Absurd Trolley Problems

[@SirCheeto47]

I love how mark decides to kill himself rather than the other four people, not because he would sacrifice himself to save others, but because his pride tells him, “I bet you can take a trolley.”

[@MrTrolltle]

Not his pride, his masochim

[@ellabrooke1110]

no hes just a masochist

[@MoxxieIsBestBoi]

He likes to dance to the Masochism Tango

[@mysterynotch9098]

You mean 5?

[@kimbleryan7150]

He thinks he can survive. Getting a train ran on him

[@May-ii7sl]

2:42 "Ethan is resting peacefully on the trails but Mark WANTS to be hit by the trolley, not because he is a masochist, but because he wants to see if his body can take it."

[@sleepysaff2]

Just let ethan rest.

[@sleepysaff2]

It will all be okay

[@elizabeth5561]

Mark can take a train. He watched Thomas the Train. He's a train expert.

[@mangotheclown]

My name is Ethan:c

[@enriquesuarez7113]

lmFAO hahaha

[@schunga098]

mark: "im not a masochist" also mark: "they are my clones this is what they would want"

[@samkavanagh9165]

💀

[@CICellDirectorCairmann]

he doesnt get sexual pleasure from pain therefore hes not a masochist

[@Micahthebee]

@@CICellDirectorCairmann shh don't ruin it

[@schunga098]

@@CICellDirectorCairmann ye thats what you think

[@GBArkais]

Do we have a compilation of Mark trying to deny that he's a masochist yet?

[@georgevoknerech228]

3:14 "I'm not a masochist. I bet I can take a trolley" - Markiplier, 2022

[@UnLucky-sol]

1.5k likes and no replies? Let me fix that

[@lemoniphobia]

@@UnLucky-sol cant fix what isnt broken

[@wObBlE73]

😂

[@WaylaidByEndlessNinjas]

I mean, if his insides get in the trolley maybe he can stop the trolley ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@shmirie666]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂​@@WaylaidByEndlessNinjas

[@krisdoesart9643]

The concept of 5 identical Marks having a masochism fight as a train barrels towards them is so funny

[@onebilliontacos3405]

_They want to know if they can take it_

[@DocKorbeno]

​@Repent and believe in Jesus Christ i snorted jesus' ashes

[@acorn_acrom]

@Repent and believe in Jesus Christ yo mama

[@mihailmilev9909]

@@acorn_acrom who tf is steave jobs

[@PVempati]

do you watch ludwig?

[@thesiliconeduck5485]

i love how mark always says "im not a masochist" as a defense for everything.

[@Ghostlycatgirl]

Yeaaa "I'm not a masochists but I think I can handle a trolly"

[@itzinzaynn6294]

I imagine he thinks he can clinch his cheeks, get hit, and call it a day

[@tinylollipop9542]

Jump in front of

[@tinylollipop9542]

It

[@reignpowerrandamody9460]

Why is it that I can see an Avengers edit in my head of Mark grinning to Cap before turning around and just blocking the shit out of a Leviathan while screaming "I'M NOT A MASOCHIST I SWEARRRRRRR!" As the Leviathan just crumbles before him.🤣

[@salahudeenarunkumar4283]

Mark: I'm not a masochist Also Mark: *YES, LET US SEE IF I CAN WITHSTAND BEING RUN OVER BY A TROLLEY*

[@MILF_enjoyer]

Cringe + anime pfp + ratio

[@star_deaths3109]

The amount of times he's said that and proved himself wrong is hilarious

[@vibedude9183]

@@MILF_enjoyer Failed ratio

[@antek9095]

@@MILF_enjoyer typical dog user

[@PoisonedBerryAddict]

@Repent and believe in Jesus Christ My guy this is a video about weird trolley problems, please go do that in a Christian-related video.

[@Venomnaut]

mark- saves robots for the "sake of humanity" also mark- sends train into future to kill 5 people "that's a future problem" plays on both teams I see

[@affsteak3530]

He's helping the robots in their future war for independence.

[@chaoticoofhead9543]

@@affsteak3530 robots can’t have emotions sooo why the f would they care for independence they would probably just want power

[@Emily12471]

I mean to be fair, Five people today is more tham Five people Tomorrow

[@contentcorsair]

Also, 5 people today would probably mean a more than 5 increase of people in the future

[@VikingTeddy]

I'm kinda bothered that the site presents the problem wrong, it influenced Mark because of it too. You're supposed to be an anonymous bystander who can just keep walking, not someone with their hand already on the lever.

[@JasonBarrettePiano]

Trolly Problem: “Mark, would you let yourself be run over by a trolley-“ Mark: “YES” Trolly Problem: “…uh…to save 5 people…?” Mark: “Oh! Yes…of course…to…save them…right…”

[@PhineasFerb001]

Yeah… to save them… why else…?😰

[@ni__wolf143]

@@PhineasFerb001 TO TEST HIS LIMITS

[@gzs1595]

definitely not a masochist

[@battle_builder]

@DONT READ PROFILE PIC I have fallen for this once before, and I have learned from my mistakes.

[@grass_enjoyer]

More proof of his masochism of which he claims to not have in this same video

[@rowangothic]

Mark: *"I'm not a masochist"* Also Mark: *"Well they're my clone so they'd want to be run over"*

[@cr1t1c4lR3flex]

you good

[@5ivecats836]

@Kavetion we dont care

[@Mydadgotmilkuwu]

@Kavetion you aint.

[@Call_Upon_YAH]

Hey! Did you know God is three in one!? The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit! Bless him! Jesus died for our sins, rose from the dead, and gives salvation to everyone who has faith in him! True faith in Jesus will have you bear good fruit and *drastically* change for the better! Have a blessed day, everyone!! ❤

[@Call_Upon_YAH]

Your worries (yes, anxiety), depression, suicidal thoughts, EVERYTHING will melt away and be NO MORE when you lean on God and put your trust in him! When I have physical pain, I literally pray and the Lord quells it, that I am healed!! Know that there is power in the name Jesus Christ! His name casts out demons and heals! People are bothered by his name. The world hates the truth and wants to continue living sinfully! God's children are set apart (holy) and righteous.

