Joe Rogan Experience

Theo Von is a stand-up comedian, television personality, host, and actor. Check out his podcast called “This Past Weekend”& "The King & The Sting" with Brendan Schaub both available on iTunes & KZbin.

[@sirgallant5000]

Theo is like a comedy pro boxer. You think you're ready, you have your guard up and BAM he hits you real hard from a weird angle with impeccable timing and you're howling. His mind is a beautiful mystery.

[@rememberingtruth]

b i g o s u That's a poem

[@Hehawtyragu]

b i g o s u perfect explaination

[@micahhammons451]

Idk about all that

[@josh8161]

Drake Hayes try it out👖

[@sandwichtaster]

@@beenjamminbuttons7771 Don't step on his mojo, kiddo

[@LuisMorales-ch8lu]

You know it’s boutta be gold when Theo says “this one guy from my hometown”

[@Ashley_Schaeffer]

Or "this man by us..."

[@puebloking8280]

Always

[@microtransactions2661]

Oh one hundred percent

[@johnnie543]

Or "I remember when I was young..."

[@claytonwhite4883]

everytime he said that i started laughing bc i just knew it was going to be funny

[@Kirch93]

Jamie snickering in the background every time Theo makes a joke that Joe misses, so good.

[@theartist6764]

Bro I swear I'm a Theo fan NOW every sentence was hilarious.

[@marielenrdz10]

No lie! I was dying with everything Theo said and Joe was completely oblivious!

[@danielwalker8212]

Dirty math tatted around her puss. Didn’t even phase Rogan. Had me dying.

[@jamesleealexanderdormaniv2529]

Shame no one time-stamped this gem.

[@spitspttv]

Not cracked out so much when the bees show up lol

[@Njkk500]

The old podcasts age like fine wine. 🍷

[@markmtb182]

I've watched Theo and Burr over and over

[@Prodluud1]

44minutes in i can confirm

[@Swelihle-bz8gw]

AGREED

[@JamesR23]

“We don’t use animals enough. They’re usually just sitting around.” Lol

[@setnomA]

Lmaoo

[@IncogneatoVegan]

Vegans would disagree 💀

[@yfoog]

That's such a dumbass human comment

[@andrewsdakoolest]

@@yfoog he was joking lmao

[@kyserblade43]

@@yfoog ironically your comment is the same thing.

[@nyxzus]

Joe - "You don't like the french?" Theo - "No one does." Joe - "That's no true, people go Paris every year." Theo - "Yeah but they leave"...... DEAD

[@jazsi_]

This had me creasing.

[@jaden5843]

Time stamp?

[@terrywbreedlove]

LOL priceless

[@nyxzus]

@@jaden5843 3:01:59

[@TK-oe1xm]

That's a perfect Theo Joke that Joe cant catch it's a joke, he just burns Theo when he tells one, or he just doesn't pick up on it.

[@Brian-bq8pf]

"We had a dude..." Every time Theo says that, he is the dude.

[@ivanrico961]

Yup 😭😭😭😭😭

[@tonycolon1518]

😂

[@rudolfulloa]

Fuuuuck! The truth shall set you free ...damn!@!

[@jrockxo3146]

gonna start using this

[@chester6514]

😂🤣🤣

[@SlightlyInsane1]

Theo is seriously on another level when you really consider his creativity

[@Lloydyk-dl2id]

Facts

[@Brent-o9l]

Imo he is the best comic on earth right now

[@Lenisakey]

I think his life and experiences literally makes him think about things so differently from most people…dark humor for days…I think some of us think the same shit, but it’s like Theo’s filter is broken! What most are scared to say, he just says it…and the fact he is so lovable by everyone, nobody gets offended! That’s my kind of humor, and I’m here for it all day everyday!

[@pokemontradingcardgamecoll5934]

Theo is my spirit animal and I'd love to dose Lucy with him. He would be amazingly insightful and it would be an awesome experience to do that with him and Joe. It definitely brings people together.

[@B-ave]

His mind is fucked.. I love it 😂

[@sammazy9293]

"you know we dont use animals that much, theyre just sitting around most of the time" - Theo Von, 2019

[@DailyCorvid]

Somewhere in Alabama is an Owl with no feathers, sitting telling his grandowls "Yeah he got a hunk of my wing in his mouth, I dun flew outta there like a rocket to tell you this here story!" and the wee owls are like "fuuuuuuck duuuuuude..." Owls heading towards Theo Von's tailer now they want to be put to work! Selling steroids on the side of the highway" :D

[@mcj2584]

Love the shit he comes up with! 🤣😂

[@Maximustard]

Theo is fattening up some Owls for thanksgiving

[@quantumskittles]

How long do trees live for?

