I Cheated on My Wife 8 Times (How Do I Tell Her?)

I Cheated on My Wife 8 Times (How Do I Tell Her?)
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[@rebeccaoprea9917]

Confession is not repentance. Confession is getting things off your chest so you feel better while the other person now carries your weight . Repentance is changing your ways .

[@haleytruslow7200]

Well said!

[@minoozolala]

Did you listen to the video? He said he hasn't cheated the past 5 years. He has obviously changed how he acted when he was 18-21 years old.

[@tamickawilliams1370]

🙏 Amen

[@tamickawilliams1370]

@@minoozolala And...lol You know 8 is a sideways infinity. It is all about trust once you break it almost impossible to get back. Even she stays she will always be wondering and that is the torturing part that drives ppl to say good-bye.

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

@@minoozolala I’m halfway in . Lol

[@liesavillandre3481]

8 different people is not a mistake, that is a lifestyle.

[@flowerchild3312]

Sounds like sex addiction ! He should not be married or in a relationship!

[@GuessTheFondMachine]

​people can recover from sex addiction.

[@flowerchild3312]

@@GuessTheFondMachine They Can with alot of Work , Starts from their own acknowledgement awareness professional therapy dedication and Work

[@loriforman3367]

"Closet" lifestyle

[@ashleygrant3131]

@@flowerchild3312what’s out maybe if the wife was willing to give him more sex? Not blaming her or saying it is her fault in any way- I’m simply saying that, I know myself, with my own husband- he has a very high sex drive and lots of needs and I often don’t feel like it- but I offer myself up to him because I know if he gets it at home, he will not stray- and he never has! 😊 just sayin, sisters! ❤

[@stevenjamison5896]

You can start by asking for a divorce. You clearly don't love or respect her and she deserves better.

[@cocogirl727]

According to a sexual exposure chart, if he had 8 partners and if each of the 8 had the same numbers of partners, then he has exposed himself to 255 people. What is disturbing is that his wife had been exposed as well. He has no regard for his wife's health. What a jerk!!

[@kelseyk530]

And in today's degenerate society, sleeping with 8 people is a very low body count so the 8 people he slept with dozens of times and those other 8 people are likely each with 30-100 people based on their age, promiscuity, slutty college years racking those bodies up makes me want to throw up that hypothetically he could've been exposed to 1,000+ sexual encounters with and between those 8 people.

[@lilithowl]

Lot of assumptions there, he may have had safe sex.

[@matinaki1644]

​@@lilithowlthis is an assumption too 😂

[@sp4cegrl27]

@@lilithowlcondoms aren’t always 100% effective.

[@AppleBottomJ]

@@lilithowleven with condoms is still happens. If the condom even slips slightly during penetration the man/woman can get an sti/std. Happens way too often and people are always surprised when they test positive.

[@taytayqueen7024]

The audacity of this guy to portray himself as a victim.

[@Astro95Media]

That happens invariably with cheaters. My ex-wife blamed me for her affair with a kid from her work and the resulting divorce in which she lost everything. They will NEVER see themselves as the problem. It just doesn't happen.

[@dhritikapoor2897]

I really didn’t think he portrayed himself as a victim

[@b.1162]

I never take a cheater's side and I don't think he portrayed himself as a victim. Surprised by it, in fact, because it is so common. I just think he didn't have the emotional maturity to comprehend exactly how life-altering being cheated on is. It's the death of two people.

[@Astro95Media]

@@b.1162 I think he’s doing so by talking about how keeping the secret is affecting him, rather than by grieving how his actions will affect his wife. That’s what’s bothering a lot of people listening.

[@b.1162]

@@Astro95Media Sure, but that's because he doesn't know how it will affect her. All he knows is how he feels. He's definitely lacking in empathy, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't recognize that she's the real victim in all this.

[@LauraLParr]

Okay so you didn’t cheat 8 times, you cheated with 8 different people. That’s different dude. God knows how many times you have cheated. Let her go man. She deserves better than what you can give her today.

[@tjmcavoy-jensen871]

I thought he said they are not married anymore?

[@marcusarelius]

Completely agree. Beyond evil. Crazy that the guilt finally caught up with the narcissist

[@wittyusername9544]

I was thinking is it 8 times with 1 woman or 1 time with 8 woman or a mix: 4 times with 2 woman or 3 times with 2 woman and 2 times with 1 woman.

[@LauraLParr]

@@tjmcavoy-jensen871 they weren’t and then he came back and she said yes to him coming back

[@nmc1859]

1,000 + times...

[@claireemily1983]

The cheating isn’t going to hurt her half as much as the deception is

[@miboogaroo]

Yep the smashing of trust is irreparable

[@v.m.4453]

Now imagine the hellfire if this were a woman admitting to cheating 8 times.... This guy is really something else.

