My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums (What Can I Do?)

My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums (What Can I Do?)
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[@privacyplease1556]

“His mom has tried to break our marriage up.” LET HER! She’s doing you a favor.

[@UnAnonKnown]

Plot twist. The mom is trying to save her lol

[@patriciaalbertson5183]

Amen

[@jansmith3158]

She said her mother-in-law is very manipulative...so is her husband. The apple did not fall far from the tree. Both the mothe in law and son are very disordered individual. These types never change. They do everything to have power & control over others. The husband throws his temper tantrums to scare the wife. ALL planned out & intentional. He wants power & control over his wife so she does not leave him. This is what all abuser want power & control over others.

[@staceystrukel1917]

@@savannahgoogle9367no, they are abusive people themselves. Her comments were slamming the wife. There’s a reason her husband is the way he is.

[@KatrenaS]

Yesssss

[@hotmessmeg9987]

These aren’t “good periods.” It’s just a part of the cycle of abuse.

[@myblueskye777]

Exactly.

[@staceystrukel1917]

Pure manipulation

[@deannajan25]

Yes. He is a psychopath.

[@sherriflemming3218]

The Duluth Power And Control Wheel Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Why Does He Do That? Lundy Bancroft

[@ohsnipssmd7809]

Yep it's the bread crumbling technique to get her to stay and put up with it! Don't! It will be a horrid spiral of abuse and toxicity! Better to get out now and start fresh with your new baby! Hope she did. ❤

[@lachanna100]

February 23, 2017 I left my abusive ex husband. I walked away on foot with 6 children & $4800(all the money I had in the world). I did NOT tell him I was leaving. He came home from work & we were gone. It is the single greatest decision I’ve made as an adult. New job(5 years) New apartment(4 years) New truck(3 years) I’m happy, I’m doing AMAZING & I have peace… 😊 Sara: RUN!!!

[@camellia8625]

You are extremely courageous and resilient. Best to leave without warning when he is out.

[@QuanHoang2x01]

Sometimes I wonder why abusive relationships are quite common. Is it because people pick their partners stupidly or people change drastically too often

[@Tagatiway]

​@@QuanHoang2x01 I think both. Another one is like my parents (they were good people) but no compatible so they fought a lot. I guess before things got physical they decided to break it off. I've only had 2 serious relationship. First amazing, calm sweet guy. Had to ended in part because he wanted to have kids. I didn't. Next guy I knew how he was because I had met him years before, but nothing serious between us. Till 21-22 I "decided" to move with him, we would fight, about stupid stuff. I accepted his behavior cuz I had already put a lot into the relationship. (Moved states) I tried leaving when I noticed my behavior getting unrecognizable to me. (I guess I could excuse him yelling because he had a rough life. But I didn't want to forgive myself for yelling back. That's not who I was before him) Eventually he got me back, then things got worse, got physical, I again tried to excuse him in my head. My breaking point was when I got physical. "I know myself, this is not me, and if I am indeed an abuser, being with him is going to make it worse" It is all dumb and weird how I rationalized things But me becoming a bad person made me scape the relationship. Totally my fault for even entering that relationship. I still blame myself because I knew better. I was stupid. He used to talk about love And how love conquers all... I've never believed in that, and I can't love someone I had to walk on eggshells. Maybe I'm heartless but my love is conditional. Gladly we didn't have kids.

[@staceystrukel1917]

@@QuanHoang2x01because childhood abuse is so common in many forms. When we are young we are not aware.

[@wendiparker9831]

Good for you and well done for your children...Takes courage and a strong woman to walk away...Kudos to you....Happy life to you and your children. ...You are an inspiration for others....From New Zealand ...🕊️🌍....

[@privacyplease1556]

Him being a former cop is so predictable and makes this situation exponentially more dangerous. The entitlement and feeling of being untouchable is why they abuse.

[@JesusIsKing-109]

100% correct. I really hope she gets out with her kids.

[@Openingtheshadow]

Cause of his own childhood

[@michellesimmons3150]

same with military...MANY have a deep narcissistic complex and entitlement complex....ironically so many retire from the military and become... COPS, FBI, CIA....in other words, very dangerous men with connections in places most cant touch

[@cc-by8uk]

Be aware that you might not safe with your family because he is a cop and might have his collegues on his side. So you may have eventually go to another state not to be harrassed anymore.

[@woodsandcreek7589]

Soooo true!

[@higuoy]

Sarah, an important thing to recognize is does he throw these tantrums in public? When someone can control themselves outside their home, it is a CHOICE they are making to lose control around you and your kids. It is used to intimidate and control.

[@spriggy4382]

He specifically chooses items that are significant to her to destroy. He's in full control.

[@clairew6043]

My ex I left last year never showed his true self in public they all think he's wonderful.

[@raraavis7782]

Very good point. If everyone thinks he's a good person, because he only ever shows that side of him at home...he's abusive and not simply someone with 'anger issues'. Not that the latter wouldn't be bad enough. But showing this side of him specially towards her and only her is a very bad sign. And showing it in front of the kids? Repeatedly? Run.

[@jemmajames6719]

I’ve been in this situation for 31 years, get out if you can!

[@okaycola2]

Yep

[@stephanielouis-charles5399]

Sarah, you are in an abusive relationship. This is not a temper tantrum or childish behavior, it's abuse.

[@gogiants1227]

No 😂

[@GwenMotoGirl]

Yes! Plus it’s important to know that if she decides to go to counseling with him… the worst beating by my ex-husband (who did the same behaviors Sarah described) was after a joint counseling session during which I was honest about his behavior. I was also pregnant with my 3rd when I left. I’m grateful that I got out and into a whole new life decades ago.

[@lzal9204]

@@GwenMotoGirl mine always wanted to get a new counselor every time they would get to the root of his narcissism. Suddenly that counselor didn’t know what they were talking about and we had to find someone new. I’m glad you got out.

[@GwenMotoGirl]

@@lzal9204 thank you. I hope you are living a peaceful life now.

[@brettemiller8046]

He sugar coated it a bit because that's a scary reality to realize and some people reject the word so hard they disregard everything else.

[@crystalztube217]

Staying in a toxic relationship is worse for the kids than divorce.

[@Thespiritleads777]

This is so true and they’ll tell you that when they grow up!!!

[@StormyMonday0896]

Yes, please protect your children

[@anthonymack46]

Thats bullsit!

[@raccuia1]

@@anthonymack46 bullsit? Oh yeah, when did you see the bull sit?

