Losing Control Of Your Mental Health

[@annie6515]

The dog flopped over 🤍

[@bbottoms]

Kills me 😂😂😂

[@flopy0coldmi]

Is that sugar? Sorry missed a couple of years of content

[@wolfferoni]

@@flopy0coldmi It's not Sugar, she's still around. She's light brown and has longer ears. She's in the 'Dating Outside Your Religion' video from a month ago. This dog's name is Phantom

[@frangg23]

Very brave of Allison to come out as having OCD. This is new information.

[@JoraAustin]

"But it was a clown party..." "Ohhhkay" "At a warehouse" "Aaallright" No no... he's got a point.😂

[@erwane.106]

That feeling of being aware of what is happening but still not able to stop it is the most frustrating thing

[@milkteamachine]

I know the “wow, I’m mentally ill huh” moments all too well and it started out being extremely scary, to being just inconvenient and frustrating as the years pass. So often I just want to be healthy.

[@ciaranclark5314]

I came for how BUFF Gabe is looking and stayed for the solid mental health insights! 💕💕

[@hanaeyoshida5163]

Hi Gabe and Allison! I've been watching Just Between Us for a few years, and I just wanted to thank you all for always being so open about your personal journeys with mental health and the help/strategies you've found. I've been living with severe clinical depression since 2016 and you've always made me feel so validated in my experiences. Recently my meds stopped working for me, and I've felt so frustrated with my body, like I've completely lost control again after all the work I've done in therapy and my personal life. This video was perfect timing to help me realize that I'm not the only one who has gone through this and that it's a temporary moment and setback instead of life-defining. Thank you for making me feel better❤

[@fibonacci227]

I love you both and I adore this format and ALSO I am obsessed with Phantom being completely zonked on Allison's lap this week and last week. Incredible 10/10 no notes.

[@flopy0coldmi]

What happened to sugar

[@fibonacci227]

@@flopy0coldmi as far as i know she's good! just chilling off camera

[@tellingyoustories]

Thanks so much for addressing these things like this, it really helps to think about how best I can support family and myself. A sign for me that I need to pay more attention to my mental health is when I can't figure out anything I want to do, other than scroll through my phone. My counselor makes a distinction between lizard brain and future-thinking brain. Lizard brain just wants to be warm and safe and eat and sleep and lounge, while future-thinking brain can envision wanting to do stuff so I can get to where I want to go. So when I can't think of where I want to go, I know my lizard brain is taking over more than I want. Because I don't want to sit on the couch and scroll on my phone.

[@allyson--]

I like this. What helps you exit full-lizard brain mode?

[@tellingyoustories]

@@allyson-- Meditation helps a lot. Also admitting to myself that I actually am not enjoying what I'm doing (scrolling on my phone and endlessly reacting to whatever it serves up to me), going on walks even when I don't see how that will help, out going outside at all. Also putting my headphones on and listening to music, which usually gives me energy so that I start doing things.

[@KennyGeez]

These are great! I am so happy you do the couch show again :) you two are amazing people!

[@Girlfin]

Phantom is an entire mood.

[@angijac18]

2 years ago my boyfriends ex wife broke into his house in the middle of the night and attacked me while I was sleeping. I remember wiping blood off my face while my boyfriend was holding her down on the floor calling the police. He is my first ever relationship. My mental health spiraled out of control for a long time after this incident, this took me over the edge. Finally 2 years later I have forgiven and am dedicated to a path of healing. I never want to lose my mental health again as I did after this incident. Please be kind to one another, we never know what someone is going through. Hate spreads hate so I had to put an end to the hate I was spreading from my trauma

[@NotPMHarper]

Signs my mental health needs some attention: 1) little things trigger my anxiety, 2) I get upset at myself more easily, 3) I make up scenarios in my head about why or how people in my life hate me, 4) I sleep more or require more naps to get through the day, 5) I'm unfocused at work and can't be productive, 6) I don't feel like doing the things I usually like doing (though usually if I can get myself to start, I do end up having a good time). Also, I've discovered how important sunshine is in my life lol. If it's cloudy for too long or it's cloudy when I'm having a hard time, it can feel like everything falls apart at the seams.