[@ambertorres5358]

I don’t blame men for this I blame women who let their love for a person cloud their judgement of whether they should remain in relationship with someone capable of such deception. We say it’s ego but men don’t abandon their deal breakers, I never have and I never will but a lot of women do. It’s extremely important to make rational and wise decisions- you can listen to your gut (intuition) but don’t act on emotion.

[@Evil-Rod-Farva]

Delony would blame it on the dude because he wasn’t doing dishes or rubbing her feet.

[@omowhanre]

@@Evil-Rod-Farva are you incel-adjacent?

[@Evil-Rod-Farva]

@@omowhanre are you misandrist-adjacent? Sounds like you consider men who don’t get to mate beneath you. Involuntary celibate men wouldn’t have enough experience with women or marriage to make the comment I did. Your comment is just more of the same shaming tactics people use whom have nothing original or important to say or a valid argument. Delony and the Ramsey family are generally far more harsh critics of men than they are women. If you’re smart enough to realize they do that for $ and clicks you’ll understand why I made the comment I did.

[@omowhanre]

@@Evil-Rod-Farva Interesting 🧐

[@ttrev007]

I don't agree with "bringing it back to the present" he is in no position to dictate how the conversation goes. She has a right to get answers and decide what she needs to know.

[@amberparedes875]

My thoughts exactly. That was poor advice IMO.

[@juliezork7425]

As both a Marriage & Family therapist AND someone who lived the experience of a cheating husband, I can tell you that less is more. First off, listen again as John said to not go back “yet” and then later said there would be time for those “what happened back then” conversations at another time. Second point from me is this: once you hear it, you can’t ever unhear it. A cheater giving the details of when, how, where, what positions, the likes/dislikes, and every other specific detail will only give more “trigger points” for the cheated-on one down the road (i.e. “I can not see the sign for a Holiday Inn without thinking of you cheating,” “I can never go to that ice cream shop again”). This creates forever-mind-games. There also is the absolute fact that these questions just beg more questions and there will NEVER be an answer that is satisfactory, one that gets the victim to heal faster/better. And, because dishonesty is such a part of cheating there is doubt cast over every answer (“are they even telling me the truth in this moment?”). I’ve seen it too many times where a victim wanted “to know everything” and kept digging, kept going back to the details, and felt they had a right to know EVERYTHING, and ultimately remained immobilized to personally move on, whether they stayed in the marriage or not. I believe that the most important question to be answered by the victim is “can I get to the point (or back to it) of trusting this person again and am I going to stay in the relationship?” And he needs to decide if he can stay? (This is where therapy comes in handy). Whether this guy cheated one time, with one person multiple times, or with eight people…the specifics don’t matter. What’s important is that he was NEVER faithful to her, can he truly take responsibility and repent, and can he be different going forward? And can a relationship of trust be established? She deserves to be in a relationship where she implicitly trusts him and he deserves to be in one where he is trusted. If not…eroded every time!

[@Joey007ist]

He didn’t say to never discuss the details about past. More just to let the facts digest first, then discuss the information once it sinks in. It keeps the initial discussion from being even more destructive and harmful than it already is.

[@tonyamedsker213]

@@juliezork7425been there as well and when I had this conversation... I told him he had 1 chance to finish the conversation and if and ONLY IF HE ANSWERED EVERY QUESTION I HAD AND I DIDNT WANT HIM JUDGING WHAT WOULD HURT TO MUCH FOR ME TO KNOW!! It was THE HARDEST CONVERSATION WE EVER HAD BUT HE GAVE ME EVERYTHING I ASK FOR AND AS INSANE AS THIS WILL SOUND I HAD TO RESPECT HIM FOR HIS HONESTY AT THAT POINT... IT WAS NOT EASY BUT I SAID ID FORGIVE HIM ... and I did/have but forgetting well that takes time and consistency... People are different in how they handle things... so I think it should ABSOLUTELY be up to the person that was cheated on... just my opinion.

[@cu1728]

@@juliezork7425I was with you until you said he deserves to be in a relationship where he is trusted. He deserves it from someone he has not cheated on. If he has cheated on that person, he is not entitled to their trust but must earn it.

[@Dark_Souls_3]

When he said “my current wife” less than a min into the call…😂😂

[@annacooper7677]

Confused.. sounds like this is his ONLY wife but saying current makes me think he was married before. But he said they got married since he was 18 so that doesn’t make sense. Man. He’s…a lot.

[@joyoung9118]

Agree. That was a weird remark by him… “current wife”??

[@vivianworden]

This guy is a narcissist and he only wants to confess to clear his concious. 🤨

[@WendyH10]

Except narcissist don’t feel guilt.

[@nataliabusko1432]

@@WendyH10actually narcissists feel guilt and shame that’s why they create a mask and that’s why they need a supply

[@WendyH10]

@@nataliabusko1432 don’t you need empathy to feel?

