Love Is Blind S3 #32 - (Cole Cries) - Therapist Reacts

[@sam-wt1gq]

The build up to the cuties scene is EXCRUTIATING!!

[@talk2s5061X]

The doc is milking this one lol fair play

[@jhaijackson]

Zanab: "I could've DRAGGED you" Me: Sorta like how the Doc is DRAGGING out this Cuties scene video! 😭

[@ashlynnm9131]

He knows what we want dangit

[@Wc7823]

@@jhaijackson 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 I’m dying inside!!!

[@berlizgonzalez6736]

Yaaasss!!! Lmao 🤣🤣

[@safalafagins]

I wished you included when Cole said he regrets going on the show. "If going on the show meant I single handedly shattered someone's self confidence, then yes, I regret going on the show." It's so heartbreaking to hear. In my opinion, the scene where Cole breaks down crying feels reminiscent of when a gaslighter or manipulative person has successfully drove someone to question their own reality and be convinced that they are a terrible human.

[@ohisee9173]

I understand Zanab's perspective to the extent of "I don't think you're terrible or irredeemable, but I need you to FEEL terrible about the terrible things you did to me". That seems consistent to me. BUT her claiming to not regret anything... That's where I just can't put it together. As Dr. Honda said, something is just OFF.

[@lunaeriss]

@@ohisee9173 I think she says she doesn't regret anything because she learned a lot from the whole experience. You don't always have to regret the pain you went through.

[@ohisee9173]

@@lunaeriss I think her not regretting anything should be a sign to her that Cole was not fully in control of what was hurting her. The fact that she hasn't taken any real accountability shows she hasn't learned enough.

[@richarddawson5836]

@@ohisee9173 If you can understand anything Zanab says that you are as much of a nut job as she is!!! Zanab is a gas lighter and a narcissist on every level. She is so desperate to be the victim she will twist reality to fit her narrative.

[@ohisee9173]

@@richarddawson5836 ??? Dr. Honda understands how people can think and feel, does that make him a "nut job"?

[@KZesty]

"I could have DRAGGED you." Idk I felt like she really did, can't imagine she was holding back that much 😳

[@EmpressEllie]

Yeah what is she not saying lol. She’s said a lot! And then acted like she’s been OH SO kind. Lol.

[@KZesty]

@@EmpressEllie Hahah!

[@mskada32]

The animosity when she said those words. Cole started out being diplomatic and she came out the gate blaming and accusing. I think that’s just a pretty accurate snapshot of both of them during the show.

[@Blizzard757575]

imagine what she's like when she's not being filmed and you live with her for a few months.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

That's the female equivalent of raising the back of your hand real quick like you're going to hit someone and watching them flinch. It's more a threat than anything.

[@rdsanantonio]

The way we're getting teased with the omission of the cuties scene 😭 we're so close, ya'll! hang in there!

[@Shaharezad]

What if he never does it??

[@rdsanantonio]

@@Shaharezad don't put that into the universe 😭

[@arouca3]

I am waiting for this since he started! But so far, Dr. Honda is on point with Zanab's behavior ! I am like WOW, he is so good.

[@jordanparker657]

Thanks for saying this because I have seen it and was wondering if I was just hallucinating. 🤗

[@Wc7823]

I don’t know if I’m gonna make it. Especially he was like, “can we get a producer in here to show the scene? We won’t see the footage will we?” 🤣😵‍💫

[@Futuredeadbruja]

“I wish I was a fly on the wall” “they could show that scene and really clear up the whole thing” Dr.H…. I swear I’m going to go into psychosis waiting for you to react to the actual scene. 🍊

[@EmpressEllie]

Bahahaha this comment made me laugh real hard. Hahahaha

[@jenmessier2195]

Same lol.... waiting haha

[@paolamori31]

I know!!! I'm slowly dying inside.............. and go.

[@jenmessier2195]

@@paolamori31 lol

[@daisyo.6666]

I know right?!? WTH I thought it was going to be today. I think he must know we are all desperate to hear his thoughts on that scene

[@piaschmidt7357]

To this day i still find it crazy how the cuties scene was used as a threat against cole yet the moment it aired and people didnt side with Zanab all of a sudden the cuties scene was no longer important to Zanab, Alexa and Raven

[@howtorelationshippodcast]

Right?! I used to like most of the cast before the reunion, but after the reunion, the only cast member I like and follow on social media is Cole.

[@merrileejessop3748]

That’s what I feel. Like it seems like they’re just looking the other way.

[@jesssc402]

But you can’t use the word crazy 🙃

[@iyanla09]

They need to apology to the man and recognize the their own toxicity.

[@CarvinHGoldstone]

That’s how bullying works. The mean girls decide what’s relevant

[@lilciara10]

Not sure if anyone else noticed this, but after Zanab told off Cole at the altar, her step mom went to make sure Cole was okay and gave him a hug. To me, if someone shattered my daughter’s self-esteem and said all these horrible things, why would I go and make sure he is okay in this situation? Look at Nancy’s mom and brother; they were ready to go to war with Bartise after he said no at the altar. So this makes me think that Zanab’s step mom is used to this behaviour she has. This distorted thinking or the way she is in intimate relationships might be something she’s used to doing.

[@xsenobe4396]

I'm a fan of Zanab's step mom, she seems very kind and supportive

[@lilciara10]

@@xsenobe4396 Same here! I was happy to see her hug him after what happened.

[@deatrachapman1594]

I agree.

[@bobococo89]

exactly, make it make sense

[@MBeano]

Zanab's stepmom is the bees knees! Very supportive. Also, I dont think it's just me, but Stepmom's hug with Cole was longer and felt more intimate. The hug with Zanab did not feel as intense. Props to stepmom for also being that supportive with the experiment, and taking it all in, taking video, as Zanab continually mentioned her parents not being there, without a single nod or acknowledgment to her stepmom.

[@gdjwarren2]

"I could have dragged you", says someone who loves you.

[@EmpressEllie]

Mean (yet woke) girl vibes.

[@57andstillkicking]

She clearly doesn’t know what love is.

[@piaschmidt7357]

lmao basically the same as saying "i could have ruined you" such a loving statement to make especially from someone who apparently didnt plan to say no

[@mskada32]

Almost sounds like a threat. But as always with the boomerang of karma and the undefeated internet, she had gotten a taste of what being dragged means.

[@codydavis3100]

Well to be fair if I were to go public with what my life was like with my father it would have ruined his career. I didn't because I loved him and wanted to keep the perfect family image safe. But yeah I could have dragged him.

[@asunnywebb]

And this is why Cole kept saying he was confused the whole show. And why he eventually asked Zay if she was bipolar. He wasn't on the right track but the confusion is understandable.

[@EmpressEllie]

Exactly. And if this is what she’s like on camera, what is she like when she’s not filmed.

[@EmpressEllie]

@Claudia Dolce in the cuties scene cole is full on planning to travel to meet her family and have a world tour for their marriage. He was fully invested and because they planned these things, he was confused why she did that. She could have been the bigger person and talked to him about how his comments made her feel. Instead she just publicly shamed him on tv for millions of viewers.

