Kurtis Conner - True Story (Pinocchio Disstrack) (with English CC) *I AM NOT KURTIS*

I AM NOT KURTIS NOR DO I CLAIM TO BE HIM
exactly what the title says tbh
og video: • The New Pinocchio Movi...
all credit goes to our mayor kurtis, everyone say thank you to him for creating this masterpiece 🙌

[@puppymcpupsters]

"ske dee ske dee ske dee Deez nuts" is the most fire line in all of Rap History

[@TheMadsC]

"...motherfucker/ There's only room for one, you must die John Tucker/" And what a follow up line! This song is unironically amazing. I've been writing and rapping for 10+ years, and this is stellar work, especially if actually is one of his first tries at rapping. I wonder if he got any help? There's so many strong flows in here. I get he'd be good a writing punchlines, since that's almost the same technique as comedy writing. But still! Even the rhymes are really good. I'm just overly impressed. Really hope he does more rap songs!

[@alteregobruh]

It’s also the funniest, with or without context (I don’t listen to rap so I actually cannot confirm this LMAO)

[@puppymcpupsters]

@@alteregobruh I don't listen to rap music either bruh 😭

[@Big_Guy_Danny_J]

nah its actually "YOU THINK IM DONE BITCH IM GOING ROUND 2, BOUT TO, POUND YOU, UNDER THE GROUND, DUDE, SOUND COOL, NOT TO YOU BUT EVERYONE AROUND YOU, CALL ME WATER LOG, CUZ I JUST FUCKED AROUND AND DROWNED YOU"

[@xiao3522]

That specific part was stuck in my head for a week after i watched the KZbin video💀

[@ZaijahZea]

NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I HEARD KURTIS RAP IT'S UNIRONICALLY REALLY FUCKING GOOOOD!!!!

[@yeshomo3059]

I KNOW! BLOOD RELATED WAS AMAZING BUT THIS ONE OMG

[@hoxiipoxii56]

More like very really good (ayyy)

[@yeshomo3059]

@@hoxiipoxii56 that was very really good. but what do I no-

[@unknownpasta8103]

like Indoor Boyfriend was actually good

[@Remi-bh1lb]

"I'm a trojan horse your just some drift wood" greatest diss in history

[@yeshomo3059]

I started screaming at that line 💀

[@darrenflips7346]

You’re

[@Remi-bh1lb]

@@darrenflips7346 wow had to reply just for that 😒

[@victoriam2772]

ok this isn't even ironic this song just straight up slaps lol

[@yeshomo3059]

I know right, he had no right to go that hard

[@skylarwhiteyo5154]

@@yeshomo3059 facts 😩

[@AcnhPickles]

it's ridiculously good

[@snailpocky]

i unironically have had this stuck in my head for hours

[@yeshomo3059]

same here omg

[@kaitlynlittle8150]

What part?

[@sophiemae4119]

me too LOLLL

[@skylarwhiteyo5154]

Same

[@owenrabey3759]

I’ve had it stuck in my head since the video came out

[@bruhman5829]

this is so fucking good dude i lost it at "get bella on my face ima start fibbin"

[@yeshomo3059]

ME TOO

[@sleepysmartboy6287]

The "Thank you Daddy" playing in the back too I just 💀💀

[@ihavenoidea2805]

what does it mean

[@sleepysmartboy6287]

@@ihavenoidea2805 I'll tell you when you're older

[@ihavenoidea2805]

@@sleepysmartboy6287 OH😭 i get it omg

[@-ellie-5966]

I would say this is a banger of a song but yk what do i nose?

[@yeshomo3059]

what do I n-

[@bigooble]

What do I-

[@ImaPizzaK]

@Paul McCartney what-

[@benny-hc3of]

@@ImaPizzaK w-

[@kittycathxp397]

@@benny-hc3of ✨-

[@jmasters7515]

The “let me ask you equestrian” bar went hard

[@aliien2057]

"You an acrobat? Good, 'cuz you're about to get jumped" I FUCKING- 💀💀💀💀🗿 THAT LINE HAS BEEN IN MY HEAD FOR D A Y S 🗿

[@yeshomo3059]

underrated line tbh

[@Luna-qwi]

@@yeshomo3059 tbh every single line in this song is peak of rap and comedy at the same time

[@lofiaj]

"There's a line for my ride in Tokyo, you live in the backwoods you know we smokin those."

