10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Child

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

What If My Child Just Doesn't Care About Consequences - kzbin.info/www/bejne/e6ackHiOlruthdE

[@khandakarnilimayasmin1919]

❤

[@annalieseelizabeth8461]

Pregnant with my first child; best time to start learning how to parent and what I would want for my child, will definitely be taking notes on all your videos!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Congratulations Abigail - parenting is a great adventure, and a huge responsibility. You'll find lots of topics here in our Positive Parenting playlist on the channel. I think you would also love the Parenting Power-up Audio Course that Vicki (my wife) and I just recorded. You can get a free sample listen here: parentingpowerup.com

[@valerymachio1061]

abigail irime congratulations

[@SweetGee321]

You are going to be a great mother!! I did the same thing and I was only 3 months preg at the time 😂 but you know what, we are just making sure the kids are our first priority. 🙏🙏

[@annalieseelizabeth8461]

Yadira Santiago definitely! Only have 2 weeks left, but you can never be too prepared!x

[@valerymachio1061]

abigail irime 😍😍aaaaawwww...do you know the gender yet

[@Pot00790]

I'm 24 years old and still single. I am a victim of Emotional Neglect from my Parent and still suffering until now. I don't want my future kids to be in my situation. And so Im trying to research articles or video clips on how to make my future son/daughter healthy emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You CAN change the future, James Reid. We don't have to parent like our parents did. So powerful.

[@judymccleary7426]

James, you sound like a very caring, insightful and wise young man. You're on a good path. I believe you will be a fantastic father one day. I wouldn't refer to myself as a victim if I were you. You're an overcomer, exhibiting empathy and learning relationship and parenting skills along your journey. Jesus will definitely help you if you call on Him. Bless you always.

[@sagrammyfour]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV Focus on yourself for now.

[@lynnepaulocsak122]

You're awesome 🙂. The fact that you're concerned about being a good parent some day while you're young shows that you care and you will be a good parent someday!!

[@samueldiaz3027]

“I’m 24 years old and still single” some of the best times of your life are waiting. Your partner is out there, do not feel rushed to start a serious relationship while you are still dealing with deep emotional issues. Spend your 20’s healing and working on yourself and the rest will fall into place. 🙏🏼

[@rosekadoges]

I don't even have kids but I find this really informative! I am a teacher though and I think it could help in the (adult!) classroom!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Rose, that's the nice thing about principle based strategies - they tend to be universal. DrPaul

[@burntgrilledcheesie]

Yes!!!I I started reading up on this kind of thing before I was even considering having kids. Also, a great book (that also works with adults) is "How to talk to kids will listen, and listen so kids will talk"

[@Lovely-wy4fo]

A family friend told me "practice makes improvement". I was around 13 years old and never forgot it. Everytime someone said practice makes perfect. I would say "no, practice makes improvement".lol

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Katrina O, thank you for sharing. Glad to have you at Live On Purpose TV.

[@geebisi]

I like that. A teacher colleague says practice makes constant...

[@cruzmissile25]

Practice doesn't make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect. Same thing when coaches say practice like you play.

[@TheCADDGUY]

perfect practice makes perfect improper practice makes you worse helps engage you and others on how to pay attention the entire time because everyone wants to get whatever they are practicing right

[@LittleNikkiGram]

Practice makes progress.

[@leryckalee699]

I’m 45 and a mess from a lot of things my parents did and said that undermined my development in so many subtle ways. No one wants to hear it cuz I wasn’t beaten starved abused homeless etc but I’ve since been many of those things and developed addictions because of the cumulative effects. And guess what Dr Phil doesn’t want to help-Dads dead-Moms too old n defensive to talk with about it and my only sibling who left at 18 to move cross country n isn’t coming back tells me to get over it....I’m at a loss. Old tired unemployed drinking too much and there is no where to go!! Please folks-TAKE THIS ADVICE!! Those little things matter-I remember many little things but if I try now that I realize to talk to my Mom she just gets mad n says she did the best she could--which I KNOW. But I need support just to listen n understand how it made me FEEL and I can’t get that in any quarter. Words mean something-choose yours with care!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yes, words matter. Thanks for your comments Lerycka Lee. Some good news... It's not too late to claim your joy. Watch the intro video on the channel about how to stay positive no matter what. Honored to be on your team! DrPaul

[@caremell]

Lerycka Lee be the parent you rather wanted to have to yourself. When you fall off the wagon don't be your mom or your dad to yourself like start insulting yourself or reinforcing their horrible proficacy become real rather be the parent you wanted to have to yourself. Show the help, love, mercy on yourself. When you reach at a safe happy place just try to forgive and let go of what they did to you because their attack it wasn't actually personal they didn't know how to cope with all life kids thing cause they probably had worse parents than you had.

