I Forgave My Wife For Cheating On Me...Now I Want To Leave r/Relationships

Relationship Reddit Stories
#redditupdate #redditrelationships #relationshipadvice

[@minervasucicorbegoso2097]

"I want to have a baby" "I don't" "You don't get to say no" Is it only me who got rapey vibes?

[@enkiimuto1041]

It builds some paranoia in your head real quick, too. Once a girlfriend said she would take Plan B by the morning, and that was our agreement for what we were going to do in between, when I was off to buy one, she just said she wouldn't take it.

[@Peeges_]

@@enkiimuto1041 in this instance, I feel like she should be able to make that choice. But I also think anyone should be able to waive their rights with no legal repercussions. Like “I expressed to her I didn’t want a child, we had an agreement for after care, she shouldn’t be able to pursue me for child support”

[@KittyCat_Gacha]

@@Peeges_ agreed. But it would also be beneficial to have both members of the relationship sign a contract so that they have proof that they agreed to take one course of action if it didn't go in the course the agreed to due to one member changing their mind after the fact

[@diamondmx3076]

Not so much "vibes" as this was a specific and credible threat. I hope she ran away and cut all contact forever.

[@TheUnamedOne832]

No. No you are not. Alone that is

[@DocKrazy]

Okay. The one with the abusive wife, who was more abusive while pregnant. What the everliving fuck? What is wrong with this woman? She "doesn't see herself in her son" So... If she had another boy... Or even if she had a girl who looked like the father... At least the son has the father to look out for him though. This shit is terrifying.

[@katieb.1184]

"you don't get to say no" was where I went... dude... your wife is not this sweet-as-pie woman... she needs serious help and a very VERY strong consent talk.

[@sailor6shooter753]

Sounds like she doesn’t like the way her husband looks. Seems like she hates her husband lol

[@SpookiCooki]

Needing to have a child that is the spitting image of you is a huge red flag alone. Anyone who has those kinds of wants shouldn't have children because they're doing it for the wrong reason. I think she is as callous and abusive as she portrayed herself during her pregnancy. She just manages to hide it most of the time.

[@catherinecox573]

I love that the teen son with blue hair teamed up with the girls and they protested in such a clever way. God bless teenagers.

[@janet6421]

Some kids in my high school had this same problem in the late 90's. Their solution was 2 girls and 1 boy shaved their heads. Smooth as a baby's backside. It was a much bigger distraction because other students kept rubbing their heads in class.

[@cfrueh8972]

My brother used temporary hair dye in school for a while. our school has no problem with it even when he came in with rainbow hair, so this just baffles me that some schools make such a big deal out of it.

[@claireadams6214]

My son is 30+. Atm he has his natural dark color fading to silver half way down, also very long. It looks great!

[@aphmaple2348]

@@janet6421 that's sick I love that

[@absolutelyridiculous6743]

@@claireadams6214 Oooh I bet it looks so good 👍

[@beastshawnee]

My daughter who is Tri-racial added some very mild maroon highlights to her hair in high school freshman year. That school also claimed that she had to dye her hair back to her natural color. I went in there and spoke with him and I was very polite but I said “That’s not a problem-she will dye her hair back to her natural color the day after all of the cheerleaders dye their blonde hair back to their natural color.” they opened and shut their mouths like fish for a while and one of them piped up weekly “well blonde is a natural color.“ And I said bleach blonde is not a natural the same way this is not a natural color for her. It’s the same thing.You know it’s the same and I know it’s the same. If they are allowed to dye their hair then she’s allowed to dye her hair. Let me know when they have all gone back to brown.” I turned and walked away-leaving them to stew in their racism.

[@hotjanuary]

You are a great parent standing up to hypocrisy.

[@silveritea]

You.are my hero!

[@cyreneB]

it took me longer than I want to admit to comprehend what tri-racial is, good point, your daughter is lucky

[@annabordelon6663]

Owe you a coffee! Hero Mom

[@hilaryc3203]

I will never understand American schools being so driven to squash individuality and creativity in kids. My daughter went through the teen phase of dying her hair different colours (I always thought the dark purple looked pretty amazing) and now my granddaughter is the same (plus she got her nose pierced) School doesn't care; they are more interested in what's under the hair than what colour it is.

[@aislygncovante7524]

Pregnancy Abuse:That's a seriously wild ride. Kept getting the feeling we weren't getting the whole story. She has ALL of those health factors (rare enough) AND the emotional factors (the abuse, etc) AND the post-partum, and still within that first year they spent a majority of conversations talking about having another one? That was already a couple ignoring reality by any means necessary.

[@cayladelorenzo4047]

For the girl who didn’t pay her BFs bills good on her! I made the mistake of helping my ex pay for the house with the idea that it would lead to marriage….and instead he cheated on me and abused me. He did pay me back, but you can’t get time back.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

I have to admit that the silver color hair was an amazing comeback from the son and the girls part.

[@FanFicnic]

I love that the principle just threw his hands up like “Touché! These kids are too clever for me to be mad.” Like as an educator, you gotta respect the lateral thinking.

[@jessicarose0528]

While listening to the pregnancy story I was perturbed up until the end. I went to school for psychology, social work & have been doing a lot of recent research on pregnancy & babies because I was thinking of becoming a night nurse. There's no condition that I'm aware of that would make OP's wife act like that just because she's pregnant. The hornones could trigger some kind of break in rare cases but that's still more likely if there are already underlying issues. I thought she had to already be like that for her to be acting that badly. Imo she knew she had an excuse & could blame it on the pregnancy. The hormones just made her negative feelings stronger. Being constantly ill definitely makes you irritable, but not abusive. That's a choice unless extremely mentally ill. I am so happy OP came to his realizations. What OP's wife also isn't thinking about is that even if she survived another pregnancy & had a girl, she still may not look like her. My son looks a lot like me. A YTuber I watch had a girl in the last year & the baby looks JUST like the husband. It's also possible the son OP's wife already has could look more like her as he grows up but she's looking for aome gratification & worthiness based on the baby looking like her out of the womb. Op, protect yourself, hire a lawyer & run to that divorce court!

