Joey Diaz Tells the Story that Almost Hospitalized Tom Segura - Joe Rogan

[@choiceismine]

When Joey is telling a story and says "Joe Rogan" I know its about to be a good one..

[@chrispena8186]

For real lol.

[@Cadorkis]

Hahahaaa true that

[@BuggyChokeTheWorld]

Blitz and they’re all good

[@kristyhughes3146]

Exactly!

[@monkeyrevolution1964]

Monkey of Brazil Pray for a better world kzbin.info/www/bejne/nYGZimNpfs-kabc

[@ReegusReever]

When Joey opens his sentence with a location and year, you know something good is coming.

[@Novastar.SaberCombat]

"Lemme tell ya, Joe Rogan..." You KNOW it's gonna be a tale when he uses his full name, hahahahah #zookalaminkia

[@AddictofFilm]

mate i'm in tears...Diaz kills me

[@odogtheownerofthelot]

Boulda 1982 I was snorting blow with a hooka

[@josezepeda4170]

Absolutely

[@waslostboygiovanni]

😂true

[@UmarKhan-su1vv]

“Show me the monkey” bro ive never laughed like this in my life. I laughed my soul out on this one.

[@rainstand2772]

I have that in my head lol

[@saltyninja]

It was spotless Umar....SPOTLESS.

[@danf8047]

one of the best lines ever... Joey Diaz drops these little gems here and there all the time LOL

[@carsonholton3819]

Same

[@5thgen691]

I seen this live, memories man

[@michaelwhalen4072]

"She nearly stunk" that's a shirt that he needs to sell

[@terrellgrant1570]

👍🏿 😂😂😂😂

[@Ari-rp6pq]

And “sukalamink” 😂

[@boostedb18b14]

Hahhaqhqh

[@Ali-ro2vv117]

“Show me the monkey” would sell pretty well too 😂

[@nickgarcia610]

You have to add the second part that’s what makes it. “I ate it” 💀💀💀

[@ironman4122]

I saw Joey live once and I legitimately didn’t stop laughing for an hour. I was in pain after, tremendous!

[@JacobC479]

Lucky you.. one of my goals is to see Joey live but I'm afraid it's not gonna happen.

[@miguelrivero317]

I saw him The Miami Improv decades ago. He was the feature. Jimmy Fallon was the surprise guest. Coco put on a hell of a show!

[@mattmattix2598]

Did he talk about drugs and lie about everything?

[@harold3165]

His live stand-up really isn't that good. He's much funnier on podcasts.

[@porkypk2677]

@@harold3165 agreed

[@bobblehead67]

Joe "Joe Rogan" Rogan

[@RoJo02]

Fuck! Why the hell did this make me laugh?

[@MrAngusyoungistheman]

Joe “Joe ‘Joe Rogan’ Rogan” Rogan

[@jobelthirty1294]

@@MrAngusyoungistheman Fuck me, this is advanced.

[@Viro27109onta]

joe "joe" rogan

[@BleuFire50]

Joe "please don't call me Joe "Joe Rogan" Rogan" Rogan

[@Dr.Ruben310]

"It nearly stunk , I ate it".

[@jayjacobo5430]

@Danger Bear lmmmaaoo

[@jmilliolapuertorriqueno9559]

If it smell like cologne leave it alone, if it smells like fish eat all you wish

[@badapdose89]

If it smells like fish, eat it like a dish. Stupidest saying man has ever spoken.

[@The_dude94]

@@badapdose89 not really though... If it smells like cologne she's most likely covering up something rancid. I say if it smells like fish or cologne leave it alone but if it smells like soap go to town on it!

[@anchorbubba]

@@The_dude94 id rather it just smell like puss

[@kgeneralissimo1213]

Let it be known that Joey Diaz is the greatest story teller to ever live.

[@Tikimohn]

Hard for me to agree cuz of Pryor... Hard for me to disagree cuz uncle joey tells a funny fucking story.

[@emilywestguard1085]

Jesus has returned cocksucker

[@McElwainLovesSharks]

Let me tell you something General Issimo….

