Jeff Dye Could Go to Jail for This - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored

[@standup]

Get ready to cringe - watch comedians’ most insane fails from This Is Not Happening here: kzbin.info/aero/PLD7nPL1U-R5oxn193dgOORoqNx9pE7wSl

[@Thuebner1104]

Comedy Central Stand-Up Airy Shaffer was the best host of This Is Not Happening. Y’all done goofed on that. No shade to Woods; he’s good. But Arie was the best.

[@DylanDaManiac798]

Soooo.... What ended up happening? This guy going to jail or not?

[@charlesnwarren]

I checked that. It's the same thing.

[@JeffWarren47]

@@DylanDaManiac798 😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LOL. (Watch the Time Traveler set first) kzbin.info

[@MeatMachine212]

My friend and I put a 20 foot tree on the 50 yard line of our junior high school football field we used post hole diggers so it was in there nice and tight the next day at school the maintenance dudes used a chainsaw to get it down but not before football practice where everyone saw it, we thought we were pretty cool

[@IMKINDOFABIGDEAL13]

What a smooth move, while he's pretending to be text fighting his girlfriend he was getting the audio clip ready

[@jaylew889]

Wait what? What audio clip, thought he was just pretending to be fighting with his gf and instead was texting his buddy to not come out

[@jaylew889]

@@bw2losh ahh gotcha, was confused and thought I missed something entirely different. Thanks

[@gamingislife3332]

A man of the culture i see

[@kumo9993]

@@bw2losh If he's prepared this set in advance I'd say there's a high chance he had the audio clip ready to go before he even got on stage XD No one's gonna set up during the middle of their set lol

[@darellteague3845]

Didn't catch that. Nice!

[@wozzlefozzle]

Would've been better if at the end he takes off his shirt and he's wearing the jersey

[@JohnBastardSnow]

***** I was expecting that.

[@playerknownasmousecop]

Odd question but where'd u get the profile pic?

[@wozzlefozzle]

Rough Karma got it from a wallpaper i have saved on my computer

[@Grassroots_Hegemon]

He said "I still have A jersey" so he'd have plausible deniability, if he showed himself wearing it that's actionable evidence, haha, he's just trying to stay outta jail, he did what he could for us hahaha

[@money4me26]

Well that's because this story is bullshit!!

[@zacharyp7511]

Love the guy that nonchalantly goes “yes” when he says they should steal something lmfao

[@DigitalJesuit]

BTW... he returned the jersey and paid the money. His statement: "I still have a jersey" is true... just not THAT jersey.

[@strikerrey6016]

@@MrMatt713 Lol this needs to be not a reply and at the top.

[@jackielinde7568]

He's lucky that two grand is all they asked for. A lot of the bars back east have mob connections... Just saying.

[@S501Airborne]

Thanks! I was actually still wondering lol.

[@diffcontroversy]

Do we know the timing though? The prank occurred in March 2013. The standup special was uploaded to YT in January 2014, but when was it filmed? Maybe he did still have it at the time.

[@whostosay3256]

Fr. Robert Ballecer, SJ I was wondering 👍🏻

[@catfishvodka6668]

he should have unbuttoned his shirt revealing the jersey at the end

[@MarshBrik]

that would have been amazing

[@emoneyg33]

oh yea that would have...

[@Potentialaj]

Catfish Vodka yaaaasssss!!!!,

[@damondpleasant9086]

Catfish Vodka, that is the best screen name in the world.

[@southsidemcconaughey231]

Iwas praying he was wearing it

[@brandonbarhydt]

Just realized it was a mirror behind the comics... always thought the audience behind them were just neglected.

[@garettdaly3716]

Brandon Barhydt it is a strip club

[@pac6010]

No I don't think so because if you watch some performances they turn around and talk to those people. Also if you watch the people in the front row they don't move at the same time the people in the back are moving.

[@TCt83067695]

really?

[@pac6010]

Yes really. Like for real really.

[@TCt83067695]

actually why am i falling for this? are you suggesting he's a vampire? Where's his reflection?

[@ldalfkjahsl]

Just for the record, he did give the jersey back (for the second time) and paid the owner the 2+ grand he was asking for...

[@renatheer]

@@yigyog No, he's not. He's a dipsh*t entitled rich kid who thought the consequences were getting too big. He still thinks he's funny and that there is no reason to get upset by stealing something of sentimental value.

[@MadeofSpareParts24]

@@renatheer you mad?

[@nicholasstuddard2978]

So Vanderjagt got his jersey back, got some great publicity, and now a couple million people think he was a great kicker and not the worst choker in NFL history.

