The Internet is Hateful, Petty, and run by Algorithms 😗| Khadija Mbowe

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@khadija.mbowe

[@saintkohle]

I feel like social media, while still having its issues, was a LOT more tolerable until tech companies began implementing algorithms that shoves the worst to the top. Best example: current day Instagram comment sections

[@daisyd3w3491]

@@saintkohle dude instagram comment sections are a special kind of attrocious

[@unamejames]

That was part of it, but the other big thing is that "the internet's demographics shifted drastically as large numbers of people joined who were unwilling or unable to uphold existing social norms from BBS and usenet" which is the long and nice way to say a lot of really dumb people came online over the last ~30 years or so. The internet went from a place dominated by educated upper middle class people to a place dominated by whoever posts more, which it turns out are mostly people that have nothing better to do.

[@icedoatmilklatte910]

Instagram comment sections really make me lose faith in humanity

[@Synthenoid_]

Yeah, particularly Instagram is incredibly blatant now with how it pushes negative comments, for example, if a musician/artist makes a post about their new single or album: even if 9/10 comments are positive and/or approving, there will be one comment saying something like "this is absolute garbage" and Instagram will show THAT comment as the 'preview' of the comments section. It may seem specific but it happens really often in my experience, even comments with 0 likes + profiles with 0 posts, 0 followers etc., Instagram puts 'ragebait' before everything else. Additionally, this is probably an older thing but any Reel I've clicked on relating to Toronto is almost guaranteed to have shamelessly racist comments at the top

[@carrington2949]

It gets to a point in which you no longer feed the algorithm, but the algorithm is feeding you. It knows you in and out. Now it is just another manipulative partner.

[@kirbyizlife]

The worst thing is that sometimes the lines between being critical and being a hater can get blurry. Like people might voice a genuine criticism but will say it in the meanest, most engagement-driven way

[@Omiiee]

Absolutely, Star Wars youtube videos come to mind

[@shaunamichele]

I think criticism and being a hater can be easily delineated by examining the intention.

[@majortom331]

@@Omiiee so.many.damn.acolyte.hate.videos. T_T

[@greenthinggg]

This happens so much in kpop spaces it's ridiculous. Went there for the music but nope

[@xkaypresx9285]

@@shaunamicheleyup, did it actually help the person or just bring it down

[@sophiaisabelle01]

People can be drastically different online. The moment you start interacting, the more hostile they become. It can be outrageous from time to time.

[@starcherry6814]

Right. People get real brave over social media all of a sudden 🤨

[@cheyennec5546]

The milk & honey of Social media is OUTRAGE & DISGUST. It’s what keeps ‘em all running and highly addictive! This is further amplified under the veil of anonymity, where a person can just be cruel without consequence, being a faceless nameless voice releasing some sort of personal pent up frustration. For others they just do so for likes as it’s lazy & for many they’re just being their miserable selves.

[@neonlacee]

That’s abusive behavior, and it tells us there are more monsters out there than you’d like to think.

[@kerenpooh5314]

Thisss

[@heloloiss]

@@sophiaisabelle01 yep, I’ve seen way too many silly jokes turn into fired up arguments in the comments sections just because 💀

[@formlessdivinity]

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. Online spaces have been feeling very hollow and empty recently and I wonder often what the point of it is

[@traumaqueeen]

Its a very unfulfilling loop

[@icedoatmilklatte910]

Yep. I’ve been thinking about deleting all my social media. It’s just an endless cycle of hatred, discourse and negativity. It’s mentally exhausting

[@Mighty_Atheismo]

The point is to profitably sell ads to a userbase with no option but to use your service.

[@Mighty_Atheismo]

​@@icedoatmilklatte910 my life got immediately better after I got banned from reddit. I encourage all to get banned from reddit.

[@LiquidSonshine]

Khadija, you're fine, so is your content. Biologically you're always striving for homeostasis in the body. The technology that runs these platforms is made by companies that create slot machines. That why you'll be encouraged to watch video after video. The longer you're on, your data is being harvested for future use. Another way to get your money or opinion later. We drive the algorithm. Users (ironic) are hoping that their comment gets likes. The creator wants subs, views that can lead to going viral. More engagement, which is a form of control. That's why you're encouraged to like, share, comment. It leads to power & money, a dopamine feeder in your hand. It's too tempting with the anonymous delivery of social media. You can call someone every but the child of God, safely. You can built quasi community. Post pandemic we're more phucked up than ever. We will not be able to go back no matter what. It will have to be sorted.

[@Corarii]

i sent this video to my mom because she’s addicted to facebook’s horrible algorithm and gets into fights with people online all the time and i dont even care about the contents, i just genuinely hope her mental health is okay, i dealt with getting into discourse constantly, i wasted half my 20s being miserable online and i just dont want her to become that way. thank you so much for this video, you never miss

[@bloopbloopbloopbloopbloop]

does your mom have any access to counselling?

[@winterzealot]

I hope it works out for you both. You are good for trying to help. ❤

[@yumbadly]

This is why I take a break from social media in general...too much negativity for me while I'm already dealt with a lot of heavy stuff in my life.

[@thenumbersix9038]

@@yumbadly I took a break that turned into a forever break, after I realized how much better I felt in my day to day not getting caught in an endless scroll. I refuse to let some company's application control my feelings to the level that it did anymore.

[@bi_yall]

Same, I’m down to a weekly check-in for social media. This has really helped me treat it as a tool especially for updates (ex. community events, hobby groups, etc).

[@Tftapodcast]

I too took a forever break. I deleted my all of my social media accounts 4 years ago and it has been great.

[@camrynmax6703]

@@thenumbersix9038same! I got rid of tiktok then Instagram and I’ve noticed a massive improvement in my attention span and my life

[@thing_under_the_stairs]

I gave up social media back in 2016 and haven't looked back. If it was bad then, I can't imagine how much worse it must be now.

[@TasnimAhana-zz9pi]

This is why I only use KZbin and Google. And block channels that promote hate. It's not perfect. But it works for me.

[@whalu4664]

I do the same. I feel like some of it has even spread to KZbin so it feels like no corner of the internet can ever just be normal

[@deee71194]

@@whalu4664 Pinterest is still pretty chill (knock on wood)

[@Tusisvrivhing]

@@whalu4664I’m impressed at how curated my KZbin feed has becomed, it’s not perfect but almost. I’m always happy when someone says a meme/ and I have no idea what they’re taking about.

[@Highlandslowlands]

I completely deleted platforms other than KZbin and immediately block channels that have been jumping on hate bandwagons and yet somehow I see freaking Blake Lively's face staring back at me every day.

[@roccafille]

Same

[@bebec5081]

I love the subject. There are so many haters online because they can make negative comments while staying hidden behind their keyboards. 😅

[@starcherry6814]

Not to mention the algorithm gives these comments the most attention, meanwhile the majority of positive comments stay at the bottom Making the creator and audience feel everyone thinks that way. When really thats not the case

[@RisingStarFalls]

When Francesca Amewudah-Rivers was announced as Julie alongside Tom Holland in the West End adaptation, the comments about her appearance were appalling and disgusting. Someone had the audacity to say, “So it’s racist to call people ugly now?” Like what right do you have to attack someone’s appearance unprovoked. I hate how SM platforms have allowed this behavior to persist but claim they’re “against bully, harassment, and racism.”