[@jimevans1112]

Some guy pimpin his gorgeous young wife out. Wtf this is funny?

[@IvanKiselyvov]

@@Tikimohn pryor is GREAT, but i think as a story teller Joey takes the W.

[@VinoSong]

Sookalamink

[@cjmartin8925]

Mink juice 😂😂😂

[@patrykcetnarski8068]

🤌🏻😂😂

[@BruceWayne-yx8bx]

Chupa

[@coltonburge1450]

I come back from time to time to rewatch this gem. I swear this is up there with one if his best stories...

[@wenegu]

i have this shit on my playlist man .....always come back when im felling a little down or sad . to me a sociopath like tom lose it its something imo .

[@RussTeeTrombone]

Every few months

[@evelynrobbins9942]

Same... His tampon story is so funny 🤣 "like a tongue at the haunted house blaaah" 😛 lol😭

[@LE0NSKA]

I love the realisation on Toms face that he'll hear that shit again. 0:48 "oh god, he remembers, here it comes again"

[@brandonobrien3239]

Was literally trying to mentally prepare himself😂😂😂

[@josetrejo1431]

That's the look of marijuana

[@mikeeaston4431]

@@josetrejo1431 no

[@nelsonchike4812]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[@dante666jt]

Flashbacks of a near death experience

[@captainslapaho1]

Tom laughing at horrible things kills me

[@nishidaninja4207]

captainslapaho1 you see his reaction to the asian guy getting banged in the garage? His wife is horrified but tommy buns dies crying every time😂😂 makes me almost piss myself to hear him laugh so hard😂😂😂😂

[@christianvance1614]

Tom laughing makes me laugh more

[@kamyar1990]

Christian Vance lol same

[@danwahler8652]

Love it too lol

[@aduarte8057]

captainslapaho1 he was the one laughing his ass off during the Susie Snorebush story right?

[@christianvennemann9008]

The ULTIMATE "Try Not to Laugh" Challenge: Listening to Joey Diaz talk about ANYTHING.

[@brennandenardi7580]

Christian Vennemann the way he uses body motion to tell stories is funny asf

[@dennybillings8188]

That guy is a heart attack ...his story's are better then his comedy..he's hilarious

[@bradcamillo1966]

fat drug addict aint funny at all.

[@bradcamillo1966]

@Poppa Jacks looks like you old fat dude

[@jaybird-oi1te]

Christian Vennemann very true ! He’s the new Rodney Dangerfield

[@xMaZi100]

Tom quietly dying of laughter whilst Joey tells the horrific story is the best part

[@jokerproduction]

Did Tom laugh more at this or when he found out how much Kool Aid Bert drinks?

[@locoplayita4204]

i think here , but in both he died xd

[@blacksparxdadon]

Yo joker i always wondered, what does "slunts" actually mean? I used to think you were saying "slutts" at first lol. I'd love to finally know the answer to this question.

[@lowrng3672]

Kool-aid

[@landondow]

Definitely a close race, and 2 EXTREMELY different topics to 😂

[@trustedflow9288]

I think the kool-aid did it for him really.

[@cb-9938]

I love how joey doesn't know what story it was but as soon as tom starts explaining he remembers right away and just start going into the story

[@khazimlamboniswa6490]

thats when you know a story is real

[@TheHehe1223]

Tom dying laughing while Joey tells the story is hilarious

[@albertgein3082]

Joe's in another world

[@mic7able]

Joey was 410lbs back then... $25 of that $40 was a finders fee.

[@danielclark-hughes692]

Mick G. You win! That comment is gold

[@popslookoverme4884]

Mick G. Ahh-haaahahaha

[@michaelbryant8757]

BAHAHAHAHAHhahahaahahahahAHHAHHAAAHAHAAA

[@marciosinotti4651]

Hahahahaha

[@erikpuckett7485]

Nice touch

[@Milan_N13]

''Show me the Monkey'' ''Suckalamink" its been 4 years and I'm still laughing

[@Aaron-qg7dz]

I just heard this story for the first time yesterday and it took me 10 minutes just to regain my composure from laughing.

