Joey Diaz's Tales of Thievery | The Complete Collection

[@400medley]

"I would rob em just to let em know they were stupid... I will rob you just out of principle" HAHAHA

[@daylnroegner6744]

400medley Thats true tho with alot of people, fuck you leave money on the ceiling you asking for it!! Anyone

[@rjc7289]

In a backhanded sort of way, I can't blame Joey for doing what he did. If people are stupid with their money, they deserve to get screwed royally. He was a street kid and had to find a way to survive.

[@bamm86]

That’s how aaaaalll thieves think. Lol

[@bamm86]

Actually Na, that’s how all kids who grow up in a rough place think. Lol

[@jeffmolina8607]

I lived this shit as sad as it sounds. When he says if you left your window open I gotta go in. I understand that. I would rob my moms drug dealers started at 10 years old not proud but f it

[@henrynation9964]

He tells these stories so well that I forget he’s doing terrible things

[@EmperorMingg]

Definitely, it’s the Tony Soprano effect. We’re positioned to see him as not guilty because we’re seeing it through his lens, because we’re his fans and we’re automatically on his side.

[@johnguanciale258]

East coast shit

[@omartorres1119]

That how shit was u just soft

[@overFINEthousand]

I start rooting for the guy. Terrible. 😅😅

[@ziggiesaquaticexotics8270]

Abahahahaha

[@yungsorrow5896]

Lee: “I went through a shoplifting phase” Joey: “I robbed a Bar mitzvah once”

[@owen1737]

Wait aint that a jewish boye

[@yungsorrow7145]

My old account... got too fucked up nd lost my phone but I always keep a backup nd know my password for gmail 🤣✊

[@yungsorrow7145]

@@owen1737 lee is a jewish boy

[@can_you_help_me_find_her9456]

@@owen1737 lol yeah bar mitzvah is like the Jewish coming of age ceremony when they're around 13 years old. They give the boys large amounts of money as a gift, in an envelope, andd Joey robbed them of that. He tells the full story on the podcast.

[@can_you_help_me_find_her9456]

@@yungsorrow7145 he's talking about the bar mitzvah I think bro. He's asking if the bar mitzvah is a Jewish boy thing. I think you might already know that and you're just joking on Lee but I wanted to clarify that.

[@robbutler3902]

I love how when Joey tells a story, he'll put the people he's talking to as characters in his story. What a fantastic way to get people invested.

[@joeyboes7771]

This is such a good point

[@prodbymit]

@Marcus Robledo i don’t remember the time stamp but early on in the vid, but when he was talking about taking the sheets of tin off the soccer field thing. he says “me and you go out, just two of us” putting the other person into the story, even tho he wasn’t there to make it more immersive

[@prodbymit]

@Marcus Robledo 1:11:44 this timestamp also he does it

[@pigeon364105]

Tremendous

[@BlackKnight408]

“He bought it at a store so it didn’t belong to nobody”. 😂

[@raphighlights6127]

Joey Dias needs to be a character in GTA

[@GypcRiXh]

Rap Highlights all his missions deal in coke

[@robertgamble8066]

He was in the video game Mafia III, but yeah he should have a radio station on GTA

[@centralcalifornia6527]

He be a fucken doctor

[@patrickeakin7702]

He was a bad guy in Mafia 3

[@Wechosworld]

Yeah he's should be the new Ricardo Diaz for gta 6 vice City.

[@MrJintensive]

Joey is talking about when he robbed Lee's bar mitzvah and Lee doesn't even know it.

[@raimundosilva4382]

L p eu mostrando o creme dela para outro juiz pp Plcada lugar ela fala um clima diferente então eu pego mostrando a juíza juízo apresentando o creme dela para quando chegar no último dia ela não sabe explicar tudo aqueles aqueles que é assim que eu tô fazendo os crimes dele é o presente de para eles analisar o crime que ela tá fazendo contra mim e

[@raimundosilva4382]

Você pode ver que lá fora eu levei o crime desse para mostrapplevei o primo dele até para esquerda e direita para poder apresentar e registrar o clipe deles para analisar a forma do lá fora saber quem está sendo criminoso que tem que sair no escandaloso contra

