How to Share My Feelings Without Triggering My Partner? - Jayson & Ellen - 377

[@jeanpaulsilvachannel]

''talk about behaviour and not who they are''', gold tip! Thanks

[@JaysonGaddis]

You're welcome

[@rosirose5727]

Then they will say.. Sorry u felt like that... And they Dont take responsibility for what they did... Even though they are the reason why we felt hurt

[@JaysonGaddis]

I know what u mean

[@alimoto2944]

Brilliant! Love the idea and use of "front loading" great way to validate, which may not activate someone so much.

[@JaysonGaddis]

Yes! Thank you!

[@angiemorris2493]

Thank you for sharing your knowledge and relationship … normalizing the conflicts inevitable in close relationships and how to navigate together.

[@JaysonGaddis]

You're welcome

[@adinubila]

Sounds like some people can't handle this when they are emotionally unavailable - they don't want to fix it

[@JaysonGaddis]

Yup

[@kirstinstrand6292]

Unavailable: not easy to fix! Great show; much needed.

[@elizabeths.1006]

I tried this with my ex all the time. I asked him so many times what/how did I come at him that would make him react by hanging up and ignoring me. And when he did come to talk his response would be that I was acting nuts or crazy without giving me a clear answer as to how. I always expressed that I wasn’t trying to make him feel bad or tell him he was wrong and it still never made a difference. He felt I was trying to change him. Or felt we were compatible because it was to much work. So even doing all of these things what do you do if it doesn’t work? Am I missing something is he right we aren’t compatible?

[@JaysonGaddis]

So if this does not work, leave.

[@kirstinstrand6292]

Set Boundaries, and slowly exit. Sorry, not all relationships are meant to be. Sticking around for why? Apologies for my thoughts.

[@kirstinstrand6292]

I see he is EX. Protect yourself be studying Narcissism/Narcissists. It's easy to get trapped if you are too vulnerable and unaware from the beginning. (Although he does not appear to be either.)

[@brandyk]

I think these are just tools n insights to use if one is already not going this but all it does is increase the likelihood of getting on better footing with partner,etc. it is far from a guarantee n I think the longer a couple is in this negative way of engaging the less likelihood that even doing this will help ( though of course try) bc the patterns are far too ingrained. Also some people really don't respect their partner,either never really did or hadn't for awhile. Some people will take their partner bending over backwards to ensure that they said things perfectly,ask how better to say it,etc but deep down it really is just that you're saying anything about their behavior n some people ( the most unhealthy) simply don't ever want to hear that n will always blame you for bringing something up. It could be the first year of a marriage or the tenth it could be the first time you bring it up or the 20th n if they think it sirt if stuck n afraid to leave they feel they dont have to change. They're are only so many reasonably healthy n mature people in the world. Sadly almost everyone else still wants a relationship at times so we get constant craziness with people who really shouldn't be in intimate relationships.

[@SusanWhite-s8w]

After I made the comment in a very calm way “hey when you said I ALWAYS have a bad attitude, that’s not true and I don’t appreciate it”, all of a sudden he jumped up yelling that I dwell on things! He got right in my face screaming as loud as he could and I kept telling him to get out of my face. I was actually scared.

[@zion367]

Why would we have to prevent others from being triggered? Their triggers are their way to healing. However, I do agree with adressing the behaviour rather then judging the person.

[@JaysonGaddis]

did you listen to the episode?

[@zion367]

@@JaysonGaddis yes I did.

[@moniquecruz4633]

What if they just literally wont talk about any subject of issues that are happening weather it was something that they did that really hurt you and dont care that it did or when u bring up wanting or needing more affection and intimacy feel noticed and loved but they say they do but show non what so ever and any time u try to talk about anything its like he does not want to hear any of it no matter my approach ive tried many ways even saying i dont want him to get mad or dont mean it any way i just want to get it and talk about it so we can see how eacother both feel about it normal convo no offense or accusations or demands just talking about our feelings on things we feel idk out so he knows how certain things make me feel how can we fix any bumps its like i am supposed to just take it and thats it basically fall in line put up and shut up zero effort to gain trust back doesnt care if you cry pays no attention really or makes you feel unwanted shows no intimacy or want for you but again says they do love you and want to be with you sorry long question but its alot going through this its killing me to be treated with no respect or regard to any of my feelings or wants in a relationship like truly shows no want to see or admit his faults and says im the one making myself hurt by feeling the way i feel with my emotions i just dont understand he wont let me get any thing across immediately shuts me down and says he doesnt want to hear this shit same shit everyday but the same problem is persists due to lack of communication or his ability to open up and let us talk it out and work on it together and see eye to eye its like he has no emotional feelings or how to express

[@user-ky8je2qj3z]

This is upsettingly relatable.

[@monique6111]

If he won’t do any work to help the relationship, it’s time to respect yourself and leave.

[@brandyk]

I honestly can't believe that as a society we don't encourage people in the dating stage who are even considering marriage go to counseling bc then they will know exactly who they are dealing with. Is this person open to learning n doing what's required to have a great or at least good relationship,? If they are not, it's not healthy for anyone to marry them n especially bring children into the world with them. They may have plenty of other good traits but this is fundamental for a good long term relationship. There really is no 2 ways about it. You can piss n moan ( not trying to be rude) and explain what he does to everyone under the sun but you know how he is n then chances of him changing are sooo skin especially with you as the pattern is too engrained. You know what you need to do.

[@millyroberts1523]

I would like another video on how to “have a way” 😀

[@JaysonGaddis]

stay tuned!

[@indyspuppies965]

How to deal with a husband that those a tantrum when you tell him how you feel about something?

[@zion367]

You don't. You just speak your mind and let him marinate in his tantrum and make yourself unavaileblr to be subjected to it.

[@chimenejones1323]

How do u deal with your mate and your sister take.our family side

[@JaysonGaddis]

Not sure I understand.