[@xadriantajalle8423]

@@renatheer ok boomer

[@calla211]

@@xadriantajalle8423 I'm in my late 20s and this comedian sounds like a fucking moron. Doing shit to people who've never done shit to you is pretty much the definition of being an asshole. Don't know why so many people glorify that these days.

[@andraignat11]

Gotta love that "Yes" to stealing at 2:44, that came from the soul and mind combined

[@TheApache101]

The guy in the crowd saying "Yes" at the start of story when he first says we should steal something lol.

[@reubenisaac702]

Jim Breuer is definitely in the crowd. Very distinctive laugh lol

[@TheInCreDIblEMaReKU]

"it was just a goof" -Jeff Dye

[@wilfbreezy333]

Jeff Daniels: “It was a goof.”

[@coach_nomie]

:"D This line cracked me up more than it should have I don't know why LoL

[@DannySullivanMusic]

lolll awesome comment

[@thelastmanonearth2631]

Vanderjagt handled this with class IMO

[@cameronmorck8510]

Big time

[@jasperbonez2547]

What was he gonna do? It is a jersey.

[@PerfectNyx]

Thank you for this excellent example of why we do bathroom checks at bars 🤣

[@MoeMentos]

Dude sounds EXACTLY like Casey Affleck.

[@codyrinehart4678]

Holy shit. he does!

[@lylechipperson6972]

+Pharaoh Polystyrene He looks like Mark Normand too

[@tituscaesar6960]

Or Paul Rudd aka Antman.

[@PleaseForgiveYourself]

i know right?!? fuckin trippy

[@scottashby880]

B. Smith first thing i thought as soon as he spoke

[@thisguyoverhere4746]

11:43 - "FUCKEN 2 GRAND!" Dude, I'm right there with you, bruh! 🤣😂🤣😂

[@trayvonparker4772]

I’m from Marco Island & know exactly what bar he’s talking about. 😂

[@orvil9223]

Really? You mean you know the exact bar? owned by a former professional football player? on an island that is 5 square miles? What are the odds?

[@destrym6568]

@@orvil9223 I came here to say that.

[@MashCruMusic]

"Return the jersey and give me two grand." haha

[@jackglaser2001]

I'm doing a playlist of all these sets and all I can hear is the drunk guy yelling out "Yea" all the time...wished he was kicked out a long time ago.

[@twisteddane]

Yeah, though I did like it when he said: "We should steal something from here" and the guy goes: "Yes".

[@acklahh]

Lol that might be Ari 😂

[@headcold7250]

Thats the special, tiny, itty-bitty little place where the real world meets KZbin.

[@gonzorafting]

Just watched and didnt notice, but it probably was that jew mudder... God bless 'em

[@angrybuffalofan1750]

Jack Glaser it’s all I hear now

[@bingbangboom9614]

“It’s not funny when you say it like that “ 🤣🤣🤣

[@dashoopasctch]

Just going to say that Mike seems like a really chill dude considering this guy stole his jersey and all that he's like yeah you don't want to go to jail you should probably give it back but if you don't well unfortunately you're going to go to jail

[@kerley1323]

Vandy was fired from coaching middle school soccer shortly before this story. He got mad and choked a student because he made fun of Vandy for missing the playoff kick against the Steelers. Definitely not a chill dude lol

[@thecampfire4877]

Jeff Dye, the Jim Halper of the comedy circuit.

[@ElBlancoPapi]

When I was a dumb kid, I once stole a people baseball player's glove from the dugout and was then smart enough to carry it around after the game while getting autographs. I didn't know whose it was exactly and walked right up to the guy with it. I never did stuff like that so it was outta character. Anyway, the guy was actually really nice about it and just happy to have it back. Nice guy

[@citizenkiwi5548]

he had the most sad look and twitchy worried look when he's hearing the voicemails

[@ElizabethMerrihew-mf3pm]

my introduction to Jeff Dye... "This cannot be happening" hilarious! hilarious! I am totally on board, after that! He was so happy/excited telling the story, so excited about what he and his buddy , um "experienced" I was excited for him!! so, so funny its' criminal.

[@KennyMcCormick99]

BY FAR, TOP 5 FAVORITE STORY FROM THIS SERIES!!!

[@saxyentertainmentwithstans8915]

Jeff Dye the Prison Guy!

[@o0LoveLove0o]

Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Jeff!

[@Darth_Supaku]

Jeff Dye the Prison Guy!

[@salacious_modeus.]