[@Milan_N13]

@@Aaron-qg7dz I feel u man, this story is legendary.

[@JoeyTheSinic]

To this day, years later. I still go back and watch these episodes while high AF and laugh til I’m crying. Seriously perma smile when i hear Joey telling stories

[@Jboy19881]

We were in a blessed time. 😂

[@terrellgrant1570]

Literally doing this 😂😂😂😂

[@JoeyTheSinic]

@@terrellgrant1570 i still watch these videos. Ive heard the story so many times. Still gets me.

[@terrellgrant1570]

@@JoeyTheSinic 👍🏿

[@999predators]

"He's got rules" Lmao Joe is on another planet

[@toribliss32]

Stars of death probably 🤣

[@noahmoore6513]

A line in the sand

[@guneyguncikan]

Tom Segura's laugh makes this x100 better

[@jonathanlamont853]

0:50 Tom realised Joey was telling the correct story....and that he was going to laugh hard again!!

[@dylmwidner]

Jonathan Lamont he’s thinking “goddammit not again”

[@TheSpritz0]

I caught that too!!!

[@chosenArchitec]

had to move the mic away

[@Jaysus777Live]

Had to mentally and physically prepare himself lol

[@janpavel1441]

it was almost as bad as that one time when Brent started talking about his kool aid intake like a kid raving about his soccer match to his uncaring parents

[@nickpomplon5972]

Lost count of how many times I've come back to this damn video the past couple years. Joey's stories are just on a completely different level, and he tells them funnier than anyone else could

[@nachomansandyravage2346]

I revisit this story from time to time and still laugh my ass off. Uncle Joey is the best 👌

[@diogenes.]

Just did , he's like the godfather, everytime you watch again it gets more epic 😊

[@terrellgrant1570]

Yes especially when I’m having a bad day like today 😂😂😂😂😂

[@finishercar]

"I'm overstimulated" breaks me every time

[@michaelpascarelli6155]

0

[@ryaneld796]

Lol yo same 😂🤣

[@roryvonmeyer2643]

0:48 is gold. When Tom realizes what he just set in motion, and he genuinely does not know if he will survive the retelling

[@garrettrutkowski9430]

“Is that stuff true?” “Yeah” “Show me the monkey”

[@ghoulbeans1997]

It was spotless, it nearly stunk. I ate it

[@dupes6248]

The way Uncle Joey calmly and casually calls it a "cute little town" before talking about the lewdist shit is priceless!! Years later and I still have to come back and listen to this story from time to time just to die ☠️🤣. Uncle joey will forever be a national treasure 🖤

[@DudeWithTheFro1]

That might be my favorite when he says cute lil town in Tennessee 😂 which I think is different from Knoxville

[@adammander7108]

When ever I’m feeling a bit down I always put this in to pick me back up again with laughter 😂

[@jamescampbell8534]

I need the cartoon of this lmao

[@eappleford]

you want a cartoon of a young bitch getting pimped?

[@jamescampbell8534]

Elliott Appleford yes

[@burntrubberballs]

anonymous with audio

[@tkstorm33]

James Campbell I was thinking the same thing

[@Kalivermore925]

This definitely needs a JRE toon 😂😂

[@MIKEHUNT-vi8hx]

Am I the only one who wants a permanent Joey Diaz ear piece in my head at all times?

[@travislazenby6797]

He'd be great for a GPS voice.

[@conr16]

I'd love Joey to be an airplane pilot, "Buckle your seatbelts momos we're in for a bumpy ride".. Lee could walk up and down anxiously asking people if they want anything to eat or drink

[@Afineaddition]

conr16 he’ll be stoned out of his fucking mind

[@Nukappi]

@@travislazenby6797 “Turn right in 1/2 a mile, cocksucka”

[@Ken-pv9zu]

She nearly stunk.

[@lastnamefirstname9043]

"I ate it"

[@albertgein3082]

Joey " I Ate it" diaz

[@jonsnipe5484]

😂😂😂😂

[@Maisky15]

I heard this story two years ago. I remembered again and started laughing randomly last night and couldn't stop for an hour. Genius.

