FTM Transgender: Trying To Be Female

[@corylusbluefox9482]

Can we get "Happy yet socially awkward turnip" on a t-shirt please?

[@loganscottcolton4703]

Corylus Bluefox I second that! Vote here for t-shirts! XD

[@orangeblossom]

I third it!!! I would buy that!

[@exquisitebuffoon7957]

I Fourth it. Give it to me now.

[@Melissachpmnnfamily]

Ha ha! Awesome

[@majahagelqvist3102]

I dont have english as my first lanugage and i did not know what a turnip was and had to google it. Thought it was a kind of bird... :/

[@Trekkifulshay]

Blah dressing like a girl. Being sat down by my boss for job training in high school and being told I specifically got less of a raise, even if I was better at the job than one of my co-workers, because she dressed "like a girl" and I didn't. I was warned "out in the real world people aren't comfortable with women who don't act like women" etc. :/ Such bullshit. Thankfully it's gotten better. Today someone complimented my TARDIS hoodie.

[@lukbla_3684]

wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff

[@electrosquid8325]

where is The tardis on The hoodie?

[@lm2040]

I'm so sorry you had to experience that but I'm glad it's gotten better. (Also nice taste in hoodies)

[@Bucherviews]

That's illegal, surely...

[@joannajett2524]

Oh dear, that's... ew.

[@negomistar3874]

that coat sounds like if uggs were a coat

[@Jammidodger]

YES that is perfect

[@twontree]

“dig myself into a deeper hole” like... how turnips are in the ground?? lool

[@Jammidodger]

hahaha I had that exact thought whilst I was editing this video :P

[@PeacefulThoughts303]

I can "girl" (that's what my husband and I call it) for about 5 minutes but then it all falls apart

[@sonicbackrooms897]

Came out as FTM transgender today, and my mom was nothing but supportive to me. (Which is pretty surprising for someone as strict as her.) Thank you so much for making these videos Jamie, without you I would have never had the courage to come out to her, not only face to face but in general. Anyways, just keep doing what you’re doing here on KZbin dude. And good luck with planning the wedding!

[@mystuff187654]

Damn Deedly Da I'm going to come out probably tomorrow. I'm terrified because I know my parents won't believe me. But luckily I don't live with them right now.

[@sonicbackrooms897]

mystuff187654 I remember telling her when I was in 4th grade, and she didn't believe me, which meant I was never put on hormone blockers. Now she believes me, but wants me to wait until I'm done with high school for safety reasons. ( Although my high-school is an incredibly accepting place so maybe she's just being overprotective.)

[@mystuff187654]

I wish you luck with that. Wish me luck too. It's going to be rough

[@angelomc6632]

I relate to this so much! I grew up "gender neutral", I wore girl and boy clothes, I was kinda tom boyish and I loved to play with the other boys, but that girl phase came around where everyone started insisting since I was born female I have to grow out my hair and be like everyone else, so I did. It only made it worse, but when secondary school started I learned all about the LGBTQ+ community and I realized I was not a girl! I had bad dysphoria and I was so confused, but I've come so far and i cut my hair and I'm doing much better. Thanks for being an inspiration Jamie!❤️

[@Dungeonfreak]

Last time I was this early I thought I was cis

[@katinkahamels4274]

Dungeonfreak same

[@piwonbin]

ME

[@B3eau16]

Dead 😂

[@firebreathingchickenduck4936]

True

[@rokukou]

SAME THO

[@danielledoyle32]

You're a cute turnip

[@sarahwardle5556]

You are the coolest turnip on KZbin x

[@firebreathingchickenduck4936]

"Spoiler alert. It didn't work." Same.

[@dolamara]

I kind of wish I had as much difficulties in "trying to be female" as you did. I would've and accepted that I'm trans loooong ago (I'm 25 now)! :P It took me a while to realize that men can like "girly" stuff and have bunch of female friends, too. Just think of stereotypical, feminine gay men - they're feminine but still men. Not that I was very girly, nope, I was actually a "tomboy" (I hate that word) but I didn't consider myself boyish enough to be trans - just because I was fine with wearing dresses and makeup and liked butterflies. Oh, what a confused potato I was in my teens/early twenties!

