Male Dating & Sex Struggles: A Problem In Plain Sight

[CONTENT WARNING: Use of bigoted language; discussion of addiction, alcohol & substance abuse, self-harm, suicide, sexual assault & rape involving minors]
Pick-up Artists, The Seduction Community, Alpha Males, The Red Pill, Incels, MGTOW, Men's Issues... all that and more! This video will act as a spiritual sequel to my video discussing Male Celebrity Body Transformations and will focus on the pressing questions: What are the difficulties that men face with it comes to dating and sex, what leads to them being plagued by debilitating insecurities, why are the current avenues that address these difficulties riddled with toxicity, and how can we address this problem so we can make a better world for everyone?
A big thanks to the audio expertise of Joe Crow: www.joecrowaudio.com/ (When I recorded the audio and listened back, it was very scratchy, probably due to how I had my mic positioned. Joe helped clean it up and level it and even gave me a very quick turnaround as I wanted to have it ready for editing for the upcoming weekend. I cannot praise his professionalism enough 👍)
Main Channel: / macabrestorytelling
Live-Stream/Gaming Channel: / @macabrelive8266
Patreon: / macabrestorytelling
Twitter: / macabstory
Twitch: / elpapamac
Reddit: / el_macab
[00:00:00] - Intro
[00:06:03] - Chapter I: In (Sort Of, Kind Of) Defense of "Pickup"
[00:15:58] - Chapter II: The World of Dating Is...
[00:33:22] - Chapter III: A Healthy Dose
[00:40:42] - Chapter IV: The Bitter After Taste
[00:47:34] - Chapter V: An Unpleasant Alternative
[00:53:46] - Chapter VI: Papa Mac's Guide to (Ethical) Slaying
[01:10:38] - Chapter VII: Half The Pieces
[01:18:21] - Chapter VIII: A Doomed Quest
[01:29:02] - Chapter IX: A Blank Map
[01:40:54] - Chapter X: In Plain Sight
[01:50:39] - Outro/Patrons
VIDEOS (cited/referenced):
Amanda The Jedi's PUA vid: • Pickup Artists are a P...
Cody Ko's PUA vid: • Pickup artists in the ...
penguinz0's Tik-Tok PUA vid: • Tik Tok Pickup Artists...
Tara Mooknee's PUA vid: • Not all Pickup Artists...
hbomberguy's PUA vid: • Pick Up Artistry: A Me...
T1J's "Negging" vid: • The Truth About Negging
Psych IRL's "Attractiveness" vid: • The Advantage of Being...
Jubilee's Speed Dating vid: • 20 vs 1: Speed Dating ...
Neil Strauss on Jimmy Kimmel: • Neil Strauss Picks Up ...
Jubilee's Incel AMA vid: • I'm An Incel. Ask Me A...
The Fallen State's interview w/ Derrick: • Involuntary Celibate D...
CNN's "Red Pill" vid: • Red Pill: A search for...
ContraPoints' "Men": • Men | ContraPoints
Vegan Gains' Elliot Hulse vid: • Elliot Hulse Women and...
7NEWS' interview with Vili Faulaau and his rapist: • Mary Kay Letourneau - ...
CHANNELS (those which were mentioned but had no particular video referenced):
OmarIsuf: / omarisuf
Athlean-X: / jdcav24
megsquats: / megangallagherlifts
Alan Thrall: / athrall7
dannphann: / rainingfireflies
Be Kind Rewind: / @bkrewind
ARTICLES:
Seduction community study: journals.plos.org/plosone/art...
Vice's "FDS" article: www.vice.com/en/article/akdm4...
MUSIC:
All music by the legendary Kevin MacLeod: / kmmusic
"Hidden Agenda", "There It Is", "Danse Macabre", "Scott’s Job", "Super Circus", "Jingle Bells", "Mr. Mealey’s Mediocre Machine", "Fig Lead Two Times", "Hand Trolley", "Comic Plodding", "Dances and Dames", "Ambler", "Mister Exposition", "Lively Lumpsucker", "Music To Delight", "Five Card Shuffle", "Teller of the Tales", "Just as Soon"

[@blonglor5114]

As a therapist, that was a very well articulated discussion on men’s thoughts, emotions, and lifestyles. As a man, I think and feel that it was a very healthy and honest discussion into being a modern man. Great work!

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️

[@ghourmi]

I agree.

[@fullfatfraser]

I think so too 🤘🏼

[@benia1908]

@@blacklightredlight2945 okay, change the entire perception of the world, I'll wait until you're done

[@mambafake1808]

@@blacklightredlight2945 yeah yeah we know man evil.

[@Entropic_Alloy]

Saying "be confident" to someone with low confidence is like saying, "be happy" to a depressed person. If it were easy, I wouldn't have asked for the advice.

[@asn8744]

It’s right up there with telling an ADHD sufferer to use a planner. Those words are seared into my brain.

[@chimedemon]

@@asn8744 DEAR GOD ALL OF THIS, HOLY SHIT. Every single one of these remarks have been made by someone I care about, and I had to crawl through years of fuck ups and figuring shit out by myself to realize things like “ohhhhh, pointing out the fact that I both long for people in my life and are desperate for genuine connection while ALSO pushing anyone away is probably a bad thing maybe” is only the first step to addressing the clusterfuck that is me. Now I have to figure out techniques to actually keep the few friends I DO have that care about me and not push them away like everyone else. Only recently have I began to actually understand my ADHD (school would’ve been so fucking easy if my parents knew what to do with me) and have only recently been implementing the depression that’s been eating at me since I was in elementary. I’m lucky that I’m barely an adult, because now I can focus the 70 years or 14 hours I got left (what, I could die tomorrow driving to the bank) trying to fix my personal shit.

[@sk00k]

@@asn8744 fuck, do I have ADHD?

[@Chris_t0]

nobody says "be confident" its about trying little things until you are confident. You can become confident, be confident means BECOME confident, how did you miss that?

[@Lamonticus]

@@Chris_t0 You're still proving Entropic Alloy's point and then some. "Be confident" doesn't means "BECOME confident"; no one who hears the phrase "be confident" is going to assume that it means that they have to become confident. The word "be" and "become" have two different meanings that aren't even interchangeable. Not only that "become confident" is still as vague and unhelpful as "be confident". "Oh, yes. You're right I'll just simply push down years of insecurity, depression, and lack of validation and just become confident. It was that simple all along."

[@cdf7923]

My biggest fear is not being rejected, it's ending up with someone who makes me miserable.

[@seashotel]

where’s the video in which we discuss the difficulties in actual relationships? Finding someone and starting a relationship is actually the easy part in all of this

[@glennstewart9907]

With most things being equal, you have a large control of how miserable she makes you. Unless your partner is a malevolent psychopath avatar of Kali who just wants to seduce you for the purpose of destroying you in order to in your ashes.

[@aFoxyFox.]

Aren't you in control of who you "end up with"? If someone is making you miserable, can't you let them know, try to work it out, and then try to find someone else who doesn't?

[@Buster_Piles]

They all make you miserable after a few years bro.

[@Rickyewu]

Dad?

[@TheSuperNarwhalrus]

I'm a woman and one of my close females friends once told me something that blew my mind, most men in their first serious relationship, find themselves in the first position where they can genuinely vent their feelings without judgement and they tend to let it all out which can be overwhelming. I've noticed this to be true with a decent amount of men I've met, and for me it also informs the desperation I see in my single male friends to get into relationships... in our society men are actively discouraged from emotionally expressing themselves, except to their romantic partner. Even with my boyfriend, I'm constantly trying to teach him to express himself, telling him it's okay to set boundaries, or to cry, with me, but also with family and friends he trusts. It can be a lot, but it's made me understand the downright strange behavior of men who feel incapable of getting into a romantic relationship... For some, there is more at stake than just sex... Anyway, great video, thought that was a little relevant!

[@alfredgomez3128]

It's already hard to find just good friends, even harder for decent, available dating. I've learned that women are better than men at listening and sharing intimate details. I also learned that, regardless of gender, average people suck at dishing out advice or handling others emotional burdens; women can be given toxic advice by other women as much as men do for each other. All the while, men are expected to be interesting, not necessarily nice, to get attraction. They put their emotional baggage on the back burner and may be catty if you ever question their shortcomings. I've had male coworkers get defensive about a particular topic, then confide in me their actual worries as they find I don't judge them so harshly...and I'm blunt with speaking my weird traits.

[@aisenpai7056]

What do you think is the right balance of "opening up" to your first serious romantic partner?

[@memegazer]

@@aisenpai7056 There is no easy answer. There is a prevailing view among women of "don't trauma dump" for men...where the sentiment is women are not your therapist but also has a bit of double standards, where if a woman relates trauma to explore intamacy boundaries and get's rejected as a result it is seen as men being insensitive and toxic...but if a man opens up too much it is seen as high maintenance and desperation. My advice would be this...even in a serious relationship do not expect validation from vulnerability. That is not to say don't share vulnerability...just don't expect acceptance from doing so and be open to any possible criticism from doing so...even if you are not that person anymore. You have to realize that being open might trigger issues in your partner that make you incompatible with each other based on each others own personal growth. If a woman does not want to deal with your issues bc you are "trauma dumping" and she does not have anything constructive or supportive to offer, then that is probably a good indication that she came into the relationship with different expectations than you did and that you were willing to be vulnerable is not a reflection on just you such that maybe you should question your own self validation views but also about her level of commitment boundaries. But by the same token if your SO confides in you something about their past that makes you so insecure that you are questioning your own feelings about who they really are...that might mean you had an idealize view about them that you are not willing to compromise when realities come to light, views that might be and internalization of idealized social construct which means you still need to address what really matters on your own terms. There is no shame or failure if that happens...the important thing is to have a true to self sense of boundaries and honesty and to not become bitter and resentful if there is a conflict of those values. Easier said than done I know.

[@memegazer]

@@aisenpai7056 The thing is to remember that nobody, well at least normatively, enters a relationship context by exposing their deepest darkest insecurities with the person they want to court. Nobody leads with presenting all faults on full display like some sort of confessional looking for salvation...and those looking for salvation from a relationship are severely disadvantaged.

[@aisenpai7056]

@@memegazer Thanks a lot for giving such an insightful view of things and I'll take this to heart " do not expect validation from vulnerability"

[@mikek7660]

I'll never forget the moment I confessed to my beautiful massage therapist that I watched anime and she said she did too, and we talked about anime excitedly for the next hour. It was such a relief and really helped me to realize that if I love anime or gaming and a girl I'm interested in is turned off by that, rather than feel ashamed, I should realize we're just not a good match

[@MacabreStorytelling]

a GIRL... who likes... ANIME!?!?!?!?!

[@mikek7660]

@@MacabreStorytelling rofl yeah dude! Full metal alchemist was her favorite and I had just watched it. They do exist lol, a revelation for me at 35yrs old lol

[@midgetwthahacksaw]

@@mikek7660 Yes, yes we do exist and we feel just as nervous telling you we like anime as much as you do. It's always a "hold your breath" moment when discussing interests.

[@EmilyDickmesome]

Lots of young girls like anime. How old was she?

[@mikek7660]

@@EmilyDickmesome early/mid 20's, I was 35 at the time

[@florinivan6907]

The problem with telling a guy who is inexperienced beyond a certain age(somewhere around 18-19) 'be yourself' is that being himself means being alone. An inexperienced guy is himself when he's just himself. He doesn't know at all what being himself with a person he's attracted to means. He's gonna answer 'myself means wearing casual clothes in my room and watching a movie with no one else to talk to'. It most certainly is not to go out on a date.