[@lala5061]

That's true because they are severely altered mentally and emotionally...

[@cathyl7944]

Her calm reaction to him telling her to leave tells me this is so much worse than she even described.

[@texasdazzlers]

I find it hard to believe he’s not already hitting her or their kids.

[@pattylyons9645]

It's definitely worse than she's describing. It's justifying his bad behavior by saying he's good sometimes, which I'm sure he is. But it's not just about her or her husband. There are little ones who need protection from this abuse.

[@beckee6282]

As soon as she said “he was a police officer” I was like girl RUN. And I have no hate towards good cops, but the fact that he’s being violent (even if not towards her) is a red flag. The most important thing is keeping the kids safe and they are not safe in a house like that, mentally, emotionally or physically.

[@stacyrich113]

I think a big red flag is he’s an ex-police officer. What did he do to lose that job?

[@elkforests]

The red flag for me was that she tried to frame the question around gifts. When you're in a HIGHLY abusive relationship, you try to throw life lines out in ways that seem way more innocent but also strange. It's like your brain knows something is wrong and that you need help, but you don't know how to directly say it.

[@JustinCase780]

When she said that he often blames her for his outbursts? Please leave him.

[@amarie6223]

Yeah, he sounds like an entitled narcissist.

[@EadsB7002]

textbook narcissist!

[@BlackStump172]

He is a psycho sociopath . Her family could be in danger , so she needs to be somewhere that he does not know . He can follow family and friends .

[@1tommyday]

I'm cringing listening to this. She got pregnant for the THIRD TIME with an abuser. She needs to leave him and not tell him. Sarah...please make a plan to go and divorce him afterwards. There's no way this will work out. You and your kids are in constant danger right now.

[@carolparry4077]

By warning him, she puts herself in danger. A woman is most likely to be murdered in an abusive relationship when she tries to leave. Don't warn him, just go quietly when he isn't around.

[@JoelWende]

I came here to the comments to say exactly this. I’ll add to it that she also needs to be extremely careful once she HAS left. Especially with him being an ex cop. He’ll be able to find out addresses and the like. She needs to leave, ensure she has security and protection, and also ensure that she watches those kids like a hawke because they will often harm the kids if they can’t get to the mother. If there is any sign of stalking behaviour report, report, report because the statistics show that if there is stalking behaviour the chances of a homicide attempt is 76%

[@tatertot80]

I totally agree 💯

[@amberr3130]

This! Can't stress this enough. Don't give him a heads up. With his anger problem there is a chance he might take it out on her. Just make sure you have everything ready to go and leave.

[@hughesadam87]

He can get a punching bag if he needs to "get aggression out"

[@randybobandy9828]

Ya and make sure you steal all his money from his account before you go.

[@JustinCase780]

Getting upset is one thing but he destroys and hides things that are important to her? True psycho.

[@darex0827]

Its one thing to get angry (feelings are feelings), but to lose control to a point that destruction of things are involved, run. That's one step away from destroying you.

[@cynthianolder3557]

She is describing an ex president pretty well, Someone who throws things against walls, verbally bullies & it sounds like there's a problem with her husband's mom & dad

[@FreeSpirit47]

@@cynthianolder3557 This is about husband + wife relationships *not* politics. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@cynthianolder3557]

@@FreeSpirit47 Geez! like I don't know that. Her description of some of his behavior made me think of 45, who is a child in a man's body

[@AbeerM-sd2fq]

He breaks her thibgs but not his. He is in full control here.

[@ladysparkle6784]

Sarah the most dangerous time for an abused woman is when she’s trying to leave. Quietly plan your escape and tell only a trusted friend. Sometimes women are killed by accident because an angry spouse just loses control and he has shown you that he can’t control himself.

[@eatnplaytoday]

Exactly. Leave without saying anything, then call him from afar. Get restraining order if needed

[@patriciaalbertson5183]

Yeah.... Just do it! Don't talk about it... Take action... Dont warn him just get the hell out

[@HillbillySith]

Sarah, get a cheap burner phone and hide it outside your home with extra keys, a credit card, this can escalate so fast and so dramatically it will shock you into freezing. Have a plan. Practice finding your go bag and phone. Make sure you have people’s numbers in the phone that you can call. Practice your plan so you know what to do. ❤️ I’m so sorry

[@dianaverano7878]

I dont believe an angry person can "accidentally kill" their spouse. That is just an excuse so people wont be angry at them. They know what they feel and they know what they are doing. They are not 5 yrs old anymore.

[@yorgivon-schmourgeussborgi]

Actually, he shows he is in full control. He isn't in jail, jobless or friendless because he knows when to hide himself.

[@signalfire15]

Imagine being pregnant and having to put up with a man who is MORE emotionally volatile than you are. At a time in your life when you need a stable partner. Wow.

[@Jaxmusicgal23]

Yep it sucks. And I kept getting surprised pregnancies. I’m scared to death sometimes even be sick. I need his help let alone be pregnant again. Women need emotional stability when they’re pregnant or when they are having a rough PMS month or are sick with something and can’t take care of the kids… If a man can’t even handle those things . It doesn’t help the relationship and it does not instill confidence in the relationship. Then they wonder why you don’t trust him and why you struggle to care about them, and have feelings for them . Because women get touchy-feely, happy feelings from being supported, loved and lead not dominated while also, trying to be your mother because you won’t do anything on your own and throw giant temper tantrums. It makes me toxic and that’s my fault but it’s really hard to stay levelheaded while your husband is yelling and screaming and invalidating and ignoring what you need …. Sometimes you just snap.

[@sherryd3299]

Image when your husband intimidates you, smashes things and screams at you and you think it's a great idea to bring not one, but three babies into this home.

[@staceystrukel1917]

I don’t have to imagine it.

[@staceystrukel1917]

@@sherryd3299don’t shame her

[@Thespiritleads777]

It’s definitely not fun

[@EliltaBerhane]

She is dealing with a man who displays narcissistic rage. I was married to a law enforcement officer who did the same thing! It's not gonna get better unfortunately!

[@Hatbox948]

So true. Been there, done that.

[@KingdomCarrie]

A lot of them are like that unfortunately

[@sarahh5604]

Breaking things important to your spouse or that represent your connection to your spouse is 100% abuse. You don't have to be hit to be abused.

[@barbthegreat586]

It's only a question of time when it's going to be her.

[@junbh2]

And the kids are absolutely being deeply deeply affected by this

[@jenniferrobinson2000]

Amen to that

[@lot2196]

He was a cop? Terrifying.

