#1 NARCISSISM Expert: Are You Dealing With A Narcissist!? Watch Out For THESE SIGNS! w/ Dr. Ramani

[@lewishowes]

Thanks to the Dr. Ramani for sharing her expertise! Leave a “YES” if you enjoyed this and share the biggest moment for you. And make sure to subscribe to never miss out on inspiring content like this again KZbin.com/lewishowes

[@Anoppinion]

She saved my life❤

[@ashton1952]

Yes, great interview. Dr Ramani has the most incredible insight and knowledge in this area, thank you 🫶

[@nataliabosque-cl5cd]

Gracias Lewis ahora la traducción en español please. Gracias

[@DominionAnako-bb7ry]

I appreciate it

[@faibamohamed9282]

Incredible interview

[@evathiessen2244]

Being in a narcissistic relationship is like dying a slow and painful death...

[@jenniferbailey5914]

I relate it to emotional water boarding.

[@inesen1391]

100% agreed

[@TM-zb8nq]

And being told you are problematic because you’re dying is bothering them in some way

[@SuzannaLiessa]

​@@TM-zb8nq YES. Thank you for articulating that.

[@inesen1391]

@Jennifermcintyre personally, I think that is how it is, That's what I felt

[@JoleneCorry]

You are tricked into thinking you've found your soulmate when actually you've met the person who will be the cause of some of the lowest moments in your life 😔

[@mitzicrowder2186]

They are familiar spirits aren't they

[@lorraimclean1735]

I’ve repeated that 10?20? Times too many😊

[@cwcolletti7163]

The weirdness is how they can move about along that narcissistic continuum; back and forth just randomly enough that there is no discernable pattern established. All of your "if then" internal statements are disabled.

[@Numberonelifecoach]

If you can say no without getting pushback, set a boundary without being met with anger/manipulation, and feel safe when you’re feeling unwell and vulnerable, you’re probably with someone who is pretty emotionally intelligent and healthy.

[@kalaoahaole]

Where they at though? Haha!

[@mogznwaz]

@@kalaoahaoleMy thoughts exactly!!

[@Me_di]

@@kalaoahaoleexactly

[@LOVEISTRUTH300]

💖💖💖

[@Jessica-J.ones.]

Yeah when you get sick and they dissappear or they claim to be way sicker than you actually are and when they're sick they need round the clock care. Huge red flag.

[@ljrockstar69]

Be careful who you let into your life! Always be vigilant!

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

observe their actions, not just words!

[@dennyfie]

Heck I let a high school love back into my life after 45 years,wow did I get a un- wanted lesson.i was so content with my life,what a head game she was.Glad she is gone,too much stress.

[@BBBGGG9647]

True but sometimes they're in your life from birth...I had a mother and an older sister, try living with that especially when they would group together. Unfortunately took me a long time to realise they were narcissists.

[@chelseabrina]

Not easy when it's one of your parents

[@ljrockstar69]

@@chelseabrina go no contact, delete and block them.

[@768Random]

It’s hard to tell on the first date because a lot of narcissists are on their best behavior until they feel like they’ve got you hooked

[@homespace1268]

They always make a great first impression. Then you'll notice they are arrogant and think too highly of themselves, they are very competitive and have to be the best, smartest, have to always win. Their true colors come out when they get mad at you then will run away, give silent treatment, gossip about you, grasping at straws to insult you any way they can, get hysterical and unhinged, blame you for everything, refuse to ever apologize because they are perfect and can never be wrong, hold grudges and act vindictive.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

I was groomed, by my narcissistic dad, since i was a kid, to go along with his sick games. I refuse, now. Too bad for him!

[@terryellis7692]

Yass!! Sometimes they're on their best behavior until the wedding night

[@sunnyvibez5062]

Tell them no. Discuss a topic. Stick to your boundaries. They will reveal themselves before the 1st date.

[@dennyfie]

​@@homespace1268so true.

[@cg5562]

" you are not broken, it is not your fault, you will be loved"

[@lewishowes]

🧡

[@mattie7965]

oh I am broken 😢

[@gardenbaby1]

YES! Biggest moment: hearing that not forgiving someone who continues to destroy people’s sense of safety does not mean I am a bitter person 🙏

[@suzanne2680]

I could listen to this woman all day.

[@lewishowes]

Thanks for being here!

[@dawnpatterson681]

Me and you both. It's fascinating that Dr Ramani has brought to light what I've been dealing with for the last 20 years.

