Why MEN care about a woman’s sexual past and what most women get wrong

We're going to talk about why men care about a women's sexual past or history and what most women get wrong about this question.
I get messages from women all the time asking why their partner cares so much about their sexual past, so I'm going to talk about it.
Get a copy of my book, Men's Work, Here: mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Join the next Live Men's Weekend: mantalks.com/mens-weekend/
Stay Connected
Instagram: / mantalks
Facebook: / mantalks.ca
Website: mantalks.com
• Why MEN care about a w...
#ManTalks #MensWork #adviceformen

[@rahulsinghdeo5982]

Past relationship matters. No one wants to be the safe choice, everyone wants to be the first pick.

[@ozan4702]

​​@@TheBritlondon if he cares about your sexual history and disrespects your rights to have sex before you met him, he is not that amazing.

[@davepazz580]

@@ozan4702 And if she cares about your financial situation/status and disrespects your rights to spend your money right now, she is not that amazing...

[@allAdvise727]

I was seeing this girl since a year we are together, we both shared very good loving bond with each other she is very much fond of me❤ but out of nowhere she is talking to a man who is older age (45) for about month now and you know what happened that man purposely shared all his text messages involving kissing talks etc and he wants me to go away from her.. And when I saw the texts it just killed me from inside, should I continue with my gf or not, because after knowing this I'm feeling a bit different for my gf and if I do continue with her I'll loose the self-respect for me in my own eyes.. we both are in our early 20's.. This older man is trying to destroy my relationship.. I'm very confused ( Anybody can give their suggestion who are reading )

[@xxatomantxx67]

@@allAdvise727just leave

[@AlpLimIndFox]

It depends on the gender, from what I understand, females tend to want to be looked at only for themselves by their male partner and males want to be the one and only for their female partner, I guess this is how biology designed us

[@JBurt13]

My wife and I started dating when I was 21 and she was 19. We married at 23 and 21. She admitted she was with 2 guys sexually before me. I've only ever dated and been with my wife sexually. We are now 45 and 43 (still married). To this very day 24 years later, I am bothered that she had 2 people prior to me, and I have only had her. Why it bothers me to this day? I don't know. But Men do care.

[@ralfphilipp]

Maybe it´s the thinking about comparing them to the predecessors

[@crispinswainstonharrison9042]

Mmm,. I sympathise bro. Not cool of her.

[@thewonkyfonker]

​@@crispinswainstonharrison9042if she thought those relationships would last and she didn't know her husband-to-be existed yet, how would she have known?

[@RaphaelBernardo]

more s3xual activity with many women is what you needed before getting married, my gf and me have almost the same high bodycount and because of my experience, I don't feel uncomfortable with that.

[@thewonkyfonker]

@@RaphaelBernardo sounds like it would get old after the second or third relationship. It's new and interesting the first few times but for me I got bored of it.

[@jc74435]

I think a better analogy on the trips would be if the boyfriend took her to paris, planned the whole trip including what museums to go, which restaurants to go to, etc. And then she founds out that he in the past took 10 other girls to the exact same trip, with the same route, museums and restaurants, and he was with the girls for only a couple weeks when he took them there.

[@lindseyhermes8687]

My husband had to remind me while we were dating that super slick swaggy dudes get that way by repetition and not to expect the same from a type of guy that (for example) prefers relationships to casual dating

[@p19shelt]

Ya that would be the 10% of men. Cuz we not the rich..

[@marcellusrobinson1465]

Exactly woman care more about past romantic experiences their partner shared with a ex Men care more about past unemotional sex their partner had.

[@TheUnique69able]

@@marcellusrobinson1465men care about both the sexual and the emotional. If said women had a large number of sexual and emotional experiences with many other men, I have no need for her.

[@gradosa8272]

😂😂😂🙄nothing is as frail as the men’s ego. Spider Web holds more pressure and weight.

[@durandas6661]

Boys your instincts is telling you shes not worth it,i know it hurts but respect the instincts its the same instincts that helped your ancestors stay alive for thousands of years its biological dont fight it with modern moral cause at the end of the day we are animals.

[@ruthmchuwen]

Same thing applies to women. She needs to go with her ‘biological’ instinct. Which is to be as selective as possible and only mate with (physically, financially, mentally) strong males. It’s nature

[@AliPi7]

I think men with high body count deserve a woman with a high body count. I’m 40 and have had 3 partners my entire life (one of them being an ex husband). I have certain values, and I want to be with a man with similar values. A man with a high body count to me says he lacks good character, he is reckless, low self esteem, lacks self control, and doesn’t have standards. I also view promiscuous men as weak. It is a turn off that someone slept with so many different people. I don’t want that in my body, my bed, and in my world. Keep it movin.

[@ShredzZ]

Good point but you need to check it from different perspective, average girls nowadays can have sex immediately, they just open instagram and text some dude and 90% of this guys probably accept the invite for free "fun", opposite side the average guy when he text the girl that he want to bang her he will be probably blocked, so guy who have more bodies is viewed by others that he have something to offer to that girls because this girls want him. Also women have hymen for a reason right? It's not "there" for a joke. Most women are very emotional if it goes to intimacy, men just do it and that's all, so more bodies for women means she will just do it mechanically like men.

[@AliPi7]

@@ShredzZ 1. Hymen is there to prevent infections since a young female doesn’t have a robust immunity to fight infections adult women can. 2. Values are values. I don’t care what anyone’s reasoning is for sleeping around, men or women, it’s unacceptable and I don’t want anything to do with men who sleep around and I want no associations with women who also sleep around.

[@ShredzZ]

@@AliPi7 Its up to you but most of women dont care about men body count, im also dont see any point to sleep with random women but still, men need to have something to offer to even go to a date, women just born and that's it.

[@AliPi7]

@@ShredzZ that’s ok. The women who don’t care are typically that type themselves.

[@sarahrobertson634]

@@ShredzZ We all care about men's body count. I despise promiscuous men.

[@I_Am_NiiTA]

As a woman, i honestly dont mind if a man told me he didnt want a promiscuous woman. I get it. I just hate when those stupid double standards are pushed on us. I dont speak for all women, but i dont want a promiscuous partner either 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@JIX9ISLER1986]

The problem is this. Women by in large DO NOT disqualify a man based on his sexual past.....women by in large do not punish men for their sexual past....so as long as women reward these men with sexual access that "double standard" will always exist

[@I_Am_NiiTA]

@@JIX9ISLER1986 remember when I said I don't speak for all women? I don't care what other women want. I only care about what I want. And I said I don't want a promiscuous man. End of story

[@JIX9ISLER1986]

@@I_Am_NiiTA No I don't remember because you are a random NPC like most modern women you seem to lack reading comprehension - I never said "ALL women" try reading with logic instead of your emotions my statement still stands

[@davepazz580]

Men can't be "promiscuous" because men don't control access to sex... women do.

[@L3xou97]

​@@I_Am_NiiTA30% of men are either virgins or did not have a sexual intercourse in the past year. And this number is rising. For women this number is below 5%. So if you want men with low bodycount you have plenty of choice, but men looking for a woman with low BC is like looking for water in a desert

[@sandrewmukhim108]

The one who does not effect by a women's past is only a robot 😅

[@tastyparts]

No my friend. Guys that get hung up on this are battling some internal insecurities that that aren't able to admit they carry. I personally have a pretty high body count and I don't want a woman who hasn't lived her life and had the kind of experiences I've had. I don't want to be her teacher. I want to celebrate her and her sexuality and mine as well within the relationship. Honestly if you're hung up on something like this you have inner work to do.

[@user-hv3ln3rk8i]

"If all they want is sex? " is the great question for all, men and women, to ask, because depending on answer, you will get results. One STANDART for all.

[@MasseyThaiBoxing]

It's so bizarre that we now live in a time where women need to have it explained to them that men do not want to commit to promiscuous women

[@darkraft1020]

And still, most of them cannot face this, and deny it or shame men for it.

[@gregorylyon1004]

True but men want to be promiscuous before settling down when they get older and hide their true past and body count

[@andersnielsen6044]

But there is also a LOT of men, that cannot understand the difference of being promiscuous and having an active sexlife.

[@ankra12]

What about promiscious men?

[@darkraft1020]

@@ankra12 We don't want to commit to promiscuous men either! Whatever women do is their own business. If women dont like promiscuous men, then they need to set that standard. Nobody else will set it for you..

[@EndzMoney]

I remember being in bed with a girl, and she was a little nervous speaking English. As she spoke about why she doesn't kiss, it was an avalanche of things she did in her past, 150+ body count and countless other things. It was never the same after that, I spoke with my face what I thought about it.

[@sarahrobertson634]

I despise promiscuous men. You're as guilty as she is.

[@princeminato]

Lol

[@princeminato]

Ur number 151

[@hansquire]

You're the #150 pokemon in her connection

[@2Sugarbears]

And yet you would brag about the same number. Double fricking standard created by and for men.

[@destroso]

I can overlook a sexual history but I can’t overlook a woman that keeps photos with all her exes, talks about all her exes, is actively friends with all her exes, all of these consistently.

[@peter2633]

If she has a past she’s already keeping images, thoughts, feelings and memories of those experiences in her mind. She will always consciously or subconsciously compare you to her past partners. “Try your best to marry/date a virgin woman.” This way you will be exclusive to her.

[@destroso]

@@peter2633 ideally, yes but reality can be different

[@derreckaffor5584]

This is the healthiest male content out there! Thank you man

[@ManTalks]

Appreciate that. Hope you subscribe and share

[@adrianazollo2688]

Average man saying the same shit all men do lol

[@ManTalks]

@@adrianazollo2688 average woman relying the same way all average women do.

[@The_Questionaut]

​@@adrianazollo2688You show tons of red flags from just a brief look at your comments. The stuff you say seems egotistical and pretentious

[@adrianazollo2688]

@@The_Questionaut lmfao!!!!!!!!!

[@TheMMSpirit]

Hmm... You know before I married my wife, who was a virgin, I was dating another girl for close to a year. I had a few girlfriends before her, as she had also prior partners - we were both in our late 20s at the time. But once we went to a party, and I met two guys she had slept with before. It's hard to describe that feeling of humiliation. Obviously, we broke up and then I met the girl I did end up marrying. So it was for the best, but I still think back to that time. Does anyone get what I'm saying - escorting a beautiful woman out, and finding out there was other guys present who also took her to bed? Hated the feeling, and not interested in wearing a green hat.

[@billy503]

It's not just humiliation. I think this is the number one issue with this topic: articulating how you feel. It's unsurety and dejection of the soul. The unsurety is whether or not those were the only two guys and whether or not faithfulness played a role in those relationships not working out. It's also you're intuitive senses warning you that if it didn't work out with those two guys, it may not work out with you. The dejection of the soul is because you feel crushed that she gave herself up willingly to men she had no intentions or convictions to pursue for longevity. Your soul was forwarning you that that would be your fate as well, hence why you said you felt humiliated (even though you had no idea what their private lives were like or how you actually measured up to them in pleasing her (unless they specifically told you)). This is why for a lotof guys, they don't have this feeling for widows. It's very different, because the circumstances in which she is no longer in a relationship is different, and it wasn't because of promiscuity or some kind of trivial issue that she is no longer in a relationship. So it's very rare to hear of a man talk about retroactive jealosy if he does marry/date a widow.

[@TheMMSpirit]

@@billy503 "Dejection of the soul" Thank you, you've a gift of communication I lack, for that describes the feeling accurately.

[@jkuhede]

​@@billy503 would still care if she is a widow and no I don't think measuring up is something men worry about. It's just the woman thinking of you as a safe bet

[@ChessTube100]

Good for you that you married a virgin. It is better than to get Chad's leftovers

[@chrisperez767]

Very well said! Spot on.

[@ManTalks]

Appreciate it. More to come

[@gottrekk5798]

The BIG problem is when you have kids and 10+ years of marriage and suddenly your wife doesn't want to have sex with you but you know that she didn't have any problem to have sex with guys who gave her absolutely nothing. This is one of the biggest marriage killer.

[@GillAgainsIsland12]

But that was the past. You think she wants to have sex with them again? You’re torturing yourself for nothing. People change over time and experiences. Your present problems with your wife have nothing to do with her past sexual experiences. If you think so then go to a marriage counselor before you torture her and she asks for a divorce.

[@gottrekk5798]

@@GillAgainsIsland12 it's just an example that I know of from real life. The point is, you know for sure that you are not her first choice, she only settled down to have kids. Obviously she doesn't love you or she's not attracted to you as she was to her previous partners, she's an alpha widow. The marriage is over, no amount of therapy can change it.

