The New Pinocchio Movie is a Nightmare

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The new Pinocchio movie is really bad let's laugh at it
song produced, mixed, and mastered by Jeremy Parkin ( / jerparkin )
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thanks for watching!
comment "what do i nose" if ur reading this
#kurtisconner

[@kurtisconner]

btw the diss track is on Spotify now 😏 ps about the physics thing I was talking about how they’re travelling IN A CIRCLE and that’s why I was bringing it up!! I’m not stupid trust me!!

[@Nitrolord]

A good mayor AND a good physics guy? What a legend

[@Nabooze]

@@Nitrolord I believe that’s just called… being kurtis conner

[@ryung5256]

Lmao

[@erikas7656]

That diss track went HARD

[@MichaelMichael-us6wq]

You

[@allytrevino6]

IM SORRY THE “thank you daddy! ska-dee ska-dee ska-dee ska-dee!” FUCKING SENT ME

[@demonmaster666]

FR 😂

[@jaidyn4823]

LOTERALLY LAUGHING SO HARD

[@douglasc0unty]

@@jaidyn4823 loterally

[@-Sharki-]

@@douglasc0unty lootrally

[@friendlesssockroach]

"ska-dee ska-dee ska-dee ska-dee RDAHHAH!!"

[@spiderdude2099]

Fun fact: Paulie shore initially thought that the casting call was a prank call and didn’t think they were serious. But….nope. The directors asked for him by name and had him in mind for the English dub from the beginning. He even responded several times asking if they were 100% sure they wanted him for the role

[@sairasmart5836]

Lmao

[@uhhhhh2672]

He said, and I quote: "Are you (Paulie) Shore about this?"

[@spiderdude2099]

@@uhhhhh2672 ah of course, his classic catch phrase

[@Amulet.]

So they said he should sound more gayer???🤨

[@Isabella-dx3nf]

Source?

[@menace2theculdesac]

The nose did not grow once during the diss track, he literally wasn’t lying

[@sejianimates1735]

He was spitting fire the entire time and didn’t catch *on* fire, hes a real boy and real boys dont lie

[@PastaBuckman64]

Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵Father when can I leave to be on my own🥵

[@catsinwonderland7473]

I've never seen someone more mortified to be alive. HE GETS UP YELLING, "ALIIIIVEEEEEEEeEEEeeeEEeeee" and then stumbles around, struggling to walk. That's kinda realistic, actually.

[@blump5080]

Maybe that's what newborn babies do too

[@catsinwonderland7473]

@@blump5080 and we just don't understand it because they haven't learned language yet...

[@rolinti9146]

me after a rough night out

[@catsinwonderland7473]

@@rolinti9146 💀

[@alexandersotomurillo5795]

​@@blump5080we don't mention babies in this channel

[@ninaairheart7371]

I didn't know "Kurtis Connor dressed like Pinocchio spitting fire" was gonna be something I experienced today, but holy shit am I glad.

[@pinklemonade3261]

im SO glad i didnt look in the comments beforehand bevause this was the best random song i have ever heard

[@PeytonPearson]

I've seen so many commentary youtuber raps and... Those may have been some of the hardest bars from a non-rapper i've ever heard lmaoooo

[@AlexanderLanzo]

how do i add this fire dis to my playlist

[@Zofro2165]

Honestly … that was an extraordinary experience

[@coffeejelly3373]

I saw this before i reached the disstrack and i low-key thought Kurtis edited himself spitting actual fire while in a Pinocchio costume which i would've expected more

[@carolinegaddy5650]

“ska-dee ska-dee ska-deez nuts” genuinely made me laugh out loud

[@Mag3.1415]

1.1k likes but no comments? How?

[@m-vi-yoh]

lol

[@whatsyourpoint5417]

Don't forget the raw anger of the "mother fucker" afterword

[@bisexualblueberry]

timestamp?

[@squidkid9]

@@bisexualblueberry26:45

[@CeliaStHugo]

Coincidentally, I too screamed “am a boy and I’m alive” after waking up on a sidewalk after a night out

[@CeliaStHugo]

I still don’t know why those were first words to escape my mouth because I felt anything but alive

[@holeyvoleyvance]

me when i found out i was trans

[@willow_is_dumb]

@@holeyvoleyvance omg same

[@Olivia-zj9io]

Same (im a girl)

[@olivias9637]

NOTHING could have prepared me for pinnochio’s voice 💀

[@eloryosnak4100]

Please please Google "I animated fruity Pinocchio but how he really sounds". Its worth it I promise

[@katyfae6806]

I frankly can’t believe you didn’t say anything about the part where they decide the horse is going to be his new temporary father while they’re at the circus and Pinocchio calls him “dad” multiple times.

[@em7328]

I’m sorry- WHAT

[@mikulover493]

WHAT THE FUCK HAHAHAHHSDHYHG

[@camilleguillemette4926]

HAHAHHAHAH WHAT

[@calebgonzalez3422]

HMMM???

[@lorddezi]

Seriously, it was one of the weirdest parts of the movie

[@Blueeyelashes]

- old man makes a puppet because he is so lonely - it immediately comes to life, steals his horse, leaves him more alone

[@Shadyam]

Worst thank-you gift ever

[@artisticmunga9610]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/eIOzhaF3qp2sj9E

[@honeydrew]

slay.

