DATING IN LONDON | MY BIGGEST MISTAKE

[@philab7393]

Weirdly enough, I totally relate. Im from South Africa and living in the States and met a guy,a 9.5/10. Gorgeous man, sings like a canary, dresses well, would play me guitar and treated me well. The type that opens doors always, cooks well, picks me up from clubs after a night out with girl friends etc. even took me to his home n introduced me to his grandma etc. also missed the red flags until we were on a road trip 4 hours away from home and he got aggressive and almost violent!! It was so scary but left right after that road trip!

[@ItsKells]

Crisis averted!

[@Glad2BGolden]

I had a very similar experience with a German. We even discussed marriage. Germany is beautiful and clean. Learned a great deal about myself and relationships. It was a painful ending but I don't regret it.

[@seelight6569]

Hey are you single in london?

[@Glad2BGolden]

@@seelight6569 No LOLz

[@AD-jt7bd]

I don't think "meeting the parents" is quite as serious as it is here in Europe as it is in America. I've had very casual relationships where the I met my boyfriends families usually within the same week. I would say dating is more laid back, friendly and less of a checklist.

[@adventurechick782]

Nice video but the background music is too loud for me to concentrate on the topic.just an observation.cheers.

[@vanessa_the_mindset_maven]

Hi Kelly! I was in the same situation in the states involving an Irishman from London. Now, a Sustuh was previously in a rotten marriage to a Black man that put my life through FIRE! Years after my divorce, BAM, here enters Irish, tall, sweet, well-dressed man. My curls tightened to his touch, I melted when he spoke, and I caught a feeling for the first time EVER.....and I made the biggest mistake of my life. In much of the same ways that you described. Yet the absolute best feeling that came afterwards, was the realisation that to myself, I have to be true. Since then, although I am still in the states, I know that the standard European man is suave, yet I will use my Southern girl wit to weed out the BS in ANY situation. And to me, it feels wonderful! I am moving to work as a nurse in London soon. Thank you for your insight! Peace n' Chicken Grease 💕👊💕

[@ItsKells]

Hi Vanessa-girl! Thanks for sharing.. So glad you had that dating experience and have learned so much from it! You live and you learn. London is near and dear to my heart. I hope you have an amazing time dating the amazing men abroad! You deserve to live the life of your dreams!

[@ItsKells]

Have you moved yet?? How are you liking it? Thanks for sharing!

[@clydelawrence8051]

There goes another hungry so-call black female and I use her description very loosing.

[@Glad2BGolden]

All that you mentioned is the surface outer package that they would like to project to the public. Women do it too, with education, hair, makeup, sophisticated demeanor, ext. Which is not bad, you are suppose to present yourself in the best way possible. None of that means a great match, it just means a great package. That is why you take your time and get to know the real person to find out if he/she is right for you. Sounds like you had a great experience.

[@ItsKells]

+TruthFan great point here

[@ImpressDivinity]

can you talk about like other black people in London that are from there like how there are black Americans... how are black Europeans from uk who are born and raised there

[@PRINCESSGEMINI1987]

I had the same experience, I don't think it's a European thing. My ex and I are both British Ghanaian.

[@ItsKells]

+Beauty Stick ok

[@kay-annclarke9501]

Not to be pessimistic but someome once told me that if a man is on point. That means his looks, his money , his job and his education is on point. But he is 35 years old or more and never been in a committed relationship or a long term relationship. there is a reason for it. Watch out. If he was so dope. Why was he still single?

[@ItsKells]

+Kay-ann Clarke lol everyone has to be single before they are taken, lol. 35 is younger especially for a go getter.

[@shantife]

why didn't you clearly state why you broke up?

[@deidrataylor61]

exactly i was waiting like....get to the point plz ugh 6:31minutes of my life wasted.

[@sherri1612]

Deidra Taylor ... Yes, I agree if your making a video about this particular subject why not just be honest about the break up and stop dancing around the issue!!!

[@ItsKells]

You all are ridiculous 😂 get a life

[@nicebklyngirl]

Hi! Thanks for the video. Can you be more specific in terms of detailing what letting your "guard down" looked like? Thanks

[@iDokoMedia]

The fact that you were scared he was moving too fast indicates that you yourself was not ready to settle down.