[@jcivilis533]

I think you misunderstand what "being yourself" means. It doesn't mean undertaking an action like dating or watching a movie but having a unique and flavorful personality. People crave originality in their lives which is why being yourself aka having interests struggles and character is highly valued

[@sirsurnamethefirstofhisnam7986]

@@jcivilis533 I think you misunderstood OP I believe what they meant was if a guy is naturally being himself and is having absolutely no luck with women, just saying “be yourself” is clearly not going to help because he’s already being himself. What people are really saying then is “act natural in a way that appeals to other people, even if that isn’t who you really are”.

[@Vladimyrful]

Spot on.

[@johnwalters5410]

And how many people in relationships have beautiful & whatever it is personalities? They mostly vote Tory & listen to Ed Sheeran. Fuck that.

[@coolfear360]

I love to think of being yourself as a discovery. You’re discovering yourself as you live. I think most guys would do themselves a major favor by pulling out a notebook and just writing down what they like. What they love. Being yourself is nothing more than embracing who you are wholeheartedly. Being genuinely comfortable with your own interests. You like video games? Embrace that. You like golf? Embrace that. You like playing the violin for homeless youth in your spare time? Embrace that. You will always add on to yourself. Your journey (hopefully) isn’t anywhere near being done.

[@raphadolphin]

I was one of the guys from the jubilee video. what people don't know about that shoot is that the girl (tiffany) was asked specifically to choose physical traits for guys. however they didn't put that in the video so it just looks like she has superficial expectations. Kind of shitty from Jubilee because she was just playing by the rules, but they didn't even explain the rules to the audience.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

WOOOOOOOOOOW!!! Sounds about right from the sh*t stain that is Jubilee. Thank you for sharing 👍

[@minimooster7258]

Oof poor woman, that's super shitty of them

[@MacabreStorytelling]

Do you mind if I tweet this at Jubilee? I can cut your name out if you'd like. I want them to answer for this shit, or at least let people know they are stirring the pot (even though that's not all that surprising as others have said)

[@raphadolphin]

@@MacabreStorytelling go for it

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@raphadolphin let’s fuck em up

[@sirdanzig4412]

I'm a licensed therapist who works with adolescents and young adults. The conditioning strategies you offered in the video are very similar to interventions I might assign in therapy to aid in assertiveness training, improve self-esteem, and reduce acute anxiety. And I think your approach for providing assistance to the redpill community also has a lot of merit. Empathy and compassion toward others goes a long way. Thank you for using your experiences to help others.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️❤️❤️

[@STARK0181]

You're absolutely right. The red pill train of thought is completely devoid of empathy, compassion and understanding that warps your perception of people in general.

[@SabatSch95]

It's extremely depressing that professional therapists adopt the same anti-male garbage as presented in this video, but when looking at the APA's guidelines how to treat men & boys it's not at all surprising. Shame on you.

[@clintkarklus5523]

I'm currently in a position where I'm really feeling dejected and frustrated with dating and my prospects with women in general. A very recent rejection has had me internalizing things in a very toxic and angry way. This video is helping me work through that and consider my troubles in a more constructive way. Thanks for putting this out, it really helped my mindset.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤

[@francookie9353]

So how has your thinking changed over the past week?

[@DanteLikesRock]

Rejection is part of the game. Take it as the rule, not the exception.

[@debanikgoswami4834]

@@DanteLikesRock I play the numbers game .That is the only rule.

[@alim.9801]

I hope you're doing alright these days man. It's really easy to get swamped with the dark thoughts, hang in there dude. Rejection really hurts, but eventually you work through it and come out the other side, and you learn about people and about yourself even tho it sucks. Hope you've been taking care man, it's a hard world but you gotta keep some hope and sunshine alive within yourself to get thru it all yknow? 💜

[@JohnSmith-xc2qj]

"We're talking about guys who get heart palpitations about ordering a pizza... over the phone..." I FEEL ATTACKED

[@alizetvargas]

I'm in this picture and I don't like it 😭

[@anonyfamous42]

My mom told me it will get better as I get older. It's worse...

[@anthonyfaiell3263]

Is it not socially acceptable to be aroused at the thought of pizza?

[@suzbone]

@@nathanknight6042 sir this is a Domino's

[@kimmminemwest8850]

@@nathanknight6042 you sound jealous

[@brandonduenow3538]

I remember a couple weeks ago I was complaining to my sister how it felt depressing how much I work to better myself, but how little it seems to help me with dating. All I was going for was maybe a little empathy or a relatable story but I just got lambasted for being an incel. But hey, no one's interested in hearing your problems when it's so much more fun to roast you for being inept

[@MacabreStorytelling]

Doesn’t sound like she is someone who is ready to help you be the person you want to be.

[@uraniki]

I'm sorry for your experience and your sister's response. I admire the efforts you put into self-improvement. It is not a easy task. Keep up the good work!

[@milton7763]

That really sucks! I don’t know your relationship with your sister but maybe tell her how much her remark hurt you. It could well be she felt uncomfortable by your genuine confession and tried to turn it into a joke to deal with her discomfort. If she still can’t come back with anything sensible, well...you’ll know not to expect anything from her on the topic

[@nadineehab8834]

@@milton7763 yep, my brother acts the same way when i try to be genuine with him, he tries to turn it into a joke sense we dont really open up much.

[@nadineehab8834]

@Redrustyhill what a way to generalize women-

[@kev9617]

29:25 damn this happened to me. A girl, really beautiful to me, was being nice and friendly. A friend let me know months later that she was hitting on me and that me not pursuing her meant I turned her down -- I was really into her, I both didn't know that being friendly with a classmate meant you were flirting and took it that I shouldn't be too creepy.

[@Overseer2579]

I know, it can be confusing sometimes. I’m also coming at this as an autistic person (which means I have difficulty with understanding social cues sometimes, though not nearly as much as I used to). But yeah, from my past experience, I’ve now learned that, if someone you like is constantly wanting to be around you, or going out of their way to talk to you no matter what the reason, usually those are pretty strong indicators that they like you, or have grown to like you, more than just a friend. They also will often probably light up like a Christmas tree when they see you coming. Is this a 10/10 guarantee? No, but its all a good rule of thumb, I’d say. But none of it discounts the importance, imo, of asking how she feels, or asking if she’s flirting. You definitely always want to talk about how y’all feel when you’ve developed feelings for someone. I’ve been in your situation, so I’m very sympathetic and so that’s why I said all this. But I’m sure you’ll find a great lady someday, and you’ll learn from your previous encounters and mistakes and do better :)

[@tiyas5378]

Yah it's really confusing. Because friendliness can be either a sign of romantically interest, or a sign of the absence of romanti interest. This might be more of female-specific issue, cause we're socialised to never come on strong, to always let the male take initiative -- cause otherwise we're "too easy" or "a whore" or "un-womanly", whatever any of that even means. It's really fucking silly actually: Women are allowed to develop emotional intelligence and are taught to indirect in communicating romantic interest, but men aren't allowed to develop the same emotional intelligence that would allow them to be perceptive to that kind of indirect communication. So nobody can understand anybody and everything is a fucking mess. Except for queer people, I guess. Why do we as a species go out of our way to invent problems for ourselves? So fucking weird.

[@astk5214]

I don't do love with friends, friends are for live , love 4 years most, 2 weeks usually

[@saraeatsmovies]

Im a girl and this video is really giving me a new perspective. The way you articulated boys’ issues with dating in this video is unlike anything else I’ve seen or read before. My perspective on the issue of men feeling bad and struggling with “getting” women was always that it was super self centered and silly. I always thought “why do you need to be dating someone all the time?” And “am I supposed to feel bad for you? You aren’t entitled to sex” but now I see that there is so much more than just men wanting sex. It’s all a big mess that arises from a very human struggle that I can relate to. I understand seeking too much external validation, having trouble approaching people, and looking for confidence in things that are not in my control. I feel empathy for people struggling with this problem and I hope that they are introduced to this video and others like it so that they don’t veer off into the more toxic and misguided “solutions” out there. Thanks so much

[@vicvic2081]

It sucks.. i rather be dead everyday

[@ssssaa2]

Yeah a lot of guys have had literally no experience of a woman liking them ever despite putting themselves out there. It's legitimately terrible to live as a low value male. Women can't relate because virtually every women gets some attention and has some options socially and for dating. Some guys literally have nothing. NOTHING. PERIOD. That's something almost nobody understands if they aren't in it, because they and everyone they're around is not in that position so it's hard to imagine.

[@TitanTubs]

It's a real hell when you have nothing.. Just trying to better myself and put myself out there.. I can't imagine being on the spectrum, but with my social skills, I feel like I might as well be. Good luck.

[@jaredmello]

@Max Mooney I’ve had that experience too, except with severe social anxiety instead. Wasn’t fun. Supplements for anxiety have really helped me

[@patriciac.2796]

@@ssssaa2 i wouldn't agree with the women can't relate statement. While it's true that most women get some form of attention, when it's only old men sitting at cafés for example, that is simply being objectified and doesn't validate in any way.

[@DwRockett]

Man that ‘play’ in the middle was so good. I do not have a single regret about never taking pick-up artists seriously, but that feeling of a “lack of an alternative” from the people roasting them is pretty real

[@MacabreStorytelling]

👍

[@danix8538]

How about you look at what they say instead of what their opponents say? Especially when they are as dishonest as this clip. Rollo Tomassi is not a PUA but explains pretty clearly the man-woman dynamics. For PUA have a look maybe at Karisma King, James Tusk, Playingwithfire. Or don't. You can stay with the first opinion you heard that you like.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@danix8538 Rollo is pretty shite

[@twincherries6698]

@@MacabreStorytelling the silence you put in that moment ironically said so much. Good stuff

[@georgecampbell9190]

"We're talking about guys who get heart palpitations at the thought of ordering a pizza, over the phone..." Ouch bro. You didn't have to hurt me like that 😭

[@MacabreStorytelling]

Feeling personally attacked

[@monotropa_uniflora]

I could relate so well!

[@joannamyers1268]

I'm not a guy, and I relate to that so much

[@garysuarez9614]

I joined the military to improve my crippling self doubt and lack of self confidence. Believe it or not, it worked. I can't suggest it for everyone, but it definitely promotes growth and forced self awareness.

[@aniekanakai]

That part hit hard.

[@Jordan-ld8ic]

2 years later, this video still holds so many unalienable truths about the unseen struggles of the modern young man. I hope that more people find this and watch this as time goes on

[@arinad3373]

This provides great insights into what men go through. As a woman, finding insights about what men actually deal with, without exaggeration or lies has been very difficult. This feels vulnerable and real. Thank you for the video. I have learnt so much.

[@debanikgoswami4834]

What works for me is to approach a girl and take the risk of getting rejected.

[@1sonicthe]

Alright, but at what point do I show her my Bionicles collection?

[@bleeters5984]

Wait, you mean that isn't something you're meant to introduce yourself with?

[@notthis9586]

I would also like to know this. For purely academic purposes, of course.... *Glances nervously at the 30+ pounds of Bionicles on shelves around the room*

[@MacabreStorytelling]

Preferably during

[@ArchMageDarium]

After marriage. By that point, it doesn't really matter, does it?

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@ArchMageDarium If you don't keep your Bionicle collection in tip top shape, that's a sure path to a nasty divorce

[@stevenguitink5947]

As a teacher, that Chapter 2 hits me in the soul. It's not enough to simply tell someone that what they're doing is wrong or misguided. You need to actually provide them with a proper framework to build from, otherwise they'll just gravitate back towards those that offer them a framework, even if that framework is toxic or downright malicious.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

👍

[@cristopherarturovegacarloz4370]

I listen to this every now and then... It helps a bit every time. I hope you truly understand the importance this video has on every man that watches it. Your work is inspiring. Truly, thank you.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️

[@evanmaldonado9799]

I just finished it, everything said in this video really resonated with me a lot. I definitely needed to watch this.

