Let's Talk About Asexual Representation

[@sylve2474]

Small correction! Aspec is not *just* a slang term for ace/aro ppl,, it is actually short for "a-specutrum" and refers to people who fall on the spectrums of asexuality, aromanticism(and very occasionally ppl will use it for agender too),,, so someone could just be ace or aro or demi or greyromantic/greysexual and they'd still be aspec,,,, for me personally, I'm ace and (probably) greypanromantic,,, but tbh romantic attraction is confusing, who even knows for sure if i experience it at all, or maybe i do🤷‍♀️,,, so I'm quite partial to referring to myself as aspec or as ace and aro-spec,,,,,, tbh,, the main idea still works how op said it to an extent,, but I thought itd be good to clarify, since op said theyre not ace or aro themselves,,,, and I adore that this video is being made in the first place,, so then i extra want all the right info to be available for anyone trying to learn more about the community, lol,, and yeah, op clearly has a lot of respect for the aspec community,, so i really appreciate that,, thanks for making this vid!♡

[@WritinRealSlow]

Thank you very much, I'm really glad you cleared that up! I'll be sure to double check my terms in the future!

[@gljames24]

Don't forget that it also include Aplatonic people as well.

[@WritinRealSlow]

@@gljames24 aye

[@KodaCreatez]

​@@WritinRealSlowthe actual shortened version of Asexual Aromantic is AroAce or Aroace (some people prononce both words some just say it as one but the former is more common)

[@ostmo00]

I haven't heard of this term, it is a very convenient short-hand.

[@KaidenZvek]

Also, the Overly Sarcastic Productions' Red and Blue(and his wife) fall on the asexual spectrum and while they do not discuss it in great detail since their content is focused on history, mythology, literature and(somewhat) astronomy it does pop up in a few instances, especially on streams. And Red has a webcomic called Aurora(you should go read it, google "comic aurora") which has a lesbian, a cis gay and a trans gay and two bi main characters and an ace protagonist. (The story, being written by an ace author, is not really focused on romance though, except for one gay ship later on, and it portrays the quite rare phenomenon when it comes to media representation of a male-female strong platonic and non sexual bond with said ace character)

[@WritinRealSlow]

I love OSP! the only reason I didn't talk about red was because I didn't want to give people the wrong idea about their content, since LGBT subjects very rarely come up on their channel. Also I seriously need to read aurora, it's been on my list for a while and I just haven't gotten around to it.

[@KaidenZvek]

@@WritinRealSlow I completely understand but osp is literally the way I found out ace people in fact are a thing and can be amazingly talented and funny (* aphobia eradicated *), so it holds a special place in my heart. And the comic really is getting even better with each new chapter(an improvement in art style and overall composition is also evident) and red's notes on each page are consistently funny. (+ in the most recent chapter a non binary character with mobility aids was introduced!* Representation win *)

[@CaptainLightner]

i completely forgot osp existed i need to watch them again

[@ostmo00]

that is very cool to know

[@boreas-hiburnum8390]

Arospec gray-ace here! Obligatory “Thank you for touching on Alastor”. Personally as an aspec I DO make and enjoy ship content of him because I’m romance and sex positive and since he’s technically my rep, I think I’m allowed! THAT BEING SAID it’s a verry thin line between people not caring that he’s ace versus people who are respectful of it. When done improperly it really does feel like they’re finding an excuse (I’ve had an astonishing amount of “rep” as a gray-ace because of it lol). I personally don’t have a problem with people shipping him in general. I’d be a hypocrite if I did. The problem occurs when people don’t bother to put in effort and make actual representation of the gray-aces, Demis and sex-positive aspecs and just use it as a get out of jail free card. If you’re gonna take this character and say he’s Demi, fucking do it right or don’t do it at all. Please! Make him gray ace! Make him lithoromantic! Asexuality and aromanticism are such vast spectrums and since he doesn’t have a confirmed specific label, we SHOULD use that as an excuse to make content of lots of different individual orientations! But actually commit to it, yknow? My sexuality and stance on romance and sex is not your passport. People who listen to us do exist! I’ve found several GREAT fics where Alastor engages in sex or romance, but is still very firmly ace and/or aro, and they’ve made me feel so listened to and seen. I’ve genuinely felt so much less alone hearing people write a character who likes sex but doesn’t feel attraction. But they aren’t all like that. It’s just happening on such a large scale, y’know? Like it’s not one or two people being horny. I get that. It’s a massive, collective overlooking. I’m already digressing, but I do feel like Lilith was… questionable lmao. I absolutely despise “aside rep” where the character is basically given a word of God canon identity and then never has it brought up. Like… why bother? Just give us a scene where they turn someone down. Or say SOMETHING. They half-assed it with Lilith! Kinda! With Steve! But c’mon, Dana… do better. You can. Anyways, that’s my two cents. TLDR if you’re gonna make horny/smitten Alastor content, do it right or don’t do it. Horny aces and romance-favorable arospecs exist but God actually bother learning about us first. EDIT: grammar error lmao

[@ArtichokeHunter]

Just wanted to point out that "aroace" refers to someone who is both aro and ace, not anyone on the ace and/or aro spectra. I figured out pretty quickly in this vid what you were going for though, and maybe in text it would be clearer if it's "aro/ace" rather than "aroace" or "aro-ace," although I'm not used to "aro/ace" as a blanket term in the ace and aro spaces I inhabit.

