LET THEM MISS YOU - Stop Chasing and do THIS Instead

www.andrewvanh... - I offer 1:1 coaching! My passion is helping people free themselves from their inner limitations - specifically those around self-worth. If you're on the journey of freeing yourself and letting go, I'd love to help guide you
So often when we find ourselves missing our ex, wanting their attention, feeling lonely - we are embodying the energy of lack and scarcity. When we act out of this energy, we actually have the opposite effect of the one we intend - rather than getting the person to feel closer to us, we actually PUSH them further away.
In this video we discuss how by drawing your focus back onto yourself, you can genuinely improve your life AND quite possibly get your ex back at the same time.

[@classactracing]

Too many people out here using manipulative or deceptive tactics to try to gain an emotional or psychological advantages in a relationship. One should focus on themselves to strive to be better. Not learn tactics to cheat the system. These games could manifest in various ways, such as sending mixed signals, being inconsistently affectionate or distant, or deliberately creating confusion or doubt. The best way to “beat” mind games is not to play. Recognize the manipulation for what it is and assert your boundaries. Open and honest communication can be a powerful tool. Clearly express how his actions are affecting you and what you will not tolerate.

[@cerico76]

@@classactracing this is so true, but not easy to apply, especially when your ex for al lot of years devalue you and your self esteem is that low…

[@wockbear]

Blocked my ex everywhere yesterday to quit playing the games. She got in to a new relationship and still kept talking to me. Asking about my relationship ALOT which was odd. Complaining if I didn’t reply, complaining how I didn’t start any conversations. Also when I was quite mad and said I want nothing to do with her, she became very manipulative and relaxed. Talked me over it, however now finally I didn’t even talk to her. Blocked and see how it will go! I hope everyone best recovery and remember only thing that lasts forever with you, is yourself.

[@cerico76]

@@wockbear it sound like she is a rebound relationship, but I am not sure man, I am no one to talk about it. 😅 I don’t have this problem, my ex disappear completely and We have a son together. 🤔

[@wockbear]

@@cerico76 Yes it is a rebound. However after all of this I was told she done this to many people. I am sorry to hear about the complete disappearance. I am in the opposite situation because I decided to disappear. It’ll all be well not maybe today or tomorrow but time heals the best

[@cerico76]

@@wockbear It will. But It takes time. Also yesterday I saw her with him, as soon as she saw me, (they were arm to arm), she left his arm straight away, I couldn’t sleep all night… It is hard.. but we’ll get through it.

[@bradygorman6510]

Man, blew money on several months of therapy and “Ex Back” programs and your videos finally snapped me out of it. Ready to move on (and see if I can get some refunds lol)

[@bigvictory143]

happens to the best of us 😂

[@kuchiku-kanzo759]

Heres what helps me go no contact. Delete her number. Delete all texts. Im good at leaving. However im stuck at the finding myself part

[@andrewvanhoff]

That part is definitely the most challenging, but also the most rewarding! Just keep working at it one step at a time!

[@eternallyviv]

Nobody finds themselves.its a hoax. They just find some peace. Workout. And they are back on someone else after building some abundance of options.

[@andr3aj4ck5on]

throughout my breakup the best thing my therapist had me grasp was the idea of expectations vs reality. similar to your experience, i came to the realization of just how clingy i was and how every word he said i held onto. its almost as if i created a false reality/ idea of what the realtionship was. each time i found myself disappointed in them when i was disappointed that the ideas and scenarios I created in my head did not come to reality. i had put him on a pedestal which is very unhealthy and unfair to him. i could talk about this for hours lol.

[@Gunners1886_CH]

It's great that your therapist allowed you to reflect on your behavior and discover ways in which you can improve going forward. That being said, don't put all the blame on, what I would assume, your anxious attachment style and yourself. It takes two to tango and if you've been different in previous relationships, some of that anxiousness might be the result of your own needs not having been met by your partner. Don't disregard or invalidate your own needs altogether, they're just as valid as his.

[@ELMcenter]

Yeah.. I’ve so done this 🤍 It’s so awesome that you dug deep and learned. That’s amazing

[@cerico76]

@@andr3aj4ck5on Same here, same thing. She devalue me , an my self esteem went to the lower point One day, when I’ll be ready I will tell her. We have a son together I cannot avoid this forever.

[@nataliagonzalez6745]

How have things occurred since then? Did you back away and let him have space in addition to dedicating more time to yourself? Did he ever reach back out and show renewed interest?@@andr3aj4ck5on

[@nataliagonzalez6745]

What was the end result for you and he

[@MrRomero161]

Thank god it's not a video on how to manipulate someone else to get back together. It really helps me the idea of thriving, realization and, with no mind games or manipulative shit, probably, no one knows, she'll be getting back, or you'll fin someone else eventually. In both cases, you're gonne be better, better version of yourslef and better at handleling the present and the relationship.

