Are Eating Disorders Always About Control?

[@jacobekker]

I love that Katie says "we" when she discusses experiences. It really helps us feel included.

[@deborahklinkner1730]

Sad cause the treatment center I was at in Calif tried to force me into thinking my anorexia was all about "body image". Years later I found out it was trauma & a very bad marriage & it totally went away when I left but it took 13 years before I could

[@timtreefrog9646]

That's such BS. It's usually trauma and/or a genetic predisposition. I think we know more now. 😊

[@lesley9023]

I completely agree about stepping away from just talking about control in eating disorders. My ED is complex, it’s about soothing and safety and not feeling the difficult feelings. I also have CPTSD.

[@Eshrimpski]

Same. But I’ve never been Dx with CPTSD.

[@07lovelybones]

This was so useful. Made me realize hunger is associated with anxiety

[@Star-dj1kw]

6:41 eating disorder Ques.. I love what you said about it being more of a self soothing motivation

[@timtreefrog9646]

I LIVE for when Kati talks about her specialist subject and gets impassioned. ❤

[@shockingheaven]

This video came just when I needed it. I am trying so hard not to fall into a bad place again, I want to be able to take care of myself and to feed myself without feeling like I haven't earned it. I hate having these thoughts after eating that I shouldn't have done it and should get rid of it. I know I'm living a very chaotic situation and have some very awful days, so I try not to talk to my friends during those periods in case I lash out and say something mean.

[@robintisabird1566]

Would love a video on body dysmorphia for people with very obvious flaws. For example, I grew up underweight, but I store my fat in my belly and arms, making me feel like I was fat. Now I am a little overweight and those areas are even bigger and obvious. For me, it is not about control. It is being disgusted with what I see and also what I think other people see.

[@Journeyoflove13]

Hi, I have lipodemia and am not fat, but it's like my upper and lower body seems to be from two different people. People always say it's nonsense, untill they see it. So I'm 40 and never swim or wear shorts and I hate that. But I also hate the shame I feel when people look. 😅 So yeah, I probably have bodydismorphia too and would like to know more about it as well. Good luck to you!

[@anamembrives3411]

Thisss

[@GenelleSmay]

I am loving my overweight body because I had to soothe myself. I over ate and didn't harm myself physically. I love my body because it saved me. I've lost 75 #s and have 50#s to go. I can do it!!

[@kathy1001]

Thank you for explaining eating disorders so well, as I am a binge eater.

[@amberelizabeth652]

Time stamps 1. 0:45 2. 6:41 3. 22:53 4. 31:57 5. 40:50 6. 49:40

[@Eshrimpski]

Can you label them….?

[@miedzyinnymi5709]

I used to hate Thursdays the most and now I like them a lot. It's because of your podcasts. Thank you, Kati.

[@stephienxb]

I find the latest research coming out about the strong correlation/co-occurrence of autism and eating disorders incredibly fascinating to learn about!

[@laurencelussierlocas]

Can you share the link to those ?

[@alexandrac591]

I've often wondered if EDs can be a form of self-injury rather than control for some people. And in yet another direction, I'm sensing a correlation between EDs and OCD.

[@andrewoats]

Absolutely. My group therapy leader was talking about it and said some people think of self injury as just being cutting or burning but it could be other behaviors like not eating when hungry or exercising to earn food. He also said it could be as simple as obsessively picking at the side of your nails to cope with an uncomfortable situation because I was sitting picking at my nails, oops 😂

[@Fruityflootloops]

I think most people with obsessive and compulsive tendencies in their ED type (so generally this would be obsessive attempts and thoughts about limiting or needing a specific way of eating so generally not BED but bulimia, anorexia nerviosa both types, ARFID, etc) meet the criteria at some point for OCD diagnosis but something people never talk about or seem to know is OCD can actually develop at any time and go into complete remission at any time too. I’ve had OCD a few times in my life, but don’t always meet the criteria when I’m in a good place especially when I’m recovery from anorexia

[@awkwardemily15]

Whoa, I never thought that my lack of buying items (that I sometimes need) and lack of doing nice things for myself was restricting! It seems so obvious now... I always link it to saving money because I'm the one who looks at our finances more at home. I've seen it as a responsibility thing. My mind is blown, it makes so much sense and now my brain I'd making all kinds of connections. 😅

[@andrewoats]

I was listening to the podcast while driving and considered pulling over at that point, felt very attacked. My therapist knows I can’t spend money on myself but she has never mentioned that it’s a form of restriction despite knowing I often skip meals. I eat enough, my restriction is more like refusing to buy food if I’m out all day or eating the stuff nobody else wants instead of what i actually want, so I wouldn’t say i have an ED but that connection is definitely there.