[@Ybf-carl420]

I love how Tom mentally prepares as soon as Joey starts the story lmao

[@crowingpigog7182]

The way joe at 2:28 just shuts down for a second hahahaha

[@SeriousBeats]

LOLLLLLL

[@undercoverboss543]

Humanoid?

[@carloscjr23]

Thats the kind of weed I want, that puts me in stand by mode.

[@yourmother3207]

Lmao I got a secondhand high from this vid

[@JohnwayneNOgacy]

The fact that you got the exact time stamp is impeccable.

[@BFMVFOLIFE]

One of my favorite part of the podcast is when he gets his friends together get high and joke around. I don't know why people hate on it

[@CloudyShinobi]

Cooper seriously, everyone loves it, hence why it’s the most successful podcast in the world

[@Kalivermore925]

No he’s right there’s people that complain about not having interesting guests and only hearing joe talk shit with his friends

[@princevegeta6236]

Oh boy you got your answer probably by now.

[@nomadjensen8276]

Because those haters are dumbasses and are jealous that they haven't had half of the experience in life that Joey has. I mean he has banged some swanky broads I'm sure but being a coke dealer you know he has tapped some out of his league pussy and the haters haven't. They just jelly, someone should call the jelly school.

[@triippy...6476]

Yeah people don't look at Rogan as a stand up comedian, they look to him as a modern Howard Stern who from time to time, brings informative guests on his show. The best Rogan is the Rogan with Joey and Tom, Theo Von, all them

[@hyperionman420]

2:28 3:14 Joe is absolutely stoned to the bone lmfao

[@gleez1614]

Handsome Jack thought he fell asleep at 2:28 😂

[@Billyshears1909]

I’m still mad at you for killing Roland

[@Padraig4444]

You forgot 2:16 😅

[@EvoxityTalks]

Roman Lopez for real bro that hatred runs deep, loved jack as a villain hands down best imo for a game but fuck why like that

[@yourmother3207]

4:08

[@Monsterpaw..]

“I’m over stimulated” best part 😂

[@flying_nimbus7852]

6:40 bro...the way Uncle Joey moved across the screen had me rollin lol

[@ShowsCaleb]

Holllly fuuuck that was hilarious

[@Iunio92]

tom's laugh is amazing

[@andrewt836]

Iunio92 Bikes!

[@jwizdum2103]

“It nearly stunk” gets me every time 😂😂😂

[@BruceWayne-yx8bx]

' I ate it '

[@jammiiee]

'And she'd be in the back sooka la minkia' Hahaha!

[@brandenapexo604]

Suckin my shit

[@doeyjiaz4798]

Mienia bro!

[@DE85UK]

Branden apexo Is

[@francismosconi857]

Minchia means dick or fuck

[@davidec.4021]

Minchia means dick, and nothing else (and it’s spelled minchia)

[@N1ckSmith]

6:17 “and she dropped behind the curtain, took the hammer out” I’ve never laughed so hard in my life

[@corporalclegg914]

my Lord. Diaz is never a dull moment. I bet he’s the most sincere pal that many comics actually have.

[@Operator153]

“Show me the monkey” should’ve been my yearbook quote

[@beansntoast]

Yeah, hindsight is 20/20

[@milosmilojevic5284]

"Show me da 🐵"

[@stipe_ramo]

3:14 Joe fighting for his life LMFAO

[@yourmother3207]

The devil was sitting right next to him, joey saved his life

[@DecimatedSoul]

Holy fuck he really is🤣🤣

[@MarcoBoneMan]

lmao he is physically unable to react to the story

[@Behel1t]

Joe is so high here I think

[@balancebreaker1561]

​@@Behel1t you think? 🤣

[@basedgigachad6606]

3:14 JOE’S FACE IM CRYING BRO 🤣🤣🤣

[@BlaineTM]

Tom's reaction at 6:55 is me anytime I watch a podcast with Joey Diaz.

