John Stamos Was Bullied For His Looks | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 209

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On this episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave, John Stamos joins Bert to talk about fame, getting sober, and The Beach Boys. Stamos also opens up about being bullied for his looks and the loss of Bob Saget. The two discuss Don Rickles, the Olsen twins, burning bridges, and the importance of giving it your all. Other topics include: General Hospital, Howard Stern, and family. Tom comes up quite a bit, as well. John’s new book is available now and it sounds like there are a lot of crazy stories in it. Check it out!
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KZbin Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:02:03 - Fame
00:13:51 - Howard Stern & Bert's Family
00:21:15 - Don Rickles & The Rat Pack
00:25:44 - John & Bert's Parents
00:37:36 - Paid Work & Podcasting
00:42:50 - Drinking
00:48:06 - The Beach Boys & Famous Musicians
00:56:38 - Giving It Your All
01:04:47 - Drinking & Being Bullied
01:10:03 - It's All Greek
01:17:07 - Bob Saget
01:25:54 - Olsen Twins & Sisters
01:30:29 - Sammy Davis Jr.
01:36:08 - Burning Bridges & Wives
01:47:03 - Theme Parks
01:50:35 - Late Night & Stand Up
01:59:17 - No Regrets

[@KidBaklava504]

Just two chill sober guys having a chill sober conversation.

[@hollymartin4717]

🤣

[@davidevensende]

best one lol dead

[@LiveForFreedom777]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@mattm6178]

hilarious. :))

[@FragranceEuphoria]

Haven't finished this podcast yet. But I could of sworn Stamos said recently on another podcast that he used to struggle with drug addiction but that now he is sober.

[@JAndersen22222]

The funniest part about this is they actually released it

[@michael3448]

lmao

[@fallingawake2092]

Lmao

[@jdo82]

Seriously, I made it 5 minutes in and was thinking someone's getting fired after this.

[@vxcorwinxv]

I honestly am surprised that this video is still up.

[@TooBadBro3921]

They put that iced coffee in front of Stamos and he was like b-b-brother I am SET.

[@jameswatkins656]

😂😂😂

[@jdo82]

Lmao, the first funny comment!

[@shannonfeaster6394]

I love that Stamos kept trying to be a heartthrob to all of Berts female relatives - Mom: "Lets call her", daughter(s): "lets call them", LeeAnn: "Lets bring her in"

[@justintanner3534]

Im like 3 minutes into this episode and john stamos is very obviously on copious amounts of cocaine. Respect.

[@goosehadley4434]

Takes one to know one, and I agree!!

[@Bittamin]

Could me 30mg IR Addy as well. I haven’t caught a bathroom break/cut yet 😅

[@robdubent]

@@Bittamin nah this is cocaine. He’s clearing his throat and sniffing constantly, working his jaw, etc

[@YourDadsYoutube]

I was at about 2 mins and had to check the comments. Yep, verified lol

[@keithmerchant8035]

Uhhhh hunnerpercent

[@jacobharrison1294]

never thought i would see the day where Bert would be calming someone else down. LOL

[@AnotherDrummerTX]

Bert definitely called Tom afterwards to say how coked up Stamos was..

[@AudibleVisibIe]

"he was fucking ZOOMIN" "uhhhundred percent tahm"

[@covidkiller420]

Lol do you guys forget Bert openly does coke too. Wouldn’t doubt they got a lil ripped before the show started but maybe just John did this time around

[@AnotherDrummerTX]

@covidkiller420 truth but he's not brushing it off as something he used to do while laughing like a stoner

[@hailxmaryxmallon9827]

​@covidkiller420 no he's been very, very clear he's California sober, so *checks notes*, okay yeah he's ripping lines

[@Joshbobjovi]

Going from sober Rob Lowe to rail riding Stamos is going to give me whiplash.

[@neighborbruce]

Stamos and Bert are the ebodiment of two uppers having a conversation

[@jaybabexox]

This!😂

[@helenconnolly5403]

Exhausting but I loved it 🤣

[@matthewgower]

1.25x speed = cocaine bears

[@alyssaabbate3488]

Not me looking for a comment about John being coked up

[@deannadevaney2968]

YES RIGHT?? The whole time I was like is it me or is John coked up?? @@alyssaabbate3488

[@Jwallace23]

Coke Stamos VS rambling Bert. This’ll be good

[@CptWhit3y]

came here to point out the coke head lol.

[@TommyGetTheBag]

I know now where all the Peruvian pink flake went. 😎💀

[@tarynshae6527]

Coke Stamos is so on par

[@meganmarts5769]

This episode is a Trainwreck. But here I am watching it. I'm cringing. Bort is blowing more smoke than Stamos is snorting coke!

