How to Deal with a Toxic, Bitter, Vindictive Ex | "Baby Mama"

In this video, I will be discussing How to Deal with a Toxic, Bitter, Vindictive Ex | "Baby Mama" the challenge that many men face daily. That challenge is dealing with a toxic ex or baby mother that you have children with.
Depending on the age of your child, this could be a long time.
What led the relationship to be toxic can be a number of reasons. It tends to never be about the well being of the child. It’s either constant verbal attacks and harassment.
Or you could be dealing with one who is giving you the silent treatment. Either way, there is some mental instability there.
You cannot have a conversation with this person.
Their reality is warped and they are filled with anger and hate.
They want to see you suffer as much a possible.
They will hold things over your head like child support and not allowing you to see your child.
Their goal is to keep you oppressed and upset. They don’t want to see you do good or doing any better than you are or better than them.
They want you on your knees and would be happy to see you behind bars.
What you need to do: Block them on all social media. Any contact should be strictly about business and to the point. They want to know what is going on in your life. They will stalk you on there.
You can’t reason with someone who is unreasonable so don’t even try. You are dealing with someone who is emotional so definitely don’t even try.
Keep everything cordial and NEVER, EVER argue with them. This is what they want.
If they are trying to keep you away from your child, file documentation with the courts for visitation.
This person is like the devil incarnate and it can and will suck the life out of you if you let it.
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[@marcusavila2961]

There should be consequences for women on making false police calls or reports.

[@JRWisdom]

Indeed!

[@cellularintegrity.5924]

There should also be consequences for Any and all Emotional, Mental, and or Physical Damage to that Child.

[@justthetruth247]

Definitely

[@Shon9tilR]

I could and never would let a man suffer by keeping him from his child. That’s horrible. I don’t care how much I hate him. We don’t have to talk or see each other, but his child should be in his life. I hate women like that!

[@Shon9tilR]

RaiNS kftk Not me!

[@elenabonini6577]

That’s right❣️ These women are sick and twisted.

[@elenabonini6577]

RaiNS kftk I’m going to prey for you to meet on and I hope she blows your socks off. 😂 Don’t give up yet. We are out here. We are all just probably hiding from crazy Ex’s too❣️ 🤣😂🤣

[@raeo7963]

I feel the same way my kids love there pops I hate that fool but I drop the kids off too his place on his weekends why not

[@lblaze42]

I love you

[@allenmenefield4560]

Literally going through this right now smh. Mentally draining

[@JRWisdom]

I wish you the best bruva.

[@elenabonini6577]

Sending you positive vibes and blessings with situation. Please check out videos on Narcissist borderline personality disorders. I’m telling you a lot of these women have deep seeded issues that go way back.

[@erodedsenses2271]

Me too brother , one year old daughter involved and this is like hell .. any little thing is a problem ... hope things work out for you wouldn’t wish this on my worse enemy

[@alexandriaDMR]

Eroded Senses how is it going for you. My partner is going crazy too

[@erodedsenses2271]

Alexandria Rona just gets worse really to be honest, passive aggressive games, you just gotta ignore it ... I’m trying to but it really does mess with your head ...have to accept the baby mama just thrives off the drama and stay consistent my end.. I hope things improve for your partner... it’s hard enough being a single father now and all this other stuff is painful

[@geniusgza7]

Whatever you do don't play their game, don't argue back.and forth, this man is correct it's mentally draining and will suck the life out of you, it can destroy a man if you let it

[@JRWisdom]

Facts!

[@GMackBlaze8000]

#truth

[@brotherderrickcoaches]

Been through this and now i have primary custody GOD is good! Good video sir!

[@JRWisdom]

All the time! Thanks for tuning in!

[@Theghostguyx]

how did you get primary?

[@brotherderrickcoaches]

Ultra Fresh patience and a black lawyer but I was documented everything she was doing its a long story I'm gonna make a KZbin video on my channel about it soon

[@zakiyyahbarnes8638]

Congrats! My boyfriend is going through this very problem right now.

