Lord of Patriarchy's Hot Takes on Cooking

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Twitter - @popculturejoke
Intro "Maizelbub" art by Dan Rossi
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Twitter - @danrossidraws
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[@talcastle4656]

"Why are you drenching everything in olive oil?!?!" Because olive oil slaps, next question

[@feistygheisty]

His name is fucking Mario of course he likes Olive oil.

[@jackjohnson1128]

If that wasn't enough, he then said to use peanut oil. Peanut, over olive, for flavoring reasons. Dave is such trailer trash.

[@sevens3]

Dave unironically asks why you season something, the surprise of absolutely NO ONE. x'D

[@Unfiltered_Hottakes]

How does Dave know when his food is done if none of his clocks are right? The microwave beeps

[@thomaslance5428]

lol

[@lulul0l039]

*claps*

[@jaymorgan8013]

His mom shouts "YA HOT POCKETS ARE DONE!"

[@hughiegibson1716]

Lord of cringe: why are you using Olive oil on a burger, put it on a salad. Also lord of cringe: why are you putting olive oil on the lettuce. 😂

[@SnakeMan448]

Does LoP not realise that a professional chef knows what he's doing? Cooking from scratch is all about figuring out what works and what doesn't, and someone like Mario has had years to learn.

[@Sydney_With_A_Why]

That's the latest high end hospitality industry scam, the management cuts itself in on a percentage of tips for events, and sometimes in tip pools. They found out most high end tipped employees make more than most management, they had to "fix" it.

[@wagrhodes13]

@Legndofphonix can you start putting the original stream date of these somewhere in the description? Sometimes it would be helpful for knowing the context of when he is saying this stuff.

[@Thunderjames]

I miss you covering Lord of Cringe

[@randomnameseventytwo1307]

i missed LoC honestly

[@ari_anon2228]

def my fav lolcow

[@Thunderjames]

@@ari_anon2228 facts

[@EmpressOfCatsup]

"Shepard's pie...isn't easy" ??? It's literally a casserole, the easiest thing in the world to make. I've made vegan shepard's/cottage pie many times, and it wasn't difficult in the slightest.

[@lactofermentation]

Shepherd's pie is one of those things that's easy to make okay, but much harder to make amazing. Especially if you're super picky about textures.

[@smithblack5945]

Jake overrates his cooking skills by A LOT. Still a better cook than Dave though.

[@tamil8108]

I was gonna say the same thing. It really isn't hard. Infact it's a dish known by many of us poor white folk. My own personal fav for comfort food. Unfortunately I am cutting carbs so i can make it with taters. But yeah, - it's way fucking easy.

[@tamil8108]

@@lactofermentation Fun fact about the texture- add a few drops of LSD to it and no one is gonna give a shit. 0.o Just joking of course- that is my own personal fav LSD food, I wouldn't do it for others.

[@Nekulturny]

I would say its not hard to make, but its hard to make WELL. And its exactly for the reason Gordon Ramsay complains about Shepherd's Pie, if you don't do it right, its a greasy mess.

[@wynngwynn]

Red Flag for dating is men who side with the accused in sexual harassment cases as default stance.

[@Gloomdrake]

I understand that Lord of Patriarchy doesn’t know how to cook, but why is he getting angry that someone else does?

[@lactofermentation]

Reminds him of his own failings. Also he's afraid of flavor.

[@jackjohnson1128]

Because, for whatever reason, he's tied his fragile manhood to cooking. Espcially meat-related stuff. He fell really hard for the stereotype of men being skilled with steak. Dave learned about the term "smoke point" one day and really, really wants people to know that he did - even if he has no idea how to really apply it.

[@Fluffkitscripts]

Mario Batali? Isn’t that the one who got MeToo’d and responded with a brownie recipe? Or am I thinking of a different dubious celebrity chef?

[@witchypoo7353]

I think that’s the guy

[@PrettyH8Mach1n3]

Yep. So just all around cringing here.

[@L3Gutierrez]

Chud of Patriarchy looks like the type of mans to tell Gordon Ramsey he doesn't know what he's doing

[@flobwad]

I would pay Big Money to watch Gordon Ramsey react to Dave’s... “Cooking”.