[@suzycloud]

Allison's "what?" bit will never get old lmao

[@michelathorns5387]

Hey Gabe, have you ever looked into mixed episodes/mixed states? I have Bipolar II as well and I still have them sometimes, but I used to struggle with them a lot. It has that same feeling of your body moving too fast for your mind, heading in a self-destructive direction. You can have the thoughts and feelings you would in depression, but the energy and willpower of mania, hence the increased suicidality and self-harm tendencies. That may not be what it is, but just in case this helps, I thought I'd let you know :) I hope you're doing well

[@risxra]

“But it was a /clown/ party. At a /warehouse/.” is the most LA shit I’ve ever heard

[@nataliexyz123]

I found out my partner betrayed me over the weekend and I can feel myself falling into a deep depression. It's incredibly difficult to eat, to sleep, to get any of my work tasks done and just get through the day. Really appreciate this talk today.

[@hanaeyoshida5163]

i'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this. that must be incredibly painful. you are doing so, so well for just getting through your day, it's completely ok to not be able to do all the stuff you usually do or feel like you're just going through the motions. wishing you peace and healing.

[@miraaa19]

that sounds really hard. I hope you have some people to reach out to, you don't have to do this alone. If it helps, there is at least this stranger here thinking of you 💛

[@nataliexyz123]

I appreciate the kindness from y’all 🥺 it really means a lot.

[@mdeliacloherty]

Wow. This one was really, REALLY good, you two.

[@kerzyperzy1]

I deal with this with severe anxiety and ADHD. My anxiety can get so bad that I start feeling like I'm losing my mind and I'm gonna end up in pychosis and I immediately dissociate and all my emotions and thoughts will go numb with my brain on autopilot till I mellow out. It's gotten much better as I've become aware of it and know when it happening so I don't unravel as much or as long, but it's definitely a day to day thing. The sucky part is my ADHD can make my anxiety worse and vice versa, so it becomes like a little mental circus at times to wait till everything calms down again 😅

[@fantasticoproduction]

the "having ocd!" joke got me good lmao

[@Gayer_Mateo]

It's got the same vibe as when in a sketch Gabe mentionned being bisexual and Allison started gasping and gagging lol

[@cariiinen]

Love this topic! One of the best tools for my mental health has been learning to recognise the signs that I need to give it some attention. Feeling restless and not being able to just sit in nature and be present and enjoying the peacefulness is usually a sign that I my anxiety is creeping up. So I know it's time to prioritise healthy routines, physical activity, rest, and talking to friends or journaling.

[@Girl24582]

This video scares me to even hit play on because it’s one of my biggest fears too but it feels nice to confront that feeling with you guys

[@medslarge]

My signs are when I feel myself snapping at my family and unable to find any joy with talking to friends or watching KZbin. But like Allison said I think I need to pay attention to earlier signs

[@alphabrenna]

YES, the uncontrolled irritability. That’s one of my signs of hypomania.

[@Khalaselle25]

The feeling of is this happiness or mania is so frustrating, and I'm so glad I'm not alone in feeling that ❤

[@legumefiend]

phantom looks like a plush dog hahaha

[@meowtapes]

I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and a lot of what Gabe had to say applied to me. At first it even had me question do I have BPD instead? However, after starting ADHD medication, I have found that it has helped with all of those things, such as impulse control(for me its often sex or money), and I no longer feel out of control of my own life! I've been able to be much more intentional with my emotions and actions.

[@tatianamorales9286]

As someone that has borderline that struggles identifying manic episodes and other habits I really resonated with this. Thanks Gabe and Allison for the vulnerability.