[@jaggirl]

You might want to edit and fix hornones. Before someone acts like a smart @ss about it..

[@lennyklotzek3675]

00lllllllllllllllllllllllllkkkkllkkkkllkllll9

[@borednarmed5612]

99999999999e3

[@pezchef7577]

this story reminded me of an old saying. "the ax never remembers, but the tree never forgets"

[@raz7573]

She can’t wipe herself, but she can throw oatmeal and coffee mugs.

[@kismetcaffet9862]

It is so relieving that OP got out of the relationship with the bf that wanted her to buy a house for him. All I got was a building sense of foreboding for her safety from the first story. BF literally told her that he isn't sure about marrying her and that the relationship wasn't at the level of joint property ownership and then went after *her* for not being committed enough to their relationship. He had her mind so twisted and manipulated that I was scared for her and any potential update. She was absolutely right about her "compromise" being a bad deal for her and I am so glad he decided to throw another tantrum rather than jump at his chance to lock her down. Recovery is going to hurt, but OP will be better off and stronger after this.

[@nilianstroy]

He's a scammer.

[@BlackRose-bb7wt]

I never understand the un natural colour thing in schools. I had red hair in school. They told me to change it. I didn't, surprisingly never heard anything about it again. Like why do they care?

[@angeleyesgreen1586]

I don't get it either. The must often used excuse is that it's "distracting" to other students. Unless your electric people hair doubles as a Medusa-type weapon, your hair is not a distraction, it's just hair. I've seen people at the grocery store with all matter of hair and color styles, tats, piercings, body mods, eccentric clothing choices... it's never kept me from completing my shopping list. This is just a matter of a group of people being the conformity police.

[@shaymorcormick8743]

It's only a distraction to old boomer fucks that can't stand individuality

[@Ouja]

why do people make such a big stink about blood relatives being the only "real" family? to the point they'll throw a thrashing around on the floor temper tantrum about it. when my parents got divorced, my dad got custody of all 4 of us. including my eldest sister, who was not his child. and none of us, including her, knew until after she graduated high school and got ready to move out. and my dad and my grandparents never treated her differently, either before or after it was revealed.

[@platinum_noelle]

The people throwing fits about family only being by blood are relying on the phrase "blood is thicker than water", and don't realize that the full phrase is "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". They think, because of the shortened version, that it means that blood family is more important, when it really means that your chosen family will always be more important than your blood family (of course, you can also choose to keep your blood family in as your family, but it's not a requirement to do so just because you were born with them).

[@Rabbithavenstitchery]

1st story: I have been in the same situation, where my husband cheated on me, I forgave him, and stayed another 4 years. It's understandable that you can't get over it. I never got over it. It was like a disease, and it wore away at my love for him until it was no more. I also don't feel he put the work in, and when I finally did leave, he was "friends" with a woman at work, and they were too close, and that was the last straw, and I finally left. I've never regretted it, not once. Leaving was the best decision I ever made for my children and me. Can you imagine having our children grow up watching their father continually cheat and thinking that is ok? I wanted them to grow up to be decent people and having a morally corrupt parent being an in-house everyday example would corrupt them and make them grow up to be bad adults. My children don't talk to their father, and they are adults now, they blame him, rightly, for our marriage falling apart. I put up with his joblessness, controlling behavior and poverty, but I will never put up with having a bad person in my house being a bad example for my children. I am happier too, no one can understand unless you've been there how miserable it is to love someone and have them cheat on you unless you've been there. My firm dating rule: I don't give second chances, if I have a boyfriend and he cheats. I won't stay next time. I won't go through that again.

[@TheIronwil]

Bad Pregnancy, Rampant Abuse: NTA (if that was a question), except to himself. I would care for my wife regardless of how sick or injured she was… unless she turned into a monster, screaming, throwing and breaking things, and hitting me. That’s a zero-tolerance arena right there. When someone puts hands on your in anger, they are NOT YOUR FRIEND. Much less a partner. Never tolerate even 1/100 of this kind of abuse from anyone.

[@spiderlover888]

someone should’ve called the cops, pregnancy is no excuse for abusive behavior and i feel so badly for him and when he said he had a black eye it made me so upset that woman got passes for abuse because “pregnancy problems” 😢

[@an0rmalp3rson70]

​@@spiderlover888Man, the cops aren't gonna do shit

[@jellykittens2126]

I’m so happy the “straight” OP finally realised he isn’t entirely straight. some people, after bullying like that, never explore their sexuality outside of being straight. I personally never experienced bullying for my sexuality, but I always used to be self conscious, saying things like “I don’t look pretty enough, guys are gonna think I’m gay” I come from a pretty open area and being gay has never been considered “bad” but I’d also never really met anyone I knew was gay at that point. It wasn’t until I was 15 and I had my first crush on a girl that I realised I wasn’t straight, and even then, if people told me they thought I leaned more towards women or anything “lesbian” made me really uncomfortable. There’s always been negative stereotypes online about gay and also lesbian in media, and the word gave me genuine discomfort in being called that? Like why would they say that? Eventually I realised I DO lean toward women, and even more recently I realised I AM a lesbian. I’ve never felt any attraction towards men and it took me 5 whole years after realising I liked women, to realise I ONLY liked women, and 19 years to realise I don’t have any attraction towards men lol. A lot of people struggle with self identity, and many people go through multiple labels in their lives and that isn’t a bad thing at all. Realising your true self can feel so good! And I’m really glad OP of that story is figuring himself out and isn’t necessarily ashamed of it!

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

I can totally get this

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

I'm here if you need to talk

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

@jellykittens2126 I am so sorry.

[@LadyJustice838]

In the wise words of Mel Horowitz, “You divorce wives, not children.” lol This. I can’t help but hear that in his voice. lol

[@mandyrobbins1]

OP with the house situation didn't dodge a bullet, that was an RPG...as soon as he didn't get her to do what he wanted, he became violent, that was a peek into her future...glad she noped the hell out

[@tommyhaukedalhansson2797]

Story 1 If you can’t live with it ,you can’t . Walk away.

[@Dohyden2]

There'a a timeless saying here for the wife who kicked out her husband. "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes". You are the one in labor, you're in the driver's seat, you were totally justified in kicking him out. Having to look at someone you are mad at / betrayed by while giving birth would distract you from the thing you need to focus on at hand.