[@luigigrazioli92]

as an italian, was listening casually while doing some work and than i hear joey say "suca la minchia" - almost died of laughter on the spot

[@persona7056]

La maniera in cui l'ha detto fa capire che non è italiano ma ha imparato due o tre parole, fantastico

[@nationalgeo2191]

@@persona7056 so true

[@colebrooks5577]

I pulled this video up to my Italian father just to hear him hear Joey say that

[@Auggie_warriorofchrist]

Joey is the best story teller I’ve ever heard! Love that man.

[@lockandloadlikehell]

that sucked

[@mccrackendylancody3505]

He is good. A tremendous liar as well

[@MegaLaban12345]

"I'm overstimulated" 6:54

[@rikthegreat2918]

Joey is the best comedian-story teller he is just hilarious 😂

[@PaulyM856]

3:26 It's the silent wheeze laughs that are the most deadly.

[@sissyofFreemont]

Watching stoned people laugh and giggle is just so heartwarming and makes me so damn happy.

[@Chuck-PK]

God bless you Shirley, wherever you are.

[@tommyguglielmo1194]

2:33 joey was about to say crackpipe no doubt. hes hilarious

[@YonyGut1MakesMetalCovers]

5:56 "and she'd be in the back sooka la mink"... And that's where, my friends, I could feel a lung coming out of my mouth... 🤣🤣🤣

[@thehumorplug]

this is my 349th time watching this since 2017... and still counting. i cant get enough of JOEY!

[@miteshbalrup7149]

There will NEVER be any Joey Diaz.. That man is a living legend 🙏❤️

[@MalabarTheGreat]

Joey seriously should play a CGI cartoon character. Imagine hearing him in a Dreamworks movie.

[@bobloerakker7010]

What about gta?

[@agustinetchegoyhen8875]

The best part at 4:10 when Tom Segura says "You think that's crazy?". That's what I call a sense of humor.

[@yourmother3207]

Theyre so high lmao

[@BrolyLSSJ01]

Joe was fuckin barbecued

[@sampson1980]

2:58 when tom laughs i lose it everytime 😂🤣

[@seankiesling2054]

Yes, I enjoy dark humor as much as anyone.. but he said this chick was 21 she was CLEARLY being sex trafficked and theyre dyinggggg about it.. this was extremely depressing

[@sampson1980]

@@seankiesling2054 now that you put it like that i can see why. Hope its not the case

[@seankiesling2054]

@@sampson1980 lol it was definitely the case lol

[@ree4ermadne55]

"I'm over stimulated, I feel like I need psychiatric treatment." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💀

[@benjamin3813]

Best Podcast yet... Joey's shit stories were epic...

[@zyourzgrandzmaz]

Don't talk about him in the past hence you fuck, what're you trying to do curse him with ya voodoo. His shit stories "ARE" great.. and will be for years to come #joeyforever

[@NahImBats]

A Fancy Cow I thought he died or some shit man. I almost shed a tear.

[@NahImBats]

FUCK😣😣

[@VonTaylan]

dude i died at that part. Greetz from Holland 😉

[@vmunoz1]

Benjamin dude the changing flavors joke had me crying

[@markjones4358]

"He only wanted the 40 dollars...I didn't give it to him!". HILARIOUS

[@Hamzoloo]

Joey has me in tears every time he's on JRE

[@wrenlinwhitelight3007]

Joey Diaz is simply the pinnacle of human greatness.

[@michaelklock422]

This story has consistently put a smile on my face for years

[@RenNewton]

🤣

[@wisergreener7394]

Not the world of comedy...the world of Joey Diaz...best storyteller ever!

[@Mikol_Billy]

God I love when Joey addresses Joe as “Joe Rogan”

[@mrzed2349]

Joe is absolutely fried

[@bambus_ross]

"Show me the monkey" and "it nearly stunk" is forever imbedded in my brain.

