5 Ways You're Killing Your Confidence

[@candicemariebeadco]

I'm not going to burn myself out at work today. That is my commitment to myself. I will not feel guilty for just doing my part, doing my best and not trying to cover for other people not doing their job. Thank you. I needed to hear this.

[@danieljellers]

The music is in the rests; the art is in the negative space. And you are the master of articulation and powerful pauses, which is why your talks actually sink-in.

[@juliakristinamah]

Thanks Daniel - I'm glad my style connects with you. In most situations in life, pausing can be such helpful tool, don't you think?

[@shaunrussell4558]

Wow, so true!! She has such great way of engaging and encouraging our minds to let it sink in... some of this information can feel so vulnerable and new and we need those pauses! Wish other speakers could take tips from her methods👍 feel so grateful for the work you’ve invested to help us here Julia Kristina ✨💚

[@elipz6405]

You HIT my center!!! I’ve retired from teaching art after 15 years in high school. “My class rule was to leave your Fear outside my room because it will only hold you back from creating Art.” After surgeries I retired and became depressed & suicidal and have NOT created Art in 5 years. Now I realize that I am sabotaging my growth as an artist by fear-of not being a successful artist. Although I realize that I have extensive Art knowledge and skills. I continue to procrastinate. Thank you 🙏

[@adairefilen7500]

1. Get self-curious, not self-critical. "Why did I do that? Is it true?" 2. Celebrate others' successes intentionally (don't be jealously). There's not a limited supply of joy, life, love. 3. Learn to recharacterize failure. Don't make it about personal worth. 4. Believe in personal worthiness, good enough, valuable. "I exist, therefore I am worthy." 5. Make and keep promises to self. It's a way of living; start small and simple, make it a habit.

[@mirelladlima5278]

So true we seldom celebrate our small wins but we are so quick to listen to the negative self talk from the inner critic. Tks for a very helpful video.

[@pamelac.5600]

I'm new to this KZbin page. And you asked us to introduce ourselves. I will try to put this in a "nutshell." The reason I was drawn to this page is: I was born with the disability Spina bifida. Grew up with a lot of teasing/bullying. And a few years back (long story), my sister sent out an email to me, my husband, and all my siblings accusing me of abusing my mother. I think this all came about because I was placing boundaries in my life. Figured out, my mother is a narcissist, so I WAS the victim, not the abuser. And narcissists do not like boundaries! My mother had thrown me under the bus to my entire family. After the email, they each took their turn attacking me, about my relationship with my mother. So.......loving myself has been VERY difficult for me. And could soooo relate to the video where you described taking everything personal. After ALL I have been through in this broken body, and my family attacks, I don't know how to change this about me.

[@lesliengo8347]

Sorry to hear that. Definitely being here and taking in Julia's content is a great first step. Understand that people who are pushing people down don't feel good about themselves and is a projection of their own insecurities, meaning what they are saying about you has nothing to do with you.

[@NenaLavonne]

This is fantastic, Julia! I agree so much that we need to shift our relationship with failure. We let ourselves believe that we are not enough if we don't live up to our own expectations, and we start to compare ourselves to others. It's so important that we learn not to hold ourselves to standards that wouldn't be reachable by anyone. There is no such thing as perfection. We are enough. Period. Beautiful video!!!

[@juliakristinamah]

I love this Nena - you always share such beautiful words. I hope you are well.

[@MrSir00007]

Hi! I'm back!

[@juliakristinamah]

That's the best way to do it. Glad you're back Robert!

[@fatimasamira3695]

This is mostly very effective.

[@change4me]

The breaking promises part....man...hit hard. Very true for me. My promise is making a career change because the current situation has put me in an awful head space and I am able to change that. I didn’t give myself a time frame because there are a lot of moving parts but it will be happening. For me and my mental health. I referred a fellow co worker to your channel. She is currently struggling with mental struggles and I told her you are great with all of your information you share. ❤️❤️

[@shoroukhisham4934]

Hey Julia, I am Shorouk from Egypt, i really love your videos, every video makes me learn something that, i swear, changes my life. Thank you for your effort and keep going

[@juliakristinamah]

Good for you Sharouk - and if you're finding 15 minutes hard to do consistently, bring it down to 5 and see how that goes.