[@Gui-xg5mi]

I just want to say thank you for the help. I'm a college student and a girl approached me a few weeks ago and talked to me and I wasn't sure what to do, and every time I tried to talk to her I kept psyching myself out. But now that I know I shouldn't be worrying about how the conversation will go, or that I shouldn't worry about achieving anything through the conversation other than talking I was able to finally converse with her. She even said she would like to talk me to again. Thank you.

[@CrossKnights]

"A little awkwardness can be endearing, but we aren't talking about guys who just need a little push to talk to that cute girl at the bar. We're talking about guys that have heart palpitations at the thought of ordering a pizza... over the phone." I haven't gone further into the video yet but this proves that you really get it. I was told for years what I should do in order to be able to relate to people better and it really always came down to people saying "Just go and do it. Talk to people, It's not that hard." People who don't have extreme social anxiety have absolutely no idea how bad it is. They think they do, because they "also get nervous sometimes" but they really don't get that it's being nervous on a completely different, paralyzing level. Things got a lot better for me later in life but I had to work on it for years. Not months, years. Very slowly making myself accustomed to being able to be around other human beings. Slowly getting better at speaking without my thoughts bogging me down. I was also, despite myself, able to make some friends in my youth that I kept into adulthood and that entry-level socialization was helpful. I really do feel for the younger generation that seems even less disconnected from physically meeting people now. I know it would have been harder for me if I was born in 15 years later than I was.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤

[@AMetalOxide]

This. A lot of people really struggle to grasp that social anxiety isn't just feeling a little hesitation, it feels like every possible scenario in which something could go wrong all playing out in your mind simultaneously at the prospect of interacting with someone.

[@Jose-gc8rl]

Funnily, I find it harder to order a pizza over the phone than to approach a batista to order something, not to say that I'm entirely confortable with it though.

[@CrossKnights]

@@Jose-gc8rl Me too! Something about the phone is creepy. You're just lacking so much information about the other person.

[@242nicolas]

@@Jose-gc8rl i think the problem is to reduce the interaction to be purely vocal. After all most of human communication is subconscious body language. Thats why it makes me anxious to talk on the phone, you are in a social interaction will missing 80% of the conversation

[@jimbob929]

I've watched this video probably a half dozen times at this point, coming back to it every 6 months or so. I really can't overstate how meaningful it is to have a piece of media that basically lays out all my issues with how damaging a lack of social acumen can be as a man. It makes me feel heard and seen by someone that doesn't make me want to retch (like some of the colostomy bags mentioned). Thank you.

[@crazycarpguy1074]

I wanted to take a minute to give the most sincere thank you I ever have, and ever will. It's really a shame I can't say this in person, but... you saved me. I was going down this doomed quest without realizing it. I was completely brainwashed by redpill/pickup, had such a bitterness toward women, and as a result had debilitating anxiety, depression, loneliness and anger. I have been seeing a therapist for the last few months which had helped tremendously, but it always felt like something was still missing. This was it. I wish I could somehow say this with more emphasis, but from the absolute bottom of my heart, thank you.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

You saved yourself homes ❤️👍

[@therabbitpants2199]

"Just be yourself" is, at the same time, a bad and a good advice. You have to act naturally to be approachable, but people have to be open for change too.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

A better way to put it we've found is: "Be the best version of yourself" Basically, take a look at your strengths and weaknesses and optimize what you can.

[@pistachiosandpopcorn7146]

It means be your best self.

[@anonyfamous42]

If you try to act like a chad it will just not work and look very awkward. But if you are yourself and like like an awkward nerdy guy, it will also not work.

[@jacknico1891]

@@MacabreStorytelling Min-Max

[@j-69]

@@jacknico1891 gotta optimise your build bro

[@RoastedPheasant]

I once told my sister about the physical, psychological, and sexual abuse I suffered at the hands of a former girlfriend. My sister would later ask me if I was turning into "one of those incel types", after I made a facebook post for unity of male survivors of rape. And people wonder why I didn't come forward sooner.

[@Trynottoblink]

Women and feminists in general can’t be looked to for support for suffering men, sad but true. To them, first and foremost you’re a threat to other women, so even male vulnerability will always be interpreted through that lens.

[@tycko4]

@@Trynottoblink right on the money! Also that the very way femism is framed, it's Inherent to women's issues, thus bigotry and bias from other women seeps in and spoils the commonly accepted outcome. Thus I've come to the conclusion that if you support the concept of equal rights for all humans despite differences. Then you should call yourself a Humanist, as any language that can be connected to any group of humans will inevitably get used a cover for more bigoted agendas and beliefs thus more division is created and less *equal rights for all* is being applied whilst more problematic and bigoted language and points get popularized and made into an unequal/unhealthy/toxic narrative.

[@efleishermedia]

Yupppp. Weirdly I don't mind admitting that I was raped by a woman who i thought was just a horny friend while I was having a seizure. I was honestly just more disgusted and appalled by it than anything, but it fucked with me that she was just going to get away with it without any consequences at all. I told a few of my more feminist type female friends and they were like, "yeah but it's worse for girls cause they're helpless." I was like, "yeahhh, I was having a seizure?" And then they were like, "stfu and let me tell you about my confusion over my sexual orientation. By the way, is your rapist like... also into girls?..." Yup

[@ludvigbergstedt5003]

I usually find that I cannot express in words what I want to say in these situations. But I am sorry that happend to you.

[@xXJLNINJAXx]

I mean, I've never cared for the "survivor" term use in such contexts, but that's kinda fucked up either way.

[@Clickstop24]

This video is SEVERLY underrated in so many ways. I learned so much. Mostly how to articulate why I think hbomb videos can be entertaining but ultimately mid for nuanced discussion. i.e. half his arguments and discussion time of any video seems to be directly related to dunking on someone twitter style

[@MacabreStorytelling]

A caveat I would make it that I think what HBomb accomplished IS important. For a lot of these red pill/PUA guys, it is important to reframe them as less "cool" and more "cringe". This is sort of the first step in getting younger guys out of that headspace. BUT then there comes the time when these needs to be an alternative or they will just gravitate back.

[@alim.9801]

​@@MacabreStorytelling that's a really good conclusion to come to on the topic I think

[@ktleen]

My comment will probably go unnoticed but i want to pour my heart out. The rock bottom story really hit home because i can relate to that feeling of desperation for intimacy and a meaningful relationship. I didn`t have the best family, financially and or else. I dont know my biologic father and the step father that i have is kind of a fuck up and really no male figure in my life that i could look up to. Basically until 20 years i didn`t have any female friends or any other contact with a female romantically. I wasn`t socially inept, i could make a phone call or talk to random strangers without going into a cardiac arrest. But with girls it was whole different story. That changed when a friend asked me if i want to go to this party i said yes and then i was hooked. Not because i immediately blossomed socially like but because of the drugs. I started to do drugs like mdma and weed and that removed some of my social filters. I started talking to girls who themselves were doing drugs and soon enough i joined a social group that had male and female individuals. We went to party every weekend and when i say party i mean hardcore raves that went on for 24+. Because i wanted to feel socially accepted in the group i started doing more and more drugs, you name it: ketamine, speed, cocaine, pills, weed, often combined and this went on for 2 years not because i really wanted to do drug myself to death but because i wanted their validation. I wanted to be one of them. This one girl in the group i got really close with. At first glance we had a lot in common and she seemed like she liked me and that was it, i was "in love". I basically was a simp for her. I did everything just to do what i thought it would please her but she didnt feel the same way altho we stayed really close. I would get really upset whenever she would talk to another guy or didnt give me the attention i wanted. Some time passed and somehow we were about to have sex. I was 22 and still a virgin. In my head i was failure, a fuck up, worthless. I lived with the idea that men should have sex with as many women as possibile or you`re doomed. I put on the condom and i froze. I told her im a virgin and she had a blank reaction. She didnt knew how to comfort me. I didnt even sleeped with her in the same bed. I just went in the living room and stared for hours at the balcony, dissociated and embarassed. After that i feld something changed inside me, she knew my secret, i was paranoid. What if she tells the others? What if this and that? I fell in a hole. I was doing more drugs, party more, sleeped less and whole pletora of bad habbits. I was in a dark place. I was crying for no reason all the time. And i still wanted her validation. The weekend came and so the party. I was at the party for more and 10 hours. Drugged out of my mind and i see her speaking with a guy. Went to the club bathroom, punched the wall until my fists bleed i started to cry. Went to my car where i had a panic attack for an hour. It was a nightmare. My rock bottom. Thats when i realised she didnt matter and i needed help. I felt lonely and miserable. I went to therapy and took the first steps accepting myself for who i am. A man who grew without a father, with 22 years of society telling me i need to man up. To not ever talk about my feelings or what im going throu. I learned a lot from therapy and now im doing much better, altho i still learn what it means to be a man. Thank you for this video

[@MacabreStorytelling]

Thank you homes 👍

[@tigwykplaysgames]

Thank you for being vulnerable with us. I'm glad you found your true self, bud.

[@ktleen]

@@tigwykplaysgames yeah. Im glad too. Since then my life only improved a lot and for the first time in my life i have goals and ambitions and im really optimistic about the future. Sometimes i guess you only need a push on the edge for you to realize your worth. And im glad i went through those times otherwise i wouldn't be the man i am today

[@imnotusingmyrealname4566]

My muscles are twitching and I'm tearing up. This topic is my greatest vulnerability. I experienced none of what you did, I have autism and my social life was very low. Even though I know you were in a place of hurt I would still want what you had simply because it's an experience. The only time in life where I didn't wish I had the life of someone else was while I was hospitalized in psychiatry. It was the best time of my life. Sadly all the progress that was made there has been lost.

[@valerierodriguez8561]

My dad is 56, and still struggles with showing any kind of love, or emotion, other than anger to myself, and siblings. I hated him for a long time, but after giving birth to a son of my own, I realized he was brought up in a pretty toxic environment. I was scared to bring my son around him, but I'm so glad I did. He was loving, affectionate, and told me he wanted better for him. Regardless of how I feel about him, I'm really glad my son has him in his life. Knowing he's growing up around people who love, and validate my son, makes me happy. I know it's a little off-topic, but I'm all in my feels right now

[@MacabreStorytelling]

Same with my dad. While I held a lot of resentment upon learning he grew up with basically no support structure, while obviously it didn’t mend every wound, it helped me put my experience into context by empathizing. It may not fix everything but I think it is an important step. You sounds like you made a brave step for everyone involved ❤️

[@valerierodriguez8561]

@@MacabreStorytelling It was hard to make those first steps, but I'm happy I did. It was hard to forgive my dad for how badly he fucked me up, but for me personally, I couldn't go on feeling angry all the time. I went through men, and partied like crazy, just did whatever I could to get some sort of validation from men. When I finally met my now husband, it took a lot for me to feel worthy of him. It's insane how societal views of masculinity, and basically forcing men to deal with their own emotions, really fucks with not just the person, but the people in the person's life. I don't know if that made any sense, but your vid just brought up a lot of feelings I had buried. Not a bad thing

[@alexdamba7905]

@@valerierodriguez8561 Im sorry if im sounding insensitive but by your dad only showing anger towards you and your siblings wouldn't that warrant you cutting him out of your life and making she he gets no contact with your son? Thats abusive behavior and sure he loves him now when he's a cute little baby but couldn't he atill be a threat to your son?

[@valerierodriguez8561]

@@alexdamba7905 I guess it depends on the person, but after becoming a mom, and maturing, I find myself willing to give people second chances, and forgive. The way I see it, holding on to anger, and resentment only hurts you in the long run. My son is going on 8, and my dad still shows him love, and hasn't shown any of his toxic traits towards him, or any of us. If he does, believe me, I'll cut him out of our lives completely, and never want him around again.

[@benjones621]

My dad was never abusive and worked so much when I was young I didn't see him as much as I'd like. Watching him with my son now that he works less shows me what he really wanted to do but was focused on providing for his family. I love him more now.

