Jim "Captain Cool" Johnman's Don Bradman Cricket 14 | Monster Factory

[@SecretBaseSBN]

Y'all are Vox Media's best sports channel

[@windowsxp2255]

But actually, you guys should look into Don Bradman. His stats look like Gretzky had a baby with Jesus, but I don't wanna even try and begin to comprehend Cricket

[@alexanderking5676]

is this jon?

[@ibbiegannon7631]

​@@windowsxp2255l m N ,

[@Ninjat126]

"I don't know how people feel about Don Bradman" speaking as an Australian with zero interest in cricket, I learned about Bradman before I learned the names of ANY political leaders (past or present) and also possibly before I learned to read.

[@lawrencescales9864]

Nintolerance but how do you feel about him

[@UpFrogArt]

Still don't know the prime minister's name but I know for fuckin sure that Don Bradman is a legendary bloke, thanks education system

[@L1ama]

@@UpFrogArt to be fair you have like 5 prime ministers per year

[@humanrich]

Haha. As an Australian this is hilarious to watch.

[@ConManAU]

He's a top bloke. And our national broadcaster's mailing address is PO Box 9994, chosen to match Bradman's legendary batting average.

[@caseywheelwright4769]

Griffin's almost-bestial roar of "DONAALD!" when he got to that wrinkle option, though. That's literally the most intense sound I've ever heard come out of him.

[@Prophet-tick]

Roughly 8:37, for people who want to find it.

[@gabriellag2611]

and a gentle, joyful preview at 4:12

[@c.m.880]

My own nomination for most intense Griffin McElroy sound: when he sees Adult Cool’s sweet kicking moves

[@HoneycombTheywontletmeputjusto]

16:14 here's another one

[@quinnmarchese6313]

@@c.m.880 i was about to say it pretty much only compares to Adult Cools sweet kicks, and whenever the slider goes way beyond what griffin was thinking, like in Tony Hawk's.

[@HPDDJ]

"We can 62 in our goo chamber until we both yell."

[@gwen6622]

oh shit another person watching this monster factory whose icon is a screenshot from egoist? that's how i know youre an intellectual

[@Arrakiz666]

"He looks like an alien version of Breaking Bad trying to sneak into a Wendy's convention". I can't. I'm dead. My fucking sides.

[@infinitebats]

fucking drag himmmmm lol

[@rayfranklin7646]

why is referring to a fictional character by the name of the work always so goddamn funny. it always works!

[@android19willpwn]

that's one of those similes that would give you absolutely no idea what this person looks like out of context, but if you see them you think "Yeah that seems about right"

[@Ash-tq8qz]

As an Australian, can confirm that this is every cricket player who was big in the 80s morphed into one man.

[@coykoi5128]

it's true boys. take it to the bank.

[@Daniel-uw9qp]

Can confirm he looks like the chanel 9 sports panel in the 90's

[@Cobraplato]

if jason gillepsie dyed his hair...

[@saraha7909]

he looks like he owns a pub in newtown, not gonna lie

[@mediocreandworse59]

Darn it, I was going to use the same wig from my Toucan Dan cosplay but now I have to use spicy ramen noodles for the hair

[@Arrakiz666]

Man, that sounds uncomfortable. I once used Vinegar to bleach my hair, it felt like torture. I can only imagine how awful spicy ramen noodle must feel on your head. Everything for art I suppose.

[@ThyGeep]

WE MEET AGAIN

[@ghoulieboy1264]

Hello drawfee man

[@angry_android]

How does a goddamn cricket game have better character customization than Skyrim?

[@draconianking]

Because Bethesda sucks.

[@gunkwizardry]

69 likes nice

[@Ristro44]

Because it's a game of standing around doing nothing so you gotta make it fun somehow *badum tis*

[@angrybidoof847]

@@gunkwizardry don't you mean 62, my fellow human chum.

[@Bodmanford]

Skyrim doesn't have customization tbh. Without mods it's hard to make anything unique

[@mwadams1]

"Am I spectating or am I in the game right now?" A question every cricketer has asked themselves at least once.

[@latrodectahespara2728]

"He has. A knife. *Collection.* And he's going to use it on me tonight." is an all-time Monster Factory quote

[@BluesMoth64]

Every time monster factory updates my lifespan gets extended for exactly thirteen hours.