[@happynessishere3519]

God can help you 😊

[@albenitalopez370]

Your parents might have been narcissistic. Watch videos on narcissism and it will help you. Your mom may never admit it, or apoligize.

[@toordog1753]

I'm on the same boat, I was beat as a kid and stood in corners for weeks, and one time for 9 months, every day! What gets me is how could my mother allow my step dad to do this? And the kicker! My whole family tells me I need to move on, get passed it, dont hold a grudge. It will never be out of your head, but you have to get passed it.. It would be nice if my step dad acknowledged what he did, but the worst part is all of these people who keep telling me this have completely stopped talking to half of our family because my mom was abused as a kid.... How hypocritical is that? How would that make someone else feel their whole lives? I literally moved out of state to help me get away from this and when my sister got sick after 9 years I moved back, now I have to deal with this every day and people make me feel GUILTY for not wanting my kids over at their house, they say I'm dragging on things that dont matter anymore. I'm going to be 45, and i dont even know how to behave with my own kids now, i get all the blame for my anger and resentment. You are NOT alone.... I wish I could get a little help from someone sometimes.

[@lavonnetraylor8403]

Never said parenting was easy. I was 18 when i had my first. Had never baby sat. BUT I felt in my soul this was the most important job I should ever have. I DID have my parents example, but they weren't around and I had tho figure it out. So I WORKED TO BE A LOVING PARENT. I asked myself a hundred times a day how my words might be perceived by them, and ILOVED THEM. I maintain that is the whole formula. I beat myself minimally, I told them they didnt come with an instruction book, but we would learn togerher. AND WE DID. All of them are my joy, and they are loving compassionate parents and grandparents, selfless and dedicated to family. They took a few knocks, but were taught to be strong enough to shake it off. They were all different, but the basics are the same. UNSELFISH LOVE IS THE ANSWER

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Well said, Lavonne Traylor. I hope many read your words.

[@starlight13081]

I'm in awe right now! I've used most if not all of these with my girls (now 17 & 19) The way you take these words and make them into something more positive is incredible. I know my girls are no longer children but I'm gonna start looking at what I say from a different angle and try to better myself and my words when engaging with my girls. Never to late to try, I hope. Thank you for this video! This is my first time on your channel, but it won't be the last. So thank you again for opening my eyes up a little more. I appreciate it!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You bring up a good point, Crystal Starlight, these words impact everyone, not just children. Glad to have you join the channel.

[@awakesurfer121]

In a little time I watched your video, I learned a lot though I don't have children but I shared this with my family. Thanks for sharing your knowledge.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you so much for the share - glad you're here. We also have a positive personal development playlist and another one for relationships - check it out. DrPaul

[@christinetraylor5609]

When my kids mess up and feel stupid or are frustrated for it, I tell them if you weren't trying you wouldn't have messed up and if you never try you'll never get anywhere so good job for trying! When they want something we can't afford I tell them to save their money and if they still want it by the time they save their money than it will be well spent money. My oldest daughter is 16 and has a part time job, I tell her if she wants something to do the math and figure out how many hours she had to work for it and see if she still thinks it's worth it. Letting kids earn money whether you let them wash your car and pay them instead of paying at the car wash etc... Teaches them to have value in themselves for being able to work, save, and have been the one that earned what they get, it gives them huge amounts of self worth and self satisfaction, it builds a character of building your life by hard work instead of living off others, that is a dangerous and self destructive mindset which also hurts an overall national economy by poor work ethics and an additude of serve me... How you raise your child effects the village and we all have to PUT UP with them.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks for your comment Christine, and for your thoughtful and conscious approach to parenting! DrPaul

[@JAMQWERT]

My mother did the same with me and I am excellent at finances as an adult because I had to realise the real cost of things and I would often decide against getting something I really wanted, but for some reason the lessons stopped with me (the eldest) and with my younger sister my parents just gave her whatever she wanted rather than carry over the expectation of responsibility. It was like that for many things (still is to this day) and it made me feel like I had to work for everything because I wasn't good enough person to just be given it like my sister was. Lesson would be treat ALL your kids with all the same logic because they will notice and feel unworthiness if one must work for their treats and the other just gets given them. I wasn't opposed to working for my own treats, just the fact my sibling didn't have to. I didn't complain about it, I just got on with life but I can't say I never resented it.

[@christyb7590]

I'm not going to tip toe around words and make feelings always more important than fact. I teach my kids about having a moral compass and being loyal to that. I teach about reality not a safe space. I have taught them that pain and suffering, mental or physical, are part of accomplishing your dreams. I teach about controlling impulses. I teach them that I will always love them. I teach I will not be manipulated and will help only if "help" helps. They are 26 and 28 and both are successful young adults.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Christy B, I like that, help if "help" helps. Many people get stuck in that mire.

