Tell her what you want

[@oliverkoehler785]

Say after me, and don't be ashamed to say it: I need physical and emotional connection, safety, intimacy, integrity, touch, presence, availability, consistency and balance of needs!

[@BloodyHeck]

You can say it all you want but the answer is going to be no.

[@dbanks128]

Men naturally want an abundance of dates. Deal with it

[@holocene.]

How does one differentiate expressing your needs vs expressing it and it coming off as needy or codependent?

[@MoistOwlettes]

@@holocene.if she interprets it as codependency and neediness then she ain’t the one for you.

[@g.beranda2176]

​@@BloodyHeck I said all those in the beginning , she was agreed , but it was difficult to her.

[@Cerrah311]

There is not enough comments here. As a women, yes please “honestly” tell us what you want. My best relationships were with real honest men, and it taught me a lot about communicating. But liars/mixed messages spoil it on both sides.

[@MichaelRicksAherne]

Quality content. In my opinion, the distinction is not so much "don't prioritize her needs", but more accurately "don't prioritize her needs AT THE EXPENSE OF YOUR OWN". That second part is critical. Put your partner's needs before your own, but not in place of your own. It's a subtle but important difference. Too many men (myself included) fail to make this distinction, and end up sacrificing and sacrficing until there's nothing left to give, and then wonder how we got there. Water your own garden first. It's not selfish to have needs. It's not selfish to ensure those needs are being met.

[@johnhorne44]

Powerful perspective!

[@zoraidamorales]

For me, it’s best for both parties to state what they’re looking for transparency and if the other doesn’t meet the need, it’s clear and the person can decide whether to move forward or not. I want to meet a gentleman who has an idea where he wants to take me and what he wants to do bc I will communicate my wants and needs for a harmonious relationship. I find that sexy. I do not want to put time and energy in things or people that I’m not aligned with. That’s not a bad thing, it’s respecting and honoring ourselves. If the other person is not for you, that leaves room for the right person to come along.

[@Kris-ym2zr]

Great video. It's a reminder that even before a woman comes into your life, to live rather than postpone what you value and aspire for. Don't neglect your hobbies, base your schedule on them. By default, anyone coming into that action based reality will have to sink or swim.

[@sithlord5678]

Dam, I really really wish i found this video and this channel before I got married. Without a lot of relationship experience, I fell into the trap of she loves me so she must be the right one for me. But I am not communicating what I value and essentially being a pushover in our relationship. I fall into the nice guy trap of avoiding conflicts and always letting her get what she wants. This video is a real eye opener and I hope its not too late for me to put this advice into practice and see what my relationship really is like when I communicate my needs.

[@VaibhavPuranik007]

Brother, understand that honestly and openness is a two way street. Even if you are upfront about what you want, if the other person isn't honest it leads to same thing.

[@bjmaynard01]

Sure, but all you can control is you. Why not strive to be the best you and hope that attracts the best people for you?

[@notnicenoway]

then find somebody that's honest

[@KilleRoy_NL]

I was about to say, "then at least you know you weren't the problem and did your part to make things work"

[@louannmiddleton6347]

Yes , thank you! Direct and honesty….such a turn on. Don’t beat around the bush. Tell the truth, for us , liking the truth is optional…but TELL ME THE TRUTH

[@triplezgames3882]

Never stop doing those videos... You're leading us men towards leading ourselves and leading our partners

[@TommyLomeo-k5d]

This is an incredible comment.💪🫶

[@magnumgsr]

This vid popped up at just the right time... thank you Universe! and thank you sir, hope your channel grows.

[@ManTalks]

You're very welcome

[@ddiotte]

Follow through on what is said is very important. I learned that after my last relationship. In my current relationship, I say it, we do it. We plan up to two or three months in advance for the things I love and she is more than happy to tag along (hiking, camping, canoeing, cycling). She loves it when I lead.