[@johnny5blaze392]

@@quantumskittles forever if the believe in jesus

[@YouveGotToHide]

"I met Buzz Aldrin , from the moon, and when I met him it didn't seem like he'd been to the moon." the words coming out of this guys mouth are pure gold

[@BigBird104]

I'm so happy you shared this. This line has been stuck in my head all week. I keep trying to get friends to listen to anything Theo says. It's hard to explain just how funny he is, or why he's funny, until you hear him

[@comet60fps79]

Just like when they discover a serial killer and all the neighbors who get interviewed say "I never would have thought he was a killer, he was such a nice guy"....lol...lol... People are so stupid sometimes that its pure entertainment to the rest of us with at least half a brain!!

[@2006MC]

The way his mind works kind of reminds me of Karl Pilkington. Like he just thinks of things that you would never think of but at the same time makes some sense.

[@icookyorice1]

I missed that timestamp please?

[@WELLZY_]

He's the American Karl pilkington

[@sulejmanomerovic274]

Theo: " a couple of these bitches could be variables", one of the greatest lines i have ever heard. This also applies a lot in life.

[@jubaldurden4638]

Joe thinks he's smarter than he is, and Theo is funnier than he thinks.

[@Enki-the-Great]

This was an amazing line and got no attention.

[@stickyickytoker]

@@jubaldurden4638 Joe literally says in this podcast how stupid he is....

[@ericrenquist6494]

@@stickyickytoker Yeah, but how much does he really believe that, deep down? It shows in the way he treats some people. I really like him, but he does think he's smarter than a lot of people. It's not as if that's the worst trait a person could have or anything though.

[@rvosta2450]

@@jubaldurden4638 Oh shit! Facts!

[@respecting]

“Draw it for me on a napkin” Theo you absolute mad man. 😂

[@RyS2014]

"I met Buzz Aldrin... he didn't seem like he had been to the moon." ... never change Theo.

[@heyoooooo]

Ryan Staebler crazy he said that.. recent video of buzz saying they havnt been to the moon..search it up

[@Bigwerm_253]

I was mad Joe cut him off and they didnt continue that conversation

[@sumtingwong8592]

@@Bigwerm_253 Yeah, sucks

[@kr50401]

Underrated comment.

[@YoungHonaTv]

How dumm can u be? Know what u talking about, do some research u lazy nut ....

[@YKantLaurenRead88]

"If you're gonna feed a family of four you're gonna need more than one owl" ~Theo Von

[@tnbdynomite1988]

Theo: They're a lot smaller than you'd think---LoL! Joe: that's illegal you know?

[@lukeappleberry827]

"You shouldn't say that on the podcast man thats illegal." "Well, I didn't have a lot."

[@cherisebauguss6966]

May have had 2 bites! Actually I think I spit it out

[@johnlemay5501]

“Dude, I watched bees communicate with each other one time. I was on the set of fear factor.” The most Joe Rogan quote of all time.

[@villehamalainen2541]

Have you ever tried smoking DMT with chimpanzees?

[@happybeach777]

John LeMay hahahaha

[@bryanosorio3958]

Just add in something about chimps and now hunting and the word “bizarre” and then you have the most Joe quote ever

[@LetsGoGetThem]

Sounds like it was generated by an algorithm trained on stuff he says.

[@myrtonen]

I think this idea came from James Hetfield and Joe made himself a story about it. He’s writing his life just like his comedy.

[@Jamin2600]

“Is it sand?” “This is probably salt” Theo in the background: “I love salt”

[@Rodelero]

Hahahaha yes!! Was gonna Comment that I'm glad someone caught it lol. Theo is quick witted

[@lukalegin846]

Joe is right. He has one of the most unique senses of humor 😂

[@keepyupy2334]

Joseph Rodelero Roth how is that quick witted? Funny, yes, but quick witted?

[@matthewfigueroa6907]

also when he said "new jerksey"

[@tusanity]

Time stamp guys?

[@MrDoomsie]

imagine being so high you forgot the word "symmetrical"

[@jakebennett5029]

e·qui·dis·tant /ˌēkwəˈdistənt,ˌekwəˈdistənt/Submit adjective at equal distances. "he wants to be equidistant from both political parties"

[@RoyArrowood]

Lol exactly what I was thinking

[@TheRadam123]

im pretty sure he meant equivalent...

[@dougdonnelly3637]

Doom Sayer 😭😭

[@stormeyes4]

This comment was what I was looking for lmao

[@hdrjunkie]

“Homeless people don’t do much of anything but when Bees show up, they get to doing things!” Too funny!

[@justinrudolph7232]

“The Dutch are very aerodynamic. Jamie pull up a Dutch”

[@PrincessSteele]

Justin Rudolph I snorted ... so funny!!

[@MB-ey6vv]

this joke flew right past Joe's head

[@cannabisdeathmorbs]

Ok

[@disectproject]

I p

[@bigfoot7688]

Lol

[@Stevem9521]

Theo is obviously hilarious but I think when he is with joe the contrast in their personality really adds a whole new level to how funny theo is. It's like joe brings it out of him without trying

[@angryrabbit6637]

YESSS THEYRE LIKE PBNJ

[@bakedcrystal915]

Joe brings the best parts out of most of his guests

[@kingalex4120]

a/ 😊z😊w1

[@YeahSureNoWorries]

Theo "your left hand is barely even your hand" Von

[@isaacmonson4403]

Mr Charles 😂😂🤣🤣😂😂

[@YoMommma510]

I lost it when they were talking about owls and Theo said “there’s not a lot of meat on those things”.

