Living with Narcissistic and Borderline Personality Disorder ft.

Join Xannie, Katja, and Mo as they interview Kylee Rackam. Kylee, a mental health content creator, opens up about their personal journey living with both narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personality disorder.
In this thought-provoking conversation, Kylee sheds light on the similarities and differences between their experiences with these two disorders. Together, the group explores the challenges of stigmatized labels and considers the effectiveness of using the term "narc abuse".
Don't miss this enlightening discussion that will challenge your perceptions and provide valuable insights into the complexities of personality disorders
Check out Kylee's channel ‪@KyleeRackam‬
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About Us:
The BPD bunch is a KZbin talk show, featuring a panel of people who are in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Each week we discuss BPD-related topics to help give you insights into the different ways BPD can be expressed in someone’s life. We also cover the different paths we followed on our recovery journeys to give you hope and direction for your own ❤️ Thank you for being on this journey of healing with us!
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Disclaimer:
Although several of our panelists work in the mental health field, we are all coming to you as people in functional recovery from BPD, and are not here to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Instead, we hope that by sharing our stories and what was helpful for us, you can gain some insight and direction into your own recovery ❤️‍🩹

[@KyleeRackam]

Thanks for having me. 🖤

[@noturbo]

thought it was you in the thumbnail 🥰

[@yomijam7712]

Halfway through... but I actually love your eyebrows... first thing I thought when I started watching your channel

[@shawnosborn8887]

Thank you. I think it takes guts to admit to the world about your diagnosis. The stigma is real.

[@AyudaMeDios94]

Hi Kylee! I'm super curious, how do you feel (and what do you think) about your psych (to use the term you use to talk about her) saying she had been assessing you for NPD for months after you brought it up? You seem very open to the diagnosis, what factors do you think led up to you feeling this open to the diagnosis (e.g. I'm curious to hear more about your relationship to therapy)? It appears like you've met someone you very much trust. Interested to hear more if you'd like to expand!

[@mari87310]

Wow, Kylee is so honest, articulate and refreshing. I'm recently diagnosed with BPD, and feeling really inspired hearing from all in recovery from a PD, and I find hearing about the overlaps fasinating. Thank you for sharing

[@user-no2mz9hl4f]

I totally agree! I think it’s really helpful to have representation of people’s experience with various mental disorders - especially to show that treatment and recovery are possible.

[@user-no2mz9hl4f]

This is such a great conversation! I really appreciate you dispelling some of the prevalent myths about NPD, de stigmatising the disorder itself, and sharing how it absolutely is possible to treat NPD. I too had bought into the narrative that NPD was basically untreatable because I’d always heard that a symptom of the disorder was thinking that the problem was always someone else’s fault, and that lack of self awareness and desire to change were classic NPD signs. But this interview has given me a new perspective, and I think it’s very important for people to know that NPD is treatable and that people with this diagnosis are capable to change. Like any mental illness, there will always be those who are in self denial or resistant to treatment, but that isn’t exclusive to NPD, and I hope to hear more stories like these.

[@mellowray561]

Thank you for the de stigmatization of both disorders. Also so many people don’t think about the pain we go through with having a personality disorder. They act like we chose it. No one would choose it but….we do rock.

[@kaberry4539]

Regarding relationships with someone whose choices were sometimes soul crushing to me yet they didn't see any problem with their choices. I wanted them to find away to treat me better, that was my boundary. I finally had a therapist pose a new way to make a different choice when I was uncomfortable. I set the boundary that if their choices are effecting me negatively, I would leave to go to a hotel for the night. I reassured them I wasn't mad, not judging, just needed to let them have their choice while I make a choice for myself. (I lived in a city 250 miles away and would travel to their house when I was off from work.) I ended up being able to leave this relationship due to making these new choices and coming to the realization I could leave with no regrets. 14 days ago this person with whom I had a 24 year relationship died of a heart attack. 23 years of me excusing their choices at the expense of my mental emotional health. 1 year of me making new choices which lead to me being able to love them, yet not need to be with them.

[@KrishnaEverson]

I love Kylee, they hate Kylee get is ridiculous. Thank you to you all! Its valuable.

[@Christina_Jane_Cox]

I agree with Katja's closing statement to Kylee - what you are doing is courageous, and you are doing a great job of challenging people's preconceptions of what NPD is, how it manifests, and that there is a difference between NPD and being an abuser. Thank you for telling your story and offering your insight!

[@ralphholland1313]

hehe put me down for a couple of Help! mugs!! 🙂

[@pabloes.4945]

The people forget that a bpd person can have traits of other PD traits. Like HPD, NPD, or APD or even of the other clusters.