[@Mole9961]

Just as an aside… I’m a cis bi-curious white male in his 50s and I totally rely upon your content to inform me and check myself on the regular. I feel people like me, that have only started to understand just how outside my experiences life really is, have a pertinent need to stop and listen to creators that put forth what you do. I have had a bunch of my stupid preconceived notions shaken and broken because of what you say. I’ll watch everything from you that comes up on my suggestions and sometimes those videos are years old. I’ll still watch the whole thing. You make me think. You broaden my world view. I’m so thankful for this! Even when it’s painful for me to realize I’ve been approaching perceptions from my racial ivory tower and, when the tower is shattered, it is painful. I don’t wanna be that guy. But when I am being “that guy” I need someone to hold up the mirror and stuff my nose in the facts. Thank you for being the mirror and the forceful hand. Oh. Offhand commentary, you are also beautiful! I mean I don’t know as a person, so you totally seem beautiful on the inside as well, but I’m devoted to come and seeing you dance one of these years. I’ll be the brilliantly happy older metal-head cheering loudly when the moment permits.

[@thestellarelite]

What a lovely comment!

[@cynthiahoward2285]

This is such a great comment!

[@thing_under_the_stairs]

Thanks for being one of the ones who's willing to check on yourself and your privilege, and to learn from people who are different! We need more people willing to do that kind of work. And I agree, Khadija really is beautiful, inside and out!

[@EroticInferno]

We love a self reflective king 💯

[@JordaniRoss]

This is so cute

[@spooke_e6679]

God, this spoke to my SOUL. Being online's become so hostile and alienating and it's getting exhausting just seeing endless discourse about discourse about discourse about discourse. Take care of yourself, it's rough out there and the things which're supposed to be escapism have just turned septic so that tech companies can show ever more ads to us. Take care of yourselves, it's rough out there

[@johannesschutz780]

"Can I be honest?" Yes, go on. "Can I be mean?" OMG YES PLEASE GIVE IT TO ME

[@kerenpooh5314]

Thisss

[@Noah-lo9vb]

It has REALLY improved my life to catch my irritation towards others with "when do you behave like that person is behaving?". Like when someone says something I find inappropriate, I think "when would I behave that way?" and maybe for me, it's because I didn't realize what I said was inappropriate, or I was just trying to be funny, and that helps me really relax towards other people.

[@sshii]

This is some S tier emotionally intelligent insight.

[@Noah-lo9vb]

@@sshii :D Why thank you!! This made my day!

[@sshii]

@@Noah-lo9vb I’m glad to hear that, my friend! Hope your day gets even better.

[@drebugsita]

yes, and sounds very Jungian (Carl Jung, the shadow - projection, etc). I recently gained insight into my past tendency to speak in a smugly authoritatively about things - i.e. objectively, with questionable basis, in noting my strong reaction to a KZbinr psychologist's take on the whole Blake lively fiasco. It allowed me to see how I have done that, often from a place of insecurity / need to sound like an expert - which leads to overcompensating. So, while I unfollowed that channel and lost respect for that creator I also committed to not being smug about my own knowledge when sharing it with others.

[@Noah-lo9vb]

@@drebugsita Whoaa, that's so interesting!! I love the introspection! Now I'm very curious about the video-- what was it that made you react strongly? Like you saw yourself reflected in their behavior?

[@traumaqueeen]

Are people taking out their internal frustration at the world, online? I sometimes go to sites like Dailymail celeb section and read the comments, I can feel the anger, the rage in the words, the attacks... its weird because you don't know these celebs and how can you have so much anger over people you don't know. It kinda reminds me of the book 1984 and the 2 minutes of hate - is the internet where people go for their 2 minutes of rage? In order to express the anguish they are feeling about the world in general?

[@pezor]

i like this take a lot

[@pallasydoor7116]

Im not going to lie… i went to a therapist, because i noticed if i see name calling i start getting defensive and start arguing. To which my therapist noted that i struggle to control the chaos in my life so i come online.

[@Scarfgirl]

It's the new road rage. Cars gave people the illusion that they could be as awful as they wanted and still be accepted in society. The internet is designed to protect people from the consequences of their behavior. Turns out, many or perhaps even most people hide how awful they naturally are mainly out of fear of reprisal as opposed to feeling real empathy for others or any desire to follow a moral code. And while the right has always been a bit selective as to who counts as 'people deserving of empathy", the number of so called 'liberals' who will stoop just as low and just as quickly while online was disheartening. Clinton/Obama primaries revealed a whole heap of racism/sexism that we'd been pretending wasn't there. I think leftists may have been even worse, or maybe that was just my bad expecting the same demographic would behave differently b/c of their ideology. One more thing to keep in mind: you have no idea if you're seeing real people or a programmed script, so always be skeptical. New Literacy Project, Critical Media Project, and Project Looksharp (I hope I got those right) are great resources for navigating this new landscape critically. The main difficulty is in convincing people it's not just the bad guys who can't understand wit and subtext that get tricked.

[@nuxxy_]

why are you phrasing your statments as questions??????

[@lis6041]

I think you’re onto something. I’ve felt for a while that people use comment sections as rage rooms.

[@collyflower6623]

I think this is one of my favorite videos from Khadija. I'm exhausted by online snark/perfectionist culture, but even more than that, I'm afraid of it. I've removed myself from almost all social media, but even hearing about how people act online makes me anxious to interact with people irl. I think the internet has been this way for a lot longer than people think - I remember being a teen on Twitter more than 10 years ago and seeing the most caustic takes rise to the top. It seems like our worst impulses come out online whether there's an algorithm or not. It's such a balm when Khadija injects nuance and forgiveness into the conversation.

[@dmvmeu7140]

so true! hate going outside nowadays

[@RickyDog1989]

Swarm is another TV show where, like in Black Mirror, they explore the concept of "coming after online haters with real physical violence ", what if our anonymous behavior online had consequences irl. It is also a show about many more things, I recommend! :D

[@magn0liaflowers500]

@@RickyDog1989 is it on a streaming service?