[@bluehypothermicreality6759]

Look at his smirk when he asked her that he was trying to hurt her

[@mskada32]

Even more so she said to him at the beginning (after the Colleen rating thing) if you don’t want to go thru with this let me know. Funny she didn’t have the same respect for him that she was asking for.

[@Halbmond]

Her constant belittling and passive-aggressiveness in the kitchen scene drove me crazy from the start and while I agree that he shouldn’t have asked her that, I immediately understood why he was asking because he said she was happy just moments before.

[@butterbear3042]

The only way love is blind should continue is by introducing a couples therapist that they can check in with. Doesn't seem like a major impact on the experiment, especially because they see each other irl eventually.

[@jinx724]

I actually would love to see this, I think normalizing couples Threapy would be amazing

[@shannontrent3702]

Yes! Because it's so quick! From the time they talk to when they decide to get married...I think most people would be freaked out. Saying I love you to someone that quickly is scary because until you hang out in person, I don't think you're getting the true, full personality of someone. Plus, I wouldn't have to see Nick's face at the end, looking sad and confused while Jessica is talking, LOL! (Sorry, not sorry)

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

I feel like the hosts are awful. That chick seemed like she wanted to turn to Cole and just go "why are you so awful?" then if he says something to prove his point she just goes "okay, let's move on". Comes off a super unprofessional and corny.

[@migueljacobo5448]

Sometimes I miss the good ole pastor Cal 😅

[@butterbear3042]

@akplmn I'm not saying it has to be public! Just available to them! I was shocked that a *crew member* was the one trying to diffuse the fight between Matt and Colleen. That's after they let him scream at her for God knows how long. She should have been able to say "nope, I need to talk to someone" right there.

[@mcedwards]

She needs help. And I hope Cole gets therapy, cuz he looks genuinely traumatized from this whole experience. Understandably so. Also, I am now on the edge of my seat for the cuties breakdown lol

[@Wc7823]

He mentioned in an interview that he is in therapy. Thankfully.

[@jclyntoledo]

They are both in therapy.

[@bobococo89]

@@jclyntoledo Zay hasn;t clearly had enough...she's still destroying this man on social media....

[@sufiheart]

what really bugged me was Cole was breaking down, taking ownership and displaying regret.. and zanab just kept making it fully about her. I wish she would've said something about being glad he see's those faults and is working on them. give Him some credit, not just poor me. Zanab has been proved a liar... or at least not able to see him or the situation clearly at all. She's not reliable and she does seem manipulative.

[@andaredvex]

She can't really have anything being about somebody else. She bathed in the victim role and is potentially a covert narcissist IMHO.

[@Kalolelo]

And then her, “you’re a good man”, “I don’t regret you at all” and “I forgive you” but still blaming him of giving her an ED AND going to meet his ex-wife (it’s on her Instagram)… get this woman help and Cole a restraining order to keep her away from him.

[@bobococo89]

She is a liar indeed

[@hidieirene6425]

@@Kalolelo she met with his ex wife? Wtf...

[@hidieirene6425]

@@Kalolelo yeah something isn't right in that woman's head. I still think Cole is douchy but I regret hating him all season, she's .....I don't even know what to say. Meeting an ex wife is weird af

[@s.melonita4454]

I can't take this anymore 😭 When the Doc uses his metaphor of finding water in the desert, that's how I feel right now. I'm in the desert and always think I'm about to run into some cuties 😭😭😭💀💀💀

[@stellannie86]

Hahahaha same..!! 🤣🤣

[@ohisee9173]

😂😭😂😭

[@Arianne91]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@katerose9676]

Crowd says: we weren't sure until the cuties scene was shared. Then it's like OMG so clear. In the scene cole is goofy, and mucking around thinking Zey is on the same page, and she is distorted, thinking he is making jabs at her weight. He's completely not. Zey does seem to swap rapidly between "Cole is shitty" and "cole you're a wonderful person" - different parts she has created to deal with her trauma? One part of her seems like a parent schooling him. And one part seems like a child wanting lots of love and reassurance and angry when she doesn't get it. Either way, for cole that would be really confusing. Look at Cole here.. crying, confused, cognitive dissonance, not as goofy and confident as he once did - I'd say this has impacted him a LOT. Not excusing some of his comments that he didn't think through and landed badly, and he was immature around colleen issue, but there is only one person breaking down on the couch looking a bit depressed...and it's not Zey.

[@EmpressEllie]

Well said!!!

[@ohisee9173]

Watch out! They're gonna jump down your throat for having empathy for Cole crying

[@piaschmidt7357]

Its still funny how she used the cuties scene as threat and told Cole the public would side with her if they ever saw it lol. Confident

[@mskada32]

👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾 EXACTLY!!!

[@TheMaltebella]

Yeah...I have never liked Zanab. She has always rubbed me the wrong way.

[@hollyblair5778]

I love that he's calling out how what Zay is saying doesn't make any sense. I was so confused by her saying these things too.

[@andreap3147]

Right, I'm so glad he's noticing there's something off with her statements.

[@ads13924]

What things don't make sense?

[@Bea_22]

I think this is what is called crazy making

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

Honda gave her the benefit of the doubt in every single interaction between those 2 and now she's being so crazy even he can't anymore.

[@bobococo89]

@@ads13924 him fat shaming her when none of that was shown or talked about in sm....the kissing of the girl I beleive is fabricated but he could have joked about it, But all I know is this woman's words are no longer believable to me anyways...

[@Acernese45]

Zanab is trying to inflict maximum pain on Cole but has the nerve to say "I forgave you a long time ago" and "I think you're a good person and I love you" but then continues to trash him. She seemed to have thought she was having her Deepti moment but it's coming off as particularly cruel... The way that she relishes her monologues like she's standing on a soap box saying she would "do it all over again" reads as extremely manipulative and in direct conflict with her solely blaming Cole for her eating disorder - even left Dr. Honda confused. It make me wonder how much she exaggerated her other accusations against him.. Cole may have been a jerk through parts of the season but Zanab is being a really bad "sore winner" by rubbing things in even when he's breaking down/apologizing and it's honestly one of the many reasons why fans see her as the worse of the two

[@lunaeriss]

Season 3 was filmed before season 2 aired, so she was not trying to have a "Deepti moment".

[@Acernese45]

@@lunaeriss Did they not film the reunion episode sometime this year, after season 2 was out? I know they filmed the rest of the season before season 2 aired but I could be wrong

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

I remember the Depp and Heard trial where the one therapist was talking about Borderline and talking about a strong sense of self righteousness along with always being the victim

[@jeremysmith9694]

Very well stated

[@benjaminfast5496]

I fully believe that she exaggerated or twisted things he said or did when telling the other cast about what was going on and managed to successfully turn them against him. Alexa, Brennan, and Nancy especially hate him now and I don't know that they have actual proof of what he's "done".

[@stellannie86]

Seeing Cole cry like that was heart breaking. 😢

[@EmpressEllie]

Right! I remember first seeing him and thinking, oh there is something deeply hurt in him… then he cried and it was like, well there it is!!! She is the one who eroded his self confidence!!!!!!!!!!