[@brotherderrickcoaches]

I want to say you are a great woman for being by his side while he gets through this test i wouldn't have primary custody if it wasn't for my queen. Yall stay strong i'm here for tips also and thank you for subscribing to my channel!

[@divine_godis]

This explains a lot... depending on the level of mental illness this can get really ugly.. too bad women WASTE thier lives doing these type of things...Nothing HEALTHY about it... Who in thier RIGHT SANE MIND does this? God cant bring new joy, love, or opportunity in your life like this... #therapist#counseling#healing #release#loveyourself

[@JRWisdom]

+Camika Maxey true indeed

[@elenabonini6577]

This is a great subject topic. Please Don’t forget about us women who are in relationships as a supportive partner of the men with toxic Ex baby mamas. A how to be a better supporter to this man. Also don’t forget that these women may have been toxic before these man came into their lives. If you have time could you do a video on how to deal with the borderline and narcissistic personality disorder type of baby mama.

[@JRWisdom]

Thanks for tuning in. I've done videos on narcissism and mental disorders with someone you love. You should check them out.

[@elenabonini6577]

J.R. Wisdom thank you for your suggestions. Your videos are quite impactive and very impressive. I love the personal interaction and attentiveness you give to your fan base. The message you bring to the community is so very very important. I thank you dearly for your time in regards to this subject. I have a few male friends who had these toxic baby mamas as mothers. Their struggle is immense and the lifetime of hurt that follows them is tragic. I can not tell you how much your encouragement to these fathers means to myself and them. You are not only offering support to the fathers you are also affecting change in the outcome of the children born to a toxic parent. Deep admiration for your work.

[@JRWisdom]

Thanks for your kind words. GRATITUDE.

[@elenabonini6577]

J.R. Wisdom not just words of kindness. You are what I call the urban hero’s of the community. You have a calling and you headed it. The work you do is more important then words could outline. I don’t pay lip service. I speak from the heart and from years of experience working to heal this particular demographic in hopes to save a nation. The way to control people is to take away their leaders. America has been taking fathers out of the home since Vietnam. I am not a conspiracy theorist, these are hard facts. Separating immigrant children from the solidarity of family is how you create detachment and create a lost civilization. Now I have said too much. Never mind my rant. You just keep doing what your doing. Your work matters.

[@elenabonini6577]

J.R. Wisdom Merry Christmas 🎄 🎁 and thank you for looking after the people. ❤️

[@buckwildkowboy2785]

Men it's not worth going to jail or loosing your career by trying to have a relationship with your child/ kids. WALK AWAY. Those kids/child will eventually contact you when they are older

[@Nobodyscool]

Buckwild Kowboy facts

[@steve3790bday]

U think so? My son will b 5 on the first of next month ...I’m just tired of goin through the mom to see him

[@mamajekyl8440]

Buckwild Kowboy What? Get real honey! Those kids will babe all her less brainwashed into their very souls. You can't wait to be a father. Is not a later job.

[@AAMUteacher04]

Buckwild Kowboy I agree! Just pay the money and walk away.

[@marquisemiller5992]

I agree with you 100% it hurts but you have a life too

[@therockisbehindyou9506]

Put it out there for these dads, be a man & stand up to these toxic baby mamas. Because it’s not fair for the new girls to deal with y’all shit. It’s bad enough there caring for a kid that is not there’s plus your baby mama, Really! The solution is grow some balls and be up front draw some boundaries & handle your shit!

[@nko5666]

Well sad.

[@Lamars.Smallwood]

Facts. Get a restraining order I did problem solved

[@JRWisdom]

lol

[@professorcain994]

Thanks very clean and mellow advice

[@JRWisdom]

no worries. Thanks for tuning in!

[@desireelane8]

Man i could write a whole book on all the toxic shit my fiances ex has done to me, him and our family and their own child in common, for the last 14 years because some bitches just cant handle being a mom.

[@jarodorla4307]

much respect for keeping it real

[@JRWisdom]

+Jarod Orla thanks for commenting!

