r/AmITheA**hole I REFUSE To Let My Child Wear Ashes Of Another Family Member

[@MarkNarrations]

Hey all, so you're aware these are the Livestream stories put into the normal format. Much love :)

[@americanhoney3098]

Oh great. Thanks so much for your continuous effort to keep us entertained. Hope everything is okay with you man. Take care.

[@missluciddreams3472]

Sweet! ✨

[@maramollysnow5111]

Thank you ❤️

[@Park-Kim_VMin]

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ @Mark

[@chickennuggets12345]

I came at the end of the livestream and missed the stories , so glad you uploaded them normally :D

[@kabbyPatty]

"It's not healthy to glorify death" Me: *sweats in mexican*

[@bobbyjay205]

i am actually laughing out loud. Took me a sec, but i got there.

[@beckyhartley9502]

I think this woman needs to be sat down and forced to watch Disney's Coco. Isn't the whole point remember those that have passed without constantly mourning?

[@breequeen2441]

@@beckyhartley9502 however, this is only one culture’s way of viewing death. We shouldn’t judge the way different people view death.

[@beckyhartley9502]

@@breequeen2441 Except the issue here is the fact the mother is doing exactly that herself. I'm British and generally the funerals, memorials and wakes are pretty gloomy and depressing (I've been to enough of them to see the trend) and I'm going out on a limb and will say that the mother is subject to the same culture. However that doesn't really give her the right to disrespect someone else's, my point of making her watch that movie is that it gives a pretty good idea of how Mexican culture deals with and views death (hell it was done in a way for children to understand).

[@zerobolt9506]

😂🤣

[@momotaro1236]

The part in the fourth story when the daughter starts talking about how she blames herself because her dad died in a car crash driving to her to the hospital hit me hard. Not just because blaming yourself for years is incredibly bad for your mental health, but also because her father was only trying to drive her to the hospital because her mother refused to pay for an ambulance. I can’t help but think that her mother was projecting guilt on to her for prayer entire childhood

[@NewGothOnTheBlock]

Im very sure she did.. because OP kept on telling people who said “it’s not your fault” things like “Yes, it IS my fault!”.. and I get her.. it’s not easy to let go of something that’s been rammed into your head for years and years by your own mom of all people!.. and it breaks my heart 😢 her Dad was being a good parent. I really hope she get the help and love she deserves 🖤

[@Mewse1203]

It's heartbreaking how much they've hurt her.

[@moonbear5929]

BINGO!

[@carolroberts4614]

Grandma and grandpa sound awesome! So glad she had them to go to! I have cried twice over this story now.

[@nancyjay790]

I heard this story elsewhere, and OP even blames herself for jumping around pretending to be Supergirl, which is what led her to be hurt, hence needing emergency treatment. She blamed herself for behaving like a child when she was a child! My heart hurts for her.

[@destinysphinx27]

Story 4: Wait, wait, hold up... the mum says OP killed her dad and yet she didn't want to call for an ambulance? Am I understanding this right?? By the mothers own logic SHE was the one who killed her husband because what... wanting to teach a young kid not to do silly stuff? And where was mummy dearest when little 5 year old OP was go her way to the hospital anyway? This is a clear case of projecting, mum doesn't want to feel the guilt so she putting it all on OP Thank God for OP's grandparents.

[@Mewse1203]

That was my exact thought. Mom is deflecting blame onto a child and it is abusive.

[@dart.115]

"If it wasn't for you, your dad wouldn't have been in the car that crashed!" "If you would've called anambulance, dad wouldn't have been in the car that crashed." Projection is definitely being played here

[@toffiet3347]

I dont agree with blaming for death (unless its directly related like a killer) and I dont think the mum actually killed the dad but the logic makes me so confused. Also I remeber reading this story and I'm pretty sure she said something like the mum and dad wornt watching her and she had a super girl costume thaught it would make her fly and jumped down the stairs

[@nancyjay790]

@@toffiet3347 The point is, nobody is responsible. OP was a kid, acting like a kid, and sometimes kids get hurt. The car accident was also a thing neither OP nor her mother could control. But that means for 12 years, OP's mother has cruelly blamed her child for everything, for doing something a lot of kids have done (the injury) and for, seemingly, "allowing" her father to try to take her to get help. And OP was clearly hurt very badly since 12 years later she still needs a cane. And notice, too, OP said her stepdad or mom will get her "downstairs" for dinner. This girl, who needs a cane to walk, is having it taken, and she has to use a rolling chair to get to the bathroom so she won't wet herself, and when she complained, was told that if she wanted a parent who would care about her, she "shouldn't have killed" her dad. I know it's grief, but after 12 years?! If OP died for any reason, her mother might be glad at this rate, even if she cried crocodile tears.

[@toffiet3347]

@@nancyjay790 I know this. I am saying i would get the logic of the mum blaming herself not blaming the kid. I also brought up the extra info because the mum and dad should have been watching her. I think the cane is from the car accident but I'm not sure

[@bioshockbrat9171]

Fostering a healthy relationship around death is important, when it comes to mourning and remembering. You celebrate loved ones and share their memories together. Death is important in Mexican culture with the day of the dead: Honouring their loved ones

[@emoXjessiX2030]

I teach my kids about Dia de los Muertos. The is a natural part of life. It’s ok to be sad but you should also be happy for the fun times too.

[@nancyjay790]

I wonder if that OP unconsciously connects any memorial as almost a superstitious knee jerk. Like people who hold their breath if they have to pass a graveyard, or who avoid those floral tributes on statues for military fallen. Those people who won't even discuss a funeral because "it might invoke something", even if a person is getting old or is very ill. They fear death to the point of letting it restrict them.

[@bioshockbrat9171]

Could be an unspoken superstition. For example: talking abt death invites negativity/death into your life.

[@paden1865able]

Life begins, life ends. That's how it is. Sounds like the woman is overly concerned about a natural process. Had I been taught about it, maybe I could accept it easier instead of raging when someone I love dies.