[@502Bentley]

“Did steroids on the side of the road.” “Why didn’t you do it at home?” “Seemed like an outdoor thing.” Imdead

[@DeleriousOdyssey]

Theo's the best

[@steveh7418]

*Interstate. Its all in the details

[@ashleyjamescant5332]

That had me in bits

[@phoenixzappa7366]

Theo and that dude had sex. That's the impression I got. He talks about fucking dudes all the time and there was something weird about that story

[@auntyuber5127]

PAULY TOONS. ARE YOU LISTENING.?

[@andrea2798]

"An eleventh (1/11th) of a handful..." this will be my answer to most quantity questions from now on.

[@3EBstudio]

lololololol

[@TheRacingMonkey]

I´ll use it

[@manvirseehra5416]

Andrea amazing answer lolll

[@AA-nh9do]

An??

[@renatalorena]

Andrea 😂😂😂😂😂 there should be a toon for that 👌

[@tenaadito]

Theo "It's spring " Joe "its mid winter" Theo "you guys are not open minded"

[@mrpersonguy7286]

🤣

[@daviddees7354]

Theo is the new King of Comedy. He is bordering on being an alien he is so uniquely funny.

[@cameronjordan1516]

Hahahahahahaha Von "You know i ate owls" Joe "...isnt that illegal?" Von "well i didnt eat alot" I think i shit myself laughing

[@6ri66s2]

“I think I might’ve spit it out” lmaoooo

[@stephenfermoyle4578]

that was so funny went right over every ones head

[@canadaeast8358]

Me too I lost it

[@BestBly]

Knowing him he prob did try owl for real

[@nolan387]

I fucking HOLLERED at that 🤣🤣🤣

[@robpfeifer4954]

Jamie growing them grey hairs from the stress of constantly having to fake laugh everytime Joe makes a joke and looks over at him.

[@monkeytennis800]

😂 the poor bastards gonna look like Joey Diaz within two years if Rogan keeps running this shit!

[@Jacob-sb3su]

This post made me realize I do infact not want Jamies job.

[@zachhoward9099]

I have this weird feeling that Jamie has a very unfufilling job and if it werent for the weed and interesting guests he would have quit a long time ago. Hope im wrong but Joe seems like less and less of a nice or fun guy as his stature grows

[@raitiC1]

Greybeard and a nerds voice is a terrible combination! :D

[@pootietang9542]

SellingMySoulForPizza now that is fucking funny. I love how everyone can notice that weird shit.

[@rawsko0316]

Theo "bees will motivate anybody" Von lmfao

[@AxxLAfriku]

This is super confusing to me: Why do I have so many fans on KZbin even though I am the unprettiest KZbinr EVER? Good night dear 501bloo

[@garybierman1621]

"You're not all cracked-out once the bees show up"

[@dogsbreakfast4952]

What is it bees

[@thomastobin8529]

He's right eddie bravo talked about it you just got to look into it

[@babdabubda5266]

@@AxxLAfriku You shouldn't be confused. This generation of neckbeards love autistic channels.

[@OGGamingABC]

Joe got so high he can't shut up for 1 second, he's every girlfriend Theo ever had 😂

[@felixs5059]

@bendodsworth2373really ruins it. I just wanna listen to Theo not to joes boring stuff

[@dg1431]

Was very nice of Theo to interview Joe Rogan.

[@sarahsaucedo1315]

Seems more like a conversation than an interview.

[@theodoregideonshisha7919]

@Decriminalize Darwinism I love when Joe is chill and present and also interested, but it's sometimes hard to watch after Joe uses some pot. I cant remember exactly who it was with, but the change was significant and Joe just got to some strange mood. I used to smoke a long time ago myself, and I many times found myself.. dumb? out of the time and place? spoiling the moment for myself and sometimes people around. It doesnt make you bad or anything like that, just.. IDK, its natural and all, but that state of mind isn't. And oh boy I can tell how much worse it is when it becomes natural..

[@mattblanco178]

Ya. Don't recall seeing Joe on theos podcast.

[@TrueRahf]

@@theodoregideonshisha7919 could it be that Joe goes from listening and engaging, to teaching and informing? He goes through those waves during most of his podcasts, where he just dives deep into how things are, how they aren't, how they should be, what people think of things, and so on ad nauseum. The result is usually his guest voicing affirmatives for a few minutes, and then the topic starts trailing off.

[@conorfisher1822]

“A couple of these bitches could be variables.” -Theo Von Damn straight.

[@brotherhood5735]

Theo said “an eleventh of a handful” 😂😂😂😂😂

[@danielheitzhausen6485]

Everytime I read that I hear his voice in my head 😂🤦

[@tarzanfou8]

American standard units of measurement

[@nicholasrogers8173]

Yeah I was just learning the other day in math... the volume of a cone is V = (pie)r²(h/3) where h = theo von's handful.

