The Simple Trick to Stop Caring What People Think

[@mustafaakhundzadah6297]

“When you're 20 you care what everyone thinks, when you're 40 you stop caring what everyone thinks, when you're 60 you realise no one was ever thinking about you in the first place.” - Churchill

[@smyasir0]

golden fucking words !

[@proto1132]

Now that is profound

[@guinwhite]

Exactafuckinlutely

[@MrBougetesfesses]

Churchill never said that but it's a cool citation nonetheless.

[@tamzinyim]

I'm 38 now so 2 more years to go....and I'm excited about this ! I think it's the biggest freedom one can experience ! ! have a great day everyone and stay safe!!

[@KaiCreative]

"You will stop caring what other people think about you when you have something in your life that's more important than what other people think." Deep

[@laurab9518]

I’m making that my Facebook bio

[@iRemainNameless]

That is what worked for me at a time in my life. It changed everything.

[@Obsrange5176]

Yep, worked for me. I started making a manga recently and people would usually think that I am a loser nerd for doing so or something. But no, I don't care what they think, completing this manga is more important to me than them

[@tnt01]

100%

[@Laperdash]

The fact that I believe my videogames are more important than my colleagues' gossips and believes made me realize my colleagues are just tiny whiny simple minded brats, I actually started to feel sorry for them.

[@misslibri]

I would like to add something that I observed in myself: the more I think about others the more I tend to believe they think about me all the time, too. This is usually the case when I am feeling low. When I‘m in a good mood I don‘t think about others that much, instead I Start focusing on me and the things I like.

[@willytompkins8115]

Nah people are REALLY NOT THINKING ABOUT YOU!! They are too busy with their own problems or life!!

[@Aaishamohamed]

She's saying "she tends to believe they think about her", not that they actually do lol I agree with this

[@arfinap5714]

It’s actually the opposite for me. When I think about others, I tend to think they’re not thinking about me or that they don’t care about me, which leads me having low self esteem. But same again when I’m happy I don’t really think about others or care if they think about me.

[@massages_for_world_peace8909]

Interesting. I'm the opposite, when I'm feeling low, I think only about myself and kinda isolate. Often I watch TV and ignore calls. When I'm feeling happy, I think about others and their birthdays or nice things I can do for them.

[@ayushbothra1180]

This guy just summarised the whole point of why we think people think about us all the time. And also an eye opener comment for me

[@David-qf8pr]

I feel like “self love” and “self acceptance” plays a role in it too. I was at a restaurant and a guy dropped a glass, everyone went “oooOOOOOOOO” and instead of the guy getting embarrassed and looking down...he embraced it, stood up and bowed. It was cool to see.

[@SamMartinPeakPerformance]

That’s awesome ha

[@trevorfranks69]

In real life you just don't have time to be embarrassed over little things

[@StreetfighterU]

@Maria Victoria Agao nah in the UK, for instance, it's a cultural thing. Whenever someone breaks a glass or plate by dropping it, everyone has to cheer. It's acc funny when it happens coz it goes from normal restaurant noise to just everyone joining in unison.

[@ashhcatchemall]

I've literally done this at school on drugs

[@davidm8253]

@@StreetfighterU thats a greek thing ooopaaaa

[@fijiunlimited4503]

My psychologist asked me, "Do you want everyone to like you?" I replied, "YES!" He replied, "No wonder you're messed up."

[@civilizedmonster]

Wow that's cool

[@haiqal5333]

Happens to me too and I am studying psychology.......

[@Comrade134]

Best advice I've ever heard!

[@piotrpietrzyk8026]

@@haiqal5333 Hmm, if you were a physicists you could still fall down the stairs 😁 No matter how good you understand certain stuff, we're still people

[@wildwoman4911]

I had a therapist tell me something similar about wanting everybody to like me.

[@grizzly228]

So true. I used to be embarrassed by my writing and my attempts at playing music. As I got older and enjoyed playing and writing, I wasn’t gonna give that up regardless what anyone’s opinions were. Now I have written 3 novels, multiple screenplays I’m shopping, and made some new friends with similar interest who legitimately care and support what I love to do. Almost all my friends have come from writing or playing music at this point. And it’s amazing.

[@adamjonesdrummer]

Awesome bro 😎 🔥🎵

[@MaquiladoraIII]

Top work, mate. Genuinely inspiring.