[@Mr_New_Vegas_685]

40% of cops are reported to beat their wives. Most are on a major power trip.

[@sandicook10]

I think important point was wonder what he did so he is no longer a cop

[@b7Hn4eX8yv4m]

@@sandicook10 I had a project manager who was an ex-cop. He was the definition of an asshole and self-righteous prick. We ended up having him fired after one of our largest clients blew up on him for constantly interrupting and not treating the client like a client...you know, the people who sign our checks. You're right - EX cop for a reason.

[@sensimania]

Terrifying, but not surprising. I'm not saying that all cops are like this, but people like him are more likely to look for jobs that puts them in a position of authority/power.

[@createone100]

And in the United States, suburbia is teeming with guns. Get out, Sarah.

[@SoulfulVeg]

This was my ex after we had our child. He broke things, pushed me around, and took the baby and wouldn't give her back.I left with a little baby in arms when he was at work. Thirty years later, I have no regrets. My life has been really good, and he completely went downhill.

[@susannehuber3996]

Im sooo glad you left and did take the baby. You did the 100% right thing. I’m happy for you ❤❤❤❤

[@SoulfulVeg]

@@susannehuber3996 Thanks! Zero regrets.

[@amarie6223]

Did he ever come after you?

[@SoulfulVeg]

@@amarie6223 Yes, but my brother-in-law came over with his friends. I called the police because I had a restraining order. Didn't see him for a couple of years after that.

[@patriciaalbertson5183]

Except he was already down hill, dragging you down

[@susannewman7228]

This is the home I grew up in. My mother never left. I’m 67 years old now and still haunted by my childhood. Please think of your children, this is damaging them more than you can know.

[@djlivvy46]

I'm so sorry. We can't get free even when they are gone. 😢

[@brownin329]

I was just saying this. I'm 53 and this is still with me.

[@raccuia1]

I'm 64. Same here. Abusers do not change. Why do women stay? Many reasons. One of them is trauma bonding. Another is the female does feel the weaker sex (often) and wants to feel as if she is being taken care of and has safety, security and reassurance. She wants to have prince charming there to give her her esteem and sense of emotional well being. That is why they hang on and hang on because they don't want the notion of that being taken away from them. This caller said the abuser breaks things but she left out the part of physical abuse until it slipped out around 8 minute mark. They make excuses and minimize the abuse for many reasons including shame they have internalized.

[@hughesadam87]

Thats sad I'm sorry

[@mw6346]

I appreciate when older people say things like this. We need people to realize what they do to their kids will live in their head for eternity. My friends brother had a drug binge over the holidays. Ruined Christmas for his 6 year old daughter. I told my friend, "You know she will still remember this when she is 80, right?" I needed my friend to realize how serious this is. I want her to protect her niece.

[@michaelhrivnak9463]

My mother ended my father's smashing things when he got mad by smashing things along with him. When he protested, she simply said, " I'm helping you." He never did that again.

[@camellia8625]

I am so glad your mum’s approach worked. From my experience a partner who does this strangely smashes only your things indicating they are able to control what they are doing.

[@mayame7966]

LOL, love this.

[@relaxwithme__]

This is gold 😂

[@Mica-e4p]

Brilliant!

[@brownin329]

That's risky. Glad it worked.

[@agricolaregs]

If he wanted to treated you right, he would. He doesn’t want to.

[@lala5061]

Period point blank nothing else to think about he not stupid 🙄

[@higuoy]

Married to similar for 25 years, he was a grandiose narc. So manipulative and immature. I am free now, I am happy now.

[@jeannienolte5877]

Me as well

[@beckee6282]

Wasn’t married to one but dated one. The way they destroy your self-esteem is soul crushing. I’m still trying to heal from that relationship and I don’t think I ever will. I’m scared to even date again because I’m terrified I’ll have to deal with another one.

[@doggroomer3286]

I'm married to an Abusive narcissist and have a divorce lawyer. My problem is due to community property within the marriage, I'm unable to buy my own home without half being his. I'm wife # 6 and the wife before me died of a gunshot to the head. I had no idea how evil a person could be.

[@SoulfulVeg]

Same

[@Megan6772]

My 1st thought was narc too.

[@JEANNEHUNTER-q5t]

This man is also setting up his kids to imitate his behaviour when they grow up. Imagine how scared they must be when he yells and gets violent. Break the cycle of abuse!

[@amethystfeathers7324]

.....and to accept that behaviour from their own partners, bosses etc.

[@OopThereItIs77777]

@@amethystfeathers7324not accept, look for. Abused children LOOK for this behavior because it’s safe & familiar

[@julieseamon4599]

This is what I’m dealing with. My husband is one of the kids raised like this. He is just like his father. Thankfully we don’t have kids. I just need to leave.

[@sherriflemming3218]

Indeed break the cycle.

[@tthomestead2763]

Exactly true. They will either grow up to act like him or marry someone who acts like him. But it increases their chances of drug addiction also.

[@parkerskeeper9621]

My ex boyfriend when I was a teen threw a gold necklaces it took me months to save for because he was mad and we were arguing. He saw how heartbroken I was and i saw the satisfaction in his face for hurting me. I knew that was it for me.

[@patriciaalbertson5183]

Glad you saw he was demented. Life is hard... We need people we can trust

[@VioletEmerald]

My mom wripped a beloved bracelet off my wrist, breaking it in the process, and punched a hole in my acoustic guitar. She seemed to act like she didn't know how to control her rage and wished she hadn't done this thing.

[@NeccoWecco]

What she's describing is the cycle of abuse. If things were bad all the time, she would leave without question, but because there are good times, she has reasons to stay. He knows this and does this intentionally. It's all manipulation and tactics of control. He will never change. I worry for her and her childrens' safety

[@michellehanes8136]

My husband that behaves this way also says he will off himself if I leave. He has finally stopped breaking everything in the house but he still says he will off himself if I leave which I feel is manipulative but my family loves him.

[@NeccoWecco]

@@michellehanes8136 My ex did too. They will do anything to not lose control of the situation. I left my ex years ago without any warning. He's still alive. Your family doesn't know the real him. You don't deserve to live in fear.

[@NeccoWecco]

@@michellehanes8136 psychology in seattle has a series on domestic abuse, you might find some guidance there

[@infamyinfamy]

@@michellehanes8136 Let your family marry him then. You don't have to stay there due to his childish blackmail.