[@jessicamorales2555]

Is even with more admiration, than the one Julia has for Mrs Brown, that I admire her. Julia.... your recommendations have changed my life for good, in no time. Thank You!!!!!

[@VideoCesar07]

Had to hear this reassurance. For years all I heard was that if someone asked something of me and I said no then I was selfish and inconsiderate. If I asked something from someone then I was also selfish and inconsiderate. As you can imagine it was not conducive to setting boundaries or healthy relationships. You were spot on about preferring to be resentful against the person who asked something of us because that way you didn't have to feel guilty of saying no. If you don't know how to say no then you're left wondering if you in fact are a good person. Have eventually learned to see boundaries bit still struggle with the guilt part. If they said they didn't have anyone else to turn to it would start eating away at me that I was thier last hope and sabotage my own life and plans to be guilt-free but resentful against them and mad at myself for not giving myself a higher priority.

[@Saradazii]

I’m so delightful and grateful that i got to discovered your amazing and useful channel today, i just watched this video and it really got me to reconsider and reflect on some toxic, harmful thoughts and behaviors that i’m doing to myself almost my whole life .. hopefully i can overcome them and live my life with more confidence .. thank you for your helping and truly appreciate all of your hard work

[@motorctygrl]

Your words and help and education are a blessing to us all.

[@juliakristinamah]

Thank you Angela. I'm glad you're here

[@deboraholiver3716]

Believe you are worthy.... it's the belief system change..... braking promises to yourself.... we know what we need. implement what you want.... brake it down into small parts.

[@adiblay2992]

Love it! Implement what you want 😊

[@NeetaBhushanOfficial]

So true, worthiness is definitely a powerful reminder.

[@m.alawski2348]

I can't get enough of your videos. You are SO INSPIRING. 🙏

[@77Tadams]

Honestly, I think that information reaches your conscious at different time. Yes! I have broke promises to myself and felt unworthy. I started doing a wellness routine with diet and supplements 21 days ago and kept my promise to myself and stayed with routine. I feel as if I can go on to next step with exercise.

[@admirbarucija2018]

This really made my day, I know I’m at fault for killing my own confidence and have been working hard to improve it!!! I hope you’re having a terrific week 💖

[@adiblay2992]

I can relate! But don't be so hard on yourself, your only human!

[@admirbarucija2018]

@@adiblay2992 Thank you so much! :) You’re absolutely right!

[@karenfiggins7808]

This latest post from you resonates the most for me. My promise to me is to try to listen to this which I e-mailed to myself as often as possible. I have memory problems and don't trust myself to make commitments. And, my income is very limited. .

[@gregpatterson1427]

After doing Psychiatric Nursing and being in and doing therapy for many years I find your presentation and information spectacular.

[@sandisedore7425]

Thank you for this message. My moring promise is to drink a glass of water. I had to start that small. Now I am up to making my bed, brushing my teeth morning and night and washing my hands before eating. Basic self care. I am worthy.

[@dezsantos5892]

very timely, thank you for this video, from now on will stop breaking promises to my self, and stop comparing and thinking Im not worthy

[@kaira7834]

When you say, "I meant to do that," I totally believe you 💛 ur awesome

[@juliakristinamah]

lol. Thanks friend.

[@christiabacon8001]

a big thank you always, my number one commitment is letting fear be in control of me.

[@shannongrreene4365]

I promise to tell myself I can do it and I'm good enough 😊

[@cameronbyrd7671]

Wow, it's like you just knew what I needed to her at this point in my life. Confidence is definitely a lifelong skill that I think most of us only scratch the surface of. What you said about failure is so true. I have accomplished many achievements in my life: graduating high school, working at a company I never thought I would get to, and recently had my first kiss. Even with all the good that's happened, I still sometimes fear failure. What I've learned from you videos is that it is ok to fail, and not look at others and feel worthless if I don't succeed at everything. I mean failure and comparing ourselves to others are lifelong struggles that everyone has to deal with, but we can rest assure that we are here for a reason and have something to offer. I think that's a lesson we have to accept sooner or later. Yes, everything might not go our way, but that does not mean we have to that cloud our judgement. We have to believe in ourselves and just keep pushing and giving our best efforts. And always whether we feel or not, show yourself some self love because no one else gives it to you, we are worthy of at least giving some to ourselves. Thank you for this video, and continuing to share your knowledge and light.

