My Ex-Fiance CHEATED On Me 20 Years Ago, Now He Wants To Go For Dinner r/Relationships

[@FoxForever90]

Relationship stories: "my husband murdered my father" MN (reading) : My husband, Mark... MN: *dies of cringe*

[@aprilfox9205]

Lol...All the Marks be Marking... 🤣

[@ShinTriAce]

​@@aprilfox9205All the Marks be making their mark, good or bad😅

[@paulastiles5507]

At this point, I'm starting to wonder if some Redditors intentionally use "Mark" as a fake name for their Evil Character just to get on Mark Narrations and get a cringe out of poor Mark.

[@ZomBeeQueeen]

🤣😂😂

[@LadyPinkmonsta]

Forgiveness is fine, but OP is rewarding him with blind trust. At least fact check what he told you with someone else first. He very well may have changed and will never cheat again, but OP is definitely not being wary at all lol

[@ineedhoez]

Worst case... He cheats again, then she leaves again

[@diamcole]

@@ineedhoez It's less about him cheating again and more about this woman in her 40s falling for the same okey doke she did in her 20s.

[@Sugieb]

Why are all the marks cheating on their partners😭

[@MarkNarrations]

😬😬😬

[@alexvalentine5091]

Mark Narrations does not consider Mark a member of Mark

[@yesthatmousyiris4887]

Mark Narrations is the best Mark@@alexvalentine5091

[@ginathecookie]

​@@MarkNarrationshelps they're fake names but dw we know you're not that kind of Mark :p (Seriously kind of funny it's people's go to alias. Poor Mark(/you)).

[@ceikaiyiacheeksthedirector2920]

Mark needs to break the cycle by becoming the ultimate Mark lol

[@d.delgado4585]

He bullied her and later cheated on her. I get that they have great chemistry, but even if he's changed as an adult, it doesn't necessarily mean that he's changed for the better. He could've continued cheating or become abusive. With his history, I'd be more than wary, and honestly, I am with her girlfriends on the dinner. Not because there's anything wrong with checking in, but because she was already talking about butterflies and obviously is still attracted to the man. And after the update it's obvious that while she's saying take it slow, she already seems fairly all in.

[@OpticalArxenal]

That's the problem, absuive relationships go on because the abuser is often charismatic and can manipulate + the victim is not strong enough to go, or worse

[@justaperson4656]

Thank you for having common sense here

[@sentientcardboarddumpster7900]

This story shows that SHE hasn't changed. She hasn't grown if she fell for his shit again 20 whole ass years later. I'm lacking in sympathy for this one

[@clarabp2613]

Exactly that. And she is like "I'm over him" when she is clearly not

[@catT5236]

Exactly. I was there shouting at the screen "you haven't moved on, you don't get butterflies for someone you've moved on from." Also she NEEDS therapy because she definitely has a pattern of falling for cheaters & she needs to look at that.

[@blazngheart3496]

How is always Mark in all these stories? Is Mark just the Karen of relationships? 😂

[@heavenlyjaded]

every Mark i know has been a complete ass lol (sorry MN lol)

[@eliashuapilla]

​@heavenlyjaded I only know one Mark..well two if you include MN.😅. Anyway he was an asshole, and one of my best friends. To be fair we were assholes to each other. I would always get him with the comebacks.😂

[@Fingerscrossedout]

Does spelling count because the Marc I know was really nice but a bit lost in life 😂

[@robertx8020]

The both Marks I know are great ppl ..eventhough they are not as funny as this Mark

[@Pridegriffin]

I know at least 4 Marks....all funny, warm , amazing individuals!

[@Shenn3165]

Immediately got vibes that she’s falling back into the same feels she had for the guy who cheated on her, what’s changed, she hasn’t.

[@momo382844]

Girl, if you want him back just say that.

[@mogulmade]

She desperately does and she will quickly find out he has not changed. Good luck to her!

[@mariem8705]

Right? Like this whole azz post was asking for reassurances and confirmation that she can go back to her cheating ex. Like you’re grown up enough to make bad or good decisions.

[@leorose6039]

I personally couldn’t do it but I have seen some ppl who were shit In their youth change for the better. Sometimes it really does take time for some people to grow. Hopefully for OPs sake he has changed but I wouldn’t be holding my breath if I were her.

[@paulastiles5507]

@@leorose6039Yes, on occasion, AHs do grow into better people. However, the people an AH treated poorly when young are under no obligation to give said AH another chance and OP isn't even waiting for any signs that this guy has changed.

[@paulastiles5507]

Yeah, she doesn't need to ask an internet forum full of strangers for advice if she just wants to go and make some bad decisions she knows are bad. Her ex isn't the only one who hasn't grown up.

[@Kaeladoescrochet]

Every time it’s mark every time! And hearing Mark’s reaction makes me laugh every time

[@MarkNarrations]

Bloody Marks are everywhere getting up to shenanigans!!