[@RickyDog1989]

@@magn0liaflowers500 i watched it on Amazon Prime

[@lindor222]

@@magn0liaflowers500it’s on Prime

[@jordanmalone2547]

@@magn0liaflowers500yeah I think it’s on Hulu, it’s a wild time

[@l.pineda1576]

@@magn0liaflowers500it's on amazon prime

[@killapilla]

I’ve been trying to detach myself from the internet more lately. This is one the few opinion/cultural take channels I watch anymore because I realized just how many people 1) don’t check facts and 2) whose opinions I actually don’t care about. I realized in therapy that a lot of takes make me mad and I walk around the rest of the day mad not really knowing why. It’s hard to enjoy things like that. And as I’ve been detaching more, I’ve been enjoying things more, developing a taste in things again, developing my opinion more and actually reading/watching/hearing the things people are talking about rather than hearing others opinion first and consider that me digesting the media. It became tired jumping to see what dialogue people had on certain topics. I was getting mad about movies I ain’t even watch. I was listening to 30s bytes of a song and judging whole albums based off that. The list goes on. And as I reach my mid 30s, I realized I just don’t care to keep up with that stuff anymore. I have 70 more years at best, 40 or less at worst. I rather spend that time talking to people in front of me, in my community about the things I care about instead of hearing Joe Schmo from Idaho on the internet who could be a serial killer for all I know. It’s really sad too because I remember there was a time on the internet where I actually had fun, learned new things and met cool people or kept in touch with friends. (Not to say that isn’t totally possible now, it’s that you have to be more intentional in how you interact with people and things on the modern internet)

[@killapilla]

On the subject of criticism: I also feel like most people just don’t know what criticism is. I had a teacher that told me “don’t say a movie is good or bad or I hated that” because things really aren’t as black and white like that. and you have to understand the context in which it is created or said, etc.

[@bywoni]

khadija, no matter how toxic social media gets, i hope it brings you comfort that your content has improved the way i and many other people navigate social interactions, online or off. ❤ love your videos always

[@SunnyGoesIn1D]

Same. The amount of times I thought I was losing my mind thinking “I can’t be the only one…” just for their to be a Khadija video, a voice of reason and thoughtfully articulated nuance to save me from spiralling and get me to even challenge things I hadn’t considered.

[@EllaJohnson-rr8ov]

In middle and high school, a specific girl in my friend group would always point to me as a scapegoat for weird smells, bad makeup, sexuality, etc. I have been battling the thought of removing my socials with her after realizing she was projecting her insecurities onto me the whole time, and was trying to sabotage how others perceive me. Thank you for validating my thoughts/feelings about wearing insecurities on your sleeve. I am removing her!

[@diamondedevil]

for me thats my mom she been my #1 hater since i was born✨

[@samf.s.7731]

People have really overused the word projection to justify a lot of more alarming behavior. No, she was not projecting honey... She wanted to bully you. Not for a secondary gain, but for a very primary one... For some, it feels good to bully. It just does That's why you see people going online to actors profiles just to say horrible sh!t, find their relatives and say horrible sh!t, it might even escalate to beyond that. It's not projection, it's not self loathing. There are mental health conditions that make a person just vile, and terrible. The anonymity lets all of them get away with it, but for some of them, there's almost an exhibitionist level kink when they're not anonymous. So ... Why were you the target? Well, something about you made you recognizeable as a potentially great victim to this PoS bully. What that is, is not something I can pinpoint tbh. Sharpen your nails, you're gonna need 'em. Edit: She may have been really jelly for some reason too. And it's probably not something as obvious as you think it would be. Something that perhaps you didn't even think is enviable but...

[@bexiexz]

please please do

[@GloomyTanooki]

Being online isn't really as fun as it once was. I had to jump ship from Twitter once Elon took it over, but it was horrendous even before then. My KZbin feed is largely video essays and criticism. On Instagram the hate festers and is channeled into "jokes" containing thinly veiled racism, transphobia, misogyny, or child abuse. Violence is commodified and encouraged so as to increase traction on light-hearted meme pages. Creatives are constantly overshadowed by AI. Exposure to persistent anti-aging advertising and then being smacked with porn right after. All of this alone is horrific on a neurotypical brain, but for those of us with some additional psychological issues it can trigger things like dissociation, psychosis, or meltdowns. It is unfortunate that online spaces are already so turbulent, sometimes you have to be careful not to crash out; these anonymous interactions can really make you go insane. Thanks for your vids Khadija

[@taniabgeorge1189]

Man and I thought that only I was feeling that the internet was being overwhelmingly negative these days, reading the comments here feel so validating

[@majortom331]

You summed it up better than i could ever. I think the Panasonic combined with elon buying twitter has contributed to the overall decaying of the social media experience. The used to have enclaves of communities/ safe spaces where people could chill and and engage with whatever medium without the Rah rah.

[@solarsystems4394]

ngl i hate how video essays have just turned into complaints and thinly veiled hate like can we get fun and whimsical video essays every now & then too 😭😭

[@Me-vn3gz]

@@solarsystems4394i recommend watching the ones about random stuff you know nothing about like ever after high, different types of water, literally the most random niche things

[@Me-vn3gz]

@@solarsystems4394i think you’d like cj the x

[@josteff894]

i deleted all my apps for a few reasons.. 1.) im a black woman and ppl are so mean to us?? like i actually dont know why.. like ok racism and misogynoir, whatever.. but like after a point all this vitriol has to be questioned, no? like this is a video about blush. why are you here telling this girl racist and mean comments??? 2.) im aware of the "complaint" that everyone looks the same, but thats largely because platforms we engage on only promote a certain standard, to circumvent this users have to engage with accounts outside of that "norm" ok.. fine and dandy.. why are these abnormal accounts complaining about other people who are also divergent from this nebulous concept of beauty? "oh hohoho EYEM not going to work with a green cut crease, be mindful

[@MiniM69]

Because people are actually that racist but it’s mostly unacceptable to be that overt about it in public. I lost my faith in equitable race relations in middle school - that may seem pessimistic but it’s my truth

[@peacefulchaos333]

​@NovemberKnightsblack ppl won't even be involved and they'll still find a way to bring us into the conversation just to hate on us, I just don't get it

[@LiquidSonshine]

@@josteff894 It's not only you there has been a concerted effort to discredit the whole collective of Afro existence; men, women, children & cats. The attack on blackness is real.

[@josteff894]

the african cats...are black women even divorced from their own reports of bias? can nothing centralize them? nOT EVENTHEIR PAIN?! imsotiredlol

[@josteff894]

@@LiquidSonshine t..the afro? cats??? can black women exist in any space without being divorced from it? especially if they curated it? even when it regards tHEIR PAIN? CAN WE BE CENTRALIZED IN ANYTHING OMG

[@loveandhate6854]

Currently cutting a severe hater out of my life because they brought a lot of those feelings from online to the real world; they are so full of resentment, insecurity, and a major victim-complex. Being a hater definitely comes from a place of control but also to mask this inferiority complex with the air of superiority, to be viewed as an authority in a matter, almost completely divorced from material realities. It also just seems like saying inflammatory things really just, of course, puts all eyes on them and gives them a temporary dopamine rush of having anyone pay attention to them. Everything is very reflexive from this person and it's sad to see someone I thought I was friends with just turn into a big nothing even when confronted with this several times by several people (including me) they reflexively say the most hateful, and bitter things in reaction. Anyways thank you for this video lol

[@Anngrl69]

I have a similar friend who I’m finding it hard to continue calling a friend (we weren’t very close, just ran in the same circles). She spends what seems like 24 hours a day on Facebook and sharing all kinds of posts, but mostly political memes and rage bait with a healthy dose of misinformation. She’s a huge hardcore leftist who advocates for communism and taking down the current system, which I was open to listening to and learning from when we first met. But she has shared so many blatantly false posts and never cares to correct herself. So I just find myself not being able to trust their opinion or judgement. But I have a feeling she is resentful of her friends that don’t engage with her on Facebook because she doesn’t understand why we were “hot” and supportive but then became “cold.”