[@Noalmenclature]

Gabe, I'm sorry if this is too personal, tell me to eff off if necessary. How are you dealing with meds AND hormones? Do they have any interaction? Like it's so hard to find the appropriate meds for some people with bipolar disorder, and I'm curious about the complication of then adding the changes to physiology and hormone regulation to what I assume is currently a working medication load for you. I'm currently trapped by my pituitary gland. I'm not allowed to make any changes to my hormonal make up due to my previous medical history, which is like a whole other problem, and it makes me curious about little things like that. Big things like that? Lmk. Sincerely, Noal

[@chloecherry7126]

This is such a good and well Timed episode for me just came out the ward 👍🏾

[@getsuyoobi]

There's a huge range in suicidal ideation. I did a bunch of crisis intervention and the vast majority of the time, people do have a part of them that's in control, and can be talked to and coached through taking care of themselves and often they really just need someone to listen. And then sometimes they're not, and the only thing you can do is external intervention and to wait it out. If you're still partly or wholly in control (I get passive suicidal ideation when I'm stressed but it's more like, escapist thoughts flitting through my head), and then you get 5150ed it's hugely traumatic. But I have known people for whom getting 5150ed saved their life. If you or someone you care for is at risk of getting out of control, it's really helpful to be able to tell the difference. And the number one thing to do is to separate the person at risk from any means of harming themself - it's amazing how much putting the dangerous thing in another room can derail the autopilot.

[@cariiinen]

Thank you for sharing this

[@monti2842]

I think the emergency plan stuff you're supposed to practice more often so that it becomes second nature to use your coping skills and reach out to others when the time comes. Very hard to get there tho.

[@mushroomburrito]

Allison looks great in red just saying

[@kathleengrimes8613]

Oh man. Big relate to that feeling of joy triggering suspicion of whether I’m hypomanic or not. It’s something about bipolar that I don’t see talked about almost at all. That anytime I have extra energy and motivation and confidence or especially if I’m suddenly extra into organizing.. I have to sit and and analyze if I feel chemically different in my brain. Like, whenever I most have my life/self together, I get triggered with anxiety of “is this just me getting hypomanic? And if I don’t slow down, am I risking a full blown manic episode? Or am I actually just thriving because I’m doing to right things currently and it feels great and that in itself is a wonderful motivator of all things?” Feels like my only solid tell is whether or not I have been or at least am or would be able to get a solid amount of sleep.

[@bellad9569]

I love the couch show, glad you guys are doing it again

[@katiewilson3095]

I come for the topics, but phantom has my heart

[@josieschroder7568]

does allison sedate her dogs? they're always so extremely relaxed

[@iamchannellingjoy]

Mb weed smoke? lmao

[@juliavstheworld]

@@iamchannellingjoy in my experience this isnt enough unfortunately lol

[@LostSaltShaker]

I was wondering if maybe they're therapy dogs and trained to be super docile? Just a thought, maybe it's just Allison's chill vibes.

[@greensteve9307]

My friend has an assistant dog (Shitsu), and it is just as docile as that when not alerting on her.

[@laineyoung1477]

Phantom looks ded lol

[@jackie-rosebrown6848]

Not Phantom looking dead 🤣 thank you both for the vulnerability in your content ♡

[@salsarin3502]

This was a great episode. I love this format of y’all!

[@rmdcarney]

Oh geez, the is it mania or am I just feeling optimistic for once? I felt that one hard.

[@macweenie3780]

I've been manic and there's been plenty of times where I'm screaming in my head to stop but my body and words are still doing something else. Shameful for not being able to stop or control.

[@vonagah3l867]

This is unrelated but you guys have perfect teeth. My teeth are misaligned so I always notice that, breautiful smiles!