[@Dohyden2]

Woah that husband is a total scumbag! "This is my room, I'm the victim you're a c-word" This man is wearing all the red flags, and is actually showing just how urgent it is to get away from this person. What a mess, I feel so bad for OP.

[@jwwwwwwwwwwj]

@@Dohyden2 I wonder if there's another update- and even if there isn't, I hope she's doing okay.

[@eclipse849]

At least OP gave it a try and decided to leave when he realized he can’t trust her anymore instead of acting cold and harsh and staying in a marriage he doesn’t want

[@teacheschem]

A year’s worth of rent being $12K is too funny to me!

[@logan64528]

Why is that

[@raz7573]

@@logan64528 That’s 1K a month. That’s mighty cheap rent.

[@Ouja]

that's his half of a years rent. where I live, a 1 bedroom runs about $2k a month on the high end, $$1200 a month for nothing fancy.

[@logan64528]

I live in a one bedroom apartment and I'm paying 615 a month 590 for myself and a 25 dollar fee for my cat

[@raz7573]

@@Ouja Same here. If you want a 1BR in a halfway decent neighborhood, you can expect to pay at least 2K a month.

[@FanFicnic]

That last story out here making me cry. That genuine smile Lela’s brother described?? That will always be the number 1 thing I point to. It’s like the person blossoms. I could never deny any one that joy.

It was good but man the comments were very rude by disregarding Lela's identity ande also pushing the LGBT community, it came off very cultish.

[@mkay4]

1:40:00 I feel so much for Abby. I’m glad she’s doing better but it makes me so sad that she had to go through that. I hope she doesn’t have any contact with her mom.

[@katieb.1184]

right? jfc... I have a kid with ADHD and another with ASD... I'm sitting here going... both these things come with social issues. and while "lame" is not a word I want my kids using because of the denotation... I grew up using it as a very mild insult (like on a scale it wasn't even as harsh as jerk in our school). and to make a kid with social issues call and embarrass herself to every girl in the class??? at eleven, an already awkward age? At least check with the "insulted" friend first.

[@absolutelyridiculous6743]

@@katieb.1184 Exactly 💯. My own daughter has ADHD and if I punished her for every little infraction she'd be in constant lock down. "Lame" wasn't used as a severe insult by Abby, just a term of frustration based on the situation. Even if Abby said it to her friend's face, a simple "I'm sorry" could have fixed this completely. 😔

[@enkiimuto1041]

Jesus christ, the girl is just frustrated with her friend and the woman decides to bully her daughter.

[@OhCyrus]

Everyone has ADHD these days smh. I can’t..

[@totitelevisionshow]

@@OhCyrus everyone is an ahole these days smh. I can't... oh wait, you are one. my bad.

[@tommyhaukedalhansson2797]

Story 3 ? Get parental rights for your son , and leave your wife, if she want another child, she can find another donor at the local pub/ club and abuse that guy, not you, if she want it strong enough ,she gonna be pregnant with or without you. If she get pregnant do a DNA test

[@ladyv5655]

"You don't get to say no" ? WTF? I doubt her violent, mean behavior was completely because of her pregnancy. I think this is who she really is. If OP wants to stay with her, he needs to get a vasectomy post haste.

[@yourlittlevenicebtch4258]

I mean for her to abuse other men would be bad too, get the woman a therapist

[@humanbean852]

The Abby story twist was absolutely crazy. I thought the calling the friends was old timey so that kind of tipped me.

[@LightSage89]

The transgender woman story at near the end made me feel so sad for her. She was so poisoned by conservative family members that she really believed something was wrong with her to the point of going missing. And the OP considers her a woman because she passes? No wonder OP's sister was obsessed with passing. I'm really sorry that transgender people feel that they need to pass to feel validated as their correct gender. They should be validated whether they pass or not.

[@BrennanCh06]

Lol no

Good work on completely ignoring her wishes, Lela is a girl, full stop. But go ahead keep pushing that she has to be part of what is more and more like a cult and have to be labelled the way YOU deem she should be. Also if you think that some big hairy guy should be able to just call themselves a woman and be done with it, you are joking. See it is the comments at the end of that story and crap like this that make me glad that while I am Bi I will NEVER have anything to do with the LGBT Cult, they are no better than ultra right wing religions.

[@WadeAlma]

You can pretend to be whatever you want. But nobody will follow your delusions if they don’t believe it. He knows it too.

[@hilaryc3203]

1st story, it's been two years. If it's not working for him, it's not working. He tried, but he needs to be upfront and honest. He can either call it a day or he could see a therapist just to help him see things with clarity and to help him make a decision without guilt - he did make an effort and that in itself is not a binding agreement. It sounds like she needs therapy as well, on her own.

[@2102082]

That pregnancy story is a bit of a ride. Even through the first update all I could think was she’s already pregnant, either from the OP or from a potential affair.

[@theilluminati682]

The husband pulling a prank on the pregnant wife sounds to me like a low grade narcissist. A narcissist blame-shifts, gaslights and manipulates but a low grade narcissist acts very childish and is not as harmful as a regular narcissist. That husband sounds like a low grade narcissist. Although he may not be as harmful, the wife will soon get really exhausted since he will continue acting childish and never grow up.

[@tonicus123]

1:19:00 I feel ya, man. Everyone thought I was gay in highschool and first 2 years of college. I was a late bloomer, and after first relationship or 2 found my student and became a ladies man for a bit before finding my now wife. Everyone develops different and even if you stay the same as you are now, it's how you grew up and not their problem.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

Some people just can not forgive cheating, I am like that, I can never forget that or forgive.. because cheating for me is DISRESPECT...if it happens once it will happen again. Same as hitting someone, physical and mental, emotional abuse. Once one step over that boundary it is over. People that respect you as a person at least, not even love, just regular respect, will never cheat. They break up first.

[@socialmoon]

I feel like anyone that accepts their cheating OH back has zero self-esteem. It's like discovering faeces in the meal you're eating, but continuing to eat it anyway.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

@@socialmoon This is the best metaphor for it "discovering feces in the meal you're eating, but continuing to eat it anyway" ...Brilliant mind, I like it.