[@SofiluProductions]

It is so refreshing to see someone saying this with nuance online because it’s not just the haters, it’s the fact that for years tech companies have been building their platforms to foster this kind of mentality and mold our brains into being outrage and hate machines to increase engagement and their bottom line.

[@NickNightfall1711]

Yeah, we're not just the "product" on social media anymore, they've turned us into weapons too. I refuse to be a weapon for hate.

[@danielleroy9861]

Im not as online as my sister. I do youtube and tumblr while she does instagram, tiktok, and youtube. I saw a video about Blake Lively done by someone that I thought was pretty grounded (they weren't, the video itself felt really irresponsible to me). My exact opinions on the whole discourse aren't important, but generally they were more moderate than the negative critiques I saw in the video. I didn't feel strongly about it, and I didn't dwell all that much on it past watching the one video. Then I start a conversation with my sister, who--being on tiktok--has been inundated with conversations about her. Throughout the conversation she kept regurgitating /word for word/ the negative critiques I saw in the comments. It felt like she got talking points given to her, and it was surreal to hear. She was genuinely angry about Blake. After a while, we managed to have a decent conversation about it, but it kinda stuck with me. It felt really out of character for her.

[@hey34]

@danielleroy9861 the problem of being 'chronically online". You sort of absorb and not check or challenge. It's easier to watch and let your brain be washed with content. At first it's because it makes you feel good, then entertains you, then because it makes you feel something. Honestly it feels like one of those "coloured" pill pipelines. How you end there doesn't seem to matter, we all stumbled across the entrance, whether intentionally or not. The rabbit hole is a curiousity but exploration turns into falling deep into the void. Check in on your sister more. Help her to disconnect more often and extricate herself from the mire and muck. Maybe you guys can be each other's reality checking mechanism. "Touching grass" is good for us all, let's all do it more often and limit staring into the black mirrors of content for our own sake and those around us.

[@LJSheffRBLX]

Khadija Mbowe, your hard work is paying off, keep it up

[@sofcarolq]

The it ends with us pile on has been so bizarre. There are so many valid critiques of the film, the book, and the people who made both- but it's just melted into this monotonous soup of people just yelling at each other that reeks of misogyny and rage bait. I'm so tired. Do people not realize that being a hater of a specific celebrity is also a parasocial relationship?

[@mads597]

Really? I guess I don’t see the criticism of a thoughtless self-promotional approach which diminishes conversation about a serious social topic like DV is valid. And valuable.

[@sofcarolq]

@@mads597 my original comment doesn't contradict anything you just said. I don't disagree

[@Highlandslowlands]

​@@mads597Yeah, but I've seen far more video thumbnails of 'Blake Lively is mean and nasty' than I have of people critiquing the actual issue in a measured way. Very ironically, this has turned from something that should be highlighting the worst of misogynistic society into misogyny itself.

[@Me-vn3gz]

@@Highlandslowlandsthis. it’s like a lot of the taylor swift hate. there’s definitely some valid criticism to be had, but a lot of it is just superficial misogyny.

[@Me-vn3gz]

and it’s even crazier bc we’ve realized how terrible the media was to megan fox and other actresses like that, and we keep doing it again and again

[@JubeiKibagamiFez]

1:17 That's the thing..... Hating on things is what's not being done. Hating on people is what's being done. I think Bob Marley said this, "When world stops using people and loving things, and starts loving people and using things, the world will know peace." The internet is the epitome of materialism.

[@bexiexz]

yes!!! concise and true

[@oakleywyatt1717]

I am five (5) seconds in but I clicked this video immediately - I have been waiting for someone to unpack the Blake Lively algorithm fuelled hatemob!

[@MayISpeak]

Funny because I don’t even care for Blake Lively but the hate around her is clearly misogynistic.

[@oakleywyatt1717]

@@MayISpeak I watched that interview she did a few years ago where she was definitely rude - but now all my suggestions are about how her outfits are terrible, how she’s “always” been awful, and any other angle that gets clicks and views tbh. The criticism goes way beyond the movie and way beyond present day - ppl are really arguing she’s “ruining her career” with stuff they’ve dug up as far back as 2009.

[@chada4806]

Thank God this video exists. Some people are just haters and use "progress" as a disguise for their true intentions (even to themselves sometimes).

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

Algorithms are literally profiting off of spreading human suffering. If that's not evil I don't know what is.

[@NickNightfall1711]

Well said.

[@be-g_y-do-cr_me]

It's just so disappointing because the internet (for me at least) feels like it has changed from what I used to escape INTO something I need an escape from.

[@samf.s.7731]

Pretty much. Need to find a circle with similar ideas and beliefs in order to avoid the standard exposure to very specific vitriol

[@soyragune5623]

It just feels that social media has become a place where the person or object of hate keeps on switching every day. As you said, there does not seem to be any real thought behind the "hate" people post online.

[@Me-vn3gz]

yes, i’m so jealous of my bf who is not really online at all and has no idea of “the discourse” but at the same time it’s a special interest of mine lol

[@AchlysMaru]

I was observing my own glee in response to comments dragging Drake and Blake Lively And how weirdly exciting it felt -I think humans tend to like seeing people who have done something wrong “get what they deserve”. We like to think bad things happen to bad people and it’s convenient when someone points out a *bad person for us to collectively punish. *whether they are really bad or not. We’re just reinventing stocks, crucifixion, and tar-and-feathering for the social media age.

[@mariajo17]

I no longer have social media accounts exactly because of this. Too much negativity, you start swallowing down all those angry feelings and it has a direct impact on your well-being. Not worth it!

[@ruminationstation4200]

KZbin is social media.

[@mariajo17]

@ruminationstation4200 right, and I seldom check the comments because, when I do, there's always that pesky little fly spreading nasties everywhere... I'll keep my KZbin account to stay connected with the world, I just don't need 3 or 4 sources echoing the same stuff, thanks!

[@marklouis1890]

​@@ruminationstation4200Exactly KZbin is still a form of social media

[@Silica-black]

robin waldun made a video about critique culture and how haters may look to suffering as an indicator of spiritual enlightenment or wisdom as opposed to being "blindly content" or happy to enjoy something. he also touched on how to know when you're being a critic or an as*hole. i think his video is a great sister video to this one 🥰

[@StellarAvenger]

That's all my Twitter feed is nowadays. People dunking on this, criticizing that. It's not fun anymore. It makes me feel icky. There are points from quote tweeting a thing you don't like and the dopamine hit you get from a good ratio and having your opinions validated by a group of anonymous accounts. It's time to take a step back.