[@MxZanReacts]

The REAL story!

[@ridean3931]

That’s really sad

[@Tatertottt]

What's insane is the idea of "Pinocchio wakes up and immediately causes chaos" is EXACTLY what happened in the original story. If I remember right, the town of people got so mad they literally hung him (except he's made of wood so it doesn't work??). He also like bullied Geppetto and ran away, not to the circus, but to the town to he a complete asshole to everyone ever

[@zubetp]

oh huh he IS a real boy

[@winniethepooht5776]

The guy that made the Pinocchio comics hated children so much that he tortured Pinocchio in as many ways as he could. Also, I believe the final comic is him being hung and staying dead.

[@Tatertottt]

@@winniethepooht5776 I think what I heard was he DID die, but people didn't like that ending/wanted more, so he had to come back to life. I could be misremembering though

[@amarins2747]

@@Tatertottt No you're right! I read the book somewhat recently, he gets hung by the fox and the cat (who are thieves) and that's where the story ended at first. But people wanted more so the writer continued the story. Also the writer did not hate children, it is a cautionary tale about the consequences of being a disobedient child. Pinocchio keeps saying he'll be a good boy, but then he misbehaves and that's what keeps getting him into trouble

[@ebeneezerscrooge2942]

Also, that island.

[@xXSHADOWxCREEPERXx]

"Call you waterlogged because I just fucked around and drowned you" is unironically one of the hardest bars I have ever heard

[@DavidTheBaker]

The rap is incredible... But what do I nose-

[@Dheast]

Nice

[@AJ-hr3df]

David the baker

[@matthewapples5413]

Holy crap, the narrator from EzPz watches Kurtis Conner…?

[@Hi-bf4ft]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aom2aWd8nquIi9k Finally it's here.

[@cutielovemb]

😂😂😂

[@cecilyvals]

pinocchio coming to life and immediately screaming "ALIIIIIIIIVE" in the voice of a middle aged man like he's doctor fucking frankenstein absolutely sent me

[@YuriPlisetskyKinnie]

I need to watch this movie now cause I can’t stop laughing

[@fevre_dream8542]

Dude, he's yelling and stumbling around like a sloppy drunk divorced man. It's hilarious

[@Marie-qy1vd]

I started giggling

[@theboondoggliest]

im sitting in class watching this and i was trying not to snort

[@hsg57]

I lost my composure at work

[@bananabanana484]

6:38 Kurtis is 100% correct about this. That’s how circular motion works. Your instantaneous velocity is tangential to the circular path.

[@teabubbler]

was looking for this! gotta love physics but not as much as breaking the laws and theories

[@zubetp]

(casey carlisle voice) physics

[@chanelbt854]

i remember watching a video though where a group of guys tested this out by attaching a trampoline to a truck and having a guy jump on the trampoline while the truck was driving around and he didn’t misalign with the trampoline he kept landing straight back down into it

[@oranges7706]

@@chanelbt854 I assume the truck was moving in a straight line? If not, there was some trick going on because it's not physically possible to jump and land back in the same place on a truck that's moving in a circle. One of the most important laws in physics is that an object will continue to move at the same speed _and in the same direction_ unless and until it is acted on by a force. If no force acts on it, it keeps going forever. That's a physical fact (and Newton's first law). The result of this is that physicists define acceleration as a change in speed _or_ direction or both. So when the horse runs in a circle, it is technically accelerating because its direction of motion is always changing, even if it runs at the same speed the whole time. At the moment Pinocchio jumps off the horse, he is moving with the same speed and in the same direction as the horse was at the moment he jumped. Ignoring air resistance because it's so small, there is now no force acting on him in a horizontal direction (he's still affected by gravity, of course, but gravity only acts vertically so we don't need to think about it). According to Newton's first law, this lack of horizontal force means he'll continue to move at the same speed and in the same horizontal direction as he did when he jumped. Meanwhile, the horse is still moving and turning in a circle, so their paths separate and Pinocchio can't land back on the horse. I hope that makes sense.

[@shirandawilliams]

He doesn't sound like a kid at all and immediately acts like a drunk person as soon as he comes alive 😂😂

[@zubetp]

what he sounds like is a paulie shore character. that dude plays all his characters like that lmfao definitely one of the most incomprehensible casting choices i've seen in my life

[@Pondfish]

Judge: "Why did you murder this child's parents" Accused: "I thought it would make for an extremely interesting story"

[@FirstLast-fl1co]

Witness: "When can I leave to be on my Ownnn~!"

[@m_gwb]

This is the plot of Batman.

[@harperhughes6182]

That kid is now Batman so it worked

[@FIREcrochethairstyles]

@@m_gwb 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Miipmiip]

@@m_gwb I was just gonna say-

[@syrianadaich]

I'm 99% sure that whoever was in charge of editing the English dub expected exactly zero English speaking people to ever watch this.

[@Nixahma]

Self fulfilling prophecy

[@EduardoMartinez-rs3bu]

Kurt is actually the first ever person I've seen talk about this movie who has acknowledged that English isn't the original language, like every other dude just bashes on the voice acting and pretends like they're the original actors, if the lines sound weird it's because they're dubbed, and that's what every dubbed movie has to go through but since they've never experienced that before they want everything to be perfect, and don't get me wrong, the movie would still be trash even if the dubbing was perfect but these people just act as if they owned everything, it's good to see at least some people still acknowledge the existence of other languages instead of trying to make everything revolve around English.