[@currentspadesfoot3755]

As an aroace person, thank you for acknowledging the Alastor problem. It means a lot to me personally because Alastor was the not only the first ace charcater that I was able to witness getting really popular, but also the first one I got to see as the show was running and being produced. The fans who are just ruthlessly horny about him enrage me so much, and 9/10 times if you call them on it they just talk over you and ignore what you and virtually every other ace person has said about it. It's so frustrating for literally THE ONE ace character I got to see as it was coming out also be the character you getting shipped the most and the character you get talked over the most about!

[@wyster14]

Yeah tbh there’s way better ships in Hazbin, I don’t get why ppl are trying to ship Alastor with others in romantic and sexual ways. I do have platonic ships for him, but like mostly his friends and then him being the cat dad to the stray he found (Nifty.) I find their dynamic hilarious because she does concerning things and he thinks it’s funny and mildly disturbing, even for a serial killer.

[@WritinRealSlow]

Maybe it's because have so many aro and ace friends, but the moment I find out a character is ace my brain immediately shuts the flow of horny thoughts about the character, because all I can imagine is how upsetting it would be for them to have to experience that energy.

[@Alex_Fierro2772]

Exactly, and it is heavily implied he's aro too, but the main reason it hasn't been explicitly stated is because she's scared of backlash, and I'm so god damn tired of people not being able to handle representation they're not used to, no matter how much it's needed. She literally said people can ship whoever they want regardless of their sexuality, and this is one of my main problem with the fans

[@WritinRealSlow]

@@Alex_Fierro2772 Anytime it comes to representation, my attitude is always going to be the same. "Say it outright, you coward."

[@enter-clever-name]

⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠@@Alex_Fierro2772I would say that was true at one point, but now that she’s openly and audibly agreeing with the statement “Alastor is aroace, *not* aroace-coded” you can’t really say it’s only implied and not stated

[@anokartist2352]

My biggest problem with alastor is that if it was implied that he's gay than there would be virtually no one protesting* it. Al has been outright confirmed as aro twice already only for the show to face incredible backlash from people "disappointed" and then later been taken back. If they implied/confirmed he was gay, however, everyone would be celebrating about new representation. I feel like people who straight up say he isn't aro need to relearn context clues because it's extremely obvious that in context Rosie was meaning aro/aroace and probably just didn't realise the difference or see it as necessary.

[@ArtichokeHunter]

Personally I'm an acespec person who is a big fan of representation that is more about resonating with ace and aro people than about educating allos. Scenes with characters discussing their labels can be done well, but it's usually clunky and forced and often involves oversimplifying definitions anyway. Some of my favorite types of ace representation are those like in I Saw the TV Glow, which I haven't seen make it into these kinds of videos yet; representation where characters realistically describe their experiences and realistically don't have the language to discuss labels. (I would love to see another kind, which I haven't, where characters don't need to scenes discussing their labels because the people in their lives all know and they can just focus more specifically on their own experiences than on a category of wildly disparate experiences.)

[@JeoPumpkin]

Toxtricity avatar, aroace video essay, what i believe to be the wandersong soundtrack, an amazing voice, this is an absolute gem to me! Incredible stuff this is wonderful. having finished the video, it really did feel like an older sibling standing up for me, being aroace myself- that meant a lot

[@WritinRealSlow]

I'm so happy I could make you feel that way! Knowing I could make even one person's day a little better makes all the effort worth it! Plus, you deserve to feel represented and cared for.

[@kayspaceprince]

Thanks for having me consult on the script! I found out I was ace in high school and did SO much reading on sexuality lol. 10/10 video, excellent pride celebration, will send you endless aroace memes again

[@WritinRealSlow]

And thank you for agreeing to help! I'm looking forward to it!

[@nuclearcatbaby1131]

I had an abusive foster parent who was a lesbian and knew everything about every other letter of the LGBTQ+ alphabet but she dismissed my lack of sexuality as a symptom of autism. Even though my more severely autistic twin sister clearly identified as straight. I didn't find out until she threw me out at 21 and one of my roommates, a 30something straight man, casually suggested that I seemed to be asexual.

[@kayspaceprince]

@@nuclearcatbaby1131 oh man, I’m sorry that happened to you!

[@PleatedLunaMoth]

Don't forget that if you really do have a problem with aspec people, then you have a problem with agender people too. So many people seem to forget that, even though it is a separate identity, it holds many of the same implications and even many similar stigmas because it is inherently the *lack* of something many consider to be fundamentally human. As an agender person myself, I can say for sure that trying to stand against aspec people is also standing against agender people and the queer community at large.

[@WritinRealSlow]

That's a really good point, actually. I'm agender myself, so I get how you feel.

[@arandomperson8438]

I’m ace and I listen to a lot of audio dramas. Despite the fact that audio dramas often have more rep in general, I still don’t see very much aro/ace rep. The two characters I can think of who are aro/ace are Jonathan Sims from and Violet Lull. Johnathan Sims is from _The Magnus Archives_, he’s biromantic asexual, although him being ace is only brought up in like one episode. He’s the protagonist of the podcast and I really like him as a character, but honestly the ace rep is kind of blink-and-you’ll-miss-it. Violet Lull is from _the Department of Variance of Somewhere, Ohio_, they’re aromatic bisexual. The podcast actually shows her discovering that she is aromatic, as well as how it has affected her relationships. That being said, it was only officially confirmed that they are aromatic on tumblr.