[@paragonofgood]

​@@gottrekk5798Hmm, if a husband isn't fuckable anymore, I do not blame the wife for being completely disinterested in sex.

[@Cocoisagordonsetter]

@@gottrekk5798 You're not her first choice????/ BOOO FRIGGIN WHO. Dude, did you not have crushes at 14????? Very few people marry who they dated in middle school or high school. If they do, those things often flop because life is freaking hard and expensive. It's even harder on people who get married young.

[@gottrekk5798]

@@Cocoisagordonsetter the chance of a successful marriage is the same for people in high school as for people 30+. The difference is that young people are together because they want to, because they love each other. People 30+ have baggage and they stay together because of kids and for financial reasons.

[@cathoderay305]

The concern should be the increased likelihood of venereal disease for those with high body counts. Women should be just as concerned about men having a high body count for the same reason. Also, it reflects on one's character. A person who has had multiple partners and frequently short-term partners is statistically more likely to consider sex to be a concern quite separate from the bonds of a relationship and more likely to stray whenever a more attractive partner becomes available, even if only briefly because "I don't love him/her, it was just about the sex. I love you!".

[@margaretcampbell2681]

There certainly is that risk. If a man has to find any woman to have sex with then I’m certainly not interested

[@cathoderay305]

@@margaretcampbell2681 Than you demonstrate good judgement.

[@danielb7253]

I agree with this but it's for mainly men under 45. I"m 50 and I don't chase. the lady's mind is what gets me to stay...

[@margaretcampbell2681]

@@danielb7253 Yes that is the mature approach. When I was quite young and due molestation as a child, I had a high body count. I realised that this was unhealthy and stopped this behaviour at 25. Now being much older and having had a lot of treatment I have a very high quality man who appreciates me for my mind and spirit. He knows my background in regards to the high body count and why this happened, that it really was a result of the childhood sexual abuse. We are both older people now and I think as one gets older one can see things differently. 😌

[@RoblEsquire]

You should listen to him again.... the crux of the debate is really @8:30 mark. The risk of venereal disease is so low that most people don't even think about it, so it always amazes me when people make the same statements you did.

[@joshuathompson6690]

Sexual history doesn't 100% define people but its definitely important to talk about. People just need to be honest with each other and stop coming up with excuses to not tell the truth.

[@ssing7113]

It ain’t 100% but it shows your character. Behavior. Morals. Standards and thought process. Why employers check work and criminal history…. Weeds out the bad one very quickly

[@chadcadsonvii5258]

Yes, yes it does. It she's a hoe she's a hoe. It's your divorce bro, enjoy!

[@_sarpa]

@@ssing7113 it's immoral to have this repulsive, reactionary attitude (which must be annihilated, and that is thankfully happening to a degree)

[@davepazz580]

@@_sarpa No, it's called having actual common sense...

[@_sarpa]

@@davepazz580 yeah, like opposing abolitionism some time ago

[@leleherbst6627]

I don't know if there is already a comment on this but as a woman with a promiscious phase after my first heartbreak I'm wondering how I can really leave my past behind. After I realized being promiscuous does not help me to get over my first boyfriend, I took a 2 year break from dating. This phase is haunting me, cause it seems like there's nothing I could do about it to make it any better or change anything cause I'll be judged for it anyway. Even my last boyfriend broke up with me because he could not handle it, although he said he loved me very deeply. I have always been loyal, faithful and caring in my relationships and gave all my heart into it. I'm just lost and don't know what to do about it...

[@thejollyroger9281]

Everyone else may have other advice for you, but this is mine. I have a rule in dating. It’s called “don’t ask, don’t tell”. Don’t ask me what I’ve done, and don’t tell me what you’ve done. Whatever sexual encounters I had or you have had is not relevant to the present and therefore unnecessary to have a deep conversation about. You need to learn to forgive yourself for it, but don’t make it a main point of discussion with any future partners. When you get with someone, assume they aren’t a virgin unless they specifically tell you they are. Believe me, they will sooner or later. If they ask you if you’ve ever been with anyone, it’s okay to say yes, but set a boundary that you don’t feel comfortable talking about the past relationships. Your encounters may not have been in relationships, but your partner doesn’t need to know that either. You aren’t lying. If they are any person worth keeping, they’ll respect that there are some things you don’t want to talk about. An insecure man will probably recognize this as shame and push for details. Take it as a red flag. The only exception I ever give to the rule is if a particular experience has a serious relevancy to an issue currently happening (psychological trauma or health concerns). And even then, we don’t discuss the gory details because that’s not what is important to the problem you see now.

[@vkdeen7570]

okay, the truth of matter is from a guys perspective, it is always going to matter. u need to make sure u are truly over it. because these phases damage women really badly and make it hard to bond with good guys. I would move to a different area if u haven't already. completely sever all links social media or otherwise to any guys u f'd or friends of them. I don't generally advocate lying, but if u want practical results, I'd avoid talking about it. or answer vague ish if u must. like, "I was in a long relationship with my first bf he broke my heart, I dated a few casually after but then took a break for my studies. I always prefer committed relationships." the next important thing is to ensure you're really loyal to any new (good) bf. like insanely loyal and caring. he needs to know 100% that ur not even gonna entertain another guy while with him. no close male friends, minimal social media, no reply to every and any dm slide etc etc u need to show u are wife material and that u make his life immeasurably better. be in shape make good effort be really feminine etc etc u need to make sure everything else is on point the final part is status and respect. he needs to feel like he's the most important guy to u the most important guy you've ever been with (without telling him u've been with loads). so, for example, if he says, "Can we try this in bed?" For godsakes, don't say "oh yea I've done that with several other guys before," lol be like "yea sure I'd love to try that with (or for) u".. see the difference? one puts him at the centre, and the other makes him seem just like another one in line. he needs to feel like u value experiences with him above all others. don't beat yourself up too much. there's nothing u can do now about it except move forward. it's not over for u but u just have to play smarter and show value. also maybe look to build with a guy more than get a ready made one. someone u build with someone u accepted flaws and rough edges is more likely to forgive yours. some 6 foot gigachad is gonna show u little mercy and some experienced player is gonna smell your past on u and use u. a less experienced more naive guy is less likely to and more likely to give u that strong chance to build together

[@nromashchenko]

@@thejollyroger9281tbh this is about as fair as if your man suggests you "Don't ask me about our future, and don't tell me what you want in future. Whether is it going to be serious or not, will we ever get married/have children or not, it is not relevant to the present and therefore unnecessary to have a deep conversation about." And then "only an insecure woman will push for details about marriage, and that is a red flag". You might not have understood what the guy in the video said...

[@stevet7506]

Good for you for being honest. And honestly, most guys now expect that women have higher body counts. As long as it is below 25 you should be ok. Most guys are accepting. Probably more than they would like because we understand there is less choice. You dint have to be completely honest. But certainly it's about men feeling like they are special to you. Lots of men in your past doesn't do that per say, but seriously don't talk much about it if at all, and really focus on putting him at the center of your world.

[@vkdeen7570]

just to be 100% clear. I don't advocate lying but trying to be vague and make him the centre and make yourself valuable in other areas of feminity and things that males find attractive. if someone really insists on knowing, and it could get serious do tell them a truthful range and hope they accept it. wouldn't wanna marry someone and them find out later. that's too deceptive and deceitful

[@JaeCi-sh6fx]

So the gender known for spending hours upon hours shopping, comparing things endlessly and selecting the best deal, is trying to convince others that their past doesn’t matter? 😂 Nevermind that I’ve heard the gossip from both my guy friends about the comparisons their girlfriends have made about them compared to their previous lovers, as well as the gossip straight out of the mouth of my own girl friends because they trusted me because I posed as progressive minded during my party years. Make no mistake… everyone is comparing, simply by having a memory. Once you know, you’ve already made the comparison. As lewd as one might assume male locker room talk is, it is equally lewd on the female end. Patterns of behavior are unfortunately an important thing to assess. People tend to do what they’ve always done. Intention and action don’t always align. People lie, even to themselves, all the time

[@sanjeevsinghrajput6512]

You have well explained and you were able to break the piece of ice so easily and very clearly...... However, I am happy to know that the fact that women's past definitely definitely matters for sure and I would always wants to be the first pick....Not the 2nd or the 3rd one. Thank you

[@JessB009]

The guys defending them being that way and not the women is too hilarious. I can’t 😂

[@annatar6453]

It’s the same reason why employers do a criminal background check on potential employees

[@andersnielsen6044]

having an active sexlife is not a crime..

[@annatar6453]

@@andersnielsen6044 it’s an analogy. A criminal employee can possibly screw up your business just like a 304 girlfriend can possibly screw up your relationship. It’s about mitigating risk.

[@timmytee734]

​@@annatar6453What are you talking about? This isn't about cheating. Put your ego and low self esteem away. You watch dirty p o r n so what's your point on women's ex partners and morals?

[@andersnielsen6044]

@@annatar6453 It is just you showing off your insecurities with adult and independent women. That is really all it is. Calling women with an active sexlife "304's" is just pure misogyny.

[@annatar6453]

@@andersnielsen6044 you can use all the shaming language you want by calling me insecure and misogynistic, but it is not going to change biology. Males of a species will not help the female raise offspring if she mated with other males. A promiscuous female jeopardizes the father’s paternity. The male being repulsed and not wanting to commit to promiscuous females, is an anti-cuckold mechanism instilled into males through evolution. You are right, having an active s3x life is not a crime but men do not have to accept that in a woman. Men can have any standard and preference we like, just like women can. Women like you are mad at this preference of men’s because it puts accountability and responsibility on women, which women are not used to doing. Women can do whatever they want and so can men. Every action has consequences and you cannot turn back time. You have to live with the consequences. You can be a 304 if you want but don’t cry later in life when men don’t want to be in a relationship with you. You chose your bed, now sleep in it.

[@imoutbye]

i think this was well explained. curious on thoughts. she had high body count before late 20s and getting married. like, 70 or so. now mid 40s and we’re both divorced but in to each other. should i run?

[@yaboiinard5391]

22 and subscribed best analogy I couldn’t explain until now🎉

[@juliaarambula3153]

As a woman I can agree to a man not wanting a promiscuous relationship woman. But don’t kid yourself men, quality women who are not promiscuous do NOT want a promiscuous man. Promiscuity in men and women is unhealthy and risky. Carrying viruses and back bacteria and mental issues. If you can’t control that then don’t expect the same from the other person.

[@davepazz580]

Men can't be "promiscuous" because men don't control access to sex... women do.

[@FlamingCockatiel]

Wonderfully put.

[@Emptytopfloor]

@@davepazz580 delulu

[@davepazz580]

@@Emptytopfloor same to you...

[@Emptytopfloor]

@@davepazz580 what was your comment?

[@aalvarez305]

Great breakdown. I never understood how to respond to the “double-standard” argument. Moreover, it helps explains why women’s sexual liberation has been so damaging when one realizes that men did not accept “commitment”liberation in return.

[@sarahrobertson634]

Only chaste men can demand chaste women.

[@johngalt6838]

@@sarahrobertson634 Not true...promiscuous, powerful men can get chaste and promiscuous women. Demanding something carries no weight. These are rules of nature.

[@sarahrobertson634]

@@johngalt6838 Those men are the very seldom exception, according to natural law. They've got to defeat every male below them, which is quite rare and difficult. And chaste women are quite good at getting their recreation subtly. Nature dictates that women are very good at keeping secrets from their egotistical husbands.😘

[@johngalt6838]

@@sarahrobertson634 That's what I said.....and you're saying women will still cheat on them which would not make them chaste. Most women aren't.

[@johngalt6838]

@@sarahrobertson634 Those are the men most women go for btw. These guys rotate through them and the average women gets alpha widowed.

[@lilcutthroat_]

Very important.

[@AxelFoley-sb5re]

Very cool points

[@gherkinavoider4452]

Holy fuck this has made me feel so fucking validated in my argument and reason for ending my relationship. Thank you

[@jacqqulen9106]

Just go all the way or only do the deed when you're married. Problem solved.

[@erica2105]

Aaaah this explains a lot...

[@user-fu5hb4il8x]

There are no double standards. Women judge other promiscuous women the same way that men do. For the most part men don't judge promiscuous men the same way. It's seen as an accolade by other men because we know how hard it is to get a much sex as we'd like.

[@davepazz580]

Not only that... women are the ones that keep "rewarding" the same men over and over with more sexual options, *they* are the ones signaling through their own actions that it's ok for men to have many sexual partners in his past, not men.