[@lm2040]

nilllukka I relate so much ahhhh you just gave me an epiphany thank you so much

[@alexg4085]

its perfectly valid if youre a feminine guy or even just like feminine stuff, you do you bro

[@ayeletdrago]

your awkward potato time is my life rn lol i hate gender and thinking about it stresses me the fuck out but i related to this a lot so thanks!!

[@fenixescarlata8171]

omg YES. If teen me would have know I didn't need to be masculine to be trans!

[@saphgrace7735]

When I was younger I used to pack with a pair of socks and “pretend to be a boy”.... I assumed I was just “curious” and continued “being a girl” but I now know that alas it was not just curiosity, I’m a boy and I’ve just come to terms with it in the past year, I’ve just come out to my mum and she was chill af, however all of my dads family apart from him are disgusting bigots/ trans/homophobes.... help me please

[@sambensema9634]

I'm also a socially awkward turnip who doesn't know "how to female" XD

[@Jammidodger]

Haha *high five*

[@ashdaniel8340]

Oh I'm early shit... what do I say? Socially awkward turnip

[@pearlwashere]

Ever since I was a child my mother always told me that she wanted a little girl. So throughout most of my years I tried desperately be the girl she wanted, but I failed miserably. Although I did enjoy some "girly" things, if you will, I still was not the girl she wanted. I've been out for a few months now, and she's still warming up to the idea that I'm not that little girl she always wanted. Also to the fact that just because it's a different name and pronouns, doesn't mean who I am as a person is changing. It's hard, haha.

[@FabulousCthulhu]

Parker My mom is in heavy denial x10. its pretty bad, but sooner or later shes going to have to realize that her denial is starting to put a strain on our relationship. I love my mother to death but it weighs on you when no one in your family, except your aunt who lives in a whole ass other country supports you.

[@potapobob3769]

I'm totally a socially awkward turnip 😂

[@AlyssaSoftPaw]

I'm back here after fighting and trying to be female for years and questioning myself off and on. Now I'm back after realizing that I'm not who I thought I was and I need to stop pretending. I'm transgender and I can't keep hiding and pretending to be someone I'm not, I'm done with each check ill replace my dresses and heels with stuff that better represents who I am. Thank you for being there for me all these years, I know you don't know I exist but your videos have really helped me find myself over the past 3 or 4 years.

[@JT-xh1ih]

Oof. I feel this. It's been almost 2 decades of going off and on with accepting that I'm ftm and just fluid presentation (or even gender)-wise, and then trying to just "be okay with being an androgynous female," but you can't just think yourself out of dysphoria. People forget that gender & presentation are separate, and that those are different from sex. Like... there are a lot of folks who are feminine and ftm or still masculine and mtf, or who aren't androgynous and are still nonbinary. Hate how assumptions just set so many of us up for failure (until we break out of it!)

[@edwardb359]

Now that I've come out offline, I'm growing out my hair too. The best thing for getting it through the awkward stage that I've found it brushing it back so it starts training to go behind your ears. Straightening it can help too, since it acts longer without curves.

[@owenpridgen4406]

When I tried to be female I felt like awful I didn’t know how to act , how to walk lol make up was awful lol .

[@whoknows4780]

Hey I see you often around the trans groupies. Hello Owen. How is your trans life today?

[@owenpridgen4406]

Annie Beguhl it’s great working on finding a top surgeon .

[@whoknows4780]

Owen Pridgen, good good. I understand that can be one of the most important procedures for transmen. I wish you so much luck. I'm contemplating when the best time would be for me to get castration or FFS or vocal surgery.

[@owenpridgen4406]

Annie Beguhl thank u , how has ur transition going ?