[@ArtichokeHunter]

John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme Series 9 has a major aroace character, Uncle Newt, in a radio "comedy" (the show as a whole is sketch comedy, but that season is more puzzley storytelling than really comedy imo). Just thought to mention because you brought up audio fiction media.

[@currentspadesfoot3755]

I really wish Jon wasn't blink-and-you'll-miss-it. He's my favorite ace character but it's so easy to overlook and it felt like I was settling for it just being said in a QnA and then not being mentioned in the actual podcast. I loved the Magnus Archives so much but it really could've been handled better

[@Stargazer_Ley]

I don't know if you saw the Helluva Boss Pride post from a few days ago but Octavia (and Mammon) were confirmed ace. I'm hoping they do something with her but as of right now they don't. I just thought that was neat that the Helluvaerse has 3 canon aces now and one is fan favorite Octavia who is....just a girl more or less.

[@WritinRealSlow]

I did see it and it's cool, but I don't consider it true representation until it's actually worked into the show proper, same as I do with trans and enby characters.

[@buttercxre]

I really do like the fan theories that her being ace is gonna massively complicate the arranged marriage situation.

[@supermasterball1]

This was very much needed by me today. A problem I run into more then I like is that Aromantics tend to not get acknowledged by the wider community. Felt that way after leaving my local pride event and not seeing anything acknowledging Aro people. So this video put a smile on my face to hear someone talking about it but also having a decent understanding of the nuances.

[@WritinRealSlow]

I'm glad I could help you feel better. My goal with my representation videos is to help raise awareness and make people feel seen, so honestly knowing I made even one person's day better makes this and entirely worthwhile endeavor for me.

[@Alex_Fierro2772]

Hi, I'm aroace and this is the first video I've seen of yours, and I'd like to thank you so so much. This is my absolute favourite video I've seen on ace people, and you did amazing on it (other than aspec being a slang term, but I know you've been told that and had misunderstood). Thank you for making it clear that it's a perfectly normal thing and any hate or intolerance is absolutely stupid and necessary, and *especially* talking about the Alastor situation. We really need the rep, and imo Vivziepop needs to state whether or not he is truly aro, especially because one of the main reasons I've heard about people shipping him with literally everyone and being really horny in general with him, is because "he's not aro, only ace" even thought it's very very obvious the plan was/is for him to be aro. It makes me so uncomfortable, and the fans are so bad about it that even my friends who are ace and one even aro, still do it so so much. So again, thank you so much for being so clear about everything in this video, it's really needed.

[@chikii270]

Thank you for seeing the aroace community as valid. I’m ace myself, and came out to my family a few months ago. My mum was completely understanding, but my grandparents and some other older family members have been…difficult. They belittle me about it, calling it just a phase, and constantly mentioning how I just “haven’t found the right man yet”. It’s…trying. Especially since my grandma basically cut me off, and now doesn’t give me any gifts or anything for holidays, even though I do the same for her, and ignores me at family gatherings. Which sucks, because she was one of my favourite people growing up :(

[@quercus432]

Unrelated to the topic but is that à Rivulet pfp i'm seeing?

[@chikii270]

@@quercus432 yup xD

[@pheonixrises11]

I love the movie ‘I am what I am’!!! The whole time she’s just looking for a friend, and even though she meets people she really clicks with, their desires for relationships get in the way of her friendships with them. She does form these deep bonds with them, but they aren’t able to last. Although, her finally finding a fellow aromantic at the end made me wish the movie was longer so they could interact more, lol. I was in an a-spectrum club in university, and can confidently say I would love a whole tv series about acearo people being friends.

[@samskelly]

I can’t wait Mighty nein to be animated so we can see Caduceus say in the cartoon, outloud that he is aroace. I think it would be great to have more aroace characters, speaking as a fellow ace myself

[@WritinRealSlow]

Honestly yea.

[@sparklefulpaladin]

Yes!!!! Cad was one of the characters who really helped me figure out I'm aroace-spec.

[@ThatFinnBoy]

Hell yeah dude, good that someone is bringing these things up and standing up (and also, huge thanks for the recommendations/shout outs on aro/ace KZbinrs!) 🌻 another banger video

[@WritinRealSlow]

Glad to be of service ^_^

[@BondforgedSky]

Great video. Though I'm not aroace myself, I care very deeply about aroace people being seen as valid. Like, there's more to life than just being in an sexual/romantic relationship with someone. Also good point on the Alastor thing. I know we recently got confirmation that Octavia is ace, and I really hope it is acknowledged in future episodes of Helluva Boss.

[@joshuottmarcum8457]

I am asexual, a video game character I find as Ace is Lukas from Fire Emblem Echoes Shadows of Valentina. He has a support conversation with a character who is jealous of him from getting all the girls attention, in the second support, he is talking about a girl from his childhood that he liked but quickly lost attraction and how he never saw anyone else that way, in the final support the character he is supporting is telling him that it is normal to lack those feelings. I should also mention that this conversation is locked behind DLC.

[@WritinRealSlow]

Huh, I never knew that.

[@sylve2474]

Even with all the aspec rep videos I've seen,, I actually haven't heard of some of the shows mentioned here,,, I'm excited to check them out! (The legends of tomorrow thing was so nice🥺,, definitely gonna give that one a watch♡)

[@WritinRealSlow]

I'm really glad I could help introduce you to them!