[@myst7201]

My mother, now in her late 60s, and she is STILL trying to destroy my father. Some bitter women never heal or change their ways. She also abused me and my brother.

[@JRWisdom]

That scorned woman thing never goes away and they never move on. Sorry you had to endure that!

[@Kthxbye988]

GREAT advice you are absolutely right. I hope I can get my boyfriend to do all this do his ex, she is a psycho nutbag

[@JRWisdom]

It happens! Thanks for tuning in!

[@charwillie1]

Hope that works for some. It is sad to hear these stories that are more common than not. Many men lives are destroyed. Oshay video yesterday referenceing Ringotvraw video suggests to make the woman choose child support or a father is an option as well.

[@JRWisdom]

Thank you Char! Going through old comments.

[@charwillie1]

J.R. Wisdom Better late than never 😊

[@slyfly4829]

Man my ex has been dragging me through hell for years, she just won't stop n won't let me go. I've tried to settle, I've even agreed to her terms. All she does is play these stupid games. N keep dragging this out. She treats her other baby daddy normal n he's a loser little thug with no money. N only comes seeking once every couple years. Here i am being a good dad n helpful n year my ex with respect and all she does is put me through hell. I don't get it

[@shaneweathers3319]

My ex does all this shit. It's crazy cause her mother and sister the same way. Probably should of seen it coming.

[@JRWisdom]

Runs in the family!

[@alexmar9143]

Same here brother

[@tamunosakiwestscott-bloack2229]

Borderline personality disorder.

[@otsots8919]

Ill tell you my solution ...i totally cut all communication with one of mines to avoid any conflict and its unfortunate for the child but i do pay child support...this woman caused problems with my wife tried to get me fired from jobs and could under the radar be causing problems for me because i choose not to deal with ignorance .i do wish i could be in the childs life but the mother is dangerous capable of many negative things and im not the guy to be involved.when the kid can make their own mind to decide ill be there

[@arieltaylor6070]

insane!!!!! great video!

[@JRWisdom]

+she_is_she thank you! Thanks for commenting!

[@alexmar9143]

I agree totally never argue with someone unreasonable.

[@ChristopherHillJr]

Man dealing this right now $1505 a month and she's still talking to me about women I'm dating and harassing me.

[@JRWisdom]

Man I hope it all works out for you in the end! Much success to you!

[@nessamyers1621]

My husbands ex is like this. And his mom takes his exs side. I told him if you don't fix it I'm out yo. I don't have time for that kind of mind fuck shit.

[@JRWisdom]

True indeed. You have to know what you want.

[@FernandoGomez-sj2rx]

Dealing with this rn bro.. It's always the good dudes that get the shit end of the stick bro I pay my child support I see my kids as often as possible and out of nowhere she don't want me to see them or keep them from me I got 3 boys it hurts me to my core I can relate to all what you're saying good shit home boy! From chiraq 💯💯💯

[@only1668]

My Bm is married and 8months pregnant!! & won't let me send my kids things they ask for... Craziness!!

[@JRWisdom]

wow

[@elenabonini6577]

Oh Wow 😲 petty! I’m sorry to here that she is punishing the kids because she is hung up on you. That really sad 😢

[@desireelane8]

My fiance and I have been going through this shit with his ex for the last 14 years, she is just an money hungry bitch, no amount of money or anything will ever be enough for her and sadly has raised their daughter the same way. I told my fiance to block em you DO NOT HAVE TO TOLERATE THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOR FROM ANYONE! EVER, I PERSONALLY would have never allowed her to do that to me for all that time. Misery loves company!

[@justthetruth247]

I'm going thru it now too. Thanks to you all for sharing your experiences and hopefully it will help me navigate thru the hellscape of an evil, selfish, vindictive, blinded by social media, narcissistic bm 🙏

[@johnritchie2980]

You dealing with one of these "things" or r u just giving advice?

[@JRWisdom]

Speaking from experience

[@randallaltman1724]

Man you really just described my life to the teeth right now man. Jesus

[@JRWisdom]

We all have similar stories as people tend to think and react the same.