[@whoknows4780]

Owen Pridgen, I'm almost 4 months on HRT and my nipples finally started to get sensitive (which means growth starts soon :3). I've had 4 laser hair sessions on my face and I think a solid 70% of my dark hairs are gone. Unfortunately I had a lot of facial hair to begin with, so it'll probably take me until the 8th or 10th session before I consider switching to electrolysis. Socially I'm doing quite well. I started socially transitioning almost 2 and a half years ago. I finally have a wardrobe full of enough clothes I like and feel confident in. I'm feeling a lot better about my aesthetic and my expression. I'm very stable at most times in terms of having a good balance between trying to accept my body for what it is and changing what causes me dysphoria. I think a balance is healthy to seek out. It also really helped that I moved from North Carolina to Arizona for grad school last year. An entirely new environment full of entirely new people was SO good for helping me gain confidence and assert who I want to be without being around people who are used to me being a man. I'm worried I won't be able to afford any surgical treatments for the next ten years, however. Grad school isn't cheap and I doubt I could save up enough of my surplus money from my university job to do any surgeries. Especially because I have around $14,000 in school loan debt from undergrad. But if I never had a surgery, I think I'd probably survive and have a pretty okay life. So I'm staying optimistic. Thanks for asking! Sorry about the book

[@pocketlizarddd4549]

I went through that phase not even that long ago (a few years), and looking back is kinda hilarious, but it was really helpful at that time to help me figure things out at least haha

[@dyslexicreader469]

I tried my best to live like a girl when I was 16 - 25. It was the worst years of my life. I'm so happy that I can finally be me and let my friends see who I am and what I am. But sometimes It can be very lonely.

[@cec6607]

I liked to be mistaken as a guy before and I still love being a tomboy. But I feel good being a girl. I did doubt my gender but now I just want to be me, a girl. :) I used to feel uncomfortable in myself, I just needed to learn confidence.

[@whoknows4780]

I'm glad you've come to be comfortable in your body

[@mikuenjoyerXD]

Me too! It took a long time for me to be comfortable with myself

[@randomgirlxoxoxo]

This comment is the best. This is exactly how I feel right now. I'm so uncomfortable with my body and it makes it so hard being overweight so it exentuates my curves.. but I don't want to get rid of my boobs or mutilate my body ... I just wanna be me tbh??? I'm just having a lil trouble finding the way

[@dawgggosaur]

@@randomgirlxoxoxo “mutilate my body” oh god, that is really poor word choice lol

[@randomgirlxoxoxo]

@@dawgggosaur sorry, I know. I didn’t mean to offend x

[@orangeblossom]

I'm growing my hair out and let me tell you it is bothering my just as much as it is you. I dont even know how to help myself

[@beckjaques6129]

My experience with growing my hair out, was having to wear hats and things. About half way through the grow out I get mad and cut it. So I don't know how good my advice can be

[@whoknows4780]

Oh gosh it was a solid two years before I started feeling good about my hair. Looking back at my pics from that awkward growth stage, it's just so cringey.

[@Reszig22]

You are the sweetest turnip in the world. I would really like some turnip merch please.

[@leovelure3690]

I guess i was really lucky for not getting picked on for wearing mens clothes for almost my entire life. The only time i wore women's clothes was in weddings and a funeral because i was forced too.

[@owenpridgen4406]

I wear hates when my hair is bugging me lol

[@teachersophia]

I've been watching this channel for a while and I love it, I'm a straight cis woman (Honestly, my sexuality and gender couldn't be more "normal"), but I like your videos because I can relate to them, like in this video, people would pick on me every day at school and I tried to fit in for a very long time until I realized I wasn't the problem. Also, everybody is different and I enjoy seeing the world from another point of view

[@exquisitebuffoon7957]

3:55 Relatable. I experienced the same sort of thing. I soon as aI found out it was a thing, I was like "!" Now the next step is coming out to family instead of just friends. Oh, and everyone check out 5:33. It's important.

[@emsisrbc]

Been there, done that with the hair - not much you can do except wait it out. It doesn't look bad. Some people say increasing your protein or taking biotin will help it grow faster. Hang in there Turnip.

[@imcoolandyourenot1642]

Hey Jamie, I'm just here to say: you're an amazing inspiration!

