Make her work for it: don't just hand it over

[@psychacks]

One of the reasons by women disproportionately end relationships is that they don't have to work for the relationships they have. Whereas most women make men work for sex, most men do not make women work for commitment: they hand it to them on a silver platter lest they jeopardize the sexual opportunity. Like many things in life, it's easy come, easy go. If you want a woman to fight for her relationship, then you have to make her work for it. Patrice O'Neal: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bHzddJl_jqalo7M Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jaO7c62HZ613e7M Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: kzbin.info/door/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #dating #women

[@phillip6083]

Vetting vs bedding.

[@TheRomans9Guy]

I've listened to a lot of your videos, and although I'm not a therapist I have done lots of counseling with guys on masculinity and life. (The Way of the Superior Man is a great guide.) I have to say, this is one of THE MOST VALUABLE videos you have ever done. Simple. Clear. Powerful. And Foundational. Great job sir!

[@sophrosyne5900]

@@psychacks Never listen to a man that's giving a reason for why women end relationships . Lol.

[@FF-vc6ms]

yeah right....this advice will definitely bring you more men into your therapy, as they all would have been broken up by their gf/spouse with this attitude.

[@RobIn-fs8zj]

@@psychacks it’s actually because the woman isn’t really physically attracted the man or the man isn’t masculine. Most women leave because they wanted to be married and once they realize the attraction doesn’t (usually) grow they’re ready to look for an escape route.

[@ryanh9388]

Focus on vetting her instead of focusing on getting her.

[@BetterLoveMovement]

Precisely. Most men don’t even have that many options when it comes to women so they don’t vet them AT ALL!😑

[@ryanh9388]

@@BetterLoveMovement read Orion’s book, read Esther Vilar’s book and just get on with life. Once you realize what they are they’re not that difficult and pretty easy to navigate.

[@Khan-rz8qi]

@@BetterLoveMovementThis is why it’s so important for men to never let themselves go and increase their value over time as much as possible. What she said is correct fellas, most men don’t have that many options, which is why the woman treat them the way they do. In their minds, you’re not that attractive anyway you should be grateful for even breathing the same air as them. As an average dude avoid relationships as much as you can. They’re only worth it when you rise above all means and have full control over how the relationship operates.💯

[@varvarvarvarvarvar]

​@@BetterLoveMovement You'd be surprised how excitingly most women react to being judged and measured if you do it cool and playful. But a guy who thinks he has nothing and is afraid will have no idea.

[@mikokun7714]

I think this is the First Comment in History He Reacted to 😂

[@smokingcrab2290]

Whoever cares the least while also prioritizing themselves has the most power

[@JJ-wi2uw]

and/or the one with the most options.... either real or even perceived.

[@J1M1F]

@@smokingcrab2290 Yes, but with that attitude, often ends up alone.

[@0TheLastLoneWolf]

​@@J1M1F that and also ruining every opportunity that comes her way. Just so she can feel like a winner 🙄

[@Bluesmoke4200]

Yes and caring is inversely proportional to how many other options one has. Dr. Tarraban says commitment is more valuable than sex - no... Some men's commitment is. Mark Zuckerberg'd commitment is extremely valuable, more valuable than any one woman's offer of sex could ever be. The 5'2 bus boy who lives in a rooming house probably couldn't give away commitment from free. Women want commitment very very much but they all ONLY desire it from a very small group of guys. Of course most end up settling for guys outside that pool of desirable men but they do so reluctantly and they certainly aren't going to try hard for it.

[@adrianoss.bougas3720]

Once you have fallen below in the scale is it possible to flip it? She is on her way out…

[@GabeSeamless]

"some fish are not worth getting wet for"... thanks Dr.!

[@tigre9271]

Since when did that ever stop a man from pursuing poon.

[@Xenozillex]

​@@tigre9271 That's the problem tho. Men, from the ugly to chads, are inflating the egos of all of these women. Chads inflate their ego by simply spending time with chicks below their match. And simps are giving their income to OF fans and forfeiting their worth in an ATTEMPT at poon. Just compare it to the job market... What do you think importing desperate people with lower standards does to overall wages that employers are willing to pay? It's the same thing. The classic (Which I personally see in my own search) entry-level jobs asking for experience. It's real. Why? Because we got several people, namely people with no-career specific degrees like a liberal arts degree, inflating the market.

[@MalesAreDemons]

@@GabeSeamlessWhen did fishes ever say they want to be caught?

[@shortykean4071]

Don't chase women. Just be yourself, and chase your goals. I also recommend reading first date playbook: a step by step guide to a great start. It will help you to understand how women think, and you will have some tricks up your sleeve if things don't go as planned.

[@makgeoff]

@@shortykean4071 Absolutely!! Chase your own goals!

[@doomerooy]

@@shortykean4071 yeah guys burry yourselves and stay virgins and focus on fantasies of becoming rich

[@carterscut333]

@@shortykean4071 who’s the book by?

[@ericschmitz03]

another great book is 3% man by corey wayne. he also has a youtube channel and posts regularly

[@Arsen-l3x]

weak men chase woman, strong men chase their dreams, women chase strong men who chase their dreams

[@CoolScreenName]

Patrice was so far ahead of the game he’s being referenced all these years after he passed.

