Love is not a business deal | Lindsay MacMillan | TEDxUniversityCollegeCork

As a modern love author and former Vice President at Goldman Sachs, Lindsay MacMillan explores heartfelt and humorous parallels between romance and finance, from how we talk about the return on investment in relationships to hedging our options. The key to finding true love, MacMillan says, is to stop treating dating like a business deal.
Lindsay MacMillan is an author, businesswoman, and hopelessly hopeful romantic. After graduating magna cum laude from Dartmouth College, she worked at Goldman Sachs for six years in both New York and London, rising up to become a vice president. While working in finance, she carved out early mornings and weekends to pursue her dream of being a novelist and has now taken the leap to write full-time. Her debut novel, The Heart of the Deal, is a contemporary love story publishing in June 2022, and her second book is forthcoming in 2023. Strong, relatable women who are re-defining success in their careers and relationships are at the centre of her stories. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@GetYourLifeBetter]

We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness, and call it love, True Love.

[@derekg5563]

@Get Your Life Better: Speak for yourself. Maybe that's how it works for you, but not for most people.

[@hannesRSA]

Bro.. speak for yourself, I'm a lot weird.

[@mrx-channel]

Если из относительно бюджетного топчика - Шкода, тот же Рапид в максималке, с турбо + робот (и чипануть, подобрать колёса и тормоза) + опции для безопасности, те же ПБ "в круг", для меня уже не "бяка" (ещё и багажник какой, инструмент в высоких систейнерах едва ли, даже в Октавии универсал... Тигуан бы, но сложить сидушки, распределить как-то) Из совсем топа (на данный момент хочу выделить): 911 Turbo S, нужно практичнее - M5 CS, ещё больше - Panamera Turbo S (лифтбек/универсал), ещё больше мест / багажника, проходимости - SQ7 (промежуточно - Cayenne Turbo GT, а аналоги (смена акцентов): Кайен не купе, RS Q8, Urus), проходимее - Defender, дальше уже готовить полноценный внедорожник (Форчунер или схожее), либо спецтехника. Может и RS6, как промежуточное между Панамерой и далее, если какие-то буксования на малой скорости, да - геометрия (и не только), но вдруг какой-то раллийный режим, а не более серьёзное бездорожье.

[@randyoehlert5045]

Why do you believe that you're weird?

[@randyoehlert5045]

Love is a decision that you make everyday To Love this person or not to.

[@WesternAustraliaNowAndThen]

What people call love is actually infatuation. It is the initial stage of love but real love comes along (if you are lucky) once the infatuation fades and you see the other person for who they actually are. So many relationships fail because infatuation does not allow you to see the other person for who and what they are. Thankfully I am from a generation that just fell in love because we fell in love. We didn't have apps or check lists or social media to make life more difficult.

[@mrx-channel]

Если из относительно бюджетного топчика - Шкода, тот же Рапид в максималке, с турбо + робот (и чипануть, подобрать колёса и тормоза) + опции для безопасности, те же ПБ "в круг", для меня уже не "бяка" (ещё и багажник какой, инструмент в высоких систейнерах едва ли, даже в Октавии универсал... Тигуан бы, но сложить сидушки, распределить как-то) Из совсем топа (на данный момент хочу выделить): 911 Turbo S, нужно практичнее - M5 CS, ещё больше - Panamera Turbo S (лифтбек/универсал), ещё больше мест / багажника, проходимости - SQ7 (промежуточно - Cayenne Turbo GT, а аналоги (смена акцентов): Кайен не купе, RS Q8, Urus), проходимее - Defender, дальше уже готовить полноценный внедорожник (Форчунер или схожее), либо спецтехника. Может и RS6, как промежуточное между Панамерой и далее, если какие-то буксования на малой скорости, да - геометрия (и не только), но вдруг какой-то раллийный режим, а не более серьёзное бездорожье.

[@lucial.3958]

That is why inner work/Shadow work is so essential. Being able to confront and bear uncomfortable situations also in your relationships.