[@rhysplaysvirtual]

I have to subscribe. I just have to. This is amazing. It doesn't address my main issues, I don't think I could find anyone that can, but just listening to all of this and getting all of this information from someone who's lived it is just invaluable. People try and try to learn what they can from reading, but you really don't get any idea until you hear it. And a lot of the things you say are just really helpful even when it's not meant to be advice or anything. You're amazing! Keep being happy.

[@lukaem5365]

Some hair advice - I recently hit the year mark of no haircuts and the best thing I did, although it wasn't easy, was to just accept that I was gonna have a lot of bad hair days during the awkward stages. It's difficult af and I had to suppress the urge to chop it all off many, many times (I've wanted to grow it out for years but have never been able to be stronger than that urge), but it was so worth it. I love my hair now. I'd also recommend looking at pics of people with hair similar to your hair goals, it helped motivate me to stay strong. Lovely video as always 💕

[@PikaChan77v2]

i've always fucking hated wearing "femenine" stuff , specially skirts and dresses and i would (and still) refuse to dress in them. Also the men clothes section has some cool stuff sometimes . As a child , i played with dolls and stuff like for 4 years , then i got tired and loved "boys" toys. So yeah basically because i was a kid who wanted to use some boy clothes or play with toy guns ppl had made me ask myself if i really wanted to be a boy, or if i just liked some stuff that was stereotypically theirs. I don't think i feel like i am any gender just for the stuff i do, i didnt like people thinking i was a boy , or questioning themselves what am i, i love androginy, i just hope they didn't care so much. I don't really mind any pronouns , it's the judging part what bothers me. People saying shit all the time about how others want to express themselves should just stop and mind their own business.

[@user-wh7rs4qt3o]

Jamie you videos make me feel so much better with who i am

[@quinxit5033]

I tried so hard at the start of secondary school to present female in any way I could (Wearing skirts, makeup, "girly" clothing, refusing to cut my hair) and it felt good seeing the approval of others, but when the pandemic hit I no longer received that as I wasn't around many people. Once I returned to school I met this girl who knew a lot about LGBTQ+ stuff, and that was the first time I'd ever known that people like that exist because I grew up in a conservative, Christian household and wasn't told anything about it. I'd felt attracted to the same gender for a while, but I didn't know it was romantic until I developed a crush on that girl and we started going out. We dated for about a year and a half, and at the start of the new school year my partner came out as a guy. I was very confused because I had identified as a lesbian, but I still was very much attracted to him. After that I tried identifying as genderfluid for a bit, but overtime I started to realize I only really felt masculine. I talked with my one of my other queer friends, but they brushed it off as it just being a part of being genderfluid. I also realized I liked guys in a "gay" way? Again, they brushed it off, but over the summer I cracked. I was watching some One Topic videos, and trans stuff came up. I watched a bunch of his other videos on subreddits like r/eggirl and it just hit me. So much of life made much more sense, and I realized that I was a boy. I was really happy but also really scared because I knew what this meant in terms of my home life, and that I would be in danger if my family found out. I'm now out as FTM and gay and I'm so much happier

[@Kira.Kitsune]

You can NEVER escape the awkward phase. You have to wait until your hair grows more. You're welcome.

[@NiamhHoganTM]

That accent you said 11 years old in was one the best accidental Co. Galway, Ireland impression I've ever heard!

[@Wormytoby]

Too relatable for words! Part of me wishes I’d figured this out as early as you did, but part of me knows being awkward in rural Donegal is far better/safer/more comfortable than being openly trans in rural Donegal :P

[@creativeprodigies1322]

You must be my long lost brother...honestly I am sixteen at the moment, and I just came out to my mother a few months ago as a male. The things you experienced when you were younger concerning your identity are pretty much what I experienced and I jUst omg! Now I am 100 percent sure that I am not “confused” or anything of the sort, and I am really happy to know that I am not alone in the way I feel. Even if my mother thinks my whole situation is some way of thwarting her (yes, she seriously believes this), I know in my heart who I am and who I will eventually take steps to fully become.

[@ashliecrawford6939]

Thank you for sharing this story. It makes me feel a lot less alone on this fact. I hid my gender identity until recently. It makes me feel so good when i see these kinds of stories.