[@lovinglifehealth]

Me the last 50. I’m so grateful for Dr Ramani, in sharing free and helpful information that’s right on time to bring forward our healing , she is a gift to humanity. ❤🙏

[@jomartin6209]

Same

[@brendaschwieterman1350]

She is the finest at making you feel heard and understood. God bless her.❤

[@alexandra2536]

I think the main reason we get stuck with a narcissist is a saviour complex. The Light wants to heal the Dark and does not give up hope. Some angels are using us. But I gave up. I'm not a Saviour anymore. It's time for myself to enjoy the Light with peace and love .

[@sukhk4097]

Wow.. I felt that ! That has been me till now. But I don't want to be one from now on !

[@annatetiad.4991]

Never fall in love with someone's "potential." They are what they are.....Resist rescuing

[@IntrospectiveWoman]

AMEN sister!!! I can 10000% relate to your beautifully put statement!! ❤❤

[@alexandra2536]

@@IntrospectiveWoman Thank you ! Blessings 😇

[@cynthiaescobar3762]

Exactly😊

[@jenniferbailey5914]

After 40 years of NPD abuse I will never ever trust a human every again. I will also never forget. I love my dog because I trust him.

[@sarahviktoria8494]

I totally understand this.

[@ShivaLadiva-sb9nw]

Why shouldnt we find solace in these sweet animals rather than go through destructive drama again? Why does society admire human romantic relationships so much though they are too often a source of pain?

[@janiemiller825]

Animals are the best 🐕 🐱 💕

[@kdworak4754]

​@ShivaLadiva-sb9nw it's because we have been programmed to want emotional love. When in reality, true love is dispassionate. Emotional love is mamas love aka Satan's love. God's love is truth. There is no highs and no lows. If you knew true love, a narcissist would be unable to affect you in anyway. The first time the narc struck you'd end it without emotion. Yeah i know you ain't trying to hear the truth. But be certain that the neg feeling u get by reading this is your evil. Imagine how evil you have to be to try to make it work with a narc just because they are 'perfect for you' in some way. Most of you ladies seek this out.

[@brentcharles8444]

Ditto...40 years! "Burn it Down!" Start again- "I am the gray rock"

[@Sovall888]

You know when the relationship is good when you try to find excuses to break up but can't find any. Instead when the relationship is toxic your making excuses in your head for staying.

[@ladyeleanneb9433]

So True thx

[@skinnurse5665]

Damn!!!!😮😮😮

[@thomasjennings2790]

So very true well spotted

[@Poodleinacan]

It feels like a dream... My only relationships that could have come close to this did not last long (for various reasons)... But then, in many relationships, the cracks start to show a few months down the line.

[@Adrian-cd2tl]

So true

[@kav1t4]

THANK YOU Doctor Ramani! I was molested as a toddler by my mother's sister and my mother is still in good contact with her sister and blatantly expected (DEMANDED) me to forgive and forget (WITHOUT ANY ACKNOWLEDGEMENT NOR APOLOGY). That is something I WILL NEVER FORGIVE my mother for!

[@alanaadams7440]

You can forgive but you don't have to forget

[@johannevanderghote7577]

❤ may be it helps if you understand that people only can act on the level of their own consciousness ... ❤❤❤

[@Rambutan.]

I dont believe in forgiving people for those types of things. Anger is a sacred feeling that is there to protect you from further harm. Like how pain teaches you not to keep picking up a hot cup. Also, forgiving someone for that... just simply makes no sense. It is unforgivable. I hope you have found some inner peace for yourself. I'm very sorry that you've had to cope with what that horrible person did. I'm very sorry. Your mum doesn't deserve your time or energy.

[@lizwilliamson8332]

Oh my god that is horrific! Poor wee child. It’s absolutely understandable that you would never forgive such a betrayal! You are NOT required to forgive behaviour which is unforgivable. Stay loyal to your inner child and care for that wee inner child 🙏 🕊 ❤

[@ShaareiZoharDaas]

​@@lizwilliamson8332 true there are unforgivable acts , in that situation the person has to forgive THEMSELVES.

[@ianmaem]

Forgiveness is sometimes societal pressure when you're not really ready to forgive. And narcissists don't even value it deep inside. Dr Ramani shines again in this interview.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

Society(some members) expect me to forgive and forget, repeatedly, also known as letting him off the hook. They enable him. It is pathetic. Dad is my narcissist. He expects to bet let off the hook, that is wrong!

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

Thanks!

[@lorebay2593]

😢Been there, done that suffered 😔for years, kids grown and I'm gone, I forgave over and over, but now no longer will be in relationship and I feel better being able to say no more and mean it.😅😅🎉

[@SallyVillafane]

I don't forgive 'The Devil's!😡😡

[@MegaMisfit138]

Forgiveness is the way you can let go of the anger within you. It's for you, not them. Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to forget, or stay with that person. I forgive, but I still can't stand him, and I want karma to catch up with him tenfold! 😂 Narcs are really demons in skin suits! But evil feeds off negative energy, so if your negative energy is gone, they have nothing to feed off, and then they die! When I saw him to get my belongings, a month after leaving, he looked like he aged 10 years! Even with his new supply! My friend says he looks like a crack head!