[@patriciaalbertson5183]

Infamy. Run. Obvious to me your family is sick, then. Mine did the same... They don't care, get out... Run for your life

[@cypressoaks]

Listening to this made me feel like I was 6 again, cowering in my room and too afraid to move while my dad turned over entire bookcases and threw pans at my mom because my brothers and I didn’t clean up our toys, or because he was broke and mad about it. I hope this woman has the strength to leave this man and save her unborn child from ever knowing that fear

[@bres9977]

The level of violence is escalating. It went from yelling, to yelling AND throwing things. It’s only a matter of time before he begins to hit her if he hasn’t already. It will get worse once a new baby who cries ALL the time and needs attention comes into the household. She needs to leave with the kids and not even tell him. Have a suitcase or two of clothes at her family’s house so if he does it again she can leave IMMEDIATELY.

[@lzal9204]

This woman needs to make a safe exit plan. This is the most dangerous time period for a woman-both being pregnant and leaving. Did I hear right that he’s a cop? So he has a gun. And influence. He can’t be trusted. He sounds like an immature narcissist. Believe me when I tell you that being a single mom is easier than dealing with this abuse for the rest of your life. I left because I didn’t want my kid thinking that his behavior was normal.

[@okaycola2]

Yep

[@Thespiritleads777]

All the things you mentioned though make for a very “fun” divorce

[@LeeannMorrisHouseofStitches]

Just wait until these kids are teenagers. Mine were getting mean, so I ditched ALL of them.

[@LeeannMorrisHouseofStitches]

Just wait until these kids are teenagers. Mine were getting mean, so I ditched ALL of them. Their dad learned all about household chores and why the kids need to help a little. 😢

[@d.m1055]

This was my ex and much worse. He kicked me, he threw me on the floor, he slapped me. A lot of sexual and emotional abuse too. I left. He begged me to stay, promised he would change. I didn’t believe him that time. He killed himself two months ago.. I’m sad, but I truly believe that he would have killed me if I stayed

[@sherriflemming3218]

The Duluth Power And Control Wheel

[@meowinde]

I'm really sorry you are going through all of this. That's a lot of traumatic grief.

[@hughesadam87]

Damn that's heavy I'm sorry

[@KittyKatVtg-n9n]

I’m so sorry you went through that. Better him than you, but I’m guessing that doesn’t help right now. It’s not your fault. Hugs.

[@SamanthaURen]

ALSO marriage counselling will not work in an abusive dynamic.

[@brooketastic2010]

Everytime she said "yeah" in agreeance, my heart just broke. To be the most vulnerable as a women is being pregnant and having to deal with this is heartbreaking.

[@pattylyons9645]

For the safety of yourself and your kids, get away before he does something horrible to you or your kids. He's already shown he's a ticking time bomb. This is an emergent situation and you and your kids are in danger.

[@beckee6282]

Yeah, I’m scared for them. What’s going to happen if she does try to leave? Is he going to become violent towards her or their kids?

[@privacyplease1556]

Shes not going anywhere. Her relatives have already told her to go. She stays and still sleeps with him. She will let him pummel her because she has no dignity or self respect.

[@xhaltsalute]

There are no conversations that are safe at this point. Do not give him any hints, don't threaten, don't talk, just DO. Get the hell out of there! He has been a cop. Get out, get the restraining order, live with your family members.

[@melaniegreen1311]

Sounds like my dad. My dad would break things and then said, "look what you made me do, now clean it up". He can be jekyll and Hyde, for the most part he is jekyll but when his temper flairs he is Hyde.

[@gessrinky9129]

Samessss

[@doctorposting]

my dad too😂😂

[@rachelgooden9981]

Mine too

[@Hatbox948]

Narcissist. Google it.

[@TipTheScales27]

You better not take care of him in his old age

[@jvsaints3028]

She MUST make sure she and the children are safe. The most dangerous time for a woman is when she is leaving.

[@AuroraBernadette]

This was my ex husband of 16 years. I had 4 children with him. I was limping in my third trimester with my 4th baby. Girl this will keep getting worse. Please leave. Praise God you have support and family. I left and lost everything without a penny to my name or a roof over my head but I truly believe it saved my life. Bless you for having more sense then I did and reaching out to others.

[@patriciaalbertson5183]

.. You would have lost all that if you died too! Better to start over. And God forbid, a disaster like a flood, fire , hurricane come... Want to be stuck with his person?

[@Freedom-em3zb]

I totally disagree, Dr. Delony. She should not announce she's leaving . Just leave. With that much anger, this will not go well.

[@phyllisdevonish859]

When the abused leaves the situation is exponentially worse… say nothing… disappear

[@richardfox2865]

Totally agree. Don't announce this: make a plan, then act and leave; go no contact.

[@NotatHome4684]

💯 agree!

[@BlackStump172]

It is stupid to say ahead and why is he saying this ? He is good but sometimes in La La Land .

[@sherriflemming3218]

A safety plan is a requirement along with a strong support system.

[@DavidMedic447]

Why am I not surprised this guy is a cop

[@ItsMrstoyouboo]

Probably one of the ones that use steroids too.

[@jenniferbarry5887]

was a cop...........did he leave or was he sacked?

[@jenniferanderson3959]

Because you are a hateful bigot?

[@Byeimky]

Just ended a relationship yesterday. I’ve had chips ripped from my hand and poured on the floor, things ripped from my hand and broken, walls punched, etc. just this past week he got into an accident because he was speeding bc he was mad at me and totaled his car. I’m tired of the drama. Over it. I’ve excused everything and I can’t do it anymore especially with a child.

[@amyp66]

I hope you are beginning to heal x

[@Byeimky]

@@amyp66 I genuinely appreciate that. Just saw him today for the first time in a month. I needed this. It was hard, thank you 🥺 I am healing the best I can :)

[@djlivvy46]

Why is it that they will do everything except go to therapy?

[@amyp66]

@@djlivvy46 It's well documented that these kinds of people do not do well with therapy. They don't want to be any better ultimately and they lie. I was married to someone like this we had two goes at therapy. Once home and discussing things it was as if we had both had different sessions, he had experienced a totally different outcome than I had and had felt the therapist had been on his side.

[@djlivvy46]

@@amyp66 - to be honest, I did think that as I was typing that comment. They either need to do something different or just leave women alone.

[@user-qg9kk2kt3t]

It isn’t an anger management issue. It’s targeted abuse to control you into submission.

[@sherriflemming3218]

Exactly

[@TW-Disneylvr]

Married 17 years to a former Marine who was exactly the same. Was diagnosed bipolar & drank excessively daily. I stayed from age 20 to 37. Leave girl. It will not improve. The right man is out there down the road.