[@Gamepwn3]

Just wanted to pop in and say your a truly great guy. Not alot of men who have life and relationships figured out as well as you do would really take the time to sit down and teach others how to figure it out, let alone do it for free and post it for everyone on youtube. that deserves an immense amount of recognition, in my opinion. Im 24 and im currently falling out of a very toxic relationship where neither of us were happy but just went with it just so we didnt have to be lonley. Typically i get very self destructive durring breakups but i wanted to take a diffrent avenue this time and your videos are like therapy. There is so much that i need to work on within myself not only for a potential relationship but in my family relationships aswell! If it wasnt for content like this id likley go striaght back to drugs and drinking like i always have. Thank you so much, your content is a blessing!

[@Allen_Rocha]

I needed this today, been feeling very lost and now I understand why

[@oliverkoehler785]

Honouring needs, feelings and your own heart!

[@lesliey3996]

Your advice is exactly what is needed. You provide such a healthy and measured way of addressing difficult yet extreme important topics. This is a healthy channel for both men and women and I am glad the “big brother” algorithm led me to your amazing channel. Keep up the great work as you are undoubtedly saving lives! 🎉

[@Flash3-22]

I agree - almost everything he says hits home. My husband truly believed that I should have been able to read his mind to meet his needs. It would have helped a lot years ago.

[@fakazi9178]

Love it Man! Keep up the great work. Relationships would be easier if men just showed up and did as you suggest. No force, just having a backbone as a man.

[@chukwuemekaokany9902]

Very insightful & articulate.

[@babajideisrael0x]

Great video. I need to prioritize me more.. So used to meeting the needs of babes first. Thanks

[@level_ken5231]

I saw a quote somewhere that said the right one won’t get in your way but will make room for you to step forward. I’ve taken this to heart because when the right opportunity presents herself (lol), I’ll be ready to do that by expressing my wants and needs, and being the leader that I want to be.

[@Mohdzn]

simple, yet effective. thanks

[@oliverkoehler785]

Honouring your own needs also helps honour your own boundaries

[@Mac_Raymond]

Just got out of a 10 year relationship. Realizing I never took the time to think about what I need to even communicate that to my ex. Could never commit and felt unfulfilled the entire time. Took way longer than needed to figure out we weren't a match

[@daveo9844]

I hear ya. Just finished after 9 (thankfully) 🍻

[@kevingruenofficial]

Your channel is so damn grounding dude. Thank you!

[@PeytonChambers-g8c]

Solid advice solid channel. Had to learn this myself

[@joannayeung3705]

Thank you, I was told this before. Honesty is always the best thing. When men tell me what they need, if I can't meet their needs, I will be honest and tell them. They respect that a lot, that give me so much confidence in finding the man God grants me.

[@SoLoM177]

I hope i applied this 5 years a go 🖤 She isn't the problem , i was 💔 Be brave guys apply that now don't regret later

[@cthomas-au]

Great video. Love your work. I definitely need to bring this to my relationship

[@xXHavocGamerXx]

I wish I had heard this 2 years ago i could have saved some relationships had I known any of this. But I’m grateful for the experience and opportunity to learn from my past mistakes I’ve lead 2 relationships like this and wanted to prioritize them to make them feel good and I barely took care of myself

[@YuriZkit]

I did that for our honeymoon 10 years ago. First part was an adventure, the second one a room with balcony over a sea and an all inclusive where we stayed in the room for one week. Now i have been told that all the vacaciones i have planned are horrible and were only for me 😁. You know, when you plan a vacation for weeks, anxious for everything would be alright and all must be happy (including kid). Basically she opened a world alongside with me. We saw so many countries, places, met many nive people and got friendship qith thrm. And you just get that after so many years....

[@JereyStonearm]

One of the modt important video's for a man on KZbin

[@andreea9155]

This goes both ways, just because the media shows these "perfect" guys that attend your needs I think we should also look at how the most women are treated and observe that their needs aren't met either. It's about every relationship in particular, about how you prioritize communication and talk about what you need. Everyone should know how to approach this subject and open up with their partners, I believe that in serious relationships your partner will be more than happy to meet your needs and make you happy, so if not, it just means they are selfish with you and don't really care about you feeling fulfilled. Interesting video, just not really the full perspective in my opinion.