[@reginasemenenko148]

I'm glad my family raised my brothers and me the same way.

[@iamshakuri]

women are also socialized by patriarchy.

[@quonyoung1280]

Because you have to share that woman spiritually with all those other men.😊

[@erinwhipple4666]

No you don’t 😂 I didn’t lose my virginity to my husband and no man before him even comes close to comparing to him. I don’t think about them at all.

[@quonyoung1280]

@@erinwhipple4666 lol 🤣 thats what they all say, you just dont understand, some people cannot accept this because of their circumstances, the more additional lovers the worst it gets, this is why god warns against fornication and adultery, to say otherwise is to contradict the holy scriptures and express ones disbelief in god.😑

[@JonA-ih5he]

@@quonyoung1280 I sort of agree with you but the truth is alot of people don't believe in God so it doesn't matter to them what the Bible or Quran or whatever other scriptures may say

[@quonyoung1280]

​@@JonA-ih5he lol🤣 their are alot of laws i dont believe in but i bet if i start violating them somebody is going to hold me accountable, thats the same way the laws of god or nature work.😉

[@IchGluckspilz445]

​@@erinwhipple4666if a man nuts inside of you, it stays inside you forever. search microchimerism. the semen penetrates the blood brain barrier.

[@oeckstei]

I think our culture of modern dating in the west is such that we should be able to do whatever we want and demand that people accept us and our past. Their is no care for what our future partners may or may not find attractive or how our past may impact us.

[@stephaniepersin4222]

Nobody has a right to force themselves on others if they don’t want someone who will stick it in any puzzy available.

[@chadcadsonvii5258]

Tell me you're hoe, without telling me you're a hoe.

[@andersnielsen6044]

I fully agree. It is only in these old school patriarchal societies like USA that this is even an issue. Here in the developed part of the world - this has not been an issue since the 50's.

[@Dana_inc]

I feel sorry for you because no one is perfect not even virgins I could tell you stories that other women at work told me what they did it’s totally unbelievable. I was in my early 20’s!

[@allAdvise727]

I was seeing this girl since a year we are together, we both shared very good loving bond with each other she is very much fond of me❤ but out of nowhere she is talking to a man who is older age (45) for about month now and you know what happened that man purposely shared all his text messages involving kissing talks etc and he wants me to go away from her.. And when I saw the texts it just killed me from inside, should I continue with my gf or not, because after knowing this I'm feeling a bit different for my gf and if I do continue with her I'll loose the self-respect for me in my own eyes.. we both are in our early 20's.. This older man is trying to destroy my relationship.. I'm very confused ( Anybody can give their suggestion who are reading )

[@antoniac1234]

Most people don't have that many partners, period. People with a large number are a statistical minority. What we've got here are people projecting their own ideas of what life is like for women. This idea women can get laid easily is false. It depends on the woman. There is a minority of women who can get sex with little effort. Most women don't have men in their DM's. That's not how it works. Online dating is not real life. Most people don't even use OLD apps. What I'm getting here is that men constantly project the experiences of attractive women onto all women. Life isn't like that. I'm ugly and have been so all my life therefore my experience is very different. Do you think men are knocking down the door of a divorced, old, ugly woman with a disabled child? Do you think they are clamoring to be with your average mid-age fat woman? No, they are not. And that's fine. We all can do what we want with our lives. If you don't want someone who has slept with a lot of people, just say that. You don't have to justify yourself.

[@Straga_Severa]

> People with a large number are a statistical minority. Yes, that's why the amount of men who didn't have sex in the last year outnumbers the amount of women who didn't have it 2 to 1. > This idea women can get laid easily is false. It is completely true. You CAN get laid easily. You CAN use OLD for hookups. The fact that you decide not to do it does not mean it is not easy for you, it just means you choose to not do the easy thing. If you do not engage in this hookup culture - great. But you cannot disprove that women CAN get laid easily.

[@antoniac1234]

@@Straga_Severa "But you cannot disprove that women CAN get laid easily." I assume you have a reading comprehension problem. Also, you can't ask people to prove a negative - that's a fallacious argument. I argued the idea most women can get laid easily is incorrect. Of course, some women can easily find a sex partner if they want that. Most women want sex within the context of a relationship. If they cannot get a relationship then they can't have sex. Most women cannot easily demand commitment from men. They aren't that good-looking. No, I can't just get on an OLD app and find a man who would want to be with me. That's not how life works. I'm ugly and old. I would have to accept mistreatment and disrespect from anyone who would take me as I am considered "low status" by men. Men treat physically unattractive women like shit even if they are ugly as hell too. You can find scientific research showing that men tend to be more abusive to women who are considered unattractive. It is a bad idea for any woman who is considered physically unattractive to be in a relationship with any man - the risk is too high. That is not a good deal and I don't want that, therefore I can't just go get laid. Stop projecting your strange worldview onto all women. Plenty of women are single because they are not attractive enough to be wanted. The word "spinster" exists for a reason. Most women don't spend their days being hit on or propositioned. Your first point is a non-sequitur. It is factually correct to say most people do not have that many partners. The data bears out over and over. Arguing about a statistical minority is a waste of time. People who have a lot of sexual partners tend to have other psychological issues that drive them toward that behavior. They would not be able to commit even if they had never slept with anyone at all in their life. There are more people who are the latter kind of troubled soul.

[@Straga_Severa]

@@antoniac1234 > I assume you have a reading comprehension problem. Also, you can't ask people to prove a negative - that's a fallacious argument. Your assumption is wrong. And it is you who claimed the negative ("women cannot"), therefore, you need to prove this negative. Let's not get into the bad-faith arguing, shall we? Let's focus on the one point at a time, so we don't get lost. > Of course, some women can easily find a sex partner if they want that. Most women want sex within the context of a relationship. You said that "This idea women can get laid easily is false" You did not say that "Women cannot get on-demand sex with the perfect and commiting partner easily". We are talking about the ability to get sex, not the ability to get sex in the way they would ideally prefer to do it. What women _want_ is irrelevant in the context of the discussion. What relevant is what women _can_ do. And all women CAN get on-demand sex - 200-kg women get hundreds of matches, 60-year-old women get hundreds of matches. There are multiple experiments that prove that. Women cannot get sex with the ideal circumstances, I'm not arguing about that. But do you agree that women can do it in non-ideal circumstances? Yes or no?

[@antoniac1234]

@@Straga_Severa You are completely ignoring that women aren't men. They do want sex outside of "non-ideal circumstances". Stop projecting your worldview onto women. It is tiring.

[@53strat55]

Trust me, I know allot of ugly girls who are like 5/6's who sleep around with allot of guys because they are insecure and need validation. If they have a decent body or whatever with a ugly face. Trust me, guys will fuck them. Guys lower their value for sex.

[@melaniea8239]

For my part, I can tell the following: I have entered dating and relationships always with the intention of finding out if a person is the right one for me, or having the impression / the hope that this guy could be "the one". Guess what - sometimes things just do not work out. It is trial and error. Also: you may think that the love of your life could be somewhere out there. But if you do not go outside and date people, you may never find out. I am in a very fulfilling relationship now, and obviously I wish I had got to know him wayyyyy earlier - on the other hand, we had lived on different sides of the country before, AND we both had a lot of grow-up to do. And now we are very good versions of ourselves. So realistically, there was no chance we could have met before. We both have learned and grown from past relationships, we now know what we want, what we like, and what we do NOT want and like. An although not all experiences were nice, I am glad that I got to learn and grow from these experiences. We both are who we are because of all that. And are able to talk about those past relationships and sexual partners in a heathly way, because communication is key ;)

[@billy503]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with meeting people and dating, but the problem is that way too many women are willing to put it out for men because those men give them the "tingles", or in some cases, women are willing to experiment with other women just to see if they "like it", and then when they finally get to a point where they want to settle down, they have a high notch count, are beyond the years of being able to start a family, and carry a ton of baggage with them. In turn, now the men who do not have a high notch count, do not carry as much baggage, and has put in the time to work on himself and try to establish himself, finds that all the women around his age are no longer suitable for him. It's nice that you found someone and managed to make it work, but for most guys, the question arises: did you have to bed each partner to find out that it wasn't a relationship meant for the long haul?

[@goby1764]

Women say shit like this after fucking 200 guys lol

[@semperfidelis6943]

I think this is a good analysis… conversely how is a man with many many previous sexual partners viewed? Do women feel this is situation is undesirable OR does it enhance interest in him because he is seen as a sexually desirable amongst other woman???

[@stephaniepersin4222]

It’s a turn off to women who are conservative socially.

[@ineedhoez]

A man being attractive to other women is good. However, women don't normally include a man's sexually experience as an factor in whether or not they like him. We don't measure a man by his sexual conquests. Only men treat sexually conquest as a demonstration of manhood. It only comes up if he is a man whore or if you are super conservative and the woman wants a virgin or something. It is not part of our thought process, unless it relates to some defect. If there is any bias against men with limited experience, it is related to the fact that they are usually socially awkward, insecure, etc. The inexperience is caused by personality or attractiveness defects.

[@ssing7113]

They don’t care as much because they are after something different. They aren’t after sexual purity as they are commitment. Resources. Time. Attention. Validation. Love. Approval. Competent. Discipline. Hard worker. Problem solver. Height. Status. It’s not high up on their list as because men it’s usually: Purity. Youth. Beauty. Are at the top. And yea you can throw in things like loyalty and respect but a man wants SEXXXXXXXXX women want potential and follow through. Men want a hot young thang. Simply put. 😂

[@davepazz580]

From my own experience, I've noticed that once a woman is seriously into a man, she will *expect* him to have a high body count and may even be disappointed to learn he actually doesn't have one... There are a few factors at play here, but much of it has to do with the fact that women need to have the attraction they feel for a man "validated" by other women... they *never* want to be the only ones who find a certain man attractive or desirable, because that would raise doubts about her ability to spot a valuable male. It's like a man walking into a club alone vs. walking accompanied by several women... alone, he will be lucky if any woman at the club even notices he's alive, most likely he'll remain invisible to the women there for the rest of the night. But walking in with a group of women accompanying him, the interest of the other women at the club gets *immediately* triggered... they'll be finding excuses to come to that man's group and find out more about him. So when a man she is totally into reveals he is a virgin or has never even had a real dating life at all, her mind will naturally assume "This means he has no value at all, because no other women actually want him..." and it's a letdown often times. Another key difference here is that a man's body is *not* the main asset that a woman is looking for in a relationship... it's his financial ability and social status that separates him from the countless other available men around. Women know they can get sex from just about any man they wish (since women control access to sex), so there is no sense of "accomplishment" in this... what they instead want is to permanently land a choice man that will *elevate* their lives financially and socially - his physical body's "purity" plays absolutely no role in these requirements she's looking for whatsoever. This is the total *opposite* of what men look for in women... a woman's body *is* her main asset in the relationship first and foremost, so it should come as no surprise that how she used that body in the past bears direct relevance to a potential male partner today.

[@TGP109]

I wouldn't want a man-whore, it's just that the most desirable men often do have a body count that's too high.

[@steph6109]

Its not quite comparable. The std and pregnancy risk is closer to a man taking out a high loan to finance a woman's lifestyle. Both carry high risk and potential baggage when it goes wrong. Also, women don't value commitment from men because it's hard to get. It's because it necessary for children. There's a lot of comparing men's bodily 'needs' to female life-changing guarding strategies

[@sarahrobertson634]

Men don't have needs, they have wants. Women have needs.

[@PhantomCookie87]

@@sarahrobertson634 us men have plenty of needs. You don't get to speak for us.

[@sarahrobertson634]

@@PhantomCookie87 Ahh, but I do. I know you people better than you know yourself. Check out Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. What women are after are first rank necessities. What men are after ranks three tiers down.

[@PhantomCookie87]

@@sarahrobertson634 said the man hating feminazi^. I could care less what your opinion is. You've already hit the wall and now your beginning to realize that no truly good men want you. You're used and worn out. Accept it and move on.

[@starlightsakuga]

@@sarahrobertson634 I checked it out and what was your point, that women don't need basic necessities such as food, water, and clothing? good luck getting " spiritually actualized" when you can't even feed yourself and who are you speak for other men?

[@georgecisneros5737]

Do any findings show that there is a qualitative difference in the morality and self respect of a woman depending not so much on just body count, but what percentage were because there was a real relationship and how what percentage of the total were one night stands or first date ending in sex?