[@SageAsuka]

The Wandersong background music brings me joy. But this is nice as an aroace. Especially the breakdown on Amatonormativity because...yeah that one is a huge problem. I very much remember writing ace characters in school but because, at the time, I didn't have resources to SAY they were ace everyone was immediately shipping the guy and girl together and I couldn't fathom why. I also couldn't fathom all throughout my life why I wasn't able to date or have a relationship. Had the assumption someone had to approach me first and then I would have 'the feelings' which is super silly in retrospect. But I grew up in ye early internet where I didn't even see the term asexual until I was mid 20s. I think the most hurtful thing I saw (because I missed the House fiasco) was when my sister was watching iCarly and they had an episode pointing out that another character hadn't had their first kiss. I remember doing my homework and pausing to watch because for once there was someone like me who hadn't dated or kissed because it felt like everyone else my age was capable of love and I wasn't. But then of course the 'solution' was to have him and another character kiss at the end and be shipping bait so the message I got was that I was still in the wrong. Has been the biggest weight off my shoulders being able to claim the aroace identity and realize I can just vibe with people I enjoy and that other people are also happy without a romantic or sexual relationship in their lives.

[@daemonium3210]

This was great! if you are wanting to look for more ace/aro rep in media though I recommend looking into podcasts/audiodramas like "the magnus archives" or " ars paradoxica" which both have ace main characters confirmed in show! as an ace/aro person it's really great to see stuff like this as well as find representation in the media I consume, keep up the good work mate :)

[@WritinRealSlow]

I know of the magnus archives, but this is the first I've heard of "ars paradoxica." Thanks for the recommendation :D

[@sophieweissberg3929]

as an asexual I FREAKING LOVE this video. its talked about beautifully and it makes me feel seen! keep doing what your doing and i hope you succeed!

[@WritinRealSlow]

I'm really happy I could make you feel that way ^_^

[@theownerofthisaccount2521]

I’m asexual(and possibly Cupiromantic or demiromantic. I want to be on a relationship but I don’t really understand what the feeling of romantic attraction actually is and both my relationships ended partly because I treated it more like a close friendship than anything romantic) and though I’m other things too, it’s the representation I want most of all because of how little there is and how misunderstood it is. I’ve seen many confuse Ace and Aro(not describing an Aroace but using the Aro definition when describing Ace) make it seem like this terrible thing or something that can be cured, or make it a reason someone is a villian(though I’m fine with asexual or Aroromantic villians if it’s a separate thing from them being a villian) but sometimes you get amazing representation. For the longest time I didn’t even know what asexuality really was because many told me it either was no attraction in general(on all scales) or that it didn’t exist and that it was confusion. Todd from Bojack Horseman was the first time I saw an asexual person just be treated like anyone else while also informing me a lot on the different forms asexuality can take. It’s one of many reasons I hold the show dear to me because it wasn’t afraid to have a full coming out story on a lesser known sexuality and did immense research on it. It’s also probably why five of my characters in my story are either asexual, Aroromantic, or both of some form now I think about it

[@seanmcfadden3712]

This video came up in my recommendations, and I want to thank you so much for it. I'm Asexual and Demiromantic, and you hit a lot of things that I have struggled explaining to Allosexual friends and relatives. I hope we get more representation in future. Oh! May as well add a couple of examples of Ace representation I've encountered. The Monster Prom franchise has at least 2 Ace characters. Coach and Kale Romero. Almost the characters are monsters (mostly humanoid), so they probably don't count as dehumanizing. The unfortunate part is you only get this information via a secret route you need to play through several times to unlock. Still, Kale is a great example as, though he has no interest in s*x or romance, he truly loves his friends and finds fulfilment in that. The other example I would like to point out is the web comic El Goonish Shive. The main cast include at least 2 gender fluid characters, a cis gay male, a cis lesbian, a bisexual homoromantic girl who is (due to magic shenanigans) technically both cis and trans, a panromantic ace, and a girl who is exploring her sexuality who is struggling with probably being Ace (more specifically Aegosexual/Autochristosexual, meaning experiencing sexual attraction while there is separation from the actual sexual activity). It is an awesome story, and has a great fan base.

[@_em.]

No. Asexuality is defined by a person experiencing little or no sexual ATTRACTION. When you define it as little or no sexual interest, you feed into the idea that all ace people have a negative relationship to sex. While many aces DO feel that way, the idea that you can't be ace and be involved in sexual or romantic relationships at the same time, erases actual aces who ARE in such relationships for whatever personal reasons they are in them (bonding with partner, bc they like how it feels, wanting to procreate, etc.) No sexual orientation is based on someone's relationship to sex. Not heterosexuality, not homosexuality. Every orientation is based on attraction. Asexuality is no different. Certain aces acting like the only "proper" ace rep is someone who is not interested in sex or romance, does the exact thing they claim to want to avoid. It erases aces. Yes, aces that aren't interested in sex and romance absolutely deserve rep. I would never say otherwise. But to say that an ace character being in a sexual or romantic relationship is acephobic or somehow bad, literally erases the aces that DO like sex and romance. All different types of aces can exist at the same time. It is not okay to act like aces can ONLY or should only be portrayed one way. Attraction is an internal feeling triggered by a person one finds sexually appealing. Having an interest or like of sex is not inherently tied to attraction. Attraction is not a prerequisite for having a positive view of or enjoyment of sex or romance. I'm just really tired of this narrative, ESPECIALLY when it comes to ace rep. Yes, there are many aces who feel uncomfortable by the idea of sex. But when the actor of jugghead was literally bullied into saying that the character is no longer ace in the show bc fans were mad that he was involved in a sexual relationship, when he could absolutely still be ace and in a sexual relationship, there's something seriously wrong with how asexuality is viewed at large.