*_Vandy’s rules~_*

[@limoboy27]

Underrated comment

[@Kitcomedy]

the first 7 seconds has the ultimate seinfield cadence

[@nickgomez93]

he seems like a cool dude but based on that story i have the deepest feeling in my gut that i would punch him dead in the face on multiple occasions. & he would deserve them

[@dustinmercer7258]

+nickgomez93 word.

[@sonnygunz9207]

Same. 👌

[@juratchet]

Agreed.

[@timstadlmueller58]

Sounds about right, great story though.

[@SANDSCORCHER]

He came across as quite the weasely, douche, thief to me. Plus I'm with you re the face punching.

[@Ryukushin]

Ok so... a lot of people assume they are lawyers, I guess, because they see this as admissible evidence in a court of law. Sorry but this was setup as a Comedy Story event, and any and all speech is seen as part of an "act" or "bit", regardless of how factual the story is, it is presented as this inflated version of the truth by a Comedian done through his routine/act. The only way they could have truly sue'd him and won would be by paying some costly court fee's that may over exceed the value of the stolen item, or they use the footage they said they had to file suit. But Jeff has verbal evidence "in a voice-mail file which is admissible as evidence" of them lieing about having video footage and threatening against him with legal action with false accusations. So there's a lot to put into consideration but this actual video won't hold up in any court.

[@Martybrizzel]

Boooooom knowledge!

[@vniguam]

yea he doesn't want to go to jail, so he would check with his lawyers if this would compromise his legal position.

[@thewrighttime1]

***** Please get that info out there

[@GoGoErrek]

***** He says. The guy's been there. So no. Maybe it works like that where you live. And maybe that's why so manny innocent people gets the death penalty. You f'wad.

[@digfire1]

***** claim photoshop

[@artic9993]

1:59 “I didn’t know Peter attended theses shows

[@brothermonkey3357]

Good story teller. The end was hilarious

[@cherchikatilo3032]

I love this 💩!! My prank was based on karma and irritation: had a coworker that would steal my Mocha from the fridge. 1 day I drank half of it, and put 2 pieces of chocolate laxatives in it. I sat back at the camera station watching my store. He came into the camera station along with my other coworker. Approximately 21 minutes later, he runs to the restroom. This goes on for 3-5 hours. Finally, I say “must of been something you drank.” He realizes I know he’s the thief. He screams @ me that I poisoned him. I smile, look him in the face, and say “I can put whatever I want in my drink. I even write on the drink don’t touch or die. Remember that the next time you even think of touching someone’s drink.” The thievery stopped.

[@mymai5859]

Careful of tampered foods. It's all in the intent. There have been cases of office workers spiking their food knowing it'd be taken by the office thief. One office thief called Police & the office workers were charged. As long as you can say the laxatives were in your drink for yourself - then all is fine.

[@thestrawberrydino]

Regardless of what he did was good or bad, this guy is great. The voicemails man.

[@sethh8365]

I hope Comedy Central paid him an extra 2k to tell this lmao. 👍🏻👍🏻

[@HalosouthparkFAN]

That was great but what would have made it 10 times better is if he pulled out the jersey right there or was somehow wearing it

[@mikebrown8577]

And then it would have been even better if there was an update at the end saying Dye was convicted and got ass raped in jail. He’s an unfunny entitled douche. The way he acts like everyone else in the story is the asshole is pretty revealing as to how his mind works.

[@michaelaradke1987]

@@mikebrown8577 you must be fun at parties

[@Deadhammer218]

He returned the jersey with 2,7 grand on top of it - deadspin.com/sadsack-former-nfl-player-punked-twice-by-drunken-comed-1189306363 If he had it, he would definitely wear it.

[@jmedina6625]

A stand up act wouldn't count as an admission of guilt as its entertainment, but if he pulled out the jersey he wouldn't have legal deniability

[@stephenforrister4992]

@@mikebrown8577 Calm down Mike

[@bug.br3akfast]

When he said "I STILL have a jersey." I audibly went "DDDAAAAAMMMMMMNNNN..."

but since you got what you wanted, which is get some sort of approach by the kicker... then you should give the jersey back. After all, it is a representation of HIS achievements. Don't be selfish

[@zegasi1274]

but 2 grands are too much XD

[@flea41593]

It's a jersey that will find it's way back to Vanderjagt because everyone knows he has it. 2 grand is a ridiculous amount to ask for, at most he has to pay for the frame, which clearly isn't that much. Unlikely he damaged a jersey that a guy wore in a football game. However, Vanderjagt deserves every bad thing that happens to him. He choked a middle school kid, had the nerve to call out Peyton and Dungy (two hall of famers) while playing the least important position on the field, was a known drunk, threw tantrums all the time, all leading to his nickname "Vanderjerk", a nickname given to him by his own team's fans. He's a douche, so I find enjoyment when people fuck with him.