[@AudibleVisibIe]

"it nearly stunk" is fuckin wild 😂

[@99st9]

2:29 never seen joe so high before 😂😂😂 on another planet

[@Charlie1993ohio]

S T acid

[@yourmother3207]

If joey wasnt there telling stories joe would've disintegrated and teleported to the 4th dimension

[@ryand4533]

I love how Joey always calls his best friend by his entire name lololol “you know Joe Rogan”

[@angelis973]

That’s when you know story is going to be good 😂😂😂

[@87Jaws]

It's like joe and joey are long lost brothers catching up on they're life's by telling crazy stories

[@rainstand2772]

“Show me the monkey” “I want my 40 dollars!”

[@evanabbott2737]

“This is the world of comedy, ladies and gentlemen!”👍

[@demibasan1714]

„clapping and cheering she was suka la mink“

[@sdefuite5477]

Ya gotta love Joey Diaz. I don’t care how bad your day is listening to one of his funny stories will change it for you.

[@Supermonkey1987]

"took the hammer out and started sucalamink" LMAO 😂🤣😂🤣

[@stipe_ramo]

2:16 Joe is purely destroyed hahahah

[@ericcolacino1825]

2:28 holy shit he's gone lol

[@erickvasquez1147]

3:13

[@bracero27]

He’s fighting for his life! 😂😂😂😂😂 ZOMBIE MODE!

[@lukenukem2441]

Segura absolutely dying in the background makes it for me

[@adammander7108]

Please joe bring Tom and joey back on together we need more of these stories 😂😂

[@crazyjoedavola5430]

This would make the perfect JRE cartoon...I can see it now

[@chrispena8186]

It'd be extremely dirty. I don't think KZbin would allow it lol.

[@raytheshredgod6987]

Crazy Joe Davola do you actually listen to the misfits or are you a poser?

[@crazyjoedavola5430]

@@raytheshredgod6987 - I've been listening to Misfits since I was 13....I'm 43 now. No, I'm not a poser. I wore a Misfits t-shirt yesterday. I can recite all the Danzig era lyrics from my head, I've listened to them so much for so many years...

[@raytheshredgod6987]

Crazy Joe Davola thank god I hate posers. I saw the misfits at msg and met Jerry only. Me and my friend are the only kids in my whole school who actually listen to the band. I also love Danzig and Doyle’s solo band(I’m seeing them soon and hope to meet Doyle). What are your thoughts on the Michale graves era of the band?

[@crazyjoedavola5430]

@@raytheshredgod6987 - That's cool man, would be killer to meet them and to have seen them live. I don't really have an opinion on that era....I've never listened to it. There's no certain reason really, but I've only listened to the Danzig era. I really liked that time alot and just didn't want to tarnish it. Danzig Misfits are my teenage years in a nutshell and I'm really nostalgic about it. I'll get around to it one day though....

[@Jex2112]

I am still waiting for my 40 dollars!

[@michaelnguyen8782]

Tom is in the best situation, when you get to hear a funny story again so you're preparing for the details and preparing to laugh again ahahah

[@devinsilva2102]

6:36 him shifting left to right all im thinking is “hammer time, ohhh ohh ohhh.” Has me dead 😂

[@pacohernandez1165]

Tom : "I don't think i ever laughed as hard" Oh boy, wait until he finds out that Bert drinks a gallon of red kool aid

[@ericlofstrand]

Who cares if he embellishes stories, that's why it's funny

[@psp05]

2:46 on repeat

[@chrispena8186]

HAHAHAHA I'm with you in that.

[@MrDavo511]

2:29 “Joe.exe has stopped working”

[@user-nx4el1vo7o]

7:03 best line

[@gepardguettajayt7013]

YES😂😂😂❤❤

[@PatriciaBurns-ym4wo]

Hahaha Yes 😂♥️

[@Visionarymindstudios]

This is probably one of my top 3 favorite KZbin videos

[@chriscollas2754]

This is literally one of the best things on the internet.Tom at 2:55 is hilarious and Joe at 3:13 is fucking BBQ'd.

[@WhiskeyTango68]

Joe is on another planet in this one, haha.

[@aleksandarzoric3782]

"This is the world of comedy ladies and gentlemen" - Joey Diaz

[@design1of470]

2:28 this laugh that Tom does

[@aledagaro8075]

As an Italian, i confirm that it's the right translation. Love you Joeeeeeeeeeeeeey