[@mrx-channel]

Если из относительно бюджетного топчика - Шкода, тот же Рапид в максималке, с турбо + робот (и чипануть, подобрать колёса и тормоза) + опции для безопасности, те же ПБ "в круг", для меня уже не "бяка" (ещё и багажник какой, инструмент в высоких систейнерах едва ли, даже в Октавии универсал... Тигуан бы, но сложить сидушки, распределить как-то) Из совсем топа (на данный момент хочу выделить): 911 Turbo S, нужно практичнее - M5 CS, ещё больше - Panamera Turbo S (лифтбек/универсал), ещё больше мест / багажника, проходимости - SQ7 (промежуточно - Cayenne Turbo GT, а аналоги (смена акцентов): Кайен не купе, RS Q8, Urus), проходимее - Defender, дальше уже готовить полноценный внедорожник (Форчунер или схожее), либо спецтехника. Может и RS6, как промежуточное между Панамерой и далее, если какие-то буксования на малой скорости, да - геометрия (и не только), но вдруг какой-то раллийный режим, а не более серьёзное бездорожье.

[@btceth9409]

what is shadow work??

[@MandyJRoss]

If you're reading this I'm praying something amazing happens for you today.❤🙏🏼

[@joekto8805]

You too dear. 🙏

[@eternalyfeful]

Right back atcha Mandy!

[@_index_1328]

your prayers remain unanswered, please try praying another time

[@moniprchlik1523]

And to you also.🍀🌻

[@bartos7152]

My father died

[@Alicapy]

This was actually really nice to hear. Social media has its pros but its cons on dating are very real. She seemed really excited doing this talk and I’m glad she did. I just hope that more people take this transformational approach to dating rather than a transactional one.

[@user-jd8ju9fy8k]

hello

[@mrx-channel]

Если из относительно бюджетного топчика - Шкода, тот же Рапид в максималке, с турбо + робот (и чипануть, подобрать колёса и тормоза) + опции для безопасности, те же ПБ "в круг", для меня уже не "бяка" (ещё и багажник какой, инструмент в высоких систейнерах едва ли, даже в Октавии универсал... Тигуан бы, но сложить сидушки, распределить как-то) Из совсем топа (на данный момент хочу выделить): 911 Turbo S, нужно практичнее - M5 CS, ещё больше - Panamera Turbo S (лифтбек/универсал), ещё больше мест / багажника, проходимости - SQ7 (промежуточно - Cayenne Turbo GT, а аналоги (смена акцентов): Кайен не купе, RS Q8, Urus), проходимее - Defender, дальше уже готовить полноценный внедорожник (Форчунер или схожее), либо спецтехника. Может и RS6, как промежуточное между Панамерой и далее, если какие-то буксования на малой скорости, да - геометрия (и не только), но вдруг какой-то раллийный режим, а не более серьёзное бездорожье.

[@alphabeta8403]

8:00 FOMO 10:30 Love is transformational *All the best lovin’ everyone!*

[@molassescricket6663]

Quite an insightful perspective, spot on, and under acknowledged! Thank you!

[@eddygan325]

Thank you

[@eternalyfeful]

This was really good! Very needed talk for this climate we're in with relationships.

[@mrx-channel]

Если из относительно бюджетного топчика - Шкода, тот же Рапид в максималке, с турбо + робот (и чипануть, подобрать колёса и тормоза) + опции для безопасности, те же ПБ "в круг", для меня уже не "бяка" (ещё и багажник какой, инструмент в высоких систейнерах едва ли, даже в Октавии универсал... Тигуан бы, но сложить сидушки, распределить как-то) Из совсем топа (на данный момент хочу выделить): 911 Turbo S, нужно практичнее - M5 CS, ещё больше - Panamera Turbo S (лифтбек/универсал), ещё больше мест / багажника, проходимости - SQ7 (промежуточно - Cayenne Turbo GT, а аналоги (смена акцентов): Кайен не купе, RS Q8, Urus), проходимее - Defender, дальше уже готовить полноценный внедорожник (Форчунер или схожее), либо спецтехника. Может и RS6, как промежуточное между Панамерой и далее, если какие-то буксования на малой скорости, да - геометрия (и не только), но вдруг какой-то раллийный режим, а не более серьёзное бездорожье.

[@user-fp7eo1of5i]

Awesome advice, thank you 😊 🙏

[@patrickhollywood93]

Thank you 💗 & well said. I don't feel like such an oddball. Great TED talk.

[@text2324]

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[@Wrangglering]

Great smile! Good advice!