[@mchris63]

The Infidel stfu

[@wal-martmaui5518]

It was funny though

[@richardduarte9118]

Marría Catchy and now it's a representation of another achievement.

[@Flynnieo]

dude on the voice mail reminds me of Ricky from trailer park boys

[@js-wz7sd]

He is Canadian

[@rb5959]

I hope he returned the jersey. I am sentimental that way.

[@oninoyakamo]

Steal something unique, that has never been sold and it has no recorded value: Win!

[@oddflacko5063]

I accidentally robbed a bank. Got fired from my job. Became an escort for a week. Had a psychiatric evaluation on acid and then converted to Islam. This all happened in the past month. I want to tell my story hahaha.

[@ZinSinger]

Lol I want to hear it!

[@christinamartinez7972]

I would love to hear your story! 😂💀

[@jordanivory6283]

At least yours would be entertaining

[@lunarose7914]

Odd flacko I need this story in my life.

[@taotaostrong]

I’m sooooo here for it!

[@didgonedoneitfasho1732]

Tuesday has always been the best day of the week. And now its even better.

[@austinharper3180]

There's a guy in the audience that laughs like Peter Griffin

[@timothyg1986]

I love these vids!

[@alanparra2187]

I watched this pretty high and when I sobered up I could not stop the laughing all over again XD

[@jasonfirewalker3595]

What does it take to be a Tsung Yugh dancer? A heart of stone, flexable bones, a tiger mom and a thousand yard stare.

[@bryancloutier5665]

A stand-up comic act doesn't qualify as a confession or testimony in a real court. It's merely entertainment. Come on people, as if he wouldn't consult his attorney...

[@Deadhammer218]

He returned the jersey and payed 2 grand anyway

[@JeffWarren47]

@@Deadhammer218 😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LOL. (Watch the Time Traveler set first) kzbin.info

[@robertschmidt7879]

Booze + "Dude, that's the best idea ever" = the stuff of many, many, many, police reports.

[@File1004]

I hope he did keep it, I used to be on the other end telling people "We caught you stealing and we've got it on camera" and it's bullshit every time. If they've really got it on video, they give it to the police right away and the police arrest the SHIT out of you. Having video proof is like shooting fish in a barrel for them

[@PersonalPariah]

A public confession, recorded and placed online does wonders too I guess...

[@TheWunshot]

Love that show and that's one of the better stories I've heard on it.

[@fullbackdive41]

Dude if Pat Mcafee stole that jersey Vanderjagt never would have got it back 😂😂😂

[@kitkat2702]

This guy makes me think of Chuck if he went into comedy instead of working at the Buy More/FBI for some reason lol

[@Ludifant]

I think it´s a crime that this is not even a misdemeanor by police standards. If somebody stole my old shirt, I´d want it back for the DNA alone.

[@ruthhope1567]

Bez"H. I'm upset about things unimaginable like life, antisemitism, targeting efforts, confusion and disgust, lack of empathy for literally anyone, deep and dark merciless evil, disturbing lingering thoughts about what is suppose to be a blessing to us, the emptyness and sadness and so much more. Thank you. #thisisnothappening

[@vindorin]

It's Jerry Seinfeld in Adam Brody's body, holy shit!

[@spritemultipack]

Funny story but really should give them back,they're worth a lot more to him than they are to you

[@dawgyv72]

"I still have a jersey" was a straight giveaway that he did return it. Kind of killed the whole punchline.

[@ChazYocom]

One of the only times the intro doesn’t ruin the main story I’m impressed.

[@Pradeep.Poonia]

5:57 how did brandt come out of the locked building? alot of details are missing

[@Reneesaidit]

I asked the same thing 😂

[@dansmullet]

Have you never walked out a locked door? Locks keep people out, not in. Hotel rooms for example????.....

[@anthonysproule4293]

Thank you for being a comedian

[@briana656]

Framing things like that isnt cheap.

[@JeffWarren47]

@Fancy Boy 😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LOL. (Watch the Time Traveler set first) kzbin.info

[@KennyMcCormick99]

This is such an amazing story!!!

[@よろしく-u5l]

“Act so Mormon about it” lmfao yes

[@fionanicholson1995]

Just found you on Jimmy Dore show. Hilarious 😂

[@unclejay9205]

It's hard to believe this was 8 years ago.