[@socialmoon]

@@HodajuciParadoks Thank you! :)

[@silveritea]

The first story about the cheating wife - what makes cheating so terrible is the betrayal of trust. The sex or emotional part is actually incidental to the betrayal of trust.

[@mikehilbert9349]

Nobody accidentally cheats. She made a conscious decision to ignore the basis of her marriage, trust and love, for a quick tussle in bed. OP tried, but she destroyed the trust.

[@kessiawright1710]

It takes more than DNA to be a good family.

[@RockLikeAStone]

My friend used to always say I was a lesbian including an ex bf I was still friends with and while it was supportive and in good humor I definitely yelled at them one day about how they didn’t get to decide my sexuality. I’ve never heard about it from them again. I however am pansexual and they knew as much

[@syrusorelio2309]

The only comment I ever got on what my sexuality might be was once when my dad tried to encourage me to go out and date, that he wanted me to be happy even if I was happy with another girl, thing is in just not interested in dating at all not sure of my sexuality tbh, I can see beauty in both sexes but I don't feel particularly attracted to it in a sexual way more just an appreciation of complementary physical attributes in all shapes and sizes I also tend to fixat more on animals but again not in a sexual way more a nature is amazing and beyond sort of way I've been fortunate with not having to deal with unwanted comments on my sexuality or appearance as I'm sort of too average to draw attention and I personally like it that way, if someone needs me to look a certain way they're not worth my time as imo is more about personality and actions that really make a person

[@RockLikeAStone]

@@syrusorelio2309 I’ll admit it was when my friends and I were younger, dumber and drunker. And in their own bad way they were trying to reassure me it would be okay. That was sweet of him to come talk to you about it, even if he wasn’t spot on. Sexuality is such a weird complex thing to me. I’m personally and openly pansexual because I see the beauty in a person/personality not their gender and am sexually attracted to all sorts lol 😂

[@chb5628]

I this is a bit different then the op's story but I can relate. My parents got divorced when I was 9. My mom started dating this man when I was 10 and got married to him when I was 12. I knew this man for 12 years and he was officially my step-dad for 10. My mom died when I was 22. I still considered him my step-dad. He wasn't the best parent but he was still my step dad. Anyway, 6 months after my mom's death he broke contact. sold the house and moved away. Starting dating another woman. I tried to contact him but no answer. About a year later I found him at a church me and my husband were trying out. I was excited to see him. He introduced me to his new fiancé. The fiance was not happy to see me. She frowned and walked away. My step dad said that he can't see me anymore. How it's not healthy for us to still have a relationship after my mom passed. He is moving on with his life and I should too. I was so hurt. He was a member of my family for years! I don't care how it looks to other people. Kids make a relationship to their authority figures and its terrible to be rejected like that. The op should still be able to be there for those kids that he helped take care of.

[@Cheese_steak_]

Bro and that pregnancy story imagine how different people would feel if a man treated his wife like that when he was having medical troubles

[@velentr]

The second it became physical, I would had left her. Litteraly _that_ very _second_ : turn on my heel, pack my shit, out the door, call her relatives to deal with her while she is pregnant, divorce papers next day. F that and frankly, F her.

[@nikkismith2858]

Have heard a Reddit story like that. Guy was on painkillers was heavily abusive without them throwing things verbally abusive once had them was “nice” he had an accident she (wife/long term gf) was effectively a live in carer

[@get6149]

The bullied kid for them thinking he's gay was in the same situation and the bullying convinced me I was bi until my mid 20s when I realized it was a coping mechanism sounds like the same thing happened to you

[@rosebenton1126]

We live in Virginia and my daughter at age 8 dyed her hair pink. And the school told us she could not have it. She looked at the administration and said then the girls with “fake hair” (IE weave or hair extensions) should not be able to have colorful hair. She won and has had crazy hair for the last few years she is now 12. I just supported her in what she was saying because she was 100% correct. If need be we would have taken it to school board.

[@kitayawolfe1548]

As a black woman who wears colorful weave/wigs because dyes either don't take to my hair or would damage it, I will absolutely go to bat for any child who's being punished for their hair. It's a form of self expression that isn't harmful. It's like wearing a T-shirt. It doesn't hurt anyone and makes that child happy. Any school who tries to punish a child for that should be called out. And the fact that OP's son's school tried to say that wigs aren't allowed is BS. That discriminates against the black people who wear wigs in school to protect their hair or to have different styles. That's not a medical or religious reason. It's just hair. They just wanted to push toxic masculinity and punish OP's son for being "feminine".

[@terrahatvol7960]

Gosh the one woman who posted a "fake" story to get validation of her own experience... I feel that. Honestly, when the "punishment" was stated, I feel like it was something my parents definitely would've told me and it seemed like an older mindset. Heck, I wonder if it's why I was so overly polite and had a hard time being "casual" because I was worried about offending someone for people not knowing I was joking. Kinda tempted to post a story of my own experience lying like this, as the mom rather than the kid. Alsooooo yeah,finally learning I might be neurodivergent which would explain a lot of things lol

[@strandedinseattle9931]

Story 1: I feel for OP so much. You just never forget what they'd done, and it does affect you with intrusive thoughts and triggers. It's not an easy road to healing a relationship. I can see why he wanted out - but he's still going to have those thoughts with or without her there. It takes a toll on you.

[@jakeand9020]

I only wonder, did she cheat on him, or did she convince herself she cheated so she didn't have to cope with what actually happened?

[@ladyv5655]

Wanting to leave doesn't make him an AH. Throwing it in her face after forgiving her would be an AH move. OP just needs to be honest and leave sooner rather than later and not drag out the pain for both of them.

[@AngelaVEdwards]

And his feelings are his feelings. He's doing right to work with them instead of attempting to deny them for the rest of his life. That wouldn't bring him any peace at all.

[@lisachristoph437]

For the husband whose wife went nuts during pregnancy, if you want to stay married, get a vasectomy now

[@kbf9644]

Bless the sisters in the last story. Their childhood was crap. They were raised to be bigots to the point one has devastating self-loathing issues. Years apart. But they’re back together and they can be there for each other. I’m so glad OP felt they could try with OP and I love OP for simply seeing her sibling that she loves and for that breaking through any programming from childhood. It’s not a happy story but I think it a very hopeful one.

