Living authentically to find joy | ALICIA ESPINOSA | TEDxReigate

Too often, we chase external symbols of success without considering whether they truly align with our values and aspirations.
Alicia explains that by discovering our values and following them, we will live a life of genuine joy.
Our values act as a compass to help us navigate the journey of life. When we take the time to identify and understand what truly matters to us, we gain clarity on our beliefs, priorities, and aspirations. By aligning our actions and decisions with these values, we honour our true selves and foster a profound sense of fulfilment.
True happiness comes from within, and it's within your power to create a life that feels authentically yours. Alicia Espinosa's journey is a demonstration of the power of self-discovery and authenticity. Originally born in Panama, Alicia started her academic studies in Computer Science in Ukraine before continuing her Master’s degree in Materials Science at the Royal Institute of Technology in Sweden. With a strong foundation in technical research and project management, Alicia's career path led her into various roles within the corporate world.
In 2016, Alicia made a life-changing decision to pursue her passion for personal development, leadership and coaching. Drawing on her own experiences, Alicia founded the "RISE & SHINE" program, aimed at helping individuals develop a life that feels good on the inside, not just one that looks good from the outside. Through personalized coaching and mentorship, Alicia guides her clients to align their actions with their core values, empowering them to live authentically and with purpose. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@gemi10togood]

I'm a big fan of TEDx talks and I hear this so much, about living authentically and how that brings the most joy. It makes so much sense and I feel like I am doing this to an extent but I haven't achieved much... I haven't really figured out what I'm passionate about and so while I'm fairly joyous when she said "is this all that life has to offer?" I don't know... I really felt that. I'd like to make more of an impact while still remaining authentic.

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! What can you do today to start moving forward with the knowledge, resources, skills, and awareness you have? Just start where you are, and you'll find out more as you move along. Finding your passion and making an impact while staying authentic is a journey, and every small step counts. Keep exploring, stay curious, and trust that your path will become clearer as you go. Believe in yourself!

[@mtrc8]

“True happiness comes from within” - couldn’t agree more. We spend so much time chasing external success and forget what truly matters.

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Absolutely! It's easy to get caught up in chasing external markers of success and overlook what truly matters to us. True happiness really does come from within, from living authentically and aligning with our core values. What are some things you do to focus on what truly matters to you? It's great to hear how others navigate this journey!

[@mtrc8]

@@AliciaCEspinosa truth - bless you

[@dylanparker4404]

The part about making a change to welcome something new into life was spot on. Change is hard but necessary.

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

I'm so glad that resonated with you! Change is definitely challenging, but it's such an important step in welcoming new opportunities and growth into our lives. Embracing change, even when it's difficult, can lead to some of the most rewarding experiences.

[@erikashik]

The concept of values being a compass is such a great metaphor. It really made me think about what guides my decisions

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

I'm glad the metaphor of values as a compass resonated with you! It's a powerful way to think about how our values guide our decisions and help us stay true to ourselves. What are some of the values that act as your compass in life? It's always insightful to reflect on what guides us and keeps us on track.

[@IamtheTechPrincess]

I felt so connected to her story about feeling lonely and empty despite external success. I think it's a much more common struggle than what is talked about so it's really cool to see someone opening up about it!

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

@lamtheTechprincess, Thank you for sharing that my story resonated with you. You’re absolutely right; feeling lonely and empty despite external success is something I believe many people go through, but it’s often not discussed openly. I’m glad I could bring some light to this common struggle.

[@therealbobhunter]

The snowy scene in Sweden sounded so peaceful yet poignant. Her storytelling is really vivid!

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you so much! That snowy scene in Sweden holds a special place in my heart, and I’m glad it resonated with you. I am from a warm country (Panamá), and after many years in Sweden (and some years in Odessa), I learned to love the snow and the cold weather (although I think anything below 25 degrees Celsius is cold🤪). There’s something about the quiet beauty of the snow that makes those reflective moments even more powerful. I’m thrilled that the storytelling came through vividly for you!

[@dizzeedean]

Her coach sounds like a tough but kind mentor. Sometimes we need that push to see things from a different perspective.

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

You're absolutely right! My coach had a way of being both tough and kind, which was exactly what I needed. That balance really helped me to see things from a new perspective and make the changes I needed. Sometimes, it takes that kind of push to break through our own barriers. He was my coach for 5 years. Have you ever had someone like that in your life?