[@hpFLYBOY89]

Not exactly that, but there are findings that show higher body counts(be it from casual hookups/fwb or one night stands/short term relationships) destroys a person's ability to form lasting emotional bonds with a partner. And this effects women more so than men. And once the damage is done it can't really be repaired.

[@jacolisedebeer7358]

Jaysus I can't with most of these comments 🤦🏼‍♀️ Clearly I'm in the twilight zone 🙄

[@tastyparts]

Right dudes have lost their minds out here.

[@TimothyNyota]

Did you steal this content from Psychacks?

[@JewTube001]

lol

[@palomagarvia427]

Thank you! I think it’s good to learn this analogy for women! Because we don’t get it😅

[@JIX9ISLER1986]

a better one is - how would you feel if you fiancé proposed to you with a ring from a pawn shop.....the ring was relatively cheap and it belonged to a divorced couple before you......would you accept that ring and proposal ? I would argue most women would be offended same is true for men being asked to marry a woman with a sexual past

[@MsStonedAgin]

@@JIX9ISLER1986 ... I wouldn't care, it's just a ring lol. I think the analogies in the video are better.

[@JIX9ISLER1986]

@@MsStonedAgin good for you. my point stands

[@gregorylyon1004]

Women are at more risk than men are. Everything travels outward into the woman.

[@mitsubachi6865]

​@@JIX9ISLER1986I bought my own : problem solved.

[@thomasbrouwer2771]

Great take and an insightful one

[@episteme666]

It's become trendy to sleep with almost everyone you meet and view it as a part of personal development. Do you really need to sleep around to find yourself? People who couldn't be permanent in anyone's life talk about it as if it was their choice. No matter where you go in the world, a woman's past is important to most men. The significance varies from man to man, but it's always considered. If a man doesn't question a woman's past at all, it's more likely that he sees her as a short-term amusement rather than him having a ''modern'' mindset. Questioning the past is "insignificant" and "insecure" according to those with a troubled past, but it's important for those with a clean past (not neccesarily talking about virginity). The past matters. No one wants to see someone who has lived through everything in a porn movie with every man as the mother of their child. Your partner's past may be unimportant up to a point, but the past of the person you're considering marrying is significant in many ways. If you've lived according to certain principles (I'm an atheist btw), no one wants to marry someone who has done everything, regardless of gender.

[@denesejamerson2356]

I'm more interested in how many children a guy has. Get tested for STDs as most of us over 30 yrs have a "body count".

[@bobbyp3212]

I think this was the best analogy I've heard regarding the topic. My previous relationship ended not totally due to this, but it played a large part in my decision. She was my first, I was not hers by a relatively considerable amount. I tried hard to supress the feelings but I could not. Now when I reflect it was because women have the burden of choice when it comes to sex. And the circumstances around who and why they sleep with someone matters to me. I felt that if she was willing to sleep with x number of men due to momentary passion, why was I investing resources to get something that some other man got for free or little effort? I think it was a question of what was her standard of entry ?( sorry to be crude) There should be some consistency regarding that choice. I think if one is trying in earnest to find a husband and marrying and it not working, then that is justifiable, but ons, casual relationships, or flings are red flags in my understanding.

[@TGP109]

What ''resources'' were you investing, pray tell?

[@lynnferry291]

@bobbyp3212 You make it sound like you were ONLY interested in her for sex. Doesn't love come into play at all for you? Weren't you spending money on dates trying to get to know her? Do you think women sit around calculating how much money a man has spent on them and when it reaches some specific amount it's ok to have sex with them?

[@bobbyp3212]

@TGP109 It all depends on ones value system regarding sex. I'll use an analogy to help provide context to what I meant about resources. Imagine ones sexuality as a priceless, one of a kind vintage bottle of wine. Each person's "wine" is unique to themselves, and one has the freedom to enjoy that wine however they decide. Now, if Person A acknowledges the priceless nature of that wine, they understand that it can't be opened and experienced for just any meal or occasion. Person A decides that for that wine to be fully earned, respected, and appreciated, it deserves the appropriate conditions ( a long term commited relationship or even more ideal ,waiting until marriage) Person A decides the wine deserves a proper meal to be paired with. An expensive steak, proper glassware , fancy setting, etc. In order to prepare those conditions, Person A exerts resources for it. ( Economically, emotionally, spiritually, and also time) Essentially sacrificing for it. Now, Person B values that same wine differently. They do not feel the above conditions are necessary for the wine to be experienced and open and allow it to be experienced for whatever meal or occasion they personally see fit. Person A and Person B are valuing the same wine in an incompatible way. If person A is willing to honor that wine with expending resouces and ensuring the proper conditions for its experience and learns that person B has chosen not to value it in the same way, it is reasonable for person A to feel undervalued. The main point here is exclusivity. Person A is not exerting "resources" setting the stage for an expensive meal for just anyone. They want to share a novel experience with one person or as few people as possible. However , Person B has chosen to share that experience with a higher number of people regardless of the resources expended on it. There is a basic incompatibility of values between persons A and B. Why would person A buy a steak dinner for person B when Person B may have settled ( at various times) for a hamburger instead? Yes, person B would enjoy and appreciate the steak, but they have shown in the past that they would settle for less.

[@bobbyp3212]

@lynnferry291 It's actually contrary to what you have said, as I loved and cared for my ex a lot. However, if one believes that sex and love are separate things, then it really does not matter how much money, dates, or time one invests in the other for sex. If one is willing to have x number of casual partners and then decides at some point that they want one to be their "exclusive" partner, it would mean that sex is just sex for them. It's just a physical act that can be emotional /spiritual whenever one decides it to be. It's arbitrary. But if you believe that sex and love are on equal footing, then your approach to it changes. In my personal view sex creates a physical, emotional, and spiritual bond that is unique from any other relationship and has a profound level of exclusivity in its nature. Scientifically its proven that a persons brain chemistry, mood, and emotions are linked to the partner they are sleeping with, so its not just a physical act for pleasure. You are biologically emotionally and spiritually attached to them. There is gravity associated with a decision to sleep with someone. I did spend quite a bit on my ex by my own choice ( i think in any committed relationship that is a requirement, so im not complaining). And I do not assume the reasoning to why women decide to sleep with who they do, but I do take actions into account, and actions are a reflection of ones values. To be honest, I take full responsibility for my actions in that relationship. It wasn't ny ex's fault at all. If anything I went agaisnt my own values and should have known better, but since I chose to be in that relationship i'm sharing my perspective on how different views on the value of sex can cause incompatibilties and eventually breakdown in a relationship.

[@davepazz580]

@@TGP109 Time, energy and emotional resources...

[@yaahqappaadaikkalam7971]

The quantitative and qualitative values of life +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Quickly, he called to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything-all she had to live on." In life what comes out of the heart through blood and sweat is qualitative.. What is generated superficially is known as quantitative... Although both must go hand in hand the qualitative stands taller than the quantitative according to Wisdom...

[@zenli1407]

I wouldn't want to date a man who thinks highly of me just because I haven’t slept with anyone, but I don't want to date a man who would think less of me because I've slept with a lot of guys either. I just want someone to know me and understand me as a person before we jump into anything like that.

[@julisakyani6306]

Congratulations you are: 🎉A NORMAL PERSON 😂 (i dont know why men dont get this)

[@JIX9ISLER1986]

" wouldn't want to date a man who thinks highly of me just because I haven’t slept with anyone, but I don't want to date a man who would think less of me because I've slept with a lot of guys either. " You have flawed logic or lack thereof a virgin woman is far more valuable than a woman with a high body count the same way a man making 20k per year is less valuable than a man making 100k per year

[@JIX9ISLER1986]

@@julisakyani6306 because its not reality - marriage minded Men will ALWAYS view a virgin woman as more valuable than a woman with a sexual past the same way women will ALWAYS view a man with a higher income as more valuable as long as a mans income matters a woman body matters...its really that simple

[@53strat55]

Yeah goodluck with finding that, bet you have a high body count.

[@p19shelt]

Biology and evolution has entered the chat.

[@Nonya12608]

Any man who judges his partners "body count" (disgusting term), but is fine with the fact he that he has contributed to the count of others, is a hypocrite, and isn't worth having.

[@Rainer125]

But women are the gatekeepers of sex and only have sex with the few top % of men. The top 5% of guys all have a bodycount of 30+ while the bottom 60% is like 0-3

[@angelasmreiki]

Well example 1 doesn't shock me; as for the 2nd one, that doesnt work: the man doesnt give the commitment he gave others whilst the woman gives sex as she did before..how is that even comparable?

[@davepazz580]

It is comparable... The man "rewarded" the prior woman more than the current one by the things he gave/did for her...

[@Tiffany90-gb2md]

Thank you...That video was so helpful.. I had a friend who wanted to marry me...He is 20 years older... It took me ages to feel comfortable around him.. When he found out I had a great sex life was my exes he withdrew from me and felt I wasn't expressing my sexuality with him... My ex was 5 years younger...he use to pick me up on the bench and give me an amazing wild time....he used to eat me up .. I can't imagine the man who is 20 years older satisfying me like this but the man still has wonderful qualities... Maybe he can 😊 I should pray about this..lol I'm sure he is amazing at it...I want to explore with him...I need to kiss him more 😅

[@JDoggNation]

Interesting. Is this difference created by society or biological and does it matter?

[@dadwisdom25]

My opinion is that it's biological reinforced subconsciously by society

[@ineedhoez]

Definitely by society. Because prior to the 1950s, both men and women were viewed being immoral moral for being unchaste.

[@aawillma]

The evidence that it's biological doesn't pan out when you consider gay people. The vast overwhelming majority of whom do not give a piss in a rainstorm about their partner's body count.

[@candaceranee2587]

Society

[@dixbowman3452]

It's very simple. Your past is my Present and Future if we get married. So yeah we care about it.

[@sarahrobertson634]

Your past matters as well. Better be chaste.

[@dixbowman3452]

@@sarahrobertson634 yes. People are too nonchalant these days. I ask for the same courtesy. My virginity for hers.

[@sarahrobertson634]

@Gabo H You don't know what most women care about. We do not want a man with a promiscuous past, due to cheating concerns. You're ignorant and confident about it. Terrible combination.

[@ineedhoez]

​@Gabo H That's what you're wrong. That's the society that keeps telling you that.

[@p19shelt]

​@@sarahrobertson634woman can get sex easier than men.

[@EyeOfScrutiny]

The analogies are terrific.

[@JohannesYtterstrom]

Question to women: Say a man has a high "body count" (he has had sex with a big amount of women). Do YOU find that attractive? Say you meet someone you really like. You have sex and he is good in bed. A bit later you see that all kinds of women seem to know him and you ask: "How many did you have sex with?". He says.. "About 50-60 different women. Can't be sure". Is that attractive to you as a woman? If so, why? I can understand the concept of having a man that knows what he is doing and not having to act like a "sexual teacher" when you are of a certain age but how is a big number of body count attractive? Can women and men be so different about this?

[@zenli1407]

I don't know about other women but I don't find that attractive at all. If a guy tells me they have slept with 50 other girls he's probably a player

[@RG-hf4et]

No woman out there wants a guy with a high body count. That says to me the guy is a player & only looking to get laid & most likely not capable of a serious relationship with anyone. @Andrew Friend. Women don't lie about stuff like this, especially here on YT, where you can be anonymous. I wouldn't knowingly ever go near a guy with a high body count.

[@ineedhoez]

​@@melchiormagni No. Only men see sexual conquest as a sign of masculinity. This goes back to the ealry days when only men with resources got to mate. Once you got enough resources, you could procure a wife. Since the cost of procuring a wife is more than the average man can afford, they've adopted a subculture that circumvents the resources Since most modern men cannot meet the financial requirements, they've adopted a sub culture that uses sexual conquest as the new standard for manhood. I get actually be a protector and provider, so how can I look like one? It is essentially conspicuous consumption. This sub culture creates homosocial behavioral expectations of how to perform masculinity. Now, What I will say is that That there are a lot of correlations to unpack... 1. Attractive men can have sex whenever. Women don't like men more because they've had a lot of sex, they like attractive guys. Attractive men have a lot of sex. Correlation, not causation. 2. Unattractive guys, don't have a lot of sex. A big turn off to women is a man with no sense of self. Essentially, a man who has no self esteem and lacks confidence. For men, they base their self esteem on getting women. If they cant get women, they have no self esteem and are unattractive. Women are not attracted to them. The key would be to base your self esteem on something other than getting sex. That way, you could be confident (confidence is based on comptency) and attract women. This would also eliminate the the need you to think that sex is the grand prize. You won't feel such a sense of accomplishment because your identity isn't based on it. Hence, no need to mate guard by reducing sperm competition. You want women's value to be based on sex because that is what you've decided yours is. You can't be special if other men have had her cookie. 😂😂😂. Seriously. Wtf? You already know you can't meet the actual protection and provision requirements of manhood, which is what would actually make you special.