[@Dr.RatioSnail]

@@nancyjay790 Wait people actually hold there breath passing graveyards Thats crazy

[@holyboiamethin2790]

“It’s not healthy to glorify death” wearing jewelry meant to remember a deceased family isn’t glorifying death but sure

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

Also the glorifying death reason is stupid. Everyone dies, that just life, and trying to hide that from her child is just pointless. The kid is gonna find out one way or another and the necklace way is a pretty tame way of explaining loss

[@hannahdavis5725]

Boy she's in for a culture shock if she ever leaves her bubble.

[@TheNormExperience]

Right? Family heirlooms in the form of jewelry are often passed down after death. It’s not glorifying anything, it’s remembering. Does OP plan to be buried with all her jewelry and not leave anything for her child out of fear it would GLORIFY her having lived her life until it’s natural end?

[@Davtwan]

@@hannahdavis5725 - She’s going to have a sheer panic attack whenever someone she knows ends up in hospice care. Is she going to anxious when she ends up on her deathbed? Being this fearful of death isn’t healthy.

[@fate_clotho9596]

@Davtwan So true! And to raise her child/ren like that? It's appalling! It makes me wonder if she's the type to tell petite who are grieving to "just get over it already!" and " It's been long enough! It's been __ months/years! " In the last five years I lost my dad to kidney failure from T1 diabetes, we were very close especially since he had me move in after my nasty divorce in 2008 and we too care of each other. I cooked him healthy meals and he took care of me when my spondylolisthesis became bad and required 4 spinal surgeries within less than a year, including two fusions. He died in my arms since he chose hospice and I wanted him hike with me. Eight months later, my oldest son died suddenly while at his dad's for the weekend, from Addison's Disease. He'd had an Addisonian Crisis in the night. March 6th was the fifth anniversary of his death. Worst thing I have ever been through. I'm still grieving. Then in August 2019, my oldest sister, who had bipolar disorder but wasn't taking her meds, but was self medicating with weed and valium, committed suicide. She was 47. She and I never really got along very well and ended on bass terms because of how she was trying to manipulate my dad's estate, even though he'd left me in charge. It was a mess, my relationship with her. So there's a lot of guilt there, too. Especially since it hit my moms so hard. So in what's left of my tiny family, we are trying to normalize grief, educate people. We scattered my dad's ashes up in the mountains in a field of wildflowers. But my ex husband and I split our son's ashes. So I have his dark cherry wood urn with his graduation picture on it. But I do have a heart shaped pendant that has his fingerprint and the bale is a ruby, his birthstone for July.💜 I haven't taken it off since the order came in in April 2016. Helps me feel closer to him. I'd smack that ho if she tried to say anything about my necklace, his ashes, or any of my deceased family.😠

[@samuelkremer441]

One thing I like to poin about the cane story. It was the mom who didn't want to call an ambulance forcing the dad to drive instead. So by the twisted logic of that horrible witch, it's not the daughter who "killed" him, it's HER OWN FAULT for not wanting to pay for the ambulance wich forced the dad to drive.

[@cryptiecreep]

"Glorifying death"... you mean literally acknowledging that death exists??? You know that someday you're going to have to explain to your precious wecious baby waby why her grandma isn't there, right? And just watching Coco isn't gonna cut it

[@lily-zg6io]

exactly, where do you draw the line? Is going to her grave ok? Is talking about her ok? Having a token to remember your loved one by isn't creepy, it's having a healthy relationship with death, knowing it's a part of life, and not necessarily a tragedy. Many cultures have rites or customs regarding death that are far less healthy than a necklace (leaving the body in their bed for 3 days after it died for example)

[@leaflet1686]

I think Coco is a good start, but OP will not do that because it well... "Glorifies death" ^^'

[@PeacheIIe]

Yes it is coco is amazing

[@taylorminter8900]

I've heard the story about the girl with the cane before on another youtube channel, and on there they told the reason why they need the cane, and why her dad had to take her to the hospital himself, and inadvertently got into the accident. Her mother was terrible before the dad died, and really she is projecting the blame on to her daughter. I'm glad she's with her grandparents now.

[@koolkittykat04]

So... why did she need the cane?

[@quinhoprimeiro1049]

Everytime i read someone say that they hate somebody else's "stupid boundaries" the alarm goes off and red flags are raised...

[@bluepearl13thecorgi74]

I started crying on the fourth story. Oh my goodness. I was in an accident about 4 years ago that killed my mom. I blamed myself for a long time. No one blamed me though. OP’s mother and stepfather are trash. They should not treat a grieving child like this. I am shaking. How could anyone hurt a kid like this? OP should never return to their mother and stepfather. They have wonderful grandparents and I hope they have a wonderful life from here on out.

[@DestinationsChronicles]

Yes, OP ITA. Those necklaces are an incredible gift. That's not a random persons ashes it's their BIOLOGICAL GRANDMOTHER

[@icantchange.youtubesaysine7338]

The cane story was so heartbreaking to listen to when I first listened to it on markee. Op has been brainwahsed and conditioned to forever blame their self. It's so fucking heartbreaking. Five. FIVE!!! They were five. A five year old can't be put at fault for an ACCIDENT!!!!! They're called accidents for a reason.

[@catandrobbyflores]

I saw this story on another channel and the op comments that they jumped from the stairs because she thought she could fly because of her super girl costume. I've done something similar as a kid but hearing that broke my heart because she did that and got hurt she thinks it's her fault her dad had to take her to the hospital.

[@icantchange.youtubesaysine7338]

@@catandrobbyflores yeah, I saw that too, that’s why she thought it was her fault. Like as a mother, your meant to reassure your child it wasn’t their fault. That’s why ACCIDENT was in all caps. Because no one can be blamed for an accident. If we could, I would be guilty of almost getting my self and someone else killed due to us accidentally falling on the road and making a car swerve. It’s called accidents for a reason. I feel so bad for OP and I know she doesn’t want to ask for therapy because of her grandparents situation but I was glad to see many linked free help serves. It’s a sad story and I hope it happens to no one ever again. Also, how was your day today? Doing okay? Do anything fun?

[@catandrobbyflores]

@@icantchange.youtubesaysine7338 my day is going ok. At work on my lunch break with 4 hours left to go. How about your day?