[@nataliabusko1432]

@@WendyH10 empathy is about feeling other people emotions. They don’t need empathy to feel their own emotions and being all sorry about their own little pathetic asses

[@WendyH10]

@@nataliabusko1432 thank you for the clarification.

[@mikedoyle5901]

He is too intellectually shallow to know how this would affect her. He should stay moved on and let her find true love.

[@beautifulrecovery2337]

It sketched me out from the jump "my current wife"

[@katrina3560]

Good point, that was not addressed. How many wives are under his belt, I wonder.

[@lynnebucher6537]

I caught that too and thought it was an odd choice of words.

[@Musicienne-DAB1995]

I heard that too.

[@faithinthejourney6409]

I took it as he’s afraid when he admits to her after the conversation, she will not beat his wife. It’s him speaking his fear of what the conversation will change within their relationship status.

[@ember13dp]

He said they married at 18, he can't have had a former wife. Weird choice of words.

[@Bountie75]

And people ask me why I've been single since 2007... Well, guess 🤦🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

[@chrissyh8673]

What a disgusting excuse of a husband. I hope she takes him for all he’s got.

[@ap6316]

Smh. 18 year olds have no business getting married.

[@xxxxxxxxx1652]

what a selfish, selfish little man. i feel so sorry for his wife. 8 years is such a long time not to tell her about it. i hope she leaves your sorry ass and finds someone who will love her and respect her.

[@cucar8363]

What what what??? Just tell her and be prepared to end your marriage. Dr. Delony, please don't laugh with him. There is no fun at all. Only when you have gone thru this you will understand how hurtful and how much damage do this to a human being. I don't agree with telling her how many times, that's terrible!! One hurts enough. Don't let her go thru that please. She most likely is suspicious but not to that extend. We know, trust me.

[@truckingwithtobee]

You are absolutely correct. Dr. John should not be laughing with this man at all. I hope his wife leaves him. Being cheated on once is bad enough let alone eight times. My husband did this to me 3 years ago and I stayed and it’s been absolutely horrible. Because I’m so stressed out I continue to get shingles time after time. It’s because of stress. I’m actually having a tiny home built and I’m looking for land and I’m out of here. I can’t take it anymore. It has absolutely destroyed me.

[@dianac1411]

It’s a form of raping one’s soul. Complete devastation!

[@gmarie3053]

If you’re gonna break my heart, may as well tell me how many times and who with. I’d want to know before I never speak to you again

[@dearbrave4183]

Why? Because she could forgive him thinking that it was less when she wouldn't have, had she known the exact number. So, the risk of finding out later can destroy everything , no matter the progress because it would be considered a lie. Trust issues flaring up again

[@dearbrave4183]

@@truckingwithtobee I'm sorry. Being cheated on leads to insecurity, anxiety, hyper vigilance and bitterness. I have yet to meet a woman who stayed after learning about the affair who didn't have this.

[@stealthwolf1]

If John was as hard on people as I want him to be nobody would call in 😂

[@gooserich3970]

If he said 8 times its really 24 times.

[@madisonandthefarm]

Really?

[@gooserich3970]

Yep

[@Joel-pg4yi]

@@gooserich3970 how

[@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607]

Oh 100 fucking %. If not more

[@thescottman25]

What a loser. Cheating is an unforgivable sin in a relationship. She deserves better, and I hope she leaves him to find a real man.

[@Twinruler334]

You are going to destroy her life just to make yourself feel better. Shame on you.

[@cuentaccuentos]

he already treated her with utter disrespect. he should let her know so she can move on with a different person

[@sparklesp9304]

He's already destroyed it.

[@beaglerescue5281]

She deserves to know the truth about how despicable her “current” husband behaves behind her back.

[@earthling1984]

I only watched like half. But, if you cheated even once, you let that person go to find a real person that will love them for real, and you go be single and hope you can turn your life around and maybe have real love in the distant future.

[@d.b.1774]

He wants to confess so he can unburden himself, not because he has any consideration for his wife. I hope she decided not to pour more energy into someone who so clearly doesn’t deserve her.

[@turtle4614]

That's some deep stuff. 8 people in 3 years. That's the opposite of commitment there brother.

[@MelsDiner115]

Just let her go! stay single and don't get in a serious relationship ever. Dont deserve one. Stop messing other people's lives. Years from now, your punishment will burn you when least expected.

[@vanessaspeaks]

Why? How could someone do that to someone they claim they love?

[@XxhimynameiscynxX]

Odds are that she already knows this guy has been cheating but doesn't have the self respect or esteem to leave. Sad.

[@kaitlyn68863]

Let that poor woman go so she can find someone who truly loves her. That’s the most noble thing you can do. You don’t have to tell her you cheated, but tell her that you think there’s someone else out there who would make her happier and treat her better.

[@ARKenMan]

I think anyone can change. We're all sinners and have failures. But dude, if she forgives you, she's a rock star. Possibly still a rock star if she only burns your truck to the ground.