[@awkwardemily15]

@@andrewoats That's a good realization. And it's hard to say if you have an ED or not, however it's possible you experience disordered eating. Knowing that there is something going with food is great awareness, even if you don't think you can name it. I hope you can ease into less restriction. 💙

[@stoffls]

regarding the last question: I think that bilingual people often have one "emotional" language in which it is easier to express the emotions. I learned to express myself in English but often deep emotions and feelings are easier to express in German. Even better in the Viennese dialect.

[@MrEpsilonZero]

Ja , Naturlich. 😊 Do you find it is easier to be vulnerable (in therapy or to a friend) in your non native language !?

[@Swiftie52]

Thanks so much for this video kati. Please make more about eating disorders, a lot of us are struggling right now, it would help a lot 😁. You are amazing, and please keep being incredible like you always are. We all love you ❤️

[@06guitarFreak04]

Hi Kati, Thank you so much for this video! I returned to work as a therapist last month after being in treatment for an ED, and have been struggling to balance recovery and working (you know how good us therapists are at placing our clients needs before our own). The tips you gave were very helpful, thanks so much!

[@queerskiesahead847]

This was a great video. I have been to eating disorder treatment and to relate that back to the last question, we were taught to call the disorder Ed as if it were an abusive person in our lives. It kind of feels to me a little like the mechanism behind the language switching. In that way it can be a very positive form of distancing and can help take some of the shame and blame off of oneself. I also related a lot to being in the field with my own issues. I am a now non-practicing LCSW. I had to leave the field because I was getting so triggered I wasn't functioning well. However, it is very true that as long as it isn't impacting your ability to function you can use your own difficulties and experiences to be extremely helpful to your clients. As Kati said, it gives a whole level of perspective that other clinicians wouldn't have. It leads to more productive questioning. Clients can usually also tell when you learned something from a textbook vs. talking straight from the heart. They tend to respond better to the latter, at least in my experience.

[@elissa3188]

Yes to soothing for binging and overeating- eating feels good, food tastes good. Most of my binging came from extreme times of loneliness to start, along with shame from being excluded or picked on- and then in general just not feeling good enough -- so you eat, then you feel worse, so you eat more to feel better again. It fucking sucks.

[@Journeyoflove13]

You have so much knowledge, dear Kati. That combined with your compassion and speaking in 'we' instead of 'they' makes me love listening to you. No matter what topic. You know how to normalise things people struggle with, so 'we' don't feel that different. That seems to come natural for you. Thank you for doing it all so well! ❤

[@greynoise1409]

Being in control - when things feel out of control - is soothing. Eating on its own is soothing and a heck of a lot easier - but since it lack the feeling of control it is ultimately not comforting the way restricting works. The binge feels bad because we are out of control (despite food being "soothing" and causing pleasure chemicals to be released) and the purge feels good because control has been restored (despite "starvation" or excessive exercise being physically stressful). It is more complicated than that - and on multiple levels - but it tends to be a part. Expecting the behaviors that come from mental illness to be "rational" is a mistake (see, the mental illness part of the equation). OCD is also often about control - but then the behaviors take control of us, yet somehow their "completion" feels good in that moment before the distress immediately returns once again. Smoking cigarettes is rewarding because we relieve ourselves of the nicotine withdrawal, which could be relieved far more easily by not becoming addicted in the first place - yet somehow that isn't satisfying at all. But ultimately - just because everyone starts smoking to be cool (for a terrible example), it doesn't mean that is why you started it. The behavior (smoking or eating disorder or OCD or self-injury) becomes a problem because it is serving you in a way that feels positive in the moment and it doesn't have to be for the "usual" reasons. You have unique problems and perhaps these behaviors serve you in a unique way.