[@mathewstudios2410]

I like how Theo takes every question seriously and takes time to think of them even if they are sarcastic.

[@lmtt123]

They're both stoners talking crap. The only difference is that they have money

[@elitev8888]

Reminds me of myself LOL.

[@joshflynn9685]

​@@elitev8888MN. I. U. U. B I 😮😮

[@hiphophercules]

But doesn't get the opportunity to answer most since Joe responds to himself immediately.

[@RichardSmart-ev1nx]

It's definitely cool because you can tell if he's thinking about a joking response or somthing he wants to say of intelligent value

[@RSProdism]

I love when Joe mentions that he’s a comedian 😂

[@RedsoxNation07]

"An 11th of a handful" Damn Theo is hilarious!

[@John-lq5kz]

Depends how big your hands are

[@michaelbenson9518]

The subtlety of Theo's humor is completely lost on poor Joe.

[@liggerstuxin1]

Michael Benson random is not subtle. Just cause you don’t laugh doesn’t mean you don’t get the joke.

[@michaelbenson9518]

@@liggerstuxin1 Yes, Theo's humor is also random (and uniquely creative). I still feel there's a disconnect.

[@murpsauce7168]

lol tHeO's huMoR is AbOvE eVeRyBoDy ElsE's stfu. you're making Theo look bad.

[@Dirtbiker463]

Subtle? lol

[@augustwest7944]

Idk man. That might be a little true on some of Theos older appearances but I think he got more laughs today than any other show. Joe was laughing almost the whole time homie. gang gang

[@jaredross2148]

Theo: Is that Holly Hunter? Joe: No, that isn't Holly Hunter. Theo: I don't even know who Holly Hunter is.

[@christianleeperrr7641]

Jared Ross he’s so fucking funny

[@HonchoHoodo]

Lmaoo

[@BennjkSyd]

Can someone please time stamp this moment haha

[@Poke_Geek]

He just talks out of his ass

[@brandon4391]

Ben Ksyd no young Jaime

[@AEKITER]

These two laugh so much together. Love watching them laugh together.

[@TheHorseWhisperer82]

Theo: ''I met Buzz Aldrin from the Moon and when I met him it didnt seem like he'd been to the moon, you know what Im saying though?'' Hahaha

[@neoepicurean3772]

LOLZ

[@atom0824]

😂😂

[@genuinedelusionsmusic]

I feel that

[@sarikatimmi]

Richard Sargeant we get it tho

[@Gripps3434]

Damn I wish Joe would have entertained that. He misses so many good tangents with Theo.

[@oleyullah]

J: "People go to Paris all the time" T: "Yeah... but they leave" Lmfao

[@AlanMichaelJackson]

Jamie legit has the best job ever. Just Google's things for Joe, meets and learns so much from all the guest. Free 3 hour comedy shows from Theo and other comedians. Smokes weed on the job, damn...

[@dkblade13]

Jamie is our man! I'd love to be like him, genuinely the best assistant job in the freaking world. You cannot even compare this to being assistant of some kind of douche ceo of multimillion company

[@jordandudley8471]

It’s crazy because all he’s doing is kickin it with his friend like shits dope

[@amirs3180]

He probably earns a shitload of money too

[@danielmata9178]

I think he does much more than that. But that's what you can see

[@georgeprendergast8305]

Living the dream

[@escherpainting8622]

Every friend Theo has ever had has since passed. RIP.

[@icenutsproductions9682]

Joe “I may have to evacuate” Theo “why bees” Joe “no mudslides”

[@Uncle-Bull]

I can’t decide whether Theo is a brilliant comedian, or if he’s sustained head trauma and all this brilliance is a happy accident.

[@latchkeyed8474]

William Miller 😂

[@dip518set]

all natural occurrence of beating down syndrome

[@cpitts385]

Bofe.

[@modernsavage2584]

Either way, the results are great, just enjoy it.

[@dvduadotcom]

The plot of BEING THERE, great movie.

[@lassilandstrom1321]

"I met Buzz Aldrin, you know from the Moon" omg Von is hilarious

[@peacefuldwellings489]

Lassi Landström 👏👏👏caught that. This guys weird humor is so amusing

[@waspywasps]

Peaceful Dwellings His vocabulary is so hilariously vast.

[@thelonesomewanderer8359]

yeah hes fucking HILLLARIOUS lol

[@randygreen142]

He drops simple comedy nuggets for people to find. Basic shit when you think about it has your mind going on an adventure 🤖

[@utopian-invader8626]

“What if a certain hertz just spelled your grandparents’ name”. Theo is a machine!😂

[@slickrickb89]

Theo: *says a ridiculously hilarious one-liner* Joe: ".......well you have to think about it like this..." Summary of entire podcast.

[@AndeTheGr8]

Rick Butler he tries to be smarter than he actually is.