[@ElsieShiro]

very unattractive

[@chadcadsonvii5258]

@@aufache at 29 you're going to her to drop those standards.

[@HelloOki]

If a man has had past sexual relationships I am going to judge him, maybe even dump him

[@davepazz580]

So you're saying you don't want attractive men?

[@HelloOki]

Im saying is don't want used up goods. Promiscuous men arent attractive wtf@@davepazz580

[@davepazz580]

Oh right, they aren't attractive... that's how they ended up with so many women in their past? Nice try though!

[@navazmerchant3241]

It's easy for a man to get sex or a woman to??? Answer this first

[@kruggyy]

@@davepazz580there are attractive men that don’t give it away so easily because they have self-control

[@cvelasre]

I suffered from this and the way I overcame it was talking to my girlfriend. She explained and kind of gave me some kind of evidence that she was serious on every relationship but it just did not work out. I personally cant handle a girl friend that was just sleeping around in the past. I would not accept that. I cant explain why, it is irrational but cant handle it.

[@davepazz580]

It's actually not "irrational" at all... it's how it's supposed to be.

[@PhilipTheHunter]

I always find it funny when women say they have an equal hard time to have sex.

[@maxmuller6730]

😂😂😂

[@mitsubachi6865]

Because it's true. Because most women are average looking aka invisible.

[@davepazz580]

@@mitsubachi6865 Wrong... As long as you have a vagina and uterus, you have instant value to all men no matter what... even the most average looking woman can go out and get double or triple the number of sex partners that any man could in no time at all, and without even trying. What most women *are* "invisible" for isn't sex, but in terms of attracting the highest-ranking male that other women want for a serious relationship... that's another story entirely.

[@JIX9ISLER1986]

Men marry for sexual access - which means there is a burden of performance that he had to meet to gain said access If a woman gave sexual access outside of marrige = I am so attracted to this guy I do not require marriage for sexual access... the married man is paying a FAR HIGHER PREMIUM than another guy who got it FOR FREE So essentially your sexual past is emasculating him and disrespecting him..... and men put a HIGH PREMIUM on RESPECT

[@p19shelt]

Couldn't have said it better.

[@p19shelt]

But yet I'm supposed to be indifferent to it...

[@thewonkyfonker]

Or you could just not have sex?

[@JIX9ISLER1986]

@@thewonkyfonker yes - until marriage

[@thewonkyfonker]

@@JIX9ISLER1986 or never? Finding other things you can do to spend time together?

[@rodmartinez3757]

My wife one night told me about her first, it must have slipped and some trigger hit and now she won't say a word about her past. If ask if did something as a kid, she will say she doesn't remember. I am talking about a women doesn't forget a thing since she was five and when Kennedy was shot. She will not tell me about anything that happened before we met. Nothing!! she know everything about my past because I went first.

[@Bryan8863]

This is such a difficult situation. On one hand you're probably concerned that something traumatic happened to her, but on the other hand you are probably ticked off that there is a lot that you do not know about your wife.

[@simi6153]

Even if you know about your wife’s past now, what does it matter when you’re married to her? You people care about this so much, it’s kind of funny.

[@andersnielsen6044]

how on earth do you end up in a marriage with a woman whos past you do not know?

[@1bigdogthe]

Like Cyper from the matrix said "ignorance is bliss" let sleeping dogs lie. If you truly love your wife I'd just let it go if I were you.

[@davepazz580]

@@1bigdogthe You mean just like if a woman "truly loves her husband" she should just "let it go" that he's not making as much money or hasn't yet built up the status she'd ideally want him to have? Yeah... we all see how that's turning out don't we?

[@RG-hf4et]

Older female here. Married my high school sweetheart and between dating & marriage we were together for 14 years. Dated another guy for 2 years-dumped him when I found out he was cheating, then dated several others for 1-3 months, then another guy for 5 years. I haven't dated in 10+ years. If I ever happen to go on another date, why would anyone ask about how many partners I've had? I would never ask this, I never did in the past & wouldn't answer if someone asked me back then & I don't really need to know how many partners someone else had. What I really want to know is are we compatible & is he a gentleman or a player!!

[@julisakyani6306]

Men who ask basically just say, "I'm super insecure and I don't have the communication skills or emotional development to handle this intimate conversation so I'm going to shame you instead of shame myself." Just in much less words 😂

[@RG-hf4et]

@@julisakyani6306 Agree! :)

[@p19shelt]

​@@julisakyani6306Julia is trying hard to make herself feel better. At the end of it...we ask because the past predicts the fututer...nobody wants to commit to a hoe. It's simple.

[@TheUnique69able]

Don’t worry you won’t have problems of men asking for your part. You’re already old and men don’t want you.

[@simi6153]

@@TheUnique69able Did you ever have a girlfriend?

[@ZiliaVing]

As a woman I definitely care about my partner's sexual past and I wouldn't marry a man with many previous sexual partners. I find it unattractive and potentially a sign of low character. And I know A LOT of men that don't care about their woman's past and find "experienced" attractive. Men and women really are not that different.

[@sarahrobertson634]

I despise promiscuous men.

[@Straga_Severa]

> And I know A LOT of men that don't care about their woman's past and find "experienced" attractive. You know that men claim that they don't care. That's a difference. Many men adopt the "progressive" beliefs thinking it's their only option to have a relationship. Like we say in Russia - "if you can't find a stamped paper, write on the toilet one".

[@Arejen03]

man just wont value promiscues woman, they will just use them for sex without commitment becouse why would they invest when the other guy got it for free?

[@davepazz580]

"Don't care" about their woman's past simply means the guy knows he can't do any better than her... he is not in a position to have real choices in women. i.e. he is a "low" value man... only low value men idioticaly pay more than what the previous guy who had his woman paid for her, which was nothing.

[@ZiliaVing]

@@davepazz580 Or he actually loves her for who she is. Surprise, surprise!? ;) (You guys are so narrow minded....)

[@MrZipperhead16]

Past performance indicates future actions. I'm not putting time and effort into a pole jumper that has that history because she has no staying power. Why put in all the work for a peck on the cheek when she will turn around and give it away to some Chad that's reaping your reward? I'm not being "insecure"; I'm just not paying Cadillac prices for a very used Chevy.

[@poeticeclipse]

What isn't being addressed here is this.... if women are seen as "undatable" or "unworthy" or "less desirable" because of a even slightly more exploratory sexual past, would men agree that MEN who have a colorful/exploratory/loose past are also less desirable? Do men think women should or shouldn't care about a man's past? If so, what happens when people are middle-aged, have had actual serious relationships, and also have been exploratory sexually? Are they doomed to have zero future and never be desirable again? Are they supposed to always lie about their past?

[@Straga_Severa]

No. Like it was said in the video, it is extremely easy for a woman to have an "exploratory" sexual past, and it is extremely hard for a man to have one. Sadly, women tend to prefer men with good looks and good game - which are the small minority that has a chance to have such a past.

[@poeticeclipse]

@@Straga_Severa as a woman with a lot of female friends… not all women have the option. Nor do all women want the option.

[@Straga_Severa]

@@poeticeclipse The second point is true - and that's the women who don't have the "exploratory" past. The first one is completely false - any woman has that option. Tinder experiments show that a 200-kg woman gets hundreds of matches, that a 60-year-old grandma has hundreds of matches. Any woman HAS the option, many just don't pick this option.

[@poeticeclipse]

@@Straga_Severa I have to wonder, and this isn’t me being contradictory, does that swipe right ALWAYS translate into a date and/or sex? In my experience men are quite lonely and will TALK to anyone for companionship, even if a physical attraction isn’t strong. It lifts the ego, the mood, the connection with another human. Perhaps women are more selective about who we give our time to… even if it’s just texting/calling. If a swipe resulting in a date is entirely different than a swipe itself which becomes a pen pal.

[@Straga_Severa]

​@@poeticeclipse I understand that you don't want to contradict me for just being contradictory, don't worry =-) But your position is not correct, it's kinda feminine ;-) Yes, men really feel lonely, but no, a physical act of sex is very fulfilling for a man in alleviating his loneliness. If a guy is not inviting a girl on a date, it's mostly because he is too shy or afraid of consequences (rejection, shaming, etc.) - that's why men become pen pals. But let's just run the numbers. For the sake of clarity let's discount the fact that a woman can initiate contact too - it is an OPTION for her. So, if even 50% of guys are too scared to invite a girl on a date, and if 50% of guys who invite her on a date are too scared to invite her to his bedroom, it's still leaves 25% of guys who will initiate sex. And if a girl gets (let's pick a really low number for a woman) a 20 of matches per day, it's still leaves her with 5 options to have sex per day. FIVE. PER. DAY. To compare this to men's number, an amount of matches that is "normal" for an average guy is 1-2 per WEEK. And most girls will resist the direct sexual advancements from an average-looking guy, or just use him for validation or free meal. Therefore, in order to have casual sex, he needs to work his ass off to both get more matches (learn the algorythm, get photos which convey the story, etc) and to be really smooth, charming and good looking (via gym, style, etc). I know this first-hand, because for the last three years I'm working on my dating skills and I still have 2/3 of the road before me. I'm more of the relationship guy than a hookup guy, but in current dating climate the relationship starts with sex, so the skills I learn are the same. It is orders of magnitude harder for a man than for a woman to get laid. And I'm not complaining about it, of course - but this is just the fact ;-)

[@TGP109]

For one, most men will never know about a woman's past sex life unless she's flaunting it on social media and to family and friends.2) Most men don't care about whether you've slept around, but whether or not you enjoy sex and want to have it regularly with HIM. I've never been asked by anyone I dated and/or slept with how many partners I've had, nor have I asked them. The main problem with this subject matter in the ''manosphere'' is that it treats sex like a commodity-an exchange of one thing for another instead of the quality of the time spent between two people. Past behavior doesn't always predict future behavior anyway, younger people ''try on new hats'' all the time. The Red Pill views these ''exchanges'' between men and women as the Left has always done, as almost purely economic in nature, which is rather ironic considering their wrath for feminism.

[@user-fq9vo2xw8s]

My wife was in the past much more entusiastic on sex with expartners, than is this today. It is not so easy to be together with knowing her history.

[@Royan712]

You are her safe nice guy choice.

[@Rainer125]

It is absolutely over for you dude

[@user-fq9vo2xw8s]

@@Rainer125 no. This is beginning. How important is sex for you? Now is time to protect own sexual energy for better purposes. "Semen retention protection" if you want to be strong, high value Man, you can not be possesd by sex. You have to Control your mind.

[@mitsubachi6865]

Menopause? It can be a real game changer and it has nothing to do with you.

[@MrCinetics]

Promiscuity regardless gender (men or women) is bad, the connection that is planted the first time you are intimate with someone is strong but if you have had multiple partners the connection every time degrades till you reach a point where it’s difficult to create a strong bond ( I know there are many more factors but in the context of the video ). You can call people old fashioned but saving yourself for marriage is the best course of action you can take specially for women

[@davepazz580]

Men can't be "promiscuous" because men don't control access to sex... women do.

[@peter2633]

@@davepazz580Great comment! Why this guy didn’t know this is strange.

[@roderickjackson7446]

To try to keep their body count lower some women will circle back to a "reliable-ex".

[@DanielGennaro]

Yeah they do. Dealing with that now. Huge red flag to have exes where the book was never fully closed. For me. All my pages are turned with exes. No going back. Some women will keep that open for a full back hook up. And that’s dangerous

[@getrektnoobgg5043]

I have strong feelings for my girlfriend. She’s only had one boyfriend and is her only body. She’s kisses other guys before whatever like what any other person would do testing the waters. But the one thing is it was a shitty relationship. And it hurt her a lot. Fast forward I’m dating her. And the guy has pulled her hair during sex and stuff. And she told me to do it once or twice and I did. I didn’t mind. But I found out her ex did it and I got kinda mad about it. I couldn’t get it across my mind why she would have me do that because I never would have done it. I’m not sure what to do because it makes me think what she hasn’t told me though she’s been “100% truthful”. How do I go about this. And how do I bring it up that now a few days after the fact that I’m not okay with it and you need to tell me everything again?

[@buxycat]

Maybe your girl likes getting her hair pulled and it's nothing to do with her ex?