[@Dewane1511]

Man I miss him 😔

[@rachidC3546]

Who is Patrice please ?

[@CoolScreenName]

@@rachidC3546 Patrice O’Neal

[@seanpeavideo]

​@@rachidC3546 you have homework. You'll love him..

[@DaMaster012]

@@rachidC3546 Patrice O'Neal, a comedian who passed away in 2011 at only 41 from tumultuous health issues, but the man knew how to play women like a casino. Look up his bit "a series of holes." I've never seen a crowd of women baited and owned harder in my life.

[@artawhirler]

One time I was fishing from shore when I accidentally slipped and fell in. After I got back out, dripping wet, a friend saw me and said, "You know you're not supposed to go in after them, right?" 😅

[@justworship0570]

One time I was fishing from the shore, when I caught that whore…

[@godwinniiaddy7577]

@@artawhirler 😂😂

[@louhymlabe2734]

New age parable. I love this

[@DannyBoyGhost]

😂😅

[@DannyBoyGhost]

That’s a knee slapper 🤭

[@vanfja]

This video was what I needed. My girlfriend is exactly as you say. I am doing all the work and she doesn’t work for it or care. This video was the final thing I needed to decide to end it!

[@jbdsvld8175]

Good job my brother we rocking with you!

[@wisdomandy9361]

Once you see the game being played on you you'll always see the signs early enough to nip it before it becomes a problem.

[@razzendahcuben]

Yep find a woman who is wild about you even if she's not the most attractive woman you can possibly get.

[@xtalpax902]

@@razzendahcuben just comvonce her to work on herself, like workouts or hobbies

[@jabba0975]

Now watch her wake up and try to hang on/win you back.

[@Yellow_Flannel]

That thumbnail is wild

[@latinaalma1947]

Yeah I dont know any woman who would "sit at the feet of the master" like that...good luck

[@Ratclan]

my girl feed me like this

[@Bookooky]

@@Ratclan As someone who studies psychology, she will have a mental breakdown months from now. She is putting in the effort she wants from you and if you fail to give it she may also get revenge later. Do not play these power games with women.

[@philforrence]

Very wild

[@Scorry]

Oh, c'mon. Woman never asked you something valuable from her knees?

[@DBTwister]

There is a lady I fancied, and I asked her if she wanted to hang out this weekend. She went quiet on Friday and Saturday. I know what this means. You are not her first option. Sunday evening, she sends me a text asking how my weekend was? I said every weekend is awesome and send he photos of us (another lady and I) feeding elephants. She thought I was desperate and would hang around moping for her. She didn't realize there were plenty of other people waiting to take her spot. Now the power has shifted, and she wants in on some of the action. Now she will work hard to become my first option again. Why they make life difficult for themselves, I don't know. It is easy once you figure them out.

[@rayrwyr]

You need to have a woman to get other women.

[@adityaruparel3320]

After that behaviour, she would be automatically disqualified from the running for first option / serious gf category. She belongs in the perma side chick category.

[@navboi12]

​@@rayrwyrakin to needing experience to get a job.

[@ronbridges3933]

She did you a favor by disqualifying herself.

[@systemshock869]

@@adityaruparel3320 most women would be side chick material only if men weren't hopeless simps

[@GregMunro]

A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient

[@TrentReeves-c2k]

There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things

[@GregMunro]

Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white..

[@TrentReeves-c2k]

This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.

[@GregMunro]

You wont regret it

[@haikuoflife]

@@TrentReeves-c2k If you want something that is lasting, people will eventually sniff out games, don't play them. Total honesty/vulnerability is the only way, so one ought to pick a partner that brings that sort of honesty/vulnerability as well. End arguments to understand and not fight just to be labeled as the one who was right. =) =) =)

[@dmzflightmedic]

I am an older Man who has been living life this way since my divorce 3 years ago. I am approached by women, more now, than in my complete lifetime. I am the one breaking it off with women, when they constantly break the ground rules, established at the beginning. I have none of the 6s’ yet women are drawn to me. I have had a beautiful girlfriend, 16 years junior, for the last 14 months (who attracts many men) and she is scared to death of loosing me. I agree with this video as it pertains to my life. What I tell my youngest Son is to use his 20s to build himself up and to not worry about women. Time is on your side. Every year new women become adults and there is always hope that newer generations will be better prospects for relationships. Time is on the side of Men… Not the same for Women. If you are a young Man, please hang in there, life has the potential to improve for you. Thank you for the awesome video.

[@DEEPAKKUMAR-ch6cb]

What's your age right now?

[@dmzflightmedic]

@@DEEPAKKUMAR-ch6cb 61

[@dmzflightmedic]

@@DEEPAKKUMAR-ch6cb Old enough to have successfully raised all my children.

[@garymalone547]

Great advice brother. Looking forward to doing the same since the ex kicked me to the kerb.

[@manifest2203]

Sounds like terrible advice to young m4n to set them up for failure. Is this a strategy old m4n employ to get young women so that younger men won’t compete? 😂

[@josephoduor2358]

Where were you when I was hitting puberty Dr Orion? This is the best long form explanation of "do not chase, attract." Definitely plugging my future children to this channel for early dating advice so they don't make the mistakes I did.