[@S1Z3M]

Jeff Dye seems like he's famous for looking a little bit like John Krasinski

[@ninaathena9781]

He has beautiful eyes.

[@kevinfiorelli3502]

Still one of my favorites

[@rockyaqua4382]

As a senior prank we stole about 300 used tires and used them to block the entrance and exit from our high school parking lot. The staff called an assembly and didn't give 2 shits about who did it, they just needed someone to pay to get rid of them because the place we stole them from was like 'we don't give a fuck, have fun'. It was like 10 dollars a tire.

[@chipmunktubetop]

He is a delicious man. I have watched this 8 times. It shows up in suggested videos all the time.

[@roym6980]

I would love to smoke a joint with this guy. Lol

[@KonstantBillsAivisuals]

got to love these stories....

[@paraliberta]

Great story funny shit, keep real Ari love your material and show!

[@buckets_of_lead]

The best one of these yet! perfect!

[@benjamingregory8012]

Ari is literally trying to get this man arrested lol

[@ira_slade]

2:41 Bruh the little yes in the back

[@jcmurie]

He looks and sounds like a combination of Jerry Seinfeld and Zachary Levi

[@ryanrad8693]

Jeff is the best, cant wait to see him May 16 at the Ice House

[@joemommasvids]

If they were being mormon about it they would be so happy you brought it back, and they would be very forgiving.

[@1bestfriend2u18]

Give him back his jersey already. Marco Island was in a major hurricane, it's probably all he has left.

[@theadag]

peter griffin laughing in the back ground

[@majorkay24]

Dude kind of sounds like Jerry Seinfeld

[@oogs_98]

Kinda, sounds alot like Casey Affleck

[@JeffWarren47]

@@oogs_98 😀I just started standup and want ur OPINION.Please SUBSCRIBE if u LOL. (Watch the Time Traveler set first) kzbin.info

[@wereswindow_david6484]

fernando sotelo said that your the best and to keep up the good work

[@notatsunderepls]

"I know I'd do WELL in jail..."

[@blindjoe8300]

What a forgiving dude

[@ChinsomanFilms1]

This and Trevor Moore's I'm not going back to mexico are the best ones yet!

[@psyclepath1964]

HAHAHAHAHA BAHAHAHAH HAHAHA Great ending!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@claireschulze43]

Lmao he sounds like Barry B Benson

[@valeniusthekat]

A JEW KICKIN' ASS!!! 😂😂😂😥😂😂😂 wait....

[@noahfrederick1561]

As a Steelers fan, I love Mike Vanderjact

[@AlexAminoff]

It’s been driving me nuts but I finally figured out who hey sounds exactly like: Breckin Meyer

[@Emilio0587]

He is the type of guy I personally hate, do dumb shit and then self incriminate them self by bragging

[@WhoWantsToKnow69]

true, but its still a great story

[@niadhf]

"Vanderjagt said he only wanted them to return the jerseys, which included the one from his 2003 Pro Bowl appearance. The comedians eventually returned the jerseys and paid $2,700 to replace the frames, but they wouldn't sign a contract that they wouldn't use the so-called stunt as part of their acts."

[@conradbrown6506]

Oh how I wish he would have ripped his shirt off at the end with the jersey on

[@mpeckenpaugh24]

I remember knowing a kid like that.. oh my God... LOL!! That was awesome!!! Lol!!!!

[@rebekahricetti4320]

I want to do this. I feel like I could be funny on stage telling stories, it's always been something that I do naturally with my friends and family- and the seven times a year I go out, I run the bar. Or so it seems. Lol Its fun to connect like that. To just have fun, being funny, or start the party- not just at bars either. This comment is for myself, I'm just trying to talk myself into trying the thing I'm terrified of trying but have done all my life. Just one of those..

[@dickjohnson6033]

Do it

[@MrDruism]

Some bars and comedy clubs have these things called ‘Open Mic Nights’ it’s where anyone can go up and do their act for an allotted amount of time usually 5-15 minutes. I used to go to one in Seattle on sundays at this bar called the rainbow, and I always had a great time performing or watching! Most of the acts were musicians like myself but occasionally there was a comedian or something different like a magician or whatever. See if there is one somewhere in your town, who knows maybe you’ll do well and eventually it will lead to something!

[@BannedTomb]

Fernando sotelo said thag he likes your video so much and to keep up the good work

[@user-js5bo1iw6f]

@@fernandogamingchannel5890 ??

[@blshbleeeblopblop]

Didn't make me crack a smile once. The only comic to fall flat on this series.

[@ethank612]

You don't have a sense of humor then 🤷

[@crownspecialties]

Best one ever!!