Only if the LGBT cult dont attack her for not adding Trans to her identity that she clearly does not want, nor wishing to be part of it. As a Bi man I refuse to have anything to do with that so called "Community" as they show so much vile disgust and hatred towards any who dont follow their strict beliefs, almost like a religious cult.

[@carlrood4457]

It makes sense that "normalcy" reopened the wound. Now, she's going out more and interacting with people the OP doesn't know about. It's easy to be loyal when the options for relationships are severely limited. Now the trust issues resurface. There's also the attitude that she's put in her time and now is going on like things were before.

[@artteacherforlife]

I taught in NC public schools for 20 years. In 2015 I got lice from a student . The issue is we found out I was allergic to lice and it created huge whelps on my head so we HAD to chop off my long locks to get rid of the lice. They happened to be super lice and no mater what we did (besides cutting all my hair off) worked. I was devastated. I also knew I was going to a lot of “why did you cut all your hair off?” from my students. I was an art teacher and taught 600+ students at two different schools…. So the solution I came up with was to dye my hair purple. Reason 1: it would make me feel better about all my hair getting chopped off . Reason 2: instead of my students asking why did I cut my hair it would be I love your purple hair. It worked. Also before class started that day I went to my principal’s office and told him “If students come to you and tell you the art teachers hair is purple, it’s true. They did not have a dress code for teachers that said we couldn’t dye out hair a strange color. My color brought out more dyed hair, face piercings in my school system and they couldn’t say anything because it would cause me mental distress. BTW if there is not a written policy for dress code it cannot be enforced. It also has to be approved for each school year. It can’t just be “determined” by staff.

[@kessiawright1710]

I have a relative married to a woman who was diagnosed with an explosive behavior disorder. She was hitting him, screaming at him and their child. One day, he had to break his kid's door down and he found his wife choking their child. He had to get her off of their child. The child told her teacher what happened, who reported it. A social worker called the mom and told her what her child said. Eventually, a judge kicked her out for a bit. When DCS found out what the SW did, she got into trouble. Anyway, the wife got diagnosed and put on meds and is now back in the home.

[@Jax_Destro]

I don't like that phrase, "Racists don't like being called racist, and abusers don't like being called abusers." It is true, but at the same time innocent people don't like being called something they're not. Especially when it is something that can ruin their life if people believed it, or didn't want to even risk it being true. This phrase, and variations of it, are so often used as a gotcha, "See, he is mad that he was called this damning name, it has to be true."

[@felicitysmith2213]

The sad part is, no, not everyone comes around eventually. There was a story a little while back about someones uncle dying and the nephew didnt even find out that even though his uncle had remained married to his aunt-he had a gay life partner he had spent a lot of years of his life with on the DL. And that is the sad fact for a lot of people in the LGBTQIA+ community. Not everyone is able to get past the shame and stigma.

[@CindiLyon]

Like Cher's dad said in Clueless, you divorce wives not children.

[@missflowerpower8724]

The high school hair policy… SERIOUSLY… the DISRUPTION comes from the administration!! As a “child of the 60’s” I cannot believe that HAIR is still an issue in 2022!!!

[@tommyhaukedalhansson2797]

Story 5 you have witnessed the outfit changes and your husband crying to you about it , it’s basicly all you need to know to kick her out , you did and no reason to feel bad about it. If i take in a friend and gf feel uncomfy about it , homie be gone she’s not Even your friend but SIL’s friend maybe SIL want to replace you with her ?? Food for thought tho

[@patc4586]

To the OP who's ex boyfriend is romantically obsessed with an avowed lesbian: Yep, exactly how I would imagine dating *Gaston* would turn out. (Only, he's truly obsessed with himself.)

[@fluidwolf]

The fact that schools can decide some hair colors and styles just aren't allowed or appropriate and can just make up whether they are allowed or not on the spot while not having any documentation or any actual rules regarding it for the students and parents to follow is just dumb. How can you follow a rule they can literally change on the spot and make up crap for whenever they want?

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

I just started listening to missing brother/scam story and my first thought was that the “scammer” she was talking to IS (or was) her brother. I’ll see if I’m correct.

[@sandrajohnson6810]

How could this husband think any prank was funny. He caused himself to miss the birth of his child because of his immature behavior. His mother needs to tell him to grow up.The story if sexual harassment : Is it possible something was going on between SIL and friend.

Especially at that moment? Damn dude just excuse yourself, let rip in the hallway and come back, you got years to stink up the place near your wife, make her gaga and laugh about it and blame her.

[@maximielos]

Man, that last story made me sad. I am a transman and I also went through a phase of not wanting to identify as trans. The community may not be the best, but I have accepted that I an trans and I an okay with that and hope the sister will be able to accept whoever she is without having to hide or feel disgust about any part of herself.

[@bluekittyhorse]

1:32:40 / Abby's story. My best friend literally calls ฬђ๏гє all the time (I'm aegoromantic aegosexual) and has me saved as "Genetically Modified Architecture" in their phone (inside joke, might have 🐀's around it cause I can't remember if they kept them or not from when it was "🐀rat🐀"). This ~5'4", nonbinary goblin with angy issues bullies me constantly, but I hit them right back cause that's what our friendship is. We genuinely care for each other and really like each other's company, but we're absolutely going to beat the crap out of each other verbally (with the occasional punch to the shoulder and pillows chucked at one another). Sometimes friendship is little (or big) insults, dumb comments and actions, and what can come off as bullying. It's fine, and if something ends up being not fine, most friends will try to talk it out and agree that one or both of them won't make certain comments/call each other certain names/do certain things.