[@Aziara86]

@@MarkNarrations all these nasty Marks spoiling your good name!

[@errantwinds-up8uu]

I know, poor Mark! (Our Mark, that is.)

[@CatLadyElegy]

Haha I know. He’s always like “oh shit, of course it’s another Mark.” 😂

[@paden1865able]

At least we have one of the best Marks!!❤❤

[@YourXavier]

The problem isn't meeting him for dinner. The problem is meeting him when OP clearly hasn't sorted out her feelings. 20 years and a marriage later, she's still into him. He's not even going to have to try.

[@Whooachannel]

Yep, this whole story just gives me the ick. OP needs to clear her head and stop being blinded by the nostalgia her ex is CLEARLY feeding off of to manipulate her.

[@Empress58]

The whole “he was cheating then saw a picture of us” just screams lifetime movie.

[@notcompletelynormal]

Those poor friends. They gave her the best advice when they told her to not meet up with this guy. Now they’re gonna have to hear about her and her gushing like a 16 y/o over getting butterflies by just being near her perfect cheating loser ex. She’s clearly stuck being absolutely in love with their teenage love story. Her being the rom-com nerdy, unpopular heroine, him being the cool bully. How only she was able to redeem him and turn him into a better man. She wants to see herself as this person again so badly, she misses the identity of “girl who magically fixed a bad boy”, that she’s willingly overlooking all his faults, since it would mean her magic isn’t working.

[@samanthacarpenter3336]

He had quite the story of how the night he cheated went. She’s got some serious blinders on if she thinks he doesn’t have anything to gain by lying. He wants you back, of course he has a reason to lie! I mean, it’s her business but, she’s clearly already dead set on getting back together. Didn’t take much for her after receiving a small amount of positive feedback.

[@momo382844]

Yeah, OP already had her heart set on going before she even posted.🤦🏾‍♀️

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

I actually was rooting for them all the time.

[@jwbrooks55]

OP told on herself when she mentioned being upset that he tried to make it on his own and not except his family wealth. Now 20 years later, she knows his family is likely dead, and that he is now rich. Money has a way of accentuating your good qualities and making women forget about all of your bad qualities. His story about the cheating episode was obviously BS. OP using hundred dollar bills as blinders.

[@Kris-wo4pj]

​​@@gostavoadolfos2023why so he can cheat again and she can be guilble again? I feel bad for her dad. Her mom did a number on her and he cant fix it.

[@lusnoct4298]

@@momo382844 I'd even say she had her heart set on getting back with him before she posted.

[@Russman67]

OP needs to take this slowly. She has a pattern, likely learned from her parents if finding cheaters. Hopefully she's unpacked why they are her type and what to do about it. Yes he's grown but once bitten, twice shy here

[@ZoeAlleyne]

She is not going to go slow, for sure.

[@robertx8020]

How do you find cheaters? Unless they tell you?

[@calebhoffman6368]

@@robertx8020she has a habit of liking people who have personality traits that will more than likely cheat

[@Kris-wo4pj]

​@@robertx8020its easy ive found. Cheaters are selfish so everything about them and everything is the problem but them.

[@ACAB.forcutie]

​@@robertx8020this is interesting, it does seem like she's attracting cheaters, but it's hard to tell why. I'd say because she's choosing bullies, and there _are_ other signs.

[@Kristina-dl2jv]

Mark's tired sigh whenever the villain of the story is named Mark is so funny

[@floraposteschild4184]

I don't understand what OP is going to get out of this: the saga of a man who was too "prideful" to go into the family business, but not too prideful to live on OP rather than getting a job to help out. Then he cheats on OP and joins daddy's business anyway. Oh, and after he bullied her and made her life miserable, he didn't hit her back. What a prince. That said OP is curious (I can relate) and obviously wants to go, no matter what anyone says. She seems like she made a life without him, so I hope she can see him clearly now. After update: yes, it could be a lie. Especially 20 years later when OP can't check on his story.

[@botanicalitus4194]

Its true that maybe he completely changed as a person but lets be real here OP is looking at him through rose colored glasses. So if she does continue to date him she certainly might not be careful enough to ensure he doesnt hurt her again. The post gives the vibes that she already decided she's going for it and that it will work out, it does not give the vibes of someone who is truly uncertain or cautious. At the end of the day its her life and if she wants to take a risk on this guy and if he is as Ioving as she says he is then its up to her I just hope she keeps an eye out just in case things turn out to be different than what she thought

[@momo382844]

Let’s be real, she’s choosing to settle.

[@audraverela3663]

Can we please also talk about how OP and him got together!? Like wtf? That’s not a healthy relationship to get into and it showed. Honestly it sounds like OP needs therapy if her former bully still makes her get butterflies. Girl like jfc shouldn’t you have been able to see that by now if you say you’ve changed? She sees things with rose colored glasses. We know damn well where this is going. YUP SHE’S GIVING HIM ANOTHER CHANCE. Lady you really need therapy, you can do much better.