[@MegaRafaelloco]

“Beautiful women gain their power at 13.” *Chris Hansen appears*

[@johnbuscher]

*FBI bursts through the door*

[@ireallyhatemakingupnamesfo1758]

*matt geatz has joined the chat*

[@fishin4bass2002]

I think to be fair your taking him out of context. He’s saying women hit puberty at that age which is when they grow into a woman and begin to develop sexually. He isn’t saying to hook up with 13 year olds just thats when they start developing.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@fishin4bass2002 I understand that is what he means... but that’s... still... odd. Especially coming from a channel dedicated to trying to teach guys how to get better with women no?

[@asdfghjklim5662]

@@fishin4bass2002 okay but why specify the START of PUBERTY as opposed to the start of adulthood which is when our brains fully develop our frontal cortex into making life long decisions which is 22-24? Why SPECIFICALLY an age of a middle school child who SHOULDN'T take part in the dating world

[@edk487]

17:10 was so accurate these big reaction channels will dismiss and call all the strategies discussed by PUA as misogynistic bullshit and then offer up the most milquetoast dating advice ever and say the job is done

[@JorgeLopez-jd8ds]

Bruh. It's been years. But I am back, with a girlfriend with a strong social network. And it is incredible to me how much this video helped me

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️💪

[@fullmetaltheorist]

If she hates my Bakugan collection she has got to go.

[@markwill3515]

Lmaaaooooo 😅😅😅😅😅!!!!

[@candersson60]

You go King, hold your head high

[@milton7763]

That’s exactly the wrong attitude: if she hates your Bakugan collection but can accept that’s your thing as long as you don’t need to tell her about it for hours on end, that’s a girl to go for. She’s your girlfriend not your friend

[@plamondonworks6948]

Absolutely fair

[@mikek9297]

@@milton7763 If she's not your friend, she's not your girlfriend.

[@supergoodname778]

"Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter" The only pickup line you'll ever need

[@MacabreStorytelling]

based

[@erievhs]

Hail to caesar

[@josephnjenga7179]

Ave,true to Caesar

[@rtm224]

"You take a sip from your trusty Vault 13 canteen"

[@sirsurnamethefirstofhisnam7986]

“I hate sand, it’s rough, it’s coarse and irritating, and it gets everywhere” this line bagged anakin a princess

[@nanthilrodriguez]

I was single my entire life until nearly 30, and in my bleak desperation and lonliness forced myself into the most uncomfortable situations to "get out of my comfort zone". I got incredibly lucky to wind up with the right woman, but holy fuck were there some near misses in hindsight. I really wish I was aware of how the entire culture has been completely oblivious to men's social issues before I went through all that. It wasn't until I was smack dab in the middle of existential despair that I was even made aware of this subject, but back then it was just bitching and whining and insincere pick up game artists. I skipped all that and still wound up with a wonderful woman in my life, and if my near mistakes are any indicator, most guys are not so lucky. This message needs to get out, before it's too late for some of us.

[@DanteLikesRock]

Dude... I'm glad you found yourself a woman and luck was in your favour, but if I just take 1 look at you I can already see why you didn't have that much luck with women. Is that a neckbeard..? Bro.......

[@astk5214]

How? Be precise please 🙏 no one ever says how, not in real life not online

[@psychedelicartistry]

This video was amazing. I'm not an incel but I was going down a dark path b/c of the things you described I was being bitter and jaded and this video helped me articulate why I felt the way I did!! Thanks!

[@psychedelicartistry]

Somehting else that's crazy I'm also 5'10" 225 lb LOL.

[@StodgyAyatollah]

Approaching women to determine if they are someone you would like instead of getting them to like you is probably the best advice. It's been my approach for quite a few years now and I've learned I don't like people. Now I have zero interest in relationships and live a much happier life.

[@nikobitan7294]

I think most men have already decided they "like", i.e. want to have sex with any woman that's hot enough or even just willing. Men don't concern themselves much with what the woman gets out of the arrangement, hence anger at women not wanting to "give them" sex and demands for simple step-by-step guides to unlocking sex. Women simply have no interest in playing the role of their sex doll.

[@seacrest73]

We women would like this too! Please be pickier 😖. I go on an app and get inundated with likes and messages. It's like you guys click like on every profile. It just makes it seem like you guys are insincere.

[@bromance3496]

@@seacrest73 exactly

[@PalashaGabarra]

@@nikobitan7294 Here's the other side of that coin. What makes you think you're entitled to being loved and cherished to the point that a guy would sacrifice his life for you or whatever? It always has to be the man's fault, no matter what. People like you always insist that the woman must be the victim in any scenario regardless of circumstances. If nobody wants you for anything but your vag, then it's your fault because that is clearly all you have to offer. How's that sound? Take your toxic hatred and go be miserable somewhere. It's not my fault. Whatever it is that's wrong with you, I don't have shit to do with it.

[@3eve0n]

@@nikobitan7294 shut up misandrist

[@ProgShell]

That “who was the boss” interview was bone chilling. It was almost cartoonish. I’m glad the interviewer seemed to be as bewildered as I was.

[@eeeguba432]

Nothing like dodging accountability. "Its not pedophilia if the immature person that cant consent pursued the "Relationship" Sure

[@undeadblizzard]

Yeah being myself but let say I am in importing and exporting. I also do a lot of Cooking but not food.

[@johniewalker4356]

Being a man probably played a part. If the interviewer was a woman odds are she would agree with the rapist. Few women acknowledge male victimhood.

[@hannah-6080]

It’s heartbreaking and disgusting.

[@custardavenger]

Definitely. It's not a case I was aware of but in that piece of video it was so obvious its almost scary. I was glad the interviewer seemed to know what was going on.

[@Alias_Anybody]

I personally have a different issue. It's not like I can't talk to or have a connection with women, I'm just unable to be seen as a romantic option. It's not "being friendzoned" (which implies active rejection), it's the simple fact that I seem to be incapable of communicating any interest beyond friendship in an elegant, neither cringy nor creepy way, causing me not to try in the first place. There's also the issue that giving good advice is very hard because random people simply don't know my personality or culture to a degree they can make a productive analysis.

[@coffeeking9565]

Your correct that advice is hard to give over the internet. Personally, I found asking people in rl this question shines some light on the issue. Me personally am a gay dude and find it hard to really communicate with guys, so I asked my girl and guy friends for some input on how I act. It helped a bit :)

[@natalieharmon4207]

I don't know why you'd have difficulty....I mean, as a woman, if I am with a guy, and *I* want something more than just a friend, *I* can make it known (no, I am not talking those BS "hints..I mean straight up having a conversation about it), and it is then up to him to either agree to that, or say nah..I'm good just being friends.... COMMUNICATION....clear communication...people don't *talk* about in depth things, sadly... :-(

[@Theo-vn9hm]

@@natalieharmon4207 If I read it correctly though, the issue of Alias, as is mine, is that he acts and talks in such a way that makes it so women never even think of him as a romantic or sexual person.

[@Euphoryaaa]

Self sabotage on a subconscious level

[@kupeart3746]

I have the same problem, so I solved it by being overly clear and not "making the hints", its freaking exhausting and scary, and mostly leads to awkward moments - but even when I get rejected women appreciate the courage to just straight on ask. who knows, maybe there are some women attracted to you who are also afraid to ask you out. but its hard man, I still struggle with that too and I wish I was completely capable of having a sex life but I don't - its still like finding an oasis in the desert for me.

[@AoiLucine]

As an Autistic lady, this stuff is actually pretty useful for me too. Like, the needing to know what the limits are in conversation, what's okay or not in social situations... I had to learn this analytically instead of grasping it intuitively. I've also read pretty harrowing stuff about how men are emotionally isolated due to how society has framed masculinity, and how women have had to create emotional armor to ward off creeps who don't 'take the hint' or could possibly hurt them, as noted by trans individuals who were raised as girls and put on that armor themselves, and know why it's there. I guess in the end we're all trying to figure this shit out. Please be kind to yourselves, everyone.

[@CenterSargE]

Once again I am reminded of that tumblr post. It's fucking golden.

[@imnotusingmyrealname4566]

@@CenterSargE Which Tumblr post?

[@imnotusingmyrealname4566]

Thank you for this comment. It made me understand autism and how it makes me different from other people more. This analytical nature is so tormenting to me. When I realized more about it during diagnosis it caused so much mental anguish in me. The thought of most people having different brain structures that work completely differently is frightening and impossible to know what it's like. Is this video by any chance also one of the hardest acts of emotional and cognitive labor to you or is it just me? I'm probably THE demographic this video is about so this is a lot to unpack and process, too much in fact for the scope of a KZbin video and more for psychotherapy.

[@CenterSargE]

@@imnotusingmyrealname4566 Trans man understanding the points of view of both men and women.

[@thecynicalcinephile8211]

This is one of the most sensical cultural analyses I've ever seen.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️

[@SGT676]

Wow a video about men's issue that doesn't go as "Women have it worse so shut up" or "Just stop being depressed or insecure" good job sir commenting for the algorithm to do it's thing

[@mikek9297]

A surprisingly lucid take on the issue. Haven't seen anything like that since Cassie Jaye's "Red Pill"

[@thefabulousoogabooga6410]

Tara Moo person didn't give in depth advice like this youtuber (bc that is not really her content), But she also showed a lot of empathy to those seeking pick up advice. She even said the whole "women have it worse so shut up thing.." is not productive and men's issues are valid. The title of her video is literally starts with "not all pickup artists are bad"

[@dumbartonyankee]

As a mother to teenage sons, I really appreciate this.

[@DanteLikesRock]

Be my mom.

[@kitbradley2689]

This description of pick-up artists makes the process feel similar to a cult. A charismatic leader targets emotionally unfulfilled people, offering love and help to improve their lives, but when inside the cultist finds that their leader is manipulating them for ego and profit to keep members in control.

[@realsgtstupid]

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck is actually a pretty solid book tbh

[@MacabreStorytelling]

👍

[@theirishpotato6588]

Yee

[@ant7891]

What did you get from it?

[@ExLas09]

@@ant7891 I have read it some time ago. There are nice ideas most people already know on some level, but packaged together so it helps reaffirm them and put them in context of each other. Also there is some fluff and bs here and there no self help book is immune from that I guess. But the anecdotes and the way they are used are abhorrent. Most anecdotes are only partially true and facts are adjusted to confirm the points the author is making. I guess it engages the average reader, but I found it manipulative where instead of giving a solid argument of statistics for his view, the author appeals to emotions with an exciting "real" life example. The whole book actually has a bit of a "written by a dating coach" sleazy vibe. But despite that i found it a quick and easy read that helps further internalize good ideas even if you don't remember everything the book says in the long run. I recommend.

[@ant7891]

@@ExLas09 ah, I've already read it too. I was just curious what others thought. And your thoughts on it line up pretty much exactly with mine, though I didn't get any sense of sleazyness from the book.

[@Centuries_of_Nope]

Clearly modern woman just don't understand the cultural complexities of Beyblade or the deeper nuances of Scooby Doo Cyber Chase.

[@Eris_Norregard]

I'm sorry, did you just say Beyblade AND Scooby Doo in one sentence?! Screw this, I never wanted to be a modern woman anyway. :D

[@Introvertsan]

🤣😂

[@V4Now]

A man after my own heart😢

[@mafiaseargent]

But everyone knows the best Scooby Doo movie was Scooby Doo on Zombie Island. It had that killer chase song "Cuz it's terroooooor time again!"

[@robertcunningham1695]

Damn cyber chase that shit takes me back

[@TheTrueTriceror]

The doomed quest part hits me. When you said you wished you could just not care, I saw myself as lucky. I have autism, and after just another rejection I managed to just make myself not care. I am still a virgin at 23 with no relationship experience at all, yest I do not care. I managed to cut myself off from those feelings and I am still happy with myself. I wish I could make other men feel like me, just accepting yourself and not caring if you have sex or not.

