Kids in the Hall - S03E08 - Freedom of Speech ("You use the word 'ascertain' too much.")

Starring Bruce McCulloch and Dave Foley. Original air date Tuesday, November 19 1991.

[@SixxThirtyFive]

Decades later every time I hear the word ascertain I recall this sketch and giggle like a 7 yr old internally.

[@lorenmorgan1931]

Everytime I write an email with ascertain or delineate in it, I laugh as well. Good Stuff!

[@ChloeKestermont]

SAME

[@dauntae24]

Same. Also the phrase “I had the pear dream again”.

[@LEOhopeful]

"Ascertain" and "delineate" have been in my head with this sketch for 30 years. In here now to send this video to my boss (I now work on a loading dock also lol)

[@jonesey251]

I've wanted to do this with several people through the years over the word "Literally"

[@CoopDVille-rx3hp]

Oh,you mean how people like to use it to add extra emphasis to something, as though that has EVER been the way that it was intended to be used!? Cuz I definitely don't know anyone who does THAT.

[@tsuobachi]

I ascertain that you're delineating a scenario in which many of us literally find ourselves.

[@CoopDVille-rx3hp]

@@tsuobachi HAHAHAHA!!!😂 Best damn reply I've ever gotten,no question! But of course I would literally be forever grateful....okay,maybe not literally FOREVER.....if you would delineate these wild ascertainations. .....my spell-check did not care for that last word. Clearly it's never seen this sketch.

[@joefelice5062]

Or people who say “like” as a space filler in conversation, and also use the word “like” in their analogies in the same conversation, so they say “like” more than twice in any given sentence.

[@CoopDVille-rx3hp]

@@joefelice5062 I've got to be honest; I do that all the time. And for the exact reason you said,of course. As a total grammer nazi,I'm aware that it's not the best look,but it is a very deeply ingrained habit at this point. I've found that most of the time it's either "like" or "uuhhh...uummm..." It's one of many reasons why I work much better with the printed word. No stuttering or stammering. No losing my train of thought. Just typos. Lots and lots of typos.

[@douglasphillips5870]

"Whatever you do in the privacy of your home with your good lady wife is your business" is the line that always got me.

[@cynthia.marina]

I don't understand much that bit, I still lagh whenever I see this skit though

[@johansmallberries9874]

Everybody remembers ascertain and delineate from this, but for me it’s always “comprende.. vous?”

[@crashburn3292]

k?

[@PS-nf3xw]

I see you are a man of taste

[@swishfish8858]

For me it's always "Nooo, it's not *Sanchez!!!"*

[@Uriel238]

This is where I learned _delineate._ Right here. This skit. My life has never been the same.

[@TamaraKane]

"A boy gets to be a man when a man is needed." - Flight

[@ryankuczynski5705]

Every time I use 'delineate', I have this sketch in my head

[@jmricks73]

Same here.

[@imightbebiased9311]

I ascertained that someone would say this in the comments.

[@geraldperez2768]

Same!

[@CoopDVille-rx3hp]

Both "ascertain" and "delineate" bring me directly to Kids In The Hall and this skit. And no doubt they always will.

[@BeeBumper]

So once

[@mchoffner8497]

Bruce always brought out the idiosyncrasies of workplace dynamics

[@holycow818181]

Hmm, "idiosyncracies"...

[@mangrove]

I like how Bruce only says "ascertain" twice before the joke is delivered. It's not overtly obvious, upon first viewing, but does set the tone for the sketch.

[@TrashLefties]

I had a coworker that used the word "copacetic" waaaaay too much.

[@destubae3271]

Did he listen to the Local H song once and never was the same again?

[@garaschneider4808]

"Copacetic" was the exact word Bruce said he heard all the time at a warehouse and how it inspired this sketch.

[@BettinaBalser]

I will forever be madly in love with Bruce McCulloch. My husband knows this, and approves.

[@loonatticat]

EeeeeRadicatorrr!!!!

[@sstaners1234]

I ascertain you have good taste in men.

[@thedavesiknow4598]

Me too!

[@drgrl]

I can live with that...

[@kathleenpatricia3794]

Bruce is a cutie 💯!

[@lewdwig]

Eschew obfuscation, espouse elucidation.

[@EthanTrewhitt]

Verily.

[@rotisseriebear5394]

When Dennis Miller was a sports commentator, he used a lot of obscure references to old athletes. Someone in the crowd had a sign that said "Hey Dennis, Eschew Obfuscation!" When the camera panned the crowd and stopped on the sign, he read it and responded "Eschew you, pal."

[@menghao737]

Never use a larger word when a more diminutive selection would suffice. Or in other words, eschew obfuscation!