[@LeafHasADHD]

I'm aromantic and hyperplatonic. I fall in love with my friends deeply. I remember one time, a friend broke down crying, and I was holding and comforting them while my wife waited outside in the car. Another person in the room told me that I was wrong for doing that, that my wife should be more important than my friends. I can't imagine that's actually how allos feel about their friends generally, but it was five years ago and I still think of that all the time.

[@WritinRealSlow]

I cannot understand that person's logic. I'm allo all the way and if someone I was dating expected me to leave my friend in misery because they were bored I wouldn't be dating them much longer.

[@makialk]

Thank you for the video, it was great, I just wanted to comment on a different opinion that other ace people (including myself) have on Alastor. As you said, ace rep is really rare, but being ace doesn't mean you don't want to be in a relationship or is sex repulsed. As someone who is ace yet wants to be in a relationship and is open to sex, I find a lot of comfort is seeing/reading about Alastor in similar situations. Yes, of course there's a bunch on fans who dgaf about his sexuality and just ignore it completely, but there's also plenty of content out there, especially fanfiction, that explores his asexuality in a sexual context. A lot of times ace characters are completely taken out of any sexual context whatsoever, which can be true to a lot of aces out there, but there's also a ton of us who have had plenty of sexual experiences and that kind of rep, the one of the ace who has had sex, specially with a partner they love and not "trauma", is EVEN more rare. So yeah, I didn't even ship radioapple, but when I found out the amount of fanfiction that explores that side or that simply explores asexuality IN a relationship and not isolated from it, I found myself reading and even ended up writing a few. I think that the way Alastor was written allows the fans to explore his sexuality in many ways, that might be completely sex-repulsed or non sex-repulsed, since a lot of us aren't. Being able to explore sex through an ace character that I love so much has been very important to me, I even dressed up as him, wrapped in an ace flag, for pride this year. Again, this is just my opinion as an ace person who does engage is Alastor ship content. I think its COMPLETELY valid to also not want to see him in any sort of relationship whatsoever, I personally would prefer if vivzie kept him out of relationships in canon as it doesn't make a lot of sense for his character, but that's what fandom spaces are for I guess.

[@WritinRealSlow]

I appreciate hearing your thoughts on it, thank you ^_^

[@makialk]

@@WritinRealSlow Thank you for listening to it!

[@KaidenZvek]

Attention people! Evasive here on KZbin just came out as asexual! Go watch her videos (she has an ace... themed(?) one)! She's really underated.

[@WritinRealSlow]

I've never even heard of evasive. What kind of content does she make?

[@KaidenZvek]

@@WritinRealSlow she mostly reviews "bad" movies and gathers different types of queer people to watch, react and provide commentary on them. For example, at one point she invited some transmascs to watch "she's the man" and at some other she had asexuals for "the 40 year old virgin". (She provides them with relevant snacks too.)

[@WritinRealSlow]

@@KaidenZvek huh, neat. I'll have to give her a look

[@rhymeswithmoose228]

In terms of aroace representation in video games, I highly, highly, highly recommend Ikenfell! It sort of takes a while to get there specifically, since it has a lot to go through and there isn't any sort of dating mechanic that would necessitate it becoming relevant (it's a linear rpg, fwiw), but the character in question has an arc around their friends' romantic pursuits that I found deeply touching.

[@WritinRealSlow]

I actually bought ikenfell and have it sitting on my desktop, ready to play. I just haven't gotten around to it because I went from bg3 to the elden ring dlc and haven't had the attention span for anything else. I'm looking forward to seeing what you mean though.

[@LadybugsOpin]

Thank you for this, as an aroace! It genuinely feels like most of our reps are swept under the rug or the orientation is ignored and the character ends up shipped with someone else anyways. I remember coming out to some coworkers once and they literally said "damn, I can't imagine not being able to feel emotions". I had to respond that there are more emotions than just horny. For example, I was feeling an emotion called 'anger' at the fact that they assumed I couldn't feel anything at all. They shut up after that, but that doesn't change the fact that that was their initial response. We need better representation! Also, I can't get over how much I love the fact that you were exclusively using the Wandersong ost as your bgm. That game is fantastic! And heck, the two main characters are able to say they love each other while even admitting to it being entirely platonic.

[@WritinRealSlow]

Honestly, your anger is valid. And yeah, wandersong is a great example of platonic love! The ost also just really fit the vibe I was going for, so I had to!

[@kaytionalexa]

Oh that reminds me, yesterday I’ve seen somebody claim that they don’t see the problem when it comes to sexualizing Jaiden Animations and Alastor (that in itself is a problem) People tried to tell them that Jaiden is a real person who expressed discomfort over that while Alastor (although fictional) is also a problem because it was brushed off as “Oh he’s fictional so it doesn’t matter” I don’t know dismissing their identities is very icky to me (it’s like the same people that brush off some fictional characters’ age because of the fictional excuse)

[@WritinRealSlow]

I think icky is the kindest thing you could call that person. I'd call them a ****ing creep, at the very least.