[@yeshomo3059]

lyrical genius honestly

[@sarahblair465]

The line that made me go wait- oh shit

[@ebbie2595]

@@sarahblair465 I dont get it??

[@sarahblair465]

@@ebbie2595 like oh wait this actually slaps

[@macyh3]

SKADEE SKADEE SKADEEZ NUTS IM SOBBING

[@dogdog7883]

FINALLY SOMEONE TYPED IT RIGHT

[@TrulyGreggington]

@@dogdog7883 YEA

[@ghostlinng5225]

how did he write the most fire rap song of the decade about a wooden puppet

[@annasophier1]

i will forever think about the sperm whale line

[@yeshomo3059]

randomly pops into my head all the time

[@nittayoshifumi8252]

note: his nose didnt extend while rapping. hes no capping here

[@itsme-uh5qt]

Y is like the filming so professional looking 💀💀

[@yeshomo3059]

my thoughts exactly, he went full out on this one and I'm so glad he did

[@itsme-uh5qt]

@@yeshomo3059 ikrrr I mean it slaps

[@fishixee]

the finishing line is so cold “why you thought you had a shot? Im stumped” literally so good

[@lootic9042]

i love the "im going round 2, im bound to pund you under the ground, sound cool not u but to everyone around u" SO MUCH

[@yeshomo3059]

ITS SO ADDICTIVE

[@saraimurphy738]

Should’ve performed this on his first night on tour would’ve really loved to see this shit live😭😭

[@adventurelandexpert7148]

LMAOO that’s a great idea

[@angels-with-talons]

this slaps so hard - the beat, the lyrics, the lederhosen, the *nose* . . thank you so much for uploading!!

[@yeshomo3059]

so true and no worries, just providing a service for the people of kurtistown

[@angels-with-talons]

@@yeshomo3059 sorry for the late reply man! you're a real one - honoured to have you in town! 😎

[@grat.2242]

what do i nose

[@lol-zr4iy]

Why do I feel like this is something noel would write

[@sushie8523]

very much tmg energy

[@yeshomo3059]

I agree

[@kelsynicole9135]

A TMG Kurtis collab or Kurtis Noel collab is what I need in my life

[@cleopatraonlyfans]

I hate to say it but these rhymes are better than tmg tho..

[@ScoopMeisterGeneral]

He even does Cody's fuckboi laugh at the beginning.

[@fivefootfiveandahalfsetter2848]

"i want all the drama, just call me a thespian" HELLO?? KURT BOY IS A LYRICAL GENIUS /srs

[@spiltmilk0204]

kurtis wearing lederhosen is absolutely beautiful

[@yeshomo3059]

it makes me laugh that he probably went out and bought this costume just for this

[@spiltmilk0204]

@@yeshomo3059 he most likely did just that

[@sarapowers8827]

This is unironically such a good song. You and Danny really turn it out on the songs

[@yeshomo3059]

unfortunately I am not kurtis, just a citizen of kurtistown reposting his masterpiece

[@sarapowers8827]

@@yeshomo3059 I didn't even realize. Hahhahaa. It come on in a KZbin mix. Ngl. Thought your name was a jab at me and I was like how did they know hahahaha

[@TrulyGreggington]

@@yeshomo3059 that was good of you to let them know. Lots of fan channels will ignore it and let the commenter believe whatever or literally pretend they’re the original uploader. Good on you to be pure and honest about it :)

[@bronwynkay5459]

Not me adding this to my gym playlist

[@yeshomo3059]

as you should

[@viconyoutube]

the john tucker line goes so hard lol

[@ki_raaa]

I feel like his voice is fit for rap especially like this and the fact this is unironically good is so funny yet amazing

