Lost in life, bored but grateful | Day 6 Sober | 21/07/2024

[@JoashNaidoo-mi7jr]

Keep going

[@DommyBW]

@@JoashNaidoo-mi7jr thanks friend

[@machiel5888]

I quit the booze in october. No one really knew how often I would sneak to the bathroom or sneak out of a social event to neck a pint of 10% alcohol beer. Lots of nights where I would put my shoes on and sit at the top of the stairs, staring at the front door, wrestling with myself to not go out and buy 10 beers for 5 euros. Hell of a deal. Sometimes I'd go out and leave my wallet at home, and i'd just wander aimlessly in the night feeling sad and bored. somehow I managed to keep adding up the days of sobriety. I let myself eat, I let myself enjoy some cannabis when i needed SOMETHING, I let myself be unproductive.... I let myself do whatever I needed to avoid waking up after a relapse. that's the worst feeling in the world, man. I have nightmares about waking up drunk/hungover. I'll dream about hiding beer in my room, or throwing up at a party because I was too drunk... and then I'll wake up and still feel the shame all day, even though it was a dream! Progress is not linear. The struggle comes, and then it disappears, and then it comes back at the worst time, and then it goes away again. The cycle repeats. Our response to the cycle changes, however. The world starts to look brighter, and things become interesting again. Friends help. I hope you'll reach out to people who love you. Take care, dom. Please keep uploading these videos. Even if you think it's meaningless, I promise that your words will matter to someone, somewhere. Lets just keep cultivating this nice little corner of the internet and supporting each other. Because what the hell else is there to do in this miserable world, eh? Take care and keep on keeping on!

[@DommyBW]

@@machiel5888 saw myself on those stairs! I’ve stood at the front door for 15 minutes with me head against it just praying I wouldn’t go!

[@AaronZ01]

you can do it man. Congrats on the positive changes youre going through!

[@DommyBW]

@@AaronZ01 thank you!

[@JoeNoeToe]

sound is quality today Dom! congratulations on almost a week sober too! the first week is the hardest. keep going, all of us believe in you.

[@JoeNoeToe]

I think your putting way too much pressure on yourself too Dom, its not all bad. the first step to your success is getting off the booze. drive and passion will then come naturally after that presumably. just keep on going! once you understand where your hurt comes from, you can then begin to work on it so I would go from there. and I think it would be a fantastic idea to film your journey too I think us subscribers would love to see that!!!

[@DommyBW]

@@JoeNoeToeI hope so! Thank you x

[@AddictedToMore_]

Congrats man. I just got sober and started my channel on addiction. Thanks for making these

[@DommyBW]

@@AddictedToMore_ brilliant! As everyone says it’s started to get easier for me now! I’ll have a follow of you

[@AddictedToMore_]

@@DommyBW thanks ! I’ll do the same

[@Zervive]

Lets go champ! we got this!

[@DommyBW]

@@Zervive much love!

[@andywilson726]

I relate to much of what you've said, in this, past and indeed, your future vlogs. You house a beautiful, seemingly ADD, ASD (or whatever) mind. As a fellow creative genius with equivalent hyper-functional neurodivergence, I accept it as both a blessing and a curse. You have infinite potential, but the self-knowing pressure to realise how to manifest and capitalise on that is a gargantuan challenge. Forgive yourself everything and don't expect yourself to behave or live the lifestyle others do. You're uniquely unique and wonderfully imperfect. These videos show you can wear that on your sleeve and so, ultimately, be proud of it. When your synapses resemble the Tokyo underground system rather than a fairground carousel, you either have to use them all at once or numb them. I waver between those states often - and the middle ground is only an inflammation of energy and thoughts so complex I can barely recognise them. But if, one day, I can express one of those ideas in a way others understand - it will be a powerful achievement. Da Vinci, Van Gogh, Beethoven, Mozart, Jane Austen, George Orwell, Einstein, Eminem, Elon Musk. They did that. Presumably millions of others simply struggled in the process. But billions never even got the chance to experience that wavelength at all. I'm not sure which makes for a more satisfying life, but we don't get the choice, so just go with it. Keep your fingers crossed and be happy with how you are. Focus your energies when you can. You're awesome. /End rant [tangental note to self: maybe start up some kind of psychomumblejumble self help clinic in California? Some of the above sounded kinda cool?]