[@aladdout9454]

But if a woman had confessed to doing this I doubt you'd say that or most men.

[@v.m.4453]

I love this comment.

[@mirabella2154]

"We're all sinners." We don't commit the same sins though.

[@Yaurii]

Cheating 8 times is a conscious, well thought out decision. If she stays, she’s a plum fool and no longer a victim but a willing participant.

[@taytayqueen7024]

Any woman that forgives a man after he cheated 8 times is an insecure woman that needs help

[@kristaw2686]

it's more than 8

[@HPCsma]

Maybe not

[@funkyklunky.]

Just because he asked you to marry him doesn't mean he's worthy.... Hello this isn't Disneyland... Its a proposal for a reason. Not a forced marriage

[@Lanes8930]

What hes doing isnt brave. Hes a grown man who made bad decisions and now he should face the consequences of his actions

[@rdm98607]

Doc, really don’t know how you can have a civil conversation with these creeps

[@amde8554]

Lol “random people you meet over the internet”

[@thedude3364]

You don’t cheat on someone when you love them. Period. When I first met my fiancé I was playing in bands. Shows every weekend and doing “mini tours” that were regional. I had all of the same “temptations” around that people associate with rock stars, just on a much smaller scale. It never was on my radar to cheat. No matter how drunk or stoned I got, I never even felt lust towards the women that would hang around. It’s because I truly loved my lady with everything I had.

[@Ivy285]

Cheated with 8 different people? He is such a lowlife. He has a lot of nerve going on the air telling all of us before telling his wife.

[@princessirial]

He did not respect her during their marriage. He needs to do that mature thing and respect her descion on how she feels and where she wants to go from here.

[@zoomforceconsulting3889]

The person has the right to know and to move on...the deceit is disgusting...dark secrets are evil.

[@littlepixel1650]

Omg she has to leave. How oblivious is she ? She’s so young !!!!! Can find a good faithful husband like she is. This husband is worth absolutely dirt.

[@journeyon2489]

My soon to be ex husband admitted to me a year ago to cheating on me with multiple women throughout our relationship. We have been together for over 38 years and married 28 years. He killed me when he told me this. I could no longer love him the same. I felt betrayed on so many levels. My whole life i was faithful to this man. My whole life was lie. The trust is gone forever. He tried gaslighting me and say that i was cheating on him. His insecurities got the best of him. Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater

[@Musicienne-DAB1995]

Jesus Christ. How utterly horrific.

[@ophiecat]

This was the first time I ever heard a man succinctly put into words what it feels like to be cheated on. I am now a fan of the Dr.

[@dhritikapoor2897]

Oh god .This is such a tough situation. I rarely say this in case of cheating but hopefully this couple will be able to work it out for the better. And I hope this guy stays true to his words. But know that it will be a long time before Your wife trusts you again , if ever.

[@heathergallimore2593]

Sounds like he isn’t really sorry……. Sounds like he wants her to call it quits and this is his way out..

[@pixel956]

He had 8 different relationships not cheated 8 times

[@andrea6053]

You need to tell her in public at a coffee shop or something. Not in the house or kitchen where the skillets and knives are. Then again, coffee is hot so he might want to make sure he orders iced tea when they go out.

[@cmichele4280]

My husband of 31yrs cheated on me countless times. We have been divorced for 13yrs & to this day he still doesn't feel an ounce of guilt :(

[@cindyschimpf3317]

Who is he trying to help? Sounds like it can only hurt his wife to hear about the past, so he is just trying to assuage his guilt. ☹️

[@littlelam3691]

I don’t ever condone cheating. That being said, i do give credit to this man for wanting to be truthful and accept the consequences of that. He seems like a good man now. I hope he lives a happy life that he can feel good about, no matter the outcome of this.

[@Mystika777]

Cool, please go be his next! 👍

[@jborrego2406]

U must of been a cheater too

[@littlelam3691]

@@jborrego2406 never in my life! Nor would I. I dated one for a long time (like an idiot) and he never took this kind of accountability so i admire someone having at least that decency.

[@annescholten9313]

He just want to share his guilt, disgusting!!!

[@joannegregory3024]

He s wants to destroy her life, mental health, confidence, self esteem and trust just to make himself feel better what an arsehole

[@mts2457]

This all happened under 22.. that's basically a child still. Brain not even fully formed til 25, to make full rational decisions

[@chloel7224]

I'm 26. 6 months ago my partner of 12 years (since I was 14) told me he had a 4 year affair. I haven't seen him since but he messages me and says I'm not trying because I didn't love him. He refuses to sell the house and it's at a stage where it may need to go to court. Crushing!

[@tonyamedsker213]

NO LETTER WITH ANY DETAILS FOR HER TO HAVE THAT SHE CAN AND SHE WILL REREAD OVER & OVER & OVER!!! This is BEYOND SAD!!! My heart is broken for her!!! I hope she leaves his sorry ass!!! 😡

[@meganbishop8604]

Guaranteed that this coward of a guy ended this call and never went to tell his wife.