[@nathanrobertsofficial1524]

I think people should stop calling there wants “needs.” It’s manipulative. You don’t need to act like camping or another activity that matters to you is a “need” of yours. It’s not, anyway. Just tell her you want to go camping together, see if it works out, and if it doesn’t, then, maybe that’s not the relationship for you. But labeling your desires as needs gives them this sense of obligation, which your partner will feel. Calling them wants (while still not compromising on them) is a lot more honest. So either that, or make it very clear that you need some thing “in order to…“ So that it’s clear that what you’re requesting is necessary in order to achieve something else you want, and not just a want that you’re conveying as if it’s a survival need.

[@aperta7525]

💯

[@FooMantis]

Overall I agree with the premise, but I might even go so far as to prefer calling them "priorities" over either needs (too much pressure implied) or wants (inherently not firm enough, implies it's ok to dismiss).

[@beetdiggingcougar]

No, if it is that important to them, it's a need. The other person gets to decide if they line up. If not, they can find someone else.

[@MKULTRA_Victim_]

Another great video.

[@lutherdean6922]

Thanks for sharing this

[@LouisHache-rp5ec]

Merci!

[@ManTalks]

You're the best! Thanks for the support on the channel and let me know if there are any topics you'd like me to cover

[@ChimaDimaku]

Thank you

[@excelomokaro3024]

All I want to say is thank you.

[@aperta7525]

I might just be an odd woman. But I think that "norm" is reversed. See ... I like walking into another person's life. I like trying new things. I like supporting another person's interests. I like finding shared interests. And I like nurturing another person's inner child (to see them joyful). But when with my ex, it was one-sided. He wasn't trying to get to know me, never asked me questions about likes or dislikes or favorites etc. And I grew to resent it. When I hear this idea of being swept up into an adventure, all I can imagine is self-negation. And when you mention about REALLY getting to know a person being all about how they respond to your interests, hobbies, passions etc... something about that doesn't sit right with me. I was going through Scripture recently, and came across what Jesus said about Marriage. About a man leaving his father and mother to be joined to his wife. He doesn't say anything about the woman leaving father and mother. It led me to imagine that His intention for Engagement and Marriage - even simply dating - is not destabilizing a woman socially or financially etc. It prioritizes her relationships and comfortability and life, and a certain level of independent dependency. But your remark about the necessity of direct communication is absolutely spot on.

[@mishacwill]

I want to marry a guy like this guy.

[@2Corinth5.21]

This works. Take control. Tell her what you want even in your relationship. If they love you, they’ll do it. If they don’t, leave them. Be direct and tell her what you want. Tell her you want sex. Tell her you want to eat steak. Tell her. A real woman will follow you.

[@KillaBean416]

I wish I saw this video 9 years ago. Fuck

[@beezowdoodoozoppitybopbopb9488]

Mooooooooooooode oooooooone! RIP ARC

[@BloodyHeck]

I'm 55 and have seen it's less a matter of the man not being able to say what he wants, it's more a matter of he learns it's pointless to say it or to ask for what he wants because the answer is going to be no.

[@urbanart7325]

I wasn't honest with myself. My soon to be x wife was not what I needed and ignored many red flags hidden my the qualities I liked

[@urbanart7325]

That was my failure

[@fhmoth]

What about when your needs are against a religion upon which your marriage was established?

[@deveugene7]

This.

[@johnizitchiforalongtime]

I never got this type of education from my father nor at schools. Never was able to ask questions or question questions. I feel like a loser.

[@Miko-yw5xt]

I appreciate honesty in a man, each to their own but personally hooking up turns me off and worse guys that make it clear they dont want a relationship then say sexually crude remarks to me when I've made it clear i dont want a hook up. dick move...x

[@joeb5578]

She does tell me how much she lives me once a week.😅

[@DnVFMVs]

if only i seen this video 4 days earlier i think i just lost the love of my life...

[@jackdeniston6150]

More abusing Men. Really, The message needs to be Men are allowed to say what we need. If your woman says no, SHE is the problem. Lets be real, We became nice guys because of evil mothers.

[@steelydan146]

I don't experience this thing where women are saying your (the man) needs are not as important as mine (the woman).