[@kittensteaparty]

Back when was working a customer facing role, I'd be unable to eat. After having to hold down the anger/shame/anxiety and having to swallow and hold down the words that wanted to say, couldn't stand swallowing food, the anxiety simply wouldn't let me, which led to just not eating because don't like the sensation of vomit.

[@PrestoJacobson]

This reminds me I'm so lucky to be out of front desk. You worded that so well. Also, I think Kati killed this episode!🥰

[@AlejandroZamudio-c1w]

Hi Katie, As I’m listening to you up until this 52 min and counting I can’t help but to feel relived with the advice you’re going to the community because I can relate to almost all the troubles they’ve been through. I am bilingual and I have noticed that I feel like I can potentially get my though across when I speak my second language, which is English. Something about me telling my hardships in my native language feels lacking. I attribute this to the possibility of the person I have become since coming her to the USA. I love my native language and I feel proud of who I am and where I come from, but I am jut realizing that since my trauma was when I was in my native country and I couldn’t tell anyone about it till I was here about two facades after my traumatic experience, I feel as though my recounting of events in my native language doesn’t have the necessary weight as it does in English. I hope this helps your community member who feels inadequate about his shifting. Thank you Katie ☺️

[@celestialcucumber4684]

Thank you for answering my question about eating disorders and control! Extremely helpful information. You’re the best Kati.

[@gend4926]

I've found McKay's book "self esteem" and the description of the pathologic critic was super helpful, having some self-regulation coping skills to practice, using a comfort box of things that make me feel better, looking at a photo of me as a little toddler, participating in the PHP group and looking at being compassionate to others is helping, maybe, be more considerate to myself.

[@CreativeArtandEnergy]

Great topic, Kati. I've gone through eating disorders around trauma and anxiety. My mom has them too for her own reasons.

[@Eshrimpski]

The “soothing” piece of ED you spoke about makes so much sense…I’ve battled just about every ED behavior…

[@sara_36511]

The whole taking less classes..... 25 yr old went back to school and I am taking 5.... and started working aswell.... 3 would be perfect oh god. Also I started getting sleeping issues after my first day of work and started binging aswelll..... I got an amazing roadmap out of this!!!!

[@ArchiduquesaMA]

Im writting a book and one character has an ED, this is very helpful

[@aligoeswest]

can i just say as someone who has watched a bunch of movies, read a bunch of books with an ED character, that its really cool that you are going deep into trying to understand before writing about it. a lot of stereotypes and tired tropes are out there and it can feel just awful to read. I also hope that you take into account the problem of overexplaining tactics, like accidentally writing a manual. :)

[@irisvanderzand28]

A littel add on tip here, I wanna add something to the ‘asking someone to write down/e-mail/ etc. the things that are good about you’. I struggle a lot with negative thoughts about myself and my behavior, I also tend to question if conversations or comments really happened the way I remember them. A thing that has helped me is every time someone says something nice about me that really effects me positively (even if I don’t believe them) I write it down when I get the chance. This makes it so much more real and personal. I might not see it that way myself, but the fact that someone felt the need to say something nice about ME is still so unreal and a nice reminder that you matter. Some people here may need to here this so just wanted to put it out there ❤️ p.s. It might seem a bit weird or cringe at first but it will help when your mind starts playing tricks on you!

[@BasiaindenWolken]

Oh my GOD!!!!! It is so true!!!! I am so happy that you said that!!!!! Of course it is all primarily about self-soothing ourselves and control is only the consequence of the coping skills that serve calming down and feeling better. 💖💖💖

[@HopefulTribe]

Thanks, Kati! Your words are so helpful for so many. 😍

[@kayliemcintosh7841]

I struggle with self injury too- even though... it's been a hot minute since I last did anything. When I was a teenager - it was the absolute BEST. Other kids were falling in love with their partners and I was falling in love with that behavior. - when I was caught, that started my therapy journey which I have since completed. CBT helped me stop self injuring. The more I worked through my traumas the easier it got. But I still think about it all the time because it felt so damn good. I've had very few experiences which were that pleasing - but the side effects aren't worth it, and not every time I self injured gave me that high. I think it's normal to some degree to cope with the triggers. Use your skills to work through the cravings.