[@terramarini6880]

yup, my brother got this great idea after all the snow had been shoveled off the roof (ladder was left up) that it was the perfect time to try the "umbrella as a parachute" thing we saw in cartoons and if it failed he would land in the snow pile...snow piles compact into ice when thrown off a roof and are no longer soft and fluffy and no, umbrellas are NOT parachutes.

[@zerobolt9506]

Yea I heard it there too

[@christyclarissemercier6359]

I tried to do time stamps y'all. Story 1 0:22 Story 2 4:18 Story 3 7:35 Story 4 10:06 Story 5 13:43 Story 6 15:56 Story 7 19:56 Story 8 22:26

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

I hope both sides of your pillow is cold

[@thislookslikepatrick5070]

@@browhattheactualfu-2659 who hurt you

[@christyclarissemercier6359]

@@browhattheactualfu-2659 thank you

[@christyclarissemercier6359]

@@thislookslikepatrick5070 Don't worry I live in Florida, that's a good thing.

[@Bleg94]

the cane story: IF ANYTHING it is the mothers fault for not allowing them to call an ambulance, but it definitely is not OPs fault

[@writing_monkey6215]

I thought the same thing. The wife killed her own husband by refusing an ambulance.

[@nerdy_evy]

Story 2: your siblings relationship with your siblings is none of your concern. You can't just invalidate their feelings like that

[@aless2906]

The story about OP moving out because her family keeps stealing her cane broke my heart when you read it on your stream Mark

[@gaxalee7392]

If someone was constantly waking me up in the middle of the night because they don’t want to get help for their health issues, I’d sleep somewhere else too. I’d also quietly glare and grunt or ignore them when they tried to play victim. I don’t fall asleep easily. It’s usually just past midnight, on a good night, that I can get to sleep. I’m rarely able to nap(maybe 3-5 times a year), and I wake up tired. Exhaustion is a part of my life and if someone were exacerbating it, we’d be fighting.

[@brigettebridges9293]

If anyone is to blame for the fathers death it would be the mother for being so cheap to not allow an ambulance to be called!!! OMG!!!!! I cannot believe what I just heard! NTA.... but your Mom and stepdad are! I'm glad you went to your grandparents. Please stay there and get some therapy if you can. Bless your heart.

[@LadyTarasque]

First story: I agree with other comments.. sounds like OP has deeper issues than a necklace with ashes (and she's misguided on thinking it's glorifying death) . I mean, she could always wait until the kid is older before giving it to her.. Cane story: OP should have told that "woman" that it was her fault that the dad is dead.. if the woman wasn't being a cheapskate, he wouldn't be dead (mind ya we don't know exact circumstances.. could have been that the dad wanted an ambulance despite costs). Seriously risky business to try racing to a hospital.. Anyways, so glad OP's grandparents are way awesome (unlike that goblin child of theirs) and close enough to help. Hope they get custody..

[@ACCER]

I have to admit, I'm impressed by the guy that had the sleep study and DIDN'T end up with a CPAP. Everyone I know who has ever had one done ended up with one. Poor guy needs his sleep and his GF isn't doing anything to help herself in this situation. He's NTA.

[@ettinakitten5047]

Story 2: If you have children, then no, you shouldn't put your spouse first. Your children should come before your spouse. OP sounds like a spoiled Golden Child.

[@ryanalley5495]

1st story, sister in law is not “glorifying” death and the way OP talks about her is very judgemental and unwarranted, YTA OP

[@Nightlady0228]

Yeah, the whole “glorifying death” was weird to me....We’re all gonna die? Now that the daughter is old enough to wear the necklace, giving it to her and explaining that grandma is dead would be the best time to start introducing her to the concept of death. Memorializing someone is not glorifying them. My grandpa wasn’t was present in my life as in older sister’s but I still remember he was nice to all the grandchildren, so I love hearing about him from my sister and cousins that interacted with him longest

[@Someone-or8tp]

@@Nightlady0228 yeah and it's not like they're saying "I can't wait to die and for your child do die so we can meet her together" or something.

[@michellekercy4430]

Personally I would never ever want my child to wear my dead grandmas ashes. It's a different story if it's her old jewelry or something to remember her but her actual ashes no thank you. And I love my grandma and miss her everyday

[@magnificentlyflawed3177]

Story1 is so weird and makes me so uncomfortable. Why would a person want their child to wear such a morbid thing. Now when the child grows older and can understand the meaning and wants to wear it then that's one thing but to put it on a child and they cant even comprehend death is just creepy af. Me and my siblings decided to do the same thing for my dad and make jewelry we can wear out of his ashes when he dies but I would never but that jewelry on my child if they don't understand it.

[@ecaterinavisan8178]

"That woman has no personality and is basically in a cult." Me: ...Hmm either vegan either part of a MLM I will assume? "So she is vegan." Me: Yep, those choices are always a safe bet. Edit: Because I got to the age gap story. Some people are super butthurt about dating anyone with an age gap. When I started the relationship in witch I am now, people were constantly warning me to be careful, dating an older men can be dangerous. He has more life experience, he could outsmart me and groom me into dangerous stuff...He is 26 and I am 22(he just turned 25 when I meet him). Its only a 4 year difference. People often assume we are the same age(he looks a lot younger that he actually is) or than I am the older one because I tend to act more serious. 99% of the time I forgot he is older than me, the 1% of times I do remember is when people ask me his age or when his birthday is getting closer. What the actual hell people? How is that a dangerous age gap?

[@RudesMom]

That 4 year age gap is a problem when he's 18 and you are 14. But 21 and 25 when you met (or even 20 and 25), not seeing a problem. Folks should mind their own business.

[@babycakez8070]

Your actual quite similar in age. The 4yr difference is all that and is quite normal. They are stupid and your situation isn’t remotely similar. When you have 10 year + the financial difference is very apparent especially when one is early 20s and it very easy to become dependent and then financially trapped for both genders. And for some couples baby trapped. It the same worry that people have when some is a millionaire and date someone that financially unstable/broke. They can groom them get the accustomed to a lifestyle so they won’t leave, then they change and become abusive. You see it happen so may time, and if age isn’t the factor money is. They have a power that they use to abuse the other person. It not everyone but it happens a lot.