[@oscarnotreallyawiener]

I'm not sure if I believe in values-based living as much as she does, but her passion is undeniable and inspiring, made for a great talk.

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you for your honest feedback! I really appreciate your kind words about my passion-that’s something I deeply believe in and it’s wonderful to hear it came through in the talk. Values-based living isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach, and I understand it might not resonate with everyone in the same way. I’m glad you found the talk engaging, and I hope it offered some food for thought on your own journey.

[@carlyberstani]

I love the bit around the 5:30 mark where she says she decided she was worthy enough to invest in. It's sad that we don't all have that mentality towards ourselves from the get go, and that we have to work towards feeling that way about ourselves but it's wonderful when you see or hear people doing that work

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you for your thoughtful comment! It’s true, many of us struggle to see our own worth and it often takes time and effort to get there. The journey to self-worth is a powerful one, and recognizing that we deserve to invest in ourselves is a crucial step. It’s a continuous process, but every step forward is a victory.

[@Blue-Thrill-Bonzo]

To me leading an authentic live is about living honestly, that's the only way for it to make sense without contradictions to the self. It's not always joyous but it's consistent and keeps me grounded in who I am.

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you for sharing your perspective! Living an authentic life is indeed about honesty and staying true to oneself, even when it's challenging. It’s that consistency and groundedness that create a solid foundation for true fulfillment. While it might not always be joyous, it provides a sense of inner peace and alignment with who we truly are.

[@lucy-diamonds]

I never thought about how our values could clash with each other. Finding a balance really does seem important.

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Absolutely, it’s a concept that often goes unnoticed (at least that what the case for me). Our values can sometimes be in conflict, and finding a balance between them is crucial for inner harmony. It's all about understanding which values are most important in different situations and making thoughtful choices.

[@lilibetdasterdon]

Love the points she makes about how achievements don't necessarily fill us up as humans. This is something I wish I'd learnt sooner in life.

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you for your comment! I'm so glad the message resonated with you. I sometimes wish I'd learned this sooner in life too. The great thing about awareness is that it allows us to make better choices moving forward. So now that I know that I can choose who decides my dignity - I decide it!. This is an ongoing journey. Even now, I have to remind myself that my dignity is in my hands, not in my possessions or what others think of me or in other people´s hands. I practice this affirmation (specially when I forget my worth and start comparing myself to others): "I decide my dignity, no other person or circumstance does that." Good luck!

[@AlpaPandya]

Loved this! Our values are the core of who we are and listening to you Alicia has really got me rethinking my own values and if any I need to add to set firmer boundaries. Definitely food for thought. Thank you! x

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm thrilled to hear that my talk resonated with you and got you thinking about your values and boundaries. It's such an empowering process to reassess and reaffirm what truly matters to us. Setting firmer boundaries is a great way to honor your values and protect your well-being. What are some values you're considering emphasizing more in your life?

[@miraramona]

I’ve always struggled with comparing myself to others. This talk gave me some good tips on how to focus on my own path, thank you.

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Hi @miraramona, I'm so glad the talk resonated with you! Remember, it's a powerful step to recognize when comparison is holding you back. When you are aware, then you can do something about it. Focusing on your own path, your core values is a journey, and every bit of progress you make is something to be proud of. Keep reminding yourself that your journey is unique and valuable, and trust that you're exactly where you need to be. You've got this!

[@brandawoodword]

I think authenticity is an unavoidable process that just comes for us as we age. To do it in a way that brings joy seems like the most logical option, maybe not the easiest though. I appreciate Alicia's words and perspective on how to do this.

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you for sharing your insights! I completely agree that authenticity often becomes more important as we age. While embracing authenticity can be challenging, especially when it means going against the crowd (sometimes even people we love a lot), it truly does bring a deeper sense of joy and fulfillment.

[@brandawoodword]

@@AliciaCEspinosa thank you for replying, means a lot

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

@@brandawoodword❤

[@honeyissweetforme]

her emphasis on living a life that feels good on the inside is such a refreshing take. Tired of just focusing on appearances.

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you for sharing that! I completely relate to being tired of just focusing on appearances. It took a lot of courage for me to make that change and start living a life that feels good on the inside. It’s not always easy, but it’s so worth it to align with what truly matters. I’m glad this message resonated with you-here’s to all of us embracing what feels genuinely good from within!