[@raimundosilva4382]

eu tô mostrando os crimes dele no lugar rapaz rapaz eu tô mostrando a cena criminosa Deus para ele saber quem é os criminosos e quem é que está por trás ppela é uma juíza que está queimando destruindo todos os todos os promotores de Luiz ela tava destruindo ele sim então eu tô mostrando para todos eles que tipo de para depois eles caçarem tirar o diplomaeu moro no lugar no lugar para saber saber quem está faltando com respeitome mostre a presente para os clientes que ela faz e mostra para o tribunal vergonha que ela está representando o escândalo que ela tá fazendo

[@raimundosilva4382]

Cada cena que ela fala agora cada cena de crime que ela falar agora eu volto lá e apresenta para ele quem é quem está aí eles vão analisar o processo dela e vai ver que ela é a criminosa cada clínica era para ajeitar com outra mulher aí diferente eupara eles estão se unindo e analisar o caso do crime que está sendo caloso o crime que ela tá escandalizando o tá fazendo escândalo contra o próprio

[@raimundosilva4382]

P tu vai ficar toda essa cena e levando para ganhar a confiança dos promotores p eu ganho toda a confiança com juízes e promotores em tribunais que eu tô levando o crime que ela tô levando a honra na palavra junto com eles e tô levando a vergonha dela para

[@brentbishop5655]

7am with Uncle Joey and a wake and bake. Tremendous morning

[@beegpink-johnson6344]

Brent Bishop nothing will stop you pimp

[@SuperBanger12]

Tremendous

[@MrOnlyEdits]

Literally doing this right now and it's 7am lol

[@deimossaetana1518]

Fuck yeah dude 😂

[@outsideproductions]

FUCK YEAH

[@frost1947]

If Joey will admit to the things he's done I can only imagine what he won't admit to doing.

[@cameronpitcher4024]

This is true

[@Tonyisgaming]

@Disappointment Department You could just as easily say for every one there’s a hundred.

[@mdterpz532]

I never considered that, you're onto something with that one..I could only begin to imagine what all he keeps to himself..

[@ToneWoN]

@@Tonyisgaming he quoted Joey . Dumbass

[@darkknight_za]

This man said he #MeToo'd someone once... I have no doubt he's got at least one body

[@TarikCheeseman]

"I used to steal drinks at the bar" Joey: "i used to rob my janitor"😂

[@saita301]

LMFAO exactly this dude was trying to make himself seem like such a badass for stealing drinks. That I'm sure people had already drinking off of so you're not just getting alcohol you're getting saliva cigarette spit all type of herpes. If he's saying this as if it's impressive. Joey Diaz really has some tools on his show

[@DaltonSligh]

I love how whenever people ask Joey to explain something he just keeps telling his story

[@AkashSingh-mh6xm]

Everything I did between the age of 16 to 30 was a case - Joey Diaz

[@7205buttas]

His name should be Joey (everything I did between 16-29 was a case) Daiz

[@emilianoyaboi5911]

@@7205buttas😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@goldencheese7247]

Been listening for 7 years to him. Still not tired of all them stories, no matter how often I hear them. And I discovered Tony Benets "I wanna be around" - from the old "Lee kick this mule" days through him. Much love from Germany.

[@smarthandy2374]

Waaaaaaazzaaaaaaaaa

[@dandanmarano569]

Ha true it's like when your uncle tells you the same story over and over you just act like it's the first time your hearing it lol

[@New-ml3ip]

One of my favourite songs 👌

[@robraps3128]

First line “You ever clip a church Lee?” I was done here lmao.