[@rafaelalmada723]

As a mediterranean, I'm offended by Dave's disdain for olive oil. I use it for most things. Though for fried things, you would want refined oil, and the extra virgin oil is used for seasoning.

[@__Andrew]

I think Dave has only ever bought cheap olive oil. Spend a bit more, spend some time finding a brand you like, and olive oil is the best thing on earth. Ill even straight up just dip white sandwich bread into it i love olive oil so much.

[@Ireallywouldrathernot]

If Dave thinks that is burnt I'm not sure he's even eaten a burger.

[@rileywebb4178]

Or seared a steak. If there is not smoke you are doing it wrong.

[@owenbowe]

burger meat doesn't look as charred as chicken or pork because of beef being darker than them so they might've not noticed how dark they get their burgers when they cook them. or they're just shite at cooking and honestly that seems to be the most logical conclusion

[@chibiteacup434]

I loved this, I would love more clips like this or where you just talk about cooking in general

[@bloodmoon0746]

I have a new appreciation for olive oil because it triggers him so😁

[@lactofermentation]

Dave, fresh mozzarella doesn't get gooey melty, bro. How can he be so wrong about EVERYTHING cooking related? I mean, everything. Every. Last. Thing.

[@epsilon-eleven]

The only "mozzarella" he's familiar with is the cheese on fast-food delivery pizza.

[@mountainhun]

I guess the same people who rant about feminism or whatever without knowing what they're talking about also have the confidence to rant about cooking without knowing what they're talking about. :P good roast Jake (or as that guy would say, good burn. Cause apparently anything more intensive than a microwave is apparently burning it. XD

[@andyopheim5662]

This person is the definition of "ant-sjw neck beard"

[@saininj]

Jake, I hope you know I live for these segments.

[@blitzwinters5687]

Jesus Christ, Dave. I'm not even a cook and I know peanut or grapeseed oil would have completely ruined the flavor of everything else.

[@lactofermentation]

Grapeseed wouldn't do much, it's pretty neutral. That would mean it doesn't add any flavor when you really want a lot of good flavor. It's good in like a salsa verde cremosa when you don't want the flavor of the oil to interfere with the delicious veggies, but a rich, mustardy pork burger? Ugh.

[@PaladinLostHour]

Dave's a half idiot. Avocado oil would have been the one of choice, but burning the ever-living shit out of EVOO wasn't great either.

[@LordofPatriarchy]

They're flavorless dipshit

[@blitzwinters5687]

@@LordofPatriarchy Grapeseed oil might be, but peanut oil sure as hell is not. Besides, not supporting flavor can ruin the over all taste just as badly as contradicting flavors, in some cases.

[@PaladinLostHour]

@@LordofPatriarchy Peanut oil is definitely not flavorless, dipshit.

[@cinemacyborg2014]

Dave giving Mario food advice is like me giving steph curry advice on his jump shot Also that looks so delicious omg

[@PaladinLostHour]

Just as a culinary guy....an aioli is just an emulsification of olive oil. If you ever order North African food, you'll get a aioli that's just olive oil and a million garlic cloves. Since he had an acid, olive oil, and salt, Dave was kinda right. Generally, people confuse mayo and aioli (mayo has eggs) and nobody really cares that much, but you were wrong on this one. Also, I'm kinda with Dave on the olive oil - you definitely want fat for heat transfer, that was right - but that was way past the smoke point of that EVOO, so now you're oxidizing the shit out of it, and you're getting nasty polar compounds. Considering how patchy it was, I think that's more carbonized burnt oil than maillard meat. Dave's wrong about saying it's charcoal, but that black flaky stuff on the surface of the burger is probably pretty bitter.

[@punity320]

What I find annoying is Mario trying to "italian" up this bruger but just dousing everything in EVOO. He should know better but I guess makes for an on brand video.

[@PaladinLostHour]

@@punity320I thought it was kind of shite too - If he really wanted italian, he should have added prosciutto and pine nuts like a Braciole, or fennel, crushed rosemary and other herbs like it was porchetta.

[@PrettyH8Mach1n3]

@@punity320 i agree. There were so many beautiful Italian ingredients, combinations, flavor profiles, that he could've used instead

[@PrettyH8Mach1n3]

Good to see someone mention this. I thought this was the case about the smoke point, char, bitterness, aoli, etc. but I am only a casual. Perhaps I just feel bad that I agree with Warcorpse666/LoP/ Dave about anything, but I guess a broken clock is right twice a day.