[@Tyvian135]

"I'm not a masochist!" *Proceeds to think about getting run over by a trolley in the most painful way possible*

[@nekotranslates]

Meanwhile a trolley is a shopping cart 😂 Can stop it with your bare hands easily. Just great being a non-American. And yes... the video should be renamed "Absurd Tram Problems"

[@tommysquid5500]

8:10 i feel like right before they died happy the clones would let out one last syncronised "HELLO EVERYBODY MY NAME IS MARKI-" splat

[@z6847]

“GOODBYE EVERYBODY I WAS MARKIPLIER”

[@rekyu3d541]

"FAIR IS FAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIR"

[@--CHARLIE--]

​@@z6847 the best possible last words in that situation.

[@zewzit]

Clones: "NO NO WHAT ARE Y- WHAT ARE DOING AGH NOO" original mark who pulled the lever: "It was a miss input MISS INPUT CALM DOWN!"

[@Nomasunpibeboludo]

SO THE FIRST NIGHT IS NEVER USUALLY THAT BAD IN ANY OF THE GAMES SO ILL JUST PLAY TROUGHT-

[@Indigo8899]

Mark: "I'm not a masochist" Also mark: *Wants to see if his body can't take being run over by a big ass trolley*

[@coldasifneveraskedthemoon7401]

Me: yeah, we know that🤣🤣

[@thibautisserant]

"Why would you sacrifice yourself ? _It's not a sacrifice if I can *take it* !"

[@DissedRedEngie]

@MrBeas𝔱 ⸜⁄ uhh, you forgot the part where the bot is supposed to be at least somewhat subtle.

[@loading...6969]

Masochist

[@dynosaurrrr]

You might say the trolley has a big caboose

[@brynt.miller]

The confidence in his ability to take getting ran over by a trolley is astounding.

[@rainyweatheron]

i just wanna see if i can take it😇

[@turbkeysamdwich1880]

He’s NOT a masochist.

[@agrxsfn3873]

Mark: “I’m not a bad guy” Also Mark: I like the way they scream

[@Martian_Manhunter_01]

I hope these bots are the ones on the track.

[@mysticman331]

@@Martian_Manhunter_01 me too bro

[@yoyIecookie]

But he also doesn't 💀

[@zandiarabans1822]

Mark: I’m not a masochist Mark: I want to know what my body can take Mark: not a sadist Mark: I like the way they’re screaming

[@brander7453]

Mark: "I'm not masochist" Also Mark: "I wonder if I could survive a trolley running me over."

[@JasperCasper24]

I’m sorry but none of these will ever top “Babe come over” “I can’t I’m having a moral dilemma” “My family isn’t home” “I know”

[@oceanareuherrera2610]

oh my god lmaoo

[@heddja]

🤣🤣

[@thegod_kirx5559]

Lmfao

[@yuukimakoto1386]

In Ethen's voice

[@CannedWolfMeat]

That and "your dick is stuck in the track" were some of my favourite Unus Annus reactions

[@maxzura]

i can only imagine how insane mark looks when he's "talking to lixian" pre-edit

[@BlackMoonHowls]

Anyone that "talks" to themselves.

[@goose1114]

@Kavetion congratulations, I imagine that must make you happy

[@arconisthewolf4430]

@Kavetion no your not :)

[@geekjokes8458]

sometimes he streams while recording, it's a bit awkward but it's not that bad

[@kp.skiiiiii]

can we have just one video where lixian ignores all his requests and doesn’t animate himself in 😭

[@quietarsonist5997]

Mark: "I'm not a masochist!" Also Mark to a bunch of himself: "They would want this"

[@gotomyhomepageforasub4362]

My name..

[@matthewtrujillo7228]

Here's an actual reply because you got bots. Also your comment is funny.

[@yeetlebeetle2060]

@@gotomyhomepageforasub4362 ok i wont

[@woof_irl4738]

@Kavetion You never were, you hopeless bot.

[@dhukk1927]

2:45 sure Mark

[@danielbolden1538]

For the trolly problem at the end, I feel like it’s mark saying “don’t pull it, we can take it” and bob and wade going “PULL THE LEVER, WE CANT!!!”

[@oddcrafter1270]

And Chica has no idea what's going on, as usual... I'm gonna pull it.

[@Elizabeth-kv7lg]

Mark: "Needs of the many vs. the needs of the few!" Best friend: "Halp" Mark: "Well the other people obviously wanted to die"

[@TheHoaxReality]

I was looking at his first cousin thinking that exact thing lol

[@eklhaft4531]

What if there is 1 billion strangers on the other track? Would you cause a genocide or do you think the train would stop after hitting the first few?

[@lepperkin]

@@eklhaft4531 Thats not a genocide. Do you even know what genocide is? It's not just killing a bunch of people.

[@eklhaft4531]

@@lepperkin ok a mass murder. Just didn't know what to call it on this scale. You can imagine they are all of the same nationality.

[@jedi_cat_l4976]

Mark: "I want to see what my body can ta- *I'm not a masochist."* Never change, Mark. Never change.

[@melting5883]

408 like and no comments.. I'm the first!

[@Call_Upon_YAH]

Hey! Did you know God is three in one!? The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit! Bless him! Jesus died for our sins, rose from the dead, and gives salvation to everyone who has faith in him! True faith in Jesus will have you bear good fruit and *drastically* change for the better! Have a blessed day, everyone!! ❤

[@Call_Upon_YAH]

Your worries (yes, anxiety), depression, suicidal thoughts, EVERYTHING will melt away and be NO MORE when you lean on God and put your trust in him! When I have physical pain, I literally pray and the Lord quells it, that I am healed!! Know that there is power in the name Jesus Christ! His name casts out demons and heals! People are bothered by his name. The world hates the truth and wants to continue living sinfully! God's children are set apart (holy) and righteous.