[@SmileFreestyle-hx2rc]

I used to write poetry...never had the attention span to write a book. That sounds like a lot of dedication man. Thumbs

[@andredarin8966]

Here's the overarching problem with Mark Manson's take on things: he sees things through an absolutist, black and white lens. It is this quote, however, that is a dealbreaker for me: “You and everyone you know are going to be dead soon. And in the short amount of time between here and there, you have a limited amount of fucks to give. Very few, in fact. And if you go around giving a fuck about everything and everyone without conscious thought or choice-well, then you’re going to get fucked.” Let's start with the assertion than we're all going to be dead soon. What is the definition of "soon". It's relative. The Mayfly lives for 24 hours. That's "soon". If you're a human of 20, 30, having another 50 years hardly is dying "soon". Second, how many f-cks do we have to give. Manson claims "very few". A "few" generally means less than five in colloquial English. By my count, I give a f--K about the well being of two brothers, my health, the wellbeing and safety of several pets. That already puts me perilously close to hitting the wall of the f--ks I have to give. Third, who do you know that G.A.F. about "everyone and everything". Do you G.A.F about the stranger you pass on the street? I doubt it. "The Subtle Art... ." is Manson's testament to his cynicism with an admittedly clever title that resonates with people living lives of quiet desperation.

[@alistairfontaine]

Let's make music

[@edder2000]

I’ve been addicted to learning on KZbin for 12 years . This channel by far has had the best impact on my life. Thank you Mark for being a hero !

[@Loadinger]

Dude, your channel is so fuckin' old!!!

[@mlhoudelot]

SAME SAME😁

[@lenyneduardo663]

KZbin is the best teacher

[@heybest6984]

What's the biggest thing you have accomplished or something you are proud of in the 12 years of learning on KZbin?

[@michaelloria69]

Damn. 12 years of cat vids and memes. Scholar status

[@KathrynBrock1]

Truth. This is the shortcut I use: 1. Know myself (this makes it easier to boldly act with integrity). 2. Accept the fear. Turn it into excitement if you can. 3. Do it anyway. Say the scary thing, do the scary thing, be the scary thing, whatever. Even if your body and voice are shaking, and you feel like you're going to pee yourself. Be faithful to yourself first and just do it. 4. Accept the consequences. Let people filter themselves out of your life if necessary. The trash takes itself out. 5. Repeat as often as necessary, and allow yourself to take guilt-free breaks from the process. It does get emotionally taxing, and we all need rest. Just stay self-aware, and be honest with yourself about what you're doing and why. 6. Enjoy the way life magically comes together, and notice how things seem to easily fall into place when you're living in integrity.

[@halowaffles]

The problem with carrying yourself with honor and integrity in this day-n-age, is that if you're not rich, it's ultimately seen as vigilantism. The powers that control the globe are far more superior than morality and common law. No good deed goes unpunished, and it's never been more true in today's society. I've found situations (in the U.S.) where I have to dis-involve my morality, lest I be financially responsible for a situation I was merely trying to assist in. It's a fucked up world of lawyers and law, and it's raping those who wish to truly do good in the world.

[@apricotcookie4850]

"The trash takes itself out". Wow, this is powerful for me. I have tended to obsess over friendships/relationships that 'failed.' This gives me a brand-new perspective. Thank you for this wonderful insight.

[@paradoxical_taco]

Carrie Fisher had a similar iidea when she said, “Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.”

[@laurenceshtull6777]

@@paradoxical_taco the saying is fake it till you make it

[@christhornham]

Great list. Sounds a lot like exposure therapy.

[@PeppiCry]

The last one is so true. When I cared the most about finding friends, I had only few pretty shitty folks around me. When I finally found out my purpose in life (I want to become a literature & arts proffesor at the local university), I had started thinking more about this, reading more, going to art events more. Now a lot of great people whant to be my friend, but now i don't actually have enough time for all of them, so i have to choose people very carefully to not f*ck up my spare time. As a result i don't even have to care about what they think about me, I know I have their love and respect as much as they have mine.

[@Innonthesea]

From rags to riches . To bad that popularity leads down to the path of selective compassion.

[@whiteknight9221]

I can't express enough how much I love this guy. Wise, intelligent, educated, funny. Grandiose!

[@jimboiy454]

“You wouldn’t worry what other people think of you if you knew how seldom they do.” A smart man wrote that

[@suryac850]

Moral of the story.. find your purpose in life and work on it so intensely. Then, people will start respecting and loving you.

[@Fillemexicaine36]

You can find your purpose and work intensely on it yet there could be people that still do no not respect you and love you. I think the key is not to depend on it because you are giving your power away.

[@solstice1681]

Very true, my kids asked me "mom why don't you care if people don't like you?" My answer "because I'm responsible for you, for loving you and keeping you safe, that's what I care about, and those who dislike me for it, well I'll just send a prayer their way". Yeah my kids changed my whole life for the better 🤗

[@inthe_k_now]

mine too

[@thatswhatisaid8908]

Ah, that's true. I know there have been times in my life, pre-kids and while parenting, and my answer to that question was "because mostly, they do."... I'm not so sure, anymore that they do. But, there still is something more important (now that kids are grown and independent), and i have found my tribe...so I'm not sure why this has started to trouble me.