[@GingerTeaAddict]

Her experience with bullying and self-doubt was so moving... It’s a reminder of just how much our early experiences shape us.

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you for your thoughtful comment. It’s true-our early experiences can have a profound impact on shaping who we become. While those challenges with bullying and self-doubt were tough, they also played a big role in my journey towards self-discovery and growth. I hope my story serves as a reminder that, no matter what we go through, we have the power to rewrite our narrative and find strength within ourselves.

[@ThePoetopia]

What her coach says around the 7:40 mark is everything people need to know about why authenticity is so important.

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you for highlighting that moment! My coach's advice about respecting our own frame and avoiding constant comparison really resonated with me as well. It's a powerful reminder that staying true to ourselves is essential for maintaining clarity and direction in our lives. When we focus on our own path, we can live more authentically and fulfill our unique potential.

[@t-bonebranson]

her journey from Panama to Ukraine to Sweden is incredible. Shows how diverse experiences shape our understanding of ourselves.

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you for your kind words! My journey from Panama to Ukraine to Sweden has indeed been filled with diverse experiences that have deeply shaped my understanding of myself and the world. Each culture and challenge along the way has taught me invaluable lessons and broadened my perspective

[@wiltjackson]

I've heard a lot of stuff about authenticity over the last couple of years but never in the context of a disruption... that's a really interesting mindset to have.

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you! I am happy you find it interesting,

[@OurViableWorld]

I agree embracing authenticity can really transform your life and it was awesome to hear how she found the courage to break free from comparison and pursue her true values.

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you for your kind words! Embracing authenticity truly is transformative. Breaking free from comparison and pursuing my true values was a challenging but incredibly rewarding journey. It's amazing how much clarity and fulfillment come from living in alignment with who we truly are.

[@OurViableWorld]

@@AliciaCEspinosa thank you!!!

[@petermitchell3475]

Loved her method for finding out what actually important to you. Will be trying it for sure

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you. I encourage you to test for some weeks😀

[@petermitchell3475]

@@AliciaCEspinosa I am and will thanks

[@maymaylui3rd]

The story about loneliness and self-discovery resonated deeply with me. It takes real courage to confront those feelings and seek help but this story speaks to how that change has to start from within

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Confronting feelings of loneliness and embarking on a journey of self-discovery does indeed take a lot of courage. Recognizing that the change has to start from within is a powerful realization.

[@maymaylui3rd]

@@AliciaCEspinosa Thank you, and thank you for the wisdom shared in your talk!

[@someonednamessomeone]

omg her explanation of "firefighters" was so good and yes, I've known a few of those in my time.

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you, happy that you liked it. Don't let the firefighters extinguish the fire within you!

[@dino1416]

I've heard all this before but the examples she gives resonated with me in a way that it hasn't before. I've never really known how exactly to figure out those things that are important to me or my "values" to live by I guess

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you so much for your comment! I'm glad to hear that the examples resonated with you and helped make the concept of values more relatable. Figuring out what's truly important to us can indeed be challenging. A good starting point is to reflect on moments in your life when you felt the most fulfilled or proud. What values were you honoring in those moments? Additionally, by recalling situations that were unpleasant can also be insightful. What values were being compromised or ignored in those instances? Journaling and asking yourself questions like "What brings me joy?" or "What am I passionate about?" can help uncover your core values. This is a journey that has no end, and every step brings you closer to living a more authentic and fulfilling life.

[@yolandast]

I loved the exercise at the end. Closing my eyes and thinking about my deepest value was really enlightening, thank you.

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

I'm so glad you found the exercise enlightening! Taking the time to reflect on our deepest values can be a truly transformative experience. It's wonderful to hear that it resonated with you.

[@AnastasiaCostcalla]

Yes, comparing ourselves to others is really dangerous. I learnt about something called upward/downward comparison which is meant to be like a healthy way of doing it but even that was just a huge ego trap and really mentally unhealthy.

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! You're right; comparing ourselves to others can be really harmful. It's interesting that you mention upward/downward comparison. While upward comparison is meant to be a healthier way to be inspired, it can still become an ego trap and affect our mental health. The key is to focus on our own journey and values, and to measure our progress against where we started, not against others. Plus, it's difficult to compare ourselves to others because it's like comparing an apple to a pear, we don't know their values, conditions, or resources. I believe that the best approach is to stay true to our own paths and find fulfillment based on what we value.