[@1463FJ]

Do the right thing and let her go have a good life with someone better.

[@YoYo_Ma]

If the wife had no idea, I would tell this guy to bear this burden himself. He's going to unload his guilt onto her...forcing her to question her while reality. She will never feel secure again. This is poison he's forcing her to drink, rather than sucking it up and feeling that guilt and his penance.

[@kimhesketh2016]

There are better men out there. She deserves to have that.

[@elettramia6380]

🤢 comments like this shows a lot of us how there’s some really weak females in our society. Women need to value themselves more

[@YoYo_Ma]

@Elettra Mia so how would you handle news of an affair? Personally, if I had an otherwise happy marriage, I would prefer not to know if my husband had slipped up once....like a one night stand on a business trip for example. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. If, however, my husband was a serial cheater or was having an ongoing affair...obviously i would want to know so I could make an informed decision about my future. Serial cheaters/affairs tend to get caught.

[@MariaLis-sc3gc]

​@@YoYo_Ma But this man is a serial cheater. He cheated 8 times with DIFFRENT poeple.

[@l.r.4006]

I'd rather be dead than spend my life with someone who doesn't respect me enough to abide by the basic commitment of marriage. The price of having self respect is that you can't stand to be around people who compromise your dignity.

[@drn13355]

How long have you been married "oh I don't know 7 or 8 years".

[@LunaRain01]

Are you kidding? I called a divorce attorney at 8 am the morning I found out. I knew there was no going back. I was the mistress from his first marriage. I knew he would never stop. He learned from his father. 😑

[@traveler320ak7]

I found out and filed for divorce as well.

[@Musicienne-DAB1995]

To be brutally honest, isn't this partly your fault? You helped ruin his first marriage, then married him despite knowing he wouldn't stop being dishonest?

[@wholesome122]

If she isn’t vaccinated for the cervical cancer std and he passes that on to her…

[@jeanlaubenthal698]

A minute in and I think he wants to tell her so SHE has to leave.

[@mmckenzie8085]

I thought I was the only one that had this thought cross my mind until I found your comment. It is all about him.

[@CherryJuli]

First mistake was marrying the Highschool sweetheart at the ripe age of 18. That’s just never a good idea. He sounds like someone who isn’t relationship material but decided to be in one anyways.

[@Nikaroooo]

Why say anything? Why blow her world apart? If you need to rid yourself of guilt than find a pastor. Good God.

[@jchess78]

This dude is tripping. Let her go man

[@Myraisins1]

Dude don't say anything. Live the rest of your life making it up to your wife every single day.

[@cosimavonliebenau8317]

Wow, what a sanctimonious deluded fool. After constant cheating he wants to dump this narcissistic garbage on his wife and wonders ‘how best to support her’. Words fail.

[@jmo4521]

I think you are fooling yourself if you think she doesn't already know this. Some women don't value themselves and will put up with anything to not be alone. She knows who you are and what you have done. She has surrounded herself with denial. Wait until she tells you how many times she has cheated on you! Liars often marry liars.

[@Roosterboi21]

I think the letter idea is wild. She is not gonna want that at all.

[@lu7609]

I do not think he should tell her. I think that is also a selfish decision to tell her. He wants HIMSELF to feel better.

[@karen-if7zq]

He never admitted.but he began.very.early to not.want our kids. It was devastating, before we were married he told me he wanted lots of kids. WHAT!!!

[@jodiburnett6211]

“My Current Wife” this says everything. Duuuuuude.

[@taneishiacrawford1464]

Naw he ready to leave and wants a reason now...😂

[@samscreations4717]

I hope his wife left him. If your partner can't love and respect you enough not to cheat then you leave. Id never stay with my husband if he cheated because he wouldn't be worth my time anymore. This guy is a POS and his wife deserves better

[@DontLetTheOldManIn]

She’s already taken him back once. When he says all this it’s over forever.

[@deborahbuffamanti4847]

He should never tell her. It will destroy their relationship.

[@sct4040]

This man is contaminated, I feel for his wife. Divorce him.

[@nursalie2626]

They got married young and although it’s not an excuse, he’s maturing. He recognizes his flaws but he’s respecting her now to tell her the truth and let her decide, with all the facts, what she would like to do.

[@RafaelaBittencourt-k3t]

She's very young, so she should leave him and find someone that treats her better.

[@kathymarie3723]

I would not tell her .

[@deborahortwine5283]

If I were his wife, I would calmly walk away and never come back. I could never be with someone who cheated on me. In fact, that’s what I did when I was dating one man and he did cheat on me. I didn’t explain anything. I just said we are done and never spoke to him again.