[@scottdavis4388]

My pops said once” if I knew how much people donated to churches, I would have volunteered in high school to collect the money”. Dad knew the church was going to blow it anyways

[@sparkykiid100]

@@scottdavis4388 churches are the biggest money grabs going these days

[@jasonmarquez1618]

0:00 Bar Mitzvah 3:01 Joey Thief Security Expert 7:25 Victims leave notes 9:05 Stealing from Model Homes 13:23 Stolen Sandwich 20:26 Stripping tin with The Devil 25:12 Lumbar Job 27:28 Joey Self Reflection 30:11 Coke Target(s) 33:16 “Cookies” and Registers 35:41 Mr B and Jobs

[@jasonmarquez1618]

36:44 Vacuums 45:17 Ear Ringing Adrenaline 52:17 KEN 1:04:02 Victim Thanks Joey for Robbing Him 1:06:04 Victim Won’t Let It Go 1:11:44 Moving Credit Cards

[@cflo1386]

Lmao, this is great

[@jdamyadick3659]

Thank you 😂

[@hhhh-wv8fc]

Ur a g

[@brooklynkeith2877]

😆😆

[@brennanneino9796]

I really hope that at least one of those people he robbed is watching this and just figuring out it was Joey "I threw all the checks away" Diaz

[@PlutoTheGod]

Brennan Neino some 30 year old Jew siting in his room “MY FUCKING CHECKS? CMON BRO”

[@babylonian]

28:03 - 29:19 is genuinely one of the most beautiful things i’ve ever heard on a podcast, lol. and from Joey Diaz of all people!

[@darrylwayne1292]

Robert CoCo Frost over here

[@thehoodybadger3402]

Dead ass tho. Been there some years back when I was living on my own for the first time, alongside a personal dark period in life. My neighbor (who doubled as my dealer) would wake me up at 7AM by knocking on my front door with a lit blunt, sit on my floor mattress and just smoke me up while talking about whatever is on the mind; Those moments low key helped me to take shit into perspective and realize that that overpriced studio apartment was temporary as ever.

[@ericvega3597]

@@darrylwayne1292 Charles Schwab over here

[@Devin-xl9iz]

@@ericvega3597 so that's it? No compromise no leeway just stupid fucking jokes.

[@robertoremelli]

Ah, I see you are a man of culture as well, Nick.

[@kevinreay1510]

Listening to Joey Diaz sets my heart racing. He reminds me of all the shitty things I've done in my life and how nervous I was all the time. He tells it like it is. Funny, but not glamorous.

[@joshuataft5541]

Me too..I know this is an old comment but I hear ya Kevin..me too .I'm glad we got to live in the last generation like that..I never did anything bad but I was around alot of drugs and small town meathead junkies so I've seen alot but never was evil..we all see the light eventually..I'm no angel..I'd rather have stories than be boring..as a kid I always said that

[@Michel11.11]

Yeah, i love these stories i can relate to.

[@sparkykiid100]

@@joshuataft5541 yea exactly imagine living your whole life like a normal joe and having no crazy stories to tell at parties or your deathbed🙄 but we get looked down on for it and the people looking down are always the most depressed and angry peoples cause they have never experienced the stress relief you get from having some fun and breaking rules living life on the edge😏

[@joshuataft5541]

@@sparkykiid100 so true As long as its not over he edge...that's the tick... thanx for the comment

[@treybecker5637]

😢

[@dillonsnyder1172]

Joey is a phenomenon. This guy was a menace to society for years, but now he's just your blunt smoking uncle with the most hilarious stories you've ever heard

[@sparkykiid100]

Thats life goals most people will live life by working most of the time and doing absolutely nothing exciting just to pay off their mortgage then die😢

[@dillonsnyder1172]

@@sparkykiid100 Most will be lucky to get even that far, in this market with the way inflation is going, most are likely to default on their payments, have the bank seize their homes, fall into crushing debt, lose their families, get addicted to drugs and die early. 🙂 #Reality

[@eatassonthefirstdate]

bro imagine the debauchery with strippers n hookers that he experienced.

[@Charles-xy5jd]

Kinda unbelievable.

[@rubberchanclas]

For a person that has done almost every drug known to man, his memory is always on point! Gotta love Joey.

[@carlasalvatierra7959]

I can never get bored, by listening to Joe Diaz!

[@nicolegeorge9548]

Same 🙋🏻‍♀️

[@bimercatracho]

Someone's gonna put 2 and 2 together, remember uncle Joey and they gonna have a heart attack!!! Tremendous

[@naruto2635]

Joey “I used to mug my high school janitor” Diaz

[@robbutler3902]

Joey is such a good story teller. I swear he talks softer to draw you even further into his story

[@tdogg1824]

"It looked like 911" Had my ass dying laughing 😂

[@brodyharris7631]

I dig how all of Joey's guests respect him and are genuinely interested in his stories. That leads them to ask all of the questions and inquire about all the things I would want to ask Uncle Joey if I was blessed enough to sit next to him at The Church. Much Bless Uncle Joey and The Flying Jew.