[@shawnosborn8887]

Who forgets?

[@pomb4946]

I think Kylee looks so much like Joan Jett! I hope she takes it as the compliment it’s meant to be.

[@macksies420]

ayee kylee. their way of talking about having bpd and npd helped me realize i do have narcissistic traits and im talking about it in therapy rn ❤

[@r.o.b.480]

Hello everyone. Hope you all are doing well.

[@noturbo]

man thats my huge question i been asking myself why do i stay in abusive situations 👀 (trauma bond) but why am i susceptible to that? i like seen it early and still stayed , i remember her asking me if i think we have trauma bonded i mean she knew what she was doing, it was like the worse it got the harder i tried to love her , i can remember talking to a therapist and sticking up for her , oh she has this and that etc 🙄 107 days NC i still miss her its crazy 😀 i been asking myself for years do i have NPD the whole thing is so confusing to me. so the sicker i see she was/is the same is true of me i went to the end with her and is it over lol we been apart longer and went back um but everytime its worse so i really need to heal my stuff and let her go so weird caring about someone that hurts you. i been diagnosed with CPTSD & OCD and they sure can look like what you are talking about today. i mean i am ok i just put a tattoo on my arm at 3am lol Thanks for putting this up guys it sure helps.

[@noturbo]

Xannie like your head wear 💗

[@BBFCCO733]

This is f triggering. My father is a sociopath, spend his entire life tearing me down and it just never stops. I tried building a relationship with my brother, he absolutely destroyed it. I was unable to form bonds with my family members because of his paranoia, his need to be the center of attention and lack of ability to connect and therefore seeing authentic connection as somehow threatening. I have BPD traits and I am capable of love but I also live with a sense of emptiness that comes and goes and the fact that my father has created this life for me-I can't access my family unless its on his terms makes me full of rage and hatred for anyone who says they have npd. I just hope she is able to work on herself because these people are so damaging especially when they they choose to point the finger at others.

[@veterangaming9511]

I want the Help! mug

[@veryimportantperson3657]

I commend all of you for your frank discussions of your struggles, including the lady who discusses her NPD with such clarity. Thank you for this. I do have a strong criticism however. I do not think a class of potential abuse perpetrators has any business gatekeeping the terms that abuse victims use to describe their abuse. If you're not one of the people who was abused, then what they call their abuse is NONE of your business. You're not mental health professionals, and you're not the victims. So you don't have the standing to really advance an opinion. I think your critique of people who suffer at the hands of those with narcissistic personality disorder, and whether or not there actually is such a thing as "narc abuse" is really egregiously entitled and that you should not wade into territory where you potentially invalidate the experiences of victims.

[@xannibelle]

I appreciate your criticism, thank you for sharing! It’s important to recognize that invalidation is not always bad. It can let us know when we are behaving in ways that are not effective. As a victim of abuse myself, I believe we have a responsibility not to use our abuse as a free pass to make stigmatizing generalizations about entire groups of people. The term “Narc Abuse” has become a part of the current pop-psychology scene and is often thrown around irregardless of an actual NPD diagnosis in the perpetrator. From what I’ve observed, it ends up furthering the stigma that those with NPD are inherently abusive, and makes it even less likely that those who actually have the disorder will seek treatment. If I were to start making stigmatizing comments that lumped a bunch of strangers in with my abuser, I hope someone would have the courage to set me straight. ❤

[@jmdz]

Can no one have a conversation about BPD without including gender generalizations being thrown around with no scientific data to support the claimed stereotypes? Guess not.

[@markcorrellii2002]

The reason a concept has become generalized is because there have been numerous studies indicating it to be true. According to the DSM-5, 75% of people diagnosed with BPD are women and 75% of people diagnosed with NPD are men. Are those percentages too low to make the generalization that more women are diagnosed with BPD than men and more men are diagnosed with NPD than women?

[@jmdz]

@@markcorrellii2002 Cool, but generalizations about how men and women with bpd and npd behave were made in this video that your stats don't relate to. Nor were any stats provided at the time of the people making the generalizations.

[@jmdz]

@markcorrellii2002 Some people don't identify as either, and are looking for a conversation that doesn't focus on that. Can you possibly fathom that?

[@karolinanie5946]

​@@jmdzHowever, most identify as male or female, try not to make a drama out of the fact that majority does not adapt to minority, it's getting ridiculous

[@veryimportantperson3657]

people were reporting their subjective observations. you don't need to have scientific data to discuss your observations, stfu