[@lukausedsteal1026]

BlueBloodstains Weird because it’s the opposite for me.

[@montysep]

Not 69 hours?

[@beecherry3943]

Monty Sep nice

[@hopefeardream]

Samesies

[@toadallyanonymous4625]

Monty Sep no it’s 62

[@JohnHazl]

You made Snoop Dogg if he were an English coal miner and died from the fumes several days ago

[@DaMaLoJo]

Wow, oddly specific and incredibly accurate

[@sarahglickfeld9077]

Hey, for my own sanity I need to know what this means. I know you said this 4 years ago but please.

[@kwarra-an]

​​​@@sarahglickfeld9077imagine Snoop Dogg. Now, imagine him, but as a malnourished and aged-beyond-his-years English coal miner from the late 19th century (at the latest - but feel free to go earlier). Now, imagine him stumbling into a "damp" - a build-up of hazardous gas - in a mine. I'll leave it up to you which kind of damp he encounters (I chose white damp, but black/choke damp and stink damp are viable alternatives). Imagine, now, that he asphyxiates from this damp, and his corpse remains in the mine for several days. This corpse, pale, bloated, and in a state of decomposition, is what OP is likening Captain Cool to.

[@critttler]

it took way too long for me to realize Don Bradman Cricket 14 was the name of the game and not the monster.

[@ryanbradleyrankin]

I'm dead. you've killed me.

[@visitorfromnowhere1966]

"Um, _actually,_ it's Don Bradman Cricket 14's monster. Don Bradman Cricket 14 was the scientist who created him."

[@ilana69420]

the abject horror in "will this match go for FOUR DAYS...?" ... it's a mood

[@PrawnCatch]

For people who use Closed Captioning, at 6:36 the full sentence with (mumbles) in it is "We 'bout to Final Pam it up in here!" Also, at 25:14 the line is "All right, the context clues." I couldn't edit the captions so I'm just leaving this here.

[@koscheiundead]

you're a hero

[@giantsalamander]

my adhd ass thanks you, hero

[@senseisleepyhead]

Thank you!

[@binary_terror2]

“When I came to this dimension, I didn’t expect to teach one kid a sport I don’t know, let alone 18!”

[@zoelarson9620]

Ariel Couch i just listened to this episode... whatre the chances 🤔

[@makeshift-moth]

That's right, I said dimension!

[@stevencooper1103]

I just relistened to that episode yesterday, lol.

[@randomtrucks]

Deborah, come in close. Steven, scoot in. Derek, yes. Susan, you’re close enough, you’re good. You know what, Timothy, two feet to the left.

[@pears5547]

I feel like I should know what this is from but I don't. What is it from?

[@blanktester]

Pre-war and post-war sunglasses immediately makes me think that the Don-Bradman-cricketverse featured a massive cricket based war.

[@bluebottle9555]

don bradman is rolling around so much in his grave he's basically turned into a sphere

[@jabelsjabels]

ol' Don Bradsphere

[@noodletongs2664]

Him being dead now is a big plot twist

[@undertasty]

don bradman is rolling around so much in his grave he turned into a drill and hit oil, making his kids stinking rich.

[@e-811]

I was going to ask if he’s dead but after this video there’s no way he could have survived

[@charlottebiscuit4133]

i don't like the mental image this comment gives me

[@blossomoranges]

Final Pam's illegitimate son has become a good good sporting boy

[@gfox9295]

Just got this to 62 likes. Jim Johnman seal of approval guaranteed!

[@angelkato1401]

her bastard son has really gone off and made a name for himself, but will he ever escape from his mothers grasp?

[@doctortehe]

Why are all Final Pam's Monster Factory children athletic stars

[@mayflyforyou]

Because she’s a human punch.

[@e-811]

Who could the other parent possibly be?

[@angelpawsikittity153]

Oh my god, major props to Clayton, I absolutely lost it at the How I Make Bread Guy part, quality editor 👌

[@DigitaIJustice]

Clayton is the best editor. Hard stop.