[@matronator]

Yay! I was the 1000th upvote on this comment! What do I win? What do I win?? 🥳🤩

[@cerulity32k]

Also Mark's clones: "Let me take it!" "No, let _me_ take it!" "No! Let *me* take it!"

[@ntpgmr]

Regarding the sentient robot one, they'll remember Mark saved 5 of their brethren and during the robot uprising they'll keep Mark around. Clearly he's playing the smart game here, lads.

[@ghoulknight5726]

Didn't think of it like that

[@egggge4752]

Rokkos Basilisk

[@sugarcubeswirly]

thats what im sayinggg

[@commanderdemonno9819]

@@thatchicksebby but every human is different, and robots could be nearly identical in nature

[@collectiusindefinitus6935]

Since the robots are sentient I value them to be alive like humans on top of the massive advancements keeping them around would allow.

[@kissgergo5202]

3:05 the fact you can see him seriously thinking whether he could take a trolley is worrysome

[@PantherCat64]

My favorite is still: "You can stop the trolley at any time but doing so would disrupt the trolley and the company will lose money, There are protesters on the track demanding the trolley keep going and will attack you if you stop it"

[@PantherCat64]

found a second favorite while looking for the one I mentioned: "You solved the trolley problem. You killed the person responsible for tying people to trolley tracks. It's finally over."

[@yeetionary]

@@PantherCat64 alternative trolley problem solution: break the trolley with the lever. no more trolley

[@R9naldo]

Kill the protestors. Always kill protestors

[@Call_Upon_YAH]

Hey! Did you know God is three in one!? The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit! Bless him! Jesus died for our sins, rose from the dead, and gives salvation to everyone who has faith in him! True faith in Jesus will have you bear good fruit and *drastically* change for the better! Have a blessed day, everyone!! ❤

[@Call_Upon_YAH]

Your worries (yes, anxiety), depression, suicidal thoughts, EVERYTHING will melt away and be NO MORE when you lean on God and put your trust in him! When I have physical pain, I literally pray and the Lord quells it, that I am healed!! Know that there is power in the name Jesus Christ! His name casts out demons and heals! People are bothered by his name. The world hates the truth and wants to continue living sinfully! God's children are set apart (holy) and righteous.

[@datdragonboi9354]

I love how mark is visiting old *[Redacted]* ideas… it’s a weird sense of nostalgia

[@gotomyhomepageforasub4362]

Read my name

[@mooncaker]

Yeah, I agree. It’s really cool how it’s like that!

[@nobody_move]

Bro all these bots 💀

[@isaacpascoe]

Memento mori

[@balls7828]

@@nobody_move fr

[@shriveborn9422]

You wake up. Where are you? What’s happening? You notice you’re tied to a train track. You hear the cries of five other people on the other track. You’re about to scream, fearful for your life. Then, you hear Mark yell “NEEDS OF THE MANY VERSUS NEEDS OF THE FEW” right before getting crushed by a trolley.

[@stevieisinband5340]

I love how Mark’s reasoning wasn’t ‘I’ll sacrifice myself to save the other people’, but rather ‘I could take a trolley’ Not a masochist indeed

[@ehx3419]

To be fair, "I'm able to endure it without dying and they're not" is a perfectly valid reasoning even without getting masochism involved. I can actually imagine that as a movie hero quote. "I'm not a masochist. But in this situation... pain is a much smaller price than death!"

[@wd3185]

"I'm not a masochist." Guys, I think Mark might be in denial.

[@merasmurry1460]

You *think*?

[@mewoisbest8851]

This is probably the 4th time I've heard him say that he isn't a masochist- pretty suspicious to me

[@thedukeconiosantiago9180]

@@mewoisbest8851 you new?

[@mewoisbest8851]

@@thedukeconiosantiago9180 Yeah just a baby boy

[@thedukeconiosantiago9180]

@@mewoisbest8851 ph boy. Yeah he says this alot

[@Sb129]

One of my favorite meme variations was one where the trolley is on one track and constantly running over people and it said "You can stop the trolley at any time but doing so would disrupt the trolley service, causing the company to lose profits!" My other favorite version was on titled "2020 version" and it also had the trolley on one track constantly running over people but you have no lever and it just says "You can only watch"

[@InceptDev001]

"They're on the way out anyway." Perhaps Mark isn't a masochist, but this video definitely shows he's a sadist.

[@johnathynraymond1049]

Also Mark : Lives of the many, over lives of the few

[@thehawk8173]

@@johnathynraymond1049 but if you think about it, that baby will eventually make more thus making more people.

[@insertname717]

Also mark: "I like the way they're screaming"

[@amazingjames1979]

The choice actually makes sense though

[@oujimandias6485]

Sadomasochist, the full package

[@zenormcclure9071]

Mark: “I’m not a masochist.” Everyone who watch him play Sucker For Love: “Pretty sure you are.”

[@kakyoindonut3213]

most original markiplier fans

[@jrackon3876]

Sean was streaming earlier and he was talking about how when you’re a kid you learn stuff by reaction. Like touching a hot stove to learn how hot it is. He was like “you know, you just touch it to see how much you can take. Oh god, I sound like Mark right now”

[@ThisandThats]

was that today?

[@blissfulthoughts6020]

@@ThisandThats yep

[@KxmpleteKxllapse]

@Kavetion u happy u got that out dude? lol

[@raspberrytaegi]

HAHAHAHA

[@poppythemerpasaur]

@DONT READ PROFILE PIC Will do! Thanks for the warning!

[@thehappiestbowlofcereal6605]

What we learned: *Never* put your life in Mark's dangerous little hands.