[@gabriela_offic]

Category is: commentary youtubers making absolute slappers

[@goldendragongaming464]

anyone else think it should have started with "you think you're the real Pinocchio well that's a Pinocchi no

[@yeshomo3059]

YOU'RE A GENIUS

[@harlo.mp4441]

The 🌌thANk yOu DaDDy~🌠 got me good

[@Eclipseee_]

“Skadee skadee skadee deez nuts” is a fucking power move

[@bemei9291]

unironically hard as fuck

[@YellowAlex16]

Whenever he makes a parody song it's both funny and so catchy Edit: wow thanks for all the likes🙏

[@yeshomo3059]

ikr, it's actually crazy how unironically good they are

[@Error707Unknown]

*Ahem*. Indoor boyfriend lol

[@mr.potatoun2534]

The only Canadian to ever be mean

[@mcslave3]

"Got Bella on my face I'ma start fibbin" Dead And the "THANK YOU DADDY" adlib 🤣

[@redacted5078]

I'm still not over how unironically good this song fucking is

[@catleal8970]

no bc why was this like.. attractive 😭 like please tell me it isn’t just me-

[@bekenekjwowjah]

This entire song has altered my brain chemistry forever in the best way possible

[@gaylordtinklefairy7479]

I wanted to send this to my friends but I didn't want to send the whole video So I looked for like 20 minutes for this. Thank you!

[@yeshomo3059]

no worries, I hope they enjoyed it as much as I did lmao

[@TrulyGreggington]

If I want to send a segment of a video to someone I just take a screen recording

[@sofiafernandez2823]

I’m glad I wasn’t the only one who thought this was actually really good 😭

[@Luna-qwi]

"let me ask you equestrian".. poetic

[@HandsOfCinderblock]

Watched his video high last week and was rattled by this.

[@yeshomo3059]

sounds like a great experience icl

[@ramskin7756]

this sounds like it was written by Noel and Cody im obsessed

[@peter-peterpumpkineater4982]

[Lyrics] (Ah ha ha ha oh you think you're the real Pinocchio? That's a fucking lie dude. Here's a true story) (eh) Look, I'm tired of these bitches thinking they're the ones. My body's made of paper, You know I got the funds. You got nothing boy I'll smoke you like a chimney, For you it's crickets and I ain't talking Jimmeny. (eh) Im pushing fears in Pinocchio, (uh) There's a line for my ride up in Tokyo You living in the backwoods but you know we be smoking those, If you had a parachute, Bitch I would be poking holes. Knock on wood, Bitch you know the sound. (what) I'm a baby wooden boy but I'm not kidding. (ah ha) I got no strings to hold me down, Get Bella on my face ima start fibbing. (thank you daddy) (You know when I was stuck in the belly of that sperm whale I was like, hold up hold up, this isn't a sperm whale: it your mom) Ska dee ska dee ska dee deez nutz motherfucker. Theres only room for one, You must die John Tucker. I say you need to calm down just like Taylor Swift would, I'm a trojan horse, bitch, you just some driftwood. (yeah) You think Im done, bitch I'm going round two. I'm bound to, Pound you, Under the ground dude. Sounds cool, Not to you, But everyone around you, Call you, Waterlog cause I just fucked around and drowned you. (eh) Hey let me ask you a equestrian, Holding all these Ls, Bro your probably sore. I want all the drama just call me a thespian, But why the fuck you got the voice of Paulie Shore? I'm gonna spray you like that cat, You ain't never coming back. Getting splinters while you're sucking on my wooden ball sack. Youre acrobat good because you about to get jumped. Why thought you had a shot, I'm stumped.

[@yeshomo3059]

doing the Lord's work, thank you 🙏

[@pillowvibes]

I really hate to be that person because I know how annoying it is but I think he says “pushing p as in Pinocchio” not fear

[@help6691]

also don’t want to be that person but in the beginning he says “i’m sick and tired” not just “i’m tired”

[@Phika_]

I also hate to be that person, but it's Jiminy, not Jimmeny.