[@tyronegreen1807]

My issue is money my baby mother when I don't give her money evrytime she asks when she says it's for my kid who lives with her who has her surname and only her on the brith certificate I try and give what I can but she dose not care about that just gets mad and angry when she asks and I can't give but not like I don't give at all witch confuses me but I suppose how women are

[@JRWisdom]

Sounds controlling and toxic.

[@elenabonini6577]

Oooh, that’s tough, especially because you never really know where that money is going. Do yourself a favor keep a ledger of every penny you give. Not being petty just want you to protect yourself. Set up an email account just for you to send texts, receipt picture, and bill payment confirmation # too, also convert the cash into gift cards for specific things like food and toy stores etc... try to get her to give you lists of actual items for what the child needs and you go get them for her. I’ve seen so many women get money and the child never sees a penny of it. Not trying to pry just sharing some of the things we had to do to make sure the money was going to the right place. Also they tend to ask a little less if they know it’s not going to be cash. So if it has to be cash make it a money order. Don’t make it easy. Good luck and blessings to your situation.

[@JRWisdom]

@@2024jae sorry to hear that. However, I don't offer free advice. If you would like to proceed, please email me at [e-mail] to book a coaching session or email response.

[@littlebit1176]

What about when the man gets in a relationship and she does those things

[@JRWisdom]

+Little Bit1 if she does those things when you meet her then you need to go ahead and end all contact.

[@littlebit1176]

J.R. Wisdom with him her all of them

[@mondialman]

Sir...have you been following me the last three years (and counting because I see no end in sight)???🤔🤔🤔

[@YtAbyss]

This shit is hard bro , she pick and choose when I see her. That baby got my last name

[@MsSassydiva12]

keeping it real 100 thanks

[@JRWisdom]

+MsSassydiva12 Thank you! Thanks for commenting also!

[@focusfocus5143]

I have a vindictive ex. I left him two months ago and and two weeks ago I found out he had hacked my hotmail and facebook and deleted both of them. The irony is I left him because I discovered he had a vindictive character. Thank GOD we did not get married or have kids. I only lost 7 months of my life dating him, a hotmail account and facebook account. I consider that a blessing, what a relief.

[@JRWisdom]

Everything is a learning experience. We don't meet people by chance.

[@focusfocus5143]

Yes I agree Wisdom, I guess what hurts the most is knowing he was never capable of loving me the way I know love is.

[@xXShooKxKnightXx]

Fuck man I’m 25 with a almost 2 year old and all she does is bash me on social media. I’m glad I found this video.

[@JRWisdom]

Thanks for tuning in!

[@beautifullygifted_5333]

I believe I got pregnant by a narcissist, I’m 23 now with a one year old child . In the beginning he was very charming , bought me expensive gifts , took me everywhere.. but I always got this weird vibe about him like hmm there’s something off about him when it comes to him being overly nice and never wanting anything in return. He used to pop up at my job unannounced and bring me things here and there or he would come and pick me up just to give me a ride home when he lived an hour away which I thought was so strange but looked pasted it unfortunately. Fast forward four months into the relationship he buys me an expensive ring and proposes to me. At the time he didn’t have a car so he used to take buses , Uber’s , whatever to come see me . Then one day I said hey you should try to get your permit / license so that you can drive and at the snap of a finger in about a week or so he had his permit. Fast forward I decided to leave my job and move into his house with his parents when I first found out I was pregnant to attend college . Big mistake ! I lasted 3 weeks he kicked me out all because I didn’t “pay him enough attention” and wanted to visit my family on The Weeknd’s and here and there hang out with my friends. He hated when I was on the phone he would constantly make his presence known when I was. He always tried to rush me into marrying him and when I would say hey what’s the rush he would throw tantrums . He would throw tantrums when he couldn’t get his way or if I didn’t agree with him. He eventually moved out of his parents and got his own apartment while I was pregnant, and tried his hardest to convince me to move in I stuck with my gut and said hell no you kicked me out once , who says you wouldn’t do it again if not worse . He completely has checked out of our daughters life and only sends money. And when he was in the picture it was when he was dealing with me. Oh and I forgot to mention his mom seems to have it out for me to it got to the point where I was starting to feel like they both were trying to mentally torture me in a game of tag team . He would be off and on with me for months , with zero explanation.. Just recently I called to speak to him regarding him sending money for his daughter and he deliberately had some female Get on the phone , then he has the nerve to text me happy Mother’s Day . Now his excuse is we just don’t work , some people were brought together to recreate like what the heck ! how do you deal with this ? I try to reach out regarding my daughter and he never responds . He even stopped sending money . Im beyond hurt because I felt like I gave the relationship my all now I’m left to be a single mom.