[@fod1235]

It's good to want sex though, of course not being obsessed by it but having a libido is a sign of good health

[@shanefoster2132]

Just to add on, I think a more correct term for your attitude would be ambivalence. You still care and thus pursue relationships in some capacity but are not devastated by rejections or even the possibility that it may not happen. You are ambivalent. At least that's the feeling I have and you seem to have a similar attitude.

[@TheTrueTriceror]

@@shanefoster2132 Oh, I seem to not be clear. I do not pursue a relationship at this point. If one happens to come my way, great. But I am not actively looking, as I do not really care.

[@shanefoster2132]

@@TheTrueTriceror true, nice clarification. I still think ambivalence is appropriate considering you're not outright rejecting a relationship or whatever... I feel that my dude, if it happens it happens. And if it doesn't it doesn't. Meanwhile you're content and not looking to see if anything sticks. I think I'm picking up what you're putting down.

[@TheTrueTriceror]

@@shanefoster2132 yeah, that's it. Although I would call it indifference instead of ambivalence. I know they are basically synonyms, but I like arguing semantics.

[@elliottalderson1059]

This was a perfect video on this type of topic, I grew up pretty undesirable to women & throughout high school I was seen as this boring, fat, & short ugly kid without many clothes, after high school i started playing persona 5 & I started implementing the games sense of routine, I had a decent job, I had money to go on a diet, I bought some clothes that made me look more presentable, I lost more than 100 pounds a little over a year and I became insanely handsome to women… it was such a strange feeling because I stopped desiring women as much because I never got the validation I wanted anyways. But to be told all of a sudden all these good qualities like I’m charming, funny, smart, and most shocking is “handsome”, sent me into a pit of self isolation and weirdness around dating because the validation I used to want became so hollow, then trying to do casual sex just didn’t work for me at all lolol, luckily I have a wonderful girlfriend now whose known me since for 6 years before while I was “undesirable” & she always liked me, I was just too shy to do anything about it. But good luck to you and all the other guys here struggling with dating/validation. You guys deserve the best ❤️

[@ihaveterriblerolls9531]

When you started talking about wishing the desires for sex, romance and human connection would just go away and wishing you could be happy with what I had I and just move on to other things, legitimately burst into tears because it felt like for the first time having someone truly understand my thoughts and feelings around this subject and actually giving proper advice as to how to help and get better. Every single word in this video is something I've needed and practically begged to hear for years. Thank you so much.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️❤️❤️

[@Mad_Intalect]

@@MacabreStorytelling Man, your intro described my high school, college/early adulthood experience to a T. Even the part about laughing about it with your sister, used to do it with mine as well. Wow, thought I was alone out here. I was also too ashamed to ever talk about it, this is actually the first time I'm mentioning it anywhere.

[@milton7763]

I’m very surprised to read so many people state they thought they were alone in this. A good step in learning to deal with this: realize that 80% of people felt like this during at least some part of their adolescence. As the Bell curve goes, there are some for whom it lasts their entire adolescence (🙋‍♂️), fewer for whom it lasts into college years, and then inevitably you have a tail end of people for whom it lasts beyond that. I’m saying this as a deeply depressed person throughout my adolescence, who learnt to let go in college and didn’t have his first girlfriend until the age of 28 (and she’s now my wife and we have a wonderful son). You are the furthest away from being alone. But truly, the only ones that can truly help you are you yourself and time.

[@suzbone]

@@milton7763 and a good therapist is key too

[@monus782]

Mood

[@hana-chan420]

The point you made about introverted people perceiving others as being perfect social butterflies way above their level despite the possibility that they too may be feeling lonely, was like a bucket of ice cold water. My thought process has been so narrow when it comes to talking to strangers since i have social anxiety, and it leads me to not want to try approaching others who I believe to be "better than me". What does a socially awkward person look like anyway? Or a depressed person? Anyone can feel isolated and invisible. It's difficult to understand that you are not the only person who feels these things when you're so deep into the dark corners of your mind, but hearing someone else day it so loud and clearly is very refreshing.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤

[@BitchChill]

Weeb

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@BitchChill bitch, chill

[@copiumforthepeople]

you had 69 likes, but I just couldn‘t resist giving you another one

[@lintang790]

"not wanting to try approach people that looks better than me" Yeah I relate so much. I think it got to do with my low self-esteem or something.

[@prismoid00]

Let's not forget the crown jewel of dating advice for men from cynical feminist spaces: Just be a good person. Surely this won't feed into any insecurities at all and make people think their autism and lack of social development is some morally reprehensible quality

[@greyfox4838]

I wouldn't say it comes from cynical feminist spaces, instead it's actually pretty ubiquitous. Many women casually give advice like "I don't care about looks, just have a good personality." Which while this cliche is often times depicted as a positive hurrah for men, in truth it just makes men hate themselves even more if they get rejected ("am I a bad person? is my personality shit? am I boring or unlovable?") when in reality the reason was probably you just weren't her type and that's ok. Even superficial women like that Jubilee girl will never admit "I go for good looking guys," they will always claim to be horny for personality, but as you saw in that Jubilee video, those dudes had great personalities and they all got rejected for arbitrary reasons.

[@prismoid00]

@@greyfox4838 you're right it is pretty ubiquitous but it does sting when it comes from other feminists and leftists because of the bootstraps nature of it

[@supervamp78]

Being autistic does not mean you don't understand how not to be weird??

[@prismoid00]

@@supervamp78 you have to be on a whole other level of delusion if you think autism has no bearing on whether or not people perceive you as weird

[@MillionaireHoyOriginal]

Bravo 👏👏👏 this was very well done and one of the only videos of its kind. Thanks for your honest take on this subject.

[@elasolovey986]

I highly respect you for the last part of the video. I'm not even a man but I do think the way society treats male sexual assault survives is just the worst. Not to forget that the way society taught boys to bottle up their feelings. Being in therapy for 1 year now I know this will lead to depression sooner or later and you will use unhealthy coping strategies like drugs, sex or food addiction to deal with the amount of inner stress. For everyone of you who has dealt with any kind of abuse: trauma can't be measured in a way of who has it worse. Keep in mind that you are be seen, your wounds and your trauma is valid and you have every reason to feel sad or angry about it. No other person has the right to downplay your abuse.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️❤️❤️

[@Inshibevisangue]

I've been struggling with some of the comments here. I appreciate this one. Thank you. Let's carry the flag.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@thotslayer9914 sure do 👍

[@elasolovey986]

@@thotslayer9914 I have but I'm not that good in speaking, because it's not my native language.

[@elasolovey986]

@@thotslayer9914 You can message my E-Mail if you want.

[@timmancillas8326]

I’ve been seeing more content with positive messages for men lately. It’s a good sign.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

👍

[@timmancillas8326]

Keep up the good work. This is perhaps the best video I’ve seen on the subject matter.

[@ulirichert7691]

It's a good sign to have any content on that topic. The bad thing is, it's very likely that you only found it because of the KZbin algorithem. The people that need to be taught some understanding of this, will never see this video or related content.

[@connorbeaton8375]

I really think that we need to empower both men and women to enjoy who they are. Spaces for both groups are important. (:

[@ImortalZeus13]

@@connorbeaton8375 People don't need "spaces" they need self respect and some discipline.

[@jacksonlarson6099]

How on Earth have I missed this video for a whole year? This is positively brilliant, and I wish it had ten times as many views. I've been waiting for a genuine, heartfelt, balanced examination of this issue for years.

[@matushka__]

All I'll say. For all the guys still who haven't gotten into a relationship and are watching this video right now. Beers on me when this is over.

[@debanikgoswami4834]

I used to be an incel. I think incels should put some effort and socialize more often specially with girls. This will help them not being awkward with them(It took me almost 1.5 year to reduce my awkwardness). Also they should take the risk of getting rejected (without this they can't escape inceldom).

[@kolonarulez5222]

As a mid 20s woman I truly appreciate the effort and honesty in this video. I've also never felt better about giving up completely on the dating scene. How awful for both sides.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

It can be rough but have faith! If it’s something you really want there are ways to make it happen 👌

[@Jose_Doe]

Damn sucks it came to that but understandablr

[@coiledsteel8344]

Feminism unleashed True Female Nature in ALL of it's Hypergamous ways.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@coiledsteel8344 take your pills grandpa

[@idminister]

@@MacabreStorytelling "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked" for men AND women and any other, the sexual revolution (second sexual revolution) had major gains in destroying the cultural-societal restraints upon people following their heart (wicked) over duty to civilization and future generations. Considering the timing of 2nd revolution (post WW2), it may well have been pushed from behind the scenes by communists as a way to weaken the west, which by the way are the nations most influenced by it today.

[@LinusVinnportlaced]

The last part of this video had disgusted me inside and out. I'm pregnant with my first little boy, and I'd break that woman's jaw if she did that to him. Men and especially young boy's trauma from sexual abuse should taken seriously. There's too many cases of teacher's abusing their male students, and they get a slap on the wrist because the abuser "made a mistake, and need help."

[@MacabreStorytelling]

👍

[@chickenpasta7359]

i suffer from extreme depression and anxiety and while i dont think dating someone will fix my problems, i feel like it magnifies my worthlessness as a whole

[@dijonjohn1011]

Part of the issue that I have with the dating world right now, is how dishonest people are about it. It seems like people are unwilling to acknowledge just how toxic dating apps truly are, especially for males. It seems like men are becoming more understanding of the issues that women face when dating, but when it comes to be more understand of the issues that men face, the average person just laughs. This double standard seems to be reflected in a bunch of different gender related issues. It is like because we are moving forward with treating women fairly, it means that we must ignore men's issues, or even regress when it comes to men's issues.

[@hannah-6080]

Yess. I feel this so hard no one wants to talk about how some women can genuinely be extremely demanding and toxic towards men. I am a lesbian and me and my girlfriend often watch 90 Day Fiancé, and we see these straight couples where the woman is constantly on the offensive. “This apartment is bad, why didn’t you think of xyz when you picked it out? Why did you choose this wedding venue? Why didn’t you think of this or that?” Constantly criticizing and overreacting to every thing. Or leaving him to make big decisions that affect them both, and expecting him to read her mind about what she prefers, then getting angry and questioning his masculinity when he doesn’t measure up. It just baffles me because I see my girlfriend as my partner, when we make decisions we talk to each other, give each other the benefit of the doubt, and work out something we both like. If she does something that I don’t like it’s not the end of the world, and I know she meant well and we can talk about anything that’s bothering me. We are equals, best friends, partners. To see how so many straight women cannot view their relationships this way is just baffling to me. They just have a checklist of what they need their man to do, and expect him to ace the test every time, and if he falls slightly short it’s the end of the world. Huh? Not saying all women do this but it just seems to be such a prevalent attitude. Traditional gender roles make both men and women treat each other like … well…. A set of expectations. Rather than a human being. And unfortunately feminism has done a poor job so far of addressing that, instead women have gotten more of a free pass to be even more demanding and cruel, and feel like a girlboss for it.

[@dijonjohn1011]

@@hannah-6080 Yeah. I am no dime by any means, but I deal with girls who are less attractive than me by basically every metric imaginable, and they treat me extremely toxically. The few girls who were out of my league that I met through these apps, were borderline abusive with their expectations/demands. Thankfully not every girl is like this by any means, but the ones on dating apps tend to be the worst when it comes to this shit. The level of entitlement and lack of self awareness with some of these girls, is really hard to believe. The way some of our main stream media has become about it being okay/good that women are being mean to men, probably isn't helping things much either :/ Our whole country is focused on justifying their side's bad behavior, by pointing the finger at the other side.