[@brendamoon2660]

Both my parents acted like this. Those kids will have crippling anxiety the rest of their lives

[@EmilyLucille523]

Totally understand. My husband is not physically abusive but I hate when he gets angry and breaks things. I live on egg shells every single freaking day.

[@Jaxmusicgal23]

Yep

[@sarahjoe2457]

That is emotional and psychological abuse.

[@briskettacos]

Breaking things is a form of intimidation. Are you happier with him than you were before him?

[@knightartorias1825]

LEAVE. So ridiculous.

[@TeresaCatherine-wi9co]

I grew up dealing with this. It is deflating to one's sense of self and safety. Us kids felt trapped. I have anxiety and self esteem issues to this day because of it.

[@justs7605]

She's describing my father to the T. 33 years later I've decided to remove myself from him because tantrums and screaming are toxic. If she doesn't leave, her kids will want to be gone as soon as they can.

[@michelejohnson6459]

No more kids. This is going down hill fast. 😮

[@texasdazzlers]

Little late for that.

[@hillarybillary21]

The sex is what keeps the women holding on. Sad but true

[@hiddenhand6973]

Sex? 😂 Women do not stick around for the sex. Trust. @@hillarybillary21

[@ms-corleone]

@@flyin.hawaiianthat or fear (e.g., fear of abandonment), manipulation, or more. Or a combination. Impossible to know what’s going on with her with what ha covered during the call.

[@EadsB7002]

it's bad enough to marry someone like this....but then to bring kids into the picture?? Good grief. people are really not playing with the full decK! So unfair to those kids!

[@Monae6890]

I had a father like this….. it sucks for the kids because even when mom leaves dad, dad still gets visitation and plenty of time to scream and verbally abuse the kids. I’m 27 and I just recently learned how to heal and not affect me anymore

[@Jaxmusicgal23]

This is what I was afraid of and why I just kept staying even though he yells a lot… and throws giant adult temper tantrums. Eventually, he realized I was getting more serious about leaving and started growing up . Hopefully it’s permanent … because if it’s not, and we go backwards again… I don’t know if I can stay

[@NileGoddess]

@@Jaxmusicgal23you can get protection against the emotional abuse on children

[@EsthersDryBones333]

Yep!! THIS IS WHY MOTHERS STAY. TO absorb so the kids dont have to. This right here!!!! Otherwise you leave your chikdren defenseless.

[@mary-janebelec9082]

Breaking things is threatening violence. The threat of violence IS VIOLENCE.

[@privateinfo1711]

my mother has been pitching fits as long as i remember. She's close to 90. Still a toddler.

[@branflanbutler6133]

My father was (is?) this way. My mom stayed with him. It’s set a really bad example for me (the daughter) in what women are supposed to expect from men and my first husband was abusive. It set an even WORSE example to my brother how to be a husband, and he is abusive

[@hiddenhand6973]

My dad was this way and now I will not stand to hear my husband raise his voice or take a tone with me. I correct it on the spot with a firm warning. I won’t have it. Lived through that as a kid, not going to continue that as an adult kthanks.

[@name9601]

fawn/fight. different trauma responses.

[@TipTheScales27]

Why are men like this 😢 Why would a little boy emulate that??

[@dianaprince7713]

Sarah, leaving is the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship. Plan quietly, use incognito mode on your phone and computer while doing this, get a PO box, set up a different bank account, get your and your children's important papers - make copies and keep them at your friends house, turn off geo location on your phone then leave. Have custody paperwork made legally, even in separation, because the parent who has physical custody of children can keep physical custody of the children when there is no legal mandate. You've been trained to not trust your instincts, but you can. You already know your MIL is full of it and your husband only goes after your possessions or gifts You've given him to hurt you. If he treated you like this on the first date, would there have been a second date?

[@thenewmexicantexan]

Woof, I've been there before, minus the kids. It did eventually turn into him attacking me physically even though I was so sure he would never do something like that. Sarah, don't even let a friend treat you this way, let alone your partner. Best wishes. ❤

[@DannaShaffer]

Sarah, they’re never horrible all the time. They are the person you fell in love with sometimes. But you need to accept he’s the monster too. And you and your children can’t live with a monster. Your children are being permanently damaged mentally and emotionally. This normal to them and they seek it out in their relationships when they’re grown. Only it’s usually worse than what they grew up with. So break the trauma bond and protect yourself and most importantly your babies. If you can’t do it for you, do it for your children. Show them that that behavior is unacceptable and not ok. And be honest with them about it, without bad mouthing. But do not protect him to your children. They deserve to know it’s not ok and definitely not normal.

[@name9601]

commenting so can refer to.

[@melkerner]

Anger is a secondary emotion - Sometimes anxiety drives that, not dealing with inner issues (PTSD, CPTSD), childhood issues, abandonment, chaotic homelife growing up, etc.. You spend years not understanding why you are overwhelmed and you react the wrong way. It destroys your relationships - you have got to address it and understand why you have anxiety, what your triggers are and how to recognize when you become dysregulated - and HOW to address it in a healthy way instead of reacting in the moment. Some people can't do this, some spend decades in this without understanding it and then if you are lucky, finally address it before you destroy your loved ones and yourself. Get help from a therapist, it works if you want it to.

[@Morelli-i4f]

My husband would do this... Until it got to the point that he would throw things "towards" me but he would say it wasn't thrown "at" me (it was). He would prevent me from leaving and even spat in my face once. We had 3 kids and I was too much of a coward to leave. However, I finally told him I hated him and hated being around him and how he was an abusive man and our kids are going to continue the trend of either being abusive or being the abused victim... He started crying (he's a war vet and had severe PTSD but also never ever cries unless he thinks of his time in the Marines and his friends killed). The man changed. He's a COMPLETELY different man. I can't even recall the last time he has thrown or yelled. He is loving, gentle and thoughtful. He even cleans the kitchen up for me when I'm done with dinner. He took a ballet class with our 6 yr old because it was parents day. He did all the moves her teacher taught them and our daughter was smiling from ear to ear. Nevertheless, it took me telling him how I truly felt about him and told him that he was going to wake up alone one day and die alone for him to finally realize he's abusive, has PTSD and needs help. Not all marriages change like mine did. I hope this one ends up changing for the good like mine did. Such a hard place to be in but she shouldn't put up with the abuse.