[@goodguy630]

I had a relationship with a narcissist that only lasted two months but in that short amount of time, my feelings of self-worth were seriously injured. That was three years ago and I'm still healing. Looking back, knowing what I know now, every sign of toxic behavior was there. It's true that grief takes time, but in that time, that's three years of my being vigilant and making sure it never happens again. Always be careful with who you let into your life in the first place!

[@valorideekon7716]

Forgiveness works if the abuse stops. But when it just keeps continuing … the only way to find peace is to get this toxic person out of your life forever. I pre-ordered Dr Ramani’s book. She is quite literally an Angel amongst us.

[@lewishowes]

Thanks for being here!

Indeed she is.

[@sereene_care646]

Yes, she is.

[@LOVEISTRUTH300]

Yes. I call her an angel on Earth💖💖💖

[@lightlove167]

Agree with her 200% with the not needing to forgive … she’s amazing ❤

[@seattlepeaches936]

That is ungodly and is not right! That’s like God (Jesus) saying he does NOT do give you for what you have done! Let he who is without sin cast the first stone! That would be NO ONE! Because no one is perfect! No One and that is why we need grace and mercy from God! You CAN forgive and then move on! holding on to grudge and anger is mentally, emotionally and spiritually unhealthy and will drag YOU down not them!

[@l4l414]

​@seattlepeaches936 you sound like a narcissist!

I feel that. Im just not sure she's saying all that.

[@Macgee826]

​@@l4l414they're so obvious it's funny

[@queenie8677]

So refreshing to hear that i dont need to forgive. And its ok. I just move on. Out of sight out of mind. And its okay…❤️

[@jvw418]

Love her take on forgiveness. Spot on and she should write a book on that alone.

[@lewishowes]

🙏

[@poojashekhar-ms4zw]

yupp!!

[@synesthesiafilms]

"Empaths, they don't monopolise the conversation." Spot on..

[@Jessica-J.ones.]

Yes! He controls every conversation and turns every conversation toward him and carries on for hours, non-stop and if you so much as ask, to try and follow what he's saying after a couple of hours he cuts me off and says if you'd shutup I'm trying to tell you.

[@kleogaruda815]

​@@Jessica-J.ones.get out. Get better. U will get someone better

[@janclebro6997]

My mother grew up in such a happy home. She said my grandfather could never get over how lucky he was to be married to my grandmother. Then my mother met and married my initially charming and doting father. It was a shock to her system. She said she'd never before come across someone who wouldn't talk to her for two weeks because she forgot to bring the matches to a picnic.

[@jadegreen1554]

“It’s Not You” is going to be the book we all need. She’s THE narcissism expert. There are all different kinds of narcissism, all different nuances. It touches all our lives. There is an epidemic of normalizing narcissistic abuse.

[@vickimerritt2832]

you grieve the loss of hopes and dreams you had in the beginning, and the love you thought you shared, your life even as it was imperfect to miserable....and you have to grieve the loss of yourself.

[@CheriSalt8]

Thank you! I’ve been severely abused by NPD and suffered great losses. Knowing it’s okay to not forgive just gave me such freedom from the years of guilt of not being able to forgive. I agree. Forgiveness does give the narcissist a get out jail free card. They should be held accountable and responsible for their actions and know what they have done is definitely not okay.

[@Cherry-kt8zo]

I won't forgive. I won't further demean myself.

[@lindaschultz7900]

​@@Cherry-kt8zoI will never forgive my narc and my malignant narcissistic father.

[@suzanne8637]

In my opinion forgiveness is often mistaken for reconciliation or forgetting what happened to you or excusing someone's behavior. I think forgiveness is pursuing wholeness for yourself with proper boundaries while not wishing bad things upon the person who hurt you or harmed you.

[@lupelopez7669]

Well said

[@dianedeclare8541]

Anyone who seems to be too nice. Can be reason for caution. Could be poison oozing with pretentious perfume.. Boundaries. Book entitled toxic positivity.

[@julielong8714]

And may I ask, sincerely, what harm does wishing pain upon my abuser cause me? For the years I suffered every manner of abuse with them, and the decade I’ve spent trying to revive my soul since escaping, do I not have a right to my own anger and bitterness?

[@l.5832]

Forgiveness is a pardon. Its chief beneficiary is the guilty party. "Not holding a grudge' is what you are describing. The chief beneficiary is the victim. Be careful who you give gifts to. Modern culture has changed the definition of forgiveness. Forgiveness restores the relationship because it wipes the slate clean and was if the offence never occurred. This is serious business. Our culture has watered down the meaning and made it very self-focussed.