[@blissfulinsomniac5711]

@hannah-6080 Basing anything you believe off of a reality show is your first problem, lol. Reality shows aren't actually reality. First wave feminism empowered women and has has little to do with the idea of feminism that exists today. We're dealing with a new generation of entitled people raised by a previous generation of people who didn't know what they were doing.

[@od3910]

I love that we're finally having emotional and nuanced discussions about male issues. Young men especially have been shafted in proper discussions and education. We ignore them and make fun of them. Thank you for actually looking at this and hopefully helping people in the future. You've already helped me look at my own beliefs.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤

[@ferrisbueller9991]

'The Future is Female'

[@ganhis]

@Redrustyhill I gave a read to Tao Te Ching a few years back, each turn of a page was an effort to avoid puking. Traditional eastern philosophy is misogynistic to the maximum extent. Yet again, we cannot judge a book of a different time with today's values. Now we know better.

[@JohnJohnson-fr5cx]

@@ganhis I wish everyone that commented on YT sounded like you 💕 Honestly, that was so eloquent it was beautiful.

[@PalashaGabarra]

@@ganhis Traditional, conservative values are not a result of hatred for women. They can be very insightful and grounded in reality. The problem is you're looking at it through a modern progressive lens. The concept of "equality" is bullshit. You would probably be happier if you tried letting a man that you perceive as masculine take the lead. You've been led to believe that embracing your natural role as a woman makes you inferior or lesser, which is ironically closer to misogyny than what the other side believes. 50/50 equal partnerships are not natural or wholesome, and to be honest, they don't exist. I've never known a couple that managed to achieve true equality. Every couple that claims to be an equal partnership is actually just female dominant.

[@ianbowden2524]

"Calling a guy a virgin is an insult" ahhhaa raised Christian. Hearing this sounds like a compliment. Dodging them sins left n right.

[@coffeemug1012]

Virgin

[@ianbowden2524]

@@coffeemug1012 thx

[@Zero-tk1hb]

My man here dodging sins like he is Neo.

[@redactedcanceledcensored6890]

my alpha sensors just went off charts bro

[@VikingBadass94]

dab on those sinners XD

[@Icekin23]

"It seems that many men are starved of validation for, in some cases, their entire upbringing. So when they step out into the world, they do so with a hole in their sense of self, leaving them incapable of reaching that equilibrium. Like driving with a leaking gas tank on an endless road. And no matter how much validation they acquire, it'll never be enough." This resonates a lot harder than I would like it to.

[@karlfranzemperorofmandefil5547]

Imagine getting validation... Non jokes asides. The biggest problem is self worth, if you don't get validation in those crucial times of your life you end up feeling worthless and unworthy of love and attention for the rest of your life. During my upbringing i never received any kind of acknowledgement and validation from my father whom I looked up to. Nothing i did was good enough and my basic natural behaviors were always treated like titanic character flaws. My hobbies were stupid and i never got any support with my personal goals because i didn't live the life he wanted to live for him. That ended with crippling self doubt and basically no value on my own time and we'll being. I always feel like I'm wasting people's time when they spend time with me (even if i know rationally that's what they want to do ) and i can't approach people i meet outside of dating apps regarding any romantic intentions because i don't want to ruin their day and waste their time ( this includes when being told by their friend that they want me to do that, because i can't get over the thought that they are just saying that to mess with their friend or me)

[@yultimona]

I've watched this about three times now. Partially because it does strike a chord with me, but mainly because the way you handled this discussion is so well done and expertly presented that every time I'm reminded of this video, I feel obligated to take two hours out of my day to watch it one more time.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️

[@apricot8301]

Chapter 2 is really the heart of the issue. No one wants to give young men advice on thier issues. They want them to just "figure it out". Then complain when guys go to these "misogynistic" communities for help.

[@amenra6042]

That is what blocks the masculine polarity. The nature of the polarities is that the masculine celebrates the feminine, and the feminine helps the masculine know himself. The union of mind and heart. Usually the healed feminine wants commitment and intimacy because she embodies just that- love. The masculine wants to be able to celebrate the feminine for doing so, so he helps to know himself by taking action, learning from receptivity. When we tell men to “figure it out” we say to them “you don’t know yourself, and we’re not going to accept you until you do”. They fail to realize that the masculine cannot know himself if he doesn’t interact. Saying “you don’t have to have it figured out, open up when you’re ready” sends the message that it is safe to be vulnerable while not knowing thyself, which is often what the feminine does- express before thinking afterwards. The two polarities can heal each other if one is able to be the catalyst for healing. A side bit; how to heal the feminine? The opposite. Before expressing, know what you want and know yourself better to not receive junk. The healed masculine is open in decisive action, and the healed feminine is filtered in receptivity. Since humans have masculine and feminine characteristics (such as the motor and receptor functions in the brain, or the right and left brains, etc) we can also heal this within ourselves. If a man just goes to any women without thinking, he should heal his inner feminine.

[@dogman5791]

@@amenra6042 lol shut up

[@amenra6042]

@@dogman5791 I’m sorry your sausage fingers can’t press “read more”

[@dogman5791]

@@amenra6042 ummmm, making fun of overweight people? so much for the masculine knowing himself, he should heal his inner feminine, amen.

[@amenra6042]

@@dogman5791 I was pointing out your lack of acceptance of other peoples’ point of view, hence you trying to shut someone up. The wounded masculine closes off and you seem to project that onto me. Sorry, but I can’t fix you for you. Until you learn to actually listen you will remain narrow minded. And I do know myself, enough that I am able to point out red flags in others. Being overweight is one, and refusing to actually read something is another. If you can’t handle it, perhaps you should figure out why it triggers you.

[@Jason87241]

I wish more people could see this video, especially teen boys. I’ve never seen someone speak so candidly and clearly about the issues facing young men in terms of forming relationships but every day it’s becoming more and more important to acknowledge and fight this problem. Great video, liked and subscribed.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

I appreciate it my man. Hope all is well!

[@shanez1215]

I wish I could bring this video back in time and show my 13 year old self.

[@ova9thouson445]

man me too

[@danix8538]

If you haven't seen people speak more articulately about this subject look up Rollo Tomassi which this coward put up an image of but didn't have the guts to name. Have a scroll through his videos or blog and compare what he talks about with your life. And then with the tepid stuff Smarmy storytelling put up. See which ones line up better with reality.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@danix8538 oof triggered. I’m having a call in Q&A on Saturday. Want to call in and discuss this, that is unless you are too much of a coward to do so...

[@PCP1992]

I think it's even deeper than this. The way that society is set up also leads many men to seek sex as a relief. To seek sex as a gateway to connection and feeling which they are completely deprived of in normal life. The ones who no longer find video games powerful enough to distract them have no other choice. I know for me one it's a frequent fantasy just to lie my head on a girl's lap and have my hair stroked. I don't know any other way to feel relaxed and breathe easy. Meditation etc. can only do so much. Many single men are touch-starved, emotionally starved, starved of connection... and relief through drugs and alcohol is not as strong as through sex. At least through sex, you can practice a skill-set in wooing a girl, and there is nothing more powerful than that feeling of victory or glory when successfully taking a girl home. It's no wonder men get hooked on it when they are so depraved of other things in life, being absent of an integrated community, being told they're not needed, and keeping their heads down for the most part to work on themselves, their bodies and their careers, in a futile attempt to be loved. It's the only thing powerful enough to have men ditch their friends and hobbies in pursuit of it, because the friends and hobbies could not cover the emotional pain/emptiness to a great enough extent.

[@astrolonim2032]

I’m a college student who has huge struggles dating (2/3 confidence and 1/3 on the spectrum). This is a brilliantly articulated and supremely helpful video. Thank you.

[@debanikgoswami4834]

Thanks to PUA, my nerdy friends got surprised How I have become so confident with girls 😂.

[@tjbarke6086]

Literally more comfortable ordering pizza in person than over the phone. Don't know why...

[@MacabreStorytelling]

👍

[@PkMnNeWb]

So there are other people like me out there?? I always walk to my local pizza place. The bigger problem is that I always walk over to the hairdresser and have to hope that they have time for me in the immediate future.

[@Redskull1411]

I thing is that little pause between the ringing and the talk, it's kinda disorienting when you need to talk in a random cue....

[@littlewyzard]

fr talking on the phone gives me so much anxiety for some reason? i’m working on it though :/

[@milton7763]

Really? I’ve never heard about this. I’d figure the anonymity of ordering over the phone offers a much ‘safer’ barrier. Any of you can tell me what it is you find makes the phone call so hard?

[@ernyae8928]

you can clearly see that this is a massive issue in dire need of being addressed just by looking at the amount of comments saying that this is really one of the first pieces of media that most guys have seen take an honest, nuanced take on the societal expectations and issues that men face on an almost every day basis. great job on the video man, the comment section being so full of support gives me hope that we can keep on having these sorts of discussions.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️

[@zoidberg444]

The manosphere have been talking about this for years but we got smeared, shouted down or shadow banned.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@zoidberg444 cuz it got co opted by clowns and grifters

[@zoidberg444]

@@MacabreStorytelling Well there might be a few grifters like a lot of the PUA's who flock around the likes of Rollo but fundamentally they were right. PUA didn't work for me but the rational male is a good place to start for any man who realises he has been lied to whether you are PUA, MGTOW (like me) or Incel they were all spitting true facts about female nature the intellectual disagreements were minor but quite vitriolic. Sounds to me like you are some kind of astroturf like "contrapoints"sent into try and co-opt men who come looking for answers with the same discredited left wing ideology.

[@blacklightredlight2945]

It's because boys clubs tend to get tribal really fast. They invite misogynists into the community to train men to dehumanize women for their own pleasure and it starts collapsing around them. MGTOW started as a movement of men doing their own thing, but it turned tribal and toxic because they didn't keep out the people that see women as subhuman and evil. They start with good intentions, but if you let one nazi into your bar, you will eventually become a nazi bar.

[@barstow_]

Damn 1:40:00 that bit about people being turned off by the topic was very true for me. I purposely ignored this video in my recommendations for a while out of fear that it would just be patronizing and even supporting some of the toxic pick up artist rhetoric. I hated the idea of thinking of people as objects. I’m so glad I finally watched it. Great video man and very insightful.

[@fileboy2002]

My only problem with all this is that plenty of men who are not socially awkward, men who have relationships with women all the time, are, nonetheless, extremely misogynistic. They look down on women, trash talk women, treat women badly. This undercuts the idea that being able to get into a relationship will necessarily lessen men’s misogyny.

[@benjaminrei1319]

i think that a lot of the misogyny is enabled and fueled by the issues that are discussed in the video, such as the lack of communication and support and guidance that men have and the increasing loneliness of our society. likewise, combatting these issues will definitely lessen the frequency and severity of misogyny

[@tiyas5378]

If the only socio-cultural perspective a man has ever been exposed to denigrates and dehumanises women and everything deemed "feminine", there's a good chance he's gonna end up a misogynist regardless of what his personal experience with women is. What you'll often see with men like this is that they'll treat the actual women in their lives pretty normally. They'll think of them as complete, full-fledged people, be alive to the richness of their internal lives, etc. All other women, however, will be met with extreme misogyny. Basically, they buy into the socio-cultural perspective on a conceptual level, and every woman by default represents this "concept". Until she is close enough to them that her personhood anf their human connection with her are an undeniable reality. Then she has "proven" her worth.

[@fileboy2002]

@@tiyas5378 That's an excellent point. I've also noticed misogynistic men will occasionally express affection for their mothers, their sisters, their female cousins. In other words, for women they aren't interested in having sex with. It seems like a lot of this is bound up with feelings of sexual entitlement. When the woman in question is not an object of the misogynist's sexual desire, he can see her humanity more easily.

[@manderly33]

And tbh there are plenty of women out there who are happy to be “pick me” types and/or just enable toxic masculinity. They may not even be aware they’re doing it.