[@brandonf.8360]

If I could add, intimate relationships aren't built on competition or being cut throat. The dating market may be but a two person partnership should only be focused on themselves and not the performances of others.

[@david_oliveira71]

Realistic, thought-out and very true! Thanks!

[@brandonf.8360]

@@david_oliveira71 thank you and you're welcome

[@danielphilip4349]

Love her words

[@text2324]

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[@joeferreira657]

You are a stunner, lovely women . Good talk.

[@markbraxton1289]

Love is not a business agreement...but we encourage that feeling by referring to each other as partners a cold business like description that only belongs in business..

[@text2324]

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[@anisursumon4226]

Success is the best revenge 💕 💕

[@text2324]

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[@bothersomebrothers1753]

Facts.

[@text2324]

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[@divyanshujaani]

Love you 😘 💝💝🤗

[@uuuuuu7886]

Well done girl you are amazing ❤

[@MahirTripathi]

Hello nouthty girl

[@rob1016ny]

Marriage is a business deal. Don’t believe me, get divorced. When you have a relationship that depends upon another, that’s the deal. You handle your business, I’ll mine and we’ll get to do more together than we could have as Individuals. A better life for us both. Wait until you depend upon “half” for the mortgage you couldn’t afford without a second income. You were so right, until you let emotions to get the best of you. I hope you grow out of it. Few bad business deals and you won’t worry about “profiting” but rather “losing”. That’s when you’ll see it as business. Lol.

[@lisamatthews890]

🔥Because of blood-tests...and the title: “Marriage License” since I was 6 I decided that I would never marry or at least not in that-way. My best friend and I in 1966 were sitting near a tree on a grassy lot in an olde cemetery having an excellent conversation when after two hours of answering one of her deep questions I fell asleep on the grass, when I woke she was sitting close-by weaving a pine-straw ring, I watched as she completed the ring. Then she asked if she could put her ring on my finger, so I let her. After we walked back to my home and her Mother was there to pick-her-up I said good bye and went inside only to be greeted by my family at the table playing rummy all laughing at me! So I asked them why and my Mom said: “Go look in the mirror: John;(a nic-name of mine that my Mom never-used.). I went to the bathroom to see in the mirror that Diana had put flowers all in my hair and a pine-straw-crown on my head. I couldn’t believe she did that and I had walked home like that in my Millville(tough) neighborhood, after-all everybody in the ‘hood’;(except-for my Mom) called me John. When I walked back into the dinning room and showed Mom the ring that Diana had put on my finger, Mom smiled sweetly and said: “Looks like Diana has married you Lisa.” And I liked that! So since I was 6 and Diana was 7 I have felt married. When Diana passed-over at 14 (as she had predicted she would on our first ‘play-date’ saying to me: “Lisa I will let-you be my best friend if you can accept the fact that I will die young.”) from a boating accident fire at the hospital we were given one hour by our Mom’s to say good-bye before Tyndall A.F. Base flew her to Brooks Burn Center. As I I closed the door to her hospital room the first thing she said to me was “This is it! Lisa, I cannot survive this.” then she promised to reincarnate: “I will live my life all over again: Lisa, just to find you do you believe me?” I told her yes then and almost-49 years later I love her still and still feel married to her, so I wait for the reincarnated Diana Maria Poffek to find me.💎 P.S. And I honestly told the entire story and the fact that if my Diana; reincarnated, ever showed up: all she would have to do is say as she use to: “Lisa, come”and I would have-to go/ follow her. My M., present mate; 27 years ago, replied: “I’ll take those odds.” 🗺. 🌴🦦B.S.N. F.S.U.🦩

[@text2324]

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[@text2324]

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[@rahulmotivation076]

गुनाह करके सजा से डरते है, ज़हर पी के दवा से डरते है, दुश्मनो के सितम का खौफ नहीं हमे, हम दोस्तों के खफा होने से डरते है.

[@Chris-ce7ve]

Some people look for a perfect love with dream partners, wich is an illusion, because nobody is perfect. So real love just means unconditional acceptance and the will to make each other feel good. We all know it, we had it as children. A baby will allways offer unconditional love to the parents.

[@text2324]

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[@davidronbrothers1764]

She’s right and she is hilariously like Vanessa Bayer on SNL.