[@julielong8714]

@@l.5832 🎯👏

[@ceeceelee413]

“The treachery of forgiveness” I cannot tell you how much this statement/segment resonated. I cannot thank you enough for saying this out loud. I feel seen at last. The smugness of people who stridently believe “forgiveness” will bring peace and solve all is disheartening.

[@sebbenja]

I only forgive myself for not knowing about narcissism back in time🙏🤗💝

[@raquelknabben393]

I saw this message and I would like for you to read it. I live in a narcissism relationship. “Remember, every thing in life happens for a reason, good days tells you life is beautiful, bad days tells you there is more to learn in life. Good people gives you valuable memories and bad people gives you valuable lessons. So believe, everything in life happens for a reason ❤

[@eadler5929]

I do not believe that in my life a higher purpose was served By being married to someone who convinced my children and myself that I was a lesser human being. Yes , I had a complicated childhood , maybe a setup, But I spent almost twice as long married as I did single. There was no higher purpose served and I apologize to my children..

[@sandyhenry3238]

❤

[@johnpayton4633]

Same here 💯 😊

[@Karenrosereid]

I totally understand that

[@mkatd5252]

I have chosen to forgive myself for not knowing what I do d now.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

I am so happy to hear that ❤

[@beautifullEternal]

Research and planning!

[@1c2h3e4u5n6g]

So important 👍✨

[@theclothingcottage]

I got out after 23 years. I believe that my ex was born autistic and developed narcissism as a defense mechanism. There is a lot of overlap between these two, and ultimately it didn't matter except for curiosity and trying to understand on my part. I would love to hear more about the interaction between these two disorders, there is not a lot out there.

[@marieboyle5384]

Same experience : autism combined with narcissism, lethal combination ! Love to know more about this .

[@theclothingcottage]

@@marieboyle5384 it's an unfortunate combination. I've been out five years now so am much more objective and indifferent. I don't know if there is any help for them really. And they negatively affect the lives of people close to them. The only way IMO is to stay away from them or have extremely limited contact. My adult son does the second one, and most times comes away exhausted from the visit. But he wants limited contact. When there is no crisis (rare), things are alright.

[@brendaschwieterman1350]

My BIL is a narcissist and is also bi-polar. He’s a train wreck. As he ages, it’s evident his entire life is collapsing… but using his arrogance, he hides it fairly well.

[@martiabomargood823]

Oh my! This right here!!!!! THE DISEASE that never stops throwing up on EVERYBODY. HELP US!!!!!

[@martiabomargood823]

The Ex is aging. He has drawn in our son "to show him a better way to grow value in life". I am at a loss on how to help or how to prevent the Trainwreck.

[@kravchuxa]

I love how she says unpopular stuff like “you don’t have to forgive”, this take so much pressure off

[@OceanusBeauty]

Oh boy - I dated a narcissist for 8 years. He truly showed me his true colors. I don't classify him as a man. I regret knowing him.

[@Whoisshe90]

I too dated one, a covert Narcissist who was sweet and vulnerable the first months… then he started to show his true colors, driving fast when he was angry, screaming at me calling me names and giving me the silent treatment, it was so sad.

[@LSlade1207]

Thank you for saying that! Anger is useful ... Staying angry at my ex kept me from going back with him... My anger served as a protective factor... Every time I found my self relaxing... I would think about the dude I fell in love with and start to vacillate but as soon as I remembered how he betrayed me... Played me like a fool... Id snap out of it and Id used the anger to keep me from going back to him... And what I discovered... over time... the anger dissipated and I was safe from myself... and any chance of ever getting back wih him!!!!

[@An1T0]

The forgiveness I am giving is not for the sake of the narcissist I endured, it’s for my own healing. I used to wonder how a person could forgive a perpetrator for a horrendous crime, I now understand why they are wise to forgive. I realized hanging onto resentment, anger, bitterness, the list goes on, started to affect my health, and for me if I don’t have my health I don’t have a good life.

[@inesen1391]

I understand every single word 🤗 take care💛

[@piperuk5366]

I second that ❤ all the best to you

[@johannevanderghote7577]

❤

[@charitygoldart]

Good for you, but please don't judge others who aren't able to forgive. You are no better or wiser than them.

[@sbella6719]

I totally agree, forgiveness is for your own healing.

[@Steph26Tej]

I soo agree with the not forgiving part. Im not hurting anymore, im indifferent towards him. And I’ll never forgive him ever.

[@dennyfie]

I won't be able to totally forgive my ex narc gf. Not toting around anger tho.she knew what she was doing, very deceiving person she ended up being.