[@paulmitchell6485]

Who wouldn't love a good weekend on the gear with coke stamos tho

[@loganfrost7439]

15 to 20 years ago my family was on vacation at Epcot. My teenage at the time sister and mother spotted Stamos out of a crowd and approached him.he was kind and took a photo with both of them. Made my sisters day, but my mom was mortified because he accidentally touched her under arm fat. To this day I think that was the catalyst to her losing over 100lbs I enjoyed this pod more than I thought I would and its neat it brought up that memory.

[@keithymg]

Wonder if she met him in that day he spoke about here. Where he was in a date with his wife and he wasn't being recognized so he took that n glasses off. That would be wild if that day ur mom saw him was the day he spoke about.

[@doesntmatter2760]

That’s awesome man

[@utsmoke845]

This statement made this pod worth the click. Hilarious

[@giantturd5157]

Lmao that's fantastic.

[@robgal9695]

That’s unbelievable Super cool

[@italnkicbxr]

My wife and I are watching this episode, and 10 minutes in we are both saying to each other, ‘he must be on something’. I waited until half way through the podcast to look at the comments, they did not disappoint 😂😂😂😂

[@17Codiferus]

Stamos' agent told him he was scheduled to be a 'guest bear' today, but he clearly thought he was auditioning for the sequel to 'Cocaine Bear'. Simple mistake.

[@trishacollymore4397]

Niiooce

[@deannadevaney2968]

damn that's funny!!

[@chrissarvello6852]

😂 Gold. Seriously got a good belly laugh at that.

[@jakecooley7603]

Well done

[@DanielFinton]

😭😭😭

[@jessehackett6941]

Damn John Stamos turning into Charlie Sheen before our eyes lmfao

[@00SamG]

Anyone in the audio is screaming stop sniffing!!! Lol Yancked to the gills!! The throat clears and the drooling out saying yes in agreement talk lol. It like it’s a bit!

[@LukeingSharp]

Why is this not the top comment?😅

[@Wheres-Wolfie]

I saw this comment and actually payed attention and the sniffing was out of control lol

[@LRed-ig1rt]

I thought the same thing!!

[@bigballabill]

I went to KZbin from audio only to verify this same conclusion. Five minutes in and that’s enough crank sniffing for me!

[@matthewclark7781]

Bert views himself as Stamos, Stamos views Bert as Larry the cable guy. 😂

[@UKnowIt22000]

I just came here to see how many people quickly recognized that Stamos was on blow lol.

[@emmettbrooks19]

“We are pretty much the same person” Bert views himself as Stamos😂 Delusions of grandeur are hot this week!!

[@zooedca]

Ha... Came here to say exactly that!

[@je__.]

way of thinking or personality, i guesss .. physically? well....... 😂😂

[@cas126]

I know that delusions of grandeur are a symptopm of some meds like zoloft. I wonder if bert just suffers from a naturally occur high dose of it. Kinda like the lady who naturally has a high BAC but can be completely sober.

[@onyxmoonasquad1]

After watching it they’re pretty dam similar haha

[@wafflemonster5576]

California sober Bert is honestly such a better version Bert, he’s not interrupting people as often and he actually seams to actually be in the conversation

[@anthonychitown88]

30 seconds in and Stamos is LIT out of his mind!! That's some 🔥❄️

[@alexchavez217]

Sniffling like its his job lol he got it from el chapo himself probably not even lying

[@hannahedmunds6153]

One thing i love about stamos is how respectful he is when speaking to other people. Seen him on a lot of podcasts and he always says ‘sir’ and ‘ma’m’ to elders, i think thats lovely.

[@drewbigelow1052]

Omg, Bert asking Stamos where he got GHB and he replies with “some waiter somewhere, you want his number?” Had me DYING and Bert just blew by it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@MaraMash]

He doesn't even need to know, Bert gets all his GHB through Tom

[@stephenkolman5727]

I wonder if there is a mathematical formula of how much blow is needed to put up with Bart for two hours.

[@rogerwilco1777]

all of it

[@benbudd1376]

I think Answer is: LOTS.

[@joetarded7591]

I'm dying

[@Anubis.6256]

7.8 grams

[@stephenkolman5727]

@@Anubis.6256 An eight ball an hour?

[@alisonhufnagle7398]

“You’ve been interviewing yourself for an hour you’re doing great” 2 bears 1 cave in a nutshell 😂

[@WOATW]

"Let's rip a few fat rails and record a podcast" Absolute GOLD!