[@rossvegas1346]

4 years isnt a dangerous age gap at all between adults. Between a 15 year old and a 19 year old? Yeah, that’s a problem. But you and your boyfriend are adults in your twenties who are in similar places in your lives developmentally. He doesn’t have decades of experience of being an adult on you.

[@terra_the_nightingale135]

The age gap means nothing when you’re both adults. A 12 year old vs. a 16 year old is obviously very different, but a 20 something year old? You’re both adults.

[@pansprayers]

Yeah, there's a six year age gap between me and mine. I've seen grooming happen regardless of how much of an age gap there is. Quite frankly, if there's going to be abuse in a relationship, the party who is inflicting it on the other is going to do it, regardless of age. I approach age gaps as I do any other relationship: If they are both happy, consenting adults, f*ck what anyone else has to say. From a psychological standpoint, men do tend to mature at a later age than women. I dated people close/identical to myself, and there's no way I could have maintained a 15 year marriage/18 year relationship with them like I have now. Hell, if my husband were to die tomorrow, I wouldn't even consider dating someone my own age (probably wouldn't date regardless because it sucks and I don't have the energy to go through that crap again, but still). A six year age gap is actually pretty normal, statistically.

[@crittermatters2561]

Hi, I started listening to you while in quarantine (I had covid pretty badly for the whole of April last year and was locked in an ensuite room in halls for about 2 months). There were whole days when these videos were the most human interaction I got, and it helped me get better. Thank you so much ❤️

[@Park-Kim_VMin]

Hope you're doing better. ♥️♥️

[@crittermatters2561]

@@Park-Kim_VMin I am, thank you!❤️

[@susanminer2088]

❤️❤️❤️

[@Nyx_De_Muertos]

2nd story: OP is well aware they're the golden child but then just brushes over their sibling's trauma. 0/10 sibling.

[@amysunday0]

Story 1: my paternal grandmother passed away in 1977 at just 32 years old. I obviously never knew her, but I would have loved such a gift. As pictures of her in her 20s look like they could be of me, I feel very close to her even though she passed 20 years before I was born. Unfortunately it is illegal to keep ashes of family members where I live :(

[@vlkafenryka788]

The cane story I’ve heard several times and wish OP would fire back at their mom “ NO , it’s your fucking fault dad’s dead you were so fucking cheap that you forced him to drive instead of getting an ambulance YOU caused his death”

[@pipkin5287]

*"It's not healthy to glorify death"* These guys should probably consider how other cultures handle their dead when saying such a thing. A lot of South American homes literally have their dead hanging out for weeks so everyone can say good bye to them. Same with a lot of African families. In many parts of the world, death still hurts, but people have a much closer relationship with it and someone would argue that *that* is a whole lot healthier.

[@belledomnik]

Bottom barrel people. Why is step dad going into her underwear draw? Something in the milk ain’t clean

[@berylwheaten9385]

@Belledomnik Gurl, we on the same page. Am I understanding this story correctly? Like why the hell is this grown @$$ man hiding things in this girl's underwear drawer??? WHY doesn't her 'mother' find it creepy that this dude is practically going in the girl's underwear drawer at like all hours of the day? 🤔😤🤔😤🤔 That's susp

[@zerobolt9506]

I honestly didn't hear this part when I watched it on Markee's channel, I like others must have overlooked it.

[@charlottewalnut3118]

Yeah I agree here

[@47896285pgdfzgnd]

I'm really not a live stream person so I really appreciate this. Thanks Mark! Hope you and your family are doing okay!

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

A majority of people would find wearing a dead persons ashes macabre and creepy; I believe, it depends on where you live and how your were brought up. I know, in my community, people would see it as distasteful and a lack of disrespect for the deceased.

[@dagnytheartist]

21:23 I think enough time has passed that I can tell this story. I was a part-time grocery store bagger. I was going on vacation for a couple of weeks, and asked the New Manager if I could not be written on the schedule for those weeks. She said that was fine. I made sure to ask again, and she said that as long as I sent a text of the days I'd be gone, I was all set. I sent the text, she sent a text approving, I was all set. Or so I thought. I was still put on the schedule, and when I came back everyone was mad at me and said I had two "no-show no-call" days, and that was two strikes. The head manager (not New Manager) didn't believe me even when I showed him the texts and argued that I *did* get approval for the days off and had no reason to still be on the schedule. When I confronted the New Manager, she stood there sheepishly like a deer in the headlights and meekly pointed to an envelope that said "suggestions/questions". She said I didn't follow the policy, that I was *supposed* to write my vacation days on paper and put them in the envelope. Not sure how long that policy had been in place, but I had never seen that envelope before and nobody ever told me about it. Before she started working there, my old manager would just approve of the days off in person and there wouldn't be any issue. I told her about how everyone was blaming me and asked if she would admit her mistake to the Head Manager so I wouldn't have the strikes. She said it was my fault for not using the "suggestion box." I held back tears, said okay, walked away, and fake-smiled through my shift like a good customer service robot. When my shift ended, I went to my car and was finally alone with no one to hear me. I screamed and sobbed and angrily (to myself) called that manager a cockroach and a pathetic worm and I hoped she would lose her job someday and have a miserable, rotten life. It took me maybe twenty minutes to let it out, calm down, and drive home. I'm so glad I don't work there anymore.

[@pastelbell]

Last story- Mia *NEEDS* therapy ASAP. I understand that suddenly finding your SO clearly unresponsive will cause severe anxiety, I think all of us would have the same reaction as her if that were to happen to us, because it's understandably traumatizing. But if you let that guilt, trauma, anxiety and depression build up/eat you up inside, that is an unhealthy coping mechanism that you need to address before it bursts and causes you to spiral/lose control of your mental health. Allowing your own mental illnesses to cause continuous inner turmoil is seriously unhealthy and needs to be addressed ASAP.

[@june7343]

Okay I've heard the cane story a few times now and why isn't anyone talking about the fact that the scavenger hunt that takes place is in OPs underwear draw and the STEP DAD is the one organising these so he's the one hiding stuff in her underwear draw GIRL CPS !!!