[@vickimerritt2832]

My ex asked me how come he was so well liked at work but I found any fault in him. I said because you sign their checks? It was a light bulb moment for me, that he saw me as his employee.

[@carlotalasherascomet3046]

I can’t thank you enough Dr. Ramani for saying that it’s ok to not forgive them, I have felt so guilty for so many years for not forgiving and not loving my mother and suddenly, after hearing that, I feel relief. I have been following you for a very long time and I am very thankful for every video, for helping me understand and deal with my trauma.

[@DominionAnako-bb7ry]

A narcissist is someone who has an excessive sense of self-importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. They often believe they are superior to others and may have an inflated sense of their own abilities and achievements. Narcissists may seek constant validation and attention, manipulate others for their own gain, and have difficulty maintaining healthy relationships. It's important to remember that I'm not a mental health professional, but if you suspect that you're dealing with a narcissist, it may be helpful to seek support from a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and strategies for managing the situation.

[@Slide-A-Jar]

I got a lot from your comment. Thank you

[@blessingokpo5089]

Yep. You said it all. Very unempathetic, cocky, arrogant, cruel and are unhealed broken folks who don't care who they break.

[@nathanjohnson7419]

Your missing the ONE determinant factor in the equation; MALADAPTIVITY.

[@sarammamichael5878]

Exactly on dot 👍🏽

[@dalialovesdoggies4361]

Falseeeee sense of ...

[@evelincosta1449]

She is the best specialist in Narc-Abuse! Combined with Lewis emphatic spirit it is insane!

[@mlili514]

I was with a neglectful Narcissist for 6 years. Two kids later, I decided to leave after talking to a friend of mine about a couple of violent incidents. Seeing her face when I was telling her made me wake up. Took me a while to see I wasent the issue, he was. After 5 years of separation, im starting to get better. I have delt with PTSD and the fact that I have to see him because we share custody… I feel like that has delayed a full recovery. He was emotionally abusive, violent physically and psychologically. I often think back and cant believe i was in so many scary situations. About forgiveness, I will never forgive him nor should I … he has caused so much damage. I have since decided to remove my self from meeting somebody new. I rather not feel anymore but still feel like im living, im free. But maybe one day, I might feel different, but for now im feeling ok being single.

[@IntrospectiveWoman]

@mlili514 I’m so happy to read that you made it on the other side and you are moving forward towards the peace and joy that you deserve 🎉❤

[@elfin21]

Why do you allow him to have custody of any kind if he is violent?

[@sandyhenry3238]

My husband has 3 brothers. All 3 have issuies. Middle one is a hermit. Youngrst a Boutrous Narcissist and the oldest my husband is Community Covert Narcissist. Married 20yrs abuse started less then 2 months in. I tried 3x to leave. Watching videos like this helped me realize I had to make it HIS IDEA. So, I treated him softly the way he treated me and this past July he said he wants Divorce. Today I am getting a Preliminary Protection Order. Death threats are being dropped. Yes 7 months separated I stay in our room. Him guest room.. Not good at all

[@sandyhenry3238]

@@lisacianci8 Oh, I already been callinv him out.. It got him to finally want to Divorce me

[@abundantcreative3307]

You will make it out ❤

[@nandini821]

Your story is my story. Will get out alive and rock life again.

[@sandyhenry3238]

@@nandini821 Deal

[@sandyhenry3238]

He got removed Friday Night and of course I am the evil one but, I'm ok with that. The truth always comes to light

[@sharonherrick7070]

THANK YOU!!! Finally hearing someone say I can heal without forgiving my narcissist mother who scapegoated me, and the three narcissists I married as a result of her abuse. It was holding me back because I would try to forgive and be unable to do it. Still married to narc #3 but grey rocking that noise.

[@sicilialicari6500]

I finally distanced myself from people, because of grief and betrayal, but I don’t have any regrets about it, I live my own company, I will allow myself to love again, now, but I wasn’t willing for a long time

[@macliadevalon7336]

Thank you very much Dr Ramani ! No one should force another one to forgive. They don't know what we are going through. Most of the time executioners think they are entitled to be forgiven no matter what they do.

[@evakober9873]

I bow to Dr. Ramani 🙇‍♀️. I started my Metamorphosis back in 2020. Now when i look at myself in 2024, I catch myself laughing at the narcissistic “5 year old tantrums” . Blessings To You Dr. Ramani. 👏🥂

[@ytuser392]

When Dr. Rahmani spoke about what it means throwing a ball I thought about one time I played with a ball with my grandmother, it was even indoors in a room and we just threw the ball back in forth, it brought such happy feelings and I could see she was having fun with me too, such a simple thing and I still remember it to this day as one of my fondest memories ❤

[@m.v.p.920]

You nailed it, we never know what a healthy relationship is We only know to obey and enable and blame yourself

[@Enlighten9096]

No truer statement than ask a survivor about the treachery of forgiveness…. Thank you!