[@katarzyna4555]

Thank you Katie! As always you clarify things perfectly. I have always struggled with eating disorders. First anorexia, then bulimia like thing but I was never diagnosed cause I'm a medical professional and I've always known how to keep things under wraps. Then orthorexia and then binges but I was never properly diagnosed and now I tend to fall back into old patterns because of immense stress and depression that I try coping with. But you give me hope. As always... Thank you so much!

[@eledeog]

I did not know switching languages was so common. I do recognise english having better words to express feelings: sometimes I can find a word that comes close but isn’t the full image of what I’m feeling in my native language and I only find a word that expresses it better in english... I sometimes have moment where I can’t/won’t talk and I’ve noticed that in these moments switching languages might also bring me to be able to talk again easier/earlier. I also tend to have the urge to switch languages when the subject I’m talking about is difficult for me to talk about or when I’m not entierly sure if I want to talk about it or not. Somtimes I even want to speak in a language the person I’m talking to doesn’t understand, because I’m torn between the need to say something and not wanting the other person to know the thing I apparently need to say...

[@chinesekungfu2031]

@51:40 I toggle between languages in order to comm. between alters but I do have DID. It's a pretty sweet coping skill but I did think of dissociation when you mentioned that person's question

[@Ahmed_Phenomenal_Ali]

Thank you Kati Ma'am for everything.❤❤❤

[@il3mendo]

I have been struggling with autoimmune diseases associated with disorder eating but till today my autoimmune diseases eating habits are seen as a disorder eating while as a child I developed Pica and Arfid. The reason why I have always seen food as an enemy were my reactions/inflammation that I developed and my personality of course has been hammered by the handicap/social avoidance/the unknown internal pain. My coping skills is my diet regime and the location which has to be done by me at home to avoid contamination. They said that I am hyperfixated but the ones that have severe allergies know what I am taking about. I am still figuring what went wrong as first but I am pretty sure that the restriction was a self defense mechanism .

[@erinodonnell386]

For me, and idk if this is normal, I was told from a very young age that I basically had to be pretty if anyone was ever going to want me. And not having other people want me was essentially the ultimate failure. And in order for me to be pretty, I had to be skinny. The skinnier I got, the more praise I got for how I looked and the more people paid attention to me. I spent a lot of time alone as a kid, sometimes weeks without talking to another person, so that attention was really important to me. I would go back to school after summer break and not remember how to interact with other people properly so I had a hard time making friends or getting any of my social needs met outside of my family too. So it was just a cycle that I couldn’t figure out a way out of and blamed myself for intensely. It got out of control somewhere along the way and I wound up first restricting food and then restricting and purging. So it wasn’t necessarily about control, or at least not just about control.

[@puthypicasso640]

i feel you so bad. As a kid, being bullied for just having a body that's growing can be so damaging and leaves a long term effect. I am currently struggling with being the lowest i've ever been while simultaneously being praised for being skinny. It doesn't even seem about control, for people like us at least, but more so a way of seeking validation that we never encountered before. I truly wish you a healthy mind and recovery. As tough as the habits may seem, recognizing that they're bad is a step in the right direction :)

[@LiveFaustDieJung]

I constantly have to touch my hands arms, fidget, pace, rock, picking nails, it feels like it takes all I have to stay present and lucid. I forget things and struggle to see things clearly. Things get warped. My body face. Other’s too. The movement is the only thing reminding me I’m alive right now. Sometimes I think I’m already 💀 even though it doesn’t make sense. Makes me scared.

[@alexandrac591]

I am sad you are facing this :-(

[@ClandestineGirl16X]

Kati, thank you so much ❤

[@Katimorton]

You are so welcome!

[@Sarahwithanh444]

Wow, I think I might have agoraphobia. I hate going anywhere other than home and work. If I have to pick up something from the store or fill up the car, instead of doing it on my way home, I’ll often leave it for my husband to do once lm home - even though I drive past the store or petrol station on my way! I always thought it might be linked to my Autism, but perhaps it’s more like agoraphobia.

