Managing Loneliness During Your PhD

Рет қаралды 4,391

Жыл бұрын

Do you feel lonely and isolated during your studies? Even if you're in a relationship or have close friends, it's natural to feel lonely during your PhD. But why do we feel this way and how can we overcome these unbearable feelings of loneliness throughout our PhD journey? In this podcast, I explore the truth behind our feelings of loneliness and explore ways we can manage and overcome them.
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Пікірлер: 31

@andy2950 Жыл бұрын

I, too, I'm very introverted. I'm also diagnosed autistic. The only time I'm completely stress free is when I dive into solitude. One can only feel lonely if one needs company to be happy. Anti loneliness therapy fails because it assumes loneliness is an illness to be cured. I've never met anyone that I can say gives me more pleasure than a good nonfiction tome. Academia is the other person in this relationship; your partner, your confident, your support, Cinzia. You are not alone. A second hand bookshop or library is more exciting than any dating app. You are funny, witty and alluring. I find your lack of confidence frustrating. ✌️

@yb958 Жыл бұрын

Wow this is so relatable and helpful. I am not doing a PhD but I struggle with unmet needs and have unrealistic expectations of my emotional relationships with people. This video is so helpful and really good for me yo reflect on. Also!!! You are definitely someone I would love to talk to in real life ^_^ I'm currently looking for some content on perfectionism, so I am going to start with your videos.

@philipswain4122 Жыл бұрын

I did my PhD full time ( 3 years in an organic chemistry lab). About 2 years in, I struggled massively with the blues. The biggest problem were the miserable job prospects afterwards. Once I finished, I packed my rucksack and left the UK to wander around Mother Earth. I ended up living in the US and then Canada I changed careers several times. Bottom line, just go where your heart takes you.

@lesliemoiseauthor Жыл бұрын

It's a meditation between solitude and isolation. I'm so glad you have your dog. Thank you for breaking down the feelings and how to move through them. So MUCH 💕 You have given me some tools to cope that I would never thought of by myself.

@marialeg2367 Жыл бұрын

Dear Cinzia, as you might know from previous comments of mine, I am a psychologist. Your research and input are very, very interesting and accurate!

@SelfHelpShelf Жыл бұрын

Thank you for saying so, Maria

@no-es7nz Жыл бұрын

The lesson about managing expectations is something I'm handling right now and honestly it is freeing when you stop taking people's reactions personally. I used to be quite an anxious and sensitive person (to some degree I still am, except now I can re-route that energy to my academic work or art works), yet my whole life I was okay being alone...until I got to college and all those feelings I tucked away came back out full force. I used to take people's reactions to things in relationships all the way to my ego and I would judge myself based on the 'quality' of my friendships. This was incredibly damaging to me mentally to say the least haha. Eventually I learned that people's reactions to things 99.9% of the time has to do with them and only them alone (let that be trauma, mental health or simply just personality). That thought itself has changed the way I view relationships (of course I still reflect on my actions and try to improve, but I don't get caught up on that feeling of 'loneliness' anymore). I am happy being by myself and more often than not I don't feel misunderstood anymore. I also don't feel like I HAVE to bottle something up, I can break down my emotions and be patient with myself through difficult days. Kindness and patience towards life's most difficult feelings has helped me get through very isolated times. It's incredible how a simple change in mindset can improve your quality of life. I do have to remark though, friends are incredibly important. Humans are social animals after all, but I do think social media is warping a lot of perspectives on friendships. When you go online, all you see is people's curated moments and that can, in a lot of ways, make all of us feel inadequate. Anyways been loving these podcasts. I listen to them in between study periods and they keep me quite motivated so thank you!

@Spacecookie- Жыл бұрын

Everything you've said about loneliness I relate to. I've been there with the eating difficulties too, reaching a very low point in my life.

@k.ande.southworth9197 Жыл бұрын

If I'm being honest. We've had hit or miss with it. Alot of what we thought were good friends, were mostly one sided. But a few here and there have really cared about us, and showed it. Those friends we are eternally greatful to. Without them we would not be where we are now. Your so right about lonelness being a lumped feeling, it's usually just disappointment.

@Kevin_the_Caveman Жыл бұрын

To be honest I don't think I've ever heard anyone talk about loneliness in a manner that was as relatable to me as you did. I have to say, I admire the way you're talking so candidly about the extreme levels of loneliness you experienced, I myself feel quite ashamed of it (the vicious circle of doing poorly, largely because of isolation and lack of support, and therefore retreating inwards even further) and I have trouble talking about it at length even with doctors. Covid and lockdown was a strange time for me; I saw all those people in distress because of a degree of social isolation that had been the norm for me for years, that helped me realise how badly I was actually doing mentally, because I neglected my own emotional wellbeing. Thing is, I'm not a hermit, I see people reasonably often, but I have trouble really being myself, I'm always feeling defensive. Although it's getting better now that I realised what I was inflicting on myself. PS: I noticed just now that the "latin" of the podcast's image is some Lorem Ipsum gibberish, usually anything looking like latin gets my attention immediately, but I guess I've just been listening unusually attentively!

@augustine.c8204 8 ай бұрын

You're an incredibly empathetic and understanding person... I would have trouble even still calling them friends after such an event

@jeffreystaben3063 Жыл бұрын

I have found you inspirational and I love listening to your podcasts KZbin channels and your study sessions. I have felt that you have open my eyes to situations that have been in my life for a very long time that I should not be in. Keep up the good work and thank you.

@LILA-FANAL 9 ай бұрын

I'm not even a PhD student but this was really helpful re-evaluating needs and expectations in friendships ☔️

@lifeofpandora8056 Жыл бұрын

this is such a valuable, priceless explanation 🌻

@gj2600 Жыл бұрын

I’m really looking forward to the next episode!🥰

@Bri4nG 9 ай бұрын

Thank you for this insight. I feel much better about my loneliness.

@justintutaki-martin8651 Жыл бұрын

I love how you talked about the Buddhists 😀 living in awareness can be lonely because very few people do it, cool talk though 🐭...😉

@Will-o-the-kid Жыл бұрын

Love these.

@gcastrell Жыл бұрын

I am enjoying these podcasts so much :)

@dindrane1 Жыл бұрын

Wonderful, as usual. You are someone I would love to talk to in person.

@SelfHelpShelf Жыл бұрын

Thank you!

@TheAnneBonney Жыл бұрын

So interesting. Thank you

@SelfHelpShelf Жыл бұрын

Glad you enjoyed it

@ConfusedApe Жыл бұрын

I emphasize with you a lot on this issue. Feelings of loneliness and exclusion have burdened me since childhood. And learning to be open to people, make myself vulnerable and trust in being liked has been a journey. That said, I don't think, most of our generation would have turned to social media in a mouse situation. Sure, that's what people do most visibly, and this strategy working is even more visible than it failing. But expecting even relatively good friends to come to help after a social media post is unreasonable. It means that they would need to initialize a conversation about an offer of help. My experience is that offering your trust in being helped if you ask for it, is rewarded with even just acquaintances gladly helping and feeling honoured for being asked to do so. I've one read that this was Benjamin Franklin's advice on how to make friends: to ask for favours.