[@timmeshiawilson4859]

I so look forward to Wednesday - these videos are always such a treat. Thank you Julia!!

[@juliakristinamah]

That means a lot - thanks for being here Timmeshia.

[@stallion2120]

You get to the root of the problem of confidence. You are too cool !Thank you!

[@kaitlynbrayton9688]

Thank you. Going to commit to not criticizing myself

[@daniellejones6339]

Hello Julia! This was so helpful. I struggle with negative self talk I was raised by a narcissistic emotionally abusive mother. These are her words.

[@Lily-hu5oy]

Love Brene Brown's book and loved her quote, it's just so hard to 'truly' believe in the self-worth. But I really want to and I will! So inspirational! Thanks always ❤

[@danielledejardin4778]

I've been breaking a lot of promises to myself.Today Imade a new list (more realistic) and have been making appointments in my calendar to get them done. Also sending your videos to friends. Thankyou for your wisdom/experience.

[@fatimasamira3695]

One small promise I can make is that I will drink reasonable amount of water, keep myself hydrated. I can't believe I put off such a small thing.

[@shaunrussell4558]

I really appreciate this video! And I’ve just listened to the Power of Vulnerability by Brene Brown... I really like this simplified way you spoke about it here and how our worthiness is subconsciously being fed by our lack of action towards feeling more worthy of love...that we’re continuing this process, by not acting in ways to show up for ourselves (the braking promises) ... wow, this really woke me up in a new way! I’ve been doing a lot of inner work to help heal from the pain that my lack of confidence has brought me, meditation, and I’m in therapy... but I’m so thankful for your channel here!! Such easy to understand insights! Also, even though it was rough to feel myself resonate with your video on Co-dependence it was eye opening too! 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@jonwhitney9559]

My Late Husband died one year and a month ago- it has been a rough road getting myself to do anything that starts me on the road to this new solo life- I accomplished a lot in the month after my husband had passed and have taken on tasks he would have done- my friends have been impressed with all that I managed to get done. I am a procrastinator and catastrophizer- which, has led to some pretty steep periods of slow to no growth- getting tasks that make me uncomfortable done- there has been more than enough binge watching- and that has to stop- I have kept some promises to myself- and that has been a source of some pride. It may be slow going, I may slip - but I am determined to create a life that is authentic.

[@marciaj2615]

This is so relevant for me! This is why I joined the Shift Society last week. Thank you Julia 🥰

[@juliakristinamah]

I'm so glad you've joined us. It's deep life changing work. And now you're officially a Shifter!

[@amyrebeccaperez5240]

Thanks for the great reminders Julia!!!...I'm working on keeping those promises to myself, some I am doing well with, some are very random and undisciplined, but I will keep trying one promise at a times.

[@haoqinggeng514]

One thing I can do everyday is working on my writing projects, even just 30 minutes!

[@varun.shenoy10]

Julia, I missed you last week. I love your videos. I feel like a small child when I listen to you. You are my school counselor ☺️..... I am your little student

[@juliakristinamah]

Yes, I'm back! Last week I was busy focused on bringing in all the new members into The Shift Society and getting them settled.

[@naseemashfaq7574]

If I set my mind to do something. I will do it. So that will help me to believe more in myself.

[@JeffreyFullercad]

Hello and thank you for your service.

[@Greatfulone]

I believe in both principles, but I just realized that changing my relationship with failure and making and keeping promises seem to be opposing each other.

[@anabellelefebvre7059]

Hey I shared your video to my sister🙏 thank you so much for your eye opening work. Food for tought and so much loving.