[@HelpMeFindTheseSongs]

I'm in my 30s and The Tom Leykis Show was the original Orion Taraban in the early 2000s. A ton of his old shows are still on KZbin.

[@cheekymonkeygirl3378]

Do you mean your alienated future mixed kids? They will look Filipino! 😂😂😂 Western women won't date you.

[@VineOfConsciousness]

Read the Book No More Mr. Nice Guy… game changer

[@yes3293]

@@VineOfConsciousness I haven't finished that one yet but I remember reading that book was one of the mind opening of helping me realize and stop being "nice guy".

[@mtlicq]

In many (most?) species, it is the males that attract the females. Females go for the one to whom they're attracted; Then the rest is easy for the males. But if she's a dork, let her be a dork to someone else, gladly.

[@ModernDatingMastery]

*When you don’t give everything too easily, it naturally builds respect and intrigue. It’s not about playing hard to get, but about maintaining your own standards and boundaries.*

[@EE12CSVT]

Yes, and when wimmin see that, they run away to find a weak guy with none

[@Nordic1133]

yaaasss princess 💅

[@champion344]

​@@EE12CSVTyeah 😅

[@EE12CSVT]

@@champion344 They certainly do. That's nearly every married guy out there, and most who date.

[@genzo_-sensei5719]

​@@EE12CSVT you said it !

[@ronj9448]

This video recalls the phrase "Everyone needs skin in the game". If you find a potential girlfriend not putting any effort into keeping the relationship growing then don't try to fix it. You've been told enough to make a decision. Walk away. It wasn't going to work out. You just saved yourself time and money.

[@maciejp3499]

That's what I always have been doing since the age of 21. It was God's great gift for me that I understood it so early.

[@redcryptonite]

Shout out to Patrice.... One of the greatest philosophers of our generation. Rest in Power

[@onpoint2292]

I loved Patrice's standup, and his Oppie & Anthony radio show, but I wouldn't encourage following in his footsteps. He knew Game with women. But I don't think it's good for society for men and women to be running around, running game on each other. Especially when men and women are younger, they get significantly affected by the breakups and relationships they go through. More f-boys and manipulative women will ruin the dating market for everyone.

[@msinna6433]

@@onpoint2292 I disagree, I think the problem is what he said on the show multiple times, women don’t understand men because they don’t NEED to. They try to force what they’re selling on us, but we aren’t buying what they’re selling anymore, which is horseshit miserable relationships.

[@olochedaniels]

"The more expensive it is to her, the valuable she perceive it to be and the more she will desire it; all things being equal" Value is directly proportional to keeping it

[@manifest2203]

Or she can put in a fraction of this work towards other more interesting things (career, friendships, casual relationships) and have twice the fun 😂

[@sanich0811]

@@manifest2203 cope

[@Xenozillex]

@@manifest2203 Our society is corrupt and morally bankrupt because of this hedonistic mindset.

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

She has to have genuine burning desire for you. And the only way she is going to have desire for you is if you have value, e.g. good looks (genetic value), good money (resource value), good emotional connection (psychological value), and good lifestyle/frame (social status value). Mate attraction and retention boils down to value.

[@onaolapolawal4952]

Safe to say BioPsychoSocial value...

[@marriagecausesdivorce7540]

@@onaolapolawal4952 BioSocioPsycoFinancial value.

[@Axiomatic75]

Very nice summary, I completely agree

[@cheekymonkeygirl3378]

As a lady, I agree.

[@Khan-rz8qi]

What’s sad is when you realize that most men are not physically attractive so therefore most of them will never receive optimal treatment in their lifetime. Most women are hypergamous, even average women don’t want average dude. Dudes in general need to start spending their money on pros who’ll get the job done instead of constantly chasing and humiliating themselves trying to compromise with women who don’t even find them in the first place. Heck, as an attractive dude that’s the path I’m taking when my wheels fall off and I can’t pull anymore😂 put your pride aside fellas, get your needs met on the low with high quality escorts. You’ll save more money and be more satisfied over time.💯

[@keajd1178]

The fact that Social Secrets Mastery is such a well-kept secret says a lot about why so many struggle with dating-it’s all in the book.

[@ivankezic-zs8ve]

@@keajd1178 thankss

[@KezicIvan]

@@keajd1178 i will find it

[@bocbocigi.-hs5nd]

@@keajd1178 Glad I came across this book, it's a real game-changer

[@Sofus212]

@@keajd1178 from which author?

[@dotdashdotdash]

This is a spammer

[@Jacobdagunner]

This video couldn't have come at a better time. I was giving my best time and effort to her with no effort in return. Time to move on even if I thought she was the one for me.

[@in.edieudonnesworld3167]

in similar situation here. you both need contract. have roles well defined.

[@eraswin]

Same!!!!!

[@noobmeister6652]

quit it she dont like you move on and work on yourself young man.

[@christianrodriguez5346]

If you chase you lose. When you focus on yourself and attract them to you, you win. Only get with women who really want you. Essentially king treatment. If she treats you like that she will fight anyone or anything to keep you. All you got to do is be your best version of yourself. Be alone for a bit to make yourself attractive.

[@Late60sMusicFan]

Excellent advice

[@soichirohonda267]

Nice theory for up 10%. Others....hmmm

[@christianrodriguez5346]

@@soichirohonda267 no excuses you can make yourself attractive. I was a solid 6 and then became an 8.