[@elizabethdamato6141]

I dealt with a narcissist for years. I never want to see that person again. I hope I never have to come across another person like that again, should I, I hope to see the signs immediately, so I can run the other way! I am so grateful that part of my life is over, and I carry NO scars, and I have moved on successfully.

[@dee9692]

So glad you got to be who you are Ramani. May you continue to be a beacon of light, hope, and transcendence to those who suffer from the malignant lived experience of narcissists. You bring grace and autonomy back to a world which has become sickened by its fling with an overbearing strategic rationality.

[@nathanjohnson7419]

To all the grandiose of noble Heart; dr ramani merely facilitates RESISTANCE TRAINING for you. She can ONLY make you STRONGER. You know who you are

[@LisaSpanbauer]

The covert narc I dated 15 years was a Very Careful driver !!! Never sped. Didn't take chances. BUT he would call the other drivers jerks, & worse.

[@pizzaqueen9590]

Dr. Ramani is a saint. Her content has helped me so much in navigating and healing from my narcissistic relationships.

[@fureraisiaka3363]

To survive a relationship with these people is GRACE. You never remain the same again! Thanks to Ramani and Mona. These two people saved my life big time and I will forever be grateful.

[@Vlad_the_Impaler]

I think big part of people getting on with Narcs is they are emotionally starved because of trauma and get hooked on love bombing, however later when it goes in to devaluation it matches with their inner feelings of not being good enough and matches their negative inner core beliefs system.

[@VickiWells-lg5ub]

Always forgive …but don’t allow there to be one more infraction ! Close yourself off completely to them . And yes wise discernment. No tolerance for any disrespect of your humanity !

[@monicamiles4544]

You're wonderful with your knowledge and wisdom. Ty. I've healed from narcissistic abuse from my mother and the covert that took me down to nothing in 2022. I was a codependent empath. With my healing I've become an authentic infp secure empath. I love who I am today and I know I am safe from abuse from socialpaths and narcissist. My emotional intelligence freaks them out. On the downside, I'm not accepted by a lot of people(toxic ones) And I am unable to work because I don't fit into society norms. I am against being programmed and controlled. I am spontaneous not dependable. Don't work well around other people or loud noises. With the negative, I am the happiest I've ever been in my 54 years of life.❤

[@KA-mq4wj]

Yes! Dr Ramani you’re so correct…I dated a narcissistic psychopathic man. I didn’t know at the time but later realized he was unstable. He was a cardiac nurse. He drove so fast, erratic and scary on purpose. I told him to slow down because I have neck issues. He didn’t care at all and continued to drive recklessly and dangerously. I’ll never forget this behavior. It was sadistic.

[@TranscendingTrauma]

I don’t disagree that the way men have been socialized around emotions has caused harm (like shamed for having them) but women have been also! How often are women shamed and called hysterical for feeling their emotions? And how often are women shamed and told it’s not lady like to feel certain emotions such as anger? Which is just a natural human emotion that arises up in our bodies as a reaction to stimuli. Anger is actually one of the emotions that men seem to be allowed to feel but women not. Societies demand of emotional suppression is part of the problem of society’s lack of empathy.

[@vidadeolivier-vidartlife5725]

Hey Lewis... Hey, Dr. Ramani, You're not the only one who enjoys getting old and see the beauty of aging. Wise, confident, beautiful... you name all the joy. ❤😂😊

[@wellinever1558]

I have said this about grief for years. Its rushed and comes up later. I chose no more loss. I was 40 getting out of the relationship now 70 but happier. What a spot on podcast. I now have discernment but still scared.

[@richardalvarado5514]

Wow. So great and actually healing. 1:12 is very eye and ear opening. Not forgiving actually protects you and doesn’t let you repeat the same treatment …the treatury of forgiveness

[@golnar5547]

Please write a parenting book and how healthy relationships should ideally be

[@AJGlam13]

I’m 25 minutes in and LOVING THIS. The advice is gold and it feels like a warm hug of support. I’m so thankful to continue to learn and grow! 💕

[@baeconater8]

Forgiveness is for you not for them.

[@just-groove-it]

You are the wise aunt, we have all need our entire life! Thank You

[@emmachalk1708]

Thank you for spelling about not forgiving. I think people feel that's the only way to heal. It's good to hear that it's not.

[@robinfetterly3032]

Some narcissists drive slow. They get attention from driving slow and control by means whether others get somewhere on time in a passive way. I’ve seen it first hand.