[@idaloup6721]

To be self-confident It's necessary to de-pedestalize anyone we meet whether professional, romantic, friendship, neighborhood, family. If you think that someone is worthier than you, of course you're going to feel like a crap. Self-confidence is not about the beauty, the wealth, the success... It's about deeply knowing that your life is the meaningful thing in this cursed planet and that until your death, you'll be the most important person during your personal journey. Because no other life can be more important than yours. It's you breathing, It's you eating, It's you suffering, It's you being happy, It's you stroking a cute cat etc... It's you and your fucking five senses that are at your disposal seven days a week, 24 hours a day. For anything in this world I would have had the Claudia Schiffer's life even if she's beautiful and rich, what's more rich because she's beautiful. What has she done to deserve this money? Nothing. Just because she's very beautiful. Absurd, isn't it? The same for Kate Moss. Billionaire in doing nothing apart from having fun with her friend Naomi in parties and drank alcohol and also everybody knows what... Absurd, isn't it? That's why when you wake up in the morning, the only thing you have to care about is you. It's your life you live, not that of your neighboor. And perhaps the reincarnation exists, nobody knows but you live once this one, this transition on Earth. Best regards from France

[@gavinomalley7099]

Awesome lesson, sending love from St. Louis Missouri

[@AvaThePrincess1st]

I embrace you and your gift

[@josephregallis3394]

I will feel confident tomorrow when I get some impact windows installed and I know it will work out OK even if it rains tomorrow! Thanks Julia.

[@nataleefr]

Hello from Croatia, thanks for your insightful videos!

[@mirelladlima5278]

If I have succeeded in completing a challenging task. I can pay myself on the back and say well done and reward myself in some way even if others don't notice it. 🙏

[@nadiahyman2660]

This was so helpful, I think you are great and I love watching these videos! They make me feel there are people who understand and can help. Thank you

[@christineclarke9063]

Thankyou so much. This really was a great reminder.

[@InspiredSoul812]

I started reading books on what I may be struggling in my life and how to overcome I’m a confident person with flaws that I’ve accept and insecurities that I will overcome and is overcoming I’m doing good i have social media and I either take pics out them on there ooor take pics look at them and smile because I’m like daaaaamn I’m fine and I praise myself a lot but one struggle that I have and it stems from childhood is seeking love receiving it I give it out so much and feel empty but nope not anymore I’m learning ma’am I’m learning and trying tired of feeling negative vibration

[@HD-mg9ru]

You are such a blessing 🙏❤ Thank you so much for these wonderful videos. Investing in me. 🥂

[@michellefussell9555]

Hey ur great thank u for explaining things I understand myself more... just learned I was married to a narcissists and that I'm an empath

[@hyperfreshspace7943]

great video! very helpful thank you Julia

[@rezapanahi553]

Hello Im new here, I searched about passive aggresive people on YT and I saw your channel. I found lots of useful stuff and Im gonna try them our and see how it works😁

[@pamelahalper8266]

I love your videos! Thank you. I have low self-esteem. Your videos are so good. I'm learning a lot. I'm Pam.

[@shannongrreene4365]

Oh yes Christina I shared this my Facebook for you

[@DivaDeb1234]

I really need to hear all this

[@Hannahacarmona]

Fantastic as usual! Thank you 💕

[@hrh4773]

Hello Julia. I really need this. 👏🏻

[@joyleenstrozier4295]

Hi Julia, I like your content. I love watching your videos.

[@juliakristinamah]

I love having you here. Thanks for your support Joyleen.

[@paul2direct]

Really appriciate your efforts for putting ourselves on the right track 🙏👍👍

[@sharonarnspiger9180]

Make and Keep Promises to Yourself, because it effects the way you feel about yourself.

[@JohnM...]

Very good. Always disagreed with Tony Robbins, who basically said you can 'pull confidence out of your ass' in any situation - in other words confidence can be created Instantaneously, which is completely false. The unworthiness thing for me is the MAIN one - everything else stems from it. Strangely, I've been rewiring my brain for abundance, lovability and worthiness thinking, and a symptom of doing this has been depression, I think because my brain is undoing neural pathways and creating new ones. The point about self promises that I break has made me see myself as of decreasing value, and untrustworthy. That stops now.

[@beckygleason7884]

Thank you for this message

[@malaymondal280]

I am getting free counselling from you...Thanks to you and thanks to youtube...

[@sweetjolies]

Your videos are so helpful! Thank you

[@bobburch2151]

You are amazing, Thank you for this video. This is me .

[@melyndafrazer1962]

This is something I struggle with so much

[@shanam7308]

I promise myself to start writing down personal essay topics today.