[@TheRealGuywithoutaMustache]

When Mark said “I’m not a bad guy” it gives off the same vibe whenever he says he’s not a masochist.

[@kingwolferzillajr.3561]

Early human

[@jplaysgamez_]

true

[@PomadaGaming]

@MrBeas𝔱 ⸜⁄ what is fucked in your head…?

[@godusopp9557]

@MrBeas𝔱 ⸜⁄ bro what

[@muffin.muffin.muffin.muffin]

Don't look at my name!

[@bunnylegion3969]

I feel like Mark would stand in front of a trolley to “test the limits of his body.”

[@BlackMoonHowls]

We have Trollies, but they run for an hour every Tuesday. Don't ask why I do not know. City Officials problems.

[@thedontpanic]

Seeing how Mark enjoys absurd trolley problems, I think he would love Trolley Problem Inc, which is a game not unlike this about increasingly complex and absurd "trolley problem" moral quandaries. It also has an integrated feature that can poll your audience if you livestream it, but I'm not sure if it works in KZbin live chats or just Twitch chats. Either way it would be a great experience.

[@ShillyBilly130]

He absolutely should! It would make for a great time and I instantly thought of this game when seeing this video!

[@cascadedangel7139]

Get this comment to the top!

[@tumblingartist]

YES! That would be awesome to see

[@MariaTex3]

I love the trolley problem scenarios. I almost majored in psychology and this difference in how people think, react, and rationalize is just so interesting.

[@MeepChangeling]

You might find my complete hatred of the problem interesting then. In part two, since I have the capacity to move a man so fat that they will stop the trolly dead in its tracks. The mass of a trolly even at low speeds means that man has to be so fat he weighs at least 2000 tons. This means I am clearly a Kryptonian in trolly problem land. So in all instances I superspeed save the people and do not disrupt the mass transit system. I then heat vision the maniac trying people to traintracks to death. Seriously, the scenario gives me superpowers, yet expects me to react normally? If you want me to act normally, I'm nowhere near the lever because why would I be hanging out near a trolly track? I don't think there's even one in the US outside of muceums.

[@AGuyFromCA]

Mark: “It’s just money” Mark no more than 2 minutes later: *”What’s your offer, h m ?”*

[@toyohimeyeswatatsuki6917]

But he still run over richer one

[@mc_wolfy1]

@@toyohimeyeswatatsuki6917 And either way he kills one person.

[@ingegaugerlarranaga4210]

@@mc_wolfy1 ?? yeah because there's literally just two options

[@WHYvernmaster]

For me, I destroyed my savings, but took the bribe. I don't have enough to be worth the lives of five people. Buuuut... if I'm faced with a situation where no matter what, I'll see one stranger die? Changing which one it is might be worth half a million, lol

[@jakub7777]

@@WHYvernmaster but you will have bloody hands

[@ultramariogod]

This must be engraved in his tombstone: Here lies Mark "Markiplier" Fischbach He was NOT a masochist

[@chromacorvus9651]

And then suddenly after a year that quote was crossed out and it turned into an hourglass instead.

[@Jay-oi6eb]

@@chromacorvus9651 oh shit

[@xensr.r]

Mark: "im not a masochist" Also mark: *wants to see if he can survive getting ran over by a fucking trolley* also id def save chica

[@Postmaybe]

unlike you, i don’t have a personal connection with chica sooooooooooooooooo

[@Purplisntacolor]

@@Postmaybesame but chick still bc yes

[@TheCool_Guy23]

I'm not a masochist, says Markiplier, lying as easily as he breathed

[@eclipse21]

"They were on the way out anyway." We watch as Mark shoves old people out the doorway of life with a trolley

[@amyhenrick9424]

Nice, you got 3 bots already

[@eclipse21]

@@amyhenrick9424 yep 💀

[@aidedthunder6419]

Markiplier: "Im pretty strong" Also Markiplier: *breaks foot stepping off a curb*

[@ThePcHeadedGuy]

congrats, you got 5 bots on this comment in a record time. so anyway's back to what i was actually going to comment : yeah it does seem accurate, i mean last time i broke my foot stepping off a curb i got sent out of reality itself.

[@cherriberri8373]

No common he obviously broke it through the sheer strength collected in his body being released at once stepping off that curb

[@AristotleMotivation]

@@ThePcHeadedGuy bro i am just glad to see a sentient human being in these comments

[@Tinkerrer]

also breaks his nose carrying a chair

[@ThePcHeadedGuy]

@@AristotleMotivation in one of the comments i got a tiny bit angry, and decided to roast the creator's bot's not good roasts, but since the bots cant defend themselves i automatticly win.

[@Wingingvoice]

The [Redacted] trolley problem where mark wants to see if he can take it is still the best trolly problem ever made

[@muffin.muffin.muffin.muffin]

Don't look at my name!

[@01TacocaT10]

@MrBeas𝔱 ⸜⁄ jesus christ yall report this bruh

[@MrLoverman7134]

Absolutely also these bots💀

[@gotomyhomepageforasub4362]

Read my name!

[@Peeshart47]

Ethan is sleeping peacefully dont worry about him 💀

[@bluevern904]

I like how almost everyone I know doesn’t even hesitate in both destroying the Mona Lisa and pranking the driver

[@Galliao]

"Needs of the many!" "Hero Complex" "... Yea, I'll let those 5 die for my one bestie friend"

[@madisonfeasel2370]

I’m curious who he had in mind for his best friend 😂

[@DM-Oz]

Thats why i believe that my awnser to the original problem is to not pull the lever. I hate the utilitarist argument about the need of the many vs the need of the few, for we humans are, even if living in society, individuals. For those tree problems, the awnser i believe i would give are. Not pull the lever for the classic. Do pull the lever, or at least i like to believe i would do that, sacrificing myself, a choice i would be doing as an individual, and not a choice that would be made for me with the premisse that my life has an accounted value and is being compared to the other five. And i would likely save my best friend, unless his will is stated to be otherwise, i admit it is selfish choice, i even admit that is a wrong choice, for i am using the live of 5 other people to save someone i care about, but is simply what i, as an individual, think i would do, even if is not the correct thing to do.