[@NomNomFairy]

Agree! I’m mortified it’s a woman in her thirties lying out of her ass and bringing this guy to tears 😕

[@jinx724]

I agree I think he really feels demonized and I hope his friends and family are looking out for his mental health.

[@bobococo89]

@Claudia Dolce Stop. She humiliated that man and ruined his esteem. And she's hurting him more still dragging him online.

[@estelasanchez.]

@Claudia Dolce clearly more her than him. She's insufferable.

[@joshj4467]

Her gaslighting game is on point. It’s really something when you see how she cultivated all this support from her friends by telling them all these stories she never brought up publicly or to him privately(that we know of) and it’s actually Nancy and Alexa that sort of bring up some of the stuff they “know” Cole did off camera even though they obviously only heard Zays side.

[@modernwarpaint]

Zae’s flying monkeys.

[@bellaluna8097]

Yes a perfect example of flying monkeys 🐒

[@berlizgonzalez6736]

Her mom said "tell your truth" right when she was about to walk the altar. I'm sure she knew exactly what she was going to say beforehand

[@cindycindycindy]

Omg I missed this!! 😱

[@elysitafernandez7225]

Definitely! She wrote that script and everything. Evil 😅

[@alessandra00]

@@elysitafernandez7225 lol yeah hard to believe she made that decision on the altar when her wording was so specific and she didn’t stutter once 😬

[@kimberlyhall4079]

Just wanted to say that I love your name, Berliz 😊

[@applepie3276]

I caught that too!!

[@thebowandbullet]

*_To the comment section:_* I have no idea why everyone has been so excited about the "cuties scene" for the past 2 videos since I don't watch this show, but you guys really have me on the edge of my seat for it! lol 😅

[@lavitz3045]

Lord you're in for a treat

[@maarleyjedermann3174]

Same.

[@EmpressEllie]

Oh just you wait Bow…. Juuuuust you wait!

[@gusbulni]

Hahahaha you will see it for the first time. Hahahahha

[@piaschmidt7357]

I envy you. Lmao all this waiting is just agony

[@yourpsychicadvisor]

All of the waffling back and forth between accusing Cole of ruining her self esteem and "I would do it again" and "you're not a bad guy" made her seem like she was trying to be this grand martyr in the situation. As soon as Cole shows any kind of distress, she flips back and says something about forgiving him or still loving him. Weird.

[@bobococo89]

Yup! Because she doesn;t want to look llike the bad guy and continue to look like the victim

[@oksanaml9279]

It's very weird. Dr Honda's description of her as "incongruent" is so apt. I found her that way as soon as they left the pods and it's definitely why Cole speculated that she's bipolar. But she never presented as either clinically depressed or manic.

[@tinylama]

my favorite part is when cole totally breaks down after everyone bullied him while terrible nick and vanessa just watched, then nick has the audacity to say to him: "hey man, this is life. i hope everyone gained something from this experience." what is wrong with these hosts

[@bobococo89]

Everything . They need to go

[@zuzumontague]

They’re careless people, that’s what’s wrong.

[@dig2341]

Zanab’s insecurities are what caused her to distort everything Cole said and did.

[@MsAaannaaa]

Not everything but a lot. His move towards Colleen still was shitty and he‘s still lacking empathy in many other situations.

[@Yararar]

She’s gross really, real nasty woman

[@purplelotusflower2]

I agree! I think the whole incident with Cole and Colleen put her in a difficult mental place. She decided to choose herself but really wanted, probably wished the Scene/incident with Colleen hadn’t happened. Look at Jarret and Iyanna. She was second pick and they are no longer together after one year. I can only imagine the emotional torture Iyanna went through.

[@leonorpereira548]

It's very funny how Dr Kirk is speculating that maybe the cuties scene didn't make it to the final cut because it is was too "explosive" or too in favor of either Cole or Zay... When in fact, it was probably not initially shown because it's a super regular interaction which only Zay blew out of proportion to feed her own narratives...

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

The fact that it wasn't put in proves Cole's point. If producers thought it was a big bomb shell they would've added it, but to them it was a boring conversation. I bet Zay watched the entire series looking for a scene that wasn't aired so she could lie on it.

[@Bec_loves_Jesus]

Many emotions are driven by thoughts, unfortunately we can't hear people's thoughts or emotions so unless someone is extremely extroverted with processing their emotions verbally the viewer can't truly comprehend what is going on, and thus close the gaps with opinions and assumptions.

[@jaywu6804]

Publish the cutie scene video, I can't wait any longer 🥺

[@teeturnedthepage]

Her self-esteem and confidence was already disordered before she met Cole. Cole was scapegoated for a lot of her preexisting insecurities (he is not innocent either). But Zay definitely warped the story of their relationship to make him seem 100% at fault. Terrible. The Cuties Story was the nail in the coffin for Zay to me.

[@macymiller3417]

This! Exactly. Plus it’s not Cole’s fault she didn’t eat and he never made a negative comment about it.

[@video123film]

Kirk is really teasing us when he keeps saying he wishes he knew what really happened. I can’t wait for the Cuities scene reaction!

[@Grace_Psychology]

I wasn’t sure if he intentionally didn’t show that scene 😂

[@jeremysmith9694]

He has to know right? Does he really want us to believe this is the very first time he's seen these videos?

[@thisismyinferno]

I think people think that when people are able to spout out alot of details in their story it means they're being honest. That's not true. Cole has faults but Zanab... somethings off with her. I think she distorts things alot or take things at a low level to an extreme. I hope Cole gets therapy. I truly believe he was traumatized. Also, I thought it was so rude everyone but Bartise ganged up on Cole about using crazy when it was clear he wasn't trying to use it in a malicious way. He was in the middle of discussing his feelings and kept being disrupted and demanded on a whole other topic. It wasn't funny. It was rude and not the time for that topic to be brought up.

[@EmpressEllie]

Fully agree!!!

[@gusbulni]

I will take it as far as saying he was bullied.

[@NomNomFairy]

I honestly feel so sorry for him. He is still so young and this can do huge damage. This woman needs help before she does that to someone else

[@EmpressEllie]

@@gusbulni I would say so too. Imagine what it was like when she wasn’t being filmed. 😬

[@piaschmidt7357]

I dont know, i find myself giving too much detail when i am lying. I also drag my stories more when i am lying

[@ericbelmonte9730]

Alright you win, I'll sign up for alerts so I know when the damn cutie scene video is added. Well played sir

[@javanjunkindahouse6625]

😂😂😂

[@SonicaLuda]

3:50 she may not have known (allegedly) that they were gonna clap but I believe her whole speech was premeditated and her friends knew. However, she loved that they clapped. She was kinda laughing when she said that her friends had done that (and it didn't seem a nervous laughter at all to me).

[@AprilT72]

This has the be the most anticipated video from Dr Honda....since I saw the cuties scene 😭😭😭

[@EmpressEllie]

Does Zenab look like her self confidence is completely eroded? OR does Cole look like his is?? In this case, their body language does say a lot about what roles they are actually playing. I feel bad for Cole.