[@Jaxmusicgal23]

That’s pretty much what started my husband changing too. He had finally gotten me so worked up that I screamed in his face that wish we never gotten married, and that he lied to me about who he was when we were dating . So let him know that all the stuff he was concerned about secrecy was not me cheating on him… though he likes to blame my friendship with our former pastor and call it “emotional affair”…. Which it wasn’t. as soon as I realized he cared about me as more than a friend and started showing it in unspoken, but obviously ways… I immediately pulled away from the friendship. But supposedly, I still had an affair with him “ emotionally”🤷‍♀️ Yeah, it’s not an affair for my husband when he jacks off to completion while watching pornography on many websites constantly . he’s now dealing with that, but I don’t appreciate considering what I did an affair, but what he did was not, and he downplays it and the effect it had on me. I told him even if it wasn’t emotional fair that should be a sign of a problem not a reason to be angry at me because women don’t do that kind of stuff, unless something is missing in their marriage . But I did respect him, and moved away from that friendship because I respect him and my marriage so much. And then told him the truth, that a lot of the secrecy was me trying to plan away of escape in case things continue to be bad, because I was pretty much done and wanting legal separation so I could sort my own head out and get some help . Kind of like a last ditch effort to save our marriage. I had gotten to the point and have gotten to the point where I have absolutely no romantic feelings for my husband. I do love and care about him as a woman but it’s gonna take a long time to develop those back again. He seems to be changing albeit slow. The only thing I’m concerned about is he has “changed” before and it usually will last for a few months and then we were right back to the same dysfunction. Though this is the first time that I’ve actually shown proof that I was not just saying I wanted to leave, but that I was actually making plans to leave, even if it meant, leaving our nice house, and all the people we knew who were not in support of my decisions. Time will tell whether or not this is permanent but I really really hope and pray it is because if it’s not, and we spiral backwards, I feel like I am pretty much done … I tried everything for a decade, and even for most of that thought it was me who was the problem, so I got all the help I could possibly get and tried to heal from my past trauma… but it did not fix everything obviously. I’m tired of the worse of me coming out because I get pushed so far I break… that is still on me, and it is still my responsibility to not get there… it’s really hard when someone pushes every single one of your buttons once they get upset. Again, my responsibility to recognize and walk away. It shouldn’t be like this and I pray that the kids will start seeing improvement as well as me .

[@westernredcedar4033]

You are fortunate, and your experience is extremely rare in the world of abuse.

[@sarahrobertson634]

He's just biding his time. It's an act.

[@djlivvy46]

​@@Jaxmusicgal23- trying to leave a relationship is one of the most dangerous times in a woman's life. I don't think you should have told him you were thinking about leaving. Please be careful.

[@whoknows7577]

Did it work? Did he change? Honest ask

[@FreeSpirit47]

This sounds like the piece of work I was married to. He had extreme control issues. In place of having a conversation like an adult, he would attempt to manipulate & control. When he couldn't manipulate or control me, he destroyed things. My things. One night, I had worked hard to cook a nice dinner, the table was set, he came home from work. Our children were looking forward to it after the delicious aroma. Their dad came home from work, announced that he was taking us out for dinner. Calmly, I told him, "No, I cooked dinner, we waited for you. He sat down & pouted all through dinner. After dinner he got up, took my wedding dress from our closet. He took the dress out of the box, fired up a blow torch, burned the dress. He had broken my things before, when he was upset with me. I told him that he was acting like an idiot. His reply was that I was never going to need it, anyway. Later that night, he expected me to be all lovey dovey hot for hubby. Nope. He became angry. Froze me out for the next 3 days. Such a jerk. That's just one abusive episode out of so many that killed my love & respect for him. When I filed for divorce, he told everyone it was because I was cheating on him which was a lie.

[@Jaxmusicgal23]

Wow…. if my husband burned my wedding dress over, not being able to go out to dinner… yeah that would be the end for me especially if he was expecting intimate time after throwing a giant temper tantrum and doing that.. Like, what did you think was going to happen? You think that makes a woman want to be with you? No, it makes us want to run the other direction! It’s never gotten that bad, but he definitely has blamed me for stuff that it should be on his shoulders . With how he acts and neglect duties, and and or the kids/our relationship.

[@FreeSpirit47]

@@Jaxmusicgal23 The ex broke many of my things. I LOVE to do needlework. Better than drinking or cocaine, right! There was a set of needlework patterns that were very expensive that I didn't think I would ever be able to have. When I found them in a thrift store for less than $5. I was thrilled! He *hated* my needlework & time I spent doing it. Probably because it didn't involve him & so many people remarked at how beautiful my needlework was. When I looked for the needlework patterns, I had gotten at such a steal, I couldn't find them. For a week, I looked, thinking maybe I had misplaced them. Two weeks later, when he came home from work, he sat his brief case down. I decided to look in his briefcase. There were the needlework patterns, he had taken a hole puncher to them so that they were unreadable, useless. When he saw the patterns in my hand, he just smiled at me & said "OOPS". Right or wrong, I went out to the garage, grabbed each of his fishing poles, snapped each one & yelled "OOPS". That was the only time I retaliated like that & it felt so good! He cheated on me several times, lied to me, spent money behind my back. I realized it was never going to be any better. Leaving then divorcing him was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Unfortunately, our children sided with him even though they had witnessed his cruelty toward me. Only one person out of all the people who I thought were my friends, stuck by me.

[@patriciaalbertson5183]

That's one of the sickest things/ Shame on him. Thanks buddy...yeah you are right ..won't be needing that...sorry I wore it at all. He's a tortured soul

[@djlivvy46]

​@@FreeSpirit47- unfortunately loyalty to the patriarchy is strong.

[@tonyascott7887]

Had a toddler husband. 14 years of it. Finally broke out when I learned about another woman. That was the gift I needed to leave finally. I’m with a great calm grown man now. There is life after living with a grown toddler.

[@thatamychic3517]

Sarah was telling the story of my life. I've never heard someone tell my exact story before. So I can read in between her words and fill in what was best left out in order to protect herself and her children from harm while she's still under the same roof. And it's like John is speaking to me alone.

[@planepirate]

A police officer who's abusive at home?? What a shocking development! /s

[@cg741graf5]

We just had another suicide and murder by a cop in NY: he killed both young boys, wife, and self. Please please please Be careful be safe.