[@arfinap5714]

Sweetest thing I’ve seen today ❤️

[@amiraboodi2075]

Great 👍

[@amirshayanmoghtaderi5840]

God bless you and your kids

[@MrWaterbugdesign]

I'm 66 and have worked at this my whole life. I started out not caring very much what others thought. When I was a small child I got in trouble and blamed others and my Dad said "If everyone jumped off a cliff would you too?" Standard Dad saying but it stuck. In my early 30's I went to nice restaurants by myself bringing no distractions like something to read (pre-smartphones). All the wait staff would ask over and over "Are you waiting for someone?" I just sit there waiting for food and self-consciousness maxed out. Slowly I got it into my subconscious that people around me really don't care about most of my life. I'm not the center of the universe. If you want to do anything you need to test the results. If you just "think" or "feel" results you'll BS yourself. It's what brains do. One of my tests was the "death test". If I died right now what would my relatives or others find in my home? How do I feel about that? Would I be embarrassed? Cognitively I know I'd be dead and the dead don't get embarrassed. But it's the subconscious that matters because that will control cognition function. It took years but slowly I was able to get to...yeah, don't care. IMO an easy test is if you're on social media...you care a lot what others think. Way, way more than most people did 50 years ago. Social media is addictive creating a harmful feedback loop of caring way too much what others think. Absolutely we should care what others think but only at a healthy level. Very basic level. You don't want neighbors to hate you and not call police or the fire department if our house is compromised. But it sure isn't important that neighbors think you're the great human being to ever walk the Earth either. Keep to yourself, keep your property up, don't make a lot of noise and you're good. And yeah I get posting a comment on KZbin is social media. This is how I journal. Typing helps me organize and think about my thoughts. KZbin works for me because I can turn off notifications so I don't see responses. When I click away the comment fades away. I assume almost no one reads comments, especially long comments. But, yeah, posting in a public space does still push up my desire to appear articulate and not a complete Mo-Mo. It seems healthy, but I'm not sure. Definitely uses up too much time so even journaling is addictive.

[@discardmyfriends]

Well said. There's definitely a balance to it. If someone truly didn't care what people thought, they'd run naked on the streets and do a bunch of looting lol

[@thatswhatisaid8908]

I enjoyed reading your thoughts and wished (for a fleeting moment) that KZbin was a little more interactive.

[@thatswhatisaid8908]

@@discardmyfriends yes! Noone wants people to think they are a psychopath. I don't care what people think about me: what sticks in my craw is when people think negatively about me and share those thoughts (gossip) without ever giving me a chance to present my side of the story. That's denying me natural justice. It's happened over and over to me in the workplace. Sorry! You didn't ask for this. But your comment made me LOL, then i got carried away.

[@ahousefellonme]

Right on. One can behave in a kind and respectful way towards others without giving a solitary shit about any of them. I’ve found myself having terrible social media anxiety, but don’t want to ditch Facebook because so many years of people I care about are there and I’d never be able to keep in touch otherwise. Realistically and logically I know I shouldn’t care what they or any of the people reading this comment think about me, but I still do.

[@Alice3456able]

You're very introspective and eloquent. Thank you for sharing your wisdom

[@MathMadeSimple777]

This is sooooo deep but it helps me realize why teaching was the bill I chose to die on. Our students need better educators, in my opinion, the fate of the world depends on it. And though I’m mocked and ridiculed and misunderstood, I come to work daily to be with my students because I want them to know that someone cares about them having a quality education and achieving their dreams. I pray that their future selves will thank me.

[@TokyoBlue587]

All you have to do is get older. The older I get, the less I care about what people think of me.

[@giftaugustine9343]

But why wait untill then? 🤷‍♂️

[@gurucharanchundi]

@@giftaugustine9343 maybe we're not "waiting" till then consciously? Perhaps that happens naturally for some people as they grow older. i really don't know. Do share what you furthur think about this

[@MrVinman711]

I heard a saying: When you're 20, you worry what people think about you. When you're 40 you stop caring what they think. When you're 60 you realize they were never thinking about you at all.

[@Boohoo19999]

Honestly you are the only person on the internet at this point who makes sense to me.

[@atharvgupta2521]

Indeed brathar

[@yisabella5550]

True

[@CM-mz3qy]

Yuval is good too I’m sure mark agrees

[@yisabella5550]

@@CM-mz3qy i think so. Mark once recommendes sapiens by yuval if I don't mistake

[@cogitoergosum2846]

Yeah, because he speaks reality not shittty ideals

[@quincysutton9136]

I’ve only recently (2022) realized how much I cared about the opinions from people that don’t give af about my goals & success. My mind shift took a hard right turn & now I’m in a business mentorship program,, surrounded by likeminded entrepreneurs 🙌🏾

[@allethahunt6565]