[@DH420]

Dom you're very talented, be it poetry, acting or comedy. So please dont feel you are nothing without the booze. Its a struggle you will get through, after all, what is life without struggle? On a productive note, have you considered printing & framing your Poetry? Then selling it on eBay or Etsy? You could promote it on Sloppy Joes? I personally would LOVE a print of "Hand on crotch in moon" to add to our stairway gallery ❤ All the best my friend, take each day at a time. Look forward to seeing you on here & on Sloppy Joes 👍

[@DommyBW]

@@DH420 I haven’t thought about it because they’re all a bit of a rushed joke beforehand. But potentially I’ll do hand on crotch in moon. I have a friend who illustrates. Let me ask them. X

[@harrylunn9365]

stay strong mate, you got this 💪

[@jackdavies1079]

Another brick in the wall Dom, brick by brick you will get there. Almost at a week already, incredible!

[@thevoice246]

Appreciate your vulnerability and wearing your heart on your sleeve. Looking for forward to the Twitch channel! Building a lovely online community over here Dom

[@DommyBW]

@@thevoice246 lovely thing to say! Hopefully I’ll be able to play entertainingly!

[@SadieCameron]

Dom you're absolutely not a boring person, you're inquisitive to say the least. But you seem to be in a rut at the moment, coming off alcohol will definitely help you have a clearer mind, eventually. You just need to start figuring things out for yourself, not everything needs purpose. But I feel you need start making some movement in your life, even if that means starting from the bottom again. You're unique, just like everyone of us. Change is inevitable, so make the changes that benefit you. Talk to people more, people have life experiences and good knowledge. Give yourself the help you need. We want you in good health and spirits 🍗

[@DommyBW]

@@SadieCameron would be nice to talk to people more. You’re right. Thanks for the advice x

[@oldershikari828]

Maybe you're a KZbinr, Dom? Keep up the good work, and your story will help others! Big love.

[@DommyBW]

@@oldershikari828 thanks friend. You mean that’s what I’m supposed to do? That would be wild wouldn’t it

[@iceetmarne3571]

Today you look a thousand times better physically. Your shoulders seem like they have less weight. Conrats Dom. Your an inspiration for all off us, whatever this is.

[@DommyBW]

@@iceetmarne3571 I don’t feel good, but thank you. I’ll keep plodding

[@iceetmarne3571]

@@DommyBW Dom, I dont know you but you are clearly a man who wants to improve himself and be better. I have so much respect for you and what your are doing. Never has a truer word been spoken than, time is a true healer.

[@DommyBW]

@@iceetmarne3571 you’re very kind. Thank you for continuing to support me!

[@iceetmarne3571]

@@DommyBW Its all about you Dom. You have this regonision right here now.

[@David-dt6gv]

Because you been there so long you have to wait until you can feel without it again been there done that , nothing will stop wanting it only time will ❤

[@DommyBW]

@@David-dt6gv thank you x

[@derekderekderek3]

It can take 90 days for your brain to reset after quitting an addiction. What you are feeling now might pass naturally. Hang in there mate!

[@DommyBW]

@@derekderekderek3 hope so! Realised I hadn’t been more than 2 months without a drink ever!

[@lambert8915]

Keep doing things your own way Dom, you're a star 🌟 get to some more improv nights, start working on a comedy bit?

[@DommyBW]

@@lambert8915 yes thank you for reminding me. Need to get to some improv x

[@MikeWright-cy7ji]

Have you ever wondered whether your drinking and overeating is linked to calming a neurodiverse mind. I have the same (plus anxiety and overthinking) and was diagnosed with ADHD. The drink was self medication.

[@DommyBW]

@@MikeWright-cy7ji yeah often wondered and often been told. But don’t know how to go about the process of diagnosis

[@MikeWright-cy7ji]

@@DommyBWsee your GP. I suffered for years - tried all the usual methods (meditation, exercise, etc) but getting medication has made a massive difference to my anxiety and staying off the booze.