[@aielianna]

It’s why I deleted twitter around this time last year. I knew it was only gonna get worse once Elon bought it and I was so fed up with the same “discourse” over and over. I even fell for the dog piling and then I realized what I was doing was so stupid and was because I lacked validation in real life. I am personally convinced that if Satan was an app it would be twitter

[@ToMy_Kore]

Oh my goodness that’s literally me I’m currently taking a break from TikTok because of how mad everyone makes me, I was always getting into fights, always obsessed with me having more likes than the other to prove I’m right, and the dopamine I got from it made me obsessed, hyperfixated, took over my life for a bit, but as it went on, the videos got worse, the comments got dumber and I was tired of using the ‘not interested’ button so I decided to just stop. And I’ve felt way better, like waaaay better. I’m not sure if I ever want to go back to that app to be honest

[@PokhrajRoy.]

It shouldn’t feel like a luxury to have an affirming space online and yet somehow, it is.

[@cb.on.yt22]

i’ve always told my bestie, i can tell when im in a bad mental head space when i open up instagram and my notifs are filled with comment likes and replies, i never feel the need to comment on posts when im doing alright 😅 (i wanna specify that my comments are usually positive, your statement at the end about what makes people comment and looking deeper into why personally is what triggered this comment lol)

[@seastar239]

this reminds me of cinema sins and how hating became a profitable youtube channel that I frankly loved growing up

[@SunezzShine]

Self hate, lack of individuality, companies controlling what’s being displayed (algorithm), technology advancing while we as humans are hindering with our codependency with said technology. On top of the world being on fire. It makes me think of the ending to that Netflix film leave the world behind, with a hint of Black Mirror meets The Matrix. Until YOU free yourself and live IRL to regain that sense of humane community based love … you’ll forever be lost, in my opinion. That’s why I’m not on social media now. Thank you for bringing up this amazing topic🌻

[@savannahbxoxo]

I genuinely love you and your commentary/opinions on every topic you cover. Every video leaves me feeling genuinely self-reflective and validated and I appreciate that so much. I love a smart baddie fr.

[@EdieEdenKlein]

Love this video! I have always been of the mindset of "pick your battles." You can't fight every "battle," nor should every "battle" be or need to be fought. Like, there are things that have serious negative impacts and need to be criticized, and then there are things that are literally nothing and have little to no effect on anyone. No one saw this Blake Lively nonsense and thought, "Wow, what a great idea! Tonight I should go home and abuse my partner!" Is it tone deaf? Absolutely. Is it something that people should address? Sure, why not? Is it something that needed the whole damn town to come out with pitchforks and torches? Most likely not. Saying, "Hey sister, this is a little tone deaf; maybe reconsider these choices." Probably would have sufficed. The thing is, people are so angry, and there is little place for people to acceptably rid themselves of that anger. So online and celebrity drama becomes a "safe/anonymous and acceptable" place to vent all this anger. The problem is, at some point people stop seeing the people on the other side of their comments and rage baiting as people as well. At some point they started thinking that it was a victimless crime or that these people deserve a ridiculous amount of hate for pretty minor things in some cases. People act like judge, jury, and executioner on every little tiny thing. It seems exhausting just thinking about living that way. Like, in the whole of the K-Pop fandom sphere, it is pretty common for people to treat women idols who act "overly" feminine like a fucking war criminal. For example, a SIXTEEN-year old idol was brutally attacked online for how she threw a fucking baseball. Literally couldn't go anywhere without seeing videos or comments treating the whole thing like she savagely killed a family or some shit. Just compilations after compilations berating this child for being a "pick me." Also, since around the start of the pandemic it's been really big for people to alter videos, or fake tweets or some shit, to create a narrative to get angry at, and the sad thing is other people see that shit and do no critical thinking or fact checking and take the nonsense as fact, then it's just a dog pile on a person who did nothing wrong. Also, kind of related but also not, I will literally never understand people inserting themselves into celebrities private lives/relationships. ("You" being used as a general all encompassing word here) You don't know those people, and they don't know you; mind your damn business and keep your nose out of people's private lives. They are full grown adults who can handle their own business; and you are a weirdo for thinking it's acceptable for you to stalk these people and insert yourself in their private lives where you most likely are not wanted. Nor do you, and likely never will, ever know what's actually going on in those situations. I mean, how many times have people canceled a celebrity only to realize that they had no fucking idea what they were talking about or getting angry about the whole time, and that the person they canceled was the victim the whole time? Too many is the answer. It's their private matter; they are grown and can and should be able to handle it privately with only the people who need to be involved. It just gives the same energy as those dance moms who are miserable and live their lives through their children. They aren't dolls nor a soap opera; these are real people whose privacy is being invaded for your sick amusement. Anonymity is truly a killer. I think we have just become so detached from each other because there is always a tangible distance. The problem is, I think a lot of us have stopped seeing the people we watch behind a screen as people, and that really scares me. Also, I think people just weirdly like having things to be angry about, sounds pretty miserable to me but go off I guess. I just beg that people leave other people out of their misery. Also, if you are somebody who needs a celebrity to tell you how to feel about a situation or where your morals should lie, absolutely go out and touch some grass.

[@NickNightfall1711]

I've seen so many people online say that they don't actually see other people online as being real people that it's disturbing. They use that distorted view of others to justify a lot of cruelty. Your comment reminded me of that. I think it's really important that we all remember and keep in mind that everyone we see, whether they're behind a screen or not, is just as much of a real and valid human being as we are, with feelings and lives that are just as important and valuable as our own, because a lot of people really don't get that anymore and it shows. We can't lose sight of one another's humanity, the minute you dehumanize other human beings in this way, you allow a historically dangerous form of hate to take root in your heart.

[@johnwalker1058]

"Also, I think people just weirdly like having things to be angry about, sounds pretty miserable to me but go off I guess." I think for some people, they don't have much of a grand sense of purpose in their lives, so doing something like this can feel like they're doing some sort of good and necessary thing that makes the world a better place or creates something good, thus giving the feeling of having a more meaningful life. This goes especially for people who seem to act like they're doing some sort of social activism by dogpiling someone online. It also relates to the dynamics of cancel culture when the person who is getting cancelled didn't do something actually horrible and is simply being held accountable for it but instead was just getting hated on for no good reason.

[@naimamorgan6209]

Thank you for this. I watched and commented on 1 damn Blake Lively video and for the whole week all I saw was conent creators dragging that woman . I almost ...almost...felt bad for her

[@gleann_cuilinn]

Haters will always interpret things in the worst way so that they can hate on their target. Like how people are constantly taking screenshots from Contrapoints videos and accusing her of expressing ideas that she never expressed.

[@NickNightfall1711]

Yup, once someone decides to scapegoat you like that, everything you do is wrong/bad in their eyes and they will interpret it in the most negative ways possible.

[@tayXbay]

I’ve actually been feeling bad about all of the hate Blake Lively and female celebrities in general tend to receive as of late for being out of touch or unlikeable. It feels like men have to be abusers to get anywhere near the same level of hate for more than a week.

[@remytherat2929]

Whenever there is a new female celebrity/person the internet decides to hate I have to take a step back and really question the narrative that’s being put up. Often the hate is completely overblown and just not necessary. Once you start to notice the patterns it all becomes quite ridiculous. I honestly urge other women to do this too because I think it helps with your perception of yourself as well.