[@kotakgmasuk]

yes! love this

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you🙏❤️

[@ayaanthetruth]

Her experience is admirable for sure but a lot of people have trouble overcoming those kinds of deep-seated insecurities. Like just deciding to change isn't enough or even easy

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you for your thoughtful comment. You’re absolutely right-overcoming deep-seated insecurities is a tough and ongoing journey, and it’s not as simple as just deciding to change. It takes time, support, and often a lot of inner work. My own experience was filled with challenges, and I know firsthand how difficult it can be. Sometimes I wanted to go back to what it was. Not because it was right but because it was familiar. I believe that what’s important is to take even the smallest steps toward change and to be kind to ourselves along the way. Every little bit of progress counts, and no one has to go through it alone.

[@elaineward1925]

There is no other way!

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Couldn't agree more! Living authentically is the path that leads to true fulfillment and purpose.

[@Advengiss]

I'm curious about the RISE & SHINE program she mentioned. Sounds like it could be helpful for many people.

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

I'm so glad you're curious about the RISE & SHINE program! It's one of my passion project designed to help people reconnect with their values, build self-confidence, and take meaningful steps toward living a more fulfilling life. The program focuses on personal growth, resilience, and creating a life that truly feels good on the inside. I believe it could be really helpful for many people who are looking to make positive changes in their lives. I'd love to share more if you're interested!

[@themessimadetoday]

The idea of working with conflicting values like belonging and creativity is intriguing. It's true that fear of not fitting in can stifle creativity but then smothering your inner spark to try and conform does the same thing anyway... bit of a balancing act I guess.

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Absolutely, it is a bit of a balancing act! Working with conflicting values like belonging and creativity is indeed intriguing and challenging. It's about finding a way to honor both without compromising your core self. The fear of not fitting in can stifle creativity (I had this issue before), but as you said, conforming too much can also smother your inner spark.

[@themessimadetoday]

@@AliciaCEspinosa Yup, and this can really be amplified depending on where you are and what age you are. I hope for a future that lets people just explore all the sides of themselves without judgement or being "othered"

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

@@themessimadetodayagree🙏❤️

[@bjdogg]

While I appreciate the message on overcoming comparison, it's not always easy to just 'disrupt' old habits. Especially when you're surrounded by people who just expect that same behavior of you

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You're absolutely right-disrupting old habits, especially those rooted in comparison, can be very challenging, especially when surrounded by people who expect you to continue in the same way. Change takes time and persistence.

[@aliayvance]

Isnt the word authentic overused?

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

I get where you're coming from-“authentic” is a word that’s definitely been used a lot lately. But despite its frequent use, the essence of being authentic-staying true to who we are at our core-is something that’s always relevant and powerful. Sometimes, words can feel overused, but the practice of living authentically is a lifelong journey that’s anything but ordinary.

[@aliayvance]

@@AliciaCEspinosa you know what those are really good points... I think I struggle sometimes to see the value in something if it's popular or and especially with something like authenticity it seems like a paradox, but you're right, it is still something personal to each of us

[@eleanorrigbywhatdoesitmean]

Ooh the part about "respecting our own frame" was pretty freakin' poignant. Definitely need to work on that.

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

I'm so glad that part resonated with you! Respecting our own frame is indeed a powerful concept. It's all about honoring our unique perspective and experiences, which can be incredibly liberating.

[@eleanorrigbywhatdoesitmean]

@@AliciaCEspinosa it is, thank you

[@justanormalboyreallynormal]

Noooo ahh man the way she talks about being bullied just for wanting to go and live in London absolutely wrecked me. Why are kids such little azzholes?

[@AliciaCEspinosa]

Thank you so much for your comment. I really appreciate your empathy. At that time, my friends and family couldn't see my dream as realistic because I didn't have the resources. This is the thing-sometimes we stop ourselves because we think we lack what we need. But the truth is, we are often more resourceful than we realize. I know that when you live in difficult conditions, dreams can feel like fairy tales. However, believing in our dreams and finding creative ways to pursue them can make a huge difference. We have more potential and resourcefulness than we often give ourselves credit for.