[@erainmartinez8175]

well this sucks

[@Mag3.1415]

Well now over 6 million of them have seen it

[@cryptidcapybara]

Im not ashamed to admit that the 'What do I nose?' joke made me laugh every single time it popped up

[@annajirouskova9893]

only kurtis could drop these insane bars and then act this casual about it, the fuck was that, that was ART

[@queenelizabethii4397]

im sorry but a wooden boy becoming sentient and the first words out of its mouth being *"ALIIIIVE"* in paulie shores voice while ragdolling onto the floor is the funniest shit I've ever seen

[@SieMiezekatze]

Understandable

[@lazynoodle6739]

Honestly i start cry laughing thinking of this scene lol

[@patrickd.397]

Haha same

[@viscountrainbows6452]

Then the part when he literally gets capped by a blunderbuss-weilding fat cat screaming Mamma Mia. 10/10

[@A_Ducky]

Watching this on 420 on 4/20 = double 💀

[@praevidens]

That cat is unhinged and I love him. He immediately shot Pinocchio which makes him my favourite character

[@sneakysnek572]

Man really was ready to kill a child on sight

[@FurNixen]

@@sneakysnek572 You would do the same if you were a talking cat with a gun

[@sneakysnek572]

@@FurNixen shoot a child on sight? 😂

[@annar193]

And you know what was right to do so

[@N_Garamond]

gun violence among sexy, rotund 19th century cats is a big issue

[@ImmigrantSuccess]

“I’m stumped” “let me ask you an equestrian” love these puns. 😂

[@SethyWethy09]

Holy fucking shit how does Kurt make a song about Pinocchio, with multiple ball jokes and a yo momma joke sound so fucking fire?

[@antonluvs]

I don’t care what anyone says, cutting off “what do I nose?” is the funniest fucking thing. Also, can’t wait to see you on tour!

[@jujt2258]

I clicked the link and I won one billion dollar! Yay!

[@parastoomemariyan3037]

exactly :)))))))))

[@littleratperson]

Yeah, him putting a midroll after the cutoff really was genius

[@gracebranam3027]

“get bella on my face imma start fibbing” was insane

[@rosies4713]

literally came here looking for this comment thankyou 😌😭

[@iwakeupandboomimarat]

literally fire

[@endless_del]

ive rewatched this video a couple times now and that part still takes me a second to get because its so genius. true poetry in our time

[@pineapplepen9791]

“Thank you daddy 😇”

[@kailey4450]

this took me a hot sec when he said it but he’s an evil genius

[@pr0v0cative4pple]

The line delivery on "I'm _stumped"_ fucking sent my sides to the stratosphere

[@beaglebombergaming4117]

Love the first instinct from the cat was to light Pinocchio tf up

[@moonbunny24]

Fun fact: there's another English dub that was produced in Russia that seems to have the same script, but different voice actors. "Skedee skedee skedee" is NOT in this version, meaning that yes, it was probably improved.

[@annritsu]

a genius....

[@DarkShadic9632]

Pauly Shore is truly a visionary

[@user-himenes]

How and why would you know that, are you an expert on this movie wtf

[@halanlore1278]

@@user-himenes possibly... they might be Russian or have access to Russian media? They literally just know there's another dub, why so skeptical are you a cat?

[@Dannygoblin]

Plus the characters mouth didn’t move- So it really was improved 💀 And the studio was perfectly okay with it

[@massdysfunkton]

I like how the clip of kurtis saying “what do i nose” got progressively shorter and shorter each additional time it was used till it was barely anything more than the twinkle sound effect

[@alxndra1772]

I giggled every time

[@sophiel9533]

Spolier

[@spiltmilk0204]

but what do i nose

[@PvtPuplovski]

Its Pavlov's Dog experiment; we laugh at the sound of the twinkle, even if there's no punchline.

[@thighmeat6034]

reverse pinocchio

[@litchi1565]

Fun fact: there's a condition called "honeymoon nose" or "honeymoon rhinitis" which is basically when some people's nose become engorged when they're aroused because there's erectile tissue in the nose so if you ever sleep with someone who has this condition you can in fact see a nose somewhat grow in front of you

[@lemin0u]

w h a t

[@ohyeah904]

I'm just saying, Pinocchio in the Disney version being immediately shocked and grateful about being given life implies that he was already conscious in his wooden body (and therefore, according to some arguments, already alive). The fairy immediately explaining to him about becoming a real boy implies that he again, already had the consciousness to recognize and compare the differences between himself and other beings.

[@LoganWH8]

It’s also kind of messed up to give him life only to immediately tell him “you’re not real. You’re different, in a bad way.”

[@Shirafune161]

If you're confused about cops randomly going door to door looking for "suspicious" people, remember that this movie was made in Russia.

[@iwantataconow1339]

as a Russian, i confirm :(

[@wildman510]

They aren't the cops they're the KGB

[@JoeMama-hu3wd]

@@wildman510 They aren't cops they're the secret police

[@christinaizmaylova9964]

@@iwantataconow1339 So am I. No, they don't.