[@ceev.f3842]

I always felt it was a huge red flag when a man starts talking about kids, marraige and all introducing to the family/friends thing. He has his lines practiced to perfection. None of that was thought out by being with you. Better to have a man who now wants those things because of YOU and build those things based on your needs than a man who has he "shit planned out" and wants you to conform to his ideals. You dont fit the bill bye Felicia. To me, unless he down that asle saying i do it it means nothing to me.

[@Jeremiah17v9]

Awww. Come on. It's a beautiful morning here in London. You are making a judgement based on one bad experience - based upon me just seeing this one vid I admit. Don't give up. Not all of us Brits are full of themselves but are really down to earth with hearts in the right place. Toodle! ;-)

[@ItsKells]

Thanks for the kind words! Just one situation.. not going to judge all by one rotten apple :)

[@florancewhite613]

Thank you for representing your country man I need to move there🤗🤗🤗

[@jasontate9826]

Jeremiah17v9 she nva explained what happen

[@mindyourbusinessxoxo]

Ok, I'm probably going to sound like a huge fangirl, but THANKKK you so much for uploading these vids! I'm going to earn my master's in Germany and am hoping to establish a life overseas (I'm pretty much over America, lol) so i've been pretty curious about the dating scene. You're soooo gorgeous and your skin is to die for! Subscribed!

[@caressaclark1042]

Just Leave A Message I've been slowly losing my love for America since I started traveling 4 years ago. But after this most recent trip to Sweden, I am completely over America. I didn't want to get on the plane back home. Then when Trump won, that was the icing on the cake. No longer proud to be an American but don't have the funds YET to leave.

[@mindyourbusinessxoxo]

Caressa, would you mind if we connected off youtube via email? I REALLY have a bunch of questions to ask and would love to exchange ideas on how to do just that (get the funds to GTFO permanently) [e-mail]

[@mindyourbusinessxoxo]

Caressa Clark

[@klm1446]

Caressa Clark r

[@lalili1358]

The fact that he introduced you to his family, was a good sign. I'm glad you said european guys are suave aka as smooth talkers. They could be lying or not long term relationship minded.

[@CITIZENYOST]

Sounds like dude hit it and quit it, it happens.

[@ItsKells]

+CITIZENYOST lmao.

[@hiwot28]

Happened to me as well. I blamed myself and thought i was so stupid. Introduced me to his family and friends within weeks. That will never work on me now.

[@ItsKells]

+hiwot d totally not ur fault ❤️

[@kasya-h1p]

I love your video topics....your channel is great ....will you talk about school and your transition from American studies

[@ItsKells]

I have a few vids on the topic. Check my playlists :)

[@kasya-h1p]

ok.... will do ..thnx

[@elysiumfire4230]

No one is a professional at romance. It is not an academic subject, it is a biological instinct. Professional people are too academic in their mindset, and like yourself, Kells, they give values to biological variables and quantify it all like statisticians. It doesn't work. Of course, you apply observations, reciprocations, and equality, but above all else, one should nurture friendship and compatibility (race and genetics don't enter the equation, because there is no equation) and develop a relationship of dynamic comfort between yourselves. Biological instinct will take it where it needs to go on its own, so don't smother it with too much academic professionalism. All you need is love, so let it be.

[@ItsKells]

+Elysiumfire I agree romance is not an academic subject, I do agree it's a biological instinct, however I am also sure that the biological instinct is strongly, if not entirely, influenced by environmental factors such as, the tides of what is socially acceptable at that time, overarching influences of ones culture, and what the media has deemed acceptable and desirable at that time. It's also pretty funny how you presume to know that I am very professional and academic in my approach to romance based on this few minutes of video footage where it was necessary to explain and articulate a situation in a way that is understandable to others, thus coming off as very professional. Agreed, friendship and compatibility are of the upmost importance but they like biological instinct are not the only, and sometimes not even the driving factors, to finding a loving relationship.

[@martinshelton82]

For a man point of view there is no such thang as a 100 percents, you can do all the research in the world, and still come up short. Sometime in life you just have to take the chance.

[@ItsKells]

agreed

[@ItsKells]

Fact! It's up to chance often times!

[@philab7393]

Hey! My first time on your channel and loved this! I'm currently looking to study my masters in Europe too, can you tell me how you went about it? Did you just find a school you wanted or was there an agency that helped you out or? Any info will help! Loved this video!!