[@hughiegibson1716]

Jake you are dipping into my area now. I’m a chef of 20 years. Haha and funny you mentioned shepherd’s pie, I’m making it tonight

[@tuntemon]

I'd love to try making this with a plant based burger. I personally only uses olive oil because I like the slightly bitter taste. Butter is just too greasy. If Dave just did some experiments he could make it work. But we've seen his skills before.

[@rileywebb4178]

Also, olive oil handles high temperatures well, contrary to some people's opinions.

[@tuntemon]

@@rileywebb4178 nice, thanks. didn't know that. 😊

[@PrettyH8Mach1n3]

@@rileywebb4178 I keep hearing mixed things about olive oil being appropriate for high heat or not. I think I just go with extra extra virgin for no heat situations and other olive oils or blends for high heat situations to be safe.

[@rileywebb4178]

@@PrettyH8Mach1n3 yeah but the bad things about olive oil and high heat are normally unsourced and opinion and the things about how it is fine at high temperature are normally sourced and reasoned. Just try it yourself, but also there's no reason to use expensive extra virgin olive oil for most high heat things unless you like the flavor of olive oil.

[@PrettyH8Mach1n3]

@@rileywebb4178 off the top of your head, is there a video that summarizes reasoning about your conclusions well? I think i watched Adam Ragusea's video on it, but for some reason I was still a bit anxious. Perhaps I will give that another watch and search papers on the matter again if my database access hasn't lapsed. Yeah I just find that extra virgin smokes easily and then imparts a bitter taste. I'd rather save it for thr fresh uses and use something that won't have as much smoke and bitter taste of I must cook on a high heat for stir fries, broiling, roasting, etc.

[@coletrickle1775]

06:00 Ummmmmm, a smoker is not a pan on a stove.

[@holligames8136]

I mean with the amount of oil, for me it often comes down to kalories, more oil basically always tastes better. It just carries flavours really good.

[@danielmiller4015]

I was expecting Dave to start complaining about the kaiser roll. "I have to cut the fucking bun too? Do I look like a Frenchman? Fuck that, you're supposed to just slam it between two pieces of Wonder Bread and drown it in ketchup!"

[@deadpoolpanda4513]

Real Chad Jake vs virgin Lord of cringe that can't cook

[@Vermillion_Treezzz3113]

My mom had this amazing recipe for acorn squash where you put spices and pecans together with your squash meat after you've baked your squash in a pan with water for about 2 hours in the oven, and it was delicious. If I ever find a similar recipe or can remember the spices her recipe called for, I'd love to make it again sometime.

[@JoeDirtisawsome]

"wait you season your food?"-Lord of patriarchy

[@TimeForDunston]

Is Dave good at anything he does? I would eat my own puke before I ever ate Dave's cooking.

[@faestark4898]

Oh no not more cooking with cringe

[@faestark4898]

Also jake you fuckin rock my guy. Keep it up

[@riffler24]

Now I love olive oil to a distressing degree, but I would agree he does go a bit heavy on the olive oil. That said, we're talking "maybe go slightly less on the bun" and "oiling the lettuce seems weird" not what Dave is talking about

[@PrettyH8Mach1n3]

This

[@mushroomdestroyer]

Man I wish a had a kitchen vent like that. My kitchen fan does almost nothing.

[@prism_sigil93]

LoP looks like someone who thinks hot pockets are gourmet.

[@epsilon-eleven]

He probably thinks salt is spicy, too.

The best thing about Dave’s cooking channel is the intro. It says everything anyone needs to know about Dave Nordahl.

[@owenbowe]

the reason the paddy stayed together was not because of the skin they made on the burger it comes from the fact that they seasoned their meat mixture with salt before mixing. Doing this with ground meat allows it to bind and cling much better i.e. sausages and hotdogs.

[@randomnameseventytwo1307]

ALRIGHT DAVES BACK ...... he seems to have taken the election better then i assumed also ALL HAIL JAKE THE CORN KING LONG MAY HE REIGN

[@Gloomdrake]

Dude was already at rock bottom, Trump’s loss couldn’t hurt him that much. Hopefully he gets some help

[@randomnameseventytwo1307]

@@Gloomdrake he sounded really sad the last time i looked at a video(his election one) so i was honestly worried he was gonna be a statistic

[@flobwad]

Tomorrow is my 25th birthday. Watching you laugh Lord Of Cringe feels like an early birthday present. Thank you, Jake.