[@bexiexz]

@@remytherat2929 yess

[@ciangkukay]

The switch-up on female celebs is always so sad and fascinating to watch, you know its inevitable once they get to a level of success that makes people feel some type of way.

[@emilyonizuka4698]

talking about the anonymity and part of a crowd part made me think of a theory I have about some of the meanest rudest people being people with self-esteem issues. not just because they're lashing out because of it, but because they don't think they have an impact. like if they think they don't matter, they probably think it doesn't matter if they say something hurtful because they probably don't think they're making that much of an impact so it doesn't really matter. I have no backing research for it. it's just a thought I've had for a while just from watching people and being someone who started watching what I was saying when I realized it did actually affect people (probably around high school when I started forming a sense of self or whatever).

[@NickNightfall1711]

This is a really interesting theory, I'm going to be thinking about it a lot. Thanks for sharing it. 🙂

[@CR-jt1mt]

Truly, it is so tiring just being on the internet. What really gets me is how many people manipulate hateful comments in order to get more engagement. It feels like most moves on social media are not thought out, considerate of others, and attention seeking..? Idk but what I do know is that we don't need to see so many attacks because that acts as fuel which can become too much to handle. People are simply attracting that negativity to themselves :/ Sometimes it's good to j listen and take in the info instead of reacting. I do appreciate how safe it feels to comment here and on this topic!

[@floraidh4097]

I'm glad that I learned my lesson about hating on someone before social media. I was about 17 and I realized that I was making fun of something my friend liked because I was jealous and since I had to do that hating in person I also had to face how it was hurting my friend. It's stopped me from doing any of that nonsense online, I may gripe to myself but if I hear myself hating for hates sake I keep it to myself.

[@bluetal5524]

its been so draining to be online. ive seen how its changed people around me as the years have gone by that now it feels hard to have a conversation with people even outside the online space. its making people drain the life from others with their presence as a norm instead adding on to others lives with your presence in a helpful or positive way. idk if that wording made sense of what im trying to say 💀 but yeah.

[@LiquidSonshine]

@@bluetal5524 Lots of content creators are crashing out, limiting their time on, or are quitting all together. It's too much.

[@2headed]

I needed this reminder. I def have partaken in this kind of behaviour and left mean presumptions about said celebs on D’Angelo’s vids. And an off hand remark I made on a insta post got waaaaay to much traction for me I keep getting notifications and I just want to turn them off. Both cases. Should’ve considered before I typed.

[@paulettejordan8505]

People use social media as way to be hateful these days. Especially those who use faceless accounts and fake names.

[@NickNightfall1711]

Seriously. I dealt with one of those anonymous hater types on Instagram pretty recently when I was sharing my art. I pretended their comment was just a funny joke, laughed at it and congratulated them on it. They were so thrown off they didn't know what to do, so they sent this emoji 🤗 and followed my account. 💀 People feel super brave being faceless and hiding behind screens, it can bring out the worst in them. But I've been dealing with bullies since I was 8 years old due to being queer and neurodivergent and learned really early to turn it all into a joke (I was a total class clown who ended up making the bullies laugh). A lot of the hate comes from deep insecurity.

[@luzolo21]

Oh Khadija this conversation was so so important. I've deleted the twitter app from my phone little over a month ago. but i was attached to that echo chamber / vitriol environment that it festers. and its all so juvenile, is it not?! I remember keeping on the back of my mind that i'd go back around award season if "BRAT" happened to sweep the aoty and specifically tag the victory lap on this one stan page that, for a lack for better wording, was hating on the record (bc it's below their fav, that's stan twt logic). now i stop to think about it: what do i expect to accomplish by that? experience them seethe? why, when i am aware and i comprehend in my rational self that hate only begets more hate??? my account is now scheduled for deletion after that 30 days deactivation period. i think what i wanted to say is this conversation was very eye opening, so thank you very much!!

[@NarcissaDeville]

I do feel like the internet really became a more frustrating place in so many ways when everything became monetizable. And it's a catch 22 because I'm a big believer that content creators should be paid for the work that we do and not censored per see, but I worry that like when hate becomes incentivized by a lot of social media outlets because it's a way to get clicks and attention and they've admitted to doing so. That becomes a larger issue. Some social media sites have taken to at least attempting to combat this with smaller measures like fact checking on Twitter and recently KZbin (or adding context to things) but I'd like to see more positive content boosted rather than negative content. That feels like a smaller change that could be made.

[@soulchild2003]

Society has devolved before our very eyes 😭

[@lanelledwards2225]

Thank you for speaking on the cycle of insecurity.

[@lizardrustler]

oh that part in the beginning about hating vs criticism reminds me of this: in the righteous mind by jonathan haidt, he talks about moral intuition and moral reasoning. so moral intuition is the main cause of your moral judgement, not your reasoning. reasoning comes AFTER intuition to make it make sense, but it's really the servant of the intuitions. because of our built-in intuition, we make moral judgements quickly. so there's two cognitive processes when we make judgements, a "seeing-that" and a "reasoning-why." from my understanding, seeing that is the pattern matching that's been built into our brains for the longest time, like with sugary food, we sense it and we stop to eat it. this is basic stuff, it's quick processing our brains make. "reasoning-why" however, only came when we developed language. it's a conscious thing that we developed to explain ourselves to other creatures. reasoning why is work. he says: "I can't call for the community to punish you simply because I don't like what you're doing. I have to point to something outside of my own preferences, and that pointing is our moral reasoning. We do moral reasoning not to reconstruct the actual reasons why we ourselves came to a judgement; we reason to find the best possible reasons why somebody else ought to join us in our judgement." khadija is right! but also its not just abt us and what we feel, at least when it comes to criticizing. the hating is our moral intuition making a split second decision that this is bad! but when we criticize, we have to find evidence for why thats bad so that we feel that our hating makes sense to others. idk sorry if this doesnt fit i just wanna yap. give the book a read guys its rlly good (forgive me if my explanation isnt clear i js had to squeeze out all my brain power for a school essay and i havent been sleeping)

[@SaiyanSerenityV]

Funny how I was thinking about this exact thing on my walk not five minutes ago, then I open KZbin to this! I'm a voice actor, which is very much like content creation when it comes to insecurities (ESPECIALLY pertaining to success and seeing your peers succeed around you). It caused me to quit initially, because I couldn't stop getting overly upset at other people and I was acting up and angry all the time. It helped when I came back to acting after maturing and I know how to sit with those feelings now, and not only am I happier but I'm finally finding success as well. I try to limit my online usage but kind of fail at it - though for all the social media algorithms trying to manufacture engagement via rage, I've found a lost love in Tumblr lately. Seems like nothing at all has changed there, and "hot takes" aren't the way to gain traction over there. Getting offline helps more but it's just nice to have a platform that feels like the older internet.