No quite 60 years ago, when I was in my teens, my mother told me nobody was thinking about me when I wanted to fit in by wearing clothes and make-up I saw others wearing and I should get over it. Fast forward to my late 30s and I finally internalized the lesson after attending an EST weekend. EST was mostly bunk, giving people permission to be total assholes, and totally selfish. I quickly rejected most of it. The one thing I took with me was the idea that people are so busy thinking about what YOU think of them, they are NOT thinking about you. It was freeing to understand that people, including me, are more concerned about how they appear to others and they don’t actually think what you think they are thinking about you. With that I pretty much quit caring what others thought of my looks, and a few years later I totally quit wearing make-up. It’s fucking expensive and I never learned how to apply it properly (my mother never wore much more than lipstick because she wore thick glasses so no eye make-up), and I never felt comfortable, always thinking I had on too much or not enough. I had finally, fully realized no one but me truly cared how I looked. Now I feel and live with the thought that if you don’t like the way I look without it, well, then you don’t have to look at me. That feeling spills over into other parts of my life as well. I am easier speaking in public without the worry of being judged by the people I’m speaking to. I stand up for myself and others now, when before I would have hidden in the back and tried to pretend I wasn’t there. Part of the transformation was simply getting older, but a huge part of it was realizing people are inherently selfish so I could be myself without worrying about what others thought. Truly freeing.

[@UnlimitlesslyFunnyDude]

people are so busy thinking about what YOU think of them, they are NOT thinking about you.

[@teacherjo316]

I'm Brazilian and I can perfectly understand your English, but it doesnt happen with other KZbinrs. Thanks 4 sharing all this precious knowledge. You go straight 2 the point and what u say is NOT all that usual bull shit we find out there. Tks. 🇧🇷💙

[@Geeer7253]

Inclusive acho que ele é casado com uma brasileira.

[@fijiunlimited4503]

Good writers have clear thoughts.

[@ryanimpink13]

@@Geeer7253 Poor guy....

[@neverfinished5]

Your philosophy is like a shower. Refreshes, energises, releasing stress and rise up the mood. Thanks Mark 🤝 You rock man😃

[@sidliebenson292]

I started writing songs at the age of 61, started voice lessons at 64 and started recording my songs at 66. I released my first album this year. If you like my music, great. If you don't, you don't. My joy in being able to express myself in music is more important to me than anyone's opinion.

[@goodoldschool898]

You missed the Churchill "Quote"

[@MrPedrogiorgi]

@@goodoldschool898 iiiiii

[@tejas4567]

Woah that's great what's your album's name

[@sidliebenson292]

@@tejas4567 "Opening"

[@sidliebenson292]

@@tejas4567 The album is titled "Opening". Individual songs are available on KZbin (sorry, no video).

[@kelseychow5415]

I absolutely love your down to earth no bs attitude and your sense of humour

[@tamzinyim]

this guy really knows what he is talking about so that's why he can be so spontaneous all the time!👍

[@gt2203]

My only form of transportation is a scooter for past six months, but I just bought a vacant lot in woods a half hour from beach in Florida. I am very solid in my choices. My millennial daughter cares about what others might think of me, and hasn't talked to me since scooter purchase...Thanks Mark!

[@lorenzodicapo6305]

scooter...luxury

[@man-observing-world]

Dude, so cool, do you live in southwest FL? I live in Lehigh

[@gt2203]

Panhandle now! Always on the move.

[@thatswhatisaid8908]

Sad she cares more about what others think than what you do. Kids are funny like that, but it's usually just a stage. One day, she'll be high-fiving you, just like I am now! ✋

[@gayanngodfrey2824]

😢

[@marymurray4566]

Good message. I’m struggling at work with how I’m perceived, so this feels timely to me. To everyone out there that feels isolated at work, or left out from an adult clique-there are people you work with every day who appreciate very much what you do, or who benefit from what you do. From the depths of KZbin, in this age of weirdness, here’s some love to you guys. Mark, thanks and 🥰

[@nickp6498]

I could give you a hug if I could, I know exactly what this feels like. At work people act like it’s high school all over again…gossip, cliques, etc… It’s all bullshit. Everyone’s work is constantly being compared to somebody else, everyone is talking about everyone else behind their back and then being friends with them. One day you’re in the clique, the next day they’re saying shit about you…it’s a roller coaster. When I was in the military this stuff was even worse. One thing I’ve learned though is to always voice your opinion and don’t be shy about it. If something sounds stupid, let that person know. Focus on WORK, not personal lives and gossip. Put in a good work effort, and people will respect you, whether you’re “cool” or not.

[@novadude75]

What a wonderful message, Mary. Thank you so much for this.

[@jakemurray4346]

Thanks fellow Murray, good luck to you

[@ahousefellonme]

Right back at you ❤❤

[@johanneszwilling]

Though that "tribe" is actually closer to the survival thing via income than most others

[@Kaijja]

6:25 This is actually brilliant. So the conviction deep in you of what you are doing as being right shields you from caring about what people think. You don't care about the applause and you don't care about the insults.

[@ADifferentVibe]

I'm an engineer who is working my side career of eventually becoming a full-time working actor. Many married people thought I should just settle down with a wife and kids because it's what normal people do. Meanwhile I'm making new friends and new projects while enjoying the process of doing something new so much I didn't know they cared if I followed their expectations. Their loss!