[@amyr3285]

Excellent ideas. Wording is everything. Children are very vulnerable to what and how, we say to them.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Amy R, yes, and body language along with that.

[@phatxausage]

One of the main thing I learned as a parent is to holdback the instinct of helping/comforting/interfering (including complementing/correcting etc.). Also, the skill to analyze the potential danger of an environment that he's playing on and to adjust your action to protect your child.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yes, much of positive parenting is knowing when to let things be, even when we can step in and take control. The children need to learn how to work things out for themselves and it can be messy.

[@misciatarlit]

I will immediately send this to my parents.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Awesome, Miscia Tarlit. We all need to learn new things.

[@lauralewis7422]

This reminds me of Montessori article I read as well. All good stuff, we say “good work” to emphasize the energy or hard work they put into the job rather than emphasizing the final product. At a learners stage the work is far more important than the result. The first time I heard a teacher say to a child “practice makes us better” to children in my first child’s kindergarten classroom. I felt like I had just went to therapy myself and changed my life. I was still carrying that pressure as an adult to be perfect and never could quite get there. It hindered me greatly in my career to complete projects on time because it was never perfect. This is a big one. Sorry, Dr. Paul. The first two do seem small but can have a big impact on a little person. Love to listen back these are great reminders when I slip back into old habits. Good Luck fellow Parents! I’m rooting for you too.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, I love how we can come back here again and again whenever we need a reminder.

[@lollipopmissfit]

Thank you. I will be catching myself now. I can see these helping adults as well.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yes! There are principles about dealing with people in general - big people or little people. Thanks for watching BattyGhoul! DrPaul

[@Goshdarnet]

I love that the pop up when you're talking about "practice makes perfect" has a misspelling in "working". I'm not sure if that is there on purpose or if it was a mistake, but it was timely.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Nada Sheppard, this video was done a while ago, I can't remember if it was done on purpose. Haha. Good catch.

[@commenter5901]

I always say "Practice makes Progress"

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Agreed.

[@SweetGee321]

Wow thank you!! First time mom and I have a 2 year old , he is a dare devil and I’m always catching myself telling him “ be careful” , I would definitely be using this advice about going where he is and keep a close eye and cheering him on instead of shouting or telling him be careful lol . 🙏

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yadira, kudos to you on being a conscious parent - keep up the great work. I think you might also appreciate the Parenting Power-up Audio Course I did with my wife, Vicki. You can get a free pre-listen here: parentingpowerup.com DrPaul

[@jeromengassa8764]

Thank you very much for this counter intuitive and very unexpected way to mindfully rephrase our thoughts to our kids. It is an honor to be part of your Chanel Sir Dr Paul.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Jerome, the honor is mine - thanks for watching! DrPaul

[@highclass_lady]

I'm not a parent, but I think this is really good advice for teachers, coaches, & mentors too

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Ess G, yes, it is.

[@supermom7433]

My autistic daughter thinks ok is a negative because we would say "it's ok." When comforting her. That was when I realized that it's actually kinda messed up to say it's ok when the child clearly does not feel ok.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I get it. We can tailor our words to our situation and what makes sense for us. Glad you took the time to listen to your daughter and her perception.

[@ND-nj5vd]

I remember that I was about 5 years old and lost my parents in a store. I was told not to talk to strangers but I was in panick coz I was alone. So I remember that I looked around and saw a woman wild a child of my age and I decided to tell her that I lost my parents. My parents showed up right after I told her but it was like common sense to trust that woman

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks for your comment N Deli - glad you're here. DrPaul

[@FatNebraskaMom]

Yeah I thought that was a really good example. Like look for another mommy. Except nowadays you have child predators out and about looki g for kids who are rolling around with kids trying to snag kids. Im in frickin nebraska and you hear stories all the time about a woman alone with two or three kids watching a "team" circle or try to enclose her. Yeah. Keep a close eye on ur kids. Theres no cheat for that one.

[@darlene4745]

I'm watching this and I'm crouching down in my pillow shamefully.... Oh boy. Love this channel glad I found it.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad to have you in the Live On Purpose family, Darlene *. We are glad you found us.

[@luzcordero4928]

Best video I have ever seen about education. Thank you so much.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Wow, thank you!

[@kailauren]

Best 12 minutes of my life. Thank you for your guidance 🧡

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Monica Lauren Lopez, honored to be on your team.

[@kailauren]

The honor is mine Sir, you make the world a better place 🌤

[@prasadshrivatsa6126]

I think parenting the right way is the most important skill we need to work on these days as a society because the world has become so much more challenging, confusing and unforgiving, and that is what our children will be stepping into. They need to be mentally strong and highly adaptive to find their place in it.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Prasad Shrivatsa, so true, and we need to have those experiences to make us the people we need to be.

[@Luluamazing]

U are so amazing, thanks so much for these timely and insightful reminders for a mother with an eleven years old, like me! 💪🏻

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are so welcome!