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

don't be a Karen it's been 20 years, 20 freaking years for god's sake and they still have feelings for each other.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

​@gostavoadolfos2023 Sigh...remember when "Karen" actually had a meaning? Now every unimaginative fingertrap with half a braincell tries to shut down any argument by calling the other one Karen.

[@jwbrooks55]

His account of the cheating episode is such a lie. All OP can think of is the prospect of getting back with her toxic. Ex who happens to be wealthy. She is more than happy to believe his bullshit story. She literally caught him cheating on her the next day after a fight. That man had probably cheated on her the whole time they were together.

[@valgardener7656]

If this was true, wouldn't HE have said so at the time, instead of just stuttering? Wouldn't the AP have said so, since she was sympathetic to the situation? He's saying he deliberately didn't tell OP, because he felt like he was guilty of infidelity anyway. So he's willing to send her letter after letter nagging her to come back, but not willing to tell her he didn't actually cheat? Why tell her now, then? Is it because now she cannot reach out to AP to confirm the story? And what 's worse, she's literally like "Oh, it doesn't matter if he's LYING to me about not cheating, because that was 20 years ago and I've already forgiven him." If he's lying now in the present, that means he's a liar now in the present! She's just so desperately eager to fall for his BS she doesn't care.

[@Ang3lBr3adBask3t]

Most of these comments worry me. Op's ex was her ex-bully. Not only that but apparently Op said that this dude STALKED her, love bombed her once she fought back, mooched off her yet refused to take a job that would actually have helped him, “Almost cheated” on her, Never saw anyone for over twenty years of them being apart, and now is trying to get back with her. Yeah…..no

[@taylorslade961]

Story 1: I don't think OP should have given him the time of day. He's been single this whole time, which is giving obsession and red flags. The fact that he tried to recreate their first date clinches that. OP should just go home and forget any of this ever happened.

[@themurderbotfeed7688]

So wait, for 20 years this man has essentially gotten stuck by not dating anyone seriously long term (cant committ) and is full blast nostalgia (nothing new to add, no proof of progress etc). This is an accident waiting to happen, but oh well, she seems pretty gone so she needs to learn her lesson again

[@hothotheat3000]

If you let this man back into your life, you’re going to inevitably sleep with him and the feelings will start up again and it’ll be a mess. Why even bother?

[@nilianstroy]

she will be back on reddit crying how it was a big mistake.

[@mogulmade]

@@valgardener7656 Exactly

[@LovesGaming37]

​@@nilianstroyand she will expect her girlfriends to support her when he cheats again, even though they adviced her not to.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 1 uggh this poor woman is surrounded by dirty rotten cheaters. I can't think of any valid reason why my fiance would be shirtless hugging on another woman. And on the couch too!! IDK OP's expectations don't seem correct. Her excitement sounds like she's hoping they can reunite and get happily ever after. If she was just curious and wanting the tea, I'd say heck yes, but I think she's gonna be hurt by this bc of her expectations. I

[@jesswagner7391]

I love how anytime there's a story with the name Mark there's a grumble from our wonderful Waffle King lol.

[@carolroberts4614]

I feel for him! I've been a few villainesses in these stories!

[@jesswagner7391]

@@carolroberts4614 oddly, for as common as my name is, I barely come across it on Reddit. I'm sorry you've been the villainess 😔

[@MarkNarrations]

Didn't make the same mistake today. Heeeeyyy!!

[@valgardener7656]

Let's summarize: 1) He bullied her, 2) He stalked her, 3) He love bombed her, 4) He sponged off her, 5) He cheated on her, 6) He obsessed over her for 20 years, failing every attempt at any relationship with any woman who "wasn't OP". 7) And now he's back with the love bombing. Sure, go ahead OP. Don't listen to your silly girlfriends. What could possibly go wrong?

[@LovesGaming37]

And those will be the same women she will expect to support her when he cheats again.

[@Mrs_Ella]

1) He was a stupid kid, 2) He was a stupid kid, 3) He was a teen, 4) He was a young, inexperienced man (we all were young and inexperienced, made mistakes and idiotic decisions), 5) He was an ahole (and it blew up in his face - rightly so), 6) He thought about her every now and then (we're not in his head, you don't know if he obsessed over her) and wasn't lucky enough to find the perfect woman for him (have you seen today's dating pool?), 7) and now he's glad to have found her again and wants to do it right this time. They both get the chance to start new, as full grown persons. I think this is a really cute love story and I wish them all the best.

[@valgardener7656]

@@Mrs_Ella 4) Young and inexperienced does not equal bullying and stalking. People who say it does lack good judgment and good intent. 6) His past AND present behavior indicate obsession. Further, he's single, obviously charming, in his prime, and "extremely wealthy", and you're blaming the dating pool for the fact that he cannot maintain a relationship.