[@TheAnalyst_]

@@soichirohonda267 just put in the effort bro.

[@SuperBoopeep]

Haha, kinda funny, I always say the man has to pursue the woman. The woman if she has to chase, she will feel less valuable and there always will be a question if she’s just a placeholder for his most desired choice.

[@EriPages]

Correct. Modern culture has tricked women and men into thinking that "Happy Wife Happy Life" was the way for marriage. But that is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what makes a wife and even husband, happy. Marital bliss comes when it is the WIFE trying to make her HUSBAND happy...and the Husband then focuses on his duties/purpose for their marriage. THAT is the correct dynamic.

[@IDONTFOLLOWAMERICANCULTURE]

As a woman this is correct

[@Bookooky]

Why would I want to work for my husband? I literally bleed an organ out every month and still have to go to work and bathe. I am tired and sleepy and so am only interested in sweet boys who are cuddly and make my life easy. Idgaf about a dude who acts disinterested or haughty. I am attractive and broke up with my ex bc he didn't give me enough compliments. Redpill doesn't work and you got sold a lie by old men with attachment issues.

[@baffinsansterre]

LTR will never work with a self centered lazy women.

[@mxrandolph4539]

​@Bookooky, if you are married, your husband got a side piece, so he can deal with your anger and not lose half of his pension.

[@bamboogamingtvsnap]

​@@Bookooky time will tell

[@juggernautmma42]

Once I heard Patrick O’Neill, I said this guy is my guy. Thank you for all that you do.

[@kingchad333]

@@juggernautmma42 The GOAT

[@trafford-v9e]

As I watch this enthralling video, it resurrects the painful memories of my recent breakup a relationship of four years that ended just three months ago. The woman who meant everything to me decided to leave, plunging me into a vortex of heartache. Despite my desperate attempts to reconcile, I find myself trapped in a cycle of frustration and longing, unable to envision a life without her. Despite my efforts to move forward, I find solace in expressing my lingering affection for her here .

[@vivian-i3d]

Releasing your grip on someone you deeply care about can be a formidable challenge. I found myself in a comparable predicament when my 7 year relationship came to an end. I exhausted every avenue to reunite with him, eventually turning to a spiritual advisor for guidance, whose intervention bring us back.

[@trafford-v9e]

How did you discover a spiritual counselor, and what's the procedure for me to get in contact with her?

[@vivian-i3d]

Suzanne Ann Walters is a highly recommended spiritual counselor, specializing in reuniting individuals with their former partners.

[@trafford-v9e]

Thank you for this invaluable information; I've just checked her out online. Very impressive indeed!

[@George-vf7ss]

@@trafford-v9e The quickest way to forget the last one is to find the next one

[@nocturnalnegus]

Crazy how he brings up Patrice O’Neal in this video. I’ve been binge watching his Black Philip episodes on KZbin this week. All his content is still accurate to this day.

[@BPWorthy]

All the things my dad and uncles have taught me. Watching this made me smile.

[@tonyalgar4886]

don't you mean taught me ?

[@MrMultiHerbatnik]

​@@tonyalgar4886they thought but not taught...

[@adil6094]

I guess they didn’t teach you spelling.

[@BPWorthy]

@@adil6094It’s a typo. Why do you care so much?

[@USNavyVet_STG]

Make yourself your number one priority. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Once you start down the path, they'll start jumping into your boat. Rest assured.

[@elonmusknewsnetwork]

Be someone worth getting... not waste your time playing mind games.

[@JerryT.Robinson-kz2rn]

The notion of a flawless marriage or relationship is a myth. There's no set formula for success; what works for one couple may not work for another. Yet, I've discovered that there's always a way forward, even in the most challenging times. Five years ago, my wife and I encountered significant hurdles in our marriage that nearly led to divorce. Despite the adversity, we managed to weather the storm and emerge from it with our bond renewed and revitalised

[@MichelleJOleary]

There is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I can't live without him, I love him so much. wish I can get him back I can do anything to have him back, we have tried therapy amongst other things.

[@JerryT.Robinson-kz2rn]

It's always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is shelly renee white

[@MichelleJOleary]

This is helpful, I will look her up online right now..Thanks.

[@JerryT.Robinson-kz2rn]

You won't regret it

[@r3games1985]

Who was the fool who said there was flawless marriage or relationships?

[@ellimest]

I'm glad he mentioned Patrice O’Neil; he was a sage 🧙🏾‍♂️

[@moustafambazzeh]

By far, the most truthful relationship advisor.

[@georgecook5120]

To any Simps out there, take heed.

[@jordanpenner6970]

Unlikely they will but good comment regardless.

[@hairycanary5912]

"any" simps? ha, 95%+ of us are simps to a degree. and yes, i can and do speak for all of us...

[@KennethClark-d6p]

Things will not change much until simping is incredibly reduced.

[@georgecook5120]

@@hairycanary5912 you do not speak for me.

[@jordanpenner6970]

@@hairycanary5912 nice try attempting to justify your behavior because "95%+ of us are simps" You delusional simp loser

[@joeknight2689]

It makes so much sense. What is easily attained is hardly appreciated. Also, there has to be vested interest on both sides. If interest is not mutual, it doesn’t stand a chance.