[@priscillamarchaconde120]

🔥

[@mrx-channel]

Если из относительно бюджетного топчика - Шкода, тот же Рапид в максималке, с турбо + робот (и чипануть, подобрать колёса и тормоза) + опции для безопасности, те же ПБ "в круг", для меня уже не "бяка" (ещё и багажник какой, инструмент в высоких систейнерах едва ли, даже в Октавии универсал... Тигуан бы, но сложить сидушки, распределить как-то) Из совсем топа (на данный момент хочу выделить): 911 Turbo S, нужно практичнее - M5 CS, ещё больше - Panamera Turbo S (лифтбек/универсал), ещё больше мест / багажника, проходимости - SQ7 (промежуточно - Cayenne Turbo GT, а аналоги (смена акцентов): Кайен не купе, RS Q8, Urus), проходимее - Defender, дальше уже готовить полноценный внедорожник (Форчунер или схожее), либо спецтехника. Может и RS6, как промежуточное между Панамерой и далее, если какие-то буксования на малой скорости, да - геометрия (и не только), но вдруг какой-то раллийный режим, а не более серьёзное бездорожье.

[@mrx-channel]

=)

[@bilgisever_kullanici]

I don’t agree. I had a checklist too and I couldn’t be more happier now. After 15 years I can say that this was the best move of my life.

[@richardpauly1635]

Love happens when it happens it's unpredictable you just do it

[@text2324]

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[@text2324]

Life-changing

[@VillageCookingWithParnik]

You are the best❤❤❤🥰🥰🥰

[@GorgeousRoddyChrome]

the video was posted 1 min ago. how do you know it is good?

[@VillageCookingWithParnik]

@@GorgeousRoddyChrome I wrote about the Ted channel as a whole my friend.

[@GorgeousRoddyChrome]

@@VillageCookingWithParnik So you're not a bot? 😲 Congrats 🤣

[@abbigailclark1156]

The dating and business deal analogy was good, but she never acknowledged that the goals of each are not actually the same. You date to spend your LIFE with someone. When closing a deal, you aren’t marrying it. When dating, the goal shouldn’t be to get married, but instead to find someone you want to spend forever with.

[@text2324]

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[@joekto8805]

The time is a valuable things.said by Linkin park. Hope everyone live their beautiful time with beautiful relationship 👍❤️

[@text2324]

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[@mrpaulcreations2172]

Yes truly ✌️

[@GorgeousRoddyChrome]

the video was posted 1 min ago. how do you know it is good?

[@ugowhereiwent]

Love isn't. Marriage is. Well it used to be before romantism of the 19th century.

[@yahbueze4135]

Love shouldn't be transactional. Sadly, both have become indistinguishable; congratulations to law, social media and bias

[@TravelvlogsDNA573]

nice superb 👍

[@GorgeousRoddyChrome]

the video was posted 1 min ago. how do you know it is good?

[@scottkleyla7752]

Stay Safe

[@text2324]

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[@claudiaxander]

Russian Oligarch: Hold My Stolichnaya!

[@lorie76yt]

I agree that love is not a business deal - but, marriage is

[@text2324]

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[@IM_ROZZ_YT.O1]

Let's w a moment to appreciate how much effort he puts into his contact to entertain.❤️☺️

[@5uper_Breezy]

Love is not a business deal... but marriage is tho

[@text2324]

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[@stevent8314]

Dating is not a business deal. But marriage certainly is. The problem is that marriage has far more consequential impacts than most any business deal. Marriage has significant moral, relational, religious & spiritual aspects, too. If most folks had realized just how much monopolistic control over aspects of their lives that one partner had been giving to the other - the contract negotiation phase would have resulted in more clearly defined roles & expectations. Being trained in Economics, I can speak to the evils of any form of monopoly. Our society is screwed up. We have an inherited Pagan Roman Legal & Family System that is imposed upon a Biblically -Based Hebraic Moral Understanding of behavior. Mixing the two creates a disharmony. The tension is palpable. Statistics prove my point. Over half of all marriages fail. The rates of failure among both religious & non-religious marriages are virtually the same. There is no moral fix to the problem. The Institution of Marriage as practiced in America is broken. The very system is flawed. I haven’t studied the statistics in other Western nations. I cannot speak to their status. But the very institution of Marriage itself creates a lot of unhappiness in America. Single people are lonely in America. But so are most married people.