[@bryanhawkins9418]

Theo is funnier than Joe. 🤷🏿‍♂️

[@nopenope7184]

I think you are just giving him too much credit. I've known people of this "manner" and they definitely weren't trying to be funny when they said stupid shit.

[@mcearl8073]

Nope Nope Yes exactly. I’m not sure what these cunts expect joe to do everytime Theo says a random one liner that some of these people find to be “comedy gold”. How annoying would it be if joe stopped every time Theo said “I love salt”. It’s a little funny comment, it doesn’t need recognition every time.

[@raylangivens2138]

“I met Buzz Aldrin, you know- from the moon?” -Rat King Theo Von

[@MaynardOwns]

I'm not sure I get the rat king thing. He sort of comes off as a rat king so I guess there's that. But the bee sting shit for schaub. Just no.

[@mikedru2912]

@@MaynardOwns it's because they say he looks bloated like he was stung by bees

[@GettInWhErEuFitIN]

Theo "That'll make you stronger if you got a heavy shirt" Von

[@christopherrowe2740]

Funny to come watch this 4 years later and listen to some of the things they speculate about that is happening now or close to. Theo and Joe are always entertaining.

[@joelrichardson11]

Lmao Theo said "i'm surprised we dont have more ghost animals"

[@mlr975]

JoelRichardson I was dying when he said that!

[@trevorthomas3774]

I spit out my OJ 😂😂

[@jowoo7237]

@@dashiit1748 no it's not hilarious actually....

[@trevorstine8647]

C'mon Joe, ya gotta at least acknowledge that golden nugget. Very original.

[@Tormentality]

Word😂😂

[@ArtieStrongManMusic]

"I used to own a 1984 Ford Escort but somebody stole my passenger seat" -Theo Von

[@dchalifoux8529]

Young Jamie is now Old Jamie.

[@tankgirllovesroos]

This is free therapy. ❤😂

[@GoldenFlower11235]

Amen sister

[@Claxiux]

The fact that most of Theo’s jokes fly over Joe actually makes this funnier. They need to do it again! And more often!

[@Tonka_6.7]

Agreed I’d love to see more of these 2 and I’d even go as far as Theo being ringside on the mic at ufc fights and boxing🤷🏼‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️

[@raymirtv]

Lol what they say toward the beginning new jerk city lol

[@Fizzywomack88]

How did Joe miss New Jerk City 😂

[@kaceestaskivige3105]

@@Tonka_6.7 n,.... Mm

[@kaceestaskivige3105]

N.bn.n.b..n N Mm... Mann Bn Mm H H

[@tobytomlinson814]

Theo has such a unique and irreplicable comedic style

[@abrahamsalazar6246]

Thats no style he's just being himself lol

[@visionet3241]

@@abrahamsalazar6246 style = personality = being himself

[@mikeharris4562]

I find it’s a combination of life experience and lack of education! He’s not stupid that’s for sure but he’s not academically gifted lol 😂

[@alexalvarado2693]

He truly does, with him keeping a straight face makes it funnier. And this makes it hard to know if he's in character or being honest.

[@OmarGongora-sq8yg]

I lmao, he's a good guest

[@abusername1270]

Listening to Theo feels like you in your cousins tree house drinking dr pepper throwing m 80s at frogs

[@momdieddad]

ah so thats why i dont get him

[@justinaustin3063]

@@momdieddad no that's because your sense of humor sucks

[@robertfan332]

Rogan does his thing but I can't believe he can talk to Theo von about comedy. Rogan comes across weird and awkward on stage with zero laughs. Theo von puts on a legendary show and is a natural born comedian.

[@randomdude189]

It rubs off on joe too lol s”ee if that’s what that means”

[@ViktoriousDead]

Amen

[@brandyleach4050]

Theo’s Buzz Aldrin comment has me crying! 😂😂

[@cubbycramer]

Theo "Eleventh of a Handful" Von

[@TheCCress]

Made me spit out my coffee laughing.

[@megamixa]

He had me looking at my hand trying to figure out how much an 11th of a hand was. About the size of a quarter.

[@zachbartlett3297]

That fucking killed me!

[@andresao6109]

How does his mind even work to make him say that hahahah

[@Th3posthouse]

I fucking died 😂😂😂😂

[@emilykoch4123]

“I’d send a bird that nobody expects, you know, like a warbler...” 😂😂😂

[@honestinsincerity2270]

Bees will motivate anybody -Theo Von 2019

[@davidramos-rivera3136]

Whole Foods sells pro bee bags

[@4036alex]

He ain’t lying 😂🤣😂🤣

[@UndoingRuin08]

fuck yeah bro im motivated just hearing that

[@trippykoa616]

You’re not all cracked out once the bees show up

[@richardphilpot9193]

Theo made bee's great again......

[@mustuphakhan8580]

Theo comes up with stuff even he don't understand 😂😂

[@zakbrolly7752]

Joe talking about a grown ass man hitting an 11 year old girl Joe- “Do you want to see it?” Theo-“ No, draw it for me on a napkin” This guy kills me..😂😂

[@JohnOfJohns]

Patrick Swayze + Joe Dirt = Theo Von

[@emanijudah6985]

😂

[@knieptang]

I´m somehow thinking Beavis & Butthead... ...sorry, dont wanna be disrespectfull. I think Theo is genius!