[@s.g.3737]

this video, like all of them i've watched on this channel, is almost indescribably quality content. Dr. Delony, good work! i look forward to watching your subscriber base grown in number as more & more people stumble upon your channel like i did several months ago.

[@ciao2315]

Dr John is right…it begins to erode everything.

[@AmethystSnow]

Why even get married? People act like marriage is mandatory. You can sleep around all you want just stop involving innocents in your bs.

[@ericaaubie860]

OMG THIS MARRIAGE IS DOOMED!! CHEATING ONCE, BUT 8 TIMES!! THIS MARRIAGE IS DOOMED!! NO MATTER WHAT THIS MAN WOULD DO TO ME HE IS OUT THE DOOR.

[@dixieflynn4177]

He shouldn't confess to his wife if it destroys her. He must not tell her to make himself feel better!

[@nicknelly1]

Everyone wants to throw around the word “narcissist,” but it’s such a buzzword. Every single person can be classified as “narcissistic” some way because it’s a sliding scale. Nobody’s perfect

[@BSCTrainerRob]

She's in her mid twenties she should leave and start over. Forget him

[@xxxxxxxxx1652]

exactly, its best that she leaves asap

[@coureenlawrence4915]

Why married if you know you are not ready to commit to one person? Also, why get married so young?

[@Molly_Belle]

@@coureenlawrence4915Exactly, he already cheated with 8 different woman. She’s young and can start over fresh. He already has to much baggage that she doesn’t have to deal with.

[@rebeccaspratling2865]

​@@coureenlawrence4915maybe their culture or religion? I know some religions and cultures make people feel forced to get married young. It's detrimental for most and leads to misery but when you believe having sex outside of marriage will make you suffer eternal hell fire, you choose the latter.

[@canecorsomom2023]

Not sure what her age has to do with it. I'm 41 and I'd leave. I can do bad all by myself

[@myyt3824]

He didn’t cheat 8 times. HE HAD 8 DIFFERENT PEOPLE COUNTLESS TIMES!!!!!!!!!

[@doompod]

Same thing.

[@doompod]

Oh I see what you’re saying. I didn’t watch the whole thing haha yeah if he did it multiple times with 8 different people then yeah, he cheated way more than 8x.

[@ObeyDaqSwaqq]

15* he cheated while dating

[@vanillaghetto]

And that was only the ones when he was married. He said that he cheated on her with multiple girls the entire time they were dating. So there are many more than eight. He is a dirtbag. Lucky for her, she hasn't had any kids with him, and can leave this POS, and never look back.

[@Contrarian-v7p]

​@@vanillaghettoHe never specified it was girls, he kept on saying people. 👀

[@grandma6552]

He starts by saying they got married when he was 18 - and married now for 8 years. My question is, why did he call her, in the first 30 seconds, "my CURRENT wife?????" Sure sounds like, deep inside, he expects his confession to propel him into a different future. So he's going to hurt her so that SHE ends the marriage and he won't have to DO it himself. WHAT A selfish COWARD!

[@PureJoySkinCareWaxStudio]

I heard that, too! [My current wife.]

[@continuousself-improvement1879]

He wants to play victim, doesn't want to be the bad guy who pulled the plug. He will keep hurting her bad enough until she leaves, then he will make up a story in his head that "she did not want to work on our relationship, she initiated the divorce." What a pos.

[@mollygrace3068]

Men like to cry about 80% of divorces being initiated by women, completely not counting how many times the husband left the marriage in all ways but legal.

[@thispersonrighthere9024]

i'll bet the wife is a tradwide who can't afford to leave.

[@80sbrunnette]

@@mollygrace3068not to mention WHY the women want a divorce… it’s probably because of loser men like this guy who cheats and breaks the household

[@lorinmotta9585]

If they are approximately 26, the best thing is to split up and start over. They're still young, and she deserves better. It's devastating, but if they have no kids, now's the time to make that move.

[@ambertorres5358]

You are spot on. I was thinking the same thing. I am a Holy Spirit filled believer in Christ but cheating is a Biblical out so bye bye bye 👋 . 26 is SUPER young. You have your whole life ahead of you at that point. A decade together is relatively short in comparison to their life expectancy. Next time, she will hopefully choose wisely…. there are always situations that reveal a person’s character. I have no doubt he displayed red flags in the beginning that she rationalized.

[@terriesmith2616]

I really dislike the term "she deserves better" , "he deserves better". There is no such thing as we deserve better. *"In life, we don't get what we deserve, we get what we are willing to tolerate"* -Tony Robbins

[@Gabster1990]

It doesn't matter if they are young or old, it's unacceptable to cheat.

[@STMARTIN009]

Yeah at 26 time is still on your side. I would say at 35 time is on your side. 40 and up probably not.

[@blueseptember2174]

​@@STMARTIN009what about 39 😅

[@dink-zn7kj]

My worst pain was when i found out my husband cheated on me all during our 27 year marriage. He was a bad husband too in other ways. i divorced him and he married 3 more times. I AM VERY HAPPY NOW AND FREE OF HIS BS AND LIES!