[@jamielarsen3749]

That last question really got me thinking. Ok, so here is my background. I'm an american, born here in the states, but my parents are both Danish immigrants. So I grew up speaking Danish with them, but also because I needed to work from a very young age, and it's perfectly acceptable to work as a farm hand at ages starting at like 7 - 9 years old in Wisconsin, my parents found a farming family that I could work for. Those people were from Holland and primarily would speak Dutch, so I also learned Dutch as a result of working as a farm hand and living on their farm during the summer. So here is what the question about multi-lingual people got me thinking about. A lot of people who are bilingual (multilingual in my case) from childhood also report having almost a completely different personality whenever they do have to make a language switch derived from the culture of the language. Maybe it's easier for people to dissociate or push away some of those negative feelings and thoughts through language switching because they are also calling on that separate personality that comes from the language switch.

[@michellelingg8795]

I always felt I had more control because I wasn’t bulimic. After going up and down for 25 years even today I restrict. It’s like that “voice” never goes away.

[@too_tired_for_this]

My theory about binge eating is that some of us feel the need to feel out of control for a while, so we binge, then that itch is scratched and we see that we did something we didn’t want to do.

[@picturepal]

Interesting thought. I can relate to the idea.

[@ClementineShmementine]

8:53 I feel like if I am better in my appearance e people will be nicer and not care about my moods- also I am treated better and understood more when I lost weight. It is all social to me. My appearance is social

[@dorainpelegrina8208]

Absolutelly amazing Kate I love this infound so many answers in it, so hard to find quality info about eating disorders out there 🙏😘

[@HipsterSpinster_]

I have dealt with questions about employment gap due to mental health issues and I have always just said "I had a medical condition that needed to be addressed." No interviewer ever followed up with extra questioning. It is what it is and they will leave it alone if you give this vague answer.

[@MaryParker-e2v]

I really feel for the medical student. That was me almost 30 years ago. Some things about your answer won't be possible. The way it works, it can be impossible to reduce work load. If you're on a surgery rotation, you're on a surgery rotation and you have to be there at 4:45 in the morning no matter who you are or what you're dealing with. There are months where there just is no time. Since this student is a 4th year, what I can suggest, although it might be too late in the academic year for this, is to alternate tougher months with easier ones. Students know which these will be, and 4th years have more control. Depending on the approachability of the administration, they may be able to work with them directly with the goal of making the last year as humane as possible. Medical school culture can make it so hard to do this, and it will really depend on who those admin people are. But this student should not internalize the message (and unfortunately they may hear it) that they are not good enough because they've had a mental health problem. Plenty of good doctors have dealt with all sorts of mental health challenges. There are things about medical school that still seem to be true from what I hear that can be so hard to get through. First is being so close to so very much suffering. Sometimes it's even suffering inflicted or worsened by medical care, and this can be worsened by how some doctors absolutely turn a blind eye to the suffering aspect. If this has been hard for this student, you have to find a way to recognize and hold this but not be drowned by it. My way is having found colleagues (not necessarily and really not most often other doctors!) I can talk with when I'm having trouble with that. I'm also in a small group of doctors called "Finding Meaning in Medicine" that meets regularly. It's not therapy, but it's community and we explore all sorts of things. For a student who recognizes they are affected by this, and I don't know that this particular student is, finding a mentor could help, or finding a group of people with experience in medicine they can just talk with. I found a hospital pastor as a mentor and actually spent a month with him when I had taken time off, purely addressing suffering. Second is the brutality and abuse students are subject to, coming from attending physicians, nurses, other medical trainees. There are so many reasons for this. Competition, passing on abuse the abusers suffered, some of it just seemed so random. Some nurses were so mean and I had no idea why - my strategy for them was to smile broadly and greet them with a hello when I saw them, regardless of what they had done to me. It was blatantly manipulative - they would look at me confused - but it worked. For me, the worst was from surgery residents. I am still, nearly 30 years out from medical school graduation, afraid to call surgeons I don't already know. It's very easy to feel shame about what you are being abused about. You didn't know something. You missed something. Once for me it was that I had dressed wrong (in retrospect, I absolutely had not). To get through, you have to find a way to avoid internalizing the abuse that I really think is flat-out aimed at creating shame. I don't know if this student has been abused in any way, but this is one where it's really hard to find community because medical school can be so competitive and I know we were so afraid of appearing weak. Sometimes I thought to myself, "I wonder if this is what it feels like to be down behind enemy lines." Medical students I've spoken with now say that phrase still describes how they feel. The school I'm affiliated with now has a Wellness department, and part of that department's mission is helping trainees deal with this culture. If this is an issue, finding other students willing to talk about it can be key, as is finding faculty mentors. I really think direct support with this comes best from within medicine, where people can understand what happens. But conversely, I also found it helpful to have friends and activities outside of medical school (difficult because of the demands, but not impossible) who help keep you oriented to the rest of the world and how normal, good people interact with each other. I met people by playing a sport and volunteering for 2 local non-medical organizations. Third, a lot of medical students are perfectionists. That's actually kind of good for being a doctor, but it can make training and practicing medicine more difficult. I think these people take it harder when they make a mistake, and they inevitably will. I'm not in general a perfectionist, and I basically blew-off the pursuit of good grades when I thought someone was being abusive. This is probably therapist territory? You don't get into medical school if you're not smart and capable, and you definitely don't make it through the first 3 years. This student is smart, capable, and can be a good doctor. Finally, training does not end after medical school. Choose a residency with a supportive culture. Sometimes a whole branch of medicine seems to have a higher percentage of people who arrive at being nice to others earlier. Pediatrics, Family Practice. But if you do something like Internal Medicine or Surgery, the particular place can make a difference. I didn't list the program that called themselves the Marines. The strategies for getting through the last year of medical school will be equally important for getting through residency, but I found residency a much better experience because I had fewer interpersonally dangerous co-trainees, I was doing what I really wanted to do, and I had less interaction with the more abusive branches of medicine.