[@Rockownz5150]

Most women have no interest in most men. All but the top men are in the much weaker negotiating position, for anything. What good is signalling to women "you're going to have to work to get me to commit", if the all the women will just think "pfft, drop dead, idiot"?

[@schmeed0000]

clear, direct, and brutally honest. this man knows what he's talking about

[@abdulabdullahi3849]

The facts that you used Patrice O'Neil routine tells me he had a big impact on you as well. I'm 39 so I grew up with him and he had a big impact on me as well. R.I.P Patrice. Gone but never forgotten 💔

[@Baumdre]

Honestly, I could not have worded it better. I did the exact same thing and built a loving relationship with a woman who made, and still makes, the effort. This strategy also helps you avoid a lot of toxic people who see themselves as the price.

[@CherBejou]

What kind of efforts a woman had to make tho

[@MontesDawg]

Very clear summation of the vetting process which I have lived by for the the last decade. It has led to the most satisfying relationships I’ve had. The Doc is in top form with this one. Men need to know this regardless of their perceived value.

[@waydeclarke5349]

I always knew you were a man of culture Dr. That Patrice O'Neil reference is iconic.

[@manifest2203]

The guy who went away 3 decades before average life expectancy of m4n?

[@jackstone88]

My mom would always tell me that it's better to deal with the person that wants to deal with you

[@fdavyes]

Bro memtioned Patrice O’Neal! Got to love this guy. He’s different.

[@noname-7992]

Thank you for saying this. Many men throwed women who were fully committed to them because they want to keep fishing, don’t know what they’re looking at, don’t know what they’re losing for.

[@James-x1h9j]

I love the mention of Patrice O'neal

[@manifest2203]

He went away 3 decades before his life expectancy 😂 He was talking so much about women and weight, he didn’t take care of his 🤣

[@sIMODINHO]

What is fascinating with your way of explaining an idea is the metaphorical illustration with a more basic one (The fish & the boat). You are my favorite Psy. Always short and straight to the point !

[@Egsise]

My goal is to be the best version of myself. I regularly exceed my own achievements. I acknowledge that I haven't always been a good husband, father, boyfriend. I'm getting better every day and I very well know there's plenty of fish in the sea. I hope my gf is the one who has similar mindset. I like that some days she lets me catch her, and sometimes she jumps to my boat.

[@bryaneditiontv600]

Love this mindset. Similar thi g here buddy. Still young 23 male

[@jaredbaker1183]

While dating in my 40's after divorce, I stumbled upon this truth. My first wife didn't have to work at all for me. But I learned to lay down rules and boundaries when I was dating. The women that didn't respect that, I turned loose. I just kept having fun dating. I soon became more desirable then I should have been in the singles social circles in my area. And when a woman that was honestly a good fit for me wanted a relationship, I kept turning her down. I was having too much fun dating. She pursued me for almost a year before I finally decided to "try" a committed relationship with her. Eventually I decided she was worth marrying. We're married 4 years now and she takes responsibility for what she does poorly in the relationship. She works hard to change herself. To be a better wife for me. When she crosses lines she shouldn't I tell her and she apologizes. I love her and respect her. Because I made her "work for it" she also loves and respects me. Thanking me for marrying her.

[@Z8terfix]

She sounds like a simp. Low value woman, grateful to have been picked… Pitty her

[@Mattheus217]

I also see this now after I was divorced after more than 18 years. I was too caring, giving, helping, fixing problems, etc. Her life was too easy with tons of free time. She worked way less than when we met. I think besides other things, she had a too easy life each week. More time to complain and be bored, criticize and shame or guilt me. So there seemed to be conflict and “power plays” like she wanted to dominate. She hid that well when we dated. I know I have good value. In this single phase of my life I will focus on growing and improving, and not just giving too freely. Like when you’re a kid, if pay towards a bike, or game, car, whatever, when you put up some value or money you take care of and value your stuff way more than a gift or free item. I also have to thicken my skin, in past when I would put boundaries I experienced the woman cutting me down and using shame, insults, guilt over my rules or requests, to push me to cave. Now if I see that, I have to just say, “bye Felicia” and instead choose a woman who chooses me.

[@ozz961]

@@Mattheus217 18 years divorce ? for fuck sake im almost 26 single and had a breakup on my second longest one which is just 16 months, i honestly not sure what to think if people even breaksup after 18 years. I am just glad i learned to live happily alone without the need of a wife, but this is just tragic,i ll never understand how people can just throw away things like this, barely any value is being show like a significant value.

[@itsnizzi]

RIP Patrice, thank you for bringing him up 🖤

[@idib1739]

That is exactly why traditional gender roles are important for a functioning society. The woman need and has invested enough into the men not leave for nonsensical reasons. But men also need to be true men, protectors and providers to be valued the way they should.

[@cindychelsea784]

@@idib1739 exactly… a lot of men want women to invest in them when they themselves are not that worth something of value ie( providers, protectors and a man of value)

[@user-ze4cx5sn5c]

Patrice was ahead of his time

[@CorinthianIvory]

This is so simple, yet so sagacious. I wish this guy was my dad

[@navboi12]

Lol, for an agreed sum, he can be anything you want.