[@thepuffin-ss9ln]

This really spoke to me. I had a 5 yr relationship end some months back and it was really tough. Mostly because it was really cold and no closure at the end. I really started to realize and even said to myself that the hardest part of the breakup was the loss of the future i thought i had with this person. I definetly probably tried too hard to save it at the end and had a hard time letting go for quite some time. It's hard when you're in the middle of it with your feelings To not push that person further. Because you feel like if you could just say the right thing or express the right feeling. It would change the situation, but a lot of times like you said it just pushes it further away.

[@PabloTube69]

Bro your videos are saving me right now! I can’t even begin to count how many “oooff” moments I’ve had from the things you’ve said.

[@AminaAzzmouri]

I've come to the realization that the more youtubers make videos on the same topic, the better we could absorb it & see how it's shaped in our own realities. Thank you Andrew

[@teok8855]

This video is so wise and helpful, and the words in it are out of reach for most people. You explain things in a way thats not logic centric but you use emotions and feelings much like an artist.

[@Freedomandspice]

I love this advice. Unfortunately some people won’t get there in a matter of a few weeks, but if people give themselves grace, and time to reflect, eventually they can get to this point. People are dealing with so many different insecurities, traumas and dysfunctional relationship dynamics that makes it difficult for them to arrive at this point. Great video! Thanks for putting out this perspective out there. More authenticity and less manipulation.

[@boxguytv]

i realize how toxic and gross i was being with a girl i was dating, i knew i was being too clingy but your outside verbalization makes me realize i was wrong

[@DivayDiveIn]

This is exactly what I needed. Whatever you just said, it's how I have been acting and I'm glad I came across your channel. No more manipulation. It's funny how we believe that the other person was bad during the break up, whereas we ourselves had a major part that we played in it. I am going to own up to my own mistakes and work on them for better future. God bless you man. You are a friend that everyone needs.

[@65ramjith]

The best thing to do is , Do No fap and love Christ as your first love and pray everyday and things will change, you never want anyone in your life other than Jesus. You will be more attractive you to people and whoever leave you let them go , if they really wanna stay they will make a way to stay your life. Like he said , clingy ,neediness , stress , anxiety all will go once you have done no fap and stay with god ...

[@lattipatterson]

Amen!! You are absolutely right, the second I decided to surrender and put GOD first place in my life, I felt an immediate sense of wholeness and peace. I stopped ruminating about people and stopped obsessing… I’m also happy to enjoy my own company!

[@DiariesOfaPhOenixRiSinG]

Thank you so much, I'm new to your channel. I'm currently studying energy dynamics in relationships, law of assumption, etc....and ive been on this journey of manifestation. Your point of view of I think it's pretty much stoicism is great. You helped me to get over my toxic trait of ignoring. NC sucks, especially when it's for months on end. I need to detach, I have an anxious attachment style (LOA would say to claim I have a secure attachment style) Still need to do some inner work, but I'm getting there. I replied, I'm not going to play the ignore game... its a strangeeee dynamic my person and I have. We can't stop thinking about each other, no matter what we do. It's been almost 2 years since I met him (online). I almost wish I could fall in love with someone else. Self concept work is the key. 👌

[@westouchstone9370]

Is it weird that I'm more confident about my ex's and my future after watching this than all the other break up coaches. They all say the same exact thing anyway.

[@saranamayash3895]

This is the truth I didn't want to hear, thank you

[@Caramelinfused]

Neediness is the wordy feeling ever declutter your mind and free yourself from want to know outcomes just life try by all means to find happiness in your own existence ❤

[@rp7710]

Understanding this could make everybody a better person. Keep up please ❤

[@brianbak6405]

This talk is way too underrated! You hit the nail on the head.! Thank you for putting this in to words.! It’s strange that some of us have brains 🧠 that tend towards construct this illusion! I believe it has something to do with energy.! You can become so cooked down in lovemaking and having sex with that person that you loose reality in a way.! It’s like fucking drugs 😮‍💨 like back in the rave days. You end op in that 3mounth relationship with some girl on ecstasy. And you absolutely have no clue of who that person is. Just fucking and lovemaking 😂 maybe it’s best if you build in some going clean period in relationships? Then you can naturally tjek in to baseline reality. Fun fact is. That when you get out! Like now of 30 days No contact. I become aware of sense of me! I like me. My time my stuff. My hobbies. And you see the person is not what you thought they were. ! 😮‍💨 like in matrix movie. Don’t get court op in the lady in the red dress neo

[@RobbiJamesVogt]

My friend. You are one of the best on KZbin at this time. Keep it up! Thanks

[@madalinmd1119]

I feel like I need to listen thist 10 times at least, it's so hard to comprehend :( there are so many things that I do without being aware man, such as: - waiting for them to reply while being super anxious, but I am totally convinced that I have a secure attachment. -for now it's either I don t want them on long term and everything it's fine or I want them on long term and everything goes to shit

[@theemclane4037]

Man you talk like you can read my mind

[@remusvisan]

Your videos are really good, very good advice, thank you I really appreciate it. I feel good after watching, very helpful😀