[@randymcnabb50]

I understood this perfectly, bud. My way of coping is hobbies. A fuck-load of them! 😂 Enjoy Herefordshire. I drove through the other day on my way to a ghost walk in Gloucester (It's a long story. I do not believe in ghosts). It's quite a beautiful place. Btw, my wife walked in and saw me watching your last video and said, "Oh, he looks like you from Wish." I'm terribly sorry. I don't think you look like me from Wish. You're at least an Argos. X

[@DommyBW]

@@randymcnabb50 I’ll take an Argos product. Was the ghost walk scary? Yeah I think I need some little hobbies

[@randymcnabb50]

@DommyBW 🤣🤣🤣 no, it was interesting, history wise, though. My daughter enjoyed it, which was the main thing.

[@jasonsmart3184]

Keep it up bro, the truth is the life of numbing yourself with alcohol is boring. Everything revolves around the next drink, Or being hung over from a previous session. Then repeat. Nothing new or exciting about that story. Your story of trying to be sober is much more exciting many trials and tribulations ahead. That is the exciting part.

[@DommyBW]

@@jasonsmart3184 absolutely. Months just go by in a semi-conscious state

[@JamieFaulkner-l9b]

Power of now by eckhart tolle my friend

[@DommyBW]

@@JamieFaulkner-l9b I’ve been recommended this so many times I think I might have to get It!

[@James_Is_Free]

Here's the good news (gospel), folks: Jesus Christ died for our sins, was buried, and then rose again the third day.

[@JLM1PB]

I think you can lower the gain on the microphone, you have a powerful voice. You should do cooking streams instead of tortuing your mind with existential questions and ordering fried chicken.

[@DommyBW]

@@JLM1PB thank you x

[@iceetmarne3571]

please tell me what time you are streaming. Tuesday at what time?

[@DommyBW]

@@iceetmarne3571 5-10. Need to make a new twitch channel tomorrow as can’t remember the old!

[@Sam-wm1qo]

@@DommyBWhi Dom, it might worth throwing up a quick KZbin video to announce the new Twitch channel, as a few people are asking about it

[@DommyBW]

@@Sam-wm1qo good idea, thank you, will do x

[@JohnReynolds-xr9ll]

I think it's very common to feel a lack of purpose. It's probably half the reason people have children. I have had similar feelings to you. I work full time but other than that my life is quite minimal. I just remind myself I didn't ask to be here so there's no obligation on me to live my life a certain way, just try to make myself feel as happy/content as possible and try to embrace the meaninglessness a bit.

[@DommyBW]

@@JohnReynolds-xr9ll thanks chum. Yea, I’ve thought this. Instead of scrambling for answers that don’t exist

[@GILFHunter121]

Hey man just came across your video. Have you ever considered looking into ADHD/Neurodiversity , not to take away from your alcohol struggles/struggles and not to shame you or something im in a very very similar situation, scarily i would say and through my own searching and perhaps this doesnt apply to you, a lot of the things you say are going through seem very similar to something ADHD suffers do, if anything the information might lead you to other places. No ill intentions intended , just something that maybe you hadn't thought about just like myself until one day someone described how they felt who had ADHD and i said thats exactly how i feel 😅 Best of luck on your journey away from the booze and on whichever path you choose to succeed on🙂

[@DommyBW]

@@GILFHunter121 been reading few comments like this. It’s something I’m definitely considering x

[@GILFHunter121]

@@DommyBW Im not suggesting you go to someone per say but there are many good channels on YT which might give you some insights. I liked HealthyGamerGG and a woman called Dr Tracey Marks , they cover many topics if its something you want to skim over yourself :)

[@Phillip-p1e]

Are you an actor, and did you play an oompah loompa in Charlie and the chocolate factory.

[@DommyBW]

@@Phillip-p1e yes and yes

[@ZedDoubleU82]

What's your Twitch called? Another good vid, keep up the good work.

[@DommyBW]

@@ZedDoubleU82 Ello, will let you know tomorrow when I get it back up and running x

[@ZedDoubleU82]

@@DommyBW Look forward to the grand unveiling

[@patrick-me2js]

🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