[@iwantataconow1339]

@@christinaizmaylova9964 they “don’t” what?

[@schlieffenska]

I am 100% convinced Pauly showed up drunk and cold read the entire script with no re-takes.

[@TeethHoarderr]

I like this theory

[@honeyOTU_]

no he just sounds like this all the time

[@Sammyyaam]

he unfortunately just sounds like that. watch a goofy movie. it worked for bobby but not with this.

[@schlieffenska]

@@Sammyyaam I have been a massive fan of him since the 90s. Lol I know his accent. I still stand by what I said. :P

[@schlieffenska]

@@Sammyyaam Goofy Movie was fun. But Encino Man, Bio Dome, and Son In Law are where it's at. :)

[@KK-bc8iu]

Met Pauly Shore at a radio station where he was being interviewed. He was chill asf. He gave me a high five & asked my name on his way out of the station after the interview. I was kinda in awe but not because of his celebrity status but because he went out of his way to be nice. 10/10 would do again.

[@whatsupinspace854]

I love that this movie likely resulted in some children acting out the funny bits and shouting at their mom's friend as they leave _"*So loooooooooong Butterfaceeee!"*_

[@_ghost_moth_]

i think my favorite part of this video was how the “what do i nose” joke kept getting cut back further and further

[@bippityboppityblue]

love that hooty pfp

[@_ghost_moth_]

thank you💅

[@sunflurrie5513]

The hooty pfp slays 😩

[@otakuinred]

Cut back... like wood...

[@PocketLint846]

@@otakuinred But what do I no-

[@carasparmann]

The repeating joke getting cut of a little more every time is so funny

[@ecksdee9768]

i agree, his comedic timing is impeccable

[@chimichild]

peak of comedy

[@peachy1835]

that’s funny but what do i nos without an e

[@tdubmusketeer]

“Get Bella on my face, I’m gonna start fibbin’ “ kills me every time

[@salemstartrial]

i’m pretty sure “believed to be by evil spirits” meant as in her home is believed to be surrounded or near evil spirits, but also it’s in no way delivered properly to get that across correctly

[@OSTCarmine]

What's with all the non-human characters freaking out about a wooden boy? Imagine Dracula laughing at you because you believe in werewolves.

[@norafudgecake4863]

Why did they add circuses in acrobatics in the movie now I’m going to associate this with psychonauts. Psychonauts is a game about a acrobatic 10 year old from the circus who runs away to become a psychonaut. Someone tell me the name of the song. I don’t think it’s a good idea for all circuses to be like: “ my kid ran away to become a psychonaut, and he made out with a random girl he just met “ Psychonauts is my favorite game series and I don’t want to associate it with this movie

[@anti-ethniccleansing465]

What’s with this guy dunking on millennials for liking Disney stuff in his millennials video (and that dunking is fully justified), but is watching and making videos about Pinocchio? Does he always lack this much self-awareness?

[@41052]

@@anti-ethniccleansing465 this movie wasn’t made by Disney and Pinocchio is not owned by Disney. It’s not that you lack this much self awareness it’s that you lack this much knowledge. Also Mulan, Snow White, Cinderella, and basically vast majority of old Disney movies do not own the concept, only their particular story.

[@anti-ethniccleansing465]

@@41052 That was probably the most hilarious cope I’ve ever seen. Congrats! Lmfao. Everybody knows of Pinocchio because of Disney’s famous cartoon that made the story known by the masses, and caused everyone to associate the story to Disney. Ask anyone on the street, and they will tell you it’s a Disney story. Your sad attempt to use a pedantic argument as an excuse of Kurtis’ lack of self-awareness/hypocrisy is the cringiest thing ever. There’s good reasons why white knights are a laughing stock. They do shit like that.

[@anti-ethniccleansing465]

@Ks Aww, how precious. The white knighting duo that can’t admit to Kurtis’ hypocrisy. Oh, and thanks for the heads up that this is a YT video. You’re a sharp one!

[@graytlo]

I’m so glad he addressed “skadee skadee skadee” lol nobody else has on KZbin and it KILLS ME

[@completlynormalhypernova666]

Most "normal" thing in this movie

[@Overseer2579]

Nostalgia Critic addressed it

[@brennens8849]

so has cosmonaut picture show. at least it’s in their video

[@lawyerreactsnotthemoon85]

I'm crying and about to pee because of it 😭😭😂💀🤣😭😭

[@Reddogzone]

this was the one thing about this movie that made me laugh hard

[@missmimosa7420]

“Get splinters while your suckin on my wooden ballsack” IM CRYING the isolation dancing took me out

[@abikuneebus]

There’s a Bomb and It’s Gonna Explode has no business being as much of a bop as it is, catches me off guard every time I make it back to this video

[@ameliapaine]

The diss track was too good to be just a bit. Genuinely hilarious writing and the perfect palette cleanser after the monstrosity that is this film!

[@pearlglass]

If you watch it drunk is not that bad ✨ word!

[@LilleviathanYT]

True there were some BARS

[@aldranzam3456]

skedew skedew sdez nuts- has healed all my ailments

[@alanamendez2036]

“Get Bella on my face ima start fibbin’ *hey daddy*” HAS ME ROLLLLINGGGGGG

[@davidthompson7703]

Bars on bars in that diss track

[@nishita5253]

that "so long, butterface" is just so funny to me, with the cat going in slow motion with a mask and a gun. It's so funny out of context and even in context

[@tarettime9392]

He's like that bod is fine AF but that mask is a no-go and that's clearly representative of your face underneath

[@lies1]

Timestamp?