[@PrettyH8Mach1n3]

I love olive oil but I can empathize with chefs sometimes using in too high a volume for my taste/ gut. Too much fat can upset a person's gut, causing indigestion or heartburn. The oily texture might not be palatable to those or us that grew up using less oil. That being said. Dave knows shit all about flavor or respecting preferences.

[@PrettyH8Mach1n3]

Same goes for salt for me. Sometimes chefs use a lot and I remember tv chefs having to talk about conscious decisions to reduce their salt use. I grew up in a family that had to cut down its salt intake (indian food can often have a lit of salt) and we switched to lemon and lime juices and decreasing other spices to settle our issues with acid reflux and high blood pressure. We definitely have issues in the US for over salting and using too much fat in our food. That being said, seasoning a few times through the process makes sure the final product is properly seasoned throughout, and it tastes much better. Adding a bit of salt like this, some nice large flakes or granules of sea salt, really brings out a lot of flavor.

[@wynngwynn]

*Pulls toast out of the toaster* "FOR FUCK SAKE YOU MADE THE BREAD BROWN AND RUINED IT."

[@JoshuaWillis89]

Has Dave never eaten a caprese sandwich? Or a pizza? Mozzarella always solidifies after you cook it.

[@DavidWright1138]

I feel like he was aware of Dave's reaction and added the olive oil to the lettuce just to puss him off.

[@HalcyonAndroid]

my man hates olive oil

[@Nekulturny]

Why on earth would I want the cheese to "explode out"? Then it wouldn't be in the burger anymore, it would be a mess on the plate I'd have to scrape up with a fork.

[@catnerdadrian7601]

Olive oil killed his parents

[@jaymorgan8013]

Clockman has bad takes on everything. He's so confused and angry about everything. His poor mom having him living in her basement. Must be a nightmare!

[@Amadeus-ni3et]

I hate to be that guy, but lord of cringe is right about the olive oil. I also work in a restaurant and that guy used more olive oil than we do

[@Nekulturny]

Extra Virgin olive oil does have a lower smoke point than most oils, but also Dave, because you can't cook, you probably don't realize this, by the time it happens, the pork fat will start to render out and mix with it, so it won't turn bitter. This is why when you want to cook things in butter without it turning as brown you mix the butter with a higher smoke point oil.. And btw, that "low smoke point" of extra virgin olive oil, is still we're not talking 200 degrees, we're talking 375-400 degrees vs peanut oil which is about 450 degrees.. Its not as much of a factor as you're making it out to be Dave.

[@rdarkstorm8414]

Slice of tomato, slice of fresh mozz (sprinkled with salt), fresh basil. Shit is cash money.

[@owenbowe]

jake an aioli is not made using mayo an aioli is made with eggs oil and herbs/seasonings which is basically in itself a mayo but you don't use mayo to make an aioli.

[@scvnthorpe__]

Plain fresh mozz *is* nice tho ^^ Like for pizza I wouldn't really salt, burgers I'd just blend in a flavouring cheese and salt the meat as he is. But then I cook in a weird way. As long as we're not washing mince after we cook it or something absurd like that there are a lot of ways of thinking about flavour that work

[@scvnthorpe__]

(I mean in general don't mald about how other people cook shit, d a v e)

[@WeedgokuBonerhitler]

I've evolved beyond eating anything more real than McDonalds McChicken McNuggets but god damn that is one fine ass burger that sexpest done molested up.

[@HowToPnP]

Okay, NOW I get the whole "white people don't use spice" jokes!

[@chimpy_chi]

I've been binging on all these Dave's cooking episodes.. They are such horrific comedy

[@VinceGwhite]

I'm a vegetarian and I can tell you that that burger looks dope as fuck

[@tamil8108]

"Why!?" - this guy is giving cooking tips?

[@beardedBuzuki]

Totally not the point, but it is duck A l'orange, saying duck l'orange is like saying duck the orange, that's a pretty good character name but it is missing the "a" that means "with".