[@EmpressEllie]

@Claudia Dolce self confidence does have strong body language.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

That's a great point, the way she's sitting she looks very self confident

[@dawntaylor8749]

@Claudia Dolce She cried easily in the bridal shop when thinking about her parents, and on the wedding day thinking of them.

[@CharleyCharlez]

I think it's possible to appear confident and be crumbling. Happens with me all the time. I can seem like everything is fine and confidently article myself AND be crumbling or majorly struggling. Anyway I think Zay has some real issues that she needs help with!

[@smartmarketing173]

@@Aaron-kj8dvTo me, the way she’s sitting is not relaxed and confident; she’s laser-focused and on edge, like she’s on the attack

[@Nikki-lr5jn]

Zae is lying here. She lied to the girls about Cole and she lied at the reunion. She doesn't like Cole, she's saying she doesn't regret him and he's not a bad person yet she's still trying to take him down on her tiktok, instagram, and in interviews..All those girls were wrong for attacking Cole on Zae behalf. She's a liar and a manipulator. Cole>>>>>the entire cast at this point. I hate liars and I hate gullible people who blindly stand behind others with no real facts and that it what those girls and Brennan did by coming for Cole. Zae tried her best to break Cole and she is still trying. He only unfollowed her couple of weeks ago cause she wouldn't stop attacking him online.

[@jamiex6072]

Yep. She's is mixed up. The entire the she kept telling him she loved the man he is. She even prayed over him before she dragged him. She is mixed up. And it was confusing to him. He doesn't have the experience or skills to navigate her mental health issues. Which are present. There is no doubt. She has issues. Series of microagressions and distortions.

[@josepholvera]

Yes!!!!

[@divadanza78]

She seems like a covert narc

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

Yep, and those girls went so hard they can't pull the "well she lied to me" then you're a dumbass for getting fooled. You can believe someone and then say to yourself "let me check this out myself before I believe it wholeheartedly" but these dumbasses not only took the bait they became flying monkeys for Zae and beclowned themselves in the process.

[@bobococo89]

She even goes as far to meet his ex wife....idk how anyone thinks that's normal

[@Halbmond]

Dr. Honda has mastered the art of social media content creation. He’s churning out video after video and I can’t help but feel he knows full well his whole audience is just waiting nervously for him to finally address the cuties scene

[@4ledki]

100% agree. Oh he knows. But I also think his presumptions are bit distorted. Example, when did zanab called out her friends for clapping at the alter. That didn't happen. He misinterpreted when she said "was it super ghetto when my friends clapped?"

[@ItsGoingDao]

She completely eviscerated him while making herself the bigger person forgiving him 😳 psychotic and impressive 🥶

[@Kalolelo]

“Psychotic and impressive” you are simply hilarious! 🤣

[@Bearrden]

Oh man we are SO CLOSE to the episode my girlfriend and I specifically want! Dr. Kirk Honda reviews the cuties video!

[@andra9601]

Lol I hear you! It all started with.. I had a long day and wanted to relax at home by watching some trash tv. My partner, who at that time was reading a book, came to read beside me on the couch. Next thing we know we were both totally absorbed and traumatized by proxy by the Cole+Zanab wedding + reunion fiasco. Now my bf’s been asking me about Dr. H’s reaction video to that cuties scene every day for the past two+ weeks and blaming me for ever introducing him to trash tv lol. He says that it “singlehandedly destroyed his innocence” lol as that was the first time he ever watched reality tv. It’s been his number one complaint about our relationship ever since. I want Dr H to get to that reaction video already so my partner can get off my back. Hahahaha

[@allgood7088]

From her, I get the sense of.... You know when you're in a fight and you're feeling hurt so you pick at the other person, but then the other person finally feels that hurt and breaks down and you're shocked and you backtrack because you realise it's gone too far. I get the sense from her that she wants to humiliate him, and she's expecting him to fight back but when he doesn't, she is like "Don't worry, I would have done it again" and then he seems okay, and then she rips into him again until he's hurt again and then she switches again. Maybe she doesn't want to be perceived as "kicking him when he's down". It looks better for her to tear him apart if he fights back, but if he's crying she looks cruel.

[@Nikki-lr5jn]

Zae gaslight and traumatized Cole while he was on LIB. He's in therapy now. I can see his growth already based on his social media post. He's talking about how he's grown and how he's going to try and not let his past define him. Zae claims to be in therapy yet she's shades Cole multiple times per week on IG and she's posted on tiktok she's met up with his ex wife so she can talk trash about him. So she's still a horrible, manipulative, vindictive, lying mess.

[@TerribleInjusticex]

Looking at it to me considering her behaviour, her hypercritical tendencies, her vindictiveness and hostility. She lacks empathy for him. Even when he was clearly upset his parents weren't coming she showed no actual emotion or warmth towards him. She barely offered reassurance that I'd expect a fiance to offer. That was when I became a bit worried. Looking at the things she is claiming in this reunion, the way she's isolated Cole and is trying to villainize him to the public while he is not saying a bad word against her. He is completely broken, questioning his reality in the end. He was publicly humiliated, consistently and constantly criticized to the point of walking on eggshells. If she was a man her behaviour would be quickly and unanimously labelled abusive. I think Cole was an easy target because he does speak before he thinks, he is brutally honest, he is younger. What stood out to me is his intentions do not seem to come from a malicious place. Her intentions come across as revengeful. And that's the difference to me.

[@howtorelationshippodcast]

Perfectly said! My feelings exactly!👏👏

[@dawntaylor8749]

Agreed. No way would a group of men be allowed to gang up on a female like that, and rightly so. That was brutal to watch.

[@TheMaltebella]

I agree.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

Yeah, women are allowed to get away with that behavior all of the time and then those are the women who are usually perpetual victims. I do think the tides changing though, I myself have seen women calling out other women on their shit where even 5 years ago they entertained their delusions. My theory is the awful ones became so bad that even people who usually keep to themselves were like "no I have to speak up" lol

[@PioneerPrincessTexas]

EXACTLY

[@lexa3787]

I know we don’t diagnose from afar but to me Cole really feels like he has undiagnosed ADHD. I think that he has no filter, he says everything that pops into his head, and he gets himself into situations where he can’t really back up or accept his own statements. She also says at one point that he “talks a lot of Cole” and will constantly be talking and singing songs while doing something. He is often a little fidgety and clearly from his apartment can be a bit disorganized. I feel soooo bad for him at this reunion. Early on in the show I related to him as what I perceived to be a fellow ADHDer and I feel like he looks completely heartbroken and wrecked following this experience.

[@lilbbillzz]

This show is not neurodivergent friendly at all. That’s for sure.

[@lynnd5342]

I was thinking same!!! My husband has adhd and he’s very similar to Cole. No filter but means well.