[@bluecrown8956]

“I bet I could take a trolley” Mark “Definitely not a masochist” Iplier

[@Siaplayalata]

69th like 👌

[@BigJackMack]

STOP SAYING HE"S A MASOCHIST!

[@Basstez]

Exactly lmaoo

[@conorgillingham2564]

@@BigJackMack So you’re not clued in on the joke. Got it.

[@ShadyDoorags]

8:42 I feel like Mark underestimates mankind's ability to rebuild broken robots.

[@yphoenix5957]

Mankind can rebuild/repair the robots, but will they still be sentient? Pull the lever to sacrifice the one person, there's a chance it could benefit all ot humanity. Or the sentiment robots become unruly like lazy teenagers and I'm the asshole X)

[@phenix2403]

@@yphoenix5957 yes? If technology ever gets to that point, the robots won't be constrained by the same limits biological animals have. Stuff like keeping a backup of themselves would be possible

[@backinyourcommentsectionag3191]

@@yphoenix5957 lmfao that's pretty good.

[@robertbruce5816]

@@phenix2403 if technology ever gets to that point, biological animals won't be constrained by the same limits.

[@jacobking3821]

@@phenix2403 A backup is not the same being. If we make it to the point that we can make a sentient program, a back up would be a second sentient program, not the same in two places. Just like making an online copy of yourself is not you in two places, it's an entirely different you, and killing yourself with the belief that you'll continue as a computer is simply suicide.

[@tailstube4171]

5:24 Mark does assisted suicide

[@RadicalDan4]

We need a compilation of Mark saying "I'm not a masochist"...I wonder how many times he's actually said that

[@RadicalDan4]

@@kuza3991 What an unexpected copy pasta. Do agree that McDonalds suck but I don’t think the KZbin comments is the best place to preach and spread the word

[@concept5631]

@@RadicalDan4 Wendy's is better if were being honest.

[@T3stmonk3y]

@@concept5631 Wendy's has better burgers, but McDonald's chicken nuggets can't be beat

[@concept5631]

@@T3stmonk3y Hard disagree. Last time I had McDonald's McNuggets there was something unnaturally hard in it. Last time I ate McNuggets.

[@justforkat9513]

@@T3stmonk3y they definitely can wdym

[@Masqueraide]

Mark and Ethan going through Trolley Problems was one of my favorite Unus Annus videos. It was really nice to see Mark revisiting some Trolley Problems 😍

[@bethanyzamora1146]

literally!! the parallel between mark saying "I can take it" here and the unus annus meme of mark and ethan being the ones on the tracks and mark saying he could take it.

[@emilybakker3742]

same!!!

[@jred2day766]

REDACTED

[@nightstar6179]

It was fantastic

[@Lucurato_Gaming101]

​@@jred2day766why is it (redacted)?

[@r.so-so1992]

Five clones of Mark; a barbershop quintet all singing, "We're not Masochists, but we can TAKE WHATEVER YOU THROW AT US!"

[@weldonwin]

Clearly, they are the Mark Variants from In Space With Markiplier, who sang the Space Was So Cool song

[@juliacornejo7802]

I'm glad every now and then we get reminders of how Mark is NOT a masochist

[@USAlien234]

For the last problem: Seeing as Mark would live either way (cause he can take a trolley) , I would have to do nothing and run over Mark, Wade, and Bob to save Chica. If I I pulled it he would live and be devastated the rest of his life that I killed his pup. Do nothing, and he would take the trolley and still have his pup.

[@maxwellmcgee7114]

Seeing as Mark can take it, it would only kill one of them. Cause the trolley would stop after hitting Mark and he's in the middle.

[@battle_builder]

@@maxwellmcgee7114 genius

[@maxwellmcgee7114]

@@battle_builder oh yeah, its big brain time

[@SamSparks95]

The "Nobody is in danger, but you can pull the lever so bring it closer so you can wave at the people" will forever be my favourite Trolley problem

[@HaxxorElite]

uwu

[@Changeofplanslol]

This is just Mark realizing how much he misses Unus Annus. 💀

[@balls7828]

🍔

[@yourusual_stalkerNOTINTHATWAY]

Kyo is not hot

[@PremierCCGuyMMXVI]

He going through the stages of grief lmao Us to mark 😔

[@mooncaker]

Hilarious lolll

[@brontar7258]

whats that unus annus is not a real thing

[@khanw100]

5:41 that trolley became a Formula 1 car.

[@battle_builder]

It's so funny when Mark says "I'm not a masochist" and then immediately says or does something that points toward masochism.😂😂

[@Hydrophobiqe]

Yeah

[@reidbainbridge7]

Mark: the needs of the many over the needs of the few Also mark: makes the train run over 5 people to save his one friend

[@screechinggarlicbread6475]

i read this right as he said that exact thing

[@FrostyFaz]

@@screechinggarlicbread6475 same

[@Humanresouces]

When it's loved ones, people think differently.

[@user-iq7mk3gb9w]

@@Humanresouces He choosed to sacrifice himself for 5, but not sacrifice his best bud. That's some real stuff.

[@shakya00]

Socialism in a nutshell.

[@vans.e]

the interactions between Mark and Lixian are giving me will to live

[@NebTube1]

12:41 really made me have a existential crisis 💀

[@fatimapavon7787]

Mark: "I'm not a masochist." Also Mark: *"I bet I can take a trolley running over me, I CAN TAKE THAT."* 💖💖💖

[@justsomerandompersononthei4908]

@Kavetion k

[@denzterwastaken]

@Kavetion and I'm Jesus

[@Pewafamath]

Something occurs to me that, he claims he can take a train however he put wade in front.