[@LeCoeurouvertecoute]

Im so happy I found your channel. I will surely be a better parent . God bless you for sharing

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Reine Youmbi, I am glad you found us also, please share away.

[@stephanieori-orison7880]

I love your positive videos. Give me such a great deal of guidance and confidence in parenting.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad to have you at Live On Purpose, stephanie Ori-Orison.

[@chibywallah]

Your videos are ALWAYS so helpful and true. Thank you so much!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, @chibywallah.

[@sashaluq]

This is an excellent video! Thanks!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad it was helpful!

[@DanielVoyles]

I would not agree that telling your kid "That hurts, doesn't it?" is the correct response. You are basically telling them how to feel. I usually respond in a calm way, "are you okay" or "are you hurt". I feel that is just as empathetic, without telling them how or what to feel. Once they have responded with how they feel about the situation, only then will I agree with their evaluation about the situation.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for watching. Sometimes we can look at someone and tell they are in pain. Some kids need help naming emotions.

[@mylifeinsweden575]

Im watching this to know how can treat my husband 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Husbands are a special kind of animal - principles are universal though, so there is a lot that can apply ;) DrPaul

[@nilaphillips3500]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣i might have to copy you in that!

[@onlyme6662]

@@nilaphillips3500 ..oh HELL yea im in lol🤣🤣🤣

[@esequiasdhernandez2746]

Rude... lol....

[@Reddust86]

That is funny because I was watching this to know how to treat my wife.

[@priscillamerrow996]

My almost 5yr old has started to notice mommy and daddy don't have an infinite amount of money. I have used #6 before without thinking and she has caught on. Lately we have been explaining why we don't spend our money on certain things. Like why we have chosen to homeschool instead of paying for private school. Or how we are unwilling to buy her $100 play dress but are willing to give her half if she earns and saves for the other half.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Great examples - thanks for your comment Priscilla. Hope you're finding the channel helpful. DrPaul

[@Tygr04]

Hello, Dr. Jenkins, thanks a lot for your videos. I have three children, 15,6 and 4 and your advices how to talk to them are really effectives. I’m from Czech Republic and I also like your nice English, which is for me very good to understand. I wish you merry Christmas and all the best for New year✌️✋

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are very welcome, Merry Christmas to you and your family.

[@bunnyhei]

Thank you so much! My Mum said the 2nd point all the time and then makes me very inconfident of doing anything. Cause i keep thinking that i did not practice enough. I understand that my Mum wants me to be fully prepared but this really has hugs negative effect on me

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

bunnyhei, I understand why you think the way you do, but you need to work on reframing your future.

[@jasonmendoza2044]

It seems sometimes that psychologists like to focus on something that obviously shouldn’t be a problem, then overthink and over analyze it until they can find a way to create a problem out of it, then solve the problem. Similar to a power or god complex just to inflate their own ego. Which I understand is what some may be perceiving me to do here, and that’s exactly why it can become a maddening circle of redundancy. Focus on actual problems in the world, rather than turning “awesome job” into a problem, as if you couldn’t just incorporate that into a more elaborated conversation about their feelings on the matter anyways.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Jason Mendoza, this is based on 30 years of experience.

[@Sabkishiksha]

Thank you much Sir for giving respect by referring Sabkishiksha”Education for All”. This channel in Hindi to reach rural India so that everyone can get quality education / knowledge about parenting . Truely appreciate your refer to us

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

thank you for referring.

[@martiee6882]

Thank you so much for this

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are very welcome. I like your picture. Original.

[@juliebelen4751]

Thank you for the tips.. 😊

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

My pleasure 😊

[@freepilot7732]

Naturally I loved your flying an airplane analogy being a pilot myself. Thanks.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Happy flying.

[@hammiessandwich7447]

I like to say mum has enough room in her heart for all her Three boys and daddy too 🤔 but my teen and I struggle a bit now and then.But I am guilty practice makes perfect I have said

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Hammies Sandwich, I like that. Be patient through the teen years. They usually come out of them o.k.

[@mojkanal912]

Practise makes perfect -> Enjoying what you do makes perfect i wish i heard second one as kid

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Wiktoria Blecharczyk, it's never too late. You got this.

[@awkwardgeektalk416]

I'm by no means a parent (I'm 15 eek), but these videos are really helpful to me anyway. I have 2 younger siblings aged 4 and 7 and i don't always know how to handle them. Part of this is because I have autism, which can make it really difficult for me to properly communicate with other people, no matter the age.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

AwkwardGeekTalk,I think it is great you are watching. We have teachers, daycare workers, and lots of others watching.

[@angelwings3128]

Excellent advice! 👍🏼

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad it was helpful!