[@alexandrac591]

Thoughtful and insightful to a non-doctor, thank you for writing this. The way this system seems to generate high-octane shame, I can't help but wonder who is this serving? Certainly not patients or doctors. To some extent, I get why medical school has to be so tough with the extreme conditions, but saddling the extra weight of psychological violence is a vexing commentary on the human condition.

[@candidwings5609]

"Safe, in and of itself, can be triggering." .... dang, that's something I need to explore a bit

[@Anon71717]

Oh my gosh I am crashing so hard in my ED right now. Literally walking the track right now even though I haven’t eaten in 2 days. I don’t know what to do.

[@Swiftie52]

Do u wanna talk to me? I get it, I'm close to that too, but not that bad. I might be able to help?

[@Anon71717]

@@Swiftie52 thanks so much for offering. I want help, but feel like I cant ask right now. I JUST finished IOP and still have outpatient treatment, but this is spiraling so fast.

[@Swiftie52]

​@@Anon71717I can't say I 100% get it, but I do get not being able to talk to people. Maybe we don't have the same reasons, mine is because I'm embarrassed z and because I think I can sort it out myself, and because I don't want anyone to know, but I know how hard it is trying to cope by yourself . I also get how hard it is to cope by yourself. In your case, I suggest reaching out to a helpline. I don't know about America, but in England there's a charity called beat that you can reach out to. I'm sure there's one in America too. I hope you're ok, if you want to talk to anyone, I'm here. You're really strong, you can do this, and at least please try and tell a friend or family member. They might be able to help. If it's too hard, write a letter. I hope this helps 😁

[@davidwhitaker2211]

I understand that question about control. My experiences were never about control, but about punishment, and then later a numbness in which nothing matters, so why bother? It got to the point where I just gave up eating entirely until i almost died but still struggle with wanting to take care of myself.

[@joshp.5714]

For me it was to sooth that would finish with a means of punishment.

[@TragicallyDelicious]

I kind of cherry pick the vids I watch but you break things down ina way that for me, has heloed dot some Is and cross some t's. TY Kati.

[@alyxtora4534]

My best friend has anorexia nervosa and I would love a video or series of videos on how I can best support her. I know it's not a conscious decision, she's stressed. I get that, but like, how do I offer support?