[@scottellison6870]

3 months into a very intense relationship that started off chatting via messenger every 10 mins of ever hour every day, then the chemistry was insane in person, but once ut settled and we became 'together', we planned out a whole future together and then...she felt overwhelmed by it all a d kept needing soace to breathe and have time to herself and i found myself feeling so rejected that i tried harder and she pulled further away, so id get angry and pull her on her 'behaviour' and we'd argue. Shed get further away and we'd generally only see each other when she was hungover and feeling like crap. And when i didn't feel seen and neglected cos she felt like crap, id tell her and she'd go into shut down mode. Then she ended it. I just had to live and let her live cos she wasn't going anywhere till i made her go somewhere. Now im devastated

[@rita.s232]

Awesome explanation.. Thanks so much for breaking down how and why to let go in such a simple manner.. ♥️♥️

[@TheSnoozeFox]

Don't care if its manipulation, because manipulation and toxicity is the only way I have ever been able to get a womans respect. I tried being vuneravle, emotionally avaliable, and they friendzoned and drove me to almost ending it before.

[@LonjeMarie7]

This was helpful and excellent thank you very very much like you said live your life genuinely don’t be trying to post on social media now this other crap just genuinely go on with your life and be happy like you said it’s manipulative

[@andrewvanhoff]

Exactly! It's so much more attractive to be in your own lane, and if that involves posting cool stuff on social media, that's fine! But it needs to be genuine! If you're doing it for the validation of others or to make people jealous, you're just giving your own power away

[@zachfeez]

The cold truth is that as much as we can “stay true to ourselves” if you know anything about female nature after giving her space you mentioned she was happy. See the problem is we think the world revolves around our selves. And you can use this to your advantage because a women’s world IS her emotions. Relationships are containers of servant hood and service. Gathering data and practice for a marriage and a marriage is a business decision . In business as a sole proprietor you have to make decisions that best serves the vision of your company. Often we as men have no standard or intention on the energy we let into our lives from the opposite sex and quite frankly they don’t give a shit about our feelings, and having anxiety is a red flag. This isn’t the 90s or early 2000s people are hypersensitive & “I can give myself everything thing I need” as a narrative seriously couldn’t be further from the truth. If we could meet all of our own needs we wouldn’t be here. There would be no need for humans. We fundamentally need eachother and need community. We all just want to play victim and isolate into our Internet world. So the real challenge is having the discernment and accountability to educate yourself on female nature and how to get the respect you’re looking for. Essentially how to integrate through mind body and soul - new behavior - that actually works and gives you a life and the options in the sexual market place that you desire. We are in a broken world and we need to humble ourselves to the truth around us. Get out of our victim mindsets and integrate the hate we have for ourselves and people with a reservoir of grace that is honest about our needs and then articulates them to our potential mates. “Hey, I really need your assurance on this. I’m hoping with more time and more re assurance- I’m going to build confidence in that area. “ “ hey I had a long day. Can you hold me?” Lol yes it sounds nuts but I feel like sometimes it’s that simple. We have these layers of shame on top of layers of anger and self oppression. We must integrate those things with a love like the one god gives us in full grace and allow ourselves to see ourselves as we are. Self condemnation only creates oppression. Good luck to all. Thanks for this channel and to allow me to vent. Blessings

[@arekgrzybek6164]

Thank you !!! Thank you !!! Thank you !!!

[@basmalm202]

thank you, you are literally a life saver.

[@jonathanvermillion7263]

Love how you said this

[@64rustyjets]

Enlightened kid.

[@richmckeemusic]

So good man 👏

[@cerico76]

What about a 25 years story? I think it has to be more than this.

[@epicperspective]

So sorry :( that has to be so hard. Mine was 3 years and I'm in pieces. Praying for you.

[@cerico76]

@@epicperspective Thanks

[@leomendez3159]

damn i needed this video a year ago

[@jonathanvermillion7263]

Helpful thank you

Everybody on earth has self doubts. If you put a person higher on the pedestal than they see themselves, they will say to themselves this guy is even less interesting than I am. Bye bye. Give them space and cut back on the compliments. Too many Compliments project need and need is a huge turnoff.

[@JonathanRobinson11]

This is good.

[@9i6epe3a]

Thank you very much

[@eleonoraivanova-kd2zb]

Thank you 😊

[@cecirivera7]

Gracias!

[@jeffreypaszko3473]

Up to this particular video I engoyed Andrews talks , this one on the other hand seems all over the place .While I agree that we must develop our own inner life and stop being needy ,it is not manipulative ,a word he over uses in this video , to care for and try and stay in touch with someone you were once connected to . I think my overall impression is , he needs to take a chill pill . Taking down the presentation a notch will make it easier to listen to . He sounds desperate in my opinion...

[@Landad_]

I was in this place but the same time the girl I was with was actually distant and I ignored red flags. I created a potential future of us in our head based on the few breadcrumbs she gave me overall she was neglectful, and a liar and I ate up the good parts