[@plusbonus9017]

I love your acting. Ever considered comedy? Serious! 👌

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Not really, Plus Bonus. I am very passionate about my work and helping others. Thank you for watching.

[@FatNebraskaMom]

Plus Bonus this is kind of a dick thing to say cos this guy is pretty genuine and we need more genuine people on earth.

[@Lv-nq9qz]

I hate "be careful." I always got be careful from my mother. Mind you, I was never NOT careful. I was a quiet kid, never really got in trouble, always made sensible choices. But I still heard "be careful" over and over. To the point where I'm still hearing it from my mother even though I'm in my 30s. It actually kinda makes me angry at this point in my life.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

L v, thank you for commenting. We all have things our parents said that play through our minds.

[@lavonnetraylor8403]

Think the video ridiculous. Parenting is NOT that difficult, but requires patience and common sense. Had 5 children 12 grands, 17 greats. Never did these stupid things. Complements when due, comfort when needed, discipline when required; all because I LOVE THEM, and show it every day. Hugs, kisses, "I think you're a great kid", I'm sending Angels to/with you if you do your best, prayerfully snd lovingly, the kids grow up self confident, kind, loving and generous. Good parents themselves, with high morals and positive attitude. Could we ask for more?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad you found the job easy, Lavonne Traylor. Many people were not shown how to do this, it didn't happen in their families. Thank you for watching.

[@chasmofsar2691]

People try so hard to create content. "Never" is a pretty strong word. "What if instead... we give everyone a trophy?"

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks for watching.

[@Renee302976]

I wish parenthood was this simple 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Simple is not easy. Sooo difficult and we are here for you.

[@jeeolsen9993]

Just love them without words...

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Jenny Olsen, yes, communication happens on many levels.

[@nathanielgray4235]

Gold

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you.

[@asdonamur4475]

perfect videos and advice but music before and after videos is too loud and very annoying. Should change the tune to more relaxing and less loud

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

asdona mur, I have heard this, my KZbin creator picked it and doesn't want to change at this time as we are getting going.

[@ramon2260]

I should of listen to u in my 20s , but will do it now in my late 30s

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad you are here.

[@melodyismybestfriend]

Hello, Dr. Paul. Thanks for sharing your parenting tips. Have you ever thought you publish a book like "how to communicate with your child effectively?" I babysit a 7 yr old boy who ALWAYS disagree with your plan, (i give him two options though), he is very incooperative kid....

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Pauline C, I have a book in the works now, no publish date. Make sure you are following through with your option.

[@thobelanitabalaza8566]

i was beginning to loose hope, until I got number 8 right :) , 4 years as a parent turns out i knew nothing about parenting at all

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thobelani Tabalaza, I bet you know a lot, we all have areas we can improve. Glad you are here.

[@passionfruitprincess]

Pretty sure I've said every one of those to all of my three kids and they are all loved and well adjusted adults. One a doctor, one a teacher and one drives huge excavators.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

So Sparkly, such an excellent observation. Kids are amazingly resilient and can recover from all kinds of things we might do or say as a parent. The key is to love them no matter what and even if. The suggestions on this video are merely to get us thinking and being more conscious about being a parent. Thanks for watching! DrPaul

[@jewellestange9598]

I think some of the things mentioned in the video are ridiculous.

[@susanajohnson6250]

Great video , I would love a video for adhd kids

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad you enjoyed the video, Susana Johnson. We have some videos discussing children with ADHD. If you need something other than this, let me know and I'll consider making a video based on your suggestion: "How To Parent A Child With ADHD" - kzbin.info/www/bejne/fJjYXpKjmpyHe5Y "How To Help A Child With ADHD Without Medication" - kzbin.info/www/bejne/sGm3ZqV_jNaFrKM "How To Help Kids With ADHD" - kzbin.info/www/bejne/rX_Uq5yfgN6cnbs "How To Get A Kid With ADHD To Focus" - kzbin.info/www/bejne/gZOlY6xmp76poZY "Proven Natural Remedies For ADHD in Children" - kzbin.info/www/bejne/a3rFiJqrr9aajdE Thanks for watching Live On Purpose TV!

[@veronicakattan8458]

haha I was always conscious of saying "be careful" I always felt like it was a little overprotective, I'll definitely do the spotting next time and keep quiet :) thanks doc.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You got this! Veronica Cullen, you are the perfect parent for your kiddos.

[@wendajones9040]

Very interesting. Thanks for this.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, Wenda Jones. Thanks for watching.

[@meyang31]

Well, my daughter said we can go get the money from the ATM to afford it...

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Mary, haha, she has some things to learn, all in good time.

[@thegoodwitchluzura]

I need advice. What do you do if your parents decide to not give you any presents for Christmas and instead give them to charity as punishment even though you did nothing inherently wrong?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Nia Abejero - Mc Connell, I am not sure you have any power over their choices, just your own. Caution: don't act too upset in case this is a joke and there are really presents on Christmas. Some parents try to psyche their kids.