[@ravenousrex4141]

So we are all gonna just ignore the fact that the step dad facilitate these treasure hunts and CHOSES to hide stuff in OPs underwear drawer? No one thinks that's weird or was the situation already so fucked up that it wasn't even thought about?

[@NeoLotex]

Story 1: Honestly I'm with the mom here, let the husband and sister wear the necklaces, but don't burden the child with pressure of having to honor people she never knew and never will in the future as they've died decades before she was born. This often leads to people feeling like they have to live up to something. It's one thing to do that when you actually knew the people, but not like that plus husband + sister can always tell her about the grandparents later on if she wants that.

[@meridianx9020]

Because we know that necklace will have to come out time after time, at any family gathering, to 'honour' the grandmother. That poor kid.

[@shannonleeann5643]

The anxiety one is abuse. Disrupting sleep on going is a form of abuse. She can help it and I would call someone because causing harm to yourself or OTHERS gets you a 72 hour lock down.

[@novabrilliant4510]

Ugh! Vegans like that get on my nerves. I have a prodominately plant based diet due mostly to allergies. I don't expect the whole world to change to make me feel better. People like that suck the oxygen out of the room.

[@aoiphantom5254]

For the first story I would say YTA , yes as a baby I wouldn’t want my child wearing a necklace but when they’re older I’d let them and explain the significance of it and that it’s so their grandmother will always be with them even though they never met her

[@maxamillion26093]

“Punishing her for something she can’t control”. Honey you can learn to control your anxiety, you need professional help that can help you learn to control it. That’s why we have therapy and medications. I’m so sorry she went through that cause I can imagine that it was very hard to go through and I’m sorry your first shot at a therapist wasn’t ideal but you can never heal if you continue to hold onto that grief and that fear.

[@Lily_of_the_Forest]

I think the SILs ideas are actually beautiful. My best friend had a heart pendant with her beloved mother’s ashes inside.

[@protojager]

Age Gap Story: The song Maggie May by Rod Stewart is a good example of an older woman taking advantage of a young man in a relationship.

[@epicXtrollface]

First story: The child doesn't *have* to wear the necklace if they don't want to. They can always keep it as a small keepsake, and it's not weird at all to have someone's ashes made into jewelry or other trinkets. For some, it might be a bit dark, but that's only because of their own views on death. In the end, it's an unfortunate event that happens to everyone, and by normalizing it, it will make the process easier for when it happens in the future. Having a piece of jewelry with someone's ashes is also very bittersweet and, in my opinion, beautiful.

[@zefflar]

Creepy yes! NTA It's not fine to wear other peoples ashes! Your trapping the soul toe earth!

[@MF-mn4vx]

S1: NTA. I get it she respect the dead and so on. But I find it creepy. Everyone deals with death differently. And I can totally understand why OP doesn't want anything like that near her child.

[@Can_think_of_a_name]

How is "done come over without calling first" a stupid boundary? That's a normal thing, if you don't call before hand 1. It's rude, 2. They might not be there, 3. They might have plans

[@vampire9545]

NTA for death jewelry. NTA for not wedding jawn - If I was invited to wedding n my wife can't be my plus 1 I'm not going either.

[@ThunderSkull214]

"DoNt GlOrIfY dEaTh" Día de los Muertos: am i a joke to you?

[@restinwalken]

Ah the death one. *Sigh Yes YTA. Though I understand OPs discomfort. Death is a very touchy subject for many. Saying Sleeping with your parents ashes in your room isn't normal I don't want my kids thinking it is. This is where OP is wrong. It's not normal to Her but is actually very normal to many people. Her being uncomfortable is not why she's TA it's her saying others ways of dealing with death is wrong/abnormal. Go back just a 120years ago it was normal practice to wear jewelry made out of a deceased love ones hair. Normal changes and each of us decide what is normal for us. I also think the neckless was a way the sister thought her brother, OPs husband could have his again HIS mother get to be there for him. And in a weird way get to meet their child. It's not glorifying death to keep ashes in a room or make neckless out of ashes. Personally I'd recommend OP check out youtuber Ask A Mortician "Caitlin Doherty" she does a really good job at explaining different death practices.

[@zerobolt9506]

Story 4 breaks my heart, I've heard it with the little updates and OP still blames herself

[@Vadjansama]

"It's not healthy to glorify death" Mexicans after thousands of years doing this, even before every country in America came to exist: Anywaaay... Ten bis-abuelo tu pan de pueblo favorito con tu chocolate tal y como lo hacía la abuela. /rezar (here gran-granfather, your favorite bread with cocoa as grandma did it /prays)

[@101Mant]

It's not so much glorifying it in most cases as just acknowledging it and not hiding from it. We are lucky to live in a society with low infant mortality and high life expectancy. That hasn't been the case for most of history and people would be used to having people they know die.

[@MrMrSockhead]

Day: 89 of telling Mark that he is wonderful and deserves the world

[@liamlemo93scott]

I really hope mark rewards you when you hit 100 with at least a shout out 😁

[@LordSeal7]

Seals bless u

[@stardevilbunny1187]

In regards to story one, I'll have to say Op is in fact the AH. I can somewhat get how you would think that Ash necklaces would be weird. But it's not at all healthy to try to just keep death under wraps. death is a normal and common thing that happens in life it's one thing everyone has in common. The aunt isn't glorifying death. She's giving memorial gifts

[@thefriendlyfool]

Yeah but it's a memorial gift for someone that OP's kid has never met. It's more to satisfy the SIL and her take on death than anything else. Personally, I'd say OP's NTA because I wouldn't want a person who I know to give a kid of mine the ashes of a deceased relative who they've never even met or really heard all that much about.

[@reallyisay]

"sleeping in a room with parents ash's"..is OP off her rocker..ash's are sprinkled throughout the room their in an urn .. sheeeeze

[@babycakez8070]

Story 1 - She said no, and that okay no matter what the reasoning is. I think weird how everyone is okay with forcing OP to be okay with a situation she not comfortable with. And for what because she family? Just because someone family doesn’t mean you need to do and consent to everything they wants. You do don’t need to make yourself uncomfortable, because it someone else’s preferred method of grieving. Not everyone grieve the same, and not everyone agree with everyone preferred method of grieving. They need to learn to respect people boundaries rather that force OP to consent to grieve there way.