[@danic4553]

@@lies1 17:37 !

[@lies1]

@@danic4553 thank you!!

[@danic4553]

@@lies1 ofc!

[@kososka]

This is so funny when you remember that this was made at the same time as Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio which is genuinely such a good movie 😭😭

[@WickedKatze]

"I love the idea of hating something so much that you buy a ticket to it to see if they've improved" that's just Statler & Waldorf 🤣

[@snubnosedmonke]

holy shit that diss track was so cleverly written and enjoyable, unlike the entirety of that movie

[@3rdwheel143]

Ikr

[@jamesallen5704]

like it was actually so fucking good

[@shinykasu2205]

"Got Bella on my face, gonna start fibbin'" sent me into orbit.

[@delbrooke7655]

It sounds like something noel would write

[@Kaeruchann]

Fr holy shit . That was hella dope 😂

[@Lucy-fn9rj]

i have to admit, if i were a 54 year old man and i got an offer to voice pinocchio i’d have a very hard time saying no

[@big_sea]

yes

[@unamedaccount4617]

yes

[@koiifsh]

yes

[@gwyngwyn_2416]

yes

[@idespisethisapp]

No.

[@juliazakowenko4104]

As a russian person, there is an iconic pretty old russian movie about Pinocchio whoch explains many of the things happening in this new animated one. The cat and fox were actually sort of the antagonists in the movie played by humans yk dressed up as a cat and a fox (i dont remember it that good because it's been a long time since i watched it). Also the vblue haired girl also was a character in the original one i remember.

[@ApolloAndTheMusic]

is it adventures of buratino?

[@tokitoons1926]

4:28 IM STILL WHEEZING AT THE “ALIIIIVE” I CANT OFMG

[@osvaldoillescas3329]

only kurtis could make a rap dressed as pinocchio and still look cool

[@dogouchu4356]

id try to dissagree but, what do i nose

[@asingularsock07]

@@dogouchu4356 When i tell you i W H E E Z E D

[@KeiraDosentStopYapping]

@@asingularsock07 same here man lol

[@calycalyps0]

And the diss track is actually fire too😂

[@shrimpchip37]

“Ska-dee ska-dee ska-deez nuts motherfucker”

[@stink1871]

the whole point of creating pinnochio was so that old man didnt have to be lonely anymore and the first thing pinnochio does is immediately try to leave him 💀💀

[@hexhollows]

father, when can i leave to be on my OWNN

[@fishysc0okielife]

@@hexhollows I've got the whole WORLD TO SEEEE

[@Getout634]

@@fishysc0okielife worldussy**

[@Red_Devil_Stew]

@@fishysc0okielife skidEE skidEE skidEE

[@anaghaarao5014]

@@hexhollows ive got THE WHOLE worldussy 😩

[@Crimzycode456]

21:47 SCP fans: I like where you’re going, but just add flesh to the equation.

[@Crimzycode456]

Thank for like🙂🙂🙂

[@galearis]

I had to come back to this because I saw my local theater is playing Pinocchio this weekend and I thought “oh yeah like the good one” and then I realized that ITS THIS ONE. THEYRE SHOWING THIS ONE IN MY THEATER.

[@stephritz1694]

“let me ask you equestrian” absolutely and violently murdered me i lost it i just lost it

[@samuelbrock]

Ska-dee ska-deez nuts

[@eileendover7896]

So fricken good hahahah

[@vampirejelly8589]

right lmao

[@Nugcon]

lyrical mastermind

[@Snarl_Marx]

Put Bella on my face, imma start fibbin'

[@thegoofiestgoober7766]

10:36 the scatman transition goes crazy unironicly though🎉🎉

[@icarus4302]

6:55 cannot believe Kurtis missed the chance to say Pinnichio was hiding because he was gonna be arrested for breaking the "LAWS" of Physics (/j)

[@BonseyJonsey]

Pinocchio's stereotypical twink voice really haunts my nightmares. It feel like this movie hate crimed me personally

[@elisecode2212]

it's the twink appearance for me

[@BonseyJonsey]

@@elisecode2212 I thought you were referring to me for a hot sec and I was like "I mean you aren't wrong but what-??"

[@yobtch7895]

Wordussy

[@firstnamelastname6016]

Oh, we all know what you look like, Casper

[@foxpatternedferret476]

"I've got the whole worldussy~"

[@teresacadima1689]

Pinocchio would definitely win the horniest weasel award

[@OrangeFruitStand]

WHY WOULD YOU CURSE ME WITH THE KNOWLEDGE OF HORNY WEASEL AGAIN

[@PerfectStarr]

😂😂

[@mandarinablue8438]

loloolo😂😂😂😂

[@Opus566]

lmaoo😭😭

[@twistytrombone2453]

I GET THE REFERENCE 😭💙

[@zubetp]

here's my support for inkbox: i scrolled through every single design they had and eventually came across a duck wearing a little party hat riding a skateboard. the design was called "party boy."