[@areyoumybuddy]

Yeah Normally I'd Agree... But That Yuppie Schmuck Host Guy Seriously Can't Handle More Than like 5-10Seconds W/Out Making Some Sorta Noise Or Trying Tø Interrupt (Saying Something Totally Stupid Or Irrelevant) Even Just Repeating One Of The Words Joey Had Just Said. Anything Just Too Hear His Own Voice I'm Guessing He Was A Total Little Brat As A Kid. Because It's Obvious He Can't Handle Not Being The Center Of Attention.

[@maxdog5075]

"ill tell ya one of the sickest things ive ever done..." u kno its gonna be a killer story

[@gHenny.]

Joey “It was back in 1983” Diaz

[@froddobaggins]

Joey "It was the craziest thing, Joe Rogan" Diaz

[@froddobaggins]

@Tom Myers pretty sure most people doing it are high, so yes, it is very funny.

[@adrianroberts1469]

Frodo B. Your just copied it from one of probably millions of other comments just like it.

[@froddobaggins]

@Tom Myers Ok

[@spencerrw2988]

@Tom Myers you have to understand the reference to find it funny dumbass

[@Frendo9119]

The line "I'm putting suits on, I'm going into buildings" makes me lose it! I totally know that mindset.

[@chrisgutierrez358]

If biggie was alive him and Joey would probably go back n forth with stories like these

[@JacobC479]

Man I fuckin wish.. wish Big was here period

[@markl5998]

Yo... I got a story to tell...

[@badmaggotreaction5459]

I love this one. When he’s talking about even when you’re broke but you’re alright because you’re free and living your dream

[@mahgirbsti]

Joey and Lee podcasts are like a bad uncle teaching his nephew about life. Great stuff.

[@dangreen1565]

When Joey starts with "I used to work at a .....", put on your seatbelts for the story of him stealing big time. LOL!!!

[@youngadult5770]

Lee: “I went through a shoplifting faze”. Joey: “I robbed a bar mitzvah once.”

[@Blernster]

Phase

[@michaeldeleon2986]

“Fuck it what you gonna do there’s gotta be a victim there” this guy is on another level of climbing that bent ladder

[@pronate_official]

The statute if limitations is strong in this episode

[@nikolai6817]

IM WEAK BRUH

[@FirstnameLastname-ud7fg]

Xavier Young no it’s not

[@fattdamon1980]

@Xavier Young hahaha

[@lalilulelosnake2896]

@Xavier Young no its not a freaking statue bro tf lol

[@nathaniel311]

@Xavier Young dumbass

[@jaimejimenez4199]

I love you Joey. You explain your past, the way I do and I don’t really get laughs because I can still get in trouble for them. When I’m 36 I’ll unload all these stories

[@jaimejimenez4199]

Yupp

[@sparkykiid100]

Lived an exciting life unlike the depressed and bored normal person good for you salute🫡

[@chriscraven9335]

As guard in the mid 90s at a huge office building, I stole $70 in quarters from someone desk one night. About a week later, I found a "Fuck you, ASSHOLE! You have stolen from my grandchildren." note in the same desk. I actually felt bad for about five seconds.

[@lben1962]

lmao ffs

[@eatassonthefirstdate]

I mean, considering u were supposed to protect everything in that bldg, and stole from them, yea bro ur an ass hole. a chafed, gaping, swollen, just f__ked raw ass hole. ya Thats you bruh.

[@sadman7021]

I love how he goes “What are we talking about?” And then when he’s reminded immediately jumps back in a conversation. People usually say that because they’ve lost interest he actually just forgot when he was talking about. Lol.

[@OttoHIGHtower24]

The thought of Joey sneaking through the window like he’s a ninja is hilarious 🤣

[@DaniboyBR2]

I hate cameras because of privacy but you can't pull shit like that anymore, 10-20 years ago you could steal everything that wasn't bolted to the ground and if nobody saw you you got away with it, it was a different world.