[@despinasgarden.4100]

​@@Mrs_EllaYou are either very very young or have a weird view on what romance is if you believe this is a "cute" love story. Regardless, he still cheated and was an AH to her.

[@Mrs_Ella]

@@despinasgarden.4100 Well, and you're either very narrow-minded or bitter. I believe people can change, especially in 20 years AND in a stage of life when you change the most.

[@tedybomber1713]

I swear to god Reddit is just messing with mark at this point lol

[@Uneclipsed]

Story 1: Good Lord, the delulu is real. “Closure” isn’t something anyone can give you. It’s something you decide for yourself. Not sure she’s gunna learn.

[@SherriLyle80s]

One thing is clear, she is attracted to cheaters. She needs therapy to figure out why she attracts them.

[@jeaniebee3657]

itsmore like bad boy types which include cheaters im sure she has dated non cheater but had some ah tendancies

[@ellamitchell1270]

That's ridiculous to say. People change and move on with their lives. I say she should go for it and see where things go from there. People are sometimes given a second chance. It is up to one to take it.

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

being cheated on 2 times is not that of a big deal though.

[@robertx8020]

@@gostavoadolfos2023 iT CAN be but it doesn't have to be ..not everbody is the same!

[@Kris-wo4pj]

​@@gostavoadolfos2023if ya feel thst way and it happened to ya it meant ya didnt give a fuck about the cheaters

[@shydog7276]

OP needs therapy, not this fake ass man. This dude was her bully, stalker her, love bombed her, then has been holding a candle for her for 2 decades. This is literally insane. OP even married another cheater. She really needs to sort out why she is drawn to toxic men like this. This story is so gross and scary. "it feels like nothing has changed" like yeah, that's what I'm afraid of. Girl needs to leave him alone.

[@insideAdirtyMind]

Cheater never change, they will always find an excuse to cheat. I would never take him back. She will just repeat her past with him.

[@kristinewatson3702]

The commentor who said this dude at 24 and 44 are very different people obviously never met a narcissist 😂

[@Cjaj2]

damn mark has lived such a storied life

[@creidy2018]

The problem is, all of this happened from nostalgia and all of the positives are about how he’s similar to how he was when they were dating before. It sounds like they’re both just chasing how the felt in their early 20’s when they were together, and that’s a super unhealthy basis for a relationship

[@karend1577]

I agree with Mark. I felt uneasy when the ex tried to to-do their first date by dressing similarly and to the restaurant. He's determined to get her back even if it means using her sentimental memories. I just wish he could have tried it as a fresh start, fresh 'date' to win her back... I guess I listen to too much Reddit stories.

[@LovesGaming37]

Going back to is an ex is like giving someone a second bullet when the first bullet missed you.

[@catT5236]

This is what happens when people watch too many rom-coms or read too many romance stories. OP's friends were right & she's being foolish. Frankly she should be getting herself therapy rather than into a relationship with someone who started out bullying her & ended up cheating on her the first time around. She has a pattern & she needs to deal with that first.

[@cynthiahertzog8572]

I completely agree that him showing up to the meeting dressed in his old outfit and taking op to their first date location is so creepy! It feels like love bombing to me. I hope op doesn't get hurt again before they leave

[@botanicalitus4194]

Ive been having a really rough week but these videos really help me feel calm down and feel less anxious

[@telinhajp]

It's almost weekend. And you can do whatever you want. Relax, go dancing, cook, or run a marathon... I just wish you enjoy your weekend and feel renewed for next week. Take care. ❤️🤗

[@botanicalitus4194]

@@telinhajpThankyou that is very kind 💜

[@Merryfrances]

Anyone else feel like almost all of the Reddit comments on the original story 1 were really bad advice?? After the update: wow, he really really really played the nostalgia card to pull on her heartstrings. It’s a red flag disguised as “awww cute.” Update: Mark’s comments at the end are spot on, as usual.

[@valgardener7656]

Yeah, I know. This is a woman's life, not a flipping rom com. OP's girlfriends were too sensible to enable her stupidity, so she ran to Reddit instead. Sadly, Reddit played along. To be fair, if they gave good advice, she'd probably have ignored it. But I'd have liked to see someone try.

[@maurer3d]

Story 1 (before update): Cancel dinner and block him. Letting him back in your life like this, is a bad idea and will most likely lead to more hurt and grief on your part. Your entire relationship with him began in an extremely unhealthy way, and also ended horribly. Story 1 (update): Oh OP, you need therapy, this guy is still the same manipulative and abusive person you first met in high school.

[@yque4733]

Anyone else rolled their eyes at OP?