[@SH-cm5hw]

I very much have been thinking the same thing

[@pbn_jam]

Cole’s personality, energy, and demeanor reminds me of mine so muchhhhhh. Oh wait…… I have diagnosed ADHD too 😂 *Break out in song 🎉*

[@Kalolelo]

That’s a possibility. You know what I applauded of him?how honest he was when he apologized to Matt, he didn’t blame Colleen, he owned up to it. Yes in the reunion they vilified him and claimed he didn’t apologize… and what’s her face Mrs. Brennan said he was malicious or something like that.

[@T_Skye]

Stacey!!!! You did it again! Another cliffhanger! 😂😂😂 Okay, the next video MUST be the cuties clip!!! 🙏

[@javanjunkindahouse6625]

Ha ha that’s exactly what I was thinking too! She’s good 😅

[@IMO-r4l]

Judge Judy said, 'if it doesn't make sense it's a lie!' -So glad they showed that scene!

[@BlackTinkerbell]

I HATE that NO ONE offered Cole a tissue when he was crying but everyone offered Nancy and the other girl. Ugh. He’s genuinely hurting Justice for Cole 💜 And Zenab is being SO narcissistic when he’s crying! WTF!?

[@eggspedient]

At 3:43-- Zay wasn't talking about calling out her friends for clapping, she was speaking about whether her friends had known prior to the wedding that she was going to say no/make that speech. Again, she is not remorseful for her or her friends' actions 🙄 It's crazy that she takes no accountability for her hostility and perceived her own speech as telling Cole she loved him (but was wronged).

[@momma2cavalierssf]

I also don’t think she was remorseful about her friends clapping. Her comment was something about being “ghetto”, which didn’t land well for me.

[@Donnathedog]

Vanessa saying "I can't wait to see you a year from now, I really can't" Talk about toxic positivity and lack of empathy.. YIKES

[@bobococo89]

Her and her husband are horrible hosts! so toxic....

[@JenlovesYu]

Zanab reminds me of my sister. I love my sister because we’ve been through a lot together (including family trauma that we’ve both handled differently). I’m in therapy, but she refuses to believe that the trauma we went through was as bad as it was. Her coping mechanism has been distorting the truth to fit a false narrative that she’s concocted and manipulating others to believe that it’s the truth. This has extended to all aspects of her life. It’s like when she doesn’t have control of what’s going on, she makes up a story that is close to the truth to have others believe that it’s reality just so she can gain some semblance of control. In all these situations, she paints herself as the victim and gets others to empathize with her. It’s the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen. I can’t help but think Zanab’s parents passing away in her teens has led her to behave in similar ways as my sister who experienced childhood trauma and parental neglect. I’m so curious if they have the same insecure attachment style. The other way they are similar is that if they place themselves as the victim, whoever they see as the wrongdoer must be punished at all costs to justify their distortion. I know it’s hard for Dr. Honda to fully understand Zanab without her being his patient, but I’d love to get his take…if we ever get to the cuties scene. Like ever. 😂

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

People who see themselves as perpetual victims are always terrible to everyone because in their mind there's none of their behavior that could ever be as bad as what they went through so there's kind of money in the bank in their side. I remember my brother moved to a new city and was looking for roommate and this girl came and he was complaining that she was one of those rabid feminist types and I told him "She's going to be the most disgusting roommate you ever had because in her mind you're in debt to her" and lo and behold he had to kick her out 3 months later and gave all of her money back because she was so disgusting.

[@suras8984]

The cuties scene better be in this!!!! 😭😭😭 Edit: IT WASN"T .......

[@DouglasBurton]

I feel like this conversation was indicative of Cole & Zay the whole time. They both seem preoccupied with being heard but aren't listening to each other or clarifying in a way that the other can understand. Every disagreement just comes back to "I can't believe you would say that it" and never a "here's what I meant, I'm sorry you heard it this way". Feels like they're just speaking different languages with everything. Also thank god no one ever recorded me for weeks in my 20s. I totally get Cole realizing how odd the things you say can come across. I cringed at the guy for the whole season but in the end I think he was just too immature to get forced into marriage & put on camera for weeks.

[@nnn9122]

Yes! I think they both actually tried to be vulnerable and express their feelings, but it was as if they couldn't hear each other at all. 😢

[@enjt-fran]

I 💯 agree. Except the forced into marriage thing, this was voluntary

[@biaibarrett]

I can't take listening to him say "If they ever show the scene..." I wanna see that reaction so badly!

[@deeniesmothers9310]

I'm just going to sit back and be patient while Dr. Kirk brings us this masterful breakdown of the cuties scene. If kids can wait for Christmas, I can wait for the next video.

[@bobococo89]

😄😄😄😄😄😄😄

[@karimmadueno3257]

Zay's mom reaction at the wedding comforting Cole was very telling

[@Tonks989]

Dr H, you're killing me over here! The anticipation that has been building is almost overwhelming at this point lol

[@trishanotpatricia7043]

I feel like Zanab has some type of subconscious power issue due to insecurities... Once Cole starts to express lots of remorse, she tones her criticisms down a bit when trying to comfort/appease/affirm him, but she still adds in small jabs to (subconsciously) make sure that she is in control. Like when he cried and she was reaffirming that she still loved him then weirdly brought up the "damn towels" then went back to reaffirming him. I think him showing insecurity gives her self-assurance.

[@km8499]

This couple was such a rollercoaster for me to watch. While watching the episodes, Cole seemed immature but much more direct when he talked about his feelings, while Zanab was more on the mature side but passive in her reactions. There were instances where he showed more warmth in the way he interacted with her while she was cold in a way, but she might have put her walls up since the very beginning because of his observations and reactions (which most were admittedly either insensitive or ignorant) that triggered her insecurities. What I was mostly sad about in their relationship is that I kept wishing Zanab was more vulnerable and direct with Cole. He seemed to respond well to honest conversations judging the way he reacted to her step mother when they had their talk. Zanab instead bottled up her feelings and implied or tried to test him (I didn't like the way she asked him to rate the girls for example). About her reactions that we found a bit confusing, I liked a theory that a youtuber discussed regarding personality types that Zanab might be an "equalizer". She puts Cole down when he's cheerful, but when he's down she seems to want to comfort him. I don't know if that's pathological in any way, but it seems to fit the way she puts him down then brings him back up like she did at the ultar and here at the reunion when he was crying. In the end I guess they weren't compatible, and they both need to work on themselves (and that's a journey we all have in common lol).

[@nnn9122]

I liked her "equalizer" theory as well. Her breakdown of the Cole and Zanab dynamic has made the most sense to me out of the videos I've seen. I liked how she explained the reasoning for their initial attraction as well.

[@sayanasherif1871]

Could you share that video please? The equalizer theory

[@titus5920]

This is a much more well thought out response compared to most in the comments. I don't personally see the Cuties scene as a huge bombshell that everyone is waiting for to "prove how awful/lying/manipulative Zanab is". I think the scene really demonstrates their relationship; he is being slightly insensitive or ignorant with his comments about saving her appetite and not eating to get "wedding dress bod" and she is interpreting his mere mentions of food, appetite and weight loss as an attack or effort to control her intake. They are clearly not compatible and neither were ready for marriage but I don't think either are monsters. Zanab obviously has a lot of issues to work through but I personally don't think she is an awful person. What are we to really know of the truth that we see from a cut down and edited tv show, the rest is all speculation as Dr Kirk always mentions.