[@Kk-of5gp]

U are about to get burned bad and i mean your heart lol leave her before she destroys u

[@JewTube001]

in a western country it's completely normal for people to learn what they like sexually in multiple relationships or porn. i think you expect her to be a virgin outside of your relationship with her but that isn't how it works these days.

[@tastyparts]

Bruh she learned that she likes her hair pulled during sex and she is giving you the gift of telling her how she enjoys it. It has nothing to do w her ex. Would you rather her just have no clue about what she likes and you just fuck her but she's unsatisfied or have her speak up and tell you what she wants?

[@michaelahrinco79]

Personally someones past dosent matter to me also i dont discuss my past but i go by has he been a cheater in the past in thst case i would not trust that person not cheating in other relationships they have

[@DFENSFL]

This was one of the best videos I have seen on this subject. But the upshot for moral, decent men is - these days,you are pretty much screwed. Feminism has destroyed women. The best you can hope for is a low body count and serial monogamy, and that is getting more rare by the day. So it is deal with that, or be alone. Some choice, ha?

[@GillAgainsIsland12]

But then you have a choice to grow spiritually. And that’s the real prize.

[@tenuunsanjaadorj7541]

Facts brother ​@@GillAgainsIsland12

[@GillAgainsIsland12]

Yes, I've been through the whole deal. Always looking for a woman with a "decent" past and few past boyfriends. In the end, it's all based on insecurity and ego. Once you realize that you will look for what's really important in life, and it's not finding the "right" person. It's finding your real self.

[@davepazz580]

No... in the end, it's actually based on logic and sound reasoning... Only low-value males who have no other choice think otherwise...

[@GillAgainsIsland12]

@@user-bx4kj5le4u Yeah, I used to think that too. Drove me nuts. But I later learned that we all have to grow spiritually before we attract the right person. You'll never find happiness in another person. That's an illusion. May feel real for a while, but then it fades away. Anyway, good luck. We all walk a path in life that leads to freedom or bondage.

[@GillAgainsIsland12]

@@user-bx4kj5le4u But what's more important is that you improve yourself so that you will attract the right person. Don't lie to yourself. If a woman's looks is the most important thing, then don't cry later when you find out she lied and slept with many more men than she originally told you. I know what I'm talking about. Been there, done that!

[@davepazz580]

*If a woman's looks is the most important thing, then don't cry later when you find out she lied and slept with many more men than she originally told you.* A woman's looks are the most important thing for *initial* physical attraction... not for anything beyond that.

[@GillAgainsIsland12]

@@davepazz580 I used to think the same way. But I was lying to myself. Looks STAY the most important thing for a long time, too long, especially when the sex is good. Then we become entangled with the wrong woman. And the cycle repeats and repeats. You may think you're above that. But you're not. Breaking that cycle is one of the most difficult thing any man can do. But it's worth it.

[@stefangeschke7604]

Or it is simply the case that many guys are deeply insecure and are afraid that at least some of the previous lovers of the woman were simply doing better than them (sexually).

[@JIX9ISLER1986]

insecurity is shaming language - would you drink water from the toilet even if I assured you the toilet bowl was cleaned ?

[@davepazz580]

This isn't the case at all, since initially men are only looking for temporary disposable sex partners anyway... It only becomes an issue when assessing a woman for a serious, long-term commitment... why pay any more than what the last guy got totally for free?

[@TGP109]

Yeah, those guys looking for temporary disposable sex partners are the main problem.@@davepazz580

[@TheUnique69able]

Even if the reason was insecurity, the shaming tactic won’t work and we won’t commit to a promiscuous woman.

[@davepazz580]

*Yeah, those guys looking for temporary disposable sex partners are the main problem.* No... the problem is women not making wise choices for themselves.

[@Emptytopfloor]

Great 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Perpetuate the male loneliness epidemic further.

[@jkuhede]

It's not really bad, male loneliness has nothing to do with relationships with women

[@briannarivera7592]

After almost 7 years, my fiancé decided last night that my history was worth leaving me for. Even though I was a virgin when we got together. I had partaken in other things that he decided made me gross. One with a guy I was in an almost 3 year relationship with. So now he’s done. I don’t even know how to process.

[@JIX9ISLER1986]

"Even though I was a virgin when we got together. I had partaken in other things that he decided made me gross." what does that even mean ???

[@khangongoraarbazbarbar6296]

​@@JIX9ISLER1986oral sex maybe

[@petemuganeafrica7312]

Men just don't want someone with a worse sexual past than them(Meaning a guy with a high count may take a woman with a high count if it's less than theirs). Most men with high self-worth would walk away.. More insecure men may stick around due to fear that they may not get a better option if any.. But the moment they do get options they usually cheat. My advice is to have all these difficult conversations before your next relationship. Understand your values and deal breakers, especially around your finances.. sexual life/past, and purpose for your lives. Less time will be wasted this way

[@TGP109]

Think about it, what does ''virgin'' mean to most people?@@JIX9ISLER1986

[@lynnferry291]

@briannarivera7592 I'm sorry to hear that your fiancé left you, but in all honesty, I think you dodged a bullet. It took him SEVEN years to figure out that he didn't like that you fooled around with someone else before him?? I think it was an excuse to break things off with you. Forget the asshole and try to move on the best you can.

[@Tim_Allen11]

I look at it like this. What if you had to invite all your sexual partners to your wedding? What women don’t understand is by gate keeping sex they make it competitive amongst men. How do you think said wedding would go? 😂

[@2Sugarbears]

8:01 Because you men do the judgement. Thats why.

[@davepazz580]

No, because women have far more choices than men do because women control access to sex...

[@jackdeniston59]

Does not matter. We just do. Pay damn attention ladies. Great analogies by the way.

[@ssing7113]

I have many analogies The money analogy: When you go into the bank and get that crisp 100 bill. You’re amazed. You feel it. Smell it. Look at it and go. So this is what a fresh bill looks like wow. Now ladies when you had another man carrying that bill and you pass it to him what did he get. It’s worn out. Used. Smells. Wrinkly. Looks faded. It’s got germs. It’s not a valuable bill even though it’s exchangeable compared to that fresh crisp bill The ice cream analogy: When you were a kid the most amazing thing was vanilla ice cream. Wasn’t thinking about other flavors or even knew they existed. Then one day someone introduces you to mint chip ( another man ). Then Ben and Jerry’s ( Chad ). Now going back to that vanilla is pretty boring right. We’ll that’s what you do when you sleep around. The standard isn’t fun anymore and there’s no value. It has value but you threw it out with experience. That’s why men don’t appreciate a high body count because they have a low probability of pleasing you with too many experiences under your belt. This he will become bitter wondering why he has to go to work all day and you had better fun in the past The car analogy: All women know this. Don’t think I need to explain. Yeah the guy is going to be upset getting cracked leather. Faded dash. High mileage and pay just as much as the man who got that fresh new scent. Crisp seats. Got to wear it in and then dump it off to a new model. . . I have more but I’ll stop there. Ladies protect your body. The most important asset you were born with.

[@janelle2262]

I find all these analogies funny and actually insulting to women. You're basically equating a woman who has had multiple partners "used". This is a story that you create around it. It's as if someone's worth is based on their sexual past. But in reality, the number of partners one has doesn't really tell what kind of person this is, or their story, or how compatible they are to you, or how good of a wife or partner they are, their emotional maturity, how committed they are in the relationship etc. People marry or get into a relationship because they like that person for who they are beyond the sexual aspect of it. People marry someone because that person is someone they see spending the rest of their lives with, because that person has qualities they didn't see in all the past partners. But it's funny how this whole relationship experience will be reduced to such a silly analogy like this, and men reject their partners because of these stories they create in their head that doesn't really represent the whole of what's happening

[@ssing7113]

@@janelle2262if you are an exception to the rule. Ok. Maybe you highly value men. Isn’t standard It’s tells a lot to a guy. The most scared things you can give to a man. A kid and sex. If you freely toss that around why would or should he pay too dollar for that. Do you go to Louis vuitton expecting to see used bags for that price. Or wouldn’t you be pissed if you paid that much and you realized later the bag was used for two weeks. You’d want a new bag. Men invest their entire life into an woman. And yea women do too. We’re expected to be the funny guy. Protector. Provider. Nurturer. Fixer. Remember anniversaries. Some how buy you gifts on valentines yet we get a card. Provide you with trips and bags and jewelry. Masculine. Soft. Sexy. Alpha in bed. Socially adept. . . Men want a good return on their investment. Would you buy a car that’s had 20 owners or 2? And you didn’t know the car history and had to make a decision what one you gonna pick. Also men can’t help what we want. Just as you are allowed to want what you want in a man. Regardless if it makes sense. Men value beauty. Youth. Fertility. Purity. Don’t hate the messenger. Hate the game then It also shows pair bonding ability. Why is it that virgins that marry have a 10% divorce rate vs. the standard 55%.. Your birth canal is a sacred thing. So Tony Tom tim mick and Rick along with Chad and Tyrone have space in that area when you get married and have a kid. That is just bad energy to have a whole slew of dongs in the same place your married man’s child is coming out of.. More partners equate to more emotional baggage. Unresolved traumas. Resentment that you couldn’t lock down Chad. More men mean greater comparisons that you pick and choose the best of all partners. He’s not going to stack up to the best of every man you had in bed then. And thus leading to dissatisfaction in a relationship. “ he never did this”. “He always did this for me”. Shows a lack of commitment to have slept around. Shows lower morals and standards. Shows low logic and reasoning other then “I wanted to have fun”. Shows integrity and character. Shows a lack of respect for your own body. Shows a many things to a man. Just as if a guy said he played video games all day. You’d prolly bin him as a loser. Low motivation. No social life. Not going anywhere. That’s the signal women high body counts have. She lacks moral integrity to take her serious Men value sex above all else in a relationship. Why do you think we’re in a relationship. If we wanted to talk to someone I can get a dog or a male friend to talk to.. I know women can’t understand this. Men want sex. Everything else we can get from the outside world. So if you passed the couchie around it’s value is this deemed less worthy. Just as a rental car that’s now on the used market is to a one owner who took it in for maintenance on every schedule and didn’t abuse or beat it up. I’ve tried to explain it in other ways. I don’t know what to tell ya. Men have a revulsion to it. It is what it is. It ain’t going away same as women wanting a taller man. A richer man. It is what it is. Like it or hate it. That’s life. And lastly I hold this standard for men as well. Yet it’s funny that women actually don’t want virgin men 😂. With a bonus I don’t want to be sucking where dudes were offloading. That’s just not valuing myself then. That’s disgusting and sick to make a man be licking where other dudes have been. . . .

[@mariletakoutsorevithi2202]

@@janelle2262 I find your answer great and it welcomes a humane point of view. I would advise you to save your energy for a fruitful conversation with men who value human beings first so that they are able to value women and intimacy. No matter how often I reply to what I read in this message board, I am faced with double standards and dangerously propagated and acquired beliefs.

[@davepazz580]

*But it's funny how this whole relationship experience will be reduced to such a silly analogy like this, and men reject their partners because of these stories they create in their head that doesn't really represent the whole of what's happening* Men don't "reject" such women because "of the stories they create in their head"... simply that knowing a woman has given away her most valuable asset to other for free int he past means there is no reason for him to pay a single penny more (meaning, taking her on as a more serious relationship partner). It is that simple... just accept it.

[@ignaciolopez3599]

@@janelle2262 actually there are studies showing that promiscuous women are less likely to bond in a right way with their partner and most likely to end in divorce. Another recent one shows that women absorbs every partner's DNA through the semen in her vagina, imagine having the DNA of 100 men :/ and also women can pretty much have sex whenever they want, so that puts extra responsibility and self control on you, Men need to work their ass off, have a lot of money, be handsome and many other traits to even have a chance of getting sex.

[@quonyoung1280]

God is love and juzt because you dont believe in the law doesnt mean it doesnt apply to you.😉

[@ineedhoez]

Can we just admit that is part of the mating strategy? Stop pretending that it is more than that.

[@eliteluxurymeditations950]

They are worried you have had another man bigger and better than them and will be comparing them. and fear that they won’t measure up. That’s really what it boils down to😅 Women, be responsible and self-respecting, but I do not think it is a bad thing to date and get to know your own body. When men have this unrealistic expectation that a woman should be in the house 24 seven until he decides he wants to be with her, even though she has no idea who he is, you can see that doesn’t make any logical sense Of course avoid someone who is reckless and has zero boundaries. You don’t want someone who is easily accessible. But someone simply having dating experience does not make them a bad person.

