Learning and healing your attachment style | Coffee Talk with Jessica Baum

Talking with Jessica Baum, psychotherapist, speaker and author of the book Anxiously Attached about attachment styles, dysfunction, healing our attachment wounds and learning to thrive in an insecurely attached society.
Find out more about Jessica here: www.beselffull.com/
My Instagram ▹ / kalynnicholson13
Coffee Talk Instagram ▹ / kalynscoffeetalk
Flow Corner Instagram ▹ / kalynsflowcorner
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My Books:
Catcher [dystopian fiction] ▹ www.amazon.com/dp/B07G7QSGM2/...
Dancing With Elephants [poetry] ▹ www.amazon.com/dp/1999415132/...
FEELS [self-development] ▹ www.amazon.com/dp/1999415124/...
Disclaimer: I am not a mental health specialist, just a Canadian gal with an old soul who likes to crack the ice on deep conversations that can foster personal growth and positive change.
❤ This Coffee Talk is an early, ad-free members version.

[@sarasiouxspencer3522]

I thought I developed an anxious attachment. Turns out he was cheating on me the whole time and I was right about everything. Idk girlies, trust your gut 💪

[@saturnsharvest]

Awwww love the springy green you’ve got going on there 🌿🌸

[@valerie4505]

I love that you asked about access to resources; this is so critical to healing, recovery, wtv we want to call it. I’m just struggling with the response, because access to social determinants of health is just as important as access to community and safe people.

[@HustlerShells]

Such a cool video! Love the mental health/attachment topics❤ I learn more with each chat

[@TheBlink182fangirl]

Normally a silent viewer but has to comment! I’ve really looking into my attachment style - this video is perfect timing! Thoroughly enjoyed this. Thank you so much 💚

[@TheZarahLee]

Kalyn, I just want to say that I absolutely love these topics around mental health and I also want to add that I love your witchy topic talks also. This video could not have come at a better time as I just came out of an intense panic meltdown where I have never felt my anxious attachment so strongly (triggered by starting to see someone who for the first time has so many amazing qualities and great at communicating) and its so true that we have to heal through relationships. Excited to read her book now Lots of love xox

[@MoceansParadigm]

Loved this, thank you! I live in Palm Beach. Def gonna look her up 🏝️ This info is so important. And for the people who feel “triggered”, well… then isn’t this the kind of content you need most? Triggers are signals of what you need to work on. Not things to run from. Not things to fear. Things to work through and give yourself soooo much love and information around so that you feel strong and capable! And then the trigger fades away, or is at least easier to move through.

[@Jasemae]

I really love your content. It is so healing and informative. You have helped me learn so much about myself and how I relate to people. I really appreciate your work, and it was so cool to hear from an expert about attachment styles. I know that I am anxious attachment. I have always been loud about wanting affection or attention, but I also have experienced avoidant attachment during my teen years. It is interesting to learn that we carry pockets of the different attachment styles. I hope to heal my anxious style and build a secure attachment.

[@user-zm3wz5zj8g]

Listening to this while working on a Saturday night ... minute 32 called me out and made me reevaluate

[@Pinkglowbeauty]

I love your videos! Very inspiring and I love your voice it is also very relaxing! Please keeping coming 💕 sending you love and health!

[@digitaldorothy]

Wow, she’s basically my neighbor! I’m going to be listening to this one over again. ❤

[@MicheleHelinski]

🎉hey girl it means the world to me that you exist

[@kirsten_christine]

Great video!

[@kmontagna1]

Awesome

[@isabellestahl7634]

Hey Kalyn, I absolutely LOVE your podcast, your account, everything. I‘ve been following you since 2014, can you imagine?! 🩷 I think you are the person I have followed ever since KZbin became popular here in Germany and ever since I started watching (I‘ve known that Elephant mug for a while now 😏 hope that one still exists 😂), so that says something. I can relate o you so much and I love that you get into so many psychology and spirituality related topics which is what I also went into eventually. 🙏🏻 So cool! 😚 I was wondering if it was possible to stop the music in the podcast for some parts or make it more quiet so you can just hear the louder tones… I don‘t know, I am just very sensitive to sound and it gets too much quite soon but I really want to listen to all of your episodes. You OBVIOUSLY don‘t have to and I feel bad for even asking, but I try to do that more often. I love you so much! Thanks for everything! 💕

[@manifeststation4740]

I would love to ask is it worth revisiting old patterns even if you have recognised them and not repeated them in a while? Even when you think you're done so much of the inner work is it worth revisiting like are the patterns just dormant or have I just found a different coping mechanism? For example as a survivor of narcissistic abuse I have resigned myself that I attract these people sonI no longer open my heart to any relationships. That doesn't seem healthy either! But to me it is a way to not go through the same rubbish again as it was so hard to heal from but I have now subscribed to the idea that because his is who I attract I just don't engage with anyone especially romantically as I see it as letting my guard down and asking For the pattern to repeat. Sorry that was a ramble but hope you understand.

[@HustlerShells]

Hi, don’t know if this will help but I had the same issue where I attracted more narcissistic tending people and my therapist explained it to me in this way. It’s basically a whole balancing system. So you attract people that balance you out to the other end of the spectrum so if you are a very people-pleasing type and you tolerate a lot of unreasonable behaviour then you will attract someone who is more selfish and will take advantage of your kind nature. So the way to stop attracting those types of people is to balance yourself out a bit more, in my case I worked on my self worth and really focused on seeing myself as a good person with a lot to offer and it has changed everything! I am so into people showing respect and safety now and just won’t go for someone who doesn’t show that. Hope this helps a bit

[@reneem6162]

I love your videos & have been watching your channel for a long time but I do not enjoy this content.

[@PrettyXXEmpty]

Then just move along duh

[@reneem6162]

@PrettyXXEmpty um excuse you. Im not being rude. I'm letting her know that if she wants to keep her followers engaged, maybe this isn't the content we want to see.

[@KalynsCoffeeTalk]

Would you care to elaborate? For instance, you don't enjoy interviews? Or this topic at large? Just saying "I don't enjoy this" isn't very helpful feedback unless you explain what aspect of it you don't enjoy.

[@reneem6162]

@KalynsCoffeeTalk thanks for the reply Kalyn like I said, I've enjoyed your videos. I don't mind the talk of mental health. I do think it's important to bring awareness to it. However, I don't like the talk of different attachment styles as someone who has struggled w it my entire life. I go to your channel for more motherhood, femininity, growth, spirituality, etc... I understand that some of the viewers may enjoy this, but it wasn't that enjoyable for me, that's all.. my anxious attachment has kept me in situations & relationships I really should have left & although I understand the reasons I didn't, it's a painful topic for me. 🩷

[@manifeststation4740]

I'm Sorry to hear this is a struggle for you and has triggered you but things in the world will trigger people. Why not jus watch it? It triggered me too but I liked learning. You can speak for yourself but not all Kalyns followers. You have a right to feel that way and I understand you not healing has imposed that trigger to others. I really really hope you heal as to all humans everywhere but a trigger is just a signal of what needs attention. We all have pain and we all have triggered even Kalyn. Much love and peace x