[@HumanIsError]

Why spice food says man who doesn’t understand the centuries of bland food and the booming industry that was the spice trade.

[@SLAUGHTERAMA]

And... what culinary school did YOU go to, DAVE?!?

[@kindtimetraveler]

Mario wears Crocs...exclusively. That’s all I need to know about him. 😒

[@zaqataq5146]

He's always got his ponytail, sweater vest, and khaki cargo shorts. I grew up watching him on TV in the 90s and I think he wore sandals all the time before crocs were invented.

[@epsilon-eleven]

Dave seems like the sort of guy who subsists entirely on Cheezits, McDonald's, & Mountain Dew. I wouldn't trust his advice on microwaving instant ramen, much less actual cooking.

[@guidestone1392]

Fetal Alcohol Father Time gets popped by Corn

[@jackjohnson1128]

Man, everything is burnt to Dave, huh? He's gotta be eating a lot of untoasted, raw, and undercooked food.

[@savi1314]

That is a lot of fucking olive oil

[@irrationalgeographic9953]

Wait, Dave has a Patreon and someone actually contributes to it.

[@wynngwynn]

Does that dude know that you can't eat rare pork ? Does he want it raw though?

[@PrettyH8Mach1n3]

I thought that he was indicating that when he said he wanted it juicy, but I think he wants it steamed the rest of the way through rather than on dry heat.

[@mushroomdestroyer]

Dave , a man who can't cook angry at people who actually know how to cook

[@dustinaspectrum6337]

This guy is a microwave chef. He knows nothing of fine dining.

[@lulul0l039]

Lord of Patties is negging on the pork burger like does women, purely out of spite.

[@animalxINSTINCT89]

Jake said Kappa-Cola and I cringed in Italian

[@avenger1340]

Just imagine what else Dave calls a "Juicy Lucy".

[@sameastman1293]

I'm second or first..idk..I'm stoned

[@Unfiltered_Hottakes]

Well done either way

[@Rensra]

Cringe-lord is a sad man... Looks at fine food and becomes enraged. He grew up on only Chicken Nuggies and Doritos crunched into Wypeepo Enchiladas...

[@8bitlatina845]

I’m of the opinion that this guy has never cooked before.

[@blacksteelgajeel7897]

Would pay to see Dave vs Mario on Iron Chef

[@jadetortellini6150]

Thank you so much for making this lol, since I wasnt able to get cyberpunk it was fun to see you just shit all over the snortling hollow himself. Hell, not exactly a pork belly burger, but i had some impossible™ meat in my fridge. Figured why tf not 🤷🏼‍♀️ I'll make a black pepper maple burger with some smoky pepper fontina cheese from my local kroger, grilled some potato bread in the pan after. Made a butter sauce for it. Shit was, mmm 👌I was high af too, it hit the spot let me tell you man.

[@MyHairyRoommates]

TIL Mario Batali likes women. Edit: I'll be literate someday

[@DSPHistoricalSociety]

Dave has patrons?? 🤔🤯😵

[@blitzwinters5687]

Did he call it a 'pocket burger' and say his kids invented it for him? That's just a Juicy Lucy, and those have been around for a long time.

[@blitzwinters5687]

Apparently I stand corrected on it being a Juicy Lucy, but I would very much appreciate having the difference between this burger and a Juicy Lucy explained.

[@NieroshaiTheSable]

@@blitzwinters5687 Mozzarella that isn't dripping down the sides and away from the burger? I like my cheese on or in, not next to.

[@DemiBirdDoes]

Lbr guys LOC has never had fresh mozzarella

[@DSPHistoricalSociety]

Dave is an adorable little curmudgeon.

[@LordofPatriarchy]

Okay since you won't debate me how about a cookoff

[@saininj]

Jake, he called you out. DO IT!!!

[@chrisvisser-fee2631]

Not to be the dude judging a professional chef but fuck me do people really use that much salt in their cooking? Like fuck me man it looks pretty tasty but I also don't want my God damn heart to explode. Like the salt is supposed to enhance the flavor of the other stuff not be the flavor itself.

[@lurtz8656]

Plus you're white heh haaaaaaaaa

[@radicaledward3783]

I wanna see mario vitali cook a meal using guacamole, gummy bears and ham.