[@trishapellis]

I got into Facebook at age 14 or something because my mother wanted 'neighbors' in Farmville and I thought the game looked fun. When I was... 22? I stopped using Facebook altogether because I lost too much time on it. At the time I was just out of college, looking for a job, and I found myself wasting so much time just scrolling and arguing with trolls (my impulse control wasn't on point at the time) that I didn't actually do anything in a day that made me feel positive or productive. Like six years later I finally deleted the account completely. I never got any other social media. No Twitter, Instagram, Tiktok, Snapchat, whatever other stuff exists out there these days - I have Whatsapp to talk to my friends, and I'm here on KZbin, and that's it. When I hear about how Facebook is all AI images and boomers believing said images now, and Twitter is all toxic people fighting, and Tiktok is all misinformation/disinformation and children who should not be on the internet at all yet... I'm glad I avoided all of this.

[@Mathilda-b9d]

Here from wizardliz's story

[@zoeydamico5185]

omgggg NOOOO Khadija! when you were talking about your insecurities about KZbin I was feeling heartbroken. Your channel is EVERYTHINGGGG... you have so many followers that love ya

[@thesingingtown]

This perspective is so helpful to hear. I struggle a lot with emotional regulation (autism + ADHD). Thank you for sharing your thoughts as always, Khadija ❤

[@dmcginnis1000]

An exhausting topic for sure. I recommend, if you are a dog person, to take a dog out for a walk without your phone. Probably my solution to any social media related issue, but it works.

[@stellarsyd]

Bo Burnham has been talking about this for years, thanks for bringing up this discourse! So important

[@Lucifer-gr2mf]

Those who came through the wizardliz attandance >>>

[@HeleneOl-os3uq]

What happened?

[@jadorejoe]

At the beginning of the video and I must say I think about this a lot. I miss the early 2010s internet. It was mainly just fun community and a way to connect with others and now it feels like I have to fight against corporations every day to just use it :/

[@c.c.292]

I realized that in the kpop community. It was never peace but it wasn't what it is today I'll say it started like 5/6 years ago and today I feel like it's constantly hating, everyday I wake up a new hate train start... It takes one comment/one KZbin video/on TikTok to start the machine. It's so frustrating because it's so obvious that people are hating based of nothing and just bored, the worst part is that the kpop industry/ Korean society is already very toxic towards the artists and is already responsible for several s**cides and it just fells like people don't care about the consequences of their actions. Other idols will d*e they will say "rip" then start another hate train I wish it will change but it doesn't seem like it and as an old kpop Stan it just makes me engage less and less with kpop as a whole...

[@you_ok186]

Real life violent people never made me hopeless but online is filled with toxicity where millions of people just show how evil & vile they are! Always throwing insults, offensive jokes just to mock vulnerable people & their sufferings are the norm in social media. I dont feel safe/comfortable in social media anymore. People never think how their words affect others & they mostly give some shallow opinions on non typical people. My uni teacher yesterday said, " Gen Z's emotions are not problems but how they handle it & their lack of depth is. This gen is hypocritic about their bullying & abuse." Now I think it is very true. We love to give labels to people like "lazy", " dumb", "immature", etc but dont want to understand why they are like that. Older gen was already rude & toxic, now we are on different levels on toxicity. Both gen are incapable of giving constructive criticism😢. Shutting people by popularity of problematic people is so wrong.

[@jewel3032]

i totally agree that negativity online has become absolutely exhausting. it seems like everything from twitter to tiktok is now fueled by mostly rage bait, and people just continue to feed into it. i’ve also noticed people online sharing the sentiment that it’s cool to be a hater, which isn’t really new, so i also don’t get how people aren’t tired!! but being a hater is also 100% often confused with expressing valid criticism. mina le did another great video about this!

[@vviinn3022]

i’ve found myself becoming like the bitter older black women in the office when they see the younger, pretty, quiet black girl start there and i HATE IT. there was a black girl in twitter that posted a group pic of her and her friends for their first day of school. lace fronts, full beat faces, brand name sneakers, etc. was it jealousy bc i didn’t look nearly that pretty when i was in hs? yeah pretty much. was it worry bc i don’t want them to have to adhere to certain heightened beauty standards set for young girls nowadays? yes absolutely. it’s a whole culmination of things. and i also have to remember that I DONT KNOW THESE GIRLS. idk how confident they are, how their parents are raising them. and i ultimately got in my head that they just looked really cute and im glad they’re making their hs experience fun and memorable. other times when i see ppl who have back to back experiences that are the exact same as my interests i have to block them because of my jealousy. like when i get a certain feeling in my chest seeing how cool where they live is, the concerts and conventions they get to go to, i can’t handle seeing things that im missing out on repeatedly

[@marklouis1890]

Recommend you for being self aware and the fact that you can pinpoint and articulate your emotions. That's a great first step

[@HappyHitsuKun]

As someone who enjoys criticizing and definitely has gotten into hate at times, I am very glad I'm not a creator. Sometimes I really do feel rejected because my friends might ignore everything positive I have to say, but be bothered by anything negative i say about our shared interests. Like. Is arguing the only way I can get more of a response than "uh-huh"? I imagine being a creator amplifies that a thousand-fold.

[@skateisdestiny]

I've been so conscious of my media engagement lately and the way the algorithm fed me and what I, myself, feed it. There is so much noise out there. So, so much noise. And I'm starting to feel nervous about what the noise may be doing to my head. These days, I fill my time with creating and writing and working and loving and communing with people. And when I approach a piece of art, I try to do so with an expansive mind, looking for what I could love and get out of it before any search for the flaws to cause outrage. When I don't like something, I step away and move on. When I see a video or an article or a meme talking about X controvery or Y problematic person or the latest internet drama, I ask myself honestly: Why do I care? And where else can this energy be allocated. Staying informed these days has started to look a lot like watching half snippets of half information that is past down from shady resources that have heard it through a telephone themselves. So I don't engage with it that way anymore. I take it easy, I take it slow. I don't form immediate opinions. I don't click on every link. I don't share memes or infographics. There is no dopamine hit, and that is hard. There is no outrage, and I was initially worried that I'm missing things. Until I realized that I was actually missing MY LIFE by the constant loop I stuck myself into. Just because there is noise, doesn't mean it's worth listening to. My algo isn't perfect, it never will be, but it has recovered. My engagement now is equal parts loving and critical and aspiring and inspired. I'm happy to say that I've never left a mean comment on the internet before, but I'm even happier to say that I do not engage with content dissecting the downfalls and piling on hatred on people anymore.

[@NickNightfall1711]

Damn, this comment is SO good and full of great tips that others can use, I know I will be. And you're right, we're missing out on our own lives by engaging in all of this. That was a wake up call. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. 🙂

[@bywoni]

this video really hit the nail on the head. i have been noticing a rise the trend of commentary channels reporting on events in pop culture just parroting the general consensus (sometimes literally putting whole excerpts of OTHER PEOPLE's opinions) without really adding in their own input. and this means that if there is a witch hunt against somebody it becomes very easy to just throw a general sentiment of disdain towards that person to get likes and views. i guess it depends on our intentions of what we want to put out into the universe. if we wanna criticise for attention, the critique will just remain as a statement of hatred.