[@smileyfacehuh]

Everything was fair game lol. Now camera on a fly shit out here. Shit crazy. Lol

[@AyoGrog]

This is kinda retarded

[@crossingthestreams1]

You gotta practice magic and get good at slight of hand now to get away with it these days.

[@m.j.8226]

Geoffrey Vanhees Wow quite a high stakes operation you’re running there

[@richariz7896]

you must be young still. Dude said 10 years ago lol there was cameras in 2010 dumbass

[@charliediaz2127]

Your podcast is addicting man you're great!! I'm 37 and wish I could hang with you and soak up all these stories and knowledge.. Keep on rocking it!!

[@Samtino20]

“Who would steal 30 pack lunches?” Chris Farley and Joey Diaz 😂😂😂😂😋

[@petesimone5295]

One of the things that amazes me the most about Coco is, when someone has an insane story, Coco unleashes a story that is related but even more insane. Not an insult by any means; he is one of the best storytellers of our time. I've watched countless hours of Coco as I'm sure most of you have and he never ceases to captivate me. #joeydiaz #leesyatt #madflavor

[@Bobbybentayga]

“I had 2 5’s, a 10 and 10 singles” lmaoooo it’s the details for me 😂😂

[@saita301]

Is it? Is that what it is for you? This generation 🙄

[@Bobbybentayga]

@@saita301 Did you feel better after leaving your comment? ✌️

[@bandana4814]

Where all my SOULJAS and DOCTAHS at??? Lol have a great week people! Salute to Uncle Joey and the flying jew!!! Thanks for uploading!!!!

[@brucedavis5269]

Thanks Mr. Joey Diaz, your stories are so great to listen to they make me feel like I am there in person living it. The craziness has such a humorous effect to make one realize how great it is to be a live. To never return to that lifestyle is nothing short of a miracle. You been blessed, to share the real treasures of the things you done with us is more than you could have ever imagined. Wow that is something to behold.

[@Optics21]

Joey"that's how crazy i was "diaz

[@clepsinator123]

Could listen to joey story telling for hours

[@jacobjorgensen729]

If I need to sleep, I take melatonin and choose a random place in this video to start from. Then I throw in my earbuds and drift to a peaceful slumber while giggling every once in a while. Idk if that’s a bad sign or not, but thank you Uncle Joey 🙏🏼

[@austindavid1862]

These stories are so entertaining I could never sleep to them lol

[@bananapineapple6949]

Same. This or Jordan P. Lectures.

[@The_Joker_]

Joey is giving a LOT of details. People hold grudges for life.

[@snoozethekidd]

I like how he calls subway “subway sandwich” that’s how u know he’s from the city where there’s two different type of subways lol

[@snakefinger]

“Stand by the brick wall, don’t move.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@MichaelDominguez25]

I miss these days of his podcast. Pre covid life, him and Lee had some great chemistry. They would go live at 7 am and be higher than kites on bud and mushrooms and it was tremendous to watch.

[@ybs_wavy8194]

Just casually admitting to hundreds of felonies misdemeanors 😂

[@ailbrown1000]

In the 70's and 80's

[@garbygarb31]

He could just say he's making it all up

[@J.W.Brogan]

He's making them all up.

[@burh8651]

Statute of limitations

[@No-ni4ru]

Its been years ago hes fine

[@MrSkarbek36]

Needed this new vid to smoke a nice L to. Shoutout Joey

[@ericvega3597]

What's an L

[@neinja6394]

@@ericvega3597 you stick 2 OCBs together so it forms an L. You then have an extended Joint if you roll it up

[@dimitrisolejak26]

Back in 70s there were also only short cigarette papers. You had to glue 2 together especially if it was the white ones that burn fast.

[@kevinOBryant1972]

@@dimitrisolejak26 I remember when zig zag came out wit them wide paper it was on

[@monolithe2812]

When Uncle Joey starts with "It was 1984" you know its going to be a good story.

[@brodyharris7631]

Damm. I just found this compilation. Well done Lee

[@gforcebreakin]

These stories will become a reenacted series one day for sure.