[@marsarm]

LOL phantom the silent star of this video

[@sife321]

Back in the couch show days everyone would always ask if Sugar was actually alive or even a real dog. But now I gotta know, with Phantom draped over Alison's leg, is Phantom actually sleeping like that?? How is that comfortable for him?? 😆😆

[@bwarella]

Phantom ❤

[@bpdbigsister]

As someone with BPD I completely understand the being out of control and being there in body but not in mind The only solution I have currently is to get into bed, and the rule is I'm not allowed to leave except to pee Someone else brings me food and water and the room is set up so there's nothing dangerous in there It's the only way I've found I can keep myself safe when I'm not fully rational ❤

[@Scorpia161]

'...but it was a clown party' 'okay' '...at a warehouse' 'alright'

[@rebekahpeytonmusic]

I appreciate you both (as always). I wonder where Sugar was dor this ep but am glad Phantom was having a good time being a macaroni noodle 😂 Ive never been formally diagnosed (my goal for this year) but I can usually tell if I'm in distress when I spend a lot of time in bed. Im someone who likes to watch TV and play video games in bed so normally that's not a huge deap but I will need extra hours in bed to recover from the day. I also will cry much more. I'm someone who usually only cries once or twice a month. I will also start self-sabotaging with little tasks. Maybe I don't prep for a meeting or pack my lunch or respond to a friend's text. Im also working on having an assortment of coping skills and coping tools to help when in these moments. I'd say it usually flares up with high stress so i try to lower my stressors as much as I can.

[@Isabellecomplete]

Oooof the timing of this was bang on for me

[@alexandraporter1]

My big depression red flag is when I feel like I lose control of my hand movements and just automatically start playing solitaire on my laptop/phone whenever I have a couple of minutes - and often end up playing this boring game for hours without noticing. I think this behaviour is triggered by moderate poor mental wellbeing but often led to extreme depressive episodes including ideation and I've tried really really hard to avoid doing it at all but it's hard when it's something that looks so small and stupid to the outside world.

[@calle3193]

I was looking at Phantom the whole time I'm sorry.

[@flopy0coldmi]

Love thisssss thanksss

[@AlexaKissLive]

Struggling forever with “what’s confidence and what’s mania” 😮‍💨

[@Fiyaaaahh]

If I could sleep like that dog my mental health would be at least 50% better.

[@leahleiner8550]

I have a question!! This was super helpful for me, but I feel like when I'm depressed, just forcing myself to do this is impossible. Like I know it's important for me to go outside, but can't get past the fact that it means I need to put on clothes and tie my shoes and leave my apartment-- it's all so overwhelming. How do you just force yourself to do things?

[@alixedoods]

i think prepping your space, when u arent as low, to make tasks as low energy as possible could help! ex. having a set of depression shoes/jacket/clothes at the door that requires minimal work to put on (like slides and a robe or some shit). me also thinks that if u have the space to, that u spend your heaviest depression days in a room/spot nearer to the door, so theres less energy needed to getting to the door. maybe find music/videos of like birds or creeks or anything w "outside noise" and have it as a shortcut on a device so u can click on it and hit play, and u get some sense of not being in your home you know yourself best here, u know what ur brain finds most impossible about the tasks needed to get outta the house when ur low, and u can preemptively alter your space to take some of the work off your plate, so the threshold to start is lower. i also think coupling tasks that u "need" to do, with going outside can help. like taking out the trash, if its the one thing u can do atm, then it also means u go outside for said task.so u dont have to find the will/energy to push past impossible for a single task, now its multiple for the cost of 1 task. and ultimately, be gentle with yourself, ur already in the trenches and ur trying your best me thinks also letting urself consider sitting by a window, maybe w it open if weather permits, as "good enough" outside time for days where even ur prep isnt enough to force urself out of the house

[@EnaGoba]

I had the same reaction when listening to the pod episode that Gabe references. In the past when I had s. ideation, that's what I wanna do, the part that wants to prevent it is very much overridden by the part that wants to do it. I don't want to talk to a hotline, I'm just gonna yell at them. What could they possibly say?? So yeah, big same

[@abbypierce4196]

Please read your guys birth charts for a vod (I like cafe astrology) 💗😂✨

[@legumefiend]

They did a podcast episode on that. I just looked and it was on June 5, 2019!