[@ShanaMoe]

The bday party one was interesting. It was absolutely obvious why abby called her friend lame when the others asked for her. I HATED this about my "friends". You automatically feel like a host. "wow what a great way to meet my other friends, thanks for providing free food and space, can you go away now" And what OP is doing is basically Reparenting. I've never really thought of this as a possible way to do it, but that's a good idea. My therapist always tells me I should try it, but I just can't. Maybe I should also post on reddit lmao

[@jakeand9020]

1:10:10 I am 100% against poisoning a child against their parent. Stating facts once a child is old enough to understand and make their own decisions is not "poisoning them" against him. You would be surprised at how young that is. Be careful, stick to the facts, do not give them the conclusions as to what this infers about that parent. Do not initiate, the child will ask when they are ready. Make sure to include any good you can. The major problem with poisoning them against a parent is they ALMOST invariably reach the conclusion that they carry traits of that parent. If you demonize them the child will naturally conclude they are half demon.

[@Greeneyedcat99]

I am so glad she didn’t fall for his crap. She would have never seen that money again.she was very smart. Unfortunately these days most women would have just blindly handed over the money. Women need to smarten up and quit supporting losers and start spending that money and take care of their kids.

[@TheSharona10]

“She has two entrances into her driveway” 👀

[@helookalikaman79]

21:50 If they ban "Unnatural" hair colors have EVERY school employee checked , highlights and lowlights are "unnatural" then round up all the "Karen" haircuts as THEY are a distraction... And with them not allowing wigs, they can have every employee and student remove any weave as they are unnatural... They want to play the game; they will have to play by those rules... Hell they should have employee "check points" at every entrance to the school grounds, if ANY human does not comply with the "Natural" rules they cannot enter, no matter who they are... Postman has highlights, nope you cannot enter... Try red hair color get as close to red as naturally possible... "Legitimate religious, cultural or medical reasons" YOUR culture allows wigs, and unnatural hair colors... No need for their "approval" as you cannot change your culture and "Culture" is subject to any amount of people...

[@raz7573]

That’s right. And any staff member who’s grey has to let the grey come in. 😄

[@crash92la98]

Get a grip. It's electric blue, and not a blonde highlight. When they say natural hair colors, you know damn well what they mean. Quit nit-picking. 😂 Them not doing anything about the girls does void the whole argument though. (The school's argument)😂

[@helookalikaman79]

@@crash92la98 NO SHIT... The entire argument is "NATURAL" highlights are NOT natural... Don't like electric blue hair DON'T look at it. not your body not your choice. Maybe if the students get together and ALL get their hair electric blue the admins wouldn't have anything to complain about... Suspend them, the school would be empty if there are no students, the admin wouldn't be needed... to protect their jobs they will drop this bs...

[@crash92la98]

@@helookalikaman79 🤦‍♂️

[@helookalikaman79]

@@crash92la98 Hey if you want to live as you are told be my guest but it will not require the rest of us to do as well

[@itsjustmaddisen]

48:00 “I’m not an abuser, but I’m going to verbally abuse you!” She’s an abuser, but she legitimately sounds like my severely bipolar grandmother. Apparently she became extremely religious when she was diagnosed with bipolar. She’s abusive though, no doubt about it. I’m glad OP took his son and left for his safety-it’s also nonsense having kids just to have one in a specific gender. Even if they did have a daughter, she would 100% treat the daughter like the golden child and treat the son like shit. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

[@angeleyesgreen1586]

I really really really hope op takes his son with him when he leaves. His abusive wife does not love their son. That little boy will be hurt by her. No doubt about it.

[@TheLugiaSong]

Never understood why schools supress self expression. In my secondary school, they banned heavy makeup, unnatural hair colour and only very subtle jewellery allowed. Bear in mind this was atop a very strict uniform policy. Teenagehood is when people need to experiment with identity and self expression the most, it's ludicrous the amount of control they put on people...

[@naoko7184]

My friend’s sons went to a school where they wore uniforms 4 days a week and then whatever they wanted on the other. She said the teachers told her they hated the non-uniform days because discipline problems went through the roof and much less teaching and learning were accomplished. Not sure why that is, but if that’s the case then strict dress codes may make sense from an educational standpoint.

[@richardcrary2848]

As far as I know a fifty thousand dollar gift is taxable under most circumstances

[@sachicocoa9013]

34:54 Wife wants to have another baby despite both agreeing never to get pregnant again after her first pregnancy being a nightmare

[@mbcrandell7766]

As an adult, my husband and I worked together to deal with this issue that occurred during my second pregnancy. We gave ourselves time to deal with the emotions. We decided to work through it together and lay it to rest once the choice of staying together was mutual. Fast forward several decades we were besties and happy. We never once regretted that. He passed away a few years ago and I look back with a full heart of the time we had together. It can work as long as the two people involved are willing and able yo forgive

[@yourlittlevenicebtch4258]

I’m gonna sound awful for this but were you ever abusive? Physically or emotionally/mentally

[@angeleyesgreen1586]

Ikr? She's already abused him and he stayed based on flimsy excuses. She's never gonna be okay with him saying no. If she believes he's not a person worthy of kindness, respect, and love, she would've think anything of getting him into an altered mental state (drunk, sleeping pills, etc) or sabotaging the birth control. If I were op, I'd be terrified without a vasectomy and a bulletproof condom

[@sgtjarhead99]

You can NEVER get over being cheated on. Not completely. When the trust is gone, it's gone. The lockdown only slowed down the inevitable.

[@prettygirlSC34]

32:38 had me rolling! I fucks with you markee 🤣🤣🤣

[@pagee7452]

She should call cps on her husband

[@TheCreativeCommoner]

Prank Story: I had an ex that would throw jokes my way at my expense and couldn't understand why I didn't like it. Dude, I'm not one of your bros, I'm your significant other so please treat me like it. Edit: The bday story made me cry, that's just so sad

[@tegantalks9612]

1:00:00 op is NTA and the husband and MIL suck. I know if my sons did something stupid like that to their wives I would 100% be on the wife’s side and chew my sons out for being so stupid. I get why OP isn’t close to MIL. Also, had either of the fathers of my children pulled a prank on me during labor I would have asked them to be escorted out as well and not let them back in. Giving birth is hard and it’s a time where you feel super vulnerable, scared, and in pain (especially with your first) and you don’t need that shit in the delivery room.