[@rachelgonzales90]

Just a few thoughts... In regards to the first story, wearing ashes in an urn pendant is perfectly normal. I lost my little boy when he was just barely six. I wear a locket with his picture and a lock of his hair on a chain along with an urn pendant with his ashes in it. I wouldn't dream of leaving the house without him. It's not weird or morbid. It's just a way for me to keep him close to my heart and remember him. And even if OP's child has the pendant that doesn't mean they're going to wear it. It is a highly personal decision that should not be made by anyone else, including OP. As for everyone who said that the mother in Story 2 should have gotten counseling for her postpartum depression, it's not that easy. When her kids would have been young, counseling was still something that was slightly considered taboo. It was difficult to find a good therapist. I speak from experience. Granted, I didn't have postpartum depression because I was a child, but I was physically, emotionally, mentally, and sexually abused. It was by three different people all within the same time period. One of the people was discovered and the courts got involved. The courts also then insisted that I see a therapist. They sent me to the one that they said was the best therapist around. Well, she sucked! She blamed me for the abuse. I used to dance and I'd wear my dance costumes to practice in around the house. She said that I was leading people on because of what I was wearing, and therefore had to take some responsibility for what I had to endure. She would repeat this often. In group sessions, she would have us play games that often involved touching and/or kissing and hugging each other. This made me very uncomfortable. I finally had enough of it one day. She had been once again telling me how I was wrong and needed to change who I was. I was getting very upset and rolling my spelling workbook up in my hands. Finally I just lashed out and hit her in the face with my work book, ran out of the building, and hid somewhere until my mom came to pick me up. I broke down in tears and told my mom what happened. She stormed into the building, I don't know what she said to them, but I never had to go back again. Some years later, I tried again. This time the therapist told me that my anxiety wasn't real and that I was just co-dependent on my mother. She tried to make me see my mother as a villain when she was the only person in my life who helped me keep any sanity at all. So after trying with this therapist for another few months, I walked away from her, too. Please don't just assume that therapy can fix everything, especially if you have the sort of experiences that I've had. I know that I'm still really messed up, but I no longer trust therapists. So you may want to cut that woman some slack. Just sayin'...

[@galactorsus_i.n.c]

I understand the mother partly in first one, im not against ash necklace but i would refuse my kids from wearing them if it contains ashes of someone they don't know. if they wanna wear it when they're older I'll be fine with it but at a young age nope. she doesn't come over as jealous people need to understand that not everyone has same view and that both sides needs respect. I would be wierded out if someone came with stuff of a person my kid barely knew. Even if it he/was family member

[@americantoadsarecool]

Last story: therapy and Fitbit. You can see the heart rate on them. If she is scared she can check the heart rate monitor without waking him up.

[@celinelovell4725]

The woman with the necklaces seems like one of these woman feels like her husband can have no other feelings for no other woman but her even family

[@andreamunoz6088]

I commented this on the livestream video but I’m putting it on here too. The first OP also has an extremely unhealthy view of death. Death is not something anyone can avoid and I feel like shielding children completely from it until you experience it makes the coping process and understanding of it very difficult. It’s an awful and uncomfortable part of life but I think it’s especially important in this case because of the situation with OP’s husband. On top of this, OP doesn’t mention her husbands feelings and sounds like she really looks down on her SIL in general, especially when she emphasised that they didn’t grow up together.

[@GothKatt]

With that age gap one, while I kind of understand that last argument as it applies to real life, I find it an incomplete picture. As concerned as I am over 10+ year age gaps, there's also nuance with "older man on younger woman", just like with a gender-reversed scenario. If you don't believe me, consider gold-diggers, not to be confused with sugar babies. They use the nuances of age gaps to take advantage of richer, older partners. Even without an income gap, a younger partner could still treat an older partner akin to elder abuse, even if the older partner isn't disabled or incapacitated enough for a nurse or nursing home, still a functioning adult. To me, it seems just as likely as the older partner "grooming" and indoctrinating the younger partner or otherwise controlling them, almost regardless of gender dynamic. In other words, power imbalances can go both ways, with gender only influencing details.

[@JaneSmith-d1h]

Amen

[@emibaka309]

Heya! Again me commenting what im doing while enjoying this video: Im painting a doll! So basically a custom order makeup for a doll that a customer wanted. Its super fun! I hope you guys have a nice day

[@MsAnimefan95]

That last commenter on Story 6 needs to stfu. She says the cousin's a hypocrite, but proceeds to make excuses for the cousin's mindset.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of you. 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@turnerwayne696]

Hugs and good vibes back to you too ,good health both mentally and physically .💖💖💖😃😃😃.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@turnerwayne696 💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@janetac1738]

Thank you so much Mark because I was so upset I missed the live stream and these were some great stories 💖❤️💖

[@janejane6754]

The first story annoyed me so much! Is it a different culture because its normal for people to keep ashes also they way OP thought it was weird the whole photo albums? That's not weird its like she's thinking her husbands mother was a unrelated stranger

[@zombiexi1292]

Sending much love to you Mark. Story 1 -YTA My mom died when I was eight and I would have been over the moon to get something like that. I probably would have worn a necklace like that every where.

[@unforgottenmemories8605]

Controversial opinion here. Story one. NAH, for a few reasons. OP’s SiL wanted to get the baby gifts. That’s fine. Most people I know when they think of a baby shower they think of baby clothes, toys, diapers, ya know. Stuff the baby can use or stuff the parents could use so they don’t have to buy it. So the first gift (the album) may be unorthodox but it’s still very sweet. The second gift (the books) is more orthodox hence why OP said “it’s normal, sweet even.” The third gift is where I’m iffy. Some people might consider that a bad thing to give. You’re basically gifting a child a dead person, to some people. That’s a bit weird. But at the same time. It’s also a very thoughtful gift so they can always have a piece of their grandmother with them. As OP said they were raised to not accept death as much, while OP’s husband said he and his sister were not raised the same. So while OP may have overreacted. I don’t quite think they’re an asshole. I think they need to chill a bit, but otherwise, I don’t think anyone is in the wrong.

