Managing Expectations: Calculating & Preparing for Logical Outcomes. Observe Don't Absorb

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In “Preparing for the Narcissistic Storm,” the crucial stage six of Ross Rosenberg’s Self-Love Recovery Program, the treatment practitioner helps the SLD/codependent to focus on preparation, practice, and “predictive awareness.”
All the general topics prepare the recovering SLD for Stage Six, “Setting Boundaries in a Hostile Environment,” the most challenging stage of the program.
In preparing for the narcissistic storm, the program assists, empowers, and teaches recovering SLDs a variety of insights, strategies, and tools that enable them to set boundaries with narcissists while surviving it successfully.
Among many other techniques, managing expectations empowers the recovering SLD to make critically important decisions that are predicted to have consequences.
The decision-making process requires carefully studying the pros and cons/possible consequences of the planned carefully planned boundaries. A realistic and potentially safe action plan can be made by considering the full range of potential outcomes.
ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG
Ross Rosenberg, M. Ed., LCPC, CADC, is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.
Ross's pioneering codependency contributions are responsible for the sweeping theoretical and practical updates and developing a treatment program that permanently resolves it. Ross has been featured on national TV and radio and is a regular radio and podcast guest. In addition, he has traveled the world, giving his one-of-a-kind keynote presentations and educational workshops.
His KZbin channel best illustrates his global impact with 23 million views and 260,000 subscribers and the sale of 155,000 Human Magnet Syndrome books published in 12 languages. In 2013, Ross created The Self-Love Recovery Institute, a hub for his personal development, workshops, professional training, retreats, other programs, and services.
Learn more at www.SelfLoveRecovery.com.
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[@carolineh.9160]

I’m so sorry you were treated like that Dr. Ross, that’s just terrible. You have really become a formidable example of endurance and a great teacher 💪💖.

[@IngaCombs]

This managing your expectations is really going to be a life changer! Thank you

[@ginafarley6190]

Thank you! Recently used ODA and it helped me in a rough situation. I knew going into this what would happen. Of course! Still healing, but so grateful that I’m not alone. Will pass on your wisdom and thank you immensely.

[@amiraezz204]

I get reactions going on to me everyday in my workplace. As an ordinary codependent, I always felt there was something wrong with me. Thanks for sharing your story with your family. Now I know that I don't deserve their behaviors towards me. I'll follow your advice about "observe don't absorb method". Also, I'll stop internalizing their abuse and stuffing it inside as more shame.

[@eleserre]

I have exactly the same experince that you had Dr Ross know how much it hurts!❤

[@K.G-I.N.F.P.]

16:50 i burst out laughing because it really does get to the level where youre reminding yourself that there is absolutely no evidence that they ever loved you. They are so overly pragmatic that you really can only remember the transactional false entitlements they have to abuse you speaks to empty understanding that they're incapable of love. Theres no evidence - just manipulation. I love that

[@AliceLytle]

This helped me so much!! Thank you!!!

[@karenmurray6599]

Observe don’t absorb is very important for me to keep my mind clear and my heart happy, and keeps me from being their scapegoat and a victim.

[@thesimplyspoiled1]

These past ten years I didn’t know what was “wrong” with him. The past two years I found the word narcissistic was the closet thing that explained it. But lately I discovered a person on the spectrum. I know now that although my “person” has learned some very narcissistic behaviors in order to function, they are actually on the autism spectrum or, what used to be called “Asperger’s Syndrome” or High Functioning autism. Just throwing that out there. Sometimes we get the labels wrong.

[@elizabethoconnor3531]

Very educational! Thanks for sharing.

[@deborahdevries6201]

Very helpful - it will take some self control at the next family gathering of narcissistic in-laws. It will be worth every minute to see my grandson who has been kept from me.

[@danielasheehan7850]

I love it !

[@bananamiriam]

Thank you, this is so helpful 🙏

[@captainkirkcoinslinger]

I really need to work on this.

[@batmanwgd]

best video on youtube bar none

[@dinacostin8074]

What if we make a decision not to attend the family event? Isn’t that better? Why to expose to those who play with one’s emotional health?

[@Salvnite]

That's my moto... Don't give them the opportunity to throw fiery darts/subtlety place poison in my mind far outweighs putting yourself in what one might call a vulnerable situation... At the same time though ... In life you can't always get away from narcissist and maybe it's designed to "practice avoidance techniques" from the people who already hurt you so you could remember how to do this to even a stronger "Narc/evil system" that you might not be aware that is out there. It seems like this could go many different ways... My technique so far is use your past pain and study it and learn from it... It may not be perfect we are all different in many ways... I sit back and study at the library instead of "meddling with" the societal norms that seem to be set up to destroy the weak and reward the brutish... The way I think about it is that that are"opportunities" for the weak to escape situations to survive like that one opening that they could go into... Think about the story David and Goliath... "That one thing" David could have done to defeat Goliath is quickly make a sling and use a rock that was next to him via how "the environment made available/was set up" God perserves the simple remember that. The way maker.

[@rosiemckinney1061]

ODA sounds like gray rock.

[@FrederiqueBertin]

I have turned to G-d and i let them be busy with all of their fakeness not talking with them any more . Letting them fall into the sinking holes of their fakeness .