[@dimviesel]

Preposterous 😄

[@maranscandy9350]

@@menghao737 Or everyone could just point and make grunting sounds. 😂

[@kit2770]

"No, it's the fact that you use the word 'ascertain' too much." Lol. This sketch is so damn good. So, so good.

[@RAD6150]

Two to three hundred times daily? Inconceivable!

[@Clyde-S-Wilcox]

"Its the older men, the ones nearing retirement."😂😂😂

[@tncorgi92]

I've been looking for this sketch for a long time, happy to ascertain it's here.

[@sharonhall5441]

Felt like crap today, but I never fail to be cheered by Kids in the Hall. Thanks guys!

[@kellmac]

A former co-worker used the phrase 'one fell swoop' multiple times a day. She didn't like it when I started finishing the line as she was saying it, yet she didn't take the hint. 20 years later, I still despise the phrase.

[@blkrhino7961]

Two phrases I irrationally hate: "many moons ago", and "here's the kicker."

[@Burhanontheranch]

This also beautifully illustrates how it's really impossible to correct people because when you address one problem they'll just immediately shift their weird fixations over to another shiny thing.

[@SixxThirtyFive]

Even worse, using words they don't fully understand...over and over. A coworker of mine keeps using the word "validate" in place of the word "confirm". I've explained to her in the simplest of terms that confirmation is just agreeing to something, acknowledging the truth of something and that validation is making something legally valid or officials granting a sanction by marking a document (usually a seal), etc. She doesn't get it.

[@Grimenoughtomaketherobotcry]

@@SixxThirtyFive I hope they stop using "validate" and start using "invalidate" on you!

[@SixxThirtyFive]

@@Grimenoughtomaketherobotcry Whoa there. I didn't direct my comment at you. Why did it upset you so much? Did I bring up old memories? Are you having Vietnam-esque flashbacks from middle school English? Did I somehow INVALIDATE your widdle feelings?

[@Grimenoughtomaketherobotcry]

@@SixxThirtyFive May the heavens rain "INVALIDATE" upon you!!! INVALIDATE! INVALIDATE! INVALIDATE!

[@SixxThirtyFive]

@@Grimenoughtomaketherobotcry Does anyone else hear a baby crying?

[@robsaice2776]

Top ten of all time for me. I've actually used this at work, i was a boss myself. lol.

[@jmathieson15]

Watching the news and they keep saying ascertain the election. It reminded me of this episode so I looked it up and checked to see when it was released. November 19, 1991....29 years ago today. I must’ve watched it that day. Makes me feel so old 😬

[@pringlescan81]

“Good morning fellas! Hand me that thing. Boy, this works hard! Guys, break’s over.” Words to live by.

[@sstaners1234]

“Good morning fellas. Boy this works hard. Hand me that thing. Breaks over.” I ascertain you can’t go wrong with these phrases.

[@thedavesiknow4598]

Truly! I get chatty at work, so this is good advice.

[@ManInArea]

Of all their great skits this is the one i think of most often.

[@jaywinger79]

I ascertained that this might be the case...

[@marcryptic]

Thanks for uploading this. I ascertain that it was the correct decision.

[@bds8754]

I have been searching for this for years. Thank you.

[@neuvocastezero1838]

This sketch is very ascertaining.

[@arthurjeremypearson]

This is the best

[@Pimsleurable]

I was always fond of *ameliorated* .

[@eikibekk663]

"Nothing can ameliorate the ineptitude of Princpal Skinner"

[@DarthMohammedRules]

I'll be honest, I had to look up the definition of this word just so I could accurately ascertain if I was using it correctly in my comment here.

[@BeeBumper]

These guys walking down the street all cool like is what a gang in the Disney universe looks like.

[@jackwody7774]

It always amazed me how they came up with all these imaginative sketches

[@mentalphilanthropist35]

I'm sure they've lived through these experiences. 😂

[@thetruthexperiment]

O man, I finally saw the word delineate used after all these years. I thought it meant something completely different. It doesn’t mean remove, it means define. So all this time, ever since I saw this back in the 1990s I’ve been driving dock workers crazy.

[@TobyLarge]

Sanchez here. You need to stop that shit.

[@sugarnads]

Youre thinking of delaminate

[@TokyoXtreme]

Basically "sketch out" or "outline".

[@SmithersJones]

When on doubt, blame it on Sanchez.

[@daveidmarx8296]

Dirty Sanchez.

[@brianm5563]

"Good morning, fellas, hand me that thing, boy this work's hard, guys break's over." 🤣🤣

[@russell2952]

The word synergy always made me want to throw my laptop at someone. For some reason people aren't using it now that they know they can be removed from a meeting with the click of a button.