[@Lily_of_the_Forest]

Folks, when you start dating tell your partner “I will not tolerate cheating. Not exaggerating. Cheating is a dealbreaker. If you are tempted then break up. I will not take you back, even if we children. Are you on board? If not, let’s end this now.” If he/she cheats after knowing this, then you can walk away without guilt. The boundaries were set at the beginning. No excuse.

[@purpleiguana208]

That last story, it was so obvious that the relationship was going to rekindle by the way OP was talking about her heart fluttering and how it felt so good hugging and all of that, even before the dinner. It's one of those things that I wish for the best, but she needs to take care of her heart. It just seems... ehh...

[@manifest2203]

I don’t understand why the OP is wanting to get with this man again. 20 years later that story is suspect. Some women don’t understand that nice guys are the ones who screw things up the worst. The fact that he hasn’t gotten married even once is a red flag to me. He may have been able to pick up some aspects of his life, but I don’t think he is good relationship material.

[@gcarr1089]

He never was serious with anyone else after the breakup for 20 years, I don't buy that. Before OP gets serious with this guy she needs to confirm if he has lied to her or not. If he did lie then he hasn't changed.

[@valgardener7656]

Actually, if he's telling the truth he hasn't changed. If he'd been able to maintain an adult relationship between then and now, that would be a good thing. Instead he admits his complete inability to relate to women because they aren't OP. If that's a lie it's bad, if it's true it might be worse. He's waving red flags in her face, and she's like "Oh, roses. How pretty."

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

He said his attempts at long-term relationships didn't work out, and I'm sitting here wondering if it's because he cheated on them, too. It's not like he's gonna admit that to OP when he so very clearly wants back in her life and her pants. Especially now that he's in his mid 40's and becoming less "desirable".

[@valgardener7656]

@@AngryReptileKeeper Actually, it's worse than that. He said that none of his relationships lasted long enough to become "long term" in the first place. Meaning, he's incapable of maintaining relationships at all. Then he says gave up trying, because he knew he'd never find another OP. Mark couldn't even read that part aloud without scoffing.

[@paulastiles5507]

@@valgardener7656""Oh, roses. How pretty."" LOL! True. I can't even with the intentional stupid in this OP.

[@gigga143]

i wouldn’t be surprised cause most other women he met probably didn’t have low enough self esteem to be serious with him like OP.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

"I couldn't stop staring at him, my ears were red like they always are with him" "It is just dinner, it is not a big deal" Pick one. You either think it is not a big deal or he is still getting you hot under the collar. Just be honest about it though.

[@YourXavier]

Yep. OP is in denial about how much she's into this guy. Every other sentence is "my heart fluttered", "I missed hugging him", "it was so heartwarming", "smooth talker", "it made my heart race". Honey, get real! You're head over heals with this guy and you're just not thinking straight.

[@eddavanleemputten9232]

As Mark said: “People change in 20 years.” That’s potentially part of the problem. The OP is falling back in love with the boy (because that’s what he was 20 years ago) she had a relationship with. She doesn’t know the man he’s become. He wants the girl back and doesn’t know the woman she’s become. Even if he’s changed for the good, they need to take it slow and all signs point to them not doing that. Add the cheater element, the pride bit, the bad communication he used to display and I’m thinking the chances of this going well are very, very slim. I still wish her the best but… I’m too cynical to believe it’s going to end well.

[@kecward78]

OP is addicted/attracted to cheaters, but was able (apparently) to 'forgive' this one. My ONLY question... 'Did she also forgive her mother and was she ever able to reconnect?' If not, why?

[@anitaomoaghama4097]

She did say her mother abandoned her after she cheated.

[@namename2040]

2 people is addicted/attracted? Thats a very low bar

[@damiang888]

It's just like a classical "love story", in the sense that classic love stories aged terribly and you cannot help but to worry about the female part of the couple that lived "happily ever after"

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

Never fall in love with the same person twice, the first time you fall for the person, the second time will be for the memories.

[@Jorge.Painkiller]

I would personally laugh my lungs out if a cheating ex wanted to talk things out no matter if a lifetime passed. Like what there is to talk? How they cheated on me or on other exes? I honestly don't understand OP here.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

I love how mark’s brain works. I’m with him I couldn’t give a second chance but that’s me. I never can look backwards. Especially a cheater

[@DracofireNexus]

Got disappointed in this story went back to the guy who cheated made herself look weak and desperate

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

people change, 20 yeras is almost a new generation, he deserves a 2nd chance.

[@mogulmade]

@@gostavoadolfos2023 People also do not change

[@Kris-wo4pj]

​​@@gostavoadolfos2023he didnt move on which means theres something wrong with him either way. He hasnt grown for shit. Changed people dont cling to the past cuz what ifs like OP, ya and the cheater are doing. Honrstly starting to think youre a cheater and this is what ya want for your victim to be too naive to realize ya shouldnt be given an inch.