[@MinkesMom]

Good on you! ❤❤❤

[@Musicienne-DAB1995]

Jesus freaking Christ. Adultery is one of the worst moral crimes in existence.

[@AlyssaLopez-n1c]

Oh God how horrible :(

[@bnb0510]

27 years? Omg what a waste of your life with that idiot!

[@santafilipina9020]

Wife needs to take out the trash.

[@specialK180]

It makes me truly want to vomit that people can cheat once, twice, any amount of times, and then come home and kiss their spouse and lay down next to them in bed. How sickening. I've been through it and I just....... ugh, prayers for this man and definitely his wife.

[@alstroemeria227again4]

Yes! And the possibility of giving her a disease. It’s so terrible. This man does not love this woman.

[@monettevalliere]

So sickening!

[@LisaLisaCJ]

What’s sickening is how many married people actually believe their spouse is faithful. I started getting std tests when I was married because the reality is you may be faithful but your spouse may it be. My inbox, dms are always married men. And like I said earlier my ex husband has a harem. So if you are married and think your husband isn’t sticking it elsewhere you are delusional

[@seadragon1456]

@@LisaLisaCJ I concur! My husband drills for oil internationally and A LOT of the married guys he works with cheat. Full blown crazy segs. The guys throw week long family vacations where are the rednecks bring all their toys and brag once a summer. I told my husband that I couldn’t go knowing how dirty some of those men were. He may have to talk to them but I don’t. I don’t want to know their wives and kids and hear about all the stuff the guy does while overseas. It’s so hush hush between the guys and I know to much to keep my mouth shut. I would encourage every married woman to get tested if their man works out of state.

[@TheAustrianPainter87]

Meh. A man is as faithful as his options

[@JordanEvansMusic]

I’ve been in my relationship for 5 years and we’ve been married for 2 years. How the heck do people find time/opportunities to cheat. I don’t even talk to other women outside of church/work. But just from a sexual energy standpoint I don’t have anything left. Like I literally cannot fathom how I would find the time/energy to pursue that and hide it from my wife it seems like so much work to live your life this way

[@maybug88]

My friend literally spent his entire day on the field and still had the time to have a mistress on the side of the road. And a second baby on the way. People make time for what they deem important 🤷‍♀️

[@donaldlyons17]

@@maybug88 Not so sure about how that works!!! He and your friend seem very able so it likely is not work for them!!!

[@couchtater4621]

@@maybug88 So, what exactly do people like this deem important, other than what they want. Obviously being cruel, callous, selfish cowards don't seem to bother them.

[@mxusa8383]

There’s always time. You’re kidding yourself if you think otherwise. I get the impression he was paying for sex mostly. I could be wrong though. Paying would require little to no emotional effort and time to seal the deal.

[@mxusa8383]

There’s always time. You’re kidding yourself if you think otherwise. I get the impression he was paying for sex mostly. I could be wrong though. Paying would require little to no emotional effort and time to seal the deal.

[@sitcheyr9352]

Did he just seriously say it’s completely unfair to HIM that she won’t give him her full trust? 🤮 I hope she walked.

[@SquirtlePower809]

A guy like this is a complete hopeless narcissistic mess and no one deserves to be affected by this guy. He needs to be perpetually single and just sleep around, so that he doesn't keep hurting people. Cheaters are the fcking WORST

[@cwalker6911]

🤢

[@lenilove3284]

I think he said “it’s completely undeserving”, which is worst.

[@orielwiggins2225]

Pretty sure he was saying completely unfair for her to be in a marriage where she can't trust him because it's currently based on a lie.

[@sitcheyr9352]

@@orielwiggins2225 It sounded as if the husband was making clear it was unfair to him to not be fully trusted but we can just disagree on this.

[@haleytruslow7200]

I have a STRONG aversion to cheaters. And 8 different people? I hope she leaves and finds someone who deserves her.

[@thatboyruut2169]

Same !

[@l-train7876]

Does anyone NOT have a strong aversion to cheaters though??

[@Immigrantlovesamerica]

This infuriates me so much. This guy keeps her around for 8 years despite cheating on her time and time again. Now she wasted 8 years of her life loving a fraud. I would be okay with him serving time for it.

[@dr.jenniferma3914]

I also find it highly unlikely that he was cheating THAT much and isn't cheating now. Sounds like an addiction. Some people love "affair" sex best.

[@arpansaha8769]

Same goes for me too. I just can't stand those selfish assholes who justify their cheating behaviour and play the victim card. We deserve honesty and transparency in any relationship.

[@chitlinjuice]

I truly don't think it's possible to love someone and cheat on them. If you cheated on them, you never loved them or respected them enough in the first place. People think they love folks but the truth is shown with action, not words.