[@davepazz580]

*They are worried you have had another man bigger and better than them and will be comparing them. and fear that they won’t measure up. That’s really what it boils down to😅* This is what bitter feminists tell themselves in order to make themselves feel better about their bad life choices and subsequent loss of value...

[@tomcoop9750]

I think women should be able to do whatever they want. But I will never lower my standards and date someone with a past.

[@virtuousvoice]

Your first sentence actually confirms why men don't want women with promiscuous pasts for serious relationships, because, yes, the odds are higher that she's had a better/bigger lover than you. The less body count, the greater the likelihood you'll be the best she's ever had. This is why virgins make the most faithful wives, and faithfulness decreases as past body count increases.

[@davepazz580]

@@virtuousvoice Not really... it's about not wanting to pay a single penny more for what the previous guy enjoyed for free.

[@TheUnique69able]

No problem call us insecure or whatever shaming tactic you want. At the end of the day we won’t commit to a slut end of discussion.

[@yzma6142]

I’m a woman and I care about this a lot as well. Is that weird? I’d prefer a man with a very low body count or no body count like myself.

[@davepazz580]

It's not "weird" but it's also neither here nor there... The large majority of men these days are either virgins or have very limited sexual experience... yet these same men are leaving the dating scene in droves from lack of finding partners in general. Obviously, being a virgin or very low body count guy isn't an asset in today's world in any way, shape or form... so what you're saying here is inconsequential to the grand scheme of things.

[@yzma6142]

@@davepazz580 I disagree, it's an asset but only if you are abstaining by CHOICE. men who are focused on their goals and want to save themselves for the right woman are so attractive in my eyes. but if we're talking about men who wish they could sleep around, but don't have the confidence to, obviously their motivation is way different and is not an asset at all. it goes both ways. no man wants a virgin woman who just can't get laid but wants to. they value her because she turns men down, waiting for the one she can trust with her mind, soul, body, and spirit.

[@davepazz580]

It doesn't even matter because the guys "abstaining by choice" *still* aren't enjoying any amazing benefits from virginhood... they go through life being largely ignored by the vast majority of women. The problem here is you think men and women are perfectly identical in everything related to sex, and they each have identical value in the dating/mating game... I don't know who told you this, but it's about as wrong as one could possibly get. Even you said "if we're talking about men who wish they could sleep around, but don't have the confidence to" - which means you know that it takes actual *confidence* for a guy to have the necessary attraction power to sleep with multiple women (along with other accomplishments in life, don't forget that one also). But there really is no such thing as a guy walking around super-confident knowing he isn't attracting women enough to sleep with him... just "thinking" he could be having all these attractive women in bed but "choosing" not to - no such thing exists, trust me. He can either do it and *will* do it, or he simply isn't attractive enough to... there is no in-between - men aren't women and therefore, don't have a woman's mind set in sex. Tell me how much women are attracted to men with no confidence? Do you think that kind of magnetic, sexual confidence magically appears out of thin air? No... it comes from actual *accomplishments* in sex and other areas of life. Whereas for women, it's the total opposite... it takes confidence for her to *not* end up sleeping with multiple partners. A woman that "can't get laid but wants to" is probably such a tiny anomaly that it's not even worth brining up... she would have to be absolutely hideous to an *extreme* level that zero guys would want to bang her.

[@aawillma]

​@@yzma6142This is a good point that no one is really talking about. Men experience "receiving" sex as validation of value. Value as compared to other men. If they get sex from someone no one wants they don't care. They don't value the woman more or less, she's just a means to an orgasm. But if they get to bed someone who is sexy but has a low body count that means she CHOSE him. Out of all the other men she could get! He must be so awesome! So wait, he isn't trying to find the best partner he's just competing with other men!! Men will think more about other men while trying to fuck women than the woman they're fucking. I know this because none of my ex boyfriends cared about my same-sex body count, only other men. It's so bizzare and kind of pathetic honestly. I've never met a mature and well-adjusted man who gave a fuck about body count. I don't care if men's obsession with purity is cultural or genetic, it's outdated and unevolved. Gay men don't care, lesbians don't care, just men who want the prettiest toy to prove to their buddies that they're worthy. Blegh.

[@davepazz580]

*Men experience "receiving" sex as validation of value. Value as compared to other men. If they get sex from someone no one wants they don't care.* Women do the exact same thing... don't kid yourself on that one. A large part of a man's value comes directly from the fact that other women want him... women don't care for men that other women don't actively want, such men are immediately disregarded as not being "good enough" for her. *They don't value the woman more or less, she's just a means to an orgasm.* And women don't value the man more or less, he's just a means to her immediate elevation of status thanks to partnering with man other women also want. *But if they get to bed someone who is sexy but has a low body count that means she CHOSE him.* Same as when a woman seriously lands a desirable man (I don't mean just for sex but for a serious commitment) actively wanted by other women, that means he chose HER among the others he just had sex with short term. *Out of all the other men she could get!* Just as among all the other women this desirable man already had sex with then forgot about, he chose to commit to the one that made herself useful in his life... *He must be so awesome!* Just as the chosen women would feel... *So wait, he isn't trying to find the best partner he's just competing with other men!* And likewise, the woman wasn't trying to find the "best" partner either, she was just competing with other women... *Men will think more about other men while trying to fuck women than the woman they're fucking.* The same can easily be said about women... they cared more about which men the other women wanted instead of the man they are sexing right now. *I know this because none of my ex boyfriends cared about my same-sex body count, only other men.* Why did you expect him to care about them? *It's so bizzare and kind of pathetic honestly.* Then if you were intellectually honest, you'd have to say the exact same about women... they basically do the same thing. *I've never met a mature and well-adjusted man who gave a fuck about body count.* Just as I've never met a "mature" and "well-adjusted" woman that didn't care about a man's financial situation and status... btw, no man *initially* cares about a woman's body count, because the first goal is sex... it only becomes important later when properly assessing a woman for something beyond a purely casual relationship. Men that *absolutely* don't care about a woman's body count and will seriously commit to a high body count woman is a sign of low value and having no standards on his part... *I don't care if men's obsession with purity is cultural or genetic, it's outdated and unevolved.* No, it's actually quite practical and perfectly justified... just as women's own methods of choosing men. *Gay men don't care, lesbians don't care, just men who want the prettiest toy to prove to their buddies that they're worthy. Blegh.* Those don't count in this discussion, as there is an entirely different dynamic going on there... But the last part can easily be said about women (as I proved in the previous lines)...

[@yahyaprince9624]

i think the past its not big problem because she was honest if she told you she had sex with ftiends better than hide it for decades.

[@simonmackenzie6230]

I find this an odd take. If you learnt that a woman had 50 partners but had put out earlier with you and did more freaky stuff with you would that make it all better? I suspect not. Imagining another man shagging your partner seems to be deeply unsettling to the male brain even if it's long in the past I've always assumed men's issues with a woman's sexual past stem from one of the main evolutionary dilemmas faced by men: is the child mine? It's about loyalty and trust. I assume a high body count suggests to a man that a partner might not be loyal and that he might end up supporting another man's child. Women on the other hand judge a man highly that is judged highly by other women so are less likely to be bothered by a high body count, but if it suggests the man is unfaithful or doesn't commit then it can be a turnoff.

[@simi6153]

My main concern is that the video didn’t discuss the woman’s present. Who is she now as a person? When it comes to these kinds of conversations, I never hear the woman’s present brought up. There are scenarios where a woman slept with a lot of men in the past, but now, that woman has changed, has a better personality, and does moral actions. Would that be fair if a man she’s dating is pleased about her character, but is too spooked about her past that he suddenly breaks up with her and moves along?

[@simonmackenzie6230]

@@simi6153 Well, we're talking mainly about instinct here. While one would hope a man judges a woman based on who she is now and not who she was, the subconscious reaction can still be quite strong. I know a guy whose mental health is greatly affected by thinking about his partner's sexual past even after having two children with her. He really wishes that wasn't the case but he just can't help himself. It makes him feel physically ill.

[@rilwanj]

Would a women date an ex persistent cheater? That’s his past it shouldn’t matter

[@erinwhipple4666]

It matters because he caused harm to his previous partners, so who’s to say he wouldn’t cause the same harm to his next partner? A woman who has had previous sexual partners isn’t harming anyone. As long as she doesn’t carry any diseases from her sexual past, it shouldn’t matter.

[@rilwanj]

@@erinwhipple4666 a women who was very promiscuous may return to her ways while in a relationship, because she never learned how to control that urge when she was single, or her behaviour changed because of a extrinsic motivation e.g. now she gets no attention from the kind of man that triggered that promiscuous behaviour, what if a man like that came along For me, I’m in my 30s, I’ve been saving sex for marriage all my life, the only way I know the women has self control regarding sex is if I ask about her motivations for engaging in that behaviour, etc. Since I’ve never had sex or anything close, the desire for sex will be stronger for someone with a sexual past, will they be able to control that urge knowing it could be a year or 2 before we got married.

[@tomcoop9750]

@@erinwhipple4666actually, there is a link between past experiences and likelihood to divorce

[@erinwhipple4666]

@@tomcoop9750 that’s a great example of correlation without causation. Just because two sets of data are correlated does not mean that one causes the other. You have to find a direct link to WHY having previous partners may increase the risk of divorce. It’s certainly not the case in my relationship.

[@simi6153]

@@erinwhipple4666 I would like to see this study myself. I agree with what you said about correlation v causation. Statistics get abused a lot in this space. Most people don’t know what they mean.

[@bullfrogcep]

Probably 35 years ago, there was a cartoon in Playboy magazine with a couple in bed having sex. The balloon thought for man was of course SEX. Woman's thought was relationship. So true. I am a 59 y/o educated, medically retired paramedic for 34 years. We have been married 21 years. My wife is 10 years younger. She abruptly stopped having sex about 8 years ago. Lots of excuses, arguments and fights for almost two years before she said, she was just no longer attracted to me. A year later, she then told me it was a how do i put it she has a medical problem. Simplistically, put she has what I call it a phobia. One of fluid exchange. Our marriage is quite challenging. She seems content with this. I however more recently have been dealing with it better. Old age, I guess. I have had to make hard choices. We have three kids 20, 18, 16. but, they aren't dumb they know We have talked, argued, and fought over this lack of intimacy. I can only touch her in a non sexual way . I can hold her when She wants and almost never kiss I do still Love her and find her desirable but we have to make choices as adults. I live with a room mate with whom I share a sleeping bed. Some days it sucks more than others. She refuses counseling because she doesn't have a problem. I go to one to vent. She sent me one of you videos. I have since then I watched several. Thanks. I don't why I ran on so. sorry.

[@caseypayne5138]

Dude sounds like a lot of cope on your side being stuck in a god-awful, desperate situation where your most basic needs for sex and intimacy are in no way being fulfilled. If I were you, I'd be taking a good hard look inward at myself, specifically what else was going on around 8 years ago that got her to stop being attracted to you and start covering up her lack of attraction to you with bullshit about phobias and medical issues. She obviously didn't have a problem with it before. Did you get hurt or injured seriously? You mentioned being medically retired. Did you start getting fat? Start acting needy and entitled? Did she have to take care of you a lot more, almost like you were another child in the household and not the man in charge of it? And what can you DO -- not "TaLk AbOuT", but just start DOing -- to fix your side of things? IDK if it's actually worthwhile for you to stay trapped in a totally loveless marriage any longer, but either way you could probably stand to lose a few pounds and start acting like a man again. You're gonna need to if you wanna have any shot at love and intimacy moving forward, whether it's with your current wife or whoever the next woman is.

[@Burnenwhysee]

I am so sorry to hear this.

[@Fogwell94]

Hmm, same thing happened to me (but without having kids and marriage). She was very sexual but after 3 years she suddenly started to "not feel good" so of course i gave her space, time etc. After 5 months of no sex ( which was extremely weird) i found out that she was fucking another guy. I hope this is not your case

[@Marwadear512]

My husband was like this for 17 years. We married as virgins. Sex grossed him out. We were together a handful of times all those years. He didn’t even like to kiss other than a peck on the cheek. Other men always found me attractive. But he never saw a point in sex. It hurt to divorce when I didn’t want to divorce, but couldn’t handle it anymore. And then to hear all this hatred for divorced women online. It’s always our fault they say. I wish you the best. If she keeps you monogamous, it’s simply not right or fair. I’m Muslim. We believe in polygyny for a reason.