[@samxsara]

Exactlyyyy 👏👏👏

[@mk0759]

Many married people with kids live in resentful, caustic marriages or have their lives and savings obliterated by divorce court. There's no path in life without a list of significant potential cons running parallel with it. Honestly, in today's social and economic climate, your path choice probably has the better chance of being more fruitful overall, unless you think you may really want kids in the future (which, it doesn't sound like). Engineering and performance skills combined should widen your opportunities to pivot in the future if needed.

[@babysinclaire]

Marriage & having children is just stupid programming, but most people buy into it.

[@archanaharanahalli]

"Just find better people" ---"If you believe in something so strong that you're willing to be ridiculed for it" Mos definitely Mark. My art would be the answer and lately I've been working with getting over writer's block that I had since fifteen years ago.

[@Uncommon_Sense01]

1. We must care what people think to some degree to function in society (we aren't psychopaths). 2. Social rejection is associated with dying 3. We need to decide who is important enough to us that we would seek their validation (choose your friends wisely). 4. You will stop caring what other people think about you when you have something in your life that's more important than what other people think.

[@lucid.6610]

After choosing one friend and being friends for years but now thinking about that i realised that i was adjusting with him for many years, i cant be myself when i talk to him and gets irritating so many times.what to do now and whats your opinion

[@andredarin8966]

@@lucid.6610 I was in that position. Eventually, I began being myself. That was too much for him--and in two cases a "her". The guy simply faded out of my life and the woman didn't have much choice: I told her I was done. My suspicion is that if you've been "walking on eggshells" around this person for "many years", you have not had a friendship in the true sense of the word. Be yourself and see what happens. When the angels depart, the archangels arrive. There will be better friends.

[@dominiccomtois7850]

Thanks for the summary

[@noi5emaker]

The thing in my life I could be ridiculed for (and have been), is my music. The stuff I write and record. Laugh. Hate me. Go ahead. I'm doing the best I can and it can only get better! Great video. Great advice. Thanks Mark!

[@alelecci]

This comment made me curoius about your music so I went and watched one of your videos Nothing to laugh about, quite cool actually!

[@noi5emaker]

@@alelecci Wow Alessandro, thank you! I didn't say that to fish for compliments, it's honestly how I feel But thank you for taking the time to go listen. I appreciate that you can spend 3-4 minutes doing anything, and you chose to watch my video. :) Thank you again!

[@stephanripianzi4004]

Nice , I write songs play guitar, play alone in a room, Daily for 33 years now. Don’t give a damn I just do it cause it’s fun, makes me feel good! Kudos!

[@noi5emaker]

@@stephanripianzi4004 More power to ya, mate! Doing it for the sake of it is what it’s all about :)

[@alizafer6008]

the most important thing in my opinion is valuing the act of being who you are. listening to your internal voice rather than that of others is opposite in nature to seeking social validation, and caring about being genuine helps you to manage with other people not liking you.

[@Dialogos1989]

True but you don’t want to take that too far. Balance loving yourself with self improvement

[@zebraCAkes201]

I'm becoming one of those people that find being alone more fun and relaxing than being with other people. Idk if that's good or bad, but as long as I have food, home, a job and my technology, I'm fine.

[@lewiston.galtimore]

Its all relative. For 25 years, the only opinion i cared about was my wifes. Then she left and took my boys. Gave up friends and coworkers and relatives in order to take care of 4 ither oeople. Now I look around and, instead if a family of 5 people in a house, I am a single person alone, no family and no friends and can go months without hearing from anyone if I don't call them first. No car, no job, getting evicted.

[@marliesjelsma1919]

my boyfriend told me I need to realize that a roof above my head, food to eat and being relatively healthy are the only things I really need. I am still struggling with that. And I can also relate to what Mark said about finding a thing you care about that's bigger than yourself. But still then I'm struggling with finding peace in myself and really caring for something bigger. I have a child, but sometimes I feel as if she is not even the most important. I still care more about what others think, still don't think I am enough.

[@lorriepomponio9280]

Awe! ❤ Mary, the Mother of God, said, "If the whole world discards you it will be of no consequence." ❤ Hang in there! ❤

[@georgiafrancis9059]

You are correct and I completely agree because I've been that way since forever! I really like myself and my own company, I trust myself when I can't trust another person. I fell in love with good books that entertain me when I need a good laugh or a good cry. I was married once, and had 2 kids that ended up being a carbon of their idiot father. I picked the wrong kind of man to marry and that's not their fault, but the way they are living their life today is. They've only come back to me when they wanted money. I say NO everyime they ask.

[@thomp943]

Simplicity 🙏🏽

[@ailovemoments89]

I don’t know why but when he said “cheetahs can run fast as fuck” I lost it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. This video was a mood lifter!! Love it!!

[@quirkylittleplanet9721]

Me too!

[@t.quinonez348]

I have a hard time not letting people's words and judgements towards me affect me. It bothers me all of the time when strangers say things and when so called loved ones and family members say things... The weird part is I like how you said to be around better people. I've really been realizing lately that that's the solution to my problems.