[@ScottZapp024]

I always know...it’s gonna be a good ass story when Joey starts out with 1 of 3 of these phrases.... 1. It was 1983 or 84 😂 2. Let me tell ya somethin 3. Hey so this is crazy listen listen... i was really fucked up and...

[@collinc101]

Not gonna lie I've been ripping with Joey for a minute and he still is like a kinda teddy bear when I get anxiety or can't sleep worried about this or that shit... listen to some tales of thievery or some Ralphie on the church. Used to listen to it in the car when I'd have anxiety and just be smooth sailing jack Especially all the stuff from his early childhood that's like a magic tale of classics. Eating big sandwiches with the torch imsorry i couldnt remember his real name at the moment. you know those were the most prime sandwiches anyone's ever ate Bless

[@collinc101]

Carmine Bolzano was his name

[@BallBatteryReligion]

Joey Diaz doing a southern accent talking about Ken is the funniest shit I've heard. I've never heard Joey impersonate someone before. I didn't know it'd be fucking hilarious.

[@eddunne4190]

Hello from Dublin Ireland 🇮🇪 I love the story about Ken tucky 😀😀😀

[@garbygarb31]

@@eddunne4190 Kentucky is a state.

[@eddunne4190]

@@garbygarb31 listen to the story & ul understand my comment.im well aware Kentucky is a state

[@lilmane1070]

@@garbygarb31 lol what made you think he didn’t know that?

[@AeronN7]

2 seconds in... Already dropped a like.

[@kmatt420]

I always come back to these stories! Love Joey and glad the church is back in session!

[@Whudup100]

Joey Diaz - "I am a Security Expert"

[@brodyharris7631]

🤣🤣🤣. 'And I was a grown man when I did that.' What a savage.

[@kswone1]

I love when Joe goes off on his rants and gets all excited/he's making sense but not making sense stumbling his words saying shit like, "The cool thing about kirby vacuums is it came in a fucking box." Or, "There was this this fucking Brief Case as a child but it can't say Double O Seven and shit." lol love it.

[@Conzore]

This might be the greatest collection of stories not turned into a movie. The detail is so vivid.

[@JustinLT212]

Broooo I was laughing before I even clicked the video 😂😂 mannnn the vid is 1 and a HALF FUCKING HOURS LONG 😂

[@KA-dx2kz]

This will never be complete

[@justfine77777]

The story about Ken from Kentucky is one of the best stories ever. 😆

[@jamesroboyle]

I’ve heard 2 versions of that story .

[@justfine77777]

@@jamesroboyle me too, and they are both good. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@tillertyler4383]

When Joey Diaz laughs it makes me want to laugh so much it’s so contagious

[@Tyler-cd9pi]

I love that Joey’s rapsheet is so long it takes an hour and a half just to scratch the surface

[@dilloncrain9111]

Bro the vacuum story from Theo is so funnyyyy 😂🤣 "that's the thing with people who steak vacuum's, they don't think you'll remember that they stole your vacuum."

[@banginonfools1570]

Good googily moogily

[@yhyhcalmg]

That thang is juicy

[@executiveoutcomesUSA]

The guest saying “right” & “ya” after each of Joey’s rants 🎉😂

[@mattgosling2657]

It's very true what joey says about crime these days, cameras and other technologies make it really hard to get away with stuff. Its easier to just get a job now unless you don't mind going to prison.

[@Thatshowitsdone619]

Lee: I used to steal drinks from the bar when the bartender wasn't looking. Joey D: "I used to mug the school janitor!" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jamesdarmody2734]

The way he says I’m gonna go to hell for these things at 1:11:34 😂😂😂 the acceptance of it is priceless

[@HandMade715]

That is my comment he'll for Joey and he accepts it sad

[@1-gz7xy]

​@@HandMade715at least he told the truth let God decide what happens

[@HandMade715]

@@1-gz7xy okay he's the real judge

[@nikbrickkbsgaming4117]

Someone needs to make a movie about Joey's life staring Jonah hill and directed by Scorsese you could call it "sticky fingers"