[@lindakrenn4840]

I am the mother of a daughter that is a narcissist. She has done it all to me humiliate, belittle, verbally abuse me; really just try to destroy me. I feel hollow, worthless and empty. It is HELL. I feel bad for her because if a narcissist is an insecure person that felt unloved or neglected, as her mother I did that! How could I harm my little girl and set her up for a life of loneliness and insecurity when I loved her so much and wanted everything wonderful in life for her!? To save my sanity, finally I had to break away from her for good but it leaves me with guilt and a broken heart. I am truly broken😢

[@TeacherMom80]

I am SO sorry. 😥 Hopefully, good things will come in time. Keep praying for her & letting her know that you are there for her & love her, while enforcing healthy boundaries. 💕🙏🏼🕊️

[@kamalvipul9213]

Our society teaches us to be scared of failure. Failure in relationships, failure with friends, failure at work, failure at work, etc. Let the people fail…don’t project things in the future.

[@carrietaylor3027]

Thank you Dr. Ramani!! Saying we DON'T have to forgive someone who hurt us so deeply is very helpful. It's not bitterness, it's realism.

[@lewishowes]

Appreciate you for watching!

[@paularyan8400]

Thank you Lewis for having such a powerful conversation with Dr Ramani. Thank you Dr Ramani for going against the grain and stating that there are people you will never forgive for Hijacking the Soul. I am adamant that I do not have to forgive people who have deliberately abused me in the most insidious of ways. Keep on keeping on. The work you do is so important.

[@lewishowes]

🙏🙏

[@ForeverSweetx3]

Forgiveness doesn't mean you condone what they did nor does it mean everything goes back to the way things are. It does mean letting go of resentment as the dictonary says. Not letting it consume you.

[@glen10bailey97]

Thank you Dr. Ramani for opening my eyes to the true meaning of Forgiveness. You're correct, forgiving the narcissist is one of the worse things you can do.

[@Astro_Venus]

How we forgive a narcist for the pain they caused us? We just forgive ourselves for allowing them to hurt us and promise will never allow that to anyone else.

[@sbella6719]

Precisely! At some point we have to acknowledge that we allowed it. When I stayed committed to repentance (changing) and forgiving myself, things started to change.

[@jolesliewhitten6545]

My advice: never date someone who makes you feel SORRY for them-the reason I married a CRUEL narcissist (I thought I could make him happy.)

[@CC-yh9ng]

Ditto

[@glorimarrodriguez8507]

This woman .... what a force !

[@tvalecic]

Lewis - so nice and brave of you to get so openly and admitt your fears from relationship.

[@lewishowes]

🧡

[@PhyllisMoon]

YES! The best takeaways were about forgiveness, watch how a narcissist drives & that they have no empathy & give no attention to others. I'd like to add, watch how they treat animals. If they're impatient & cruel DUMP THEM IMMEDIATELY! They'll inevitably treat you & your children the same way. Dr. Ramani is the G O A T! 👏🏼👏🏼

[@innerhealingcoach]

This was excellent and will help so many people get free!!!! Healing happens when you find safe trauma informed coaches and therapists. It’s a journey and takes time breaking thoughts and beliefs around love, your self worth and what you need in a healthy relationship.

[@jillijewel8922]

I've watched SO MANY of her videos and she still make me cry every single time.

[@sebbenja]

In the face: Give life a chance with humanbeings! Thank U Dr Ramani!!!🙏🤗💝

[@kateoverdier8716]

Yes! Thank you Lewis for hosting Dr Ramani. Please have her back! Would you consider hosting psychologist Dr. Les Carter? He's a peer of Dr Ramani, an expert specializing in Narcissism, & he has an exceptionally warm, kind, reassuring style as he explains Narcissism & techniques to survive or shield ourselves from it. His show 'Surviving Narcissism' is a beautiful light shining into the darkness & confusion we face when dealing with these difficult personalities. Would LOVE to have you share this beautiful, kind, Grandfatherly sage with your viewers to help spread awareness of Narcissism to the world at large. Dr. C (title he goes by ) & Dr. Ramani are fans of each other. Thanks for ALL you do! 💙

[@NS-uq9st]

I totally agree with Dr.Ramani about her view on not forgiving and being at peace as my suffering ended when I accepted people for who they are and chose not to give them 50 times a second chance following the rule of society of being the bigger person and forgive...it ruined my 35 years till I started following Dr 3 years back and learnt recognising bad behaviour and set healthy boundaries 🙏

[@azeraseer102]

One of the best videos so far. As a divorced single parent, it was so good to hear that I am not alone in the guilt I feel. It's important to know that both parents are not always narcissistic.