[@annabelfarrell9541]

That was my ex husband! I ran eventually and spent the next 20 years healing, physically, emotionally, spiritually. Thank the goddess we had no children. Still one of the hardest things I have ever done but so required. Saved my life really. And he never saw me again...into the wind is the only way out of these type of situations. I hope this lovely lady and her children get away and find the safe and joyful life they deserve ✨️🙏💖

[@clairew6043]

I've just left a similar relationship after 9+years thankfully we had no children together

[@davinasquirrel7672]

I am only in 3.5 minutes into this one, and I can say with confidence, he is not 'a toddler', he is an abuser in his early stages. Breaking things (gifts you have thoughtfully given him) is a way to hurt your self esteem. More often abusers actually choose things more important to her. It is never an accidental rage thing, it is a carefully selected target/item, to do the most emotional damage. It is never about him 'losing control', but actually about controlling her, and these are the ways he does that. When that fails to work on her, he will up the ante to something else (usually harming her, the children, or even the pets), whatever works for him to control her. There is no ultimatum, boundary setting, appeasing, or reasoning that will work in this situation, and the old "don't negotiate with terrorists' is particularly apt. The reason most of us in the dv sector advise against either ultimatums or threatening to leave (or leaving in front of him), is that signals a loss of his control over her, and this is what gets women and children killed, because he will keep escalating until his control is re-established. And if he cannot, it becomes murder time. This is where Dr Delony continually drops the ball on these calls. Advising ultimatums, boundary setting, even announcing leaving. Do any of those things, the situation with an abuser will escalate, sometimes fatally. What we do advise is to be stealth about leaving. Save money. Move important or treasured items to a secondary location. Leave when he is not there. Be careful with your phone (or car) in case there is a tracking device. Get advice from the closest women's dv centre. These are not 'broken relationships', but hostage situations. My aim, always get the hostages out safely.

[@davinasquirrel7672]

Further into the call. A police officer? OMG - cops and military dudes have two to three times the rate of being dv abusers than 'regular' men. The wives and girlfriends of cops have to be additionally careful, given abuser cops will illegally access information to track her down.

[@michellebe-t3p]

My 1st husband was exactly like this ..and it truly is like dealing with another ‘child’ and takes the mom away from your real children! Don’t stay cause you and your children will not have a healthy happy life.

[@jungersrules]

Oye, she's in some deep denial. She's a married single mom. And, her so called husband is another kid. Another kid on the way?!

[@chrystallee1563]

Sounds like my ex husband. Always had tantrums when he ‘didn’t get his way or all attention wasn’t on him’ glad I divorced him.

[@analozada9475]

Oh boy…as a survivor of severe DV/SA and attempted murder, I can see all the signs and red flags of an abusive relationship that will never end up well. I know leaving an abusive relationship is extremely hard (It took me 9 years the first time and 8 years the second time) specially if one has kids and depends financially on the abuser. She needs to start planning and finding ways to get out as soon as she can, and before is too late. 🥺😢 Also, I’m astonished that she works full time besides taking care of several kids, wowza! 🙈 I really don’t understand why women keep having children with their abusers. That’s one thing I’ve always swore to myself…to never have kids with the abusers. Thank goodness never got pregnant by these psychopaths and pedophiles! 🥺🙏 This poor girl has been so brainwashed into the abuse…I remember being in the same situation! 🙈😩😭

[@thenewmexicantexan]

❤❤❤ sending you love for what you've been through! I hope you have found peace now.

[@analozada9475]

@@thenewmexicantexan Thank you much! I appreciate the well wishes. And yes…I’ve found peace, healing (via therapy and a healthy environment), and true love with my wonderful current partner of 12 years! ☺️🙏✨🫶

[@okaycola2]

I understand why feminists are pro abortion now

[@SoulfulVeg]

I don't get why women continue having kids with these terrible men. I was in this situation, but I resolved not to bring another life into that hellscape. It made it easier to leave.

[@analozada9475]

@@AlexisDavis16 I’m glad you have healed and that you are in a better place. 🙏💛✨ it’s wild to look back and see how brainwashed and injured we were, and how much healed and better we are now. It’s a blessing, cuz many women don’t make it out alive. 🥺😢

[@cur244]

John should really do a couples show where both are on the phone. Not for a story like this but in general it would be interesting and helpful for people.

[@flashthecorgi2053]

He did just recently and let’s just say WOAH. It’s called we’re on the verge of divorce! Jan 8th, 2024

[@cur244]

@@flashthecorgi2053 Thanks I'll have to check that out.

[@MrsK976]

This man won’t tell the whole truth. It would be useless. It would just make him mad at her. He doesn’t think he is to blame. He is a narcissist.

[@jenniferhuerta9824]

Sarah, run please my love. Run.

[@josalmon4742]

Oh me. So glad this precious mother has your advice.

[@JennyLouLou]

Smashing things and/or breaking things is a form of domestic violence.

[@belindacoba5158]

One of the most important things that pregnant women need is calm, this situation is putting her and her unborn child at risk

[@maureenchevalier3751]

"The data would tell me you're next" 100% grab your babies and run run run! ❤️

[@queensavage9896]

Sarah, you are enough! You deserve the world. Love yourself and those innocent gifts. Stay safe. ❤😊

[@ithinkigottalent4047]

If he's that reactive, I would leave asap 🏃🏾 screw giving him another warning ⚠️

[@user-cg8if3eq7d]

Abusers always say "I wouldn't have done this if you hadn't made me mad" This will get more stressful and more dangerous.

[@rachybooo]

This made me finally realize after 12 years, 3 precious babies, and my mind constantly racing and wondering what I should do, that it's time to leave. I love him. Don't even know why anymore. My health is declining in rapid fashion, and I'm losing myself completely. Have been unable to do anything because I believe I have been stuck in freeze. Thank you for your wisdom, Deloney. Scared to death, but I have to make myself do this. For my kids, since I can't seem to do it for me. I needed it to be spelled out for me, I guess. Thanks for that.

[@SpoonHurler]

If he's smashing things on purpose (targeted objects that she cares about, not breaking his ps4 controller it's not an accident) then there is no decision to be had. It's worse than screaming because that at least can be constructive and it lingers less than the aftermath of smashing valuables. It's completely a power play and you have to leave fast and preferably when they aren't around or with someone there that can protect you. If not for you, for your child.

[@spriggy4382]

Oh of course he's an LEO. In that case, not only is there no hope for rehabilitation, but he has intimate knowledge of firearms and i'd be willing to bet money there are guns in the home. He's also got a whole gang of abusive men (the PD he worked for) willing to lie for him and protect him from legal reprecussions. Which means there is NO ONE she can call for help. She has to leave.