[@flavourpunchh]

LMFAO OMG MAN 🤣🤣😃

[@MrsLovelyPendragon]

Dead 🤣🤣🤣

[@georgekarson6599]

Add tom Brady

[@therakai7933]

Theo is freaking hilarious. This is one of the funniest subtle/not subtle episodes of the show

[@johnsonevan11]

this is the best TED talk i've ever seen

[@aurteekay6339]

I love how everything Theo doesn’t understand fully is “the dark arts” 😂

[@ilikemyowncomments9065]

He usually refers to the dark arts as things that are bad for your soul; coco, pr0n, master bait shun, impure thoughts Edit: i heard the part you were referring to, i think. About the sound waves from different MHz levels making patterns in sand. I don't think he didn't understand it as much as he was comparing it to how a Ouija board attracts "spirits" to spell words and phrases. Theo was raised in Louisiana lol Their religious beliefs can be pretty intense.

[@oose2875]

Does Joe have chew in his mouth?

[@audhumbla6927]

its not that he dont understand, he uses it to describe darker parts of life.

[@RockyMountain4x4]

This had me rolling 🤣

[@Bonsoirmonamie]

@@ilikemyowncomments9065 dude analyzing theos content for facts about his life is like watching a cat to understand Shakespeare

[@RRRRobbbb]

"I love salt." -Theo Von, 2019

[@susie7336]

Rob 🤣

[@blakejones6648]

Who doesn't?

[@MarcelPatillo]

Classic Theo 😂

[@seaeaglesfan2276]

“Owls are gross” - Theo von 2019

[@mikem1006]

"I met Buzz Aldrin, he didn't seem like he'd been to the moon" -Theo Von, 2019

[@UncleRandy73]

Joe hears Rocky and runs faster Theo hears Rocky and punches his stepdad ... ha

[@falaniko1231]

What time is this lol

[@maughty2591]

@@falaniko1231 16:47

[@Leo-yn5fx]

LMFAO!!!!

[@ICYPROFITS]

I think he mixed up Rocky with 8 Mile

[@mikeholtze]

@@falaniko1231 88w888>I 3

[@brandonbaumgardner4803]

The way Theo said “I hope not” when they talked about a pedo ring was so genuine

[@wadewade8521]

"Well I'm surprised we don't have more ghost animals"

[@stevex8409]

That was a classic lol

[@cgates2]

How does Joe not fucking acknowledge that line? He either deliberately ignored Theo there or he’s warp speed high.

[@KentRodgman]

@@cgates2 every podcast with Theo, Joe totally ignores at least a dozen of these beautiful one liners that Theo drops. I can't tell if he's just puts them so casually out there and drops them so subtle that Joe's too high to notice, or there's just too many to catch all the time haha

[@stevetaylor9121]

That was my favorite line

[@kyleserrecchia5300]

That’s some seriously smart shit. Hilarious smart shit haha

[@Dymaxxion]

Theo von is great. His absurd comedy is absolutely amazing. Just like Norm he pretends to be aloof and dumb when in actuality he's very aware and intelligent. His wit is refreshing.

[@frankwindchester224]

Outer Drive Fuck you Theo I live off $8000 a year i work full time. no car -30°F all winter on the border or MINNESOTA International Falls. There are no Jobs. None unless you know someone in the paper mill. Everyone lost EVERYTHING when they went to robotics. 2000 jobs GONE. Now there is no town economy. I CANT LEAVE. IM STUCK I LIVE 3 hours from anything without a car along with the other 40% of ADULTS. SOBER(cant afford drugs) LAW ABIDING HARD WORKING 40 hour a week working jobs. We dont know anyone anywhere else. We will 100% homeless if we leave. No fucking bullshit WE ARE STUCK!! You naysaying over George Carlin? FUCK YOU DUDE YOU HAVE FUCKING MONEY!! With this after three month WE CAN LEAVE OR STAND UP TO THE COOPERATION RUNNING OUR TOWN. WE HAVE THE OPTION TO NOT BE SLAVES!! Get it you selfish piece of shit Theo Von? Did you hear me? You dont care about us? I hope you to be cursed. I hope you lose everything!! AND NEVER ABLE TO RECOVERY NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY. You're an awful awful person for showing your true selfish colors.

[@muchtoohard]

@@frankwindchester224 what

[@FormulaMonte]

@@frankwindchester224 hey buddy.......you wanna talk about it?

[@blurfan375]

Outer Drive so glad someone sees a comparison to Norm and Theo👌👌

[@lilnbp35]

Lmao intelligent he started the show by saying that in the future we should use animals for sending messages because most animals don’t have a use they just sit around... there are so many things wrong with that 😂

[@pahsodium8675]

Can someone make a compilation of all Theo’s jokes that Joe missed

[@josephmccoy2329]

Pah Sodium i feel like it was the nick swardson 2.0 podcast

[@shrutefarms4741]

The first time Theo was on he literally missed every single one of his one liners or spoke right over it. Was sooooo frustrating. Joe just isn’t silly enough.