[@dietolina]

They ARE going to AIR IT and we can’t wait for your reaction 😩

[@marlynsantos9677]

This is soo satisfying to watch! It just DOES NOT ADD UP. She was soo extremely harsh to blast him and showed no self-awareness on anything she did. She sounds like a harsh reporter just reporting facts with no human emotion. If he really damaged her in the way shes claiming theres no way shed say I'd do it again. It just doesnt make sense. Her stories are elaborate and convincing to everyone but oh boy I can not wait for the golden cutie scene.

[@girlnettles]

The moment I saw Cole at the reunion. I knew he was gonna have a bad time. He looked disheveled and he didn’t present that way on the show. When I look like that, it means my world is upside down.

[@dawntaylor8749]

Agreed. He looked like a broken man 💔

[@Kalolelo]

In the show as in the beginning of the show or the reunion? I didn’t notice that in the show but I did notice in the reunion, he looked like a broken man 😞

[@girlnettles]

@@Kalolelo in the reunion, I meant!!

[@MMorgan182]

These comments are so reassuring. Y’all are my people 😂❤ watching everyone back up Z, I was dying. I felt gaslighted as a viewer.

[@Elm.egg18]

I know I’m super late to the party, but I felt the EXACT same way. I mean, I definitely don’t think either are blameless in this situation, but as someone who has ADHD, I see a lot of those traits in Cole. I obviously can’t say he has it for sure, but if he does, it puts a lot of things into context - like being oblivious to how something you said could be interpreted in a different way by someone, and not being able to catch onto certain social cues. And it obviously doesn’t excuse all of his comments/behaviors, but it would certainly change the perspective of some comments/behaviors.

[@barryopdam6452]

Haha this man knows how to build tension😂

[@jamiex6072]

Right I'm ready

[@Ola_Stawinska]

During the reunion i believed Cole, for the most part, especially after everyone just gang up on him, and he was so confused about what Zanab was talking about him. It looked honest to me. Also that he really apologized for his faults, but she never apologized for hers. He even defended her, when they showed all the scenes, when she was treating him like a child. He still said, that it wasnthat bad. And the fact, what dr Honda pointed out, that Zanab was accusing him of terrible things and yet still said that she love him and doesn't regret the experience with him, so weird. The cuties scene was just proof for me, that we cant really trust anything she said.

[@nairchantre4589]

Ufff Dr Honda is getting good at this KZbin game.. building SO MUCH anticipation 😩

[@antionetteportillo1622]

According to Cole in an interview for People magazine: Barnett revealed that he and Jaffrey had agreed to not tie the knot during the final take the relationship at "slower pace" without "the pressure" of marriage.

[@andra9601]

Thank You Doc! Finally some more validation (while still giving Zanab more benefit than I think she deserves). Yes I totally believe what Cole said. Though I do not believe that Cole rejected her as you said, I think that he would have said yes to marriage. I believe that Alexa, Nancy, Zanab and Raven (Raven to a lesser extent) are power tripping.. and that Zanab is distorted. When people are sooo distorted what they say, do, feel *doesn’t* match up. And thank you for acknowledging that the moderators are terrible at what they do.

[@bobococo89]

This!

[@andra9601]

Btw, Cole said in an interview that the two of them had talked before the wedding about saying no at the altar - apparently they woulda said no and go on to continue their relationship off camera. So my conspiracy is now, that Zanab felt hurt that Cole wasn’t one hundred percent in and that she saw his “I’m not/we’re not ready” argument as rejection and possible abandonment.. and that that set her off enough to plot the whole thing and blast him. Another ‘hypothesis’ I have is that the altar drama was just a test for Cole’s loyalty and love that he apparently failed because he never contacted her afterwards - she may have hoped that he contacts her and that they continue their relationship somehow, like they always seemed to work through things no(?), so maybe she was hoping they would work through that too (??) bc why else would she make a big fuss out of him not contacting her after the wedding? And then when he didn’t, she was very hurt and it turned into anger and vindictiveness.

[@KL-sr5jv]

Yess!!!

[@freespiritchristina]

@@andra9601 Sounds soooo Cluster B (specifically BPD). Of course I’m not diagnosing, but I come from a family of NPD and BPD people… She obviously experienced trauma from a young age from losing both of her parents that really shaped her and she missed out on a lot of their love that likely could’ve helped nurture and blossom her sense of self worth into something much healthier. She also certainly has fear of being left or abandoned, some irrational ones, from those deep wounds alone. I think her low self-esteem, insecurities, wild distortions (and disconnect from reality), and intense (unresolved) anger all stem from her loss and deepest childhood wounds that have never fully been addressed. I think she seeks approval (and her sense of self worth) in others, and it isn’t healthy at all. I think she doesn’t have a lot of control over her emotions so her moods can quick switch (kinda like how she idealizing Cole and then shortly after devalues and gaslights him). Her anger is so intense and irrational and I hope she really works on this and herself so she can be a happier person and have healthier relationships with people… try to make them want to be a better person instead of essentially sh!tting all over them and making them feel real despair. Her lack of empathy and complete distortion of reality trips me out, and I hope she learns her anger goes much deeper and it can really do a lot of harm if you don’t take a deep, dark, hard look within yourself. I think this is pathological, not just a little mood to blow off. It’s personality.

[@andra9601]

@@freespiritchristina yea.. could be. Cultural, environmental, social-political factors could be at play too if we’re talking personality. The way the show was edited too maybe also made her look bad.. Cole said it made both of them look kinda bad - he said that they took a lot of the serious Cole and serious Zanab and that the two of them had way more play and fun than what was shown, but that said, they did *only* spend like .. a month together, so the amount of conflict and the massive meltdown at the altar was still noteworthy/ disproportionate in size and weight compared to the times they must have spent in love and harmony together. Idk if it is possible to accumulate that much animosity towards someone in a month if one’s also spent a great deal of it having fun. So yea, def sus in terms of personality disorder traits imo.. or something!

[@baronvoncrask9412]

I like when she says I could have dragged you, and I am like you did during the wedding. If Cole is able to take ownership, seek counseling, why can't she?

[@Kalolelo]

She claims she’s in therapy yet she went and met with Cole’s ex-wife, it’s on her Instagram stories.

[@shaylamarie960]

Everyone just wants you to jump to the cuties scene already.....🤣 It's at the end of the finale, after the credits, so you'll see it, Dr. Honda!

[@Design____ByS]

I think Cole is just a simple bro who got caught up in a dangerous game.

[@aliciatara6520]

I feel like cole was gaslit by her into believing he was terrible and abusive to her

[@Ceceb22]

I believe bits and pieces of both of their stories. Cole has been shown to say and do some not ok things and Zay definitely has a distorted view of some things that have happened. I hated what she did at the altar. I knew people would absolutely come for her and just forget that Cole had issues too. Now no one deserves to be ridiculed like Cole was at the altar but what happened to him their wedding day doesn’t erase his faults either. And I hate to say it but the cuties scene didn’t change my opinion of that. It’s obviously only a clip but I personally didn’t like Coles reaction to the situation. It sounds like a lot of people had an “aha, we got you Zay” moment and I just didn’t. It honestly just showed me that Zay is struggling with her own issues and distortion but again it didn’t negate the things we saw Cole do/say as well that were very much not ok. But I understand I’m in the minority so we can agree to disagree.