[@allie816]

i just wanna comfort gabe real quick

[@JennyLoves16]

Gabe, have you ever tried meditating? It can be really helpful in creating space/ability to pause when you feel out of control

[@AM-pr5hl]

Hi gang! Loved this chat but in the future it would be amazing if you guys posted a trigger warning for suicide ideation. I lost someone to suicide so sometimes hearing tips and tricks for prevention (while INCREDIBLY necessary and helpful) can be really hard to hear. Anyway, sending you both love, light, and continued strength weathering your storms ❤️

[@marly24]

I also have ocd and sometimes ill wonder if I do even have it and then something will happen and I'll be like oh yep this is not how most people would react to this situation (so unrelated but both of y'all have amazing hair)

[@lindseyluna13]

I could have sworn we knew Allison had ocd? Maybe I can just tell with the way she describes her anxiety sometimes. Or maybe it's a joke and we knew this and my autism just flew this over my head 😂

[@Ellio-h7k]

it's a joke. she talks about it in most podcast episodes and pretty much all of her tiktoks ;)

[@hmmmm.]

But it was a clown party.... at a warehouse... 😂

[@gothicwitch101]

I think you might be pointing to the opposite action skill in DBT.

[@Claudia-iq2kp]

love having the couch show back for many reasons, but mostly for the phantom and sugar cameos

[@izzyread1107]

Phantom loves life

[@legumefiend]

Is Beans friends with Phantom and Sugar?

[@lizarose57]

Oh my gosh phantom 😍

[@luciavcs]

so sorry but i had to say allison looks gorgeous

[@sumtourist9406]

I'm really not convinced that dog is alive

[@eimearmckenna9685]

Alison I love your shirt

[@nettiebetti1484]

I'm on a manic ep now

[@MissInformed10]

The effect that Allison has on her dogs needs to be studied by scientists 😂 they are always passed out cold, dead to the world.

[@nettiebetti1484]

I can be manic for months with no depression. Don't go to texts books to learn about mental health.

[@TheChazzyC]

couch…. Couch… video……

[@seananna2073]

I can't thank you enough #sajamaspells for restoring my broken relationship and bringing my lover back to me when I already lose the hope of having my relationship back in control, but you made it possible. Thank you 😘😍

[@MultiMel0]

Tbh I don’t think the emoji thing is good advice, it’s really not fair to expect an untrained family member or friend to be able to help you in an emergency. They just aren’t equiped to deal with that type of thing and I just don’t think you can ask that because how can they say no or that they aren’t comfortable. In a true emergency the people you should be contacting are emergency service (911, 999, 000 etc) or suicide help lines that will help you contact emergency services. I get Gabes point about the advice that’s given by psychs but first responders just have to be the go to

[@EnaGoba]

The way I understood it is you make an action plan with the emoji person beforehand, you don't just go "if I send u 🍍, you know what that means 😉" so then they can call first responders or do whatever it is that was agreed upon.

[@carysbebard3690]

???? It's perfectly normal and encouraged to reach out to your support network of people who care about you during a mental health emergency. If you're in a situation like the one Gabe described, how are you going to reasonably expect yourself to call a hotline or a hospital? This would be a system you set up with someone who you trust to say no if it's too much for them. Community is so important.

[@idcifukn]

Y does allison talk so little i feel like shes always talked over

[@Mizzy3030]

Is that dog OK....?

[@3minus3_]

That dog looks...so unbelievable uncomfortable

[@PariyaZabihiMusic]

i am first.

[@PariyaZabihiMusic]

i think

[@sailorpaulino]

AAAAAAAAhhhhhhhh First!!!

[@nerdpop47]

I do wish that there were trigger warnings

[@getta96]

Wow, havent checked in with this channel in a while. Looks like the kids in middle school who ate lunch with the teacher because they didnt want to face the cafeteria 😂 Can't believe Gabby cut all her hair off! She was gorgeous!