[@kiki28983]

People need to learn and respect that what is normal for one doesn’t have to be normal for the other . I would personally not want my child to wear anyone’s ( not even my own) ashes around his neck ( for personal and cultural reasons). Their child can still learn about her grandmother in other ways . Their are also enough ways to talk to a child about death. Was OP wrong for saying that they were glorifying death , yes she was . She should have said that she wasn’t comfortable with it and would wait till their daughter was older .

[@unluckypuppy13]

Thank God for the comment about the power dynamics because they explained what I was thinking so much better than I could.

[@selbarton]

1: Just keep the keepsake that was meant to connect them to their family. The necklace is more like an heirloom, just something from a deceased ancestor. The creepy part is an adult so disturbed by an aunt wanting to make sure the baby will know her grandparents even if she can't meet them. 2: More siblings wanting praise for deciding for the others. 3: Showing up without calling is really rude, especially for some people. Why wouldn't she explain the white dress was her choice unless she wanted to cause issues. She sounds like the family member that wants to cause unnecessary drama. 4: Therapy. The fact OP blames himself for death of an adult. They want a scapegoat to take out their negative feelings on. While it isn't the siblings' fault they weren't taught better, the adults encouraging it need help. 5: Extremist. 6: If OP didn't want the drama, shouldn't have baited her into it. 7: Sounds like pointing out coming in was for someone else was skipped to get out of working at all. 8: He better not live in the same house because her anxiety will still have her going down the hall. She can get help and find support that doesn't choose to ramp it up with still leaving her to fear waking up in a home with a corpse again.

[@galli0]

Im so happy you did this, ive never liked livestreams so i was sad i missed out on a video from you, so thank you!

[@adamwilliams4928]

Story Four: Okay, wow. There are Disneyesque levels of villainy going on in that story.

[@dametriahearn7597]

As someone who's mother worked in the death industry as a mortician and raised me in it sense I was 9 months, I see nothing wrong with having death being apart of life at a young age. For me it helped me learn how to cope with loss and help me deal with the depression when ALL (and I mean all) of the men in my life died when I was between the ages of 6 and 12. I would have been a reck after my father's death on my 10th Christmas and I probably wouldn't have lived till today, where I am now in college studying to be a mortician and own my own funeral home. If I hadn't been exposed to personal and profession death at a young age, I can promise I would be with my father. Over all it was the best parenting decision my mother has ever made for me, it made me a better person to others in their most desperate times of need and healthier for myself, so I can live a life that my father and the rest of the amazing men I loss would be proud of. To be the women that they taughtand wanted me to be. Being exposed to death, did all that for me so I can not see how its viewed as a creepy, glorifying thing.

[@PeacheIIe]

Bro, how is everyone saying OP is TA in the first story? I agree that having your kids wear a necklace made from the ashes of a dead body is creepy af, it doesn't matter who the person was. I think it's a matter of personal opinion and no one is really at fault here, but the family should respect OP's wishes.

[@t900HAWK]

a very old friend of mine is in his 40s and is dating someone in their 20s at first i was skeptical because he is one of those very pervy older guys but not overboard in my opinions more of jokes with the guys kinda of old fart. but from what i understand is he actually genuinely loves her and she loves him back the reason he is ok with the age gap is he recently got out of a pretty bad marriage. he'd been married for over 20 years to a women that only loved him because she didnt have to work but when a better opportunity arose for him she didnt want to move away from all her friends. he was fine with moving a couple hours away as the job would allow him to have a small pad and still pay house payments for his wife and on weekends he would drive back and stay in town and anytime she wanted to come visit she was more than welcome. the problem arose when he scheduled some vacation time and came home earlier than expected. i know very cliche. he found out she had a secret boyfriend and she had actually gotten a job to support her boyfriend. she said it wasnt fair that she couldnt have a boy toy since he would be gone most of the week until they figured something out. since then they have split still married but separated. i took him to the bar where he was able to mingle with a much younger girl and after a few months she moved in with him. the old wife actually called me up recently and asked if he was seeing anyone and i told her she was i guess her boyfriend dumped her. she claimed she new he was cheating on her all along and thats why she got a new man but she wanted him back. i told her flat out actually he was a very faithful man through the hole deal and they only recently started dating after you left him. Since then my friend has told he that he is truly happy to be with someone who loves him for just being him.

[@azadalamiq]

that is still predatory yikes... none of that seems healthy dude is desperate.

[@Ally.81]

One i think your friend should have divorced his wife before he moved in with the gf and two i don't mind the age gap and not all the older men dating young girls are doing with bad intentions... My sister was 19 when she meet her husband(11yrs older) and he never once said anything bad to her, you can see how much he loves her by the way he looks at her and she runs the house, so no power trip there or anything weird.

[@robertx8020]

Depending on the age of the 'younger' person (e.g. anything below 30-ish but that is personal) I see no issues! But are grow-ups and have enough life experience...you want to date someone that is much older /youner? Just go ahead! I see no problem Can there be a disturbed powerbalance? Sure! Is it only possible when there is a age difference? NO! So not related! Can there be abuse? Yes Can this not happen when both are of the same age? No .. So what is the reason? And don't say bs like "ow person x can't get someone else"? why is that relevant? You love someone regardless of details!

[@Lily_of_the_Forest]

Anything over 29 is a corpse, right? Sheesh.

[@taenisierra5929]

Thanks for posting this! I'm in the USA so between the time differences and work, i never catch you live. These were some pretty interesting stories so I appreciate you putting in the extra effort to make it available to the rest of us! Hope all is well :)

[@gnu740]

I usually can't do livestreams because of time zones, so I appreciate the upload!

[@TheKyrinnia]

I have a necklace with my mom's ashes and some bone pieces in it. I find it comforting that a part of my mom will always be with me and that she's not rotting in a hole in the ground somewhere.

[@christianvacchelli1953]

how odd, I'm sure there must be a typo in the title of the fourth story , I'm pretty sure the title should be "AITA for moving out after my family emotionally abused me for years?" ,after all that's pretty much what her mother is doing , poor girl ,hope she can find help now that she no longer lives with her mother

[@rachaelmorder6762]

My mother passed in 2015, I have a necklace in the shape of a conch shell with her ashes in it. I miss her every day. I plan to make sure my future children know who she is because she was still my mother and an amazing one at that.