[@deborahcollins1100]

I definitely know that I have a definite unhealthy attitude toward the number on the scale even though I have lost a bit over 100 lbs and kept it off for awhile now but get upset if I gained a pound once a week at my weight support group weekly weigh in. At home at my daily getting on the scales and I have a low weight that day if the following weight is up a pound or two. My doctor has warned me not to go lower in weight. And I like food too much and diabetic so I have to eat.Also I’m 75 yrs old this month and really don’t look good at this weight

[@nikkimckay860]

Hello people who may read this and also haven't watched this new AKA podcast yet it's been a while since I watch these but getting back into watching them as always interesting question s and Kati s important helpful answer s ❤❤❤

[@Bunnie_05-]

I have a candy jar. But I don't eat the candy, no matter how bad I want it. Sometimes I'll cry when I end up having to throw it away because it has expired. I'll wish that I would've eaten, instead of letting it go to waste. But when I do eat it I feel guilty like I've done too much.....so the cycle never stops. I stay up all night & dont eat. Even if my stomach hurts. And during the day, I'll eat small pieces of candy instead of real food to make the hunger go away. Then I'll barely eat dinner. Sometimes I'll either eat a small lunch, but if i feel dinner is gonna be filling ill just eat a snack to save room for dinner. I almost never eat breakfast. I dont usually drink anything during the day either unless i think drinking something will help me stop feeling hungry. I know i have a problem, but i think i look perfectly fine, my thighs are too big so i want to "fix" that but i cant allow myself to get help. Because if i dont look like im dying then im fine. Also, my parents just think im being difficult or overdramatic so receiving help isn't really an option either, especially cause my other family is to scared to say anything to anyone when they tell me i look to skinny. To make things worse, because i feel im not "bad enough " ill never willing seek help, because i feel guilty and ashamed or attention seeking. I love watching food videos though and saying i love food🫶🏼✨️

[@SavannahAllan]

Hi Kati, could you address the correlation between loss and eating disorders please?

[@royahoffmeyer3959]

Thank you❤

[@moisesrosas7916]

I think that there is people that the only time of the day that can have something right is when they eat in the worst case escenario. When one have had a bay thay you just want to eat something sweet and soothing as you say example a "Gansito" and a coke. When blood sugar is high you have to take control of what you eat. I dont know really.

[@Hereismytwocents2011]

I restrict food, and when I do eat just a little, I purge. It's a vicious cycle!

[@Hereismytwocents2011]

@Patricia-xw3ns I started going to one, but she said because I’ve had eating issues for so long, she wasn’t equipped enough to help me. She referred me to someone else, who has a waiting list, so that didn’t work. I’m going to try one more place, but I feel like there aren’t many options out there.

[@PaulHosey-u3l]

Yes. I think so. Can't control anything else.

[@indridcold8433]

Eating is the only thing that makes me happy. I became a corpulent mess, barely able to go up steps. I realised my addiction and ended my source of happiness and went to minimal sustenance. It was an agonising two and a half years. But, I did return to my clinically ideal weight and returned to an athletic physique. To maintain this, I weigh myself nightly. If I gain a kilo, I will lose a kilo the next night. If I get under my ideal weight range, I gain the kilo. Though the amazing banquets that made me so happy are gone forever, I can now run up the steps, run 10 kilometres without stopping, and swim five kilos, all at the geriatric age of 52. The addiction with food was realised when I turned 30 years of age and noted just what a diseased form I had become. I will never allow it again, even if I never feel the joy I used to feel when I was feasting upon the most delectable of foods.

[@51623allissa]

I've relapsed in my eating disorder (anorexia) and a "friend" has threatened to Baker Act me unless I start eating again... Is that even possible to do? I know I need help; hence an appointment with my PCP coming up in a week and I've written out how this has affected me recently. There's no denial that I need help; of course I do but BA? I think is excessive. Any advice other than avoiding said "friend" until I'm recovered?

[@51623allissa]

What's a bridge statement???

[@heatherarmstrong7818]

Dealing with a 42-year-old eating disorder

[@compulsiverambler1352]