[@thatdellgirl14]

How is she wrak or desprate? People forgive family for way worst and their always saying its because their family and never changed. Shes not desperate or weak shes made a choice for herself

[@DracofireNexus]

1000% he'd cheat on her again it happens once a cheater always a cheater lol I'm a cheater

[@HereAlex]

Yknow it’s going to be a good story when it starts with Mark lol

[@lucyann1573]

Dude seems like a complete weasel and OP was gonna get badk together with him no matter what Reddit and her girlfriends told her. OP: "I told him we have to take it slow." Also OP: "So then i kissed him immediately after saying that." Ok, OP 🙄

[@awseven1144]

Oh I love it when cheaters go with the ‘oh it was one time’ or ‘I had only just met her’ or ‘all we did with kiss’ like yeah, you got caught the ONE AND ONLY TIME you were doing anything wrong. No offense OP #1, you’d be stupid to get back with him. It’s better to be alone then with the wrong person.

[@mutegirlsirius8940]

People who cheat dont deserve sht

[@JAcm49]

💯

[@grizbear4115]

Goddammit Mark, quit getting into trouble!!!!

[@dodgyyoutuber9560]

I’m so surprised all the comments were so supportive. They’re usually like “once a cheater always a cheater”

[@valgardener7656]

Not to mention that she starts dating hm after he bullies and stalks her. And that it looks so much like he's lying to her and love bombing her in the present. OP's rosy-tinted, rom-com view of the world is sweeping Redditers off their feet.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Ok, some context I feel was missed: It's been 20 years and he's only been single the last couple years. Which means he's failed at any relationships he's attempted for about 18 years. He's great at spinning narratives, so I'm wondering how many other women he cheated on. That definitely would have been part of my questions if I were desperate enough to see him again. OP has some serious relationship blinders.

[@ACAB.forcutie]

Ladies, that is NOT butterflies! Sometimes it's anxiety/fear that _this man is dangerous,_ which he JUST SHOWED YOU HE WAS!

[@AraAra6367]

I really find stories like this pathetic, as sympathetic as the poster’s position may be. After 20 years, OP is still clinging to the past despite how much she insists she has moved past it.

[@dragonrider1549]

As someone who has gone back to cheating ex’s in the past (I’ve made way too many stupid decisions in my life) I want to tell OP to take a cool off period after that first meeting. She’s what I like to call reminiscent drunk. It’s easy to look back on all the good times and ignore the bad, and the longer the memory ages, the better we make it out to be in our heads. If she doesn’t slow down, she could easily get in over her head.

[@radish6740]

Op went back to the abusive bully who cheated on her. No pity for gluttons for punishment. She will deserve it when he does it to her all over again. Op is a pathetic human.

[@stan8479]

Wow. The lack of empathy you show for victims of abuse in general is appalling. This situation aside, you know that victims of abuse often stay or go back to the relationship because the abuser has made them feel like they're the only person in the world that would ever love them, right? Do you know how abuse works? I hope you're not this callous towards victims. Jesus christ.

[@chantelinsertnamehere4513]

​@@stan8479 People are always like this, lack of empathy and understanding as to why victims are like this, constantly hoping it'll go back to the love

[@gigga143]

this girl says she’s moved on but she hasn’t at all. firstly she decided to date her bully, that in and of itself screams self esteem issues and then bully turned boyfriend ended up being too prideful to pull his weight financially and then cheated on her and it was so bad she moved states but now she wants to catch up with him. for what exactly? the fact she got butterflies over this loser is concerning tbh. this lady need therapy, and a lot of it.

[@valgardener7656]

"It would be nice to have him back in my life" "Surely it wouldn't be a big deal if I go, right". It's not a big deal if you want closure and an adult discussion about your issues. That's totally fine. But your girlfriends clearly see that you're having butterflies and fantasizing about getting back together with him, which is a really crap idea. Update: So he has never married, never dated long term, will stay single because he'll "never find anyone like OP". He brings you to your first date restaurant? He comes dressed up in a schoolboy suit just like the old days, instead of like the grown man he's supposed to be? Come on, OP! Your problem is that everything he does that screams "dependent" and "obsessive", you think is cute and adorable. "I'm so proud of how much he changed" but also "It was like we never really parted"? Again, come one. It doesn't sound like he changed. He took up drinking, and then he quit drinking. He quarreled with his dad, he made up with his dad. He gave her butterflies then, he gives her butterflies now. He obsessed on her then, and he never stopped obsessing on her since. Oh, but now he works in an office and wears a suit? Okay, that's something.

[@LoveK1]

Why do her friends need to hush when she’s the one who asked for their opinion? Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to.

[@nofrackingzone7479]

Wow the guy sounds like a real charmer. He bullied, stocked, cheated on OP and if it weren’t for daddies money would have ended up on the streets. Mmm.. sure OP certainly needs to get back with him.