[@rex9288]

This made me realize something… a lot of relationships are secret transactions but men’s side of the transaction is the only part that’s made explicit (the relationship/marriage part where you literally sign a contract).. women’s side of the transaction is implied, giving them a level of protection when they go against it.. they can pretend it doesn’t exist because it’s not explicitly stated and that allows them to take advantage of the other party whose end of the bargain is literally on paper.

[@niagentle]

The first and second analogy is just telling me that he doesn’t like me like that and I need to move on.

[@davepazz580]

How so?

[@niagentle]

@@davepazz580 just like how he explains, men aren’t complicated and they know what they want. Me initiating that I want marriage 4 years after dating means that he didn’t or wasn’t thinking about marrying me. Commitment isn’t hard, both my exes asked me to be their gf a month after we started to date.

[@davepazz580]

Yes but the thing is, men don't instinctively want marriage... they have to be absolutely convinced the woman is not only worthy of it, but that he'll lose her if he doesn't commit to that level (and that losing her will cause a huge loss of quality in his life). Men aren't complicated and do know what they want, but that only initially extends to an attractive woman and sex with little commitment (assuming we're talking about a man with confidence who knows he has choices, not some lonely schlub who would marry anybody at the drop of a hat)... it's really up to the woman to convince him otherwise.

[@jankyjimenez4268]

This was a very well made video. You did a great job at explaining everything and I agree with everything you said except for the last part I’m 39 and married but I have been with a ton of women. My face was mainly the reason why. I just got out of the game in 2019 but I would say that guys these days are struggling for women to even commit. It seems like women are not only controlling sex but they are also controlling commitment. It seems like guys struggling to get into relationships and once they do they simp and even stick around during blatant disrespect Just look at how many guys are posting videos of women cheating on them and they still take them back. So now women have even more power. Now that women don’t need men financially, they use the simps for a while until they get the guy they want. Even though they are mainly delusional in that aspect. It’s a difficult time to be a man nowadays. In life there’s pros in cons for everything and the con of women being liberated as much as they are, is it has ruined relationships and families

[@sirblackshield8000]

This is a very important topic why would a man pursue a women who has already been passed around. Put it this way if you took a muffin and 3-7 random men would take a bite out of it...would you still eat it?

[@NeverUseAnApostrophe]

Woman is singular, women is plural. Read a book.

[@deadeyedick60]

I hear you brother, I make a 6 figure income an hooked up with a gal with 2 adult kids from 2 different dads. In the beginning sex was awesome she's beautiful. I'm now trapped. She's definitely got baggage.....thought I could handle. NOT! Now I hardly get sex an with the baggage an her double standards......my life sucks. My fault no one else's. Don't do what I did guys. Leave these older women with baggage by the curb.

[@ghenderson2022]

Dick, get out of this nightmare. You have no responsibilities with this woman. Make yourself proud!

[@mitsubachi6865]

They can be 20 and nuts as hell too.

[@shiradekel9338]

I’m with a man who has that issue with me… all the comments are saying to brake up… but we live each other! Will he ever let go of this? I want him and only him. Please… there must be something we can do… please help me, we truly love each other. Sometime he makes me feel so gross about myself… i just want as to be together peacefully…

[@timmytee734]

Run girl! This isn't about his moral standards! This is about his ego and low self esteem. Next time he tries to shame you and drag you through the mud, you do the same about his dirty p o r n addiction! If he denies it now, he surely did it in the past! He does not love you, leave him and let him find a virgin and you find a mentally healthy man.

[@peter2633]

Men know what women want in relationships such has being a protector and provider but women are clueless as to what men desire. It’s hardwired into every man to feel disgust if his wife / girlfriend is not a virgin. This is because from the beginning of time men could only secure paternity if she was a virgin. Very recent modern day technology of paternity tests does not change his biological make up. “Every man whether they simp and deny this to their woman knows this very truth.” Each man if given a choice will overwhelmingly select the virgin bride over the non-virgin.

[@timmytee734]

@@peter2633 Men know what women want? Since when? lmao! Also before you use the word disgust, think about how women feel about your pervert sick activities online. About virgins in the past, girls were marred at the age of 15 and 16! Then it was moved to 18. Do you men want to get married at the age of 18?? No! Not even at 25 so what's your point? The only reason you feel strong about her past is because you have size issues and terrified that she had bigger and better. It's all about your ego, nothing else. Stay single dude. You don't even deserve a virgin! You watch dirt online so stop with the moral b.s.! P.s. Many of those married virgins ended up cheating because thier husbands were doing the same.

[@davepazz580]

*Men know what women want? Since when? lmao!* Since always... this isn't rocket science. Go out and ask a bunch of random women what kind of men they want in relationships... ask them if they want a man to *not* be provider and protector, ask them if they want to instead be the main provider and protector of the man. I guarantee you *none* of them will say yes to that... so please stop playing dumb. *Also before you use the word disgust, think about how women feel about your pervert sick activities online.* What "sick" and "perverted" activities online are you talking about, and how do you know what he's personally doing anyway? *About virgins in the past, girls were marred at the age of 15 and 16! Then it was moved to 18. Do you men want to get married at the age of 18??* Men aren't forced to become actual responsible men at 18 as was the case back then... today, they are coddled and enticed to stay "children" well into their 20's. So your question and hypothetical has zero context now and is irrelevant. In terms of relationships as they are today, there are no benefits for men specifically to marry even at 25 given the overall quality and maturity level of women... and it really doesn't even matter, as most guys that age (and below) have a lot of trouble even attracting decent, eligible women in the first place *even* while being decent enough, hard working men themselves. *Not even at 25 so what's your point?* The point is it doesn't matter... Men are the ones who must adapt to whatever the current supply of available women generally demanded of them in order to be eligible for marriage and enjoy its rewards... not just the women themselves, but society in general provided men with a strong incentive (and worthwhile reward) for becoming a man at 18 back in those times you mentioned - but today, that incentive is no longer there. *The only reason you feel strong about her past is because you have size issues and terrified that she had bigger and better.* This is what bitter feminists say to make themselves feel better about the very poor decisions and life choices they made... It's a typical shaming tactic that won't work here... just learn to live with your poor choices like an actual grown up. *It's all about your ego, nothing else.* Look in the mirror when you say this... *Stay single dude. You don't even deserve a virgin! You watch dirt online so stop with the moral b.s.!* There is nothing wrong with staying single for a man... and you really should stop obsessing over this "dirt" you keep bringing up. *p.s. Many of those married virgins ended up cheating because thier husbands were doing the same* What does that have to do with anything here?

[@peter2633]

⁠@@timmytee734 You’re triggered which confirms my point. You have no real come back other than baseless replies. The grown daughters that I have “already”raised are intelligent and know their true value. They have chosen to not behave in a promiscuous manner because that sort of behavior significantly lowers their value when it pertains to getting married. “Too bad that you don’t already realize this as well.”

[@kaitlin8669]

If the first guy doesn't work out become a nun I guess. Guys just don't forgive apparently.

[@davepazz580]

or you could try choosing better...

[@JenniferJohnson-ub3gt]

Ladies, this is why you never ever discuss past relationships with men. I always tell them that as a lady and a modest one at that, that I don't kiss and tell. His past relationships are none of my business and mine are none of his. This is what creates resentment and jealousy.

[@simi6153]

This is the kind of comment I was looking for. When he was done with his explanation, I got the gist of it, but there was this nagging thought at the back of my head saying that all of this worrying about someone’s past is odd to me. A person doesn’t know the circumstances or details surrounding those past relations, and before they’d learn anything about it, they get upset about it. The more I think about it, the more I wonder if it has something to do with some kind of sense of ownership you have toward the person you’re dating. It happens naturally as time progresses, and if a person learns about their date’s past, it may have the same feeling as learning about your partner cheating on you. Is that right?

[@JenniferJohnson-ub3gt]

@@simi6153 yes, absolutely. I think really, why would you want to cause each other that kind of pain anyway?

[@davepazz580]

If you feel that your past relationships are "none of his business" then you really don't care for him in the first place... plain and simple.

[@JenniferJohnson-ub3gt]

​@davepazz580 nope, that's an assumption on your part. It doesn't do anymore any favors to know these things. If you think you should know you are possesive and entitled.

[@davepazz580]

It's not an assumption but a fact... women that actually love and care about the men in their lives wouldn't hold back such information because you know that eventually, it would mean you've living a lie with that man. Just like when a man is seriously into a woman and fully sees her as "the one", he wouldn't hold back detailed information about his financial life...

[@user-yx5oh3pg5g]

I believe that once you get into a relation you should accept each other as you are. From that moment onwards you build on your relation together, on te commitment towards each other. The past should not matter. You do not know these guys and she does not know who you have been with. No need to disclose that, just accept that you both have been in relations before and had sex with your partners at the time. But if you decide to split and later get back together I believe this can lead to a big issue. At least that is my experience. We did not have sex anymore after we came back together as this really made me feel sick as I knew who the guy was. In the end we lived as brother and sister and decided to go our own ways again.

[@chadcadsonvii5258]

Good luck with the divorce bro. Enjoy. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.

[@abhijitpadhi625]

this is the reason why there are so many divorces these days....

[@NoirL.A.]

the problem arises because generally females want a male that they're going to have to compete for. females want a male that's in demand amongst other females. a male who's beeen pre-vetted by other females. anybody that does not fall into that category is automatically thought to be "needy" or "desperate" and there is no bigger turnoff for females. so, in essence, they want a male with a high body count. and since many females especially in the west have been subtly brainwashed by a feminist dominated media to condemn straight men for certain actions while simultaneously taking on those same characteristics themselves they will sleep around while simultaneously assuming males also want a high body count in a partner which is usually not the case. not only is venereal disease a concern but also a promiscuous woman also means you could end up playing father to someone else's child especially in the days before paternity tests it was a real possibility..

[@billy503]

Excellent points. I would also add that the higher the notch count, the less loyal she will end up being. Because high notches at a young age means she is not committing to any relationship, or poorly choosing partners who are unwilling to commit to her, and so loyalty and faithfulness are foregone virtues of her character.

[@Arejen03]

u described it perfectly, If she had many partners before even casual hookups and i knew it, i would expect a fast sex as well otherwise i lose interest. Why should I invest more when the other guy got it for free? Woman have it easy to get sex thats the whole point

[@TGP109]

What are you investing?

[@davepazz580]

@@TGP109 Time, energy, resources, emotional resources...

[@animba5440]

The worst part about a girl's past is that, they try to convince men that it doesn't matter. This is so stupid. It's not upto the guy what he feels, it's biological hardwiring in men. Also this is not about convincing or making him change his mind. Girls should respect the guys decision and choices. But when women fail to convince men, they try other tactics of blaming and shaming men. Example. Insecured, Not a man, etc Guess what girls, if you are not a virgin when you met the guy don't expect anything serious from him. Because the previous guys had it all with no commitment. So the guy who commits is actually the loser. Marriage matters more to women but losing virginity matters more to men. Just accept it, most of the women will not get a husband and only few of the men will die virgin.

[@julisakyani6306]

I think its really strange that for the demographic of people that ARE NOT HAVING SEX on an ASTRONOMICAL SCALE yall like to shame women for having it. I suggest men start prioritizing close friendships and healthy role models before they start talking about women at all.

[@ineedhoez]

That's why they are shaming women. 20 years ago, they were shaming women because they wouldn't put out. Now, that women are giving away sex, they're just mad because women won't give it to them. The funny thing, is that they still aren't offering a relationship, which is the thing that would get them sex. They just want free sex like the hot guys get.

[@ScotchTapeMafia]

Promiscuous women have always been looked down upon, no matter the demographic. Sorry to break it to you.

[@flashbang7910]

Kinda weird that you seem to be equating “having sex” to be a form of status. I dislike promiscuous men AND women. Maybe you should start focusing on your future after you retire, and once your body can no longer support having kids, instead of which demographic of people can have the most sex.

[@Straga_Severa]

This is so funny. You are not shamed for having sex, you are shamed for preferring to have sex with top20% guys while leaving normal men in the dust, then crying foul when you learn that none of those top20% guys commit to you. Have courage to say: "Yes, I know those guys I sleep with will not commit to me", stop saying that men are "commitment-phobic", and your position would be coherent, there would be no points to shame you about. What you do with your body is your choice. What we do with our commitment is our choice.

[@Arejen03]

why should a guy invest in a promiscues woman when the other guy got it for free? Man just dont value promiscues woman for more than sex

[@CustomerRelationsManager]

My interpretation would be that she has low self-esteem and that would be the reason why she had a high body count! And I'd walk away....