[@tncorgi92]

I used to work at a direct marketing firm, the documents I had to prepare for the sales staff, all full of buzzwords and clichés, drove me up a fucking wall sometimes. It's a wonder there weren't any murders.

[@TokyoXtreme]

Nowadays we're getting "overwhelm" being used as a noun. "Avoid the overwhelm" and so on. If I were the boss, I'd definitely delineate my consternation with any personnel who so uttered such tomfoolery 😡

[@muskratrepairservices7701]

A perfectly written sketch. Which occurs in less than 3 minutes. Man they had a good thing goin on

[@Charliehund100]

Kudos to Sanchez for minding his own business and not complaining about Bruce's ascertination.

[@sampleoffers1978]

Do you know how much trouble this sketch got me in. Zero. Thanks Kids in Hall

[@written12]

Another off-the-wall Kids classic. “You use the word ‘ascertain’ 200 times a day”

[@sequoiahughes8536]

One of my favorite sketches

[@tonyleva35]

Guys, break's over.

[@arthurjeremypearson]

Boy, this work's hard

[@ShelleyDuncan]

Good morning, fellas.

[@dinahkyle3196]

Hand me that thing!

[@draftday8078]

2021 anyone?

[@a.bartlett9898]

This is my favorite sketch!

[@jaedaens]

I was drunk and chatting with a few friends last week. One of them asked me what 'acquiesce' meant. She mentioned later that I said it again, so I had to ask if she'd ever seen this skit. She hadn't, but laughed at the concept since I guess I turned in to Mr. Ascertain.

[@RobotReg]

"Was it Sanchez!?"

[@JANNAHPRINCESS]

I learnr Ascertain and someone showed me this video and now i love this. I wanna watch the series.... Though I don understand the meaning 100%:) And i searched it as "Kids in the hell".... It was HALL 😂😂😅😅😅 i thought it's weird too

[@NewfieLawNerd]

Inconceivable

[@christopherwellman2364]

Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

[@cityhawk]

If you want to use a new SAT word every week, and use it as often as possible. Something like “antediluvian”.

[@SophiaAphrodite]

Then it was "literally". Now it's "underrated "

[@mitchellhughes5180]

Genius

[@isaacbobjork7053]

Since I saw this the first time I can never again hear the word ascertain without laughing

[@melissateague3936]

My favorite skit.

[@mchoffner8497]

Timeless

[@DurkMcGerk]

"So... other... few words... fit."

[@CruceEntertainment]

Kinda like “synergy”.

[@Emiliapocalypse]

Just saw a comment on reddit that reminded me of this sketch, not sure if they were referencing it or just using the word “ascertain” 😅

[@averycockburn31]

Anyone else watching this because of the Presidential transition requiring ascertainment?

[@amybesuden6892]

Ahhhh! Meeee!!!! Every time I’ve heard them say ascertain the past week I’ve thought of this clip, I finally had to google it up! I love you for this comment.

[@averycockburn31]

@@amybesuden6892 I just cannot hear...that word...without laughing. That and delineate. 😆

[@amybesuden6892]

Avery Cockburn All so hilarious! I don’t think I’ve seen that skit in close to 20 years. I was so proud when I described it then played it for my husband and I remembered it perfectly, even the delineate! He didn’t remem this one.

[@averycockburn31]

@@amybesuden6892 I'm pretty sure I've only seen this sketch once before today. I don't know why it stuck with me, other than the fact my husband and I bring it up every few years when someone says one of those two words.

[@mpacella88]

Yes 😂

[@Henry-kz4gn]

This skit was very ascertaining.

[@vijaynair2403]

I’ve ascertained that there’s a boom in the shot @1:41

[@samwlodawskitheone]

I delineate that Dave Foley has created a monster.

[@ericwilliams1659]

Does anyone know which streaming service has "kids in the hall"? It is truly time for a binge marathon.

[@cosmonty]

the CBC gem website has it all available for free in Canada! idk if it works in the US but it should with a VPN

[@cynthia.marina]

Prime Video has it

[@christopherwellman2364]

I have the complete series on box set

[@ericwilliams1659]

It is on prime now and they have new content. I really enjoy them, they are a Canadian national treasure

[@christopherwellman2364]

@@ericwilliams1659 I have found it impossible to watch every skit. I can hardly get through a few episodes, let alone an entire season! Impossible!

[@mjm5081]

From the docks to the mountain tops let ascertain ring.

[@IsraelBenitez-ev7mj]

This is the funniest thing ever

[@maryelizabeth6797]

Who else had to look up ascertain to check the right usage?