[@yms4355]

So relatable, our beloved turnipking!! D: Also hair tips: Eat multivitamin and biotin pills every day. I've grown my hair with biotin. I also wash my hair once a week with a non-alcoholic shampoo or no shampoo at all. That should help you grow your hair fast past the awkward stage. Also cover your head whilst in the sun! :3

[@blackrose999997]

Watching your videos is one of my favorite things to do each week.

[@persephonebasilissa5109]

Jamie, you're adorable and make me feel so maternal! Keep being yourself. 💚

[@SolasValerius]

Ah, all the feels haha. I am glad that you're here today, and that you are living your truth 🌠 Oh, and for growing your hair out, the best thing I found when it's in it's "stupid phase", is to wear beanies and hats; Most days you will (obvi) have hat hair, yet it helps to keep it flat against your hair during the day, this way it doesn't get in the way. And if it doesn't make you feel dysphoric, little rubber bands in your hair at night seems to help. Hope this helps you ^^

[@FallenOrpheus]

With trying to grow your hair out, get Dax or another type of hair wax. It holds really well and lets you style your hair so it grows how you want. it's how I trained my hair to part differently. Put a little wax all over your fingers, and work it into your hair, styling it. Continue to do this for a few weeks, and your hair should be a decent length to not be totally insane.

[@kaih6445]

Hello Jamie! For your hair, bobby pins really help to keep it out of the eyes, or styling gel if you have it. Getting it trimmed every once in a while helps make sure the ends don't split :)

[@nobody-bb4di]

I've always been fond of root crops... Seriously, though, guys like you help keep guys like me, sane! Btw your hair looks so fab I thought it was deliberate!

[@sarahonyoutube4804]

I just cut my hair about a week ago and it's almost the same as you have it right now... I just use something that isn't gel, but something idk the name of it (fiber paste probably) and it helps 'cause it gets in my eyes too lol

[@woeharoe]

Interesting channel. Wish you lots of happiness in the rest of your life.

[@michaelstevenson5044]

The turnip digging himself into a deeper hole? 🤔 Kidding! ❤️

[@Rachel-dp2ts]

Product. The answer to your hair is product. Mousse especially would work well with the length and texture you have now, but if you just want it out of your face I'd suggest some gel or cream to push it back and keep it in place. But the mousse will also work wonders alone by getting rid of any frizz and kind of flattening it down

[@eliadair5473]

I'm currently in the same stage of hair growth, and I've just been doing sort of a manbun style but with a little claw-shaped hair clip so it doesn't stick up.

[@Paradoxikaa]

for the hair thing, maybe getting a hairband can help if you're not going out in public/u don't mind wearing them in public? great video as always!

[@AmyBumble]

Instant like from the spoiler alone 😂 Jamie you're hilarious. And well fit 👌

[@girlwithwifi1359]

Jamie, I used to actually have really short hair. For your hair growing out, you could use gel or use just a couple of bobby pins to keep your bangs out of your eyes. You could also wear a bandana around your head or just wear a hat.

[@AndromanKaya]

I was so focused on fitting in I was completely oblivious to my gender even though I always knew I was different. Fitting in sucks! I wish we could encourage kids to just be themselves.

[@mazthemoose8529]

this is how I feel all the time and no idea what to do about it, btw your the best turnip on youtube

[@AmvReverdedStudios]

I know how you feel hair wise. My hair used to be passed my shoulder blades but from dyeing it so much I had to cut it off cause I couldn't afford to go into a salon several times to treat it back to normal. It was nice having it short for a while but I want my long hair back but right now its in that awkward mullet stage where the back is longer than the sides and my bangs are in my face and there is nothing I can do until it grows out longer.

[@kathbarnard3316]

We are the same age (born in '94, right?)- I had an ugly coat just like that too, at the same age and stage! As for hair - I found that using a really "heavy" conditioner on the "floppy" bits helps with weighting down the floppy hair while the rest catches up. I went from pixie cut to bob via an awkward growing out-process mohawk and mullet. Also, a well hidden slidey-clip can do wonders.