[@Skualo-77]

Yes for sure i ❤👉❓🤔😑

[@asmitsingh233]

nice idea nice topic but the majority of the tym was spent in talking about the prblm than the solution. Could have been better

[@benjamindover4337]

If your standards are super high, the reality is that you just want to be alone forever. It isn't that the guy isn't good enough. You just chose cats.

[@text2324]

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[@Ana-dl7zl]

Cats are cute. The guy should choose them too

[@andraioana5313]

Fisic îs uniextar

[@inakulsingh]

🙇🏻‍♂️😻😻

[@GorgeousRoddyChrome]

the video was posted 1 min ago. how do you know it is good? ...bot

[@stringly_typed]

"Love is not a business deal". Proceeds to spend 10 minutes explaining why love is like a business deal.

[@text2324]

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[@rapalaocho]

Love is a business deal only for her....

[@text2324]

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[@lisasternenkind6467]

I have a pre-millenial birth date, so I never dealt with people as a business matter.

[@text2324]

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[@Aldridge517]

Romantic love is overrated. Also, flipping the triangle upside down puts casual dating at the top. Which is unintentionally hilarious and probably accurate.

[@igbokweuche2065]

Is it not possible that her point of view on love and relationships may partially be influenced from her social class and upbringing. This is to say that she can afford to have wants that are abstract to a class of persons but may seem entirely utopian to persons with similar experience as hers. My point is a child birthed in poverty and hunger will always love the hand that provides however transactional such love may seem.

[@text2324]

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[@jameslast4420]

Stopped watching after @07:10 "equal give and take" - there's no such a thing. It's so difficult to find a meaningful video these days. 20-year-olds think they know enough to stand in front of the audience and talk about something as if they have understood it. The bible says: if you think you know something, you don't really know anything.

[@tombarr1876]

What is she talking about ?

[@text2324]

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[@aistemirauskiene6165]

So many words and yet the real problem is overseen and a terrible advice given. "Give people a chance"...So many women alredy settle for less because of low self-esteem, and so many of them may start using this as an excuse to oversee a toxic partner. Cause so many already are doing it. Using any type of excuse that they hear from outside to stay in an unhealthy relationship while believing they are the problem.

[@giovannidepetris6335]

You live in a world that is not humane any more

[@jtjtrs8806]

Social media and modern dating pushed loved out of a relationship, modern relationship are more like a contract , modern woman are also adding to the problem by setting the standards so high that are limited to meet anybody, men are trying to keep up and trying to reach so high to come up with what those woman want , if you go back to the old days with out Social media and greedy woman , you will find that people like our parents had simple yet important values, like good kind hearted respectful people, so stop making love a business treaty and leave social media aside meet people in person with out greed in your mind !!!!

[@text2324]

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[@archenema6792]

Someone who hides their true face from the world out of abject insecurity, and fear that people might see here for who she truly is, knows nothing of love.

[@souvik9124]

""One of the best thing about dude is that he never takes credit for himself when he achieves something. He always respect us, the audience and his team, and he is polite in all his videos. We congratulate ourselves on this Thanks❤️

[@mrx-channel]

Если из относительно бюджетного топчика - Шкода, тот же Рапид в максималке, с турбо + робот (и чипануть, подобрать колёса и тормоза) + опции для безопасности, те же ПБ "в круг", для меня уже не "бяка" (ещё и багажник какой, инструмент в высоких систейнерах едва ли, даже в Октавии универсал... Тигуан бы, но сложить сидушки, распределить как-то) Из совсем топа (на данный момент хочу выделить): 911 Turbo S, нужно практичнее - M5 CS, ещё больше - Panamera Turbo S (лифтбек/универсал), ещё больше мест / багажника, проходимости - SQ7 (промежуточно - Cayenne Turbo GT, а аналоги (смена акцентов): Кайен не купе, RS Q8, Urus), проходимее - Defender, дальше уже готовить полноценный внедорожник (Форчунер или схожее), либо спецтехника. Может и RS6, как промежуточное между Панамерой и далее, если какие-то буксования на малой скорости, да - геометрия (и не только), но вдруг какой-то раллийный режим, а не более серьёзное бездорожье.