[@cliveowen334]

I do a lot of coke, I know people who do it too. This man is doing it. That's all.

[@alexmeadeflarevulca8996]

Came to comments to see if he was indeed on some uppers lol

[@erickillg811]

He is higher than a kite during his podcast. He can’t sit still for one second.

[@johncole4882]

Why assume it's coke? Doesn't it make more sense that it's Adderall? Considering how popular this drug has become

[@brianfox627]

@@johncole4882same thing basically

[@brianfox627]

The way almost nothing makes sense when he talks is amazing

[@KeepFeatherinIt201]

Bert telling Stamos he and him are the same person at his core. The self-delusion never misses

[@michael3448]

I guess you don't know what that statement means then.

[@asdsdfbhgbggtrrerg]

''we both ate a xanax that night, were practically the same person'' -bart crysher

[@nicolecousins1563]

Bert: Where did you get GHB from? Stamos: Some waiter somewhere. You want his number?

[@MichaelLaFrance1]

Bert doesn't think he grew up with money. That's hilarious. His dad is a very successful lawyer. I guess he doesn't understand that most people can't stay in college and a frat for 8 years, all expenses paid.

[@germanikolaas]

It's trendy for wealthy powerful people to say they are poor and weak.

[@cas126]

​@Kahrooch he probably meant "upper middle class" paycheck to paycheck lol which still means living good and have a little something extra

[@mahkev2000]

Dude is jawing!! I love that we can watch someone clearly high af on cocaine but my phone won't auto spell "cocaine".

[@revfunk8823]

Comment of the day 👏👏👏

[@tomkoval490]

I’ve had to fix the cocaine spelling about a hundred times now. Keep trying to make jokes and just pointing out the obvious

[@CrazyBeatlesFanatic]

This episode made me realize we need a Two Bears episode with Neil DeGrasse Tyson and Bert, to see who can interrupt each other the most.

[@Kysplzzz]

😂😂😂

[@willpowerfpv3246]

Hahaha. Please no. 😂

[@SuperBrentendo89]

Throw Pete Holmes in there for good measure. Lol but jk I actually love Pete

[@jameswatkins656]

That would give me a migraine within 5 min 😂 That literally would be torture, I'd lose my shit 😅

[@cas126]

I dont think itd go well because while Tyson is educated and can articulate a discussion, Bart would get mad, as a chimp who got his banana stolen, that someone wasnt allowing HIM to talk.

[@BrianKlidies]

Bert: I took GHB. Stamos: Today?

[@bheinatz1]

Hahaha, right?!

[@Shovelman220]

You can almost taste the drip in the back of his throat. Word.

[@coreyhayes4081]

This dude is shot out lmao 🤣 I can’t believe he just talked to Bert’s parents I’m dying

[@walkingolga6235]

and he was dying to flirt with Bert’s mom which is hilarious

[@kylelichter7]

When Bert said his parents have money but not MY money was pretty friggin hilarious 😂

[@alexandraharkins]

Watching and listening to Stamos makes Bert look calm and put together 😅

[@Kdub1710]

Uncle Jesse only wanted to FaceTime someone so he could look at himself with the phone. 😂

[@robertbreland9780]

I feel like Bert is thinking “ Is Stamos on coke right now “ 😅

[@motownmojo]

The way Bert always says “I haven’t had sex with that many people” and then immediately corrects it to “women” fuggin kills me 😆

[@randomtees]

He's Rogan's "married, closeted good friend," right?

[@gotwide]

It was funny the first time when it was natural, not so much when he does it every. single. time. he talks about having sex now

[@nathanpu5413]

Jittery and sniffing. Like lol how’d John’s team let this air. 😂

[@hyphybull28]

On today's episode of 2 bears, we have a coked ❄️ ❄️ out John Stamos interviewing Bart Chrysler (The Mechanic)

[@jasonzambricki1669]

Welcome to this weeks episode of Bert interrupts a celebrity for 2 hours!

[@HotNickles918]

Didn’t even get to skip the ads yet but this comment told me everything I needed to know

[@madddsss6326]

Every episode is him saying the same stuff the same way and it’s just not funny anymore. But stamos is awesome so let’s see if Bert can control himself for 5 minutes to let someone else speak

[@steveaustin330]

So why stay?

[@commaJim]

What an original and thoughtful comment!

[@rodsacreage7218]

I’d rather hear Bert’s same old story’s them watch John tweaking the whole time

[@DJpockets666]

Want a fun game, count the coke sniffles in this video 😂

[@sarahlowell3763]

Combine both of their vices and take a drink for every sniff 😂

[@bender8784]

Bert: At our core, we’re the same person. Stamos: (deflated) Really?