[@Lily_of_the_Forest]

Just my opinion, NOPE! I see this as enabling cheating. Cheating is a willing choice to hurt your partner. No excuse to cheat.

[@rebeccay480]

1st story: Only OP can decide how close to the edge she wants to go with this man. He broke her trust once already. If OP wants that closure she should have one dinner with him or downgrade it to coffee or a lunch. Something with less intimate implications. Edit: If he is telling the truth, it might be worth it for OP to see where this goes

[@HobieInTheBox]

14:27 the reason is that people have massive egos and would never admit to fault no matter pathetic it makes them look. People are just like that, no logic, all ego

[@tooblessed8815]

Less than 1 minute in and when MN read his name is Mark and said oh my word, I nearly died laughing! I rewinded it 3 times. I swear people use Mark for the relationship villain in all stories. Whew!

[@Dan_Hazard]

That money giving her amnesia 😅

[@recycledapathy7411]

Yeah, I'd be on high alert for the red flags here. Like, it's nice to reconnect with an old friend, but this guy bullied her and then used her as a tutor, then mooched off her while bitching that she was being the breadwinner. And then he brought home some barfly after ONE SINGLE DAY of being apart from her. I notice that the word "therapy" and "rehab" never came up in the post. Just "after you left I became an alcoholic and made myself completely undateable." If you wanna know what kind of red flags the guy is waving when he's not putting on a good face to get back in your good graces, talk to some of his employees - or better yet, some people who worked for his dad and aren't working for him. That's where the good marinara is, finding out how he treats people he has authority over.

[@tofumar]

This is going to end badly. But some people just insist on walking themselves for a buzzsaw over and over their whole lives, and I think it's best to let them

[@samurailevi49]

I’m so early that I can’t even see the comments that KZbin claims are there.

[@telinhajp]

I click in *"Newest"* , it shows you all comments before yours.

[@belalugosisdead4444]

Story 1, op sure knows how to pick them........

[@chunglu]

op likes her rose-coloured glasses, huh? she clearly keeps them on long enough to miss all the red flags of a cheating partner. or maybe i'm just jaded and she really does live in a rom-com. either way, good luck to her.

[@TheRockinDonkey]

I have never had any desire to “catch up” with an ex. Regardless of how things ended. Why would I?

[@Himitssu]

In the end, is on OP to decide what to do, but her friends weren't wrong about being against it.True is that some times people see red flags that we don't while in a relationship.From what she told us, he never seemed mature or a good guy, he bullied her, and like most teens, she feel with the story of the bad boy who changed just for her.He was too prideful to take a job with his dad to help her, but took the job anyway after cheating on her when things got hard.I agree with him, he needed to be alone to grow up, and if OP thinks is a good idea to try again now, go for it, but from a outsider view, much more like her friends, I'd also be against it, I think she is still in love with the idea of how perfect the relationship was in the beggining and hoping it'll work this time, and I hope it does, but is hard to put that much trust in someone who already messed up once.

[@Ospyro3em]

I think in situations like this, it all really depends on what you want to get out of it. If seeing him will give you closure and you have no expectations then go, but if you'd rather let thing lie, then don't.

[@katsmenagerie106]

Oof this one doesn't leave me with good feelings. OP sounds lonely and has had it rough, and I don't blame her for how she feels. This Mark guy, maybe he changed, but forgiving and forgetting his past actions - or burying her resentment - is shaky ground to begin a new relationship, and he's had 20 years to work up quite the sob story. I would want to know why he hasn't had a single long-term relationship in over two decades, what his dates saw in him that made them decide not to continue. That really stood out to me. And OP needs to have a realistic understanding of who he is and was, and hold him accountable. He's already pushing for a relationship after a single date, meaning that when he apologized, there was something he wanted or hoped to get out of that interaction. While it doesnt mean he wasn't genuine, he has ulterior motives that cloud the situation. OP has already kissed him, so things are moving a little quickly, which means less time to reflect on how she's feeling. Also the "butterfly" language can sometimes be romantic, but sometimes it can point to an anxious attachment, but that's for OP to figure out and I don't want to speculate any further on it. Just seeing a lot that makes me concerned for her and how this relationship is going to make her feel in the end. Still, I easily could be wrong so I hope for the best!

[@availanila]

Goddamit! I was rooting for then _(we were all rooting for them! 😂)_ until I read your comment.

[@valgardener7656]

You are not wrong. Your bad feeling is on point, and with all the red flags you've pointed out, there are so many you've overlooked. Why didn't he tell the full story about the AP at the time, but then tell it now? Answer: because now AP isn't around anymore to contradict him. OP actually says she doesn't care if he's lying, because it was 20 years ago. But that means that now, it the present, he's still a liar. She doesn't care! That's the biggest red flag. That she herself actually seems to think he's a liar, and is so desperately delusional that she just doesn't care.

[@Empress58]

@@availanilawho is “we”? 😂

[@availanila]

@@Empress58 😂😂😂 us hopeless romantics.