[@Winter-bw5yp]

This came at the perfect time. Too much hate online these days. Just way too much. It is being rewarded and ruining our happiness

[@Lhene9]

I have had friend groups based on hating and friend groups based on supporting. And as much as I miss the no-holds-barred intellectual debates of the hating group, I don't regret the choice to turn away and choose softer, more caring friends.

[@SpaceJunk-y3q]

Getting off socials was the best thing i did for my mental health. Im literally happier, never expected it to have SUCH an impact

[@aminazebra]

First of all, I think I speak for everybody when I say your content is SO valued and you absolutely are NOT replaceable. I just discovered your channel a few weeks ago and you have such an eloquent way of discussing things, it is actually so refreshing. Also definitely relate to your sentiments about internet vibes recently. I deleted most of my social media except instagram, and thats on its way out too because it just feels so draining nowadays

[@kaylasays]

Loved this, it's so important to understand how online spaces encourage this mentality. Algorithms thrive on these monthly "dog pile" moments. And even if you have a more level-headed or unbiased take about a popular issue, you have to package the content in this drama heavy "hater" style in order to break through to the algorithm, otherwise people won't pay attention. Thanks for the video Khadija !!

[@charliehopkins6568]

Thank you for highlighting the current aspects of social media that, it looks, have driven many of us to take a break. I tell my friends often social media doesn't equal reality so it's good to vibe offline every so often

[@aimskii]

i will be more exaplanatory online in comparison to in real life because i'm neurodivergent and it's a lot easier for me to process something someone has said when i can see it in front of me rather than verbally - i take in information better when i read it and can re-read it. like if someone argues with me in real life i will go so red from the fact that im standing there processing what they're saying, like i feel frozen which might give the other person more confidence in what they have said even if they've said somehing wrong. hopefully someone can relate to this lol, i feel quite lonely in this.

[@shadaeatkinson8817]

Thank you for continuing to create even when sometimes you may feel uninspired or not encouraged. I wish you well!!! I love watching your videos💐🍄

[@scottbuck1572]

I love Urban Dic: its either someone who feels a very specific way or it's an entemology professor's hobby

[@milaces1323]

I want you to know that you are an amazing communicator and that because of you I have taken your "you can always change your mind" as a way to live and see the world and I think I'm better for it. So thank you Khadija, truly ❤️

[@whatsmaname9219]

This is what I’ve been thinking KZbin is becoming this everlasting critique think piece platform so much so that I barely watch videos anymore because it’s EXHAUSTING. Id rather watch goofy shorts for a bit. At least I get a good feeling .

[@RisingStarFalls]

I was thinking this about this the other day. Every time I open this app, it’s always some hateful think piece video with equally hateful comments. No matter how many time I try to reconfigure my algorithm, I can’t escape this content. If I see one more “Why the Acolyte sucked” review, I’m going to lose my mind.

[@sharonbaker3007]

I think within the hater that there’s the base motivation of “wanting to look good and avoid looking bad” type of social capital and personal righteousness, so much so that being so extraordinarily RIGHT that folks will listen to everything one says, and respect their opinion over others. Maybe there’s an evolutionary advantage here, where one gets more food, protection, privilege…gosh it’s exhausting.

[@Adri_Unsung]

I got off twitter and Instagram almost a year ago and the only thing that causes me to feel rage anymore is football and traffic and that… that feels good. I don’t have or care to have opinions on most irrelevant things anymore. It’s just none of my business anymore cause I stopped showing up to the reaction factory. Also, you’re one of the most thought provoking, insightful, approachable KZbin video-essayists and the work you do is good and engaging and I appreciate you for making it!

[@NickNightfall1711]

I just wanted to say that speaking for myself, I always care about and respect what you have to say, you have really great takes on things and never fail to make me think and grow as a person. I hope you know how truly appreciated your voice is in this space, it's a voice of reason, empathy and kindness and that is so needed in this world, especially now.

[@MeezyCreezy504]

The haterstion and holleration in the dancers! Yas! I honestly have to tell you I love your content. Perspective. Humor. I feel like I'm chopping it up with my friend when I watch your videos. Thank you for a voice of reason that's accessible and accommodating. I appreciate you lady!

[@tommylakindasorta3068]

This problem definitely needs to be talked about more. Thank you!

[@AhkeYahWoolyHaire]

I was thinking when I clicked on your video about how much I really am interested in your point of view I’m dealing with the hater shadow ban so you are encouraging me right now thank you

[@Highlandslowlands]

I've just started watching your content and it's really a much needed breath of fresh air. Nearly every platform online has felt like a cess pool of piranhas. I literally have never cared about Blake Lively one way or another and yet every other video is her on my feed.

[@oliviac1262]

The only thing ive wanted to do for like a decade is make youtube videos,, but people are so cruel and the demand is so high im too worried Ill be bad at it and ridiculed. Hopefully one day Ill try regardless

[@NickNightfall1711]

It can be really scary putting yourself out there, especially these days, but I hope you do try one day.

[@hannahb1631]

I really like how you talked about getting activated and then having to make the choice to sit with and unpack that reaction, otherwise the knee-jerk reaction is hate. Disengagement is such a good tool to use, especially online. Thank you for another great video! ❤️

[@katerrinah5442]

I feel this video so much. I've been forced to spend almost no time on social media due to health reasons the last 6 months. And I feel like it's made me realise how toxic some online spaces I was in are. Had to leave some friendships behind because life is too short to be nothing but negative 24/7

[@aquariusmoon3901]

You don't seem like your typical self today, sending good vibes and well wishes! Appreciate you!!

[@princessrailgun9223]

I've encountered a lot of people don't even know the thing they hate, they just regurgitate what other people have said, all while going out of their way to go into small groups of people who like *the thing* just to say how much they hate it. its just bizarre and lead me to never interact with much of the internet

[@sylvie1815]

I'm just going to say, in terms of discourse channels, you are my favorite. I learns lot and see things from a different perspective, and I appreciate it as well as all the work you do for your videos

[@omfgacceptmyname]

and i ain't on it much anymore. been loving 'the library' and 'talking directly to other people in real space'...😢😢😢

[@ddiemadh0e]

people have found positive ways to bully people behind insidious forms of political correctness when they really have some ulterior motives behind it

[@SantiagoSanchez-ho4zw]

I’ve been thinking about this exact thing for some weeks now, I feel that any kind of media put out there is trying to make me a lot of emotions but not joy. Like, I remember going on the internet to feel some kind of joy, now I feel horrible. Anyways, thanks for sharing your thoughts, I found out your videos some weeks ago and like ‘em a lot. 💗

[@thearchon5013]

Khadija, this video was desperately needed. Thank you for supplying

[@Miyananana]

That song “haters anthem” by infinity song I feel like addresses this. Ironically the chorus got popular on TikTok and I feel most people missed the second part of the song that addresses the insecurities of “haters”

[@honeybadger811]

I needed that, on both sides of the line. Solid take. Thank you x