[@ShowtimeThaRaptor]

Bert cutting off uncle Jesse when he’s grieving about bob 😂😂😂 ego is wild

[@brooksdurham8244]

Stop sniffing Stamos! 😂

[@dandyrandy2384]

Stamos acting like he ate a whole ass bologna and cocaine sandwich before they did this podcast

[@matias.maroma]

“I already have a wife and kids why would I need friends? Oh, friends are super important so you can talk shit about your wife and kids” 😂😂😂

[@the_Brainjuice]

The comments, the episode, I'm in tears lol

[@evanatchley3522]

Its not the sniffing that gives it away, its that throat clearing cough where it sounds like he might throw up...that is never not from cocaine haha

[@sstricklin20]

Or the hair fixing and hand fidgeting… Lolol but I still don’t care.

[@EweAreAllSheep]

I didn't know Stamos did coke. I love both Stamos AND coke! 😀

[@joeygarcia4277]

Stamos saying “oh yeah you’re fine!” @ the fact that Bert doesn’t “sweat it out” 😂

[@andohish27]

Stamos shoulda just racked out a couple lines mid-podcast while he was at it

[@crucix1483]

Keeping your jeans high and tight, I see

[@aaronmiller7954]

Im sure he took a couple breaks. Watch for cuts in the video

[@barryallen8882]

I was looking for this confirmation 👍

[@timhankins6884]

I thought he was on blow too

[@Mastercreek]

Oh hes a tootin all right. Waaay too fidgety for a sober person Book it!!!

[@tylergeorge52]

Dude I’ve got whiplash from this podcast.. could you imagine trying to get a word in with these two??

[@pardoldigital1532]

Stamos shitting on Tom is the best breakfast I could’ve gotten.

[@nickdavis8881]

John loves calling hosts parents and offering them Beach Boys tix 😂

[@blaze6sixx9ine92]

This is THE best podcast episode ever PERIOD 😂

[@JarrettWBass]

John Stamos literally taking over the podcast. He's really curious and respectful. 2 key ingredients and just be glad he doesn't have one.

[@fabianmartinez9899]

Stamos is a legend, he had to do a brick of coke just to try and finish a story before Bert interrups him. GOAT

[@kimr2352]

Stamos cracking at the Scientology thing is SO funny to me😂

[@beezo1764]

Stamos Coke laugh is craaaaazzzzyyyy😂

[@VirginiaWolf88]

He heard Bert slobbering over Rob Lowe. LOL. 😅

[@Bosshogmma]

Stamos was actually pretty damn funny! Great episode IMO

[@majesticpbjcat7707]

It's great to hear Burt and John Stamos talk about Burt.

[@TheHomieFedSmoker]

My favorite part is the beginning when John is touching his face / chin because he can’t feel it any other way.

[@18Callahan]

Bert loves celebrity fame more than being a great comedian that’s why his shows are filled with mascots, mopeds, BBQ’s, the National anthem to fill time. Attaching himself to young great comedians to fill seats is his thing.

[@dumbledoresarmy7569]

Seems like you really don’t like the dude. It doesn’t really matter either way but just out of curiosity, why do you watch if you’re not a fan? Seems like a waste of time to me lol.

[@slothtv3144]

Is it just me or is Stamos riding the white horse

[@paulblann]

Came to the comments to confirm my suspicion. Lol

[@marcusaurelius652]

All damn day

[@slothtv3144]

@@paulblann tweakinggg

[@robdubent]

Careful they’re deleting these comments

[@TrollHunterxXx]

Probably just high on life … he’s John fucking Stamos

[@adamd.6698]

I’ve got a contact coke high just 3 mins in.. god bless you Stamos

[@Shmegaladonking]

I really hope they end up talking about this in a future podcast lmao

[@jdo82]

My bet is they never bring this up on any podcast! Like it never happened lol

[@TheGhostnshell]

Damn Uncle Jesse geekin 😂

[@lanalaned6592]

😂😂😂

[@TwoAverageDads]

Stamos is fuckin Tweakin lmao

[@faithresigns]

Doesn't have a problem not drinking. Hasn't had a sip in 73 days, 16 hours, 37 minutes and 12 seconds. Doesn't even miss it.

[@Sasssssy3257]

😂 💯

[@shannontreiber1070]

He’s SO high. I love it, honestly.

[@descripto2586]

Stamos isnt on coke, hes trying to finish stories before Bert can interrupt him. Hes a legend.