[@johnathancactus]

i feel like ace representation is far more common than aro or aroace representation… i’m not finished with the video, but i just wanted to share an observation i’ve made with the media i’ve seen :-] but! this video is awesome! i’m aroace and your aspec part was perfect!!! especially the talk about how it’s frowned upon!!! wonderful work!! also especially the part about having to settle for twt or hell, even headcanon! usually i have to “make my rep myself” which is very frustrating… esp in communities where people love to ship those characters and hc them as other sexualities… (not that they have mal intent, but seeing some of my favorite aroace hc characters be seen differently by most fans does make me a bit sad haha)

[@shukuchishikeishuu9540]

One live action aspec character done well who I'm surprised wasn't mentioned was Varys, from Game of Thrones. Since it's in a medieval fantasy setting, the term "asexual" wasn't used, as it wouldn't be widely known. However, the way they went about describing it basically confirms it, through the use of a fantastic conversation between Varys and Oberyn. They even dispute the potential claim that "he's only asexual because he's a eunich," both by having Varys say that he knew this about himself prior to his castration, and also by having another eunich character in the show--Grey Worm--be in an openly romantic and sexual relationship. Oberyn: "You did like boys, before..." Varys: (shakes head) Oberyn: "Really? Girls, huh? I hope you won't be offended when I say I never would have guessed." Varys: "Not at all. But I was never really interested in girls, either." Oberyn: "What, then?" Varys: "Nothing." Oberyn: "Everybody is interested in something." Varys: "Not me. When I see what desire does to people, what it's done to this country...I am very glad to have no part in it. Besides, the absence of desire leaves one free to pursue...other things." Obaryn: "Such as?" Varys: (glances at the Iron Throne)

[@WritinRealSlow]

Oh yeah, I remember varys. I considered talking about him, but I can't remember why I didn't.

[@Theresa-uj4le]

I feel like including a-spec characters who might be a-spec due to physiological or traumatic history is valid, it just takes a lot of care. Shows and stuff present this sort of a-spectrum as a joke or something a character needs to overcome to be their true self- meanwhile real people like this exist and take pride in who they are and don’t want this essential part of them to change just because Allos say they Have To. A diversity of representation will always be the strongest and blanket ‘no nos’ should be carefully considered

[@theflappyjack3917]

Mentioned this on a stream one time, but I Was A Teenage Exocolonist has, first of all, so much rep, it is quite literally a blue hair and pronouns game (you play as a character with blue hair and can customize your pronouns lol) it has Nomi-Nomi, they are explicitly stated as asexual, and Tangent, who seems be aromanitic or demi-romantic to some point, who can want to have sex with you before actually deciding to date you, and generally expressing very little romantic sentiment once dating her. Overally IWATE has so much rep, while all the date able characters are 'playersexual,' there are a couple situations in which those characters will enter queer relationships regardless of the played, there are some characters who are exclusively poly, and outside of dateable characters many different family types, at least 2 enby and 2 mtf trans characters (one of the trans girls transitions at the age of 9ish, which is considered totally normal) and none of it is treated strangely! (Please if you make a video about this game I will cry tears of joy I'm definitely not slightly obsessed) Great video, as usual! :)

[@WritinRealSlow]

Oh yeah, I remember you mentioning it a while back. I just added it to my steam wishlist, so I'll give it a try and maybe even do a stream of it some time!

[@dfghsjhjkasnjdbs]

TEENAGE EXOCOLONIST MENTION ??? i love tbid game sm 😭😭

[@amberjewell3894]

My favorite is frodo in lord of the rings! Possibly bilbo too. I love the deep (but not romantic) bond between frodo and sam. While it's never said in the movies, tolkien pointed out in the books how unusual it was for a hobbit to be single and not have a ton of kids.

[@goblinducky-huzzah]

Finally someone mentions the Alastor thing I didn't watch the show for a while until some friends showed it to me and not only was it very fun and good as everyone says but yes Alastor is awesome and very much deserving of the affection he gets from fans But boy does that affection get a bit much so quickly Shippers will be shippers, that will always be a reality, and there is no denying Alastor's charm, but his asexuality was explicitly stated Unfortunately it was still very blink and you'll miss it but when I tell you I literally cheered at the line? It's still important Folks on that spectrum deserve cool badass characters and the fact that he is so so SO shipped with other characters is just so hard to see personally Like folks, please, I get it he's cool, if you like the character please respect the important aspects of said character Just rough personally, but the world still turns

[@laraprisma6381]

Thank you for posting in the fandom sexualizing Alastor. As an asexual person, it makes me uncomfortable to see him being sexualized and shipped in the fandom, and I've been invalidated several times for being uncomfortable with this.... Also Vivzpop didn't say that it's ok to sexualize Alastor, she said that she has no problem with ships as long as it isn't weird, and to me that comes across as "don't disrespect the characters' sexuality or who they are in terms of relationships".

[@theownerofthisaccount2521]

Thank you as well! I always found it uncomfortable because even though I’m not a fan of Hazbin, this is one of our few Aroromantic and/or asexual characters in media and so him being the most sexualized feels like it’s undermining us or taking this away because it feels better to sexualize someone who doesn’t reciprocate? That’s creepy and weird

[@amaryllis543]

Not familiar with this fandom but I don't think people sexualizing/shipping a character is ever wrong, as long as they don't try to push it as cannon or argue that that's how the character should have been portrayed in the original media. I think fanart/fanfiction can be whatever you want it to be because it's just that, fiction. I'm asexual as well btw. Not trying to devalue your feelings here, just seeing a lot of comments like this and I'm not sure I agree.