[@nouramoustafa7898]

Hello Julia .. My name is Noura from Syria Thanks alot for your advices 💕💕

[@tripfall224]

Hello. Thank you!!!

[@bobburch2151]

Thank you for this video. You are amazing

[@toastrecon]

Egg white omelette! Lol. The guilty golden yolk. Or (gasp) cheese?? Awesome video, thanks Julia!

[@muzerhythm2242]

The MOST difficult one is the worthiness. Been working for years and don't know how to truely connect with this from a background of abuse (as a child..mental and physical, then one boyfriend after another abusive. As a result right now I'm not dating...rather be alone than abused).

[@LisaSmith-yb2uz]

The Gifts of Imperfection - Brené Brown 🙌🥰👍 Yess! She is brilliant! 😉👌❤️

[@juliakristinamah]

Have you listened to The Power of Vulnerability on Audible? It's SO good.

[@LisaSmith-yb2uz]

@@juliakristinamah I own almost all of her books!! 🤗❣️ have you listened to her podcast, Unlocking Us?! It’s very awesome too! 😉👌

[@angelinanotaras6314]

great to find you. hoping to be able to be set my emotional relationship challenges

[@beltane1224]

Thank you✨

[@zinniairis]

My thing will be to stop talking down about myself.

[@MariaSantos-gm7ps]

Thanks I like”

[@kflo2525]

Hello my name is Kenny and I love this channel!

[@d.b.7525]

Hi “ thank you.

[@bobburch2151]

You are amazing

[@daisyrowaro44]

Awesome video!

[@kristinetank3959]

Can you please do a video about anxious attachment in relationships......I'm always worried about the ball dropping, feeling I'm not enough...etc....

[@deborahdominguez5221]

Love your videos!

[@adiblay2992]

Great video! Love your content

[@erikalarsson]

Today i start to be nicer to myself ❤️

[@juanarriaga3745]

I was love ur content .... good stuff

[@juliakristinamah]

Thanks friend - glad you're here.

[@danielcobbins9050]

I watched another channel that said get the word failure out of your life. Use the word feedback instead.

[@juliakristinamah]

That's great - I love it.

[@shaunrussell4558]

That’s a good one!! That really helps to reframe it in a positive way!

[@Periscope99985]

Hello Julia 🙏

[@selfhelpchampion9664]

Thank you, very useful advice🙏❤️selfhelpchampion

[@aminnoory7975]

I’m gonna be more curious about my self instead of putting done myself

[@maryghabooli6534]

Mary

[@johnpool5629]

Hello Julie have a great day

[@captaindan1000]

The part about celebrating clicks well with me. For years I've seen people who look like they have it better than me in some form or another. I have a history of letting that bother me. I don't want to do that anymore. Don't they say the grass is greener on the other side of the fence? Well....I only want to concentrate on my own grass.

[@gailcessna8343]

I'm promising to myself that will no longer want to use meth. because I dont need it to feel good. it's not my friend it's my enemy and it will destroy what good health I want to have. I promise myself to be good to my body. I've now been up for hours and not been sucked in by the feeling that I'm worthless and needing anything but the love for myself and feeling untrapped to go on with my day AND KNOWING GOD IS MY HIGHER SOURCE BECAUSE HE LOVES ME AND ACCEPTS ME FOR ME. MORE TOMORROW GOD BLESS EVERYONE.

[@tinasilvas8805]

Well said, courageously spoken I claim this for my life as well, I bravely speak with my faith, in my Creator and ask him to help me teach me guide me and strength to believe that I have to be better to myself than the rest of the world and stop breaking promise to myself and my God, one small commitment I can do, is to feel better about myself and my relationships with my Creator, and all of his creation and create a new creative more kind and loving life and self as I build up my life right now I know I recreate my life and that of my legacy of the devine purpose of a better way to do that which is pleasing to grandfather and to the benefit of the quality of life and memories my future generations to reminisce about and give glory to God for the mercy and love that never failed as long as I have remained faithful in my heart and soul and never lose sight of his love his unconditional love and peace that surpasses all understanding

[@heatherpurtell8412]

Does it all so include how you are feeling

[@joannaibanez7362]

Joanna Ibanez