[@vivianMarvin-z6k]

Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.

[@Adakataba]

It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.

[@vivianMarvin-z6k]

Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?

[@Adakataba]

His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@Adakataba]

he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.

[@vivianMarvin-z6k]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤

[@mohamedmohsin5723]

It's about the ability to make her work for you. Having intrinsic value helps but it's about your actions and mindset mainly.

[@LastEarBender]

This is probably a lot more accurate than I'd like to admit.

[@EseShad0w316]

Having that mindset and vetting her properly is extremely powerful when dating, and ensures you get a high quality woman. Perfect thumbnail btw.

[@ThingsThatIDo]

I had a guy tell me once that as far as females are concerned, "you always pay for it." Referring to the fact that no matter what kind of relationship you have with a female money is coming out of your hands to facilitate it. This has been one of the most true statements I have ever heard. Now I'm focusing on not being upset about it but accepting it and using it to my benefit. If it's going to be a business deal then I'm going to respond differently then I would if it was love which it never truly is with a woman

[@garymalone547]

Never paid for it during my years leaning on the bar with a beer, pool cue and a cigarette. I'm not tall, but they'd just walk right up.

[@manifest2203]

Isn’t that true for women also? All relationships are costly for women.

[@ThingsThatIDo]

@manifest2203 How so? Financially, it always has been more costly for men as far as I can tell. Of course I'm just a human being and I don't know every circumstance that's ever happened

[@modickens1272]

​@@garymalone547we know, they just bent over right there in the bar for you, you didn't even have to buy them a hot dog or beer 🙄

[@Pumpkinboogers]

The guy told you BS and you decided to agree against your better judgment as a human. You failed yourself.

[@justinAclark2075]

This came in perfect time for me. The primary issue (from what I understand) is that my wife and I are currently in a situation where she has much more of a safety net than I do, and I often find I have to highlight my usefulness more than I feel I should have to.

[@mavrk.d]

So glad someone finally refers to the late great Patrice O'Neal. Well of wisdom who uses comedy.

[@onpoint2292]

This matters a lot more outside of the bedroom than inside the bedroom. Women are very mental when it comes to their sexuality. If she doesn't respect you outside of the bedroom, then she subconsciously will feel like she's "giving" you sex: like the marriage is shackling her with having to meet the needs of the husband. To go through life as partners, a lot of reflection and reevaluation is needed. Don't wait until you're years deep into a marriage to have tough conversations with your husband or wife.

[@drmatthewhorkey]

GREAT video... Conceptually it makes so much sense. The hard part for most men (me included, moreso in the past) is to have the emotional and mental discipline to execute this...

[@doom-driveneap4569]

100% true, I stopped suffering over women once I discovered that they just weren’t into me like I was into them. The girls that did want me and put effort I ignored them all, thus my vicious cycle of heartbreak.

[@rulebreaker666]

MAN! You are SAVING MY RELATIONSHIP with a woman I want to be for a looong time. Thanks for your videos, really accurate and to the point.

[@KyleSkyviews]

When you reference Patrice O'Neil you know you're on the pulse of this relationship stuff

[@Moist_yet_Crispy]

This video is pure gold. Can you please talk about creating avenues for women to invest in. How to invite investment and recognize it easily. This makes sense and it's just super new to me and while I'll meditate on these concepts I'd love to hear more about this topic from your perspective. Thank you!

[@marscruz]

Patrice O'Neal left us wayyyyy too soon. He was one of the OG red pill guys. Funny as heck too. Great advice and brilliant insight.

[@Omarr1991]

Patrice o’Neal reference … bravo Dr. Orion bravo 👏 Patrice is the 🐐

[@nextdecember]

This is incredible. I feel like I just discovered why my relationships have failed in the past. You’re great

[@dimplypaprika7693]

I love this guy's analogies. So easy to understand and so appropriate.

[@tristanmoon7]

I don't like much people on KZbin but your channel is really a gold mine of knowledge I will surely buy your book if it talks about intersexual dynamics like you say

[@xvjustvxfps3716]

This was my favorite video of yours so far, probably because I needed to hear it. Thanks for what you do, I'm planning to order the book.

[@Malaikamuskan-v5z]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@yesyes-ew6hl]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

[@chrisbenoit5044]

Yes, Steve_porassss I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@socialworkgroupa5256]

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

[@ejmabrothers6743]

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

[@chrisbenoit5044]

Yes he is Steve_porassss

[@gggmattic]

I really love how you give Patrice the credit he deserves in your videos. I know he’s changed my life and many others but some like to take his ideas without even mentioning him at all

[@cobaltjedi4910]

Shout out to the great Patrice O'Neal - words to live by.

[@stephanie7572]

The only problem with this is it ignores the factor of male competition. While you're making her work for it, another man may be offering the dinners, flowers and romance. On the other hand there is much to be said for the song lyrics, "If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, from my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you..." -Jimmy Soul, on KZbin

[@psychacks]

Don't worry about it. See "romance is for men."

[@EE12CSVT]

Correct, they go for who gives them the best and most experiences, the most time, energy, and attention at the least cost/effort by her. You've got to out simp the other simps.

[@nowhereman7413]

His advice is good for the top 1% men who are very attractive, high status. If you are not in the top 1% making her work for it is just laughable because wymen hate to work.