[@seekingpurpose]

I always loved the saying 'when you're in your twenties, you care what people think, when you're in your forties you stop caring what people think, when you're in your sixties, you realise they weren't thinking about you anyway'.

[@MindsettoMastery]

I think it's very hard to completely stop caring about what others think about you. The idea instead is to identify your purpose and values in life that are important to you. Live your life according to those values. So even if people disapprove of you, it doesn't affect you so much. Because values and sense of purpose are more important than the opinions of others.

[@solieltheisen1356]

Correct.

[@OccamsWoodChipper]

I would agree, it's probably not realistic to stop caring entirely what others think of you, if indeed that was even a good idea (at least for most of us); we're extremely social creatures and we probably can't completely override the resulting parts of our psychology no matter how hard we try. But, I think we can get pretty close.

[@True38]

Exactly. Very True. Purpose over the opinion of others. If you slavishly and zombie-like follow the herd, you will lose yourself quickly and you will die on the inside for sure. But of course, being social, even as an introvert is to some extent important. The best way to live life is to live privately with a close inner circle.

[@zafirhabib136]

The main takeway for me is that in order to not care about what other people think of you, have something more to care about and live your life in accordance with that thing, not by seeking validation, or experiencing embarrassement and letting that take over you.

[@hasangarmarudi2178]

I recently had this sense of self awareness that what I'm most seeking (socially) right now is a person that understands my thoughts. I was wondering why, and I got the answer when you said just find better people.

[@DeerghKataria]

I give a sh!t everytime Mark uploads a video! 🙌

[@yatindrajain6515]

😮😮😮

[@iemakka]

"What is so important in your life that you're willing to be ridiculed for it?" -helping other people probably. Very much like that burning building example.

[@HusnFF]

Peace be with you 💐💐 I have school today and I’m really anxious about it (I’m a minority within a minority lol). I’ve read a bit of your book and just needed to rehear this advice. Dude, thank you so so much!! I’m still anxious and I honestly feel no better, but like you said in the book about the feedback loop, I just gotta accept it. I’m anxious, and I’m a minority within a minority, but I’ve done everything I can so why stress about something out of my hand. Tawakaltu ‘ala allah. Thank you for your sincerity.

[@LloOFFICIAL]

7:29 this made me realize that the important thing is me. I'm more important to care. I'm worth caring so much that I wouldn't mind being ridiculed over. I've sacrifice my mental heath for people all my 16 years of my life. I've made so many different personalities that go with different people that I don't even know who I am any more. I don't have a personality outside being around people. When I'm alone, it's scary because it feels so weird, not having my own personality. Just being a mixture of other people's personalities. But that's stops here. I've cared too much fr now. People are always gonna judge me. I just gotta learn to accept that and realize, their opinions shouldn't even matter. If it's not going to better me, then why should I care, right? Thanks Mark. I needed that❤

[@natural91LC]

I love how you communicate, straight to the point which for someone like me who is incredibly sensitive as the effect of toughening me up lol also give a raise to the editor, I always laugh watching your videos :)

[@JessicainTheRainbow]

This is incredible. Thank you. Especially for the harsh part at the end. Helped me double-down and focus on what matters most to me.

[@albertman900]

The only feedback you get from others drives our fear, motivates us, or hinders our progress. It is such a dogmatic practice, we don't even question it. Great introspection about our human coping mechanisms.

[@meatyay]

Holy shit, I've been reading your articles since 2013, and somehow completely missed that you have a KZbin channel! I'm so glad that youtube algorithm shoved it in my face :DD

[@deepakchander3150]

A real salute to you Mark. Not pretending. Thank you.

[@Thataaronmurphydude28]

I love how Mark Manson just swears with so much class and grace, like Samuel L Jackson! :D

[@andrewprice7505]

Great point! I've always had the point of view about what other people think about me is that "it's mind over matter." I don't mind because what they think of me doesn't matter.

[@insanoibro6331]

Sometimes I wish I was a psychopath some parts of life would be easier.

[@pthompson2113]

Yup psychopaths are usually super talented and intelligent and successful. I would say that I am one most likely.

[@tamzinyim]

maybe you are a psychopath to yourself ? I'm a psychopath to myself 😅

[@rustydube1682]

All people are fucking psycho ...some just choose to be more or some choose to be less ..

[@Joyjoyjoy4]

@@tamzinyimwhen did you find out you’re one

[@hayde4574]

The harsh truth of the day, so true, I've add... You start to care less when the fear of regret it's bigger than feeling criticized by others, for me it came in my 30's. Also lots of try and fails gives you a bigger perspective

[@carlosfurtado1164]

"There is nothing worse than trying ti be validated by someone who is supremely selfish" This.

[@angeladominiquepavia8207]

I love that Mark Manson is posting more often. Always checking for new content.