[@pagee7452]

Please divorce that good for nothing husband

[@ZombieSazza]

“I did use the word abuse, which maybe I shouldn’t have as it set her off…” OP it’s commendable you even stayed with your wife during that period, she was highly abusive, but she refused to acknowledge her actions, started shouting at you, calling you names, emotionally manipulating you, following you around and trying to continue the argument. OP your marriage isn’t a good marriage, it’s not healthy in any manner. I’d be out of there in seconds, because she isn’t respecting you at all. R U N. Example? She couldn’t wipe herself when pregnant, but had the energy to throw cups at you? Strange.

[@conner9973]

I hated the story that involved the boy who’s parents thought he was gay, not because of the gay bit but because after he came out they did a 180 and said he was just going through a phase. They need to make up their minds, are they supportive or not.

[@334yopf]

I think that was a comment on the original post. The OOP doesn't tell us how his parents reacted

[@Bijecarli]

"DAT MUHFUKKAH" LOL chef's kiss material, Markee

[@slimeinabox]

Sometimes, just sometimes, you can forgive a cheater. Keep that in mind.

[@rubystone9074]

I would argue that it really all depends on the circumstances, not to mention how strong the relationship is overall. Even then though, very rarely does it work out, and if it does work out it will take years. Maybe decades. Also the BS has to put in more of the work than the WS, which is a great sacrifice not many are willing to make, but again, it depends on the circumstances.

[@icarussisyphus5201]

You never confront until you get proof, not for the divorce but for the court of public opinion after the divorce.

[@hilarymurray8741]

Second pregnancy issue. While having a lot of sympathy for the health issues the lady had during her first pregnancy, a lot of the behaviour described by OP was not caused by health issues in the pregnancy. These issues may remain under the surface until the couple get relationship counselling as to why she did the things she did. Their relationship is on the line with this anyway, If and when these issues are tackled, adoption is an option.

[@swedishmeatball4382]

But the wife wanted a mini-me. Considering how she is portrayed in the story, and the fact that she apparently could't care less about her toddler son, what she wanted was probably a human doll to dress in frilly clothes and take cute pictures of. An adopted baby might resemble her but most likely not, and if she didn't care for her son because he looked more like his dad, she would not want a baby that looked... different. And if the adopted child turned out to have issues, you can bet she would insist on "rehoming" such "damaged goods". Strong Stauffer vibes there.

[@mynights85]

My daughter was 5 when I looked at my hubby and our friend that was visiting, all three of us looked at each other and said something along the lines of " she's gonna be a lesbian" she came out, reluctantly, due to a relationship problem at 12. I was like, yeah I know, so? She was speechless and we later dealt with the problem. But under no circumstance would it have been OK for us to out her. It has to come from the person themselves.

[@Tyggs42]

In the first story, he said it happened at an office party. Considering how she came back and immediately confessed and bent over backwards to make it right and clearly felt awful about it, I wonder how much alcohol was involved? Because if she was drunk, then it's likely that it was less she "cheated" and more than she was sexually assaulted....

[@barbaraunderwood1762]

Not all pregnancies r the same but this one scares me & wouldn’t have another baby with this woman. Never heard of a pregnancy making a pregnant woman violent. I had 5 , the first one I died during birth, had to watch what I ate with the others cause of getting diabetes while being pregnant. Last one I was miserable. All my babies were induced. At least she finally got on medication. Nope don’t blame him.

[@pagee7452]

First of all your sister-in-law is being an a-hole knowing that her friend is hitting on your husband that would be considered sexual harassment tell your sister-in-law she can have a friend over anymore or otherwise she will have to leave your husband is not comfortable having her in his house tell her it's your house your rules if she doesn't like it she can leave

[@thunderbob5681]

There is a simple solution to the wife who wants a second baby. Give her one, bada bing bada boom, kidney failure and you’re back to single dad status

[@om3ga109]

Ok the principal in the hair dye story made me laugh, holy shit what a troll. I can just imagine the lady's face thinking she pulled a gotcha then got hit with the curve ball. No matter who you think was right, that was funny

[@fleurpouvior2967]

In smaller schools, pulling your kid, is a legit threat, that parents can make. Schools lose funding over it. My parents both worked in all levels of education, and that stuff was dinner table talk. There is more to it than just the student body, but it is a factor, as is parents pulling their kids mid year. Bonus points if the parent sends a letter to the board detailing exactly why they pulled their child, so long as it sticks to facts and not emotional tangents. E.g. I received a letter on X date from person Y that stayed Z. When I requested the specific code it violated to I could rectify the issue in a mutially satisfactory way, I was denied. As the school is unable to provide specific criteria as to 'acceptible', and I do not wish to dissrupt my sons education while trying to achieve a potentially impossible standard, coupled with our complete loss of faith in the schools ability to impart pertinate information, my son will no longer be attending. Keep it true, and keep it professional while outlining the specific issue at hand, in this case, teachers are creating personal standards they refuse to define or share.

[@inichan8786]

The husband being sexually harrassed story: How sexist of the sister to flip his harrasment on him. He isn't the one wanting to touch her friend. Her friend wants to touch him and he is trying to get away from her and has to deal with her in his own home. Would kick both out once that line left her mouth for being sexist and acting as if a man can not be sexually harrassed.

[@happilyevernever4289]

You think someone who's capable of sexual harassment is above being sexist? Ha!

[@tonicus123]

That Taylor one was a rollercoaster.

[@annt7384]

Story 1: OP didn't deal with his feelings for two whole years, just kept them on hold and now that now that his wife is moving on he's pissed.

[@Momalaka318]

I feel so sad for the sister. I get not wanting to be considered Trans but they really are trans. The only issue I see with not identifying as trans is not being honest with partners. That's a big thing to not tell someone you would potentially want to build a life. I also understand the stigma around telling people you are trans and their reactions to it. I feel really bad for them because at the end of the day they are truly just people. I hate that there is such a stigma. I have gay friends I don't have any trans friends to my knowledge not that it matters to me one way or another. But I hate that sometimes they aren't treated fairly. I don't know how to help, but I accept people for who they are. I hate that this young lady views herself in this way. I hate that society at large makes it so difficult for them to navigate this life that we are all failing at at some point in our lives. None of us are perfect and should not be ostracizing people for being who they feel they really are. It's so hard to display who you really are to the world and it's judgments of you.