[@jaybaby65]

the only time ive watched this movie was high off my ass and all i could remember about it was how the voice acting sounded like the actors were given their lines out of order and out of context

[@zubetp]

to be fair when i'm high all dialogue sounds like that

[@chloedaugherty9567]

WHY IS KURTIS ACTUALLY KIND OF A GOOD RAPPER

[@GucciLarue]

DEADASS I HAD TO REPLAY THE TRACK A FEW TIMES….BARS UNMATCHED

[@hannahveium4082]

GENUINELY LIKE IF HE PUT OUT MORE RAP OMFG

[@chloedaugherty9567]

yall i just realized this comment sounds so backhanded i genuinely thinks he's good but it was just surprising 😭

[@GucciLarue]

@@chloedaugherty9567 I thought it sounded genuine bro dw dw 😳don’t overthink

[@rooty]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN KIND OF

[@PNSecondaire]

Can we just talk about the absolute BARS this man is spitting?

[@louisetattersall4060]

Freaking FIRE 🔥

[@bluebel1857]

Scrolling the comments for someone talking about kurt boy spitting 🔥

[@PNSecondaire]

@@bluebel1857 I know right, same!

[@alaskabane5340]

I am so mad it's not on spotify so I can repeatedly play it until I get sick of it

[@PNSecondaire]

@@alaskabane5340 I did find this though. kzbin.info/www/bejne/fpWTXq2MmrRohas

[@broski18]

10:42 knew exactly what you were referring to here. it's "they who casteth stones ought not to live in glass houses", aka "bro, says you; dont be a hypocrite"

[@aurawarrior1367]

The diss track unironically slaps. Missed opportunity for a line about "Wooden Acting"

[@avalinah]

Underrated comment

[@randomslomo1875]

I thought it was kinda scary. I was petrified.

[@blehbushka9940]

@@randomslomo1875 naw broo lmao

[@ellarose7114]

honestly he should’ve given the ORIGINAL original pinocchio a verse

[@audreydunn9595]

deadass it was actually rlly good

[@spiltmilk0204]

say what you will but i think Pauly Shore’s voice acting makes this movie 100 times more hilarious. the delivery on some of his lines makes me laugh so hard it hurts

[@piss7610]

Engineer gaming

[@homestuckhauntsme]

He's definitely the best part of the movie.

[@spiltmilk0204]

HOLY HELL KURTY BOY NOTICED ME

[@spiltmilk0204]

@@piss7610 engineer gaming

[@spiltmilk0204]

@@homestuckhauntsme absolutely

[@adethesimp]

26:32 "get bella on my face ima start fibbin'" WHAT NOOO IM DEAD 😭😭😭

[@Ahbakedziti.]

This is my favorite video of all time. I cry laughing every time. Ive shown it to all of my friends. This is so underrated. Its a masterpiece.

[@Patterrz]

The Pinocchio coming alive scene is actually the funniest thing i've seen all day

[@thismustbeisaac]

“I’m a boy and I’m alIIIIIIVVVEEEE-“ always gets me istfg

[@user-ou8zk8wl3j]

It sounds like a fan silly dub

[@Ventafps]

I thought he was gonna say he edited that part but no it's fucking real

[@v1x3D]

@@thismustbeisaac fr 😭

[@leahjk97]

I know right??

[@JonahWho]

it’s weird that they completely removed the nose thing, which is literally the thing pinnochio is most known for.

[@maddycaldwell8249]

But this is the TRUE story 😂

[@tiffany-chan1235]

YO I wasn't expecting you, pretty cool seeing you here!

[@ariel-xi7ds]

THATS TRUE LOLLLL

[@sugarculted4155]

yeah cause in the russian version his nose doesn’t grow, he just keeps ripping everything apart with it💀

[@polisha2235]

well, the movie was based on the disney cartoon about pinocchio and also tale about his russian version -- buratino ("Golden key, or the adventures of Buratino" by Tolstoy), so they could sell it in russia and outside of it, too (russians already know how bad our own 3d animations are, so they don't earn much in theaters). buratino has mostly different plot from pinocchio, but the only things it has in common with this horrible movie are dreams about theater, blue-haired girl (in the tale her name is malvina and she is just one of his friends), villains which are a cat, a fox and the owner of the puppet theater, also his nose is not growing, it's pretty long already at the start. btw russian version is pretty light-hearted than original story and buratino is not becoming a real boy in the end, he stays as a wooden doll, because the main themes of the tale are friendship, helping others and creating a better life for the ones you love, while pinocchio is all about self-improvement and becoming an entirely different person.

[@FruitiestSushi]

15:30 no one is talking about THIS delivery tho

[@sophiethoma4865]

if this was a live action movie the cat would be played by james corden

[@venusrose9890]

I absolutely love the power move of starting your retelling of a popular story by denouncing all other versions as fiction.

[@Novastar.SaberCombat]

"WELCOME TO ALL THINGS SCO'ISH. IF ISS NOT SCO'ISH... ISS CRAP!" --Mike Myers

[@nany_quinha]

Ive seen a few of these and they are usually the ones that deviate the furthest from tbe source material 🤣 its honestly so funny, but they got some balls to declare that "this one is the truest true one to ever truth ever, none of these other ones could bruh"

[@BLET_55artem55]

​@@nany_quinhathat's kind of a joke, it isn't supposed to be taken for granted

[@nany_quinha]

@@BLET_55artem55 i know...? I was joking too

[@Gobble640]

LMAO FR

[@zanemarciniak7789]

How are there not more comments about how lyrically complex the song is, the rhyme scheme is crazy. I can tell you put a lot of work into it Mr. Mayor, and it absolutely paid off

[@miyookii123]

THIS.