[@jonathanross149]

The were masters at ending a sketch

[@arthurjeremypearson]

What comedy should be: show, not tell.

[@mikejones-vd3fg]

Ive ascertained im not capable of using deliniate in any sentance. :/

[@Inlinetodie]

Looks like we all Ascertained 😮😊

[@Vengeant1]

❤

[@written12]

Thanks for sharing these KTH perennials. By the way, would you have the Cabbage Head skit in which Bruce plays this sleaze out on a date?

[@elizabethcablesings]

Comprendevous

[@markdanowsky9243]

"After election day, the ECA required each state to formally determine--or "ascertain"--the electors who would represent the state's voters by casting electoral votes on behalf of the candidate who had won the popular vote, and voted the executive of each state to certify to the federal government the identities of those electors." U.S. vs. Trump, Indictment #3

[@NiggletFarm]

Trump is on your mind 24/7 cretin 😂

[@clydemere7818]

I found this on membean in school

[@jamesmcswain8120]

I do that with "galvanic erosion"

[@jaysonscott187]

O I remember this one. Heheh

[@robertodibaggio8181]

I knew it was Not Sanches.. he dont care tbh!!! 😆

[@Kevin-tz2lv]

Reminds me of youtube commenters using Algorithm and conspiracy theories using the term false flag. They use it like they just learned it

[@destubae3271]

Most people have vocabulary consisting of buzzwords-- hell, even buzzword is a buzzword

[@Kevin-tz2lv]

@@destubae3271 very true

[@christopherwellman2364]

@@destubae3271 Buzzword is a false flag!

[@atomzero1]

Was it SANCHEZ?

[@DigitalPraise7]

Well I am off to look up the word delineate.

[@xINVISIGOTHx]

I have this 72 iq troll in my house that says "hullabaloo" several times a week for the last few years. Starting to drive me crazy, even though there's much worst stuff that he does. Like clearing his throat on average every 30 seconds, 17 hours a day

[@LTPottenger]

It's like they spied on me as a child

[@calvinthedestroyer]

You keep using that word but I'm sure you understand what it means.

[@4862cjc]

Comprendez vous?

[@loonatticat]

I feel like the word “ascertain” is abused gratuitously in Cop-Speak.

[@SirWilliamKidney]

Haha so true. Cop speak and military speak. It's a low-effort "big word" that sounds official.

[@loonatticat]

@@SirWilliamKidney Look up “Kids in the Hall Freedom of speech”. Classic.

[@SirWilliamKidney]

@@loonatticat That's the video we're commenting on 😂 I just saw it for the first time!

[@FlatlandMando]

Bingo. At work, if I use a word with more than one syllable, a co- worker says "boy that's deep" & a few times it bugged me. Then I came up with... "NO, the world is DEEP...it is just up to us to try & catch up"! Usually that was the end of it.

[@TheSam12678]

Everybody knew that Sanchez was dirty…they ascertained it. Literally. Comprende…Vous?????

[@woebegone_jabroni]

They're jealous of my command of the... English... uh, language

[@CandidZulu]

"Apparently kid" will have this talk in a few years.

[@kristincalvarese]

Lol

[@annalisavajda252]

Haha.

[@judgeparkeriv9589]

One person can't stop saying 'ascertain.'

[@Lucky2beme]

Ascertain😅

[@DarthFearghal]

This is the way... 👀

[@MSG685]

why put the punch line in the title?

[@MattJH]

The title includes the premise, not the punchline. It’s for all the people who’ve spent the last decade googling “guy who says ascertain too much” without finding anything.

[@MSG685]

@@MattJH fair enough

[@metamon2704]

It would probably be harder to fin it since I doubt anyone would remember the name of the sketch.

[@cvbncvbnvbncvbn4864]

I imagine this is how the writer/creator of the tv show Yellowstone is with the f word.

[@chubbington]

this skit is a form of eugenics

[@northwest8634]

"Going forward" makes me want to slap the person using this.

[@AvengerII]

As bad as Bruce's overuse of "ascertain" was, teenage girls and women in their 20s overuse the word "like" far more. I noticed that quite a bit in high school and college!

[@theBaron0530]

That's been going on for decades. When I was in junior high in 1978, our English teacher took concrete steps to break kids of the habit of using "like" as a vocal hiccup, along with "you know", "uh", and using question inflection when making a statement (today called "uptalking", but that's a dumb word.)

[@metamon2704]

You used the word 'quite' I bet you use that a lot.

[@blackjackmusic1107]

My word of the week is "Incurred". As in I have incurred an injury, or I've Incurred a car crash, or I've I've incurred a murder...Sorry about the murder part