[@nickynomads7410]

I just wanna say I hate those people.... But accurate corrections, thanks 😂

[@s.petrikov]

fun fact this was the first krut video i ever watched and when he started rapping I was like WHAT THE FUCKKK

[@yeshomo3059]

KZbin killed the quality again 😭 comment your favourite lyric though because I still haven't gotten over "it's your mom"

[@Shy1998]

I'm torn between "lemme ask you equestrian" and get "Bella on my face I'ma start fibbin'."

[@bruhman5829]

either the bella one, "i want all the drama just call me a thespian," or "gettin splinters while yer suckin on my wooden ballsack." really just the entire last part is straight bars

[@neothepenguin1257]

Skidie these nuts is pretty good

[@yeshomo3059]

@@Shy1998 honestly me too, they're both genius lines

[@averytrexel]

i love “i need all the drama, just call me a thespian”

[@GamerGuy1417]

As a big fan of the Pinocchio themed genre, all I can say is: Gripping from minute one. Not bad from an artist, who raps for the first time

[@chextheroyalbastard3495]

The fact this was actually good is my favorite part

[@pinkmannonite6162]

Why does this beat slap so hard?

[@skylarwhiteyo5154]

This has been stuck in my head for so long 💀

[@yeshomo3059]

I've now added closed captions for anyone who wants the lyrics! (please use them, it took forever lmao)

[@sagesaturn7973]

much appreciated

[@falsegod8793]

thank you!

[@TrulyGreggington]

I did, thank you!!

[@katkay9923]

The sperm whale line was FIRE

[@ethanterry7290]

Okay, but why does this bang so hard? Truly next level.

[@chloooooooeeee]

honestly "you need to calm down just like taylor swift would" are the best lyrics ive ever heard ngl

[@themostcertified4377]

Bro y’all are sleeping on “Why, you thought you had a shot? I’m stumped.” LIKE BRO THAT GOES SO HARD

[@luvcirii]

1:13 is the best part imo 😭

[@jomama6785]

this song is my number one of all time on spotify. i’d just like to say that i have had my spotify account for 5 years and listen to music constantly. i’ve listened to this song a lot. unironically.

[@sugamethisjinmethat992]

KURTIS WENT SO HARD ON THIS MY GOD THOSE LYRICS

[@Sammmstarrr]

Memorizing it rn

[@Nathan-Croft]

This guy looks eerily similar to the mayor of my town

[@yeshomo3059]

I thought the same thing 🤯

[@Nathan-Croft]

@@yeshomo3059 You also live in Kurtistown?

[@yeshomo3059]

@@Nathan-Croft proud resident 💪

[@melissalonla]

Has been Kurtis been taking lyrical lessons with Danny or what these bars be hitting

[@yeshomo3059]

bars haven't been this good since Danny dropped the bar ice cream rap

[@melissalonla]

@@yeshomo3059 the bar ice cream rap was a cultural reset

[@TrulyGreggington]

He must be lol

[@sugamethisjinmethat992]

"There's a line for my ride out in Tokyo" Got me screaming like a dad watching a sports game who's team just won.

[@ambarcastaneda4763]

One of my favorite lines! I feel like it's so underrated, it goes so hard 😭

[@chloebeck20]

“get bella on my face imma start fibbin” funniest shit

[@yeshomo3059]

such a good line honestly

[@nagitokomaeda1378]

best song ever, not even lying

[@nagitokomaeda1378]

im sending this to my mom

[@yeshomo3059]

@@nagitokomaeda1378 hope she enjoys lmao

[@TrulyGreggington]

@@nagitokomaeda1378 your mom is so chill lol

[@cowboyraccoon420]

i have an obsession wit this song fr he needs to put it on spotify

[@yeshomo3059]

luckily he already has!!