[@somethingstupid1075]

fr tho. I hope he posts it separately otherwise I’m gonna be coming back to this video all the time just for the song.

[@mm-ei9fk]

upvote, retweet, and all of the above

[@h1p.h0p]

fax. i thought it was gonna be a goofy song but he actually went in

[@frickfrack7075]

Dude went so hard for a Pinocchio diss track!

[@freakenstein1204]

screaming 'ALIIIIVE-uh mmMMMAHHHH AHK ahk- IM A BOY AND IM ALIIIVE! AH' and immediately crashing into shit is exactly how i came out as trans actually

[@storey662]

Seriously, that diss track was FIRE! 🔥 Especially 26:32 😂 Pauly Shore saying “Thank you Daddy” as Pinocchio isn’t something I would have EVER thought I’d hear in a rap track (for so MANY different reasons), but DAMN if it doesn’t take it to the next level! Hilarious as usual.

[@Dopefilthy]

The “let me ask you equestrian” part was absolute gold.

[@Toby2017]

I stopped the video and fell to my feet laughing. 😂😂😂

[@willnotshutup]

@@Toby2017 you fell to your feet??

[@charliehigginson7990]

@@willnotshutup he stopped ascending from the meditative state he entered while watching the video

[@willnotshutup]

@@charliehigginson7990 ah, makes sense

[@i3handean423]

this line was used in the movie 'It takes two" 1995

[@ciarapark281]

Kurtis dropping an absolute BANGER at the end of the video as if he didn’t just change the game completely for music

[@bruhman5829]

i should have realized that kurtis was a master at his craft when he dropped blood related

[@nikkijones6070]

it’s been a year since this video was posted but “what do I nose” and “ska dee ska dee nuts motherfucker” have been stuck in my head ever since I watched it help

[@quinns3072]

Dude. You're the funniest youtube comedian I've ever seen (which is a really low bar, but that's not the point and you're killing what little competition you have). I just found your content and I've been binge watching it, which is nuts to do for a youtube comedian's work, at least for me it is, I don't binge watch anything on youtube. You're on my list for the funniest up and coming man, and I literally just started following your work. Can't wait to watch your career blow up!

[@zbcrazy]

“The cops show up for no reason” the most realistic part of the movie

[@GwynC]

@Текаshi 6iх9ine 🅥 whoa it's 6ix9ine!!! Dude I hate your music dude!!! Haha

[@GwynC]

@UCqOo_0WFyD8gz5zL28b9WvQ porn bot porn bot

[@REPLA_ACE]

Based

[@inmusicsam]

I'm russian and I'm pretty sure this is more based on Buratino than Pinnocio. Buratino is basically a Russian version of Pinnocio but with a lot of differences (no growing nose, it was literally just a log that came alive and became a doll, he encountered a slave circus with other toys and stuff, there were a fox and cat bandit and a weird blue haired girl and other things similar to the movie). I think it's kind of a mix of both? It's so weird. Thank god I've never seen it

[@everwhatever]

It really is, Buratino is a very popular shall we say... rewrite of the Pinocchio story to the point most people have never read the real Adventures of Pinocchio or seen the Disney version, just the Soviet movies - the animated one and the live-action one. No one gave a fuck about copyright then lmao, there's also Russian 'adaptations' of Winnie the Pooh and Wizard of Oz that are half fanfiction half copyright infringement. I've never seen the Disney movie either, but the fox and the cat were in the original Italian story too. The blue haired girl in this movie is neither Malvina from the Russian story nor the Turquoise Fairy from the original fairytale.

[@tylerissosexy9199]

серозно? 😂 я так тоже думал, але не очень понимав

[@LMC764]

Buratino is superior to Pinocchio in every way

[@rozzyrose3280]

Huh, that’s interesting

[@blueghost4769]

Ah so that's why i don't find the cat with a gun thing weird in this movie... I'm not russian but my grandma managed to get a dvd of that version of Pinocchio and that's the only Pinocchio movie I've ever seen. But in the version i watched he was still called Pinocchio.

[@user-kw2gi7uz6v]

the ALIIIIIIVE audio always kills me

[@alicebthegachaweirdo8378]

Same

[@Outanower]

The physics on the horse jump was mostly correct. If you jump on a train, you don’t go flying backwards. You stay the constant speed which is the same as the relative train speed. Maybe with air drag he would be pushed back a bit but just wanted to clarify

[@zubetp]

yeah but if you were up on the _roof_ of a moving train car and you jumped fifteen feet into the air and did a backflip you wouldn't land on the spot you jumped from

[@Outanower]

@@zubetp hence the air drag. If it was done in a vacuum, then there would be nothing to slow them down

[@seashinesarah2898]

honestly, and i'm not being sarcastic here. Those lyrics SLAPPED. Like actually, you killedddd it with the rhyming schemes and incorporation of puns and it just WORKED SO WELL. Fantastic job, I would loveee to see you write more music, non-parody style even.