[@user-vp6cq4sv3d]

@@fileboy2002 Why are they in relationships with women all the time if they're misogynistic? Edit: A Nazi doesn't get Jewish friends for example.

[@youm345]

In certain places, asking for the time is a strat to get someone's phone out to steal it/ get someone to fiddle with their purse so they can be knocked down and stolen from. So if you ask a lady for the time and she gives you a death stare and keeps moving, don't take it personally

[@MacabreStorytelling]

Noted lol

[@luchan1638]

The end truly disturbed me.... She is absolutely out of her mind .... Terrifying. Blaming him, manipulating him. As a European, I have never heard this story. It truly shocked me...especially how the media portrays cases like this.

[@Kaddywompous]

What got me was the fact that he was right: I didn’t remember his name but her name is branded in my memory. His trauma was diminished and forgotten.

[@blacklightredlight2945]

@@Kaddywompous Yeah, it's an unfortunate byproduct of women being seen as lesser than men, by default they're also the victim because they're the "weaker" group.

[@Ashtasticle94]

That's women for you

[@nathangehman7018]

The 3 pieces of advice I have seen time and time again are: 1. Be confident 2. Be yourself 3. Stop looking for a relationship, focus on yourself, and love will find you And its like 1. Fuck you, this is about as useful as saying "just produce happy chemicals" 2. I've been myself for the past 10 years and I haven't gotten a single date let alone a real or healthy relationship 3. This one bugs me the most because, if I stop looking, its not like I'm going to wake up next to someone I love one day. If I stop looking, that means I'm stopping putting energy into dating and if I stop putting energy into dating then I'm never going to approach anyone or ask them out even if I have already made a great connection with them and they are clearly interested.

[@debanikgoswami4834]

Meet women with similar interest. Ask out the one gives you lot of attention.

[@nathangehman7018]

@@debanikgoswami4834 Lol if I'm asking out only the women that give me attention I'm gonna die having only experience living single

[@the1stmetalhead]

@@nathangehman7018 I think he means the women who's reciprocating your advances. You hit a woman; see how she reacts. If she seems interested as in, she flirts back. You ask her out. And if she is not interested you leave her and move on to the next woman. That doesn't mean you need to completely cut her off from your life. But rather don't give her any extra attention. If she is not interested or has rejected you, treat her like you would one of your homies.

[@nathangehman7018]

@@the1stmetalhead In theory, this is relatively sound advice. The issue is I don't do well with picking up on social queues. I have no idea how to flirt without being creepy. On the few occasions where I thought someone was flirting with me and I tried to reciprocate, I would then ask her out and find out I was reading things wrong. This has happened on multiple occasions. Meeting women is difficult for me and it usually takes a while after meeting someone for me to feel comfortable around them, more so with women. And now that I'm out of college, it's infinitely harder to meet people and actually get to know them, and start to feel comfortable around them. I'm just tired of not having any experience, and not having any understanding of how to navigate dating. It feels like it just compounds and that the further in life I get without any experience, the more of a disadvantage I will be at. Every attempt I make gets me nowhere. It feels like nobody is willing to give me a chance. And when they are willing to give me a chance, there seems to be some kind of divine chastity belt making sure nothing works out. It's just extremely frustrating having put in real effort only to get cock-blocked by one of my friends leading her on even though he was already in a relationship (which she didn't know about) and had no intention of actually dating her.

[@jaronspecht2778]

That was the greatest video I've ever seen discussing what I go through as a man. I'm completely stunned. It feels like this video was made for me. I thought I was alone in that feeling of isolation, having nobody to talk to and desperately trying to get a girlfriend because I'm 28 and feel so much pressure having zero dating and romantic experience. I feel a lot better after watching this. Thank you.

[@evanmaldonado9799]

22 and I can def relate here, thank you for sharing this king, I believe in you though👑

[@UATHD]

When you said about physically not being able to cry I felt that. Recently I turned 20 and I just couldn't cry for the life of me. No matter how much I did. Few tears shed out but you can't actually cry for more than 10 secs. I wish I could cry again.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤

[@K4113B4113]

I experienced that too. Probably because I hated crying as a kid. I always felt so weak. Then eventually I just couldn't cry. I don't remember how I got over it though. Maybe it was watching the movie 'Warrior'. Honestly. Crying is cathartic. Just don't force it or overthink it.

[@UATHD]

@@K4113B4113 I experienced it in my first heartbreak. I was told that she was not attracted to me after a year of being together. I wanted to cry so bad. But yeah that day I realized that I can't cry anymore

[@timonpasslick]

Talking about emotions to a good friend can help. At least it helped me. I can cry normally since then.

[@Kurayamiblack]

I cried for the first time in 10 years just the other day. But I was daydreaming about some kinda messed up stuff and got caught up in the drama super hard. I oddly felt more human afterward though, almost like I needed to cry for a long time but never knew it.

[@UKcrispergirl]

This is some intense honesty I wasnt ready for. Kudos, man. Mad respect.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️

[@logy650]

Those last twenty minutes or so really hit home. *S O C I E T Y* sure has a lot of problems to deal with.

[@Georg3e]

Yasss

[@IntrusiveThot420]

@@MacabreStorytelling wow, I was kinda nervous to start watching this because I figured it'd be the usual red / blackpill bullshit. A+ so far though I'm only like 10 minutes in.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@IntrusiveThot420 It gets worse...

[@mirocastillo1715]

FD Signifier brought me to this video, and I'm so glad to have watched this... it's easy to go around and say "red pill bad", "PUA bad" "incel bad" without taking enough time to realize that these things are signs of a bigger issue. Great, great video.

[@danielsurvivor1372]

He kinda did say "ncel bad" 😢. He was so good faith to red pill, but not to blackpill. Also I'm shocked Signifier recommended this video, he's such a bad faith Breadtuber, thought he'd recommend someone worse

[@wizardninja2430]

As a young guy who almost fell down the incel bs rabbit hole, this video is a masterpiece and invaluable. Thank you so much for making this.

[@nagateja7618]

This made me tear up. The nuance and kindness you have shown in this vid is the most I have seen anyone do. Which makes me think if you have made as an advise to younger self. Thanks Macabre! Thanks for this.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️

[@thehighprophetoftruth7493]

This is mostly me just talking about my trauma because I feel like I need to say what I went through. When I was in 11th grade My English teacher bullied me to the point of suicide. She would degrade me in front of other students, insult my work. I even found out she was grading my answers differently than other children. My mom pulled me out of that school. I was barely getting any attention at home because my mom was dealing with my dying grandfather, and my dad was busy with his job. We found out that I was Autistic. Through years of therapy have helped, I still struggle socially. my biggest issue with what I currently face is there are no programs to help me find friends or healthy relationships. I often had to figure that out myself. Any groups that I went to were made up of other autistic kids that were farther along the spectrum than me, and two adults. There were no other kids there that could normal. That was the biggest issue, a lack of no controlled reactions. This only compounded the issues I was facing at the time. I had no one who was socially functional in my social circle When I entered college I uncovered the fact I was molested as a child. It was a traumatic memory. I was 5. I was held down and could not breathe while my abuser attacked me. I was luck that it was at a house party, and my mother came in looking for me. she knew what was happening and we immediately left. I am at peace with that trauma now. I will never be at peace with how I was treated as a male survived. I went to a support group on campus and was the only Guy there. I felt so uncomfortable with the way they were looking at me, that when it came time for me to talk I just could not form words, so I ran out. no one came after me. I remember seeing some of those girls around campus and the weird looks that gave me there was no compassion in their eyes. My mother died of cancer when I was 23. She had it for most of my childhood. After her funeral, my sister told me how our mother made her promise to help me find a partner. My sister proudly told me she was not going to help me at all. she also told me how I should never talk about my abuse because some women had it worse. I have a visceral memory of when I was crying out in agony on the floor I look up to see her expressionless face staring down at me telling me how I need to shut up because I am scaring the dogs. I've almost fallen down the dark alt-right misogynist before. I had to recognize them for what the were, paths that only led to hate, and not to any form of peace or contentment. I physically can't cry no matter how hard I try. it made all the sadness worse. All the advice I been given makes me realize one thing. Advice is the lowest form of help. if it is even helping. No one was there to help get me in social situations where I could succeed, and make healthy connections. No one was there to hold my hand in overwhelming situations, I was just thrown into the fire. but how people told me how I just had to get out there, yet never told me where or sat down to help me find a place. As I've gotten older I have realized we do not just need sexual education at schools, but also emotional and relationship education. Classes that teach people what healthy coping strategies are, and how to empathize, and help others. How to navigate dating and have healthy standards, and what healthy relationships look like. In addition, we need groups that can help survivors of abuse, non-neurotypical people, and people who struggle socially; find healthy and meaningful friendships and romantic relationships. Setting these systems up would help out those who struggle so much.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

Hope you are doing well 💓💓💓

[@nilo5747]

That all must have been so awful. I hope you're in a much better place now, and I hope one day you'll find someone who you can feel comfortable sharing what happened to you. You deserve better, and I wish you the best of luck in the future.

[@maxwellsdemon6599]

This was a hard read, I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been to live it. You survived and the fact that you are here is something you can be proud of. I hope you are doing well and wish you all the best, from the bottom of my heart ❤️

[@V4Andy]

I'm so sorry you've had to walk such a difficult journey alone. It might not be much but I'm wishing you genuine love and happiness brother.

[@dysxSRJEY]

Hope you're doing better fren, we're all gonna make it

[@sk8ersteve]

When you talked about physically not being able to “feel” your emotions, I’ve never resonated with something so much. Fortunately I’ve gotten significantly better over the course of the past year.

[@SuperCraft1999]

About half a year ago I had my own revelation and have since started bettering myself. I can now proudly say that I'm content with my life. Before I had fallen into the rabbit hole of self loathing and depression because of my lack of succes in dating. This video puts a lot of what I've struggled with for years into words. Had I seen this earlier I could've saved myself a lot of trouble. I hope more people see this and can jumpstart their own journey or promote a healthier conversation about male dating/emotional struggles.

[@kade3788]

Clicked by accident and watched all the way through. You snapped with this one, chief. Over the past year and a half I’v been dealing with trying to navigate the trauma of my last relationship all alone. The woman in the clip at the end hit close to home. I can’t explain how refreshing it was to have my experience validated by this video. You are incredibly well spoken when speaking on these nuanced topics and I can’t thank you enough for all your efforts in creating this. This comment section speaks for itself, you’ve done a fantastic job here sir.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️❤️❤️ comment made my day. Thank you sir and I hope you are doing well.

[@neltins5308]

This is the problem with feminism, men would literally have none of the problems with women, sex, dating, and many other problems millennial & gen z men have in life not related to women at all like not having strong social networks, support systems & groups to socially uplift or bond with other men. If they weren't convinced to abandon their masculinity & power, while pedestaling and empowering women to be masculine & dominant as much as they can both in the education system, workplace, social groups... Ignorantly not realizing no matter what the opposite sex tells them, what society tells them to be, women are most attracted to a masculine superior man who takes charge, this is the man she will listen to, submit to subconsciously, respect more & not give bullshit or cheating hyper gamy whatever the fuck you call cheating shit to. Telling all men to be as good as possible and kind, decent, gentle or whatever BS while simultaneously telling young girls they can never do wrong, excusing all their behavior & telling them they're princesses, queens, deserve everything for doing nothing is bound to end in disaster. God knows I'm not raising my son to feed into feministic women first bs.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@neltins5308 you really spent a lot of time to type out a heaping pile of tiddlywinks my dood

[@neltins5308]

​@@MacabreStorytelling holy, I actually watched the video and this is mind blowing real ****, its rare to see the truth being told in such an unbiased manner on the internet, and i've never heard someone talk about some of this at all, brilliant video. I agree a lot with Chapter II, and it can keep guys in sort of loop hole following useless guidelines that don't apply to them, or the girl they're interested in. I think since all of us young people are a lot more used to the internet we have lost the social skills & emotional intelligence past generations naturally had from having more of their fun in person, we also don't know for sure how things actually are due to all the noise on the internet.