[@anjunatuna]

A girl can have a dozen dudes actively competing for her in her DMs and she can still go for some random guy that’s just “it” for her. Maybe they have some shared obscure hobby and his smile makes her weak in the knees. The other dudes can try as hard as they want and she’ll still only want that one guy.

[@bryaneditiontv600]

​@@anjunatunathank you

[@stangraff800]

This phenomenon actually applies to most/many things in life. It is part of the human psyche. For instance, when you fix something for someone else, don't fix it quickly....even though you spent 30 years gaining the skills which allow you to fix it in minutes. For most humans, in reality, they would take hours, or days. You did it in minutes. Well, guess what?...The person you fixed it for will NEVER appreciate the job you did for them. You made it look too easy! Do NOT allow the person you are fixing something for to see how you did it. Just let them be amazed when days later you give them back the repaired item. Even though you only took 2 minutes to do the fix, keep it to yourself. QED

[@Pumpkinboogers]

OR.. as Mt late husband said "you are not paying me to fix the problem you are paying me for my experience" then walk away while leaving the bill.

[@soichirohonda267]

Toxic

[@Terrapin47-s8y]

Let me explain it.. you wanna help people to the maximum point where they understand how much they're being helped.. over this threshold, they don't understand anything and can therefore not appreciate.. It takes understanding to appreciate..

[@SebastienMigneault]

Agree. I've rarely worked to get a woman. I did the first move, and let her do the rest. I never get "the one" I prefer, but the one who wants to be with me. Then I am in control in the relationship.

[@TimozkNorena]

The moment I saw the title I knew this was a bombshell, and boom it was awesome

laughing at the idea you picked up on patrice. the mans a legend. was married 20 years and it fell apart. i listened to him for months non stop and he honestly probably saved my life - i no longer let the same concerns rule me and the results show

[@NicoSimonPrincely]

This 100% Does work. A Woman that is not working to keep her husband or BF happy is bored and miserable and will go look for some other man that is more of challenge and that will not kiss her ass, which is why women date assholes that they have constantly try to keep their attention. I have literally had women tell me they had good loyal men into then that would even bring them lunch at work and she said "He's too into me I'm going to break up with him." Trying to make a women happy is futile. They are only happy when they drama to obsess over. You doubt it listen to women's conversation most pf the time they are complaining about something. I told a Ex this and she didn't agree. She was hair dresser. She came back and said "You're right, I was listening to women, co workers & clients at work and you were right." If you don't give them something to complain about or obsess over they get bored. Very often when a man thinks he is in good relationship with peace and stability and then his Wife or GF breaks up with him. They are not like us. Other times they may stay but you''re are just like friends and their is not hot passionate sex they seem to need drama to get turned on. Women can be very draining because of their constant need for drama and a emotional rollercoaster.

[@sammyb1651]

Please be real and clear about what this ACTUALLY means though. In practice. Women who are seeking your investment are a PITA. They are neurotic, constantly requiring progress updates, constantly requiring reassurance, constantly needing to "know where this is going" constantly having tantrums etc etc...ad nauseam. It's good theory (I know from experience)...but the practice is utterly grinding and horrifically time consuming (again, I know from experience).

[@vegito179]

True women can be draining,iam not gonna say all but the few number of ones i have dated they all were,man the constant need for drama nd emotional rollercoaster is very draining, they act like they r livin in a rom com.

[@jamesogden7756]

Their need for drama is directly attributable to their entertainment growing up. Their parents allowed them to fall away from everything that kept society stable for millennia. Their entertainment made dramatic more stimulating than stability, and now the bill is due.

[@HashbrownGokusan]

@@sammyb1651yoooooo thank you for saying this. I think you actually solved something I had been kindve saying but not really saying and I did my damndest with my ex but wore myself out all for nothing. Too long of a story but I knew it couldn’t just be “every” woman. But regardless…it was HER. Thank you, makes it much easier to say this than summing things up to “she was just insecure”.

[@elchucapablas]

So they are like this huh? My ex left me because there was no drama. I refused to give her the emotional roller coaster and she “got bored” gtfo

[@23DanielVincent]

I agree with the principles in this video. However, I've seen instances where women will work hard to secure commitment from a man, and once she got it, she switched up, so men need to be careful, ESPECIALLY if they're going to get married here in the States or in the West, which I do not recommend.

[@Forwardoperationbase]

This channel is a gold mind

[@FlyByNight-pp2xu]

This deserves millions of views !!!! So many gems here

[@ThinkTankEntertainment]

Patrice O’Neal was a legend.💪🏾💪🏾

[@nelsonsantiago1511]

RIP Patrice. Thank you doctor

[@rafaelc9559]

Long long looooong time ago, I stopped chasing women, and it's worked a lot better for the outcomes I want. Great. video.

[@capitalistpig89ful]

A psychologist referencing a bit from the late great Patrice O'Neal, what a time to be alive

[@ibberman]

Finally a video I can relate to. After decades of marriage I am finally ready to end it. Not that I have someone else, she's just never going to work for it. I was young, dumb and 20 years old. I was off to the races with a stunning bride, until I realized my needs did not mean a damn to her. No sex last 10 years , and sparse before that. Made me old and bitter.