[@ItsKells]

I have an video on the channel called how I got my mba or something like that where I tell the whole story! Check it out! Welcome welcome

[@carrierueden756]

Great advice👍🏼

[@ItsKells]

+Carrie Rueden 😊

[@justbh2o484]

Love your videos!

[@ItsKells]

Thanks love ❤️

[@JasmineJeane]

Ive learned that lesson before. The moving fast is usually the first red flag. No one worth their salt who is serious about a huge commitment of any kind will move in that way without assessing and being patient for a little while.... especially if they clearly don't need to be in a hurry. This is the sign of a playboy. Mamas, friends.. whole family will be on board... they are playing everyone not just you. They condition ppl to follow their agenda and they all play a role in helping him secure whatever he is trying to secure.

[@ItsKells]

I’ve learned so so much since this experience including they always come back lol

[@JasmineJeane]

@@ItsKells They always comeback! Always!

[@vevomaxx5779]

Your a very smart woman. What broke up the relationship?

[@TheWaterman2011]

So if I boil it down to its common truth- You simply increased your opportunity threshold to meet men in an area where you feel wanted- Basic human behavior. You became the exotic strawberry in a bowl of vanilla. Having traveled the world whatever the initial attraction, someone will eventually peel back your layers to get to know the real you. For me Black woman have always been amazing,but its all about chemistry after the initial vibe.

[@david316sayer]

I understand most of your videos I've seen are about dating. Any videos on getting a job in London? Getting a work visa?

[@ItsKells]

+David Sayer I do have a video of me jobhunting in London and also me talking about ways to move there that mentions working visas but unfortunately I don't have any videos on how to secure either.

[@Namip14]

Thank you for the advice! I really want to marry a guy in europe one day, but their culture is way different than ours.

[@jimfoley8014]

Look for a guy who will get you closer to Jesus and help you go to heaven.

[@Imhotep397]

jim foley that could be hard in Europe man. A lot people are anti-religious in Europe.

[@nicholas-rochester.77]

Cool video 🌷

[@caressaclark1042]

My Ukrainian ex was a 10/10 physically, with that confident swagger and charisma that European men have... I want another one😢😢😢

[@ItsKells]

+Caressa Clark yeah but they can be jackass too! With all that swagger

[@ItsKells]

+Judgement Day loll

[@ItsKells]

+Bea Landrin eastern Europeans have SWAG

[@sanyuable]

white guys from the poor countries like eastern Europe are not taking you anyway as a black woman. Truth be told sister.

[@7thqueenofmars299]

what? I dont get it....you got comfortable with him introducing you to everyone he knows?

[@xyz2121]

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. My advice is find a more down-to-earth guy that isn't so 'polished'. Polish tarnishes after a while.

[@GreenOrchid9]

He introduced you to his family to shut them up and say you are American and went back!

[@DinizEngland]

But you have a role to play too. When a guy is serious you should be serious too. If a guy is ready to marry you don't slow him down by some superficial 'letting guard down' attitude.

[@tobiasgoldman]

Very cute girl and I like her videos but two things: 1, "I am not looking but I am keeping my Eyes open", seems disingenius when all her videos are about dating. She is HUNTING a man. 2, "African descendants in Britain"? They are Brits, aren't they? Or are black Americans "African descendants in America"?

[@DeCurtaRican]

In other words, you just went too fast because you thought you had hit the jackpot. You folded up your proverbial checkpoints and didn’t screen the man properly because his outside appearance had you so intoxicated. It happens to everyone at some point…men and women. People with outward good looks, style, sophistication, etc., can appear to have it together, when in reality they may be more messed up than you ever imagined. Good video.

[@ItsKells]

Good point maybe I was young and naive but this video is always a good reminder to screen properly and patiently

[@hiwot28]

Mine was in the states .

[@chrisekonomides6046]

I am Canadian

[@enosger]

Kelis, with out making this a black/white issue, what race was he? It seems when I watch videos with black women from USA dating in London/ Europe they seem to surround themselves with white men, when the relationship goes sour I don’t hear black women saying I’m not dating white guys any more I’m on Asians now they treat us better, I my self am black I date exclusively black women because that’s who I like and if I get done bad by a black woman guess what I move to another black woman not to a whole nother race, I digress, in your videos your London experience seems very minimal, have you checked out other cultures there like the West Indian culture in Harlesden or the Indian culture in Upton Park, it’s very one sided, just some positive criticism

[@stellasydney1577]

Yes British guys like to be chased they got used to their women so it's hard for them to cope with women from other cultures like women like to be chased not the opposite! Not all what glitters is gold!