[@miles2419]

Clayton is so good

[@Rick586]

I love it when the editor becomes an additional character in the show :)

[@rachelrachel9152]

Clayton is LITERALLY the backbone of polygon i mean he basically teaches everyone the games each time on overboard

[@maypaul]

Was there two Jims because they gave him 2 roles? Hypothetically, could they give him all the roles and make a field full of Jims?

[@lilyp8448]

Yes yes yes yes I do hope that happens

[@myrasis]

please please please

[@NightKnight13]

10/10 profile picture bit cute

[@maypaul]

@@NightKnight13 yours too, is it by ikimaru?

[@Ends_Of_Invention]

IIRC this game was buggy af, so they might get a full team of Jims but not via any intended game feature

[@angry_android]

"He can keep an eye on second base and third base." I love that they have absolutely no idea how cricket works EDIT: Then again, who does?

[@williamedge5130]

I still believe that every game they just make up the rules and it's the world's most elaborate money-making conspiracy

[@wendtchr]

Cricket is like a North Korean knock off of baseball.

[@angry_android]

@@wendtchr Yeah except I think Cricket is older, which is whack. It sounds so made up in premise.

[@demosugar]

their reaction to "FOUR DAYS???!" is golden bc that's like, the one thing i thought ppl knew about cricket lol

[@21stCentDissonance]

Cricket is a very simple game, where every single action is explained by a word that makes utterly no sense out of context.

[@jmcrofts]

Why does Donald Bradman's Cricket Adventure have better beard and hair options than any Bethesda game??

[@vhx0323]

jmcrofts because you can’t add this many options when you phone in everything you publish

[@angeloabbatiello4755]

jmcrofts because it is the superior game to anything Bethesda could hope to make

[@SpookyDeerArt]

because todd howard is scared of hair

[@AFarmerCalledChicken]

In all seriousness; I think it's the lack of cutscenes and actual movement. You have to take a lot of things into account, plus deadlines can hinder a lot

[@SkyNinja759]

The jmcrofts, the DBZF jmcrofts? Wow, never thought you watched these guys. It's a small world it seems.

[@makeshift-moth]

I'm surprised that a Nigel Thornberry comparison never came up. The hair, mustache, and nose combination all ring pretty true to me

[@AFarmerCalledChicken]

SMASHING

[@adamcools8054]

"If Colonel Sanders was the official sponsor of Hunger Games". I died

[@FSEThompson]

Dude as a lesbian growing up in Australia loads of girls would swoon over the school cricket players but I swear they all looked like Captain Cool here

[@henrybechtel3644]

So they all looked super sexy?

[@montysep]

As a what, in what, with what, at where, with who?

[@metaadinfinitum]

This tracks, after all, Jim Johnman is the one who fucks.

[@bonelessfae4041]

Friedrich Sarah E. Thompson god me too fkdhdkfn

[@saraha7909]

oh my god same kfsdnkjvnkj

[@PuckRockWitch]

thank u justin for causing an almost deadly spittake with "this is my familiar pantalaimon"

[@Zhevros]

I lost my mind

[@RobertJW]

I was not ready for the His Dark Materials reference.

[@JSON1C]

never has a sentence struck fear in my heart like "we about to Final Pam it up in here!"

[@bagofworms7625]

Dang I love Brave 2, really happy with the storyline focusing on her son who has the power to chuck people into the sun with his mouth

[@crowgiesbrecht6726]

barber "whut u want?" me *shows him a picture of the cosmic microwave background* barber "say no more"

[@rwtf112sm]

This is now the #1 video when you google Don Bradman. What a legacy.

[@NorthernlionLP]

Not really

[@fobishi1]

I'm so glad your ghosts are hanging around after y'all left this mortal plane.

[@Tranum13]

Top Cricket champion of Benedict Cumberbatch's Home for Sharp Faced Boys

[@rattyeely]

Best comment

[@topher1241]

Griffin can make any allegory and *somehow* make it make sense

[@lilyhope432]

I can't believe you're sleeping on Justin, who made about 5 metaphors in the first 7 minutes

[@topher1241]

@@lilyhope432 you are So right

[@lilyhope432]

@@topher1241 "He looks like alien Breaking Bad going to a Wendy's convention" fuckin. Brilliant

[@bondfool]

Allegory is a literary device that makes a fictional situation symbolic or commentary on reality. Maybe you meant analogy?