[@laraprisma6381]

@@amaryllis543 is ok bud. I myself think there's nothing wrong with aro/ace characters being sexy but not sexual, after all, just because some of them don't like sex doesn't mean they can't serve! I just don't think Alastor is that type. even the summer art that Vivz did of him he is not sexualized while the other characters wear beach clothes. Viv said she made this art to show his hooves too lol.

[@nuclearcatbaby1131]

He's the only character whose sexuality is disrespected in canon. Angel hits on him, probably thought he was gay.

[@thymeIord]

BIG agree on Abbi Singh. I am ace and I think there was a lot of great opportunity to explore the ace experience of unwanted sexual attention - but what stuck out to me is that the show hardly spent any time on it and, in fact, towards the end her friends were shaming her for being "ashamed" of her power and not wanting to use it. It didn't seem like they knew where they wanted to take what was initially a brilliant idea, resulting in some mixed messaging that made me pretty uncomfortable watching some of those scenes.

[@WritinRealSlow]

yeah, it honestly felt like a waste of potential, as well as a generally confused message.

[@gljames24]

Lesser know is the Aplatonic community/spectrum. We have a hard time relating to the concept of friendship even if we are extroverted or otherwise allosexual or alloromantic.

[@cartoonhyperfixated]

Im aroace and I really appreciate this video and feel seen, you covered a lot involving the topic you’re so underrated 😭💗

[@WritinRealSlow]

Thank you! I'm glad I could help you feel seen ^_^

[@Squishy_the_fox]

Im actually Aro/ace. Im completely Asexual and demiromantic, as well as bi. I love Alastor and Lilith. Even if I don't fully relate to them.

[@eveecco]

I'm surprised there wasn't mention of The Magnus Archive's Jonathan Sims. He is basically the main character of the podcast and while he does fall into the category of 'being stated as ace without using the term' it is stated by his ex-girlfriend that he "just wasn't interested" in regards to sex. It was the first real asexual rep I'd seen in media. When I joined the fandom I thought it was just headcanon, and I was ecstatic when it was revealed to be just canon.

[@Ellie_09]

There's also the problem with people Infantilizing ace or aro characters and treating it as a childish thing, it happens the most with characters being headcanoned as ace or aroace, but it's still annoying because they're still one of our few types of representations and people are using it as another excuse to make a character seem childish!

[@WritinRealSlow]

yeah, I've never understood that tendency, it comes across as extremely patronizing.

[@shukuchishikeishuu9540]

That’s what I found really neat about Alastor being ace. Man was a serial killer in life and death, infantalizing HIM is only really possible via misinterpreting the source material, not knowing/understanding him as a character, or treating headcanons qs canon.

[@monster-enthusiast]

A little note about "part 1.75," while it's correct to say that asexuality as a whole isn't caused by a disorder or trauma, if someone DOES lose their attraction because of such things, I think it's fine for them to call themselves asexual. Cuz by definition, it's true, and they can still benefit and find resources by engaging with the community. I'm in the asexual subreddit a LOT and most of us don't care if you "became" asexual. The people that do care are exclusionists. I just wanted to point that out, because the energy you used was kind of a "don't EVER align these two things" which seems too black and white to me. People who lose their attraction for whatever reason are already going to be ostracized by their peers, and the people who feel the same (a-specs), don't need to do that to them too. Solidarity always.

[@Irishxlily]

Yea I agree. People can often relate to the 'asexual experience' without being ace themselves, and they should feel welcomed in our ranks if the want. Helk they can identify as ace if they want to as well.

[@onyxcat146]

This was I great video. I’m a spec and I really enjoyed learning about more representation in media. Also I’m not sure how to feel about the Alistor situation. On the one hand I think it’s ok for people to be attracted to him that’s just how attraction works. it’s the pushing that onto him and real life ace people and the lack of respect towards his identity that I have a problem with. Especially since the character seems to be repulsed by those activities. That level of invalidation wouldn’t be ok for other LGBT identities so why is it ok here? As for shipping, i think amatanormativity is really kicking peoples butts 😂. Doesn’t help that we’ve been socialized to see romantic love as the be all end all. Like it’s fine if you want him to have a close bond with someone but that bond doesn’t have to be romance or sexual in nature to be deep. At least to me, different forms of love aren’t inherently hierarchical. They exist on separate (and sometimes intersecting) lines with closeness being a separate axis. There are ways of giving him deep bonds with others without invalidating his identity. These are just my thoughts though.

[@WritinRealSlow]

I appreciate hearing our thoughts! And I'm really glad you enjoyed the video!

[@CaptainLightner]

i get and agree with the nonhuman ace autistic and enby things but also, as someone who is those things i really like those characters, possibly because i do identify as some kind of nonhuman, i dunno. ita complicated and theres like a load of intersectionalitu and whatever.

[@alliwolf3627]

Same, I like those nonhuman characters, I just wish they weren't the only ones

[@welcometothedollhaus]

thankyou for the nice thing.

[@WritinRealSlow]

You're very welcome, I'm glad I could give it to you ^_^

[@sam7559]

As an Ace person I do not want Ace characters to be given infinite plot armor because people on Tumblr and X are going to complain. If the story would be more dramatic because of their death, have the character die.