[@JRWisdom]

I wish that you would have gotten more guidance and advice before making such big decisions in life. There are always signs. One of the biggest ones is that he was still living with his parents and taking public transportation. You can't take a man seriously that lives like that...especially a man that is asking to marry you. I'm pretty sure there were other signs but you live and you learn. I hope everything works out for you. Just don't make the same mistake again.

[@averylyde9569]

File a motion to be heard

[@weirdone8784]

I believe that women get such a bad rap for their reasonable response/reaction to done children's father's bad behavior. For example, men that do not actively participate in their children's lives, whether it be financial and/or by sharing the daily, momentous responsibilities of child rearing, yet demonize and label the child's mother as "bitter" have no real justification. We are tired and exhausted, often with little to no outside help, as we scratch and claw our way through the trenches, while dad gets a pass. When she reaches out for support of any kind, she's often men with resistance, ie lies and excuses, as to why he isn't able to help, or i getting his life in order, while he places the children and her on a back burner left to fend for themselves. It's not okay that as a society fathers are viewed as accessory parents, with optional responsibilities, while mothers are left to figure it out alone.

[@christinewarren8134]

I co sign. My ex cheated and ran off with the other woman when out daughter was 9 mons. Now he has the slore around my baby and rubs it in my face. This is a game to him. I said wait until our child is older and can communicate so this can be more smoother. No one told him to step outside the relationship when his baby was only months old 💁

[@atikin8]

@@christinewarren8134 you sound bitter if the new girl is always around that means he's an active parent. And why are you still pressed about his nee girl..he cheated so what. Move on. Yall bitter bitches kill me. Always bringing up the new woman. Well guess what. He moved on. Got someone better for hisself, soulmate, got married, had another baby and became a better man husband father and man. You make it difficult for him to participate in his child's life. Making all kinds of situations and causing a scene. Being disrespectful and pushing buttons. Refusing to let him see his child. And always bringing up the new girl. You mad because you didn't get your happily ever after with him. And he made another womans dream come true. Change your nasty attitude and maybe you'll find a man to love you and your child and might just stay. TF

[@zakeeharding]

@@atikin8 I love you😍😍😍😍😍

[@tamunosakiwestscott-bloack2229]

Wrong. Most times it was women who made the decision to end the relationship or initiate a divorce or even worse, they were never even in a relationship but chose to get pregnant and keep a baby with a man they have no dynamic with. Said women in the first instance use the advantage of social services to keep the child by accusing the father of being abusive ( aka I just don’t like him) then they use the courts to keep the father away via restraining orders etc. Said mothers then get resentful when they find oht that raising kids alone is not actually fun like in the movies and their movements are thus limited. They get jealous of the father who they wrongly assume is living his life and balling in the club and thus use the child support system to violate and blackmail him which in turn means he has to spend even more time work in to make up for the lost Income which leaves him even less time to spend with his children and which leads to his payments going even higher. A never ending mental prison. Spare me your whining woman.

[@tamunosakiwestscott-bloack2229]

Why would a man cheat and “ run off” with another woman while you afe oregnant? He is clearly taking care of the other child. Maybe he just wasn’t actually your boyfriend to begin with.

[@camsteremail]

Sounds like my sons mom