[@Kcducttaper1]

How the dilly did you get to the assumption that his entire PD is abusive and will cover for him? I personally know several current, and former, PD and S.W.A.T. cops that would absolutely rip this boy a new chute if they heard what this man-child was doing to his family! No doubt, cops like this pig-child should be fired immediately, and permanently. No doubt there are definitely some bad cops out there, but to assume their whole PD is just as corrupt simply because they're in the same department is making some pretty insane assumptions.

[@privacyplease1556]

That’s exactly what I thought. Former cop basically guarantees no chance or reconciliation. He will react violently when she goes. She will likely need an order of protection.

[@charminglady2011]

What does being a Leo have to do with this? I am a Leo and never done any of this.

[@terribrun9207]

@@charminglady2011exactly. Being in law enforcement does not equal abuser.

[@spriggy4382]

@@terribrun9207 no, only 40% of the time. 40% of all LEOs are known domestic abusers. If you aren't one yourself, four out of 10 of your colleagues are. I'm not comfortable with those odds. Worse, if you know it's happening and do nothing to stop it, you're the real evil. ACAB.

[@Yo-yoSushi65-jl5xm]

Yooo this is kinda relatable 😭 my dad’s less extreme - he’ll just do the dishes loudly, stomp around, rip up papers, etc 🤦‍♀️ as an older teen, sometimes I feel like im the parent and i gotta treat my 50 yr old father like he’s 2 It concerns me that this woman has rly young kids in the house-the level of anger she’s describing will either terrify her kids, or teach them that tantrums r normal & “if daddy’s acting this way, why can’t I?”

[@okaycola2]

Yep

[@jenniferbujak2307]

my dad was like that and i have cptsd from the walking on eggshells people pleaser believing something was wrong with me causing his anger…. And thats how i ended up dating narcissists ( unknowingly)because it seemed familiar. 😅

[@angeronal]

@@jenniferbujak2307 This.

[@amberklein1560]

Get out! You won't realize how bad it was until YEARS after your life is settled and full of peace. This is experience talking. He sounds EXACTLY like what I've seen. I'm SO sorry.❤

[@amethystfeathers7324]

Exactly. You can hear her accepting his behaviour over and over. He has no incentive to change because she's enabling his behaviour.

[@kellibuzzard9431]

PHEWWWWW. Tough. The relational problems people face are crushing. John did such a great job at speaking the truth in love.

[@wenchyfoodwench4098]

Leave him. I would never tolerate that dynamic. It’s abuse. She has to get this.

[@bpratt201]

I lived what you are living, I left and it was the best decision I ever made. It will be hard at first and you’ll feel like your life has fallen apart, but I promise you it’s worth it.. two years later I have a peaceful home and control over my life. You can do it! ❤

[@jeffknowlton5200]

Kudos! That's awesome you were able to get the help you needed! Not all of us can. Money is usually an issue. A lot of us have to white knuckle it.

[@Jaxmusicgal23]

Yep. That’s what stopped me. And realizing that unless I can prove in court that he would abuse the kids verbally and neglect them… the kids will still have to deal with him, and it will be with him by themselves without me there… I don’t like that option. He has been acting different in a better way than he ever has so maybe he’s figured it out …. Finally…. But right now I’m not holding my breath . I’m praying that God helps me through this . If he permanently changes, I have no problem with staying, but if he falls back into the same crap again … this last time was the last time. I will be ready to get the help I need and pray my way through this . I really hope it doesn’t come to this because I do love and care for him but I also can’t keep falling down into this dark rabbit hole with him … Especially for the kids and for my own sanity /mental health.

[@marymcphersonwilkins2897]

This was my first marriage. It only gets worse. This poor woman.

[@andarwarje8127]

Breaking your stuff on purpose is abuse. This is abuse.

[@debbieanderson6740]

Mantrums! I can tell you about those through the years. Mostly because his life hasn't gone the way he hoped. Unrealistic expectations. Sarah: take care of your babies and yourself! Leave him if you need. Find a safe place!

[@katrina3560]

​@@dabd8175Accountability is so HaRd. These chats are for adults. Go sit in the corner.😂 ​

[@nmalele0909]

​@@dabd8175sounds like you have tantrums yourself 😂

[@lindsay3793]

Disregard resident incel @dabd8175 He is forever bitter that no woman would touch him with a ten foot pole. Just leave him to his video games and Andrew Tate sausage fest feed.

[@jet4653]

You know if it was a female calling in he would be saying “typically female emotions” lol! Anyways Ms. Debbie, I agree!

[@caroldorsett8170]

They don’t change and you never know when the switch turns on or what turns it on,so you never relax. If you relax then it hits you out of the blue when you are so unprepared to protect yourself.

[@gessrinky9129]

I grew up in a house like this. I moved back home for two years and the abuse continued. It’s awful. She needs to get the children away. We are no long their frustration outlet!!!

[@cherylhughes2988]

May I suggest narcissistic personality disorder? I was married to the same man. He threw things, broke things, screamed, belittled me, but he also eventually quit working and drank himself to death. No way was a having kids with that monster.

[@donnabennett4075]

As someone who grew up in a household of this exact nature, please don’t subject your kids to this environment!

[@Star-lighting-A]

Sending you love, Sarah. Yes, you need to leave dear. You never know when it will be you next. He is not right in his mind. So sorry to for you to be going thru this.

[@BG-nm5xt]

OMG look for a way out, move in with family, get your kids and self away from him ASAP. The behavior is damaging and traumatic to you and the kids. This is TRAUMA, PTSD and you can't expose yourself and kids to this. Don't confront him without friends or family present for safety because he could easily escalate and threaten, scare, attack you.

[@8nin827]

This person needs to understand how traumatic and possibly physically dangerous this behavior is for the children.

[@Didi-fr5ic]

Never be afraid to leave a man no matter what!!

[@TheLifeProvided]

I broke down hearing this call. This is exactly how i felt and acted just a few months before waking up in the hospital, getting my head stapled back together. If your heart says it's not safe to tell him, leave in the quiet. Praying for you.

[@alittlepieceofearth]

Yeah, my jaw is tightening, too.

[@ShelleyJane]

I needed Dr John to talk to me about this between 2004-2008!

[@jennafaith1512]

This hits home. I was married to someone similar to her husband for many years... I'm divorced now. I should've done it years ago.

[@palomacortez2539]

My husband has been giving me the silent treatment for more than a week. On another note I’m just tired of always being the one to go out of my way to work things out and this morning I just noticed he turned off the electric panel so I can’t cook.

[@devonshandsmelt]

Oh he’s a cop! Makes sense.