[@JM-gz1ej]

She looks too casual while taking about a serious topic

[@text2324]

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[@haasolomon5006]

There's an opportunity for newbies to capitalize on, it's quite a shame people can't see this, cryptocurrency is far better than any digital trade now.

[@ericgreen914]

Exactly I'm with you on this

[@ericgreen914]

Just bought $10k alcoins and $30k worth Ethereum. With the recent dip in Crypto I was told it's the right time to buy and set down and see myself turning to a millionaire soon

[@ritapeter1230]

How does this whole bitcoin thing work, I'm interested in it and I'm willing and ready to invest heavily but I need an assistant to properly guide me through on how to make a good start up and be successful in it without making mistakes.

[@ossaifuture8497]

@@ericgreen914 For real crypto trading is very profitable when you trade well.

[@ossaifuture8497]

Mr's Dawn Fitzpatrick has been such a blessing to me, my colleague got me involved in this and I can't thank her enough, my first placement was a little amount of Ethereum and my investment has been growing so well even with the current dip

[@tahmeedmazumder6877]

Clearly she hasnt met asians lol

[@hannesRSA]

It's exactly a business deal? Sometimes no intimacy after the single kid is made?

[@SMOKEY428]

For Indians , it’s between two families

[@kazakhchad6766]

Yesterday I met a girl, she is a 14 years old girl. I'm a 17 years old, is it OK? Because I think it's kinda strange.

[@richardpauly1635]

Once your 18 and you get her pregnant maybe not pending what country you live in

[@kazakhchad6766]

@@richardpauly1635 no, making a babies it's doesn't in my plan. And she only 14, so I will don't do anything related to her.

[@benjamindover4337]

Yes its fine. Don't ever let people tell you who you are allowed to love.

[@kazakhchad6766]

@@benjamindover4337 OK, big thanks. I appreciate it.

[@HalStaniloff]

Truly the most naive view on the topic I have ever heard. If you have ever been through a divorce, you’ll know that the law treats the relationship like a business partnership looking to dissolve. I will never ever get so involved with anyone to a point where long term cohabitation gets discussed no less implemented.

[@gnes_moufiartista]

The same !! Totally agree !

[@mohamed3rbi268]

God loves you and cares for you until this message reaches you that God exists and that life is a test for every human being, and either he will succeed in it and enter the eternal paradise, or he will fail in it and burn in it. Fire of the world first, then permanent fire after death. Decide what to do first and last, the world is very short compared to the days of God, so do not lose it and you are not right The biggest loss for a person is to die without knowing God and His Messenger Muhammad. This is right or not, God loves you and takes care of you

[@text2324]

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[@mohamed3rbi268]

@@text2324 where is the number

[@text2324]

@@mohamed3rbi268 TEXT±𝟾𝟶𝟸𝟼𝟿𝟻𝟶𝟿𝟼𝟽

[@hugofeldhammer7590]

Unfortunately, this talk is very shallow - clearly, the way we think about dating and relationships isn't helping. That's undoubtedly true. But: It is important to realize that there is a reason that many of us think this way. I think that comes from lack of personal maturity, from our (in)ability for self-reflection and our lack of authenticity. The problem now is that even if we change the way we approach dating, it won't change our behavior towards a potential partner. It won't improve our willingness to compromise and be respectful, avoiding lies, admitting our weaknesses, etc. This is only possible if we first work on ourselves and enable us to to act authentically and loyally towards a partner. Otherwise we will not be unhappy when dating, but later in the way we live our relationship. Happiness in relationships is a way longer journey in personal development than most people are able to realize. Btw. it is a very bad proposal to give a person a chance that doesn't correspond to our personal checklist: The better proposal would be to really understand what items should be on the checklist. "Overwhelming beauty or at least 6' tall" are absolutely irrelevant. But an active person should never try to date a passive one, an intelligent and well educated person should never meet with people that think about science as if it were another believe system, people who value fidelity should avoid dating people who are more likely to enjoy open love, etc. (I think you get my point) - that will never bode well, you don't need to "try" that. So yes, it is about knowing yourself well enough to be able to define an appropriate checklist. As soon as we improved our personality, it will become pretty clear to us that our dating strategies and also our behavior within relationships currently are pretty toxic and will most likely not lead to a harmonic relationship.