[@Kleineganz]

You just described my entire life, and I'm 45. I didn't come to recognize that I'm genderqueer until just a few months ago. I think if I had known about all this when I was younger, I probably would be (am?) transgender, but I have incorporated so many female things into my identity over the years that I'm closer to bigender. I still lean more towards a male identity though, and I have seriously started to consider transitioning.

[@meuanglao7]

I have super thin hair so idk if this would work for you, but after my shower I towel dry my hair and comb it straight back, like Malfoy, and leave it to air dry. It flops down out of my face and has a nice enough style to it c: (also angle it a little bit to how/where you want it to part)

[@michellewest3404]

Love the pink shirt to emphasize that clothes are not a gender. As for your hair - I always find that a lot of hats help, even though you run the risk of becoming know as the "guy who always wears hats".

[@Patrick-wv8or]

For growing hair out - I used a blow dryer for a little while just to help style it into a way that didn't get in my face. Once it got long enough I'd tie it back if only while I was working so it'd be out of the way.

[@beansz9764]

"And the cuffs!" 😂

[@cassiusgabrielcesaria4818]

Hey! You can put three tablespoons of coffee powder in your shamppoo, mix it and use it on the hair twice a week. It will look really soft, moisturized and grow faster! Here in Brazil, this technique is widely used for those who want to grow hair. Btw, I love your videos. ♥

[@pollyhart7989]

When I'm trying to grow my hair out, I'm more likely to to dye it (with henna) because it helps me keep interested in having hair rather than getting frustrated and cutting it all off. I also tie it back out of my eyes. Depends if you're into auburn hair in a pineapple ponytail, whether you heed my suggestions...

[@e.s.lavall9219]

I relate to this so much. When I was in school I wanted to wear the trousers, but it was a weird conservative school and they were only for boys and I was too much of a SHY TURNIP to ask for special permission to wear them even though there was precedent. And the trying to fit in and then realising the "OMG you ARE a girl!" comments make you feel worse.

[@Sabrina1377]

I tried to be female this summer. I HAVE SO MANY REGRETS I DID SOME TERRIBLE THINGS

[@julsbarracuda9892]

Same, I tried so hard to fit in, but that wasn't me, and I was really unpopular too XD (I still am lol )

[@LixiesSunshine]

Literally me in 5th grade

[@francescadambrosio6544]

You are amazing

[@Rainy-In-The-Desert]

You're amazing, i love ya Jamie. Also we need "happy yet socially awkward turnip" tee shirts!!

[@didacftm]

Ho Jammi it is funny because I have same experience...trying to be a girl until 19. So decided “not to be anymore” since I had no idea about trans persons. I am so damn happy now.

[@cringearchive4093]

I also did this,glad someone else did too,I discovered I was trans when I was about 11,until I was 13 I tried to dress girly as possible and then I came out at 14,from then I dressed how I want to

[@whoknows4780]

I was a boy on the surface for most of my life until 20ish. You got it earlier than I did.

[@taniav.5635]

Your videos always make my day, Jamie :((💖😘 Lots of love from Manila 💖💖💖💖

[@ramblingrowen3301]

Feeling you on the hair thing, currently going through that stage myself

[@misaoce3423]

I would love to see a photo of the sheep jacket!

[@bravodevdas]

From my experience hats will be your best friend when growing your hair out. Oh and hair ties from time to time hahaha. 🤔 or my go to hairstyle the Mohawk 😁

[@Cats_in_cravats]

You’re an adorable socially awkward turnip! And that is the best phrase I think I’ve ever heard

[@hopehurley1151]

i have a trans related question: so i know that during the process of transitioning you have the t shot..is there ever a point where you don't have to do that anymore or is it like a perpetual thing you have to do? i'm not trans, but i'm just genuinely curious. this might be a dumb question.

[@leovelure3690]

If i remember correctly you have to be on T for the rest of your life if you want its benefits. Otherwise i think if you stop ,your period will come back and your body proportions will start to form back as it was before T. But hair and voice change will be the same.