[@unattendedmessenger]

This is exactly why when men say that they'll love a woman even after they've cheated so many times but the other women that he laid down with he never gained feelings for. Then sometimes they'll go as far as leaving their wife for the woman they cheated with.

[@juliaarambula3153]

Totally agree. People without morals don’t understand that.

[@civildiscourse7626]

That’s the female perspective, men detach sex and love far more

[@lauren4109]

@@civildiscourse7626it’s not about the sex. The reason you can’t truly love someone else and cheat has nothing to do with detaching sex. Love is sacrificial. Love is never wanting to see your lover hurt; and would rather endure war than to be the CAUSE of their complete agony. Cheating on someone is like injecting poison inside of them daily. Of course men (and women) sometimes lust for others, but won’t cheat if they truly love because of the fact that they’d rather walk on coals than to KNOWINGLY and PURPOSELY betray and destroy their heart and soul.

[@civildiscourse7626]

@@lauren4109 I disagree, people are capable of hurting loved ones. If my sister got angry and knocked out my tooth, her very bad action doesn’t mean she doesn’t love me. We say someone doesn’t live someone to make it easier for us to leave but ultimately we should understand love isn’t everything a man can sleep with other women but then run into a burning building to save his wife the same day- ultimately though his actions in cheating aren’t good and she should decide wether or not his love is worth it.

[@AndrewTank]

He only wants to tell her so he can feel better.

[@KaylaJayMusic]

This. This is exactly it.

[@katiem6058]

Isn't that a good thing?

[@mrhoffame]

Well, yeah....and he would only be feeling BAD because he is carrying some guilt about the idea that he did something very wrong to her. If he wasn't feeling it was wrong to do that to her....he wouldn't need to want to "feel better". I'm not sure I get your point?

[@vaska1999]

​@@katiem6058It's utterly selfish.

[@lisap3628]

Yep he feels guilty so he'll dump the burden onto her. Then he feels better and she feels awful. He's a jerk.

[@midlifeandnailingit6342]

You tell her I cheated on you 8 times, so I’m going to file for divorce because you deserve better than me. Then you leave! Problem solved. This guy is unbelievable!

[@misspiscesdreamz]

💯 exactly atp he just needs remove himself from the marriage

[@dcg590]

They weren’t married yet

[@TheAustrianPainter87]

The next guy will cheat too😁

[@funnygaming2672]

@@dcg590 i dont know if he Canadian but if he was only dating for 1 year it equal of been marry here by the law automatically even with no paper! you just need to live with the opposite sex for 1 year ....if you dont want everything join you need to prove that you don't have sex /date this person to the government!

[@DianeWilliamsCurvyGoddess]

Love this plan!

[@amandabrittenden]

Cheating is a deal breaker in my marriage. I was cheated on many times before I met my husband and I know for a fact that he'd never do that to me, but if he did it would instantly be over. It would rip my heart out. I won't allow myself to be treated like that. My ex gave me an STD and still denied cheating on me. As if I'm stupid. That's not happening to me again. Be a man, tell her what you did and be prepared for a divorce.

[@jenn8179]

Same thing happened to my sister. He tried to tell her the STD was somethimg else. He's a real POS.

[@yemialemu9902]

Smh! I agree let her just divorce u she deserves better! My thing is why get married if u feel like stepping out.

[@Lala89856]

I got an std while pregnant and my fiance denied it

[@lindatorresinmotion5431]

@@Lala89856 Please dont marry this man, pregnacy is such a emotional time women dont deserve to be cheated on at all, but least during this time. And putting your health and the babys in jeopardy is heartless.

[@Lala89856]

@@lindatorresinmotion5431 Yeah, I didn't marry him. I moved out with my child and he played the victim which I expected it from him. I have peace now:)

[@AliciaMcIntire]

He isn't brave or wise; he just wants to make himself feel better. All he talks about are his feelings and how he is afraid of the consequences of his actions. He never mentions how she feels or how her life will be affected. Also, telling her in a letter is the coward's way out. He should have to look her in the face and tell her that he broke their vows with 8 people. What a dirtbag.

[@Aristaifly]

No question he is a scumbag but he only can talk about his feelings not hers. You have no idea what she feels. Maybe she want an escape, maybe she cheated 9 times, maybe she has a lover right now, maybe it opens up for her to experience with others, there just so many may be's.

[@Ilovedachshunddogs]

Well said

[@EmpressMermaid]

Very well said. I think he's still very immature, too. Maybe should have waited until he was grown up to marry.

[@karenKristal]

If she leaves him, imagine him attempting to get another relationship. Hes got no effing chance unless he just hides it for the rest of his life. Which kind of puts him in a similar situation in the future.

[@NatureFreak1127]

Exactly. I didn't like how John handled this at all. Or maybe he just wanted for him to reveal the truth for her sake. So he basically buttered him up to do it. I hope she leaves him.