[@ashleywilliams1988]

Similar opinion. I don’t think the cuties event is the “gotcha” moment people are making it. I still think they both were massively incompatible and you couldn’t pay me to date either of them.

[@jeans0130]

I think it's the intent behind what they did and said. Did Cole intentionally mean to hurt zay when he said those insensitive things? Most people believe so. Did Zay intentionally mean to hurt Cole when she made accusations against Cole? Most people believe so.

[@Youokhun]

“I could have dragged you” did she not drag him?? And how does she still love him and think he’s a good person but also drag him??

[@mandi4794]

yeah! that phrase made me really doubt her version of things. like if what she said at the altar wasn't dragging him than what was it?! her perception and self awareness is OFF!

[@iyanla09]

I laughed so hard when he said, "I hope Cole is okay" lmfao. I wouldn't after living with Zay Zay.

[@naibnpij]

What’s OFF about her is that SHE.WON’T.TAKE.ACCOUNTABILITY for her faults in the relationship too! She’s giving off narcissistic vibes…let’s hope the NEXT upload will be the CUTIES SCENE!! 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤣🤣

[@bobococo89]

If she ONLY would own up to her shit....I wouldn't have the need to continue to bash her. No one would. I would have validated her feelings. I can't...

[@maryblanc2289]

I didn’t like how the all ganged up on Cole. What really bothered me was when Nancy kept at him. I was like “Girl, you worry about that Bartisse guy over there that embarrassed you in front of everyone”.

[@bobococo89]

Exactly! She needs her to mind her own.

[@ilzemalnaca931]

I believe Cole, for sure. Zae is too insecure of herself. Almost cried along with Cole when I saw that.

[@AnimalsDressedasHumans]

After the cuties scene, we need you to read her joke of an apology to the internet

[@casstaggart3051]

The way Coke starts questioning his sanity is so fucking sad

[@MBeano]

2:19 Cole is asked who the first person from this group that you called? Cole answers "I dont know, I remember getting in the car with my friends and saying this is not her". Dr Honda says it sounds believable. Supporting evidence says it is believable. Just look at the footage of the wedding after Zanab's speech. Zanab continues to paint herself as a hero with statements like "This is for the women who date him (something to that effect), and she continues to paint Cole as the villain. Cut to Cole at the wedding set, he doesn't say one negative thing about Zay. His comments are all about confusion. He even shares a moment with Zanab's Stepmom that is more emotional and intimate than the shared moment between Zanab and her Stepmom. So his recounting of what he said to his friends, tracks. He is and has been very consistent, with his flaws as well.

[@ilikemaline]

She is such a gaslighter. The more I watch this the more I feel for him.

[@secorapickett3358]

The fact that 10 people sat in a room and couldn't recognize abuse as it happened right in front of them is wild. It's very clear Zay's story and her feelings don't add up. And she always finds a way to tear him down. Her compliments are backhanded. And the only time she can be "supportive" is when he's begging for forgiveness. Wack.

[@Stormy575]

Am I the only one who didn't even think that Zay's version of the cuties story was a big problem? She takes two cuties, he says Are you going to eat both? She says maybe, he says well save your appetite because we're going out to dinner. If that's abusive then I've been abused by my entire family.

[@ads13924]

Strange that even 7 people like this comment. Yes if you think that is OK, then you may have been abused. She isnt skinny, he already made another comment in another episode regarding her weight. Not acceptable

[@azii2973]

@@ads13924 are you ok??? All he was implying was that he didn’t want her snacking to make her full before they have dinner!!!

[@bobococo89]

@@ads13924 I don't think you paid attention...she was making fun of herself about being fat and started that conversation....but ofc Cole being naive played into it and repeated what she said back and she got upset. You're playing into her victim card...and it's sad

[@Bec_loves_Jesus]

@@ads13924 I wish these comnents would stay on reddit, they just relish in bullying Zanab.

[@Bec_loves_Jesus]

Seriously warped take...

[@lesliekussmann5101]

Dr Honda I just want to say a big thank you for what you do. I can’t imagine how you find the time given you teach and counsel. I have respect for you providing the info you do online, which I think is making the world a better place. Years and years ago pre therapy I didn’t realize men like you existed. Then I had therapy with a wonderful man like you and it changed my whole perspective. I now know what a healthy male is. Just wondering how tired you are right now? Lol

[@alyssamelody9190]

I hope you do a recap of the full season after knowing how it all plays out!

[@JONandCHERIE]

Screaming. SCREAMING ALONE IN MY KITCHEN as I listen to doc say, “we gotta find out, they should bring a camera person in there!… They’d get a lot of clicks for that… that would be tv gold!” as I frantically click on Dr. H’s channel daily in hopes he’s made it to the “cuties scene”. TOMORROW GUYS. TOMORROWWWW.

[@heavenboulevard]

So funny watching this knowing any day now you'll post your reaction to the cuties scene at the end of the episode

[@melissastiltner3752]

I literally yelled at the TV “No Dr Kirk!!! Don’t end it before they show the cutie scene!!! “

[@Emmah1243]

Cutiegate is here! ETA: omg we were so close! Doc is dragging this out

[@ligli500]

I could see how Zanab would say she would do the experiment with Cole again OR that she knows Cole is essentially a good guy as fitting in with the strong Christian idea of forgiveness and compassion. I'm not religious, but I honestly don't understand why Zanab trying to be kind to Cole (not purely resentful or angry or bitter) while also getting her truth out (no matter how distorted) is so confusing to people. As someone who has been assaulted multiple times by different times, I understand that what happened to me was fkd up AND ALSO that most of those men didn't think what they were doing was wrong, and that their abusive behaviour doesn't totally define their entire being. Thoughts? (Mostly on the ideas in the first paragraph lol)

[@charlize9341]

Yes, I agree these contradictory statements may be coming from her religious framing. I have been thinking she may be thinking of it all as God's plan and therefore not bad.

[@nnn9122]

I agree with all of what you've said here. I'm super confused as to why Dr. Honda thinks Zanab doesn't make any sense. Isn't he the one frequently saying that just because a person does something bad, that doesn't mean they're a bad person? Isn't he usually calling people out on their black-and-white thinking? I can understand why Zanab would say she would do it all over again. Because even though there were parts of the experience that were painful, there is a world in which Cole bringing her insecurities to the surface or forefront of her mind (whether he meant to or not) was the catalyst to have her seek help and work on those. She said in interviews that she's been going to therapy. I don't know. To me, it sounded like Zanab was saying all of the things that Dr. Honda is repeatedly asking of people, but when she is the one to deliver on that, he says, "What? She doesn't make any sense. There's something very incongruent." Am I missing something here?