[@erikavilla5900]

Love watching I wish I have found you 10 yrs ago

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad we can connect.

[@rukayyamahomed1778]

Thanks for this amazing advice.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Rukayya Mahomed, you are welcome.

[@meganseaman1]

Hi Dr. Paul! This was a great list of clarifications! I am a child/youth/family therapist too, and I think your insights would be a wonderful addition to the things my families are working on already! I wonder about one other thing that parents often say, for which I believe just creates immediate defensiveness in kids and is completely unhelpful and that is "fix your attitude" or "I don't want to hear any attitude." I think parents may have learned this phrase from their parents, and then forgot that it actually set them off and did not help. What are your thoughts about the "attitude" judgment from parents?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Megan Seaman, I tend to put more emphasis on behavior and less on "attitude" as it is difficult to quantify and what we are really looking at is behavior.

[@carlax5270]

My sister abandoned 2 of her daughters with us, they are 6 and 4 years old, she often phisically abused them. They are rebel girls. For example, if I say "Do not eat this because you are going to get sick", they continue doing it the moment that I turn around. They yell when I try to explain them why they do not have to do something, and they cry if I try to teach them something. For example, I have spend 2 months trying to teach the alphabet to the older one, and she still cannot lear more than 4 letters. They over-eat, have hygiene problems, and do not listen to simple instructions. I am scare for them and their future. I do not know what to do to help them. I was thinking about sending them to a therapist, but I really do not know how to help them...

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Wow Carla - that is a challenge. Thank you for being willing to help these girls. It sounds like they've had a tough go of it so far. I'm glad you're here on the channel, and we are honored to be on your team. Look through the Positive Parenting playlist for some more ideas. I think you would also love the Parenting Power-up Audio Course that my wife Vicki and I just recorded. Get a free pre-listen here: parentingpowerup.com DrPaul

[@nataliedyck8312]

Hi Carla X, check out "direction with dignity". it is amazing teaching and has been taught many decades, with easy how to and what to say empowering you and reduces stress for everyone. it has 6 sessions, somewhat long but very worth it. kzbin.info/www/bejne/fKPdeaJ5lKqAhqM

[@sneham6586]

Loved point 6.. Great tip..

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, Sneha Amin. Thank you for watching.

[@tamif64]

What about a grandparent….. I’m a grandmother and I’m always saying”Be Careful” ! It’s harder for a grandparent then A parent! 😂Help ! Lol

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

T.D.F., I love being a grandparent. The message is the same to the child whether it is said by a parent or grandparent.

[@jarlfenrir]

9:30 My child then proceeds to eat like a two spoons and claims he is full now :P

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

So, when he finishes what is on the plate he can have dessert : ) If he is full, he doesn't need any food.

[@jarlfenrir]

@@LiveOnPurposeTVTeaching a child to overeat is also not a good idea, that's why I don't want to enforce "clean plate" rule...

[@VincentNoot]

Hey, great job on this video. Let me help you with this advice: For your next video, just remember that to make it better, practice makes perfect. But don't worry. You're okay. Just be careful when you talk to strangers.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks for the tips!

[@MsVictory626]

Omg I’ve said each and every one of these 🤦‍♀️

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Victoria, when we know better, we do better. Can't remember who said it, but it is true.

[@petarkolev6928]

Amazing video!!!!! I so wished I found about your channel sooner ;(

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Welcome! Glad you are here now, share with anyone else who could benefit.

[@butchieblock9118]

Rather than saying "I'm really proud of you", one should say "you should be really proud of yourself".

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I hear what you are saying Jeanne Carey. I am a little reluctant to tell someone else how they should feel. Feelings are natural and they are not wrong. Thanks for watching.

[@butchieblock9118]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV I guess I was thinking along the lines of not having them work, behave, perform, what have you, to appease YOU the parent, but having them be happy with THEIR OWN efforts. Thoughts?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I hear what you are saying, and I think that comes when they hear the positivity and internalize the message. It is a level of maturity and I congratulate you on thinking of getting your child to that point. It is definitely a higher level of emotional maturity.

[@Jorjamrs]

I say. The more you practice the more you know...

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

MS, very true.

[@JimmeyandRandi]

Did anyone else see the "Already WOKRING hard" come on the screen or was it just me??..lol..just a cool little grammar error I happen to notice. I know we all make mistakes but I just happen to notice it a little lol..great channel and videos though thanks for all u show us

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I did! Sent a note to the KZbin team, but they don't like to change things once the video is live. Says it changes the algorithms.

[@Eritb2288]

Omg! Little things have big impact.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

And... knowledge is power - thank's for watching Askalu! DrPaul

[@vandanad3786]

U r right doc...we can mold our words...I wanna ask u one question that when we should teach our child to say sorry for something wrong he did????