[@domonicwilliamson6451]

Lol “like nude jerksey “ hahaha

[@smsmllwd]

Darlene conner... shot milk out my nose

[@smsmllwd]

Toyota trucks and bacon too...

[@JesseAllenJr]

Love how Jamie cut to himself in the first 30 seconds because hes that dedicated to his job regardless of the fallout 🤣🤣 This will forever be a goated episode

[@jackhammer0925]

Theo is one of the funniest people I’ve ever heard . His timing and the random stuff he comes up with are borderline genius! One of my top 3 comedians

[@jackhammer0925]

K King little bit, been looking for new comedians besides bill burr and the like to watch. Randomly checked out this podcast then checked him out. Funny dude

[@tannerchopp2107]

He gets the golden ratio

[@kevingrayling5545]

Deffinetly.. I agree with u and he's my favorite actually

[@yesitsmecsd]

I first watched him on h3 podcast, guy had me cracking up the ENTIRE TIME!! I've now watched about 6 podcast with him as a guest and 5 or so of his own show...this guy is absolutely genius, in a goofy wtf kinda way!

[@thegreekdeal4747]

He reminds me of norm macdonald one of the few comedians that actually make me laugh out loud.

[@jonathonneale560]

Just lowkey drops the fact Stallone is coming on

[@FireMrshlBill]

Haha, ya. Hope it is relatively soon.

[@WhackashitCollaborations]

That was the highest of keys Linus Tech Tips kind of dropping of that news. What you talkin about Willis? Joe literally said it lol.

[@GeneralTHC]

No doubt. He's never had, and I don't how he could possibly ever have, a bigger celebrity.

[@gratefuldoge8598]

FireMrshlBill the guy from those avenger movies?

[@capatheist]

GeneralTHC Mel Gibson, lance armstrong, James hetfield, Steve Tyler, guy Richie, soon to be Kanye west..... and more I can’t think of off the top of my head...

[@shaggydudegaming]

One day Joe’s podcasts will be time capsules. If you are a fan now just imagine 20-30 years from now. It’ll be such a trip listening to these. Dear Lord I hope that the world goes in a good direction

[@antonialange949]

Yess

[@ryguy-qh2qk]

We are fucked

[@peeron6829]

@@ryguy-qh2qk yes

[@Rontlc3317]

We’ll b in heaven soon dude

[@jkarrhysaw]

Theo has what I like to call “southern sarcasm” 😂

[@kingryan69]

its actually annoying how many times Theos jokes go right over Joes head.

[@LunalovaniaGaming]

@The Deathless 😂👍

[@OGC558]

Is it possible Joe just doesnt find it that funny?

[@bughouseweirdo9595]

@@OGC558 joe is 500 times less funny than theo

[@stevekastner2825]

kingryan69 The jokes are not going over Joe’s head he just chooses not to respond to them because he’s having a different conversation the jokes are stupid

[@stevekastner2825]

Colby Kelley yes thank you and how many people on here didn’t get that

[@conradbarrett6]

Theo von looks like he could be the third character in beevis n butthead

[@itsGaleZ]

Conrad Schleicher lmaooo

[@ryanroland6426]

💯

[@pgorodiloff]

S

[@reptilianmachine]

9:09 almost died

[@johnathangarcia8138]

That might be the greatest description of Theo Von I've ever known

[@jayglamx3]

I love that Theo is just Theo. Nothing more, nothing less. Always just Theo.

[@tyroneshoelaces3251]

I just discovered this guy 😒 he's great. "I used to love being erect as a child". Who even says that? Love the things that fall out of this guy's mouth

[@vandavang7]

"let's go get some tinfoil" is an underrated line

[@ANANGRYCRACKR]

Theo: "What if semen could defy gravity? What do you think about that?" Joe: "I dont" Lmfao

[@93siguy]

tprigge0922 I wonder where he was going with that lol

[@jaxx0707]

LMAO yep Joe cracks me up cuz he'll cut u off in a NY second

[@Wandering_Chemist]

Ohhh shit we posted the same thing!! Yes! Love parallel thinking! That cracked me up too man! Literally made my day man! Glad someone else appreciated this as much as me! Love you brother, great minds!

[@mykmcgrane]

That jumped out at me as quotable too, lol

[@erdemmemisyazici3950]

I feel like Theo Von grew up to be 16 and said this is good, I don't need to change any more than this.

[@Scott-jj7sr]

Joe talks about stand up comedians like they’re a race of people lol

[@ItsKyleMang]

They are the supreme race.

[@XYourBest]

For all his talk about tribalism being the worst thing about humans he sure uses it to his advantage.