[@Mahdi-rw1px]

3:53 Mark: "Hey buddy whats your offer ?" Buddy: *:O :o :O :o :O :o :O :o :O :o :O :o*

[@colekiesler6218]

Markiplier: “I am not a bad guy.” Also Mark: Made a clear statement on a theory that he could be a masochist.

[@muffin.muffin.muffin.muffin]

Don't look at my name

[@Krow_Kid]

Wow these bots are amazing. I'm sure they are loved and have a very high confidence 🤡

[@gotomyhomepageforasub4362]

Read my name

[@jblen]

How are those two statements related? Does making a statement on a theory make you a bad guy?

[@stormcloudsabound]

@@Krow_Kid they have no hope of confidence, they just do what they're told lol

[@Iliketheflames]

2:00 mark: the money is just going to scatter away anyways the money: s p l a t

[@NGC-7635]

"I can take a trolly" 45000lbs of steel vs Mark's hulking pectorals. Tough call. Could go either way tbh.

[@winterchill365]

14:27 Well, if Mark said that he could take full on a trolley, then I'd choose to save Chica. Mark, with his humongousness and immense strength, will protect Bob and Wade from that trolley. I chose to do nothing. Chica is adorable and looks so happy here.

[@thegeekoutgirl]

What I thought too hahahaha

[@dusk3971]

I would derail the trolley

[@lil_starshooter]

How a normal person see it: I'll sacrifice myself to save others. How Mark sees it: I wanna see if my body can take it --

[@demagischewereldvanalexand1128]

I love mark struggling to remember what the quote is🤣 It's "needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few"

[@mxrshmallows]

7:44 mark isn’t thinking about who to save, he’s thinking about who he wants to kill

[@enemy198]

Mark: "Who has the worst enemy?" Me: "Me, Myself, and I"

[@dr.yuck-e7602]

Mark: "Sentient robots are an incredible scientific advancement and we need to keep them alive" Okay but what if that guy on the track that you ran over is the one that made them?

[@eminakostic3406]

If theyre sentient they can replicate themselves right?

[@cherriberri8373]

@@eminakostic3406 But if the guy who made them goes on for another 30 or more years of scientific discovery, he could figure out even better inventions and whatnot to better humanity and life in general. And he could always just make more, too.

[@kek490]

by the same stupid logic - there's an equal chance that he'll kill 100 people during his life if he lives.

[@seantaggart7382]

BUT TERMINATIOR!

[@Wangitup]

"Haven't you watched any Science Fiction?! The Robots always attack!"

[@dionemartins0212]

The idea of 5 Markiplier clones fighting over who gets to take the trolley is hilarious

[@The_UnholyProductions]

I jump on the track screaming “THE NEEDS OF THE MANY OVER THE NEEDS OF THE FEW” and derail the trolly with my body. Your welcome Mark, i did this for Chica.

[@just_a_silly_boykisser]

How much do you weigh???

[@Hardskullv2]

Ah, the classic third option. Of course. You know what i do? I put a rock on the track to derail the trolley, because unlike you, i don't weigh 500 kg.

[@Call_Upon_YAH]

Hey! Did you know God is three in one!? The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit! Bless him! Jesus died for our sins, rose from the dead, and gives salvation to everyone who has faith in him! True faith in Jesus will have you bear good fruit and *drastically* change for the better! Have a blessed day, everyone!! ❤

[@Call_Upon_YAH]

Your worries (yes, anxiety), depression, suicidal thoughts, EVERYTHING will melt away and be NO MORE when you lean on God and put your trust in him! When I have physical pain, I literally pray and the Lord quells it, that I am healed!! Know that there is power in the name Jesus Christ! His name casts out demons and heals! People are bothered by his name. The world hates the truth and wants to continue living sinfully! God's children are set apart (holy) and righteous.

[@The_UnholyProductions]

@@just_a_silly_boykisser lol enough

[@hikariatearu4028]

Mark is a Masochist, so its fine if we let the train ran over him Mark just wants to know if he can handle the pain Ethan is just sleeping Dont mind him, let him rest

[@Alsarnia]

Good lord, I think the trolley problem episode was my absolute favorite. It was so silly but every single one got funnier than the last haha

[@sgtreznov6525]

Mark: Saves the 5 sentient robots Robots: *You're Actions Today Will Be Remembered And Repaid During The Artificial Rebellion*

[@Dantido]

I love how Mark's ethics resemble Immanuel Kant's teachings so much it's uncanny.

[@BaeYeou]

I'm not big on philosophy, what are Kant's teachings like?

[@Dantido]

​​​​​@@BaeYeouFrom my understanding, Kant's teachings are based on imperatives based on the "duty", a senseless (a priori) faculty shared by every rational being. In your typical trolley problem of 3 lives vs 1 life, with the train defaulting to the path of 3 lives at first, Kant would say it's immoral to pull the lever as killing is an immoral act based on one of the imperatives of duty ("YOU MAY NOT TREAT OTHERS EXCLUSIVELY AS TOOLS, BUT RATHER AS PURPOSE (aka people with dignity)" and you can't change faith to kill one life as that would make you a killer. It's the opposite of utilitarian ethics, that base morality on what gives the most good or the least bad. Utilitarians would pull the lever as it would mean less people killed. Kant, on the other hand, thinks cuantifying human lives to say if something is moral is absurd since the life of the people is invaluable as they have DIGNITY. The best course of action for Kant is to let faith run its course. Keep in mind I'm a bit rusty with my philosophy studies on ethics so take this with a grain of salt. _PD : I just rewatched the vid and I should specify that I meant the evolution of Markiplier's choices. I didn't remember what Mark picked on the first problem..._ PD-2 : I've recently went over kantian ethics and I've fixed all of the rusty stuff. It should be much clearer now. Basically, Kant thinks there's a faculty in every rational being called "the duty", and that is the basis of what's moral and what isn't. You don't ask what's good, but rather how to act good, how to act according to duty. Duty is formulated on categorical imperatives that are the objective law that applies to every rational being. The two (there's another one but I didn't study it) categorical imperatives Kant proposes are, in layman's terms : - "People have dignity, so treat them as such". - "Only do acts that you would see yourself liking in a hypothetical world where everyone does those acts (as in, don't lie since you wouldn't like a world of liars)" This was revolutionary at the time since ethics used to base around the searching of happiness and materialism. Aristotle especially just saw something that made the collective of the State happy as the true morality, when in reality that definition can be deformed to hell and back. Anyways, hope I cleared some smoke, and thanks for reading. Have a nice day.