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Saying you're sorry and really connecting with the impact of our behavior on others are two very different things. It's more about stage than age - take a look here and you'll see what I mean: kzbin.info/www/bejne/Z4SpepZogdh7r6M DrPaul

[@Nicolas-qs5dn]

"I wish we'd never had you" LOL

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

That should NEVER be said, I agree.

[@john7180]

Well the "don't talk with strangers" and "We can afford that" got me worried since I started wanting to become dad. The way you said brings more effective thinking behaviours into circunstances my child or I might be. Thank you for the advice sir.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, John Roger, honored to be on your team.

[@gkiltz0]

My Mom: You don't want THAT! Her favorite when she doesn't want me to have something! Practice makes perfect Hurry up We can't afford that If you want that you better work hard! You will have to make your own money! Oh, that's just a STORY! She loved to use that one when I learned it from someone she didn't know well. Well, some people may do that but WE don't!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

gkiltz0, thank you for watching Live On Purpose TV. One of the things I have learned as a psychologist is that people do the best they can with the knowledge and resources they have at the time. Please try to have some compassion on your mother, and know that she is doing the best she knows how. Try to not let her shortcomings get you down. Do you think she would watch this video if you shared it with her?

[@MegaSudjai]

OMG "You're ok, it's ok..." by the ex-wife to our child at handover from her to me- you NAILED IT Bro! "Of course he's ok" would be my usual response. Duh.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

MegaSudjai, glad to have you at Live On Purpose TV.

[@777denmark]

As an adult, you should never call a child, a kid.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks for watching and commenting, Anne-Mette Howland.

[@shiftingbabe3947]

Practice makes progress 😊

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yes, it does.

[@mikail8010]

Genius

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Mikail, thanks for being at Live On Purpose TV.

[@ashleylawrence3468]

Did anyone notice the typo with “wokring?”

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yep, I did. Need to mention it to my KZbin team.

[@jrstow86]

This is awesome...

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, jrstow86. Honored to be on your team.

[@bam2431]

Crap. I say all these 2 my kids 🤦‍♀️

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

No worries BAM 24 - you're not done yet! DrPaul

[@lauravaldez3829]

Oh my me too ☹️. I feel anxious now.

[@karaa7595]

BAM 24 mom guilt. Ugh. It's all consuming lol.

[@andree824]

BAM 24 - Lol!! I think most of us do : )

[@_LifeIsGood]

Team Queen’ s Fearn Tucker and Bentley Forever why are you being mean? This guy is a psychologist that created this channel to help people. He doesn’t know everything, but he’s trying to help people raise better humans. He’s positive and uplifting and non-judgemental.

[@brandi5126]

I am the "be careful" monster. Lol I'm going to have to change it up.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Hi Brandi, glad you found value in the video. I wonder if the kids will notice you have "changed it up"?

[@dr.suryanarayanan9256]

Dr. Paul, great video. Am a big fan. At 2:50 there's a spelling mistake: "They're already woKRing hard..."

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks Surya - we don't catch them all obviously. Honored that you are watching so closely. DrPaul

[@dr.suryanarayanan9256]

Dr. Paul, you honour me by taking my nitpicking with such magnanimity. Not everyone is capable of taking criticism in such a professional fashion. My respect. Sorry for nitpicking, but as a medical practitioner and dentist, i'm trained to stumble over such things. You might need to have someone proofread the banners before upload, because (the devil is in the details) at 7:33 it says "#7 don'(?) talk to strangers..." What's fascinating is, is that it doesn't undermine the content one bit. I learned a lot about the mistakes i've been making as a father. Thanks to you. I have 3 kids from 2 marriages. So your videos cover everything in my children's lives from marriage to custody issues. A lot of the mistakes we make in life is probably because we don't listen enough and when talking often say hurtful stuff. We get pain and pass it on in a vicious cycle. Thanks for your help, we need so much more of you. Greetings from Germany, your colleague, Dr. Surya Narayanan

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks Surya - I appreciate your investment of time and energy into the channel! DrPaul

[@motherfudger6664]

I'm so glad the whole 'stranger danger' thing has become outdated. There's no way I could ever hope to keep my social butterfly from saying hi to every last humanoid sharing our oxygen. But teaching discernment is certainly more realistic.

[@shannersthered88]

I got the same problem with my little girl. She looooves people!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Shannon Ihnen, I love people, too, we just need to be careful. Thanks for watching.

[@dreamtoonofficialchannel]

The person reading this comment: I wish you great success, love, health, and happiness! ❤️ 👍😍😆

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thanks for your positivity.

[@victoriaflores2693]

I needed this ❤ I hope you are well

[@lunachiu8090]

Thank you for this video.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcom, luna chiu. Honored to be on your team.