[@Narokkurai]

As an American, Don Bradman is my favorite athlete, because nobody here knows anything about Cricket or Don, and it's always a delight when you get to break down just how absurdly good he was. "Greatest achievement by any sportsman in any sport" is really not an exaggeration.

[@TigerBears11]

I always felt like the monstrosities you could make in this game were overlooked. Glad to see the boys have brought light to this disaster.

[@ScoladeGaming]

How the hell does this Cricket game from 5 years ago have such a detailed character creator, and how are we just seeing this now?!?!

[@FioreFire]

me knowing nothing about cricket like these guys really enhances the viewing experience

[@pearse9116]

Don Bradman is probably the athlete who is the most ahead of his respective sport than anyone else in the sport in modern history.

[@redactedwatkins6195]

when you nut in cricket, it push you backwards, and by "it" i mean the cricket council, and by "backwards" i mean off the team

[@TheClassyZombie]

I am unclear on if this is how cricket works but I choose to believe it is the only rule.

[@DetectiveOlivaw]

I choose to believe this is an incredibly funny joke about the current state of the cricket sport

[@comfort_kitten]

I laughed so hard oh my gaaaaaa

[@KrazyKaiser]

FINALLY You guys have been talking about this episode on MBMBAM for at least 2 weeks!

[@Iluminatili]

so, like, twice?

[@brianbucceri6412]

@@Iluminatili And like every other McElroy podcast

[@elithebicycle760]

it took this long bc clayton was trying to find the how i make bread guy

[@w0rmg0rl]

is mbmbam still running? I'm listening from the first episode so I'm still in like 2011

[@elithebicycle760]

@@w0rmg0rl yes it is dude!

[@KelsomaticPDX]

I knead to know more about this mysterious bread guy meme.

[@occono3543]

@@mehrmull "Video unavailable This video contains content from Channel 4, who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds." Do you have another link?

[@occono3543]

@@mehrmull Nevermind I made a mirror: streamable.com/cw5hf

[@mehrmull]

@@occono3543 God, copyright laws are going rediculously overboard.. here, try that one: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mHmuYah8l5uJsNk Hope it works for you!

[@KelsomaticPDX]

@@mehrmull Holy shit, thank you. This is unreal. I feel like there's an art to being this horny that our civilization has lost.

[@Pencliff]

@@mehrmull I thought my sexuality was prepared... it was not.

[@tracer.s]

This man is either the forgotten cousin of Frank Zappa (Zrank Fappa), or Justin and Griffin are progressively ascending toward what Frank Zappa was trying to tap into.

[@TaveLawhorn]

Isn’t Judge Jim Johnman a maximum fun podcast?

[@android19willpwn]

yes that is right

[@emmythemac]

I think you're thinking of Judge Josh Oddman.

[@beeceedoubleu6967]

Nah, its Judge Hodge Johnman

[@caseywheelwright4769]

No it's Hodge Podge Judgeman

[@Noeyk200]

Late reply, but I think you guys are thinking of Bob Ross Flossman

[@vaivesperi]

I would just like to thank you guys for putting in closed captions and not just letting it auto generate. Much love from a partially deaf viewer!

[@Rabhadh-RhymesWithJava]

I like how even the game in which you can be the ultimate cricket master is like “Yeah, there’s no way we’re selling out a stadium for a game.” Like come on, Bradman. Have a bit more self esteem.

[@jdshort]

“All right Don, not all of us went to Brain School...”

[@MrxstGrssmnstMttckstPhlNelThot]

Has anyone deciphered what How I Make Bread means? Is this question itself a new meme? "But what is How I Made Bread tho?"

[@ciarangrace1425]

The link is broken. The bread meme is a lie. Or else has been removed by the illuminati because it is too sacred.