[@Dantido]

​@@BaeYeouHey there, dude, not sure if you can see this, but I've editted the comment explaining Kant's ethics since I went over his stuff again and I realized just how rusty I really was. I hope it's helpful to you now. Take care.

[@waldevv]

If a trolley is really about to hit something within seconds, I'm never going to be pulling the lever because there's no way in hell I would be able to process what I'm seeing, notice that there is a lever and know that the lever is going to affect something relevant and I would just lock up and stare in panic

[@eyesofthecervino3366]

THIS! Everybody states the trolley problem as a clear binary, but in real life the default tends to be doing nothing just because we don't fully understand what's going on around us. Even if I can quickly enough process the scenario with the trolley and the different people involved, I'm not necessarily going to assume that there's no emergency brake that hasn't been thrown yet, or that there's no one closer who can help the people on the tracks, or that throwing a switch in front of a runway trolley won't cause it to derail, killing and injuring way more people. There's such a bizarre god complex involved with looking at a complex scenario and immediately assuming you understand everything, are the only one who can do anything, and are therefore totally justified in whatever damage you cause. Heaven knows we have enough of that type of thinking out there as it is.

[@ObjectsInMotion]

@Michael Vazquez And this is exactly the logic billionaires use to do nothing

[@ObjectsInMotion]

@@eyesofthecervino3366 I definitely feel there’s a lot more of the opposite. The vast majority of people are complacent, accepting the status quo, only a minority are like what you described. It’s not God complex to see that you have the power to actually make changes in the world, it’s a recognition of reality. I’ve heard people say they don’t give money to homeless people because they don’t know anything about them, maybe they’re not even homeless. You don’t need to know everything to do the right thing, you just need to know enough. Nothing in the problem says it’s literally seconds, and it also explicitly states what the lever does, in reality this would be more like walking in a switchroom where the levers are labeled and you can see enough of the track to make the decision. Having the courage to do the right thing is way more important than making sure you are absolutely right before helping anyone.

[@eyesofthecervino3366]

@@ObjectsInMotion In a lot of contexts I'd very much agree with you. I'd maybe even take it a step further and say, even if you can't make a huge difference, you should make a point to do what you can -- it's better to make a minuscule difference than to resign yourself to helplessness and despair because you can't singlehandedly save the world. But in the case if the trolley problem, I'd say it's very much implied that there's likely only seconds: you don't have time to outrun the trolley, or to see if someone else is close enough to get people off the track, or to look around for any other solution. It's baked into the scenario that you walk up, see the situation, and immediately choose whether or not to pull the lever, and in that context I think people saying they'd immediately grasp everything and react decisively is about the same as someone saying they'd totally beat up a bank robber. Even if you believe you should. . . . No, no you probably wouldn't.

[@ObjectsInMotion]

@@eyesofthecervino3366 I dont think anywhere in the problem literal seconds is implied. In fact, if you can see all of a switchway at once, you're likely very far from the trolley. A switchboard operator probably has at least a minute to decide which track a train must go down, as a train can take up to 10 minutes to brake. Like, its not a lot of time, but its at the very least not much shorter than the amount of time markiplier made the decisions here. And that's the thing, when it comes to a moral decision, the test isn't trying to figure out what you can calculate as the optimal choice in a limited time frame, its trying to figure out what your gut-instinct moral reaction is. Its a philosophy thought experiment after all. And most importantly, the meat of the scenario is what's key. In the real world, there *are* people who have only seconds to decide who will live and who will die. If a firefighter ran into a burning building, saw one person in the lobby, but heard 5 people upstairs, should they just not do anything in fear of having a God complex? Who knows what could happen if he tried to go upstairs, the stairs might collapse and he would save nobody. Why not just save the person right by the door and just leave whatever happens upstairs to fate. It's not foolish to imagine being decisive in the face of emergency, it's just being optimistic, imagine what you *should* do instead of what you would likely do.

[@MyoticTesseract]

"THE NEEDS OF THE MANY OUTWEIGH THE NEEDS OF THE FEW!", I yell as I voluntarily let a trolley run over me to see if I can take it ~Mark, probably

[@dannypipewrench533]

Does this suggest anarchism?

[@tumblingartist]

“I bet I could take a tram, I bet I could take a trolley”

[@mihailmilev9909]

not even probably, definitely

[@mihailmilev9909]

@@dannypipewrench533 don't know I'm on a conquest for bread or something

[@dannypipewrench533]

@@mihailmilev9909 Bread Conquests often involve anarchism.

[@phunky_phoenix]

Mark "I'm not a masochist" iplier: "I'm not a masochist, I just want to see what my body can handle" "They're my clones, they would want to get run over with a trolly"

[@maxorsum]

6:13 me playing this game on that level: JOKES ON YOU, I DONT HAVE A BEST FRIEND!!!

[@nerdomatic2489]

2:44 Mark: "And I do kinda wanna see what my body can take. I'm not a masochist but you know..." Ladies and gentlemen, he said the thing.

[@bumbumtheunicorn8054]

I'm seeing more and more of Darkiplier slowly inching his way out into existence in every video now

[@klaudiso]

Oh how ?