[@annap9441]

The part about forgiveness… oh boy. Actually I have a happy emotional life, I consider myself healed and with the wisdom experiences gave me…and thanks to lots of therapy, books and all the resources I could find to help me achieve my actual state. Went no contact with my NC father and that was the ultimate relief…but sometimes feel bad about myself with the typical forgiveness messages because I feel unable to erase resentment from me. I don’t think about him often but sometimes when I remember something about my childhood, that subtle rage appears and sometimes I shame myself for that. Thank you Dr. Ramani to make me feel it’s OKAY❤

[@michellehendrickson9652]

Yessss... not allowing emotional abuse but 1st regonizing it

[@marcinosr]

Lewis is the most empathetic interviewer. That is why those interviews are most natural, friendly and sincere without any pose. Best interview with Dr. Ramani

[@lewishowes]

Appreciate your support. Thank you for watching! 🧡

[@MS-ov9sv]

She is really the best on Narcissism

[@AdrianaVillegasmx]

Very inspiring, healing is a long road and at least in my case not linear, sometimes I go back to traumatic moments, moments of doubt, moments of great anxiety, even panic attacks, moments of not believing that I am autonomous and that I want to return to that relationship and the most common is that I think that if what happened was the way I think things were or that the problem is me. But once you know and have information there is no way to deny that it exists, and this podcast was an enlightenment for me, always learning how to heal my loss of my relationship, it is a real grief process. Thanks for this great content!

[@Omnia-Los-Cabos-Realtor]

Too often people confuse judgement with discernment.

[@EllaCinder-lh4ro]

Too many people confuse judgement arising from discernment with negation and rejection

[@charitygoldart]

Yes! I just went no-contact with a narcissist friend and was constantly told by her I was 'judgemental' when really I could no longer ignore what I was seeing; that her behaviour was self-centered & entitled. I think being judgemental is more when you judge someone without really knowing what's going on for them, for example, thinking an overweight person you barely know is lazy or greedy without knowing they might suffer from an eating disorder or work too hard looking after others to take care of themselves. When you KNOW someone & you know everything behind their behaviour and there's still no justification for their actions except narcissism, that's when it's discernment & not 'judgement'.

[@dottyp137]

Totally relate to lewis, the reason he wouldn’t walk away. Not understanding what is going on based on having difficult relationships with family and friends and knowing that there are going to be repercussions if you leave, like they are going to ruin your life/reputation 🤷‍♀️. I think narcissists force relationships and then make it scary to leave.

[@sadiekimmer3950]

I literally have been saying I feel like a neglected personal assistant

[@allisongrattidge4154]

Am so shocked in the numbers of 1 in 6 people are narcissistic, this is scary. Am still getting back on my feet after a 10 year relationship with a person who ticks all the boxes for being a narcissist, these vlogs and podcasts has helped immensely for healing as an empath. It's amazing how much self awareness is important and emotional intelligence can save decades of psychological pain if you're not aware. Disengage, no communication, divorce your partner and your family even, it was hard but am feeling that am becoming a better human for doing it.

[@christine9972]

I think you can forgive someone but not ever trust them again. It is important to forgive for not having resentment that turns into bitterness but it does not mean you start trusting them and let them back in again (My opinion)

[@alanalycan3986]

I agree

[@cege8693]

Totally agree with Dr. Ramani on forgiveness. Not necessary to move forward with your life. I don’t have to forgive you for that horrible treatment AND I can live my life.

[@genevieveraymond8326]

Death by a thousand cuts ... It's what it feels like ! And that's why it takes so long to open your eyes and walk away ...

[@annai3394]

Dr Romani is so much helpful to all people dealing with abuse in relationship. Not necessarily with diagnosed narcissist. Because most of abusers have narcissistic traits in their behavior due to childhood trauma. Her work is useful for all ❤ she gives us so much hope and strength to return control on our own selves…

[@lewishowes]

Thank you so much for watching! 🧡

[@patsage5584]

Loved the difference between between narcisist vs someone who is charming, etc and empathic. Thank you. My sis is a grandiose narcissist.

[@giovannycerudolph6274]

This is the most important conversation on a podcast that needed to be talk about

[@Aisha_babii]

If you get pushback on your No’s and boundaries, if they don’t take accountability, if they love talking about themselves and their accomplishments but don’t ask you about who you are as a person and literally have zero interest in what makes you happy or unique… you might be with a narcissist 😢

[@sarahkoren7294]

I find myself returning to these videos. Dr. Ramani always teaches me something new that speaks to where I am at that moment. Thank you! Healing from Narcissistic Abuse is a "Work in Progress" with many ups and downs. At vulnerable times in my life, that may have nothing to do with the narcissist, I find myself having memories or flashbacks of my Narcissistic parents or siblings. So, I try to be kind to myself, and turn on the appropriate Dr. Ramani video.❤