[@sandrostaub5991]

felipe as joey would be fitting too

[@pitbossea]

“Uncle Joey”

[@Mostturntyae]

Joey wasn’t fat as a teenager or 20/30s

[@buyerenogurlfwendo2106]

With Charlie Day playing Sticky Charlie 💀

[@buyerenogurlfwendo2106]

@@MostturntyaeJonah Hill can lose weight

[@marvininabox]

Joey is what happens when you spec entirely into sneak, speech, and luck

[@jackmehoffe9372]

Hahahaha

[@dominicsantiagodelavega4306]

fallout

[@1-gz7xy]

Morrwind, oblivion, Skyrim. Haha so true even my own speechcraft has increased from everything I've learned from joey honestly in my real life God bless em

[@jakespicer4354]

We used to steal beers off the bar. Joey: that's crazy. I used to rob my high school janitor 😂

[@katekavanagh8247]

This man has a place in the great gig in the sky. He’s a great honest guy I take JD over ten percent of priests. If he was a priest the church would be packed with normal people

[@dirtysok9856]

He’s honest now but definitely not back then lmao

[@jacktrippa9048]

Lee said Why don’t you leave him a note back haha got you again 😂😂😂

[@killernp1317]

This guy has the absolute best stories

[@blackmamba3021]

“Ima go to hell for those things but who gives a fuck you gotta have a good time” best fucking quote of all time

[@inExcess14]

Joey’s resume must be insane

[@alldetected3106]

I love that he doesn't regret what he did but understands that he probably shouldn't have done it.

[@Mrsmas110]

I love this so much. I'm flying through my assingments listening to uncle Joey. 🖤🙌

[@bennybratsch]

Theo begins the tale of the vacuum thief as the oddest of thievery and later addresses the thief as one of the most common in his day, fuckin genius.

[@SuspiciousGanymede]

I hit the bong and this appeared. I wonder what happens when i hit it again?

[@SteelKicker01]

same

[@Kw-sv2mo]

While your hitting that next bong joey diaz while be behind you robbing your toaster and microwave.......

[@agustinmiranda869]

K w and prob your bong

[@jessieb9384]

A bag of Cheetos will appear

[@theamazingspiderwuss4236]

Christopher Rodriguez next time you blink, you are somehow on the Church with your own episode

[@chriscg4]

Thanks for this. Anytime my anxiety takes over I listen to this and I can't stop laughing. Thank you

[@donovanbedwell4711]

Dude, he is the funniest crook ever. I love his tales of debauchery.

[@completesentences2125]

I’ve listened to each of these stories at least 4 times and I swear, every time the guest is a different guy but he has the same exact voice.

[@matthewsmith1572]

Lmao..Those old vacuums weren't no joke i grew up with one from like the 50s where u could fix every part of no problem instead of buying a new one & it worked better than the new ones anyway

[@marcpell133]

Ever used a Dyson? Those things are incredible.

[@ButterBallTheOpossum]

@@marcpell133 Dysons are over-engineered and made of plastic. They are made to be unfixable

[@masturcheef105]

I bought a beat to shit dyson ball used for like $40 and it hasn't missed a spot in the 20 hours I must've put on it since.

[@KenobiStark1]

Every time Joey talks about being on the road in a hotel relaxing, eating crackers, watching a dope movie/show. That was always how I felt after a great show, really appreciating that you’re not at work, you’re not at home, you are on the road with purpose, and you get to do it again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day. Fuck I miss touring.

[@RICHERTHANTHEOPPS]

who da fook is this guy😂

[@russellmessenbird6859]

Joey need a Netflix show.

[@dimitrisolejak26]

Tales of thievery would be a good title right?

[@jameshoch9632]

Joey is possibly the greatest story teller

[@kevinOBryant1972]

I got good ones too left home at 15 and took my 14 yr sister wit me that day I bought a trailer for us and the guy I worked for sold me hooked up water and electricity and I bought a mustang and it was on at night time we used to steal diamond head drill bits

[@theHusHfleamarket]

one and a half hours of joey diaz telling stories that start with “this is one of the most horrible things i’ve ever done” 😂😂

[@VB-qk7cd]

“Someone HAD to do it” 😂