[@Masq1980]

You have to be on T for the rest of your life. If you stop T there are a few things that stay..like an adam's apple (if you developed one while on T), the voice lowering, any change to hairline will stay. But stopping T will bring back the monthly period, your fat distribution will work it's way back to a more feminine physique like wider hips and fatter face

[@bryntendo]

Check out some of the videos put up by detransitioned women (women who mistakenly thought they were FtM then stopped T to go back to being female). A lot of changes are permanent to a degree; for instance, your voice might gain back a slightly higher range but will always be lower than before T, body and facial hair might soften and grow in slower + thinner but will still be present, clitoral growth can soften or shrink somewhat but not very much, hairline changes may revert slightly but not fully, etc. Other things like muscle mass, vascularity, fat distribution, skin texture, sweat and body odour, jawline/face/lips/etc, body structure, breast tissue (sometimes even if you've had top surgery), menstrual cycle (unless you've had a full hysterectomy), etc will revert to pre-T states. Most people will stop passing as male within 4-12 months off T. If they've had a full hysto then they'd need to take estrogen in place of testosterone, because the body needs *some* sex hormones. But unless you want to detransition or stop passing then it's expected that the majority of trans people will stay on hormone replacement therapy for the rest of their lives. Small price to pay for being your authentic self and truly understanding who you see in the mirror. There's no point at which you could say 'yep I'm good with this right here, I'll just stop and stay where I'm at' because once you stop HRT your body's natural hormones will take back over and cause it all to change back again; 3rd puberty style. Chase Ross made a lot of videos about his experiences stopping T after a year or so on it, he wasn't detransitioning, he just wanted to stop. Ended up back on it though because his body reverted to it's pre-T state and the dysphoria was too bad.

[@tracylf5409]

I felt exactly the same growing up. I had 2 older brothers and I remember when I started getting breasts that I was mortified at the thought. I didn't fit in with girls but thought it was because I was used to boys (brothers). I was romantically attracted to girls, but interested in boys in other ways...it's so hard to look back and the attempts to try to make sense of everything (to face so young when you're not fortunate enough to be 100% str8). I was lucky that I was smart and funny because that's how I survived. I didn't have a "group", but I was able to move within the cliques w/o issue. I'm not trans, but we sure share a lot of the experiences.

[@senecarus_whitur]

Gah! I have been so frustrated lately! I have been having gender issues which I noticed since I was 16. I am 19 now and for over half a year I had persistent trans-thoughts . Sometimes I feel really okay with it and I really want to transition but- I am so angry at myself! Why do I have these thoughts?? Why can't I just be a normal girl and not have to deal with this shit? Transition probably won't change shit! I'm so frustrated! I already had enough stress. How do I deal with this?! Isn't this kind of crazy??? I can't trust myself! I don't know what to do anymore! I hate this so much! Having my first gender session on Monday and I am so .. tired right now.

[@alphabeticalorder168]

I used to get pushed into the boys toilets by the other girls because I had short hair, wore boys clothes and only had guy friends. Now about 7 years later I'm realizing that I'm an Elijah not an Elizabeth

[@Axsions]

When I was a kid I didn’t have a choice on what I wore, but if I had the chose I would have picked the boys clothes. At around grade 4 I started to dress the way I liked and got seen as a tomboy, but puberty made me think other wise. Now, I’m 15, still really unsure what I am but I am 100% sure I’m not female... sure I act female sometimes and do some things that are considered female, but mentally, I am not.

[@airbooks9163]

Jamie: please don't leave comments calling me a turnip. Comment Section: SOCIALLY AWKWARD TURRNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPP

[@Ross-cecil]

Your hair looks so great

[@BreakerInc]

I started transition in 2006, but since I live in Texas now, and due to circumstance, I'm -still- having to try and pretend to be female. It's stressful, since my main reason is not wanting to lose my job. It's miserable, but I'm really not sure what the hell to do about it. However.. yes, faking your gender is just friggin miserable. Before then, I did try very hard to 'be female', and.. ugh, that was terrible and made me not want to leave the house. But when I did leave it, I felt very awkward about trying to 'play the part' so to speak. EDIT: I should note that unless I put serious effort into going one way or the other, I look androgynous and have for a very long time. Lately I get referred to as Sir rather than Ma'am at work, which of course makes me worry.