[@LovesGaming37]

So he bullied and then cheated. He's not worth it.

[@greendiamondglow]

It's the 'I missed hugging him'... She is CLEARLY not over him

[@mimikiryuu]

"Its been years" yeah. It has. Let it go.

[@littlegreycat]

2:31 this reminds me of another post that said someone cannot be your goal or be the only thing that inspires you to have a goal or goals.

[@MasterBuilderDragon]

Mark, did Michael Jackson teach you nothing? Don’t go around breaking young girls’ hearts! 😂

[@paulqueripel3493]

At least he'll know what to say if someone tries to pick up his girlfriend. Beat it, the girl is mine. That may sound a bit possessive, that's human nature.

[@diamcole]

OP is the friend who leans on her friends when shit hits the fan and then actively ignores the warning flags when they throw them up 🤣

[@BonazaiGirl]

Mark, is there something you’re not telling us? We keep hearing you in quite a number of stories lately. 😂

[@CatLoverX74]

Of course it’s Mark again! 🤦🏻‍♀️ Always getting up to sneaky sneaky 😂

[@pinkesthibiscus]

That “oh my word… 😩” thoroughly cracked me up lol.

[@jennilynne1977]

Hey Mark and Waffle Gang! I hope everyone is having a great day/afternoon/night! Peace ☮️, hugs 🤗 and love 😘!

[@MarkNarrations]

Hey hey Jenni!!

[@DudeEM]

That commenter beat me to it. 24 and 44 are two different persons. He wasn’t a full jerk when he cheated 20 years ago. At 44 he’s wiser and would most likely know how to sort his priorities. All in all, this was a heartwarming story….. almost like something out of a Hallmark channel movie?

[@valgardener7656]

"24 and 44 are two different persons. " In lots of cases this is true. But not here. He sounds emotionally arrested, obsessive, and trying to recreate the past. He goes to their old restaurant wearing a schoolboy suit and actually bringing his old earring? She sounds extremely juvenile: Like she's living in a rom-com or something. I think we should trust the girlfriends' judgment on this one.

[@DudeEM]

Your statement is actually valid. Anything is possible. But the way I see it is that OP is the ex’s TOTGA and just wanted a second shot. I think he deserves a chance. He’s dorky if I have to say so but like I said earlier, anything is possible.

[@AndyyWithAY]

After marriage, I think it can up to the person whether you forgive infidelity. For me, before marriage if you cheat, you're done completely and totally, no second chance, we are NEVER EVER EVER getting back together. I knew due to part one she was trying to get back with this man. I hope she gets what she wants, but it could never be me

[@LovesGaming37]

So why is one instance ok to forgive but not the other?

[@yozarahirvi4750]

well, they have a fight and a day later he's shirtless with another woman on their couch. so in a single day he decided he was going to cheat on OP, find a woman willing to cheat with him and brought her home ? my guess is he was already cheating for some time when the fight happened and when OP left he though "great, she's gone, let's bring side piece here !"

[@adler7017]

Yeah, that's going to end badly

[@listenquitely2888]

Op is only asking to validate herself. She has intentions of going to dinner and hopes that they can rekindle. You can tell. Lets hope it works out this time.

[@nilianstroy]

It won't, she's an easy mark for him... Come on they started a relationship by him bullying her that she forgave, now restart a relationship after he cheated on her. She's a doormat and he knows it very well...

[@momo382844]

She’s settling for whatever she can get for now.

[@telinhajp]

Yeah, I noticed this as well. She wanted everybody to say 'yes'. I honestly don't even believe what she says about her girlfriends. I kept yelling at my screen: "You wanna go, just go! Stop trying to fool us, we don't believe you." TBH, I was expecting that her UPDATE was that they slept together in the first night, she got pregnant from that first time, the baby was born the same day of Mark's birthday, and she's really nervous because they're getting married next week.

[@nilianstroy]

@@momo382844 her ex fiancé already knows how desperate she is for a relationship, and is pouncing on that, i won't be surprised if she finds out he's lied about his relationships and they all ended after he was found cheating. But she does have a type.

[@bellasmom2597]

Cheaters cheat because they feel entitled to. 20 years won't change that.

[@whitevixen8919]

He definitely is not her happy ending. He will end up cheating on her again if they get back together.

[@Goldenxbih]

I will never understand girls that date their bullies.

[@ZomBeeQueeen]

In 20 years he never had another serious relationship? That means he never even learned how to be better as a partner it seems

[@paulchaudoir190]

When she said "have him as a friend." I heard the lie a thousand miles away. I have a feeling history will repeat itself. But maybe I'm wrong.

[@lonewanderer8743]

Welp it's already obvious she's all in despite decades of red flags. In her smitten mindset, it's clear she's painting him as a joy and it's still failing to show him as a "changed man".