[@dawntaylor8749]

Yes. I'm in the Church, and I felt she was trying to be a good Christian, even though I don't believe in her heart she's forgiven him yet. I see that a lot in Christian circles, performative forgiving.

[@mferrariish]

@@nnn9122 yes, I think you’re missing something. I’ll give this example, when I was abused by an ex, when I first attempted to leave I still had empathy for him and even though I knew the things he was doing were wrong, I loved him and tried to protect him. I was manipulated and would’ve NEVER tried to humiliate him in public because I was not only afraid but also thought “he didn’t deserve it”. A couple years later, I began to see the situation for what it was and I despise him. But the way Zenab is pretending to be some sort of victim but then tries to continuously humiliate him does not make sense. Also, keep in mind that they only knew each other for a short period of time so if he was that terrible, would she really feel this jaded??? Would you?? Idk. Something is off with Zenab. I think the abusive one or manipulative one in this relationship is her.

[@nnn9122]

@@mferrariish I understand what you're saying and I'm sorry you went through that, but I don't feel comfortable definitively stating that it was Zanab's intention to humiliate him. And I understand how ridiculous that must sound since it seems like so many people believe it's completely obvious and can't be seen any other way, but I can only know what I have seen and heard from Cole and Zanab. I can't *know* their individual intentions unless they explicitly share them, and even then, I can't trust that either of them would be honest about it (consciously or not).

[@SteamyBun]

Also want to add: The way Zanab is able to appear so collected while Cole is crying is extremely off-putting imo. There's almost this smugness about her like she knows she "won," and now she's trying to present herself as this generous, compassionate person. Idk. If I see someone I care about, or even used to care about, crying, there's no way I'm staying that collected.

[@rachelleeden8824]

@Dr. Honda - He is okay. Or at least better. In follow-ups he said that he immediately went to therapy and got the help he believed he needed. A lot of fans messaged Zanab and referred her to getting therapy and she said she doesn't need it because everyone is misinterpreting her.

[@Scumgab]

Wait till after the credits for the cuties scene!!! I watched and literally thought... I can't wait for Kirk to review this!!

[@savannahnovotny8789]

Cole’s behavior reminds me of myself when I’ve been gaslit

[@mamabente8646]

Zay comes accross sooo not genuine at all. With the whole "I forgive you" thing, it looks like she's trying to not look cruel for making Cole so miserabel. She did say that she's not the most confident person from the very start, so I don't think Cole destroyed her self confidence. It has been shattered already from the start, and every little thing he did, she took as a confirmation that she's rejectable and unlovable. Just think of the "silent treatment" and "I said great, he said good" after the first night. She literally turned every situation around to act like a victim. And then she graciously forgives him and thanks him for the experience? She's trying to look good in front of everybody. Especially, once you lie and have everyone on your side, you'll try to keep it that way... She must be acting here, or really distorted... Is this some sort of hystrionic/boarderline Amber Heard-like story to make people take her side...? She's literally taking innocent words of Cole - not even real comments about her weight or anything close to that -and accusing him of fat shaming her to the point where she wouldn't eat until she almost passed out???!! I think Cole is lucky that he got out of that relationship! Maybe he was just asking whether she's gonna have two of the cuties cause he wanted some too, or if I read Cole correctly, just for no particular reason at all. He seems to just talk for the sake of talking, especially in that scene. Maybe he has some neurologic condition that makes him socially unaware, even unaware about himself. What does Dr. H think about my conceptualization.?

[@PsychologyInSeattle]

Yes, that's a sound conceptualization! It's hard to know, of course, without her providing context and nuance.

[@ashleysmith1369]

YES DR. HONDA!!!!! I am so glad. I was so confused by this whole thing as well at the time.

[@cle2]

Did anyone else have a “Nooooooooooo!!!!” Moment when they realized he wasn’t gonna play the cuties scene? Lol. Chronologically I guess they did cover a whole other couple before they showed that scene so hopefully he’ll get to it. But good balanced takes all and all.

[@carliemccracken5089]

I honestly felt a little traumatized myself just watching what she did to him at the altar and afterward. This is very disturbing. The abuse here seems obvious to me. He’s not hurting because she said “no” at the altar. He’s hurting because he loved her and as she’s saying she loved him, she’s simultaneously turning their reality tv experience into a coliseum and systematically trying to tear him apart while the world cheers, all the while blaming him for the abuse he suffers and taking the glory. This is ugly. What I liked about LIB was the honesty and vulnerability of people putting themselves out there to connect. But this. I would not enjoy seeing anyone treated like this. I hope he’s got a good therapist and that he’s ok now.

[@maciw456]

Dr Honda can you share what you do in session when you get 2 polarizing versions of a story?

[@lavinder11]

I think LIB is redeemable, but they must change out the hosts. Vanessa gets really triggered and takes what happens between the costars personally.

[@howtorelationshippodcast]

Yep! I agree! I REALLY wish they made Lauren and Cameron the new hosts!!!

[@shescalledirina]

And vet people properly, pick people who are actually interested in finding love, not just there for their 15 minutes. Unfortunately things need to start with the producers.

[@howtorelationshippodcast]

@@shescalledirina Yes, I agree with this SO MUCH too! They really need to get people properly and make sure that not only do they actually want to get married, but are mentally stable (I.e. Matt & Zanab)!

[@charlize9341]

I read the man Lachey's (can't remember his first name) comment as defending the show after Cole broke down and showed how much the show had harmed him. He said, "It's too bad your bonds (or something like that) in the pods didn't last," reframing the show itself back to viewers as having made a good thing even if it didn't last.

[@dawntaylor8749]

🎯

[@piaschmidt7357]

"you treated me badly but i do not think youre a bad person" makes no sense lmao thats like saying "you were constantly racist to me but i dont think you are a racist person" like whaaa? "i could have dragged you" yet still insists she spontaneously said no and didnt plan it lmao. If her friends knew how "miserable" she felt then they would have obviously also known she was going to say no. Her friends would have obviously been more shocked had she said yes.

[@Sofia-ff8fs]

I cannot take this!!! PLEASE. THE CUTIES SCENE. PLEAAAAASE

[@enjt-fran]

I am not a Cole sympathizer but seeing him cry and Zay being so unaffected made me feel a bit sorry for him. But he did say some wild stuff without Zay's distortion, he is not good boyfriend material to me, but his regret is an indication that he can be better.

[@abie_irabor]

Zanab just sounds so victimizing to herself. I get it we don't see the whole experience because at the end of the day this show (like all reality tv shows) is edited to make an interesting/binge worthy show that people will want to watch, but I think we've all seen enough to see that she is distorting so much of her claims. Claiming that Cole is the reason why she ate only a banana and peanut butter is just outlandish. The cuties story - we all saw it - he was not being demanding, she distorted that whole moment. Cole had good intentions in that moment he did not say what he said in a malicious way to "destroy" her confidence. And the fact that Zanab said "I could have dragged you" like girl you did! We all saw it. It was uncalled for. I was rooting for Zanab in the beginning, but as the season went on she lost me...She's confusing....everything she says does not add up at all. I agree. Please do a video on "The Cuties Story".