[@clrtwallace0116]

Well done. Thank you!

[@kristinecollier8113]

The last story, she needs help now, she has PTSD. She was terribly traumatized.

[@thegigglygal5265]

How is everyone doing today. Just got home from my mom's wedding. Its SO hot in Florida

[@icantchange.youtubesaysine7338]

My day has been fine. Its freezing in the UK atm so for mothers day, which was today, we couldn't do anything outside. We did watch moves and stuff with my mum. And atm I'm playing the witcher. So my day has gone amazing. Hope yours has been amazing too.

[@epicXtrollface]

Here in the Netherlands it's been cold, windy and rainy all week. Haven't gotten a whole lot done today, but that's the nice thing about Sundays lol. Hope the wedding was fun! :D

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

Its meh here in Georgia but I took this best nap in my life.

[@tankmeltedargon8831]

It's a beautiful sunny cool autumn morning here in Australia, very good start to the day.

[@carolroberts4614]

Sunny but cool spring morning in the UK!

[@Sascha-bf1kw]

The cane story, oh my god they are not parents they are monsters NTA a billon times!!!

[@throwawayaccount9150]

Story 1: YTA OP, having ashes pressed into gemstones is a common thing and it's pretty cool and sentimental to have and do when it comes to losing a loved one. I know for sure when I pass (and call it dramatic I don't care) I want my ashes pressed and turned into a gemstone forged on the hilt of a sword. Just hang my memory on the wall and remember me as dramatic as I was even in death: a gem on a sword

[@omegasobsessions]

Guess I’m not normal then. I have my cats ashes in the two lovely wooden boxes they were put in after they died in my bedroom on the display shelf… oh, and my daughter has a lovely necklace with some of her dad’s ashes that her auntie gave her, I am 100% great with it.

[@clappingpenguin4256]

Hey Mark, I hope you are doing okay. Much love and a *MASSIVE HUG* to you and any who could use one! 💛🤗💛 All my very best to you, mate! 😇🤗💛

[@LaineyBug2020]

Cane story : I posit that the MOM is the one responsible for OP's father's death because the MOM didn't want to get an ambulance, forcing said Dad to drive. She's also responsible for OP's subsequent injuries. I would throw it in mom's face how disappointed OPfather would be in her for her treatment of his daughter.

[@rossvegas1346]

I do think it’s kinda weird in story 1 that SIL did the necklace thing. I mean... my mom’s brother died in the 80s long before I was born. I never met the guy, but from what I’ve heard he seemed like a really cool guy and I probably would have gotten along with him. (I mean his death did indirectly lead to my parents meeting so if he hadn’t died I wouldn’t exist but that’s besides the point). The thought of wearing the ashes of this man who, while I do feel a connection to, I have never met and will never meet, would never cross my mind.

[@sandyjamison5929]

Pictures are great for remembering people, not everyone is OK with jewelry made from ashes. Personally, I think it's creepy to wear something that Oh, by the way, used to be a family member. It's not a momento like antique earrings, it's something actually made from cremated remains. She should put it away for her daughter until she's old enough to make her own decision about it and respect her decision. In the meantime, her daughter can learn about her grandmother from the scrapbook, dad, and her aunt, imo.

[@Park-Kim_VMin]

14:54 ~ NTA I don't like anyone who shows their lifestyle down someone's throat, that goes for meat eaters and I am one, vegetarians, or anyone religious.

[@littlestrawberryfaery]

" it's not healthy to glorify death * Me: * sweats in pagan *

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Ok, not everyone is cool with having memorial jewelry or anything else similar. She shouldn't be shamed for not being comfortable with having her baby wear it. She isn't against anyone else wearing it. You can't force someone to like what you like, if you're made very uncomfortable by it, don't force it or try to shame or guilt trip them. You wouldn't like anyone trying to force, shame or guilt trip you into something you aren't comfortable with.

[@emilydavis628]

last story, OP’s gf is going to bleed out on everybody around her until she gets help to process all of the trauma that came with her previous relationship

[@SarahRavenclaw]

Okay, first story I’m going against the grain. This child never met their grandmother, and I feel making the child wear the ashes of a dead woman she doesn’t know is weird, and holds the expectation that she should be grieving a person she never met. I say this as both a girl who grew up with dead maternal grandparents (who I’ve never “missed” as I didn’t know them and would be super wigged out if I was expected to wear their ashes. And as a woman who found out I was pregnant just two days after my fathers funeral. My kids don’t know him and I’d never expect them to wear something like that. I think the mom was a bit creeped out and I totally see why, though I do think the family album and books were nice.

[@fireflyexposed]

Story 1 - that is not glorifying death, that is memorializing a mother and grandmother. It is not creepy, what is creepy is pretending death should not be acknowledged and rather hidden away. Whether or not the necklace contains loose ashes, crystals made from ashes or which ever other way, doesn't matter, it's part of the babies family and very sweet. Death positivity is definitely needed in society (and that by no means death glorification). Foster a healthy relationship with the concepts of death and mourning. One thing that is absolutely certain in life is that you will die, everyone dies.

[@SonaArtist]

Agreed. Plus you don’t need to know someone to love them. My little brother never knew our grandmother on our moms side. But the way he talks about her, loves the teddy bear made from grandmas blanket, and liking to look at her pics is very sweet. Same with my little sister, she met her when she wasn’t even a year but loves to hold the bear. They honestly love this woman probably more than I do and I knew her for about 13 or so years. And while my little brother, who is 7, spooked by death, I believe he probably has a better relationship with it vs OP. Mainly from the fact of when he has questions involving things like death, our family is open to explaining things non graphically.

[@fireflyexposed]

@@SonaArtist that is really sweet, it's lovely to know. Thank you for sharing that

[@sagesaria]

Story 1: How the fuck is that "glorifying" death??? Is holding a memorial service for a relative "glorifying" death?! Cause that's basically what those necklaces are; MEMORIALS.