[@artisticmunga9610]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/eIOzhaF3qp2sj9E

[@lu656]

Agreed! Like, it’s… actually really good?

[@asterr1495]

yess

[@mochamoo2139]

@@lu656 you could say it’s… very really good

[@seashinesarah2898]

@@mochamoo2139 ayyyee

[@annsuma28]

Just in case anyone's curious, the movie being originally Russian makes a lot of sense. It was probably based on the "Russian interpretation" of the story, Burattino / Буратино. It introduces the duo of the fox and the cat, the love interest with the blue hair, this whole circus scam thing. Also the main character's nose never grows in that story. I honestly had no clue it was that far from the original tale lol

[@Zizalaonfire]

Yeah, I was raised on soviet versions of movies (like buratino, Alice in Wonderand, Winnie the Pooh…). Ive actually never seen the originals. The 1970s Alice is extra weird tho. But I like the artstyle, strangely.

[@oulafursson]

I can't even truly say it's "Russian interpretation", more of a "hey, I heared some cool idea, I want to make something completely different with my own political commentary thrown in". Buratino is a surprisingly deep story tbh, with criticism of police, capitalism, slavery etc So it's kinda like if you read Bible and then make Matrix with some allusions to Christ, you know? XD (exaggerating a bit but still :))

[@annsuma28]

@@oulafursson yeah, that's why I put the parentheses, I wasn't sure what to call it. Either way the plot is so ingrained in our minds that seeing Westerners shocked was an eye-opening experience for sure

[@jessieweickert9105]

The whole time I was wondering why his nose never grew. This now makes sense thank you

[@Mai_mna]

Oh so that's why, thank you

[@garrettstater7700]

When I’m sad and really down I smoke weed and binge your videos, keep creating content you do more for plenty of people than you could imagine dude

[@tafffita]

Tbf to Pinocchio, he had the same reaction to being alive as me waking up every single day

[@EverestIX-kd9vz]

MAMA MÍA AM I A HISPANIC

[@cellytron]

“Once Pinocchio recovers from the gunshot” is my new favorite sentence

[@bovinityleak2066]

Merica 🫡

[@cellytron]

@@bovinityleak2066true

[@the_Dos__]

@@bovinityleak2066 ah yes, pepper

[@Random-sk6hm]

Pinocchio is a real boy ... a real boy in an American high school

[@It_Is_Oylenox]

@@bovinityleak2066 Russia actually

[@tux75]

The cat is the best character. He's the only one with consistency. He shows a consistent need to destroy things. Just like a real cat.

[@AxxLAfriku]

Let me get this straight: You comment something that is unrelated to the fact that I have two HEAVENLY HANDSOME girlfriends? Considering that I am the unprettiest KZbinr ever, having two handsome girlfriends is really incredible. Yet you did not mention that at all. I am quite disappointed, dear tuc

[@3starsburningbright]

@@AxxLAfriku lmao wtf

[@D44RK_Iced_Yogs]

Also, the cat reacting to Pinocchio is actually how everyone should’ve reacted in the original. I was expecting some sort of reference to #Roxy btw

[@blending_in]

As someone who has 4 cats, I can confirm

[@kittylovecookie7825]

Bruh did you just copied word to word from another user under Saberspark video about this movie 💀

[@helliumballoons7546]

I mean, if you jump at the right angle, the horse trick at the beginning of the movie IS possible. Because the laws of momentum state that an object in motion will stay in motion unless obstructed by some other force. This is why if you were to jump while in a bus or plane, you wouldn’t go flying backwards. In this case, I think he would just end up slightly farther back on the horse because of wind resistance (aka, the outside force).

[@spezifisch4468]

Thank you, I was searching for this comment. I was midly annoyed that nobody mentioned that

[@michaelgariti8008]

Pinnochio's dis track is the best thing to happen recently...well, a year ago. Thank you SO MUCH for that! 😂

[@hannahmangus4392]

“Without any help from us fairies” sounds like she’s doing Trixie Mattel’s version of a Swedish accent

[@misaefre]

THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING OF TOO LMAO

[@shadypixel4478]

The aforementioned fairie

[@imeantloveyou5eva]

COMPLETELY

[@gideongivesharrowboners]

all I'm thinking of is Swedish Cher

[@alnabulsi313]

*Hällo hällo tha puppet people!* 🤣👏

[@daveslamjam]

pinocchio's initial behavior upon awakening is oddly reminiscent of gooby.

[@Whereyoureyesdontgo]

dave pfp 😳😳😳

[@blockheadd]

i hate that stupid fucking bear

[@anna_banana414]

no bc you’re right and i don’t like it

[@janeiskindafunny]

THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT

[@Hi-bf4ft]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aom2aWd8nquIi9k Finally it's here.

[@psychedel0c]

bro you've got bars, I wanna hear more of this

[@aiyannagarcia2159]

“You living in the backwoods but you know we smoking those” is fucking hilarious 😭

[@DevoteaSings]

The fact that the rap sounds sick even in 2x really says something, those bars were straight up firewood

[@gnair5094]

💀💀

[@anopinion1349]

firewood

[@RaeRae126]

LMAO FIREWOOD💀

[@OliverShearer]

U JUS SOME DRIFTWOOD

[@georgeford8221]

Yeah dude I was impressed