[@palmtree1958]

i LOVE the turnip thing please can this be a phrase now

[@meganhulings9670]

I'm 25, ftm, and I'm only beginning to understand myself. I lived as a girl for nearly 23 years, because, being raised in a very traditional Roman Catholic household, I had the fear of God beaten into me, and I had a weird fear that if I wore boy's clothes and acted like a boy God would smite me or I would contract some terrible illness (I was plagued by severe anxiety all my life and was diagnosed with OCD at one point, now it's PTSD, and looking back on it I think a lot of my anxieties probs had a lot to do with dysphoria, I just didn't know how to process it). So, to my family, it looks like I did a MASSIVE 180 in style preferences, mindset, and gender presentation. It's something I'm coming to terms with still, as I want to come out to my family, but they will probably go through the whole 'you used to LOVE dresses' and stuff.

[@elisgeorge2420]

I never had this. I was pretty feminine basically all my childhood. I HATED puberty, and I didn’t know why, and I remember watching girls and watching how they walked and stuff and trying to copy it. I’ve realised now that I’m a feminine guy, cause being perceived as a girl makes me uncomfortable and people calling me a guy gives me butterflies. Still, even now, I tried and fit in as a ‘guy’, cause I’ve had people tell me I can’t be a guy really, not if I wear that jacket or those shoes or that dress. It doesn’t work. Screw em

[@jonahsmith2543]

"A little bit of Make-up - I had no idea what I was doing -" ....same xD

[@Iloveher1018]

turnip lol why is that such a weird word ? I'm growing my bangs out and they're driving me bonkers!

[@jaspirita]

Well.... have you thought about maybe using barrettes or bobby pins? You could probably hide the bobby pins a lot easier with tucking around your ear and such.

[@GirlinTheBrownHoodie]

Your an amazing turnip! (EDIT: Wow no turnip emoji!?)

[@isacamacho-perez749]

when i was a child, maybe around 5, i told my dad to call me a tomboy and everytime he called me girly, i would tell him "no, i'm not girly at all." i didn't wear clothes from the boys section due to the fact that ever since i was able to see what i liked, my mom would only get me girly clothes. i would always want clothes from the boys section 1) because they had things i liked and 2) i just wanted to see how it was like to wear boy clothes. around 5th grade i guess you could say i was peer-pressured into acting girly because i wanted to fit in. the last thing i wanted to do was stand out from everyone else. that's when depression really hit. i didn't feel like myself. i felt different from everyone. from the moment i started to get boobs, i knew i didn't feel comfortable with them. i would always ask my mom "what did i do to deserve this? i don't want it?" but she would always reply with "be happy with what god gave you." so i didn't complain anymore. i didn't complain to my friends either because most of them were girls and i knew they wouldn't understand. around maybe 6th grade is when i found out what transgender was. i fit in with that. i had a little trouble finding out my identity, but i _knew_ that i was not a girl. now i'm in 7th grade with a mom that always reminds me that "she's not raising a boy" and she lets me wear what i want now, i just can't get anything from the boys section. pretty much all the people in my family are transphobic and i'm not able to come out to anyone. i know people may say "oh but you're just a kid, how can you really know" like how people know that they are cis. i know for a fact that i'm a boy.

[@mkproductions1111]

I'm having the same issue with my hair so I got hair gel to slick it back and bought berets.

[@ainohana1359]

I'm a weird girl I feel as if I don't fit in but you inspire me to be myself

[@senecarus_whitur]

I have a problem... I was different and I got bullied just like you so I changed myself to 'be more feminine'... When i got gendered as a boy I said that I am a girl.... And now I think that I might not be trans because of that? Because I can't remember anything from puberty other than feeling awful... I could never find anything in the woman's section and I hated the make-up.. I remember that I was more tomboish as a child. And I loved that. During puberty I kind of disconnected with myself... I hated myself in the mirror. What if I only think I am trans because of the bullying and discomfort? What if I think that 'changing' my gender will make me feel better about myself? Help