[@Dynasty1818]

What most people won't admit is that they don't really care about you, unless they need something from you. Worry all you want about how you look, and while yes people will judge you in the moment, most will forget you seconds later after walking past you

[@Faith-eu7nw]

Brilliant advice Mark - you are wise beyond your years (that’s what lots of learning, knowledge and life experiences do for a person) thank you. 🙏

[@ignaitog]

mark's videos changed my perspective.i started watching them because i bought the subtle art and wanted to know the writer before reading it. Worth it.

[@novias115]

I’m willing to be ridiculed for standing up for what I believe in such as my values as well as not always going with the flow of major trends and being independent with my thought process as long as I’m true to myself

[@sachsuccess]

This is so true! Caring what others thinks is such a big energy sap. This resonates so much with what I found when I was making a video on the topic too

[@AshleySmithh]

Yes so keen to watch! Been a massive fan of your last 3 books and only just discovered your channel!

[@essa-gs1qx]

you made some solid points that i haven't heard other people make 👌 a few traumatizing experiences i've had unintentionally made me stop caring what people think about me. i feel a little more free. i noticed that people stop caring what others think about them for 2 main reasons--they experienced a traumatizing event OR they had an epiphany. imo, it's really challenging and slightly impossible to intentionally make yourself stop caring what others think of you. you just gotta go through something. i feel weird cause i don't need validation from people at all. i just know i'm that girl, nobody needs to tell me that

[@404NotFoundIDontCare]

what were the experiences that helped you please share😊

[@marthas.4456]

How old are you? It happened me in my forties, it was very gradual.

[@phloyboy]

The real challenge on this topic is when family is that group of people who are the source of the rejection. Finding better people is hard when the tough ones are family. The family angle is a complicated one and just ditching family is not as easy as said.

[@helderpenaloza]

Thank you Mark! Keep doing more videos like these, this is fricking awesome! 😎

[@cogitoergosum2846]

The thing I care about the most is that my family matters the most to me. And no one even my family can't get in the way. If I see someone is gonna fall off the cliff and if I have anything to do about it I will do it, how wrong it might be to others

[@UnlimitlesslyFunnyDude]

in the end thats just a emotional family common love ......

[@DanielFernandez-jv7jx]

People who have a genuine and noble sense of purpose to their lives will care about the opinions of very few people, and those will be the ones who have exemplified their goals and values. Also, this sensitivity fades with age. Caring becomes less about feelings and more about doing. Cheers and thanks for the great video!

[@NiharikaAcharya77]

Needed!! Thank you Mark for this perspective ❤️

[@mikhailtolstikhin262]

For me it’s the tension to truth and progress and finding the real interest in all that truly connect with you

[@godfreycarmichael]

While it may not be possible to not care at all what other people think about us, it is very possible to care less and less as we get older.

[@user-nh4tm6hh4j]

I'm sixty and I will explain the caring what other people think problem. It has everything to do with how much you care for them. If people you love have an issue with something you are thinking or doing, you care. If a stranger does, you most likely don't care but here's is the thing. If people you love disagree enough then the only solution is to dial back how much you care about them. It's kind of a dilemma. I have had this happen to me. Years ago someone I looked up to very much seemed to disagree with me on quite a few things. The only remedy was to quit looking up to them. I didn't really want to but it did solve my problem with them. This is how life works.

[@Andrew-yn2mu]

Man i feel freakin comfortable when i see that you upload a video..

[@GypsyHawk]

Great advice and something to remember. However, I also believed that if one is dissed by their tribe or friends or family, it also hurt a lot because they thought themselves "not good enough" for the people they were conditioned to see as their equals.

[@bjb0808]

"They've surrounded themselves by petty, shitty people." LOL. Omg, I needed to hear this. I am obsessed with finding the good in everyone and it blinds me to the fact that, though that may be true, if there's a whole lot of shit you have to get through to find it.... it just ain't worth it. Sigh.

[@kittykat1383]

And I needed to read your comment, thanks for openly sharing thoughts

[@tahirisaid2693]

Reading books has really skyrocket the way I think about investing. Indeed, no one has ever got rich by saving money. If you want to become financially free, You need to Invest. I've come to realize that the key to amassing wealth lies in making sound investments.

[@tahirisaid2693]

Whichever firm you select, make sure you get your insurance from a reputable financial adviser, such as *Jenny Pamogas Canaya,* who has dedicated her career to financial planning. Because they will assist you in escalating, navigating better, and completing the task in a safer manner|

[@khadijasajid457]

I was pleasantly surprised to find that you're familiar with her as well. I've had the privilege of working closely with Jenny Pamogas Canaya over the past few months, and she has not only helped me earn substantial profits but has also been an exceptional mentor and trader. Her ability to navigate various market situations is truly remarkable, and I couldn't be more satisfied with our collaboration-_

[@mountaindewaddicted6101]

But does that have to do something with this video?