[@WritinRealSlow]

tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BuryYourGays

[@sam7559]

@WritinRealSlow the response isn't to coddle ace characters, it's to treat them just like cishet characters.

[@MillyKKitty]

The most ace representation I have ever found is from manga. One of my favourites, which has also gotten an anime adaptation is Bloom Into You. It has 3 characters who belong in the aspec spectrum but I won't go deep into it for the surprise 🤫 Another good one is Our Dreams At Dusk, with an aroace character who sadly isn't doing much despite being pretty important for the main characters situation. There is also I Want To Be a Wall, which I want to read. It is about an aspec woman being married to a gay man. Other honorable mentions I haven't read are -Mine-kun is Asexual -Is love the answer? -Sensitive Boys -Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon And lastly a classic NON-manga book I need to read is Loveless with I think an aroace main character. Let me reitorate, NOT the manga, the book. Loveless of the same name is absolutely awful as a manga.

[@WritinRealSlow]

Thanks for the recommendations, I'll give them a look!

[@AmbrosiaMooshine]

This is an amazing video I loved it :)

[@LeafHasADHD]

Idk if Dusa from Hades counts as aro or ace. She's a romanceable character, that ends with her saying she wants a close friendship with Zag, which could be aro or could be uninterested in Zag that way

[@WritinRealSlow]

I don't think the developers necessarily intended her to be aro/ace, but I think it's good if people can see themselves in her. I personally interpreted it as her confusing one form of love for another, which is pretty common, I could see it either way.

[@honeyshuckle9742]

Hey! As a person who loves outer wilds, I have to point out a small correction, the game you are talking about is The outer worlds. Yes it is confusing, but it's an important clarification. Outer wilds tackles a lot of issues, but asexuality is not within the scope of it. (Spoken as an Asexual person)

[@WritinRealSlow]

Ah crap, thanks for the correction! I actually wrote down the right game and I STILL said it wrong.

[@octohunter7775]

As a sex-repulsed (aro?)ace, I find the immense sexualization of Alastor (as well as other such characters who fall under representation) SO GODDAMN ANNOYING. I get that it doesn't bother everyone, but it pisses me off. Also it hasn't been confirmed but I highly suspect WX-78 from Don't Starve as being Asexual. They are a robot, and tend to hate (almost) all organic life, and are shown to be repulsed by biological functions (except maybe blood).

[@nuclearcatbaby1131]

What's fucked up is that everybody is doing b whether hes aro or not but nobody is concerned about whether or not he's sex repulsed. He strikes me as sex repulsed, at least when it comes to gay sex. As for romantic attraction, as an ace myself I don't understand how that differs from a platonic or queerplatonic relationship if you take sex or at the very least sensuality out of the equation.

[@WritinRealSlow]

Yeah, I read him as sex repulsed as well. And honestly, it's hard to explain where the line is drawn, since people tend to enmesh sex with the idea of romantic love so much. I could only really explain how I define love, but even that would only make things slightly less vague at best.

[@nuclearcatbaby1131]

@@WritinRealSlow Is it like when little kids who haven't gone through puberty yet have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Are they old enough to know their romantic orientation at that age?

[@logananderson7881]

Aloy from Horizon zero Dawn, is Ace, i think. She likes strong smart women with ambition but she likes their brains not bodies.

[@phoenixnight9237]

I thought the title said 'asexual reproduction' lol.

[@WritinRealSlow]

another very interesting topic, to be sure

[@hanadunn7297]

Is it bad that I am watching content from the Aro-Ace community to help me understand them?

[@WritinRealSlow]

No, not at all; it shows good initiative. Being willing to seek out information and keep an open mind is one of the best ways to be an ally.

[@hanadunn7297]

@ you’re very welcome

[@Ere_Tobi]

Unfortunately, I see many people stating that the voice of Alastor had to correct himself after saying Alastor is aroace and meant ace. It feels like the creator has succumb to fan service and has completely ignored the aromantic part of him just so the fandom doesn’t go bonkers because they can’t ship him with anyone. It’s sad and personally pisses me off losing that representation when it’s so clearly seen in the show.

[@Ere_Tobi]

Also I’d like to add for video games that in Hades, there are three characters you can form a (usually) romantic bond with, one, Dusa, when telling her your feelings, she explains her feelings for the main are not romantic but wishes to still be platonic.

[@Irishxlily]

Please be careful when defining asexuality and aromantasism. You said they have little to no INTEREST, when it should be little to no ATTRACTION. Saying its about interest implies that ace or aro people can never enjoy or seek out sex or romantic relationships. Asexuals can enjoy the idea of sex or like participating in it themselves. Who you find attractive is separate from whether someone is sex repulsed, neutral, or positive, and that goes for all sexual orientations, not just asexual.

[@SnowRaver-p2v]

KZbin is cooked

[@rio_m2375]

I never liked a video this fast 🧡💛🤍💙

[@WritinRealSlow]

I'm sorry you weren't blessed with good taste :3

[@rio_m2375]

@@WritinRealSlow huh? I don't understand? I liked the Video because you said that AroAce people and all people on the ace Spektrum are valid , and if you don't agree with that , that those people should click of the Video. I liked the Video because as a Aroace person myself, I felt apriciated.... but I don't get why I don't have good Taste now...

[@WritinRealSlow]

@@rio_m2375 sorry, I mistook that for a snide comment on how fast I talk. I apologize for being so rude