[@SayconTalks]

I've always found sharply dressed guys suspect! I judge pretty boys and good looking guys so much LOL

[@ItsKells]

Likewise! Lessons learned over the years lol

[@AirborneEclipse]

Omg Kells, you’re just a baby here 💕

[@ItsKells]

I know righttt 💕

[@grownupgoth]

Im dying to know what was wrong with him, since you sound like you were really into him.

[@ItsKells]

+A he just wasn't ready and in all honesty, neither was I

[@vanessa_the_mindset_maven]

I am sorry! My spell-check is out of control, Kells....

[@swordoftruth8890]

Im English - Live in London - it didnt work because here in London the top 5% of women brutally chase that type of man, I bet he met someone better and lost interest..

[@ItsKells]

+SwordOF Truth yeah, I don’t chase men so you’re likely right.. except for the fact that he came crawling back a year later and I paid him dust.

[@swordoftruth8890]

It's Kells well as you said *You don't chase men* here in London it's the top 5% of UK earners scrap by to have a decent home an life - The top 3% richest - are the most wanted men in Europe if not the world.. If you can't be bothered to *chase* You won't get anywhere.. You said he *came crawling back* ? I highly doubt that.. women here are ten a penny

[@ItsKells]

+SwordOF Truth lol, yes, you’re class of woman.

[@swordoftruth8890]

It's Kells - yeah great looking women with a high earning career...

[@taetheegoal-digger7661]

I have experienced this

[@dexdrameh4136]

Your are smart girl.

[@ammabthedigitallynomadic3385]

that's like every guy in brooklyn

[@ItsKells]

+Amma b ha

[@QChantellsQ]

Oh my gosh YEAH this has happened to me! I met this Hungarian Man of course European, and he was a 9 out of 10! style/ accent/financially stable All! that. Talked for a while and he just, stopped talking to me, I don't know why? we both liked each other too...weird

[@ItsKells]

Chantell Jackson I hate when that happens. So weird! But it's better to find out they're a weirdo sooner than later, I say! Waste less time that way.

[@ItsKells]

English guy of Nigerian descent.

[@QChantellsQ]

***** He was a Sexy Hungarian Man Foreign of course

[@yvettej.9896]

He didn't really like you in the first place and if you had sex, he was finished with his conquest. Men can be more fickle than women.

[@charismaluv9920]

Girls don't have sex,with them.Pray for the right man .The Holy Spirit will guideline you. My girlfriend daughter she was healed the Jesus told her don't date NO one I have the right man for you years later the Holy Spirit I'm preparing you. For your husband to be.Holy Spirit showed my girlfriend daughter what her future husband looked like two family members was with her. They dated for two years just got married November 2018.His mother was there when they met. His ex-girlfriend was there and said she going to be your wife. His ex-girlfriend is married and three children. They sciped and wrote letters to each other.

[@ValarieCole]

_______________________________

[@ItsKells]

+Valarie Cole -----------______---------

[@dansimpkins7933]

Sometimes it’s not meant to be...we might cross paths next time hey 🤷‍♂️😂seriously tho if you do return let me know hahaga 😍

[@pyroed7044]

Your absolutely beautiful

[@215blasian]

was he white?

[@Andy2481]

I live in London ..... I'd love to date you lol

[@NHEFF09]

you need to date real men not fakes

[@ItsKells]

+NHEFF09 i agree

[@weareallbeingwatched4602]

I have heard more passionate car reviews darlin'

[@ItsKells]

+Weareallbeingwatched yet you found the energy to comment 🤔 to seek my attention

[@jessicaapril4785]

Lol your a self proclaimed conisseur after meeting one guy! Really?!

[@ItsKells]

You’re*

[@ΑσέληνοςΜισητός]

Sista red lipstick...not for you.

[@sherriekelly8534]

Ασέληνος Μισητός have you looked in a mirror lately??

[@ItsKells]

Clearly he hasn’t… so I take no offense 😂

[@TheRealBlackula]

What's the music track in the background?

[@TheRealBlackula]

He was EXTREMELY THIRSTY!!!

[@xyz2121]

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. My advice is find a more down-to-earth guy that isn't so 'polished'. Polish tarnishes after a while.