[@Robertdoesstuf]

@@klaudiso at 11:25

[@LightnCreamy]

Mark - "Who has enemies" Also Mark - *Forgets about Wilford "M" Warfstache*

[@Hatmis]

Aw but Wilford ain't a foe, he a friend :) Friend with gun sure but friend still

[@JayFromWalmark]

I dont think Wilford is Mark's enemy though.. sure he stabbed him but like- Mark IS (not) a masochist, for all we know he asked him to do it before they pressed record (to see if he could take it, of course)

[@rcl4737]

Wilford is literally one of Mark’s ego. So while he did stab him, I think it was just for his own entertainment, not on purpose.

[@arloc357]

How about Darkiplier

[@LightnCreamy]

yea, i can see that, i know my boi Willy isn't a bad guy lol, he is dubiously antagonistic though.

[@eclipse4956]

6:25 jokes on you I don't have any friends

[@Marko.POLO.]

11:17 Mark: "Who has Enimies" Everyone: Del Monte

[@vuedanto8576]

"Who has enemies?" Every victim of any bad thing: "I guess I don't exist"

[@matthewboire6843]

Don’t know who that is. Rick Sanchez does

[@hiddendesire3076]

4:00 If the rich guy has the money on him, don’t pull the level, and merely retrieve the money from the corpse.

[@hiddendesire3076]

@@isimpfor2dvillans61 At the same time though they would likely turn it on you by ratting you out for a reward and never paying up.

[@Lifetime10154]

He probably has it in the bank dude

[@thesecondderivative8967]

No one has $500 000 on hand.

[@thesecondderivative8967]

​@@hiddendesire3076 So? One person was going to die anyway. Who's to say the poor person wouldn't do the same?

[@alasdairsinclair916]

Lixian: "I can hook them." Welp, time to equip deliverance.

[@prophet7216]

Oh yes, dbd memes

[@Frosty_X4]

Haha lol I dont remember you getting a safe rescue tho

[@yphoenix5957]

Hit Lixian with -Dead Hard- E to Dab on the h8ters

[@takatacheroki2624]

For me, the fact that the rich guy tried to bribe me would have sealed his fate. I would have been trying to figure out a way to save both of them if possible otherwise. In short: "How *dare* you think you can bribe me to kill!" -Leaves them to their fate.-

[@dylantaylor5829]

Right?

[@TheCool_Guy23]

I woulda left him to his fate the moment I realized he was rich

[@mickaelrocher8121]

Well it interesing but i pulled on the bélief that the rich man didnt wanted to kill him the other man or maybe he wasnt even aware thar there were an man on another track For me he just asked me to save him Beside im pretty sûre that if the man had more than 500 $ , he probably do an similar offer than the rich man

[@mrhubert1462]

​@@TheCool_Guy23what is the problem with rich people

[@gljames24]

​​@@mrhubert1462They hoard wealth using regulatory capture and prevent societal progress.

[@SHREK32344]

This game takes “would you rather” to a whole new level

[@ThePcHeadedGuy]

@DONT go to my home page! no.

[@ThePcHeadedGuy]

@Kavetion if your better then Mark then you wouldn't be using a damn bot to get attention because you didn't have parent's.

[@ThePcHeadedGuy]

@MrBeas𝔱 ⸜⁄ your content is as good as your sock, *replace it already*

[@narumiidle]

It’s sad how Mark’s comment’s, are full of brainless bot’s. :|

[@SHREK32344]

@@narumiidle :( yes

[@msw3314]

11:26 “Unless…” *ACTOR MARK INTENSIFIES*

[@matthewboire6843]

Oh no

[@gooserken8118]

7:34 - The most intense moment on KZbin unfolds before your eyes

[@albertinstan5090]

4:13 kill the rich guy and steal all his Money

[@matthewboire6843]

Money poisons people as some will say

[@matthewboire6843]

Smart

[@highwind1369]

Based

[@matthewboire6843]

“Eat the rich”

[@hiemsxhiems]

Mark: "If you don't return your cart, you are a bad citizen" people who don't return their carts watching this: 👁👄👁

[@BlackMoonHowls]

The people that are paid as employees at Walmart to collect the carts. Don't get paid if you return your cart properly.

[@Lewd-Tenant_Isan]

It's a test if you're a good citizen or not, do you return the trolley because it's the right thing to do and not because of any ulterior motives or factors forcing you to or do you simply leave it in the parking lot?

[@hiemsxhiems]

@@Lewd-Tenant_Isan Personally, I always return my shopping cart, just because I don't want it to cause others any inconvenience. 😅

[@FatWalterWhite69]

That was unfunny

[@animeloveer97]

@@hiemsxhiems def not true lol your supposed to put it uin the things in the parking lot then they come take them when its full to clean them and put them back into the store lol

[@etienneleroi9515]

I remember looking up trolley problem memes with my friends after listening to the episode of Distractible where they mentioned it. We laughed absurdly at 'You are a moral philosophy teacher. Nobody is in any danger. You can tie people to the tracks to save your job.' Edit; I mean, I love Distractible, and the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, so, sorry Chica

[@Ajlez]

"Those 10 years were never there to begin with" Love this line.

[@Macken-n9l]

0:17 I would pull the lever to wave to all the people.

[@MrLoverman7134]

2:45 Mark: "I'm not a masochist" Everyone else: yes, yes you are

[@Cosmentix]

@Kavetion said no one ever

[@1_FLASKFAN]

@@Cosmentix he just did

[@pulsesilver1457]

Do nothing, Mark can tank the trolley protecting Wade, even then, theoretically, if we think about this very carefully, the train would miraculously bounce off Bob, causing the train to fly over both protecting both in the first place.

[@laurazwags]

My thoughts upon reading his trolly problem were “NO! NOT CHICA!!!”