[@rubenvillarreal8485]

I feel u it’s annoying lol

[@MoneyHeistVisuals]

No Name I just think he has a different type of relationship with those people. Theo is a damn comedian and one of joes friends. Neil is a worldwide known scientist obviously things should be more serious between them.

[@Damiensissues]

its a validation thing. I love the podcast but joe takes every possible opportunity to speak as an authority/expert about stand up and also to indirectly put himself in the same category as the comedy greats and give himself an ego boost by subtly mentioning himself with the legends

[@danielmunter2636]

This dude is stupid funny! "An eleventh of a handful" 🤣🤣

[@Tyler-yq8hp]

Theo really said a peacock looks like a twink headed out for a night on the town. I am fuckinggg cryyyyying right now!😂

[@_VR_8]

Lmfaaooooo

[@jamarrogers2985]

​@@_VR_8☠️☠️☠️if that isn't descriptive enough....

[@tedphillips3119]

I spit all over myself when Theo asked if the evacuations were because of bees.

[@beastxcore1721]

Tedwardo Feliz so fucking random 💯🤣🤣

[@davesanny4069]

You can tell Theo is a top bloke, that mate you always enjoy hanging out with.

[@michaelanderson2385]

Hey this is America bro, don't fuckin say bloke cuckboy master-flex

[@davesanny4069]

@@michaelanderson2385 ummm duhhhahhhaaaa no worries bloke enjoy ur day bloke luv ya #Bloke

[@dumpc]

What the fuck lmaoooo @@michaelanderson2385

[@sulla175]

@@michaelanderson2385 I can't tell if you're joking or if you actually think the internet is also America.

[@shaneglover9583]

Michael Anderson are all Americans fuckwits like oneself?

[@jamesrelinski8853]

That young man is definitely bringing the mullet back. More power to ya son.

[@123mcgarrigle]

benadryl cabbagepatch - That young hitta gang gang.

[@MetalizedButt]

Mullet was blowing up again all over south korea earlier this year bruh look it up. Was there in April and everyone had a mullet.

[@llilly-lilith5116]

Through my prehiperal vision the end of your comment says "Mike tyson" lol

[@MrAlwaysRight]

It looks so good on him you don't even notice.

[@heedlessed7952]

Business in the front, Party in the back.

[@pallinagialla97]

I'm watching this in 2024 and it's incredible how things have changed in 5 years...

[@darnitthelma4247]

Same here!

[@henrytiffanyr]

I love how casually Theo Von brings up horribly traumatizing stuff and just glazes right on over it.

[@mialuvsmac1696]

pisces

[@RampClosed68]

@@mialuvsmac1696 shut

[@brazenellis4950]

joe: doing the rocky song theo: yea like make you want to hit your step dad!

[@PeterWFishing]

like pissing in a circle around his bed every night to the point where it would crystallize in the carpet like dang bro that’s heavy stuff if you think about it a little

[@jamesc8209]

@@mialuvsmac1696 Astrology is bullshit. The Earth moves similar to a spinning top, and the movement means the the constellations are in a completely different place every day and only re-align to the day every 25,800 years. In other words if Astrology was true, there'd be a difference by day within a 25,800 year period, not by month per year.

[@mingywantwingy1379]

Theo needs to be on every podcast

[@codyroberts9993]

He has is own check it out it's dope

[@beastxcore1721]

epic background comments

[@ianschmitt5669]

Jamie: “I think its salt” Theo: “I love salt” 17:50

[@Justinlifts365]

like who the fuck has ever said that😂

[@jonnnyonion]

😂😂

[@Alexander_Tronstad]

It's insane that this didn't get even a chuckle.

[@HereComeTheTrainComingBlues]

Thank you!

[@clamsoup]

Thank the powers for a long form podcast that's 4 years old on KZbin Joe and Theo? Yes!

[@derekpelotte1378]

Theo: It's spring Joe: It's the middle of January Theo: You're just not open minded By the end, Joe was getting it

[@dashiit1748]

Heres a video of Joe Rogan Forcing Mike Tyson to do Cocaine! kzbin.info/www/bejne/r2iaoGZogpV9ack It's Hilarious!

[@codyclarke8404]

Theo doesn't like owls because he's the Rat King🐀👑 Gang Gang

[@obbah1818]

That's the dark arts

[@Einstein0fRap]

#RatKingKingdom

[@barahng]

Good instincts, the owl is commonly used in illuminati/satanic symbolism.

[@lewis6590]

@@obbah1818 I got legit worried when Joe started steering the beginning of the podcast too far into the dark arts. Amniotic sac babies are maybe the darkest art I can think of.

[@Dave-mk9bw]

Do you think there's ghosts at the comedy store though?

[@xx-gd1gb]

Theo is so funny and just radiates happiness and good vibes

[@ingehaughommadsen6495]

Yeah... IF he gets to talk...

[@senorpepper3405]

hes a little out there

[@jameslutian1977]

Awesome dude, great talent. Rogan once again fucked up another great interview. It's getting old.

[@DONTOURAGETV]

“Is that Sheryl Swoopes ?” Theo is so random , but his references are on the money