[@marceline7976]

PETITION TO MAKE KURTIS CONNER A RAPPER

[@yeshomo3059]

I'LL SIGN

[@chiliwithonel]

Disappointed you didn't include his postscript of "Or maybe he wouldn't, what do I nose"

[@yeshomo3059]

omg you're so right 😔

[@hexes5122]

Kurtis makes a good country boy, but he was born to be a rapper.

[@urmomssidechicklol]

Our mayor is a god

[@yeshomo3059]

I read this to the tune of Our Love is God from Heathers 💀

[@deflowerdefile]

reminds me of princess rap battles

[@yeshomo3059]

I LOVE THOSE ONES OMG

[@flippinbirds6193]

This goes dumb hard

[@kiukiura]

actual lyrical genius

[@bisquirrel1393]

i had nothing to do so i memorized the rap. my only regret is waiting till now

[@gayghostprince]

why does this go so hard 🧍

[@beentherelovedit9150]

omg im hyperventilating he's amazing!

[@wreneellerie]

I’m frequently watching this video to this day and “Let me ask you e-questrian” still kills me

[@yeshomo3059]

same

[@MamaRagoni]

I had this song play in my fng head all day

[@pantothemax6736]

This is my Roman Empire, I literally rap this song every day. 💀

[@rabio02]

NO BC WHY DOES THIS UNIRONICALLY GO SO HARD

[@hamsterstyle6152]

0:27 "for you it's crickets, and I ain't talkin' Jiminy." The expression Kurtis is making when he says "for you it's crickets" is the funniest thing I've ever seen oh my god I love this man lmao

[@rookiedrifter4273]

Every time it cuts to the shadow of Kurtis with the nose makes me think of fuckin' anime Doofenshmirtz...

[@twistytrombone2453]

"You need to calm down like Taylor Swift would" As a Swiftie I approve of this message👍

[@lemon8159]

personally, this is a bop. but what do I no-

[@deejayrestua7601]

Let me ask you equastrian. Bars

[@yeshomo3059]

bars haven't been this good since the bar ice cream came and dropped bars

[@TrulyGreggington]

@@yeshomo3059 oh there come the bar ice cream

[@JessejustJesseIsInYourHouse]

Damn this song just hits 🔥🔥🥵🥵

[@Lolielila]

This rap works so good with 1.5x speed!

[@yeshomo3059]

he sounds like he's trembling 💀

[@megolovaniadududu]

@@yeshomo3059 he does lmao 💀💀💀

[@Obstile]

unironically this is #1 on my spotify on repeat playlist

[@shmooples]

I've come back after Kurtis' recent video with the Tarzan diss track and I forgot how much this genuinely slaps???

[@kiwifruitbird7]

Wait his nose was long the entire time does that mean he was lying this whole track?

[@spaghettilawn-mower9620]

The Taylor Swift line was GOOOODDD

[@YimstaNation]

"lemme ask you equestrian?" i've been saying this randomly in my head for months now and i can't stop T__T

[@notsaying8300]

y’all r fast

[@yeshomo3059]

🏃‍♀️💨

[@ShizakuIzaiyoi]

🔥STRAIGHT FIRE🔥

[@evizplqnets]

who agrees that kurtis should make a song about being mayor of the best town, kurtis town? 👇

[@beka7475]

The fact that this goes as hard as it does is fcking wild 😭

[@phishphan49]

this is obnoxiously good. thankfully rap has a much richer and longer history than pop country, which, blood related .... like if weird al was GIGA NIRVANA or some shit - the satire is the best song in the history of the genre.

[@l0v3bug06]

The fact that I’ve listened to this so many times that I don’t even need the subtitles to sing along 😭

[@yeshomo3059]

same tbh 😭

[@l0v3bug06]

@@yeshomo3059 i added this video to my playlist btw-it’s called “my favorite white boys” 😭💀

[@rachelthornton4442]

Guillermo Del Toro's Pinocchio definitely wrote this after he got the Golden Globe.

[@zenox3960]

Eminem has been real quiet since this dropped 🥶

[@eibhlinnlawlor2161]

“Skadee skadee skadeez nuts” 💀💀

[@ghostbooger4534]

Putting those corny puns to good use