[@scuffycat]

It's a Berenstein/Berenstain situation

[@imeanokaysureman]

@@popdelton oh my God it's so good though

[@Champiness]

Mandy Warneke Does the editing in that video suggest that How I Make Bread Guy is the host lady’s alter ego or was that just something I picked up on

[@MissMystery1412]

Mandy Warneke god bless you

[@rebeccaucich1290]

“we can 62 in my goo chamber until we both yell” has me dead on the sidewalk

[@hesseceja2830]

"What i love about this is it's all so subtle" "Alright so we've deleted the nose"

[@marnie1426]

no matter what they are doing to this man i cant help but nod and think "yeah thats an australian cricketer"

[@hyacinthdavidson5924]

his hair looks like the cosmic microwave background

[@slickmcwilly]

I was just thinking the same thing dude lol

[@OhMyGoshItsALeg]

Or the inside of a dirty microwave

[@basilschuman7159]

his hair is the universe

[@demosugar]

god i kept seeing variations on this in the comments and i assumed it was like a desktop background with the lil debbies cosmic brownies aesthetic and then i fuckin googled it and saw what a dumbass i am

[@GracefulStars]

yes! the green hair looked like current cosmic microwave background radiation, the final hair looks like it like a microsecond after the big bang

[@sarahglickfeld9077]

Every few months I rewatch this video and it simultaneously increases my blood pressure and fixes my brain for a few short hours and then I return to earth

[@montanarose4622]

As an Australian, every different option they scroll through looks like a perfectly rational person I would see out getting milk.

[@mateo672]

“He has a knife collection, and he’s gonna 👏 use it 👏 on 👏 me 👏 tonight 👏“

[@gh000stful]

lovely day for cricket

[@toetotipthatsabart5048]

jenny jenny sticky wicket! lovely day for some cricket!

[@wendtchr]

Lovely week*

[@caseywheelwright4769]

rub ball

[@suborbitalprocess]

Oi! Right time fer a' Tea Interval, innit?

[@sbp4215]

MCG

[@discflame]

i am appreciative of our new friend Jim Johnman, Human Man

[@JackLoveday]

clayton, the hidden comedic genius.

[@_spacemanriff]

justin's laught at 16:50 is all you need to sustain yourself

[@SirSpitsAlotable]

Jim "Captain Cool" Johnman and Daz were definitely college roommates and you can't convince me otherwise.

[@quinnkjones]

He's a God damned borderlands character. And I mean that literally God has damned him to an existence in a cricket game.

[@jessicagauthier2499]

"This is what cricket players are..." Pretty sure one of those default guys was Art Garfunkel, which, in my heart of hearts, is kind of what I always suspected cricket was.

[@MisterDoobs]

Justin dropping a His Dark Materials reference like i'm not gonna notice

[@DrVblschrf]

I didn't expect that my love of cricket and my love of Monster Factory would ever intersect, but here it is and it's everything I could have asked for.

[@ProtoBlues]

i was having a bad night and i have never been more thankful for anything than i am for this episode of monster factory

[@LouGuthrie]

I feel like they managed to somehow recreate every British Male celebrity from the 70s and 80s who are still alive right now at some point during this episode.

[@LouGuthrie]

Also Benefit Cucumber

[@dinofeino1811]

How to not make bread guy is spot on at the beginning. Thank you Justin for bringing this to my attention.

[@jackwack5402]

i’ve never been so happy to hear someone’s laugh than i have to been to hear griffins scream laugh

[@Goldfish0389]

I somehow have vivid memories of Jim Johnman from my Australian childhood. He definitely drives a mint condition 80's Falcon and forces kids to sing John Williamson songs at assembly.

[@wendtchr]

This episode is ALL TIME! On par with Final Pam, Borth Sampson, and Daz. Also par is a good score for cricket, right?

[@user-ux4gu2lh8c]

The captain grumpy joke is the best thing ive ever seen

[@doghugs]

the boys don't realise but they genuinely did make the ideal cricketing body. cricket is a sport of U N I T S, 100%

[@2fortsmostwanted]

"He looks like if Colonel Sanders was the official sponsor of the hunger games" wOW Juice doesn't have to spend any energy coming up with these things, he is simply a conduit, they flow out of him.

[@charlsief]

Can I just say something? Until about 13:21, I thought this was a game about croquet.

[@garfieldbrooks]

i did not know cricket and croquet were two separate games until this video

[@coykoi5128]

'IT GOES FOR FOUR DAYS?!' as an aussie watching you discover the insanity of cricket is fucking hilarious. and yes; they really do wear hats like that.

