Live Edit: Hook vs Story - Which ONE is Killing Your Narrative?

[@proveit5813]

keep up guys You're making a big difference

[@KewlImp]

I'm out the moment she isn't in massive debt. If the robots are using biometrics, her heart pumping a few extra times whenever she is in the presence of one person, then they will know she is feeling something. The robots might not know what it is, but by pointing it out explicitly, it means it's clear she is feeling and feeling a lot.

[@leeWonnacott]

I would just love to have you two go over my first chapter. How do I get it to you?

[@elchiponr1]

Reminds me of the movie Equilibrium, with Christian Bale. Great, underrated movie.

[@releasingyourinnerdragon]

I love that movie (Marie)

[@ctwofirst6635]

'A silent shifting of norms' isn't a sentence. I watched a previous critique of other stories and I thought writers were told that incomplete sentences were a no-no. Which is it? If there are exceptions to the rule, please explain.

[@IskandrArchive]

They say its a sentence fragment in the video, but there are exceptions to every rule, typically its more making the choice to break the rule for a reason. You could leave a sentence fragment for poetic reasons, a certain flow and rhythm to the speech. Or to evoke a certain feeling in your audience, some sentence fragments might feel uneasy or uncomfortable to read and that intention is important. Ultimately writing is an art form and in all forms of art, the rules are more conventions that work, but artists learn the rules so they can find the interesting ways to subvert and break them to create the art they want to create.