[@robinwhite4148]

I had 5 kids 4 natural. Largest 8lb 5oz, smallest 6lb 2oz. If my hubby farted for giggles when i was giving birth, Geoffrey would have been an only child!

[@cristalboissonneault5502]

My dad and first step mom got divorced when I was 8 my biological mother was never in the picture and my dad did remarry 2 more times after my first step mom. These other step moms and I were never close as i was with the first one. I am now 35 my kids call her gramma and she is still mom to me. You do what's right for you these kids will appreciate any involvement

[@allisonickes8173]

It's okay to be deep in denial about your sexuality. I was i first thought of it when I was 13 and I didn't accept it until I was 21.

[@Nursern1974]

WTH OP dating for 10 years!!?!?! Why do you continue to stay with this person?!? Have some self respect and put this freeloader out!!!

[@TheIronwil]

Husband Kicked Out Of Delivery: NTA. If he wanted to cut the cord, he shouldn’t have cut the cheese and snarked off with that stupid prank.

[@MountainPearls]

Former Public School Teacher in North Carolina who has been in the middle of the exact issue with hair color! That isn’t legal UNLESS it is in the student manual/code or conduct/listed in dress code (and you probably have to sign a piece of paper agreeing to the Student Code of Conduct/Dress Code at the beginning of the year. Find out if it me in there or if you did). Students have SOME 1st Amendment Rights. Take this to the District Office and refer to Tinker Vs.Des Moines (they have to prove to you if it’s distracting….ask them to document HOW it’s distracting in the future). If there is no written school policy…there will probably be next year… District Wide NOW (unfortunately). Perhaps consider contacting other parents about challenging this in the in the spring and summer months before/during the writing of the next years student manual/dress code (they revise them every year). Go to those school board meetings prepared with other like minded parents/citizens. Also speak with the Assistant Superintendent for Students for a copy of it before the Board votes to adopt it. Otherwise, they probably have to back down (if you are willing to take it that far, be aware that if you do…it WILL be written down the next year and the rules will be stricter for all genders. Overall, the Dress Code will likely become much stricter, in general, too). As for the gender discrimination…prepare yourself for a blow back on your son eventually (although good for the girls for working with him). This will probably extend to others schools now. Next year, read and study that manual from cover to cover, and don’t sign that you agree to it. If you don’t agree, challenge it immediately. You may need a lawyer, too. (Go up the chain of command after you speak with the principal. Ask for reasoning as to WHY it’s “distracting” in writing). I didn’t have my contact renewed at one school (with a terrible principal who thought he could dictate a strict moral code to students and teachers alike) because I refused to wash a spray in “unnatural color” out of a students hair AT SCHOOL without a parent’s permission! (I would never dare open myself up to such legal and ethical ramifications by touching a kid…especially their hair-permission or not! I had gotten a job elsewhere anyways, and it was the end of the year. Yet, I was written up for “insubordination to a superior” when I said I wouldn’t do it…very politely-and I explained why too). I would love to know the name of that principal…because it sounds JUST like the one I had (I moved to another school where the principal didn’t care…it is a case by case basis for these things. (My former principal was quite religious and wanted to push it, and his Purity Culture on everyone). We don’t have enough books for students, and worry about standing in front mod active sh@@ters, dealing with this stupid hair color issue is ridiculous and so minor compared to everything else we worry about! It just makes more work, and worry, for teachers…so does 80% of the “modesty” stuff in dress codes…there are a few exceptions, but otherwise those are seen as dumb by most teachers. 90% of us think it is dumb and a waste of our time to enforce dress codes unless something is just beyond inappropriate for a certain age group. I’m not talking about a bit of a midriff, thank tops and leggings etc. ….I’m talking about IN YOUR FACE stuff that can’t be ignored by anyone. For instance, a girl wearing just a bra under a blazer, or wearing lingerie with tights as a dress, or booty shorts with a plunging neck, highly cut thin white crop top with no bra, or pants that fall off-literally-when they stand up (I’ve seen it happen) at the age of 13 type “inappropriate.” I understand *those* rules. Not because I -or most teachers-look at those kids sexually, but because unfortunately creeps, and teenage boys (and a few teachers) will look… and it puts those kids in danger; it shouldn’t be that way. Unfortunately, it is a reality that a boy/grown man/or even another girl might harass/SA them (especially when they aren’t protected in the school building. Much happens on the bus, too). Also, it’s genuinely distracting for more than 5 minutes…(unlike your sons hair). Outside of things like that, most of these codes /rules are ridiculous. We are teachers, not morality police! (Or parents!)

[@anubis9139]

On the topic of schools and hair colors, my daughter has wanted to dye her hair purple for several years now, but because of her school dress code, we were never able to justify doing it. Last summer, we moved to a new area and when we went in to meet her new teacher at the beginning of the year, she had bright blue hair. That was a shock to me and I ask her about it. At first she thought I was trying to call her out on it and got a bit defensive. I assured her, not only was I not calling her out on it, I thought it was awesome. I then asked if it was also okay for students to dye their hair. She assured me it was and that weekend, we took my daughter in to dye it purple. Even though it wasn't against the dress code for students, at the beginning of the school year, my daughter was the only one with dyed hair. So many of the other kids thought it was cool and by the end of the year, about 25% of her class had random hair colors and guess what? The kids were still able to learn just fine. Dyed hair is no more of a distraction than what ever the newest Pokémon card someone got was. The part that shocks me even more is the fact that I moved from a far more progressive area to a far more conservative area. I Would have thought if either place would have been open to fun hair colors, it would have been her old school.

[@poopyouandme]

Honestly I had crazy hair colors in high school and they allowed it. in high schools they should be more lax I get middle school and elementary school but high school no.

[@vampire9545]

My fav part of schooling disallowing 1st amendment stuff is when they're literally public institutions

[@ingloriousbetch4302]

Oof. Once my "formerly" abusive spouse started spewing religious nonsense, I'd be filing divorce papers the next day. Hell no. Nope. A sea of red flags. Honestly, I would've filed during the pregnancy and would've called the cops each and every time she abused me.