[@yuezeng1518]

I would ask "can I offer my help?". If my son says "no". I would go back to my own business. And he would ask me "can you help?" eventually. LOL

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Yup, sometimes it just has to be their idea right? Thanks for watching Yue Zeng. DrPaul

[@charityalcott7455]

Love this ^^

[@crescentmoondesigns7515]

My mom says she's on a diet all the time it makes me feel insecure about my own weight sometimes even if am not that heavy

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Kind of a hidden message right? Thanks for watching Lori! DrPaul

[@leighleeblack9233]

U look heavy, maybe its ur conscious

[@rachh2007]

I have a daughter, and I am currently on a weight loss plan, I try to make sure she knows she's beautiful no matter what her size is, and that mom is just trying to be healthy, not "hot" or "skinny". She is a healthy weight, I would never tell her she needs to lose weight, even if she was overweight. I would gently encourage healthy choices, but balance by having a treat every once in awhile is okay, and when I have a treat I tell her I can because I want to and it's perfectly fine as long as I dont go crazy and have a lot of it. More than likely your mom is unaware of how her "journey " is affecting you. If you have an open dialogue with her, tell her how it makes you feel, maybe encourage her to not talk about it so much. You are a beautiful young lady, no matter what your size is, have a blessed day!

[@Bexks]

She's setting you up for a lifetime of weight worrying issues. Try and ignore her insecurities cause that's all they are.

[@Bexks]

@@leighleeblack9233 you sound mean, maybe its your heart. That's a kid!

[@ayanabenjamin376]

You know what I noticed? Avoiding these and trying the alternative words will require you to spend a lot of time and energy having conversations with your children. I think we often use these to keep things short, to carry on with our chores, to save time and energy.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Astute observation Ayana - I think you're right. We probably have to do a little more thinking and work a litter harder than we want to - but really not as much as we fear it will be. Also, you would probably like the Parenting Power-up Audio Course that's coming out soon. We have some specific tips and tricks for parents that you might find very helpful. Connect here: parentingpowerup.com - DrPaul

[@ayanabenjamin376]

Live On Purpose TV Thank you!

[@mevalevergas861]

"Chores" = checking our phones

[@novareality2964]

The purpose of these short comments is to keep it simple because children are based in egocentrism

[@nee-grow]

@@novareality2964 not to mention, mine had no time to answer. I ask... How was school today, answer... It was gay, see you dad

[@nebbialunabella8158]

So complicated to be parents. We all need a degree in psychology to handle the job. Then again are the psychologist perfect parents? I guess not. We can only try our best and give them love they need and forgive us about our mistakes. Life is not black and white and no one is perfect. Anyway thank you for your guide line.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

No one is perfect, psychologists included and especially me. Forgiveness and love are key to having great relationships, Nevialuna Bella.

[@amiensarabellis8391]

I agree no one is perfect. Being open to considering new ideas that can help us be better imperfect parents is realistic. Ideas may bring awareness.

[@eursvbmompreneur8960]

Oh ..hearing all these makes ME feel so guilty especially that i'm still coping with Post partum depression. It's really really difficult to become a Mom especially when Your husband doesn't support you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

No guilt, Eurosine Bantillo. Deal with the post partum first and try to find some support from a friend or group. Talk to your OB or midwife. Hang in there.

[@hiyathere599]

Eurs VB Mompreneur I have a husband that fights against me on raising a teenager . Had I known he would’ve turned out that way I would’ve divorced him b4 I had a child by him. Get out now while you can, you and your child will be better off in the long run.

[@advicewithkit]

It took you nine months to grow a child. Allow yourself time to learn and grow to be a better mom. No one us perfect. We learn as we go.

[@jbatts7189]

Hang in there. Talk to your husband and tell him how you need him to help. If he does great but if not maybe he's not the one for you

[@sk-tx9dr]

Agree

[@redwoodcottageart]

I love to say "practice makes progress!"

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Good one! DrPaul

[@redwoodcottageart]

Thanks! :-)

[@jenniferbarassi5411]

L.Croft I love that! I will make that change from practice makes perfect to practice makes progress! Thank you!

[@hamiedsalehi1141]

I have recently been listening to your videos and following your leads I have found your strategies useful on dealing with kids and teenagers I have them both . You are right and strongly agree with you that we should love our children thanks

[@abbysflipflops]

I say that too. Thank you, Duggar family lol

[@Greatgerd]

1) Great Job! 2) Practice makes perfect 3) You're ok? 4) Hurry up 5) I am on Diet 6) We can't afford that. 7) Don't talk to stranger. 8) Be careful 9) No Desert until you finish your dinner. 10) Let me help.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Good list, gerard Joseplik. Thanks for watching.

[@pragalvbhattarai8873]

Not the hero we deserved, but the one we needed

[@amink9569]

Thank you