[@tylermacdonald8924]

This video really needs to go viral, christ

[@MacabreStorytelling]

130k ain't too shabby 😎 preciate it my man

[@siahsargus2013]

I’mma watch it twice, bump up the number

[@MacabreStorytelling]

@@siahsargus2013 💓

[@garethpayne1458]

This was probably the best video essay i've ever seen (even better than contrapoints). You've earned yourself a subscriber. I really like your nuanced take on this whole topic. As a young guy who watches too much breadtube/lefty content and is also very unsure of how to approach dating and women it always rubbed me the wrong way to see left wing creators dunk on the redpill types and the manosphere without really offering a viable alternative. I always agreed that they were misogynist asshats who hated women, but it always felt like the left had yet to address the problems they were speaking to. I always felt like they just didn't want to admit that the redpill types were right about certain things. Being short makes dating harder, being rich makes dating easier, etc. The advice from the feminists/leftists was that women didn't care about any of that, and the only thing you needed to be successful while dating was be yourself. Its always struck me as utopian and out of touch with reality. I expected misogynists and right-wingers to have this bootstrap mindset that broader social issues don't matter and that individuals should just do their best and never consider or discuss broader societal problems, but hearing feminist or leftists use the same bootstrap rhetoric when it comes to men really stung, especially when they recognize this with other issues and groups. The "just be yourself and act confident, bro" advice so often comes from a position of privilege. Many people giving that advice have never been in the position young men are in today, where we have to initiate, read body language (which vary from person to person), and intuitively know what the other person is thinking. Since I'm also relatively familiar with feminists circles, I know how they put an intense focus on expressed verbal consent with regards to nearly any action in dating. This is largely good, but doesn't always line up to reality. Some women want to be asked before being kissed, others think it ruins the mood. I internalized this feminist idea, and so I asked if it was ok to hold a girls hand, and ended up getting mocked and laughed at by that girl. I still think its the right move to ask if its ok to do something to someone else's body, but I felt like I was lied to and the Redpill folks were the only people who understood that and were willing to meet me in reality. People WILL sometimes act weird if you ask, and for some people, asking does put them in a negative mood. I just wish we on the left could be more honest about this kind of thing instead of lying to young men and giving them false expectation of the world that make them more susceptible to falling down the rabbit hole. This video really resonated with me. Thank you so much for discussing men's issues in a thought provoking way that isn't just dunking on the other side and honestly addresses some of the problems men face.

[@jashannnnnnnn]

amazing insights

[@jakedavies999]

Damn this is a good comment

[@reallyman7131]

Have you watched chadvice from Hasan?

[@thesurvivorssanctuary6561]

I think it's very telling that the woman laughed at you asking to hold her hand. I'm at 1:11:50 , and this is where he talks about empathizing with this girl's position when she asks: "Is it okay if we don't have sex?" It's devastating Mme to put two and two together, and personally, I don't care if it's a turn off or whatever; I'm *ALWAYS* asking for consent early in a relationship! Our sexualities are in constant flux, and a person can be conditioned to not only expect abusive behavior; but also to enjoy it! Not asking for consent can easily put a woman in a position where she feels compelled to give in, because she feels vulnerable. This is a common thing, and sometimes people associate this vulnerability with "sexiness", because people who care to check in with other's feelings, are a rare breed. Worse yet, those who take advantage, also do everything to control the narrative and what's acceptable to even think about. Which means that people who've only dated dickheads will expect that all guys have to behave like dickheads!

[@magpie_monster]

this is such a good video, with genuinely good dating advice. I'm a woman but I also suffer from anxiety, over-thinking, heart palpitations at the thought of speaking to strangers, etc etc. In some ways I'm happy I'm not a guy, because there's more room for me to be inexperienced. It's not a mark against my "womanhood," necessarily.

[@DanteLikesRock]

you sound like my type of girl haha. Shy and a bit nerdy.

[@crimsoncross8823]

Always is good to see dudes talking about dude problems in a more healthy way. Aba and Preach are also two youtubers who speak about similar issues

[@jc_illustrates_]

Vaush too! It's more political but still

[@ajiththomas2465]

@@jc_illustrates_ True. His videos on Advice for Incels and his video about Socializing After The Pandemic were pretty great.

[@jc_illustrates_]

@@ajiththomas2465 agreeeee

[@MacabreStorytelling]

I truly appreciated Vaush's take on the incel issue.

[@ajiththomas2465]

@@MacabreStorytelling Yeah, his take was pretty great, especially with how empathetic he was to the loneliness and alienation that Incels felt while also drawing the line and pointing out at how cringey the misogynistic beliefs of Incels are. Rather than condemnation, it felt like a friendly, concerned, understanding and stern talk from a big brother like figure. That's what I would say is the main appeal of Vaush's Incels videos. Also, I liked your Male Body Transformations video and I found a trilogy of videos by a KZbinr named Salari about the male/female body standards which were pretty great as well. If you got 80 minutes to spare, check out "Talent Belongs To The Beautiful", "Female Objectification in Media" and "The Beauty Double Standard Between Men & Women". They're a pretty great trilogy of videos about the beauty standard and how it relates to different things.

[@hecateinanna3925]

This is exactly what I wrote my thesis on when I got a degree in gender studies in 2014. I can't tell you how many people were callous and dismissive of the entire topic. This was pre incels, early days of the MRA. And I was like "there's genuine feelings that people are experiencing here and I want to explore them." but the entire idea was always laughed at, even by my professors. I got a B+ 😂

[@456MrPeople]

Gender studies can be used for good. It’s not all just extreme feminism.

[@hecateinanna3925]

@@456MrPeople I mean... I got a degree in it.... I know

[@SikGamer70]

@@hecateinanna3925 When I think of Gender Studies, the first thought that comes to my mind is a group of mostly women being radicalized by radical feminist professors. I hope I'm wrong because that just sounds immoral. Universities/colleges are supposed to be a place where all ideas are explored and given the tools to do so, not a place for brainwashing. How much does this line up with your experience studying gender studies?

[@potaterjim]

@@SikGamer70 the idea that "universities are brainwashing people with far-left ideologies" is just a conspiracy theory. Universities ARE places where all ideas are explored. And as a natural consequence, people are discovering the merit in the otherwise heavily censored left-wing politics that have been hidden from them throughout life. I mean think about it, it would be like thinking "all these people going to school for radioactive materials keep trying to warn us about radiation. Are they being brainwashed by big-solar energy?"

[@varogoth]

@@potaterjim i'd love to live in a world where this was true.

[@maxthepaladin2147]

I found this video when I was scrolling through my yt feed during a sleepless night and once I clicked I couldn't stop watching A truly great vid. It's full of empathy (resource that's always scarce on the internet), it adresses many social issues hiding in plain sight and it doesn't needlessly blame anyone for anything. Not only it beautifully put to word and adressed many of my own thoughts and anxieties, it also showed some points and perspectives that haven't before crossed my mind I'm happy I found it. Thank you, Macabre Storytelling and thank you, KZbin algorithm

[@themule8625]

The answer to the problem between the sexes is a rediscovery of "traditional" roles. Not what modern conservatives think they are, and not what modern liberals think they are, but a sober minded examination of what worked in the past. Reading literature and history we see that men did have strong emotional support, within their male friends and within their families. Even in the Iliad we see Priam crying and begging for his son's body's return to the city so he can be properly respected. On the whole you have a great perspective in this video and it will help more men and woman than most other videos from either side on this subject.

[@themule8625]

@@M0b1us_118 why would i mix fresh water with sewage?

[@RatPfink66]

We have a big history hang-up in this nation. Back before the memory of living people, all we really care about is wars. That's not gonna present a useful profile of social roles.

[@SeanSmith-lv7wl]

can you elaborate more on this

[@themule8625]

@@SeanSmith-lv7wl If you want to know how to have a long, happy marriage. Go ask someone who had a long, happy marriage.

[@elizabethlockhart2103]

Oh hooooooly fuck. You nailed it with the "addicted to validation" thing. I just had a terrible revelation, but I'm glad I had it. Wonderful video, wonderful writing, excellent and nuanced discussion of the topic.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤👍

[@ziwuri]

I'm gonna assume your gender based on your name but anyway, interesting to see that both men and women have the same struggles and that you found this video interesting enough to watch it even though it just screams how it's for men :)

[@johannajoline]

Thank you, actually I am a woman and I thought this advice is pretty good. But I also want to tell the story, which I call 'toxic feminism'? Like, my father left our family so my mother told me the whole fucking time how horrible men are. And not only her, I wasnt allowed to sleep at a friends place, I wasnt allowed to walk from one street to the other. My mother, teacher, aunt, even we girls always told never talk to a man, if a man talks to you, start screaming. I am over 25 now and can still not really talk to men. They are like monsters for me. I dont know how they talk, how they make jokes, they are like fucking aliens for me...and I am NOW trying to actually come in contact with men (i am not joking). Thank you society!

[@johannajoline]

@PERSEUS 93 thank you xD yeah, I heard that rumor too!;)

[@dragonheart1236]

@@johannajoline that shit is rough, I can't really imagine. Hopefully this video will help you with some advice.

[@Vladimyrful]

Sounds awful, I'm really sorry.

[@Red-le3cq]

My mum told me this too Turns out she was right

[@FiddleYourTiddle666]

My mom was basically the same way, she thought that I would be raped or kidnapped by any and every man that came in contact with us. She has an obvious distrust for men that I do not blame her for (she was a victim of multiple men throughout her life) but it was so toxic and even though I don’t have a problem talking to men, I do become very scared and anxious when men get angry and raise their voices. I fear men’s anger

[@jonathonjohnson1227]

Needed something to listen to while cleaning today in the office and you lowkey almost got me emotionally invested in a DATING ADVICE VIDEO. You my friend are a talent and need to be protected at all costs.

[@MacabreStorytelling]

❤️

[@refraysmusic]

One of the most important videos I have ever seen. Every so often I come back to it. It really helps identify the problems and call out the bs. It's so frustrating how people call you an "incel" over trying to improve yourself for dating.

[@angrypotato9914]

"We cannot just condemn them and move on, we must extend empathy and understanding." - Macabre This rings true forever, I don't think I'll ever see this quote lie.

[@johnrooney1455]

Fun fact: pickup artistry started in Ancient Rome in about 1BCE Ovid wrote a book called the Ars amatoria(Latin for the art of love) which was basically about how to pickup girls at Roman events like races or games.

[@noble20xx56]

Yooo that's actually interesting. Heh all roads lead to Rome.

[@TheAlchemist1089]

@Exiest_Osas Saso yeah no. No society is perfect

[@ropeboyo-fullstreamsandass2569]

Ave, true to Caesar

[@duarte2]

@Exiest_Osas Saso "As an Italian" Yes, my Italian friend, tell me how your bloodline is telling you through the ages about courtship customs 2000 years ago lmao

[@junichiroyamashita]

@@duarte2 well,i have nothing in particular against PUA specifically,but the Ars Amatoria is much more than that from what i know,and not because we italians have genetic memory from 2000 years ago,but because we often read parts when studying latin.

[@Fairygelic]

As a woman, I just want to say thank you for making this video and opening my eyes. I was starting to feel incredibly bitter and angry with men as a whole. I decided to put my ego aside and see things from a different perspective and this has been so insightful to a lot of things I wasn’t considering that men go through. Incredibly eye opening and just beautifully worded, thank you so much!

[@arinad3373]

Yes, same. These topics are not talked about enough.

[@liamnielson5335]

This video has been a turning point in my life. This has made me realize how I have been ignoring necessary points of few on dating as well as society in general. Keep up the good work I can't be the only one to need to hear this