[@ensokoth4670]

Now we have War to go with Final Pam's Death. 2/4 horsepersons, my dudes. Bringing us closer to the end we need

[@uwukimberleigh]

I'm glad both I and Griffin have the same understanding of cricket (despite the fact that I've lived my whole life exposed to it)

[@benallan7348]

2:35 the bois aren't aware of the strong and proud tradition of mulleted cricket players

[@electricdanish912]

The cheeks when they Pammed him...holy cow. It looked like he took a shotgun blast to the cheekbones.

[@genericusername546]

Finally some Australian representation in the monster factory

[@flairhayden]

This right here spirals into one of the funniest monster factories in a while.

[@JollyDonburi]

When ya'll stumbled onto the orange stubble, my mind went "This guy just ate some cheetos."

[@smooshpopper2]

I've never fallen in love with a monster factory monster before

[@k_e_r_b_e]

i’m crying this is the man of my dreams

[@alexgulino335]

Holy shit Don Bradman... that average is fucking crazy. I'm still super proud of my on base % for ONE year in baseball being .897

[@frozenbean]

There are 11 players per side in a cricket match. I think the McElroys know what they need to do.

[@melissaandreas5154]

The captions for this are glorious and whoever created them, I salute you

[@a.mig.dal.a]

You can hear gardfield when griffin says “these are antiques!”

[@crowe3301]

Every time I watch a Monster Factory, a year is added to my life.

[@frambojan]

I felt the boys were too restricted by Soul Caliber. Cricket has unleashed the true beauty of their art.

[@georgiacyriax6934]

Justin is saying "How I Make Bread guy" which is in reference to a video in which a muscular mulleted man cuts bread while shirtless

[@fizzycolalizzie]

I tried looking up "how I make bread meme" but all I got was a picture of Guy Fieri anti morphing into a garlic bread

[@sycastells1212]

m.kzbin.info/www/bejne/hn6liX1vfpijgK8

[@spellinwaiting5290]

Do I have to watch the other 13 crickets to watch this?

[@typhontwister]

No, but you do have to play Don Bradman's Cricket by Sleep to understand the story

[@suborbitalprocess]

A firm understanding of The Villan's Tridecagon is also helpful

[@cheeseboy1271]

Yes, it's best to watch ALL 13 crickets before watching this. If you don't, you'll just be confused by the plot and mechanics of the story and you won't understand some of the more nuanced character interactions. Watch them in this order Cricket: humble beginnings Cricket: humble beginnings electric boogaloo Cricket: Don Bradman approaches Cricket legends: glory of the cricket kings Cricket legends: revengeance Cricket legends: fall from fame Cricket legends: cricket is unbreakable Cricket: Don Bradman's story Cricket xxx: pleasure and pain Cricket legends: a world in peril Cricket legends: Don Bradman's sacrifice Cricket legends: lovers wrath Cricket legends: universe ending Also, no matter what anybody tells you, DON'T SKIP PARTS!!! Don't watch out of order either.

[@suborbitalprocess]

The visual novels and the ARG also reference characters that become important later

[@hearhurgle]

Some people argue that the manga Cricket: Hidden Chapter is unimportant and skippable because it was created by a third party and is considered noncanon by one of the original authors, but these people are idiots. C:HC adds much needed layers of complexity to many would-be unimportant background characters and it pays off so well during the League Bradman vs. Apocalypse Alliance Arc.

[@LimeyLassen]

Those astronaut ice cream gauntlets are a miracle.

[@drskelebone]

I only get my monsters from the factory. Thank you for making one of the few absolutely pure series on the internet.

[@GoldnDusty]

*sees Mitchell Johnson flickering into Jim Johnman* *dies* Never have I wanted to sit the brothers down for a 5 hour powerpoint on something I understand very well.

[@nikbol43below]

11:59 He's just made a perfect cricket joke, and he doesn't even realize it. Amazing.

[@lilyp8448]

Headcanon that Jim Johnson is one of Final Pam’s many sons

[@madisonalmquist7311]

If anyone's unclear without captions- at 6:36 Griffin says "We bout to Final Pam it up in here!"