[@neighborbruce]

Hope that's a joke bc Stamos is clearly on coke in the majority of podcasts I've seen him on. With or without bert

[@revfunk8823]

Dude, you don't know how coke works. Stamos is FUCKED up

[@darkyferret8043]

no he is on coke to try and keep ahead of bert interrupting him and it isn't working...

[@ginnilynn1]

He is a legend and he is on coke. You can be both haha

[@RealReelsRightHere]

@@ginnilynn1facts bro lmfao real gangstas can handle their drugs

[@ayamanif3799]

Is that Parkinson’s or coke? John Stamos is lit again

[@rogerwilco1777]

yes

[@chriscornelious8393]

I feel lke if I had access to one of Stamos' Kleenex I could record five albums, build half a house with my bare hands, and run three marathons.

[@alexderoche1861]

Bert "we have a chat thread called baby walrus" John: "a what? Bert: "baby walrus" John "what?" 😂

[@2011Jayceon]

If next week is another 2 hours of Bert talking and Matthew Perry is on, we know why he did it.

[@pabloenriquez2929]

HOLY SHIT THIS IS GOLD

[@georgeprendergast8305]

Not funny..not even remotely..smh

[@WakeandBlake_420]

Anthony Fauci did it lmao

[@NGC74567]

This wins funniest comment and it's only been up for an hour

[@Ryan-ez6mt]

​@@georgeprendergast8305cry

[@vbrook04]

Wow I hope he is getting clean stuff, cant lose John.

[@jamesbetza2900]

It hits Bert all at once on the 25:09 mark that Stamos is co*ed out of his mind... You can see the lightbulb go off lmao.

[@bheinatz1]

No, I don't think Bert observes anybody with that much concentration.

[@aaronmiller7954]

Berts oblivious to anything but himself

[@danielalbers481]

Listenting to Stamos sober made me feel the same stressful feeling when your the only one coked up amongst your friends.

[@Atm8y]

Stamos is not sober lol. He’s so coked up in this interview

[@MaddMaxOfficial]

Or the only one sober around coked up guys 😂

[@DarthRaider117]

John Stamos must have allergies the way that he sniffling and playing with his nose😅🤧

[@HunterBurgess95]

Who listens to 2 bears with just bert? Lmaoooo

[@craigmnz]

One of the best! John's sense of humour and timing 😂😂😂

[@danmeadd]

Dang, this may have been one of the best guest bears ever. Well done.

[@jameswatkins656]

If this isn't cocaine then I don't know what is 😂

[@MSpight]

No Tom… Guess we’re watching Christina’s podcast this week!

[@axr42]

damnn lol

[@Henchman1977]

Don't do it there's so much to live for lol

[@Grom-rl8bm]

I'd sooner watch a full hour of Schaub than watch whatever she puts out

[@yourm0msboyfriend]

same dude.. same

[@commaJim]

​@@Grom-rl8bmYou're the coolest!

[@blue_vein_titty]

“ i live rite down the street, i got GHB.. 😂😂😂🤘

[@kevtomato717]

STAMOS OFF THE SHITS 🤣🤣🤣

[@pickyglicky5174]

Stamos geekin lol

[@jessehackett6941]

Bro lmfao I thought I was the only one who noticed that ninja got that good booger sugar

[@gunnaryaughn6643]

I didn't realize how big a fan I am of John stamos until I seen his name pop up for this pod! Probably gonna start it over immediately after I finish

[@TheRealUcare]

Usually my ADHD makes me speed up podcasts, this is the first one i wanted to slow down. Ever.

[@Nothingman88]

I think Bert's idea of a family having money might be slightly skewed, ha. Edit: Did he just say he never has to sweat it out (alcohol)? I cannot count how many times he has talked about having to wake up and workout to counter the alcohol. Heck, he would literally drink wine while running, haha🍷🏃.

[@noahrodrigueziii143]

As a legend once said,”Cocaine is a hell of a drug. “

[@justinbridgez]

this is an oscar winning perfomance if he IS sober..which he is not.

[@vnewt0422]

I love how he never fails to make himself vulnerable.

[@ek1046]

theres no way he's sober right now... just from the intro alone haha then i watched a few minutes....

[@Paulwun]

I feel like listening to John made me feel like I was also on something for this cast

[@di__rty]

YMH needs to do a spinoff with these 2 titled Cocaine Bear

[@justinban8961]

Stamos berting Bert constantly is amaze 😂

[@manierisratchet]

Ol' Stamos Geeked up! 😂

[@bri7506]

Aren't all of our uncle Jessie's coked up though? It feels right