[@Yachel25]

Paying homage to Patrice Oneal is gold ‼️‼️‼️

[@baygol_doegh77]

My guy, you are saving my life.

[@kuhniberti]

In the beginning I had her jump back into my boat repeatedly because I honestly didn't believe that we fit together. That impressed me, and indeed she was extremely interested in a long-term relationship. She needed one, being separated for one year with kids one and three years old. But once she had established herself in my house, the unhappiness, ungratefulness and yelling started. She didn't work any longer for the relationship, but expected me to care as much for her kids as for my own son, without reciprocating. After two years I couldn't stand the constant conflicts any longer and moved out together with my son. We still tried to keep the relationship going for the sake of the kids and also because we did have have very good times with each other once the kids were not present. But a couple of days ago I learned from her that she has found someone new. The bottom line is that the fact that a woman does everything to secure a relationship with you and gives you great sex in addition does not mean that you should ignore your gut feelings and the usual red flags. On the contrary, it should raise your suspicion if a woman tries too hard and flat-out ignores your refusal.

[@tigre9271]

The most obvious red flag, which you mentioned was, SHE NEEDED YOU. Never commit to someone who NEEDS you.

[@kuhniberti]

@@tigre9271 being needed is precisely my weak spot. Being wanted is my blind spot.

[@rayrwyr]

She just did a bait-and-switch. You are just a provider.

[@rayrwyr]

@@tigre9271 --- No. Make sure she needs you and she must keep needing you. If she does not need you anymore you are toast. So leave before she leaves you due to not needing you. WANT can change every day. But need does not change often. She should be shit scared of losing you.

[@Joe-gl8sr]

Spot on … same way i see it … he who is on the boat is the prize…

[@kopotakko1985]

No marriage, no relationship... Compatibility and reliability are two important qualities for a lasting marriage...

[@DequanSpencer-xj8nr]

Wow. You just answered a lot of questions that I had about a situation that I’m in right now. Catch and release. Got it

[@Gaming_with_Martin]

Thank you so much psychacks am officially a wise fisherman now 😂😂😂 your content is amazing

[@nigelarchibald7570]

I made that mistake once and will never do it again

[@martyonthebeach]

I love it! It’s the way to see it if you don’t want to turn crazy on dating apps.

[@martyonthebeach]

Don’t chase the fish if she ghost you!

[@hiteshchand]

“A fish jumps back into the boat, wants you to join at the bottom of the sea” .. “don’t let them fool you, fish too knows it’s cold/dark at the bottom of ocean that’s why they jumped back” ….. nothing can be more true. It resonates so deeply with my personal experience. I knew it subconsciously but was not able to frame it correctly, thanks for putting it out there in words.

[@Mogamboli]

This channel has the best video thumbnails. Very stylish and elegant.

[@Someone-ct2ck]

All things being equal, I love this channel.

[@comit135]

I've found that waiting at least 10 minutes to send a text and waiting even longer (1-2 hours) makes women want to talk to me more (unless there is a back and forth conversation happening.) It drives them crazy for me and I'm actually doing less than I used to do.

[@untamedwildhorse]

That only works for anxious preoccupied attachment styles. A secure attachment will see you as playing games and be turned off.

[@TheBadGuy69]

That’s why u gotta always be doing stuff so to not always be readily available

[@comit135]

@@untamedwildhorse that's cope coming from a woman. I've tried the return texts right when you seem them for most of my life and it leads to meaningless conversations that leave both parties unsatisfied. This new texting strategy I am doing, has for the first time in my life, multiple women chasing me and has boosted my confidence. Everyone wants a person of substance and if you return texts instantly 24/7 it clearly indicates you don't have anything going on and are not that person. This part goes both ways.

[@comit135]

@@TheBadGuy69 Exactly, its best to actually be occupied with something but if you don't have anything you should at least make it seem like that.

[@untamedwildhorse]

@@comit135 I have mad respect for men that respond in a timely manner. Men that are genuinely busy and take the time to say, "I'm on Zoom meeting (or court or whatever), is it urgent? If not, May I can you later" That response happens immediately and it shows me that I am a priority and I can count on them no matter what is going on in their lives. We all want partners that we can depend on.

[@Focusembedded]

Years ago I read a book by Tony Robbins that said, "The relationship isn't the place you go to get something, it's the place you go to give something." That was some truly crappy advice, and it's taken me thirty years of dating to realize just how bad it was. If you're not gatekeeping something, you're going to get walked on.

[@vettie]

You don't understand love, and that's ok. Most people don't.

[@Pumpkinboogers]

Tony was correct. The problem is people give to others who do not give. Givers attract takers. Maturity and boundaries vet this out of your life. People pleasers give more thinking the other person will see their value.

[@aniharutyunyan]

Taraban's advice comes from the state of survival, Tony's advice came from the state of self-expression. You decide in which mode they are, and most people are still in survival mode.

[@rayrwyr]

If you want to give, then give unconditionally without expectation of reciprocation. That way you will not get hurt when the taker just takes what you give. Give someone what she deserves and has earned it.

[@michelm306]

Taraban's and Robbins' messages do not exclude each other

[@se78836]

Breaking down Red Pill psychology into family friendly analogies. Clever work Orion