Which BMI alternatives superior to BMI (e.g. Dexa scan, muscle wastage detection methods, or the sitting height to weight index) can visibly gaunt and hormonally symptomatic restricting males who are tall (even at 6ft you will already have this problem), use in an officially recognised way by insurance companies etc., to get diagnosed and treated for anorexia and to be accurately compared to the patients they compete for treatment centre placements with? Instead of having to get so much thinner than everyone else needs to get in order to meet the BMI criteria for anorexia or to reach any given low BMI, due to the many weight-adding fat-free-mass structural differences between tall male bodies and everyone else, such as the disproportionately large internal organs, feet, hands and lower limb bone weight. Context: multiple ignored studies around the world (none of which were trying to address the issue of underweight detection accuracy, but have huge and still ignored implications for it by the nature of their findings on the undue influence of height on overweight detection accuracy by BMI, or on how differently proportioned and dense the skeletons and internal organs of tall males are compared to everyone else) imply that on average a male who is very tall (and it gets much worse again if also of African descent, as the structural differences are even greater) needs to get much sicklier in order to drop below 18.5 BMI, than a very short male does. And quite a bit more than adult males or females of average height, i.e. the majority of the patients their BMI will be unfairly compared to when treatment facilities are deciding which referrals to reject due to limited resources. Taking Dexa scan findings, total weight, sitting height, standing height, internal organs weight, bone mass etc. into account would obviously be the scientific right answer but what method is actually accessible, accepted and used in patient evaluations and triaging by the institutions that you need to know the inappropriateness and/or severity of your total weight for your body? How invalidating to have everyone tell you you look sick, get the courage to go to the doctor but have the doctor say that you are not underweight, BMI says so. Or that your short sibling or cousin is more underweight than you are, when that is not true, but now you think you are losing in your bid to be the thinnest, and that everyone lied to you when they said you already were. We need to tell every tall male patient what to ask for instead of BMI, especially the exceptionally tall like 6ft7, cos they could die of starvation still waiting for their BMI to spur any sense of urgency in the those reading their paperwork. But what can they ask for?

[@JezzaM77]

Great video Kati🥰

[@lesleysears9808]

Tell the person to tell an future employer that they had a sick mother (cancer) or father that was sick and dying and you had to take care of her.

[@ajc4314]

Is there a video where Kati talks more about feeling nutrale vs safe?

[@wyleycoyote21]

I got out of treatment in 2020 and now being a transgender individual who is pregnant the thoughts have come back. I thought i was recovered but here I am struggling with restriction.

[@WSSHW__1854]

I find my transition both triggered and helped my ED. It's a very fine balancing act. Good luck💪🏻

[@ClementineShmementine]

13:41 won’t cook for myself and won’t buy food. I am more binge ?

[@lourdesgarcia2969]

It's not easy for therapist to say or ask "how can u forget ur health?" U can't do anything if ur not healthy...

[@lourdesgarcia2969]

From experience, eating disorders are also lack of factual information, quick to do some trendy or fad eating, forgetting to ask ur doctor, obsessing on our looks (for whatever reasons...) over or undereating just plain old not paying attention to what we are doing!!!!!

[@kathythureen9341]

KATI I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. I WISH I COULD GO TO YOU.

[@junkettarp8942]

I have had several episodes of ED.......Of course.....Its about control...What else can you do when everyone around you is mad.

[@jancko995]

Heathens ADHD connected to complex trauma. I think she even got Gabor Mate talks about having a restless childhood

[@j0.ZEF-Who]

NO circle necklace and a tan - shheeshh live the dream LOL :) - too many people in the world struggling to fix their mental health - i wish i was bat shit crazy and happy LOL ... well it sounds nice.

[@yayhoo8848]

Eating disorders are about a deep seated instinct to survive and procreate.

[@tinaho2347]

This is inaccurate and completely dismissive of the diversity of people’s lives. Please don’t spread lies like this about mental health issues.

[@yayhoo8848]

Everything originates from our primal instincts for survival and procreation, so this is completely accurate. @@tinaho2347

[@danielroy8232]

is it weird that I think the whole "bridge statment" teqnique sounds manipulative, like you're trying to slowly trick yourself into eventually believin something you don't think is true. like, you're just lying to yourself in tiny increments.

[@LiveFaustDieJung]

🫶🏻

[@Dannydawson1984]

Eating disorders are totally about controlling behaviour no more to be said

[@mariawright8197]

I love your pod cast to learn more about this for friend. But i don't like the cussing pls. Makes me not want to listen to the whole podcast. Thanks

[@guru_kingpin]

You know some cultures intake food rectilyy... and extract orally... I hear its the way of the future

[@timtreefrog9646]

Whaaaaaaa 😮

[@MrMaaf]

Gosh 😮😮😮😮