[@theoneandonlyairconditione8110]

It's like a bot thread for stupid advertising, so don't expect it to have any link to the video topic

[@cibko]

I can't even begin to describe how timely this video arrived for me. thank you....

[@SamMartinPeakPerformance]

Same here, so needed

[@akkshayadwivedi]

thank you, sir :) Self-protection and martial arts are the most important subjects to me. I don't care what people think when it comes to these subjects.

[@yellow.2504]

This is some good shit this night Mark!

[@Loadinger]

Yeah dude! It's your shit's turn ...

[@jeanholtz579]

I really DON'T care what anyone thinks or says about me. I know who I am.

[@amirshayanmoghtaderi5840]

I appreciate you and your meaningful words. It's clear that you speak from the heart.

[@GretsyH]

yeah I realize us caring what people think and being so sensitive can actually be a super power and its ok to feel hurt when we feel so much rejection

[@sakshambajpai6780]

I just read that page today AND HERE IT COMES TO ME again

[@kyrak.4143]

0:07 He exposed us

[@revelation1012]

Mate, you're one of the few people who genuinely make me laugh. Love what you're doing.

[@ZvilgantisKailis]

I agree the child's life will be important and for those who didn't knew there was a child inside the burning house. Using this example, people usually are trying to rescue from fire some old chairs. You care for the chair because your grandfather made it. Other people start to nag you - why you stupidly risk for the chair, a chair is not a child, we don't care that this chair is so important for you. You can buy a new and better chair.

[@Angell_Lee]

Hello Mark, thank you for this video! I don't necessarily agree, for me the person you need the most its validation is the person who is looking in the mirror. Yourself. Not everyone has the same experience, for myself I was scapegoated since I was born, which made me stopped looking at other validation, because it was only negative and start looking for *my own* validation. Which got me far in life with this inner confidence. Blessings xo

[@mattbutcher8331]

Unfortunately, as a high school teacher, I can’t just change my tribe. I’m stuck with them for a year…and they are stuck with me.

[@melissahoffman9433]

I fucking love hearing your perspective, it’s so refreshing and kinda helps validate mine in a bent sort of way 🤷🏻‍♀️ anyway, much respect ✊🏼 👏❤️💪🏼

[@schallrd1]

It is one thing not caring what people think about you but another caring what people do to you.

[@mechellelearnsto2835]

Thumbs up if you needed to hear this today, too.

[@elanahammer1076]

Honestly I am going to have to think about this… I quit caring in grade school when I stood up to bullying. Thank you 🤔❤🇺🇸

[@JustMe-ob3nw]

Well, I had a teacher who nailed it - he used to say NEVER care about what other people are thinking about you, All of them are 100% busy worrying about what OTHERS are thinking about THEMSELVES 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@gmarinelarena8675]

Fuck!! This video made me realize that I care about my wife more than I tought.. thx Mark!

[@subhajitbhattacherjee2655]

The subtle art of not giving a F and Everything is F changed my life. You don't even know me. But thanks

[@amber4027]

The important things for me is showing up as mom for my son. And supporting those that I work with by continuing to learn and grow.

[@dramaticanews6682]

🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 🤨 We all wish to not care about others' opinions and judgments, seeking perfect confidence. 00:56 😌 Caring about others' opinions is natural and essential for empathy and social bonds. 02:56 🧠 Human intelligence and social nature are interconnected evolutionary traits. 04:50 😓 Feeling concerned about what others think is part of being human due to social dependency. 06:48 🚒 The extent to which you care about others' opinions relates to having more important priorities. 07:48 🌟 When you have something significant to care about, the opinions of others become less significant. Made with HARPA AI

[@MelanieAF]

I’ve known one person who truly, deeply didn’t care what other people thought, and that was my husband. It wasn’t in a defiant belligerent way, he was just that deeply confident in himself and what he believed mattered in life. I never understood it because I’m a reluctant people-pleaser who wishes she wasn’t. I wanted to be like him, be so utterly comfortable in my skin about who I am and my own core beliefs and values but in 40 years of marriage I just didn’t have whatever he had, in me. The best I’ve been able to do, as an introvert, is keep to myself to avoid my own paranoid perceived judgments from others.

[@brandonharris9160]

I don't care what people think, but I care very much about the interaction we have with one another

[@edgarbenjoseph3879]

Validate and approve yourself unconditionally. That did the trick for me. It’s a practice, but I care absolutely less and less what people think of me.

[@ewelinacisak8399]

The smartest and the most valuable video about this topic ever seen! Congrats!

[@catsee4014]

Thanks man keep up spreading this type of good news we need people like you in the world today

[@adifromfuture]

I love you man just finished reading the legendary orange book of yours! Felt like a guest that came to my house and giving me some valuable lessons on life and it feels a little pain that the guest whom i loved listening to gets up and left my house, after i finished the book

[@clara4942]

I’ve found the key is to behave respectably and with kindness, that way you never need to question what someone thinks about you - you know your values are solid. If they have an issue with you it’s because you’re holding up a mirror their deficiencies.