I Refused To Help My Ex Husbands Affair Partner Receive Survivor Benefits r/Relationships

[@yurionice1131]

The wife in the first story doesn't owe the mistress anything. Why didn't she take the husband to court to sign the birth certificate?

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

My guess; she was likely scared he would cut contact. She sounds like she was desperate to "win the prize" of a cheating husband. The mistress admitted to being jealous that the cheater "really loved" OP and wouldn't leave her. She also admitted that she hoped if she kept the baby, he would change his mind about leaving his wife. Given all that, she sounds desperate and like she was ecstatic for ANY attention he showed her. But he's not a fan of kids, so having one won't change anything. But if she pushed for paternity, custody, child support, etc then it would have probably pissed him off and pushed him away from her.

[@kichikitsu]

​@@Original_Tenshi_Chan or, more importantly, court ordered child support isn't as helpful some of y'all seem to think. any help he was giving her could, and likely was, better than it would've been had she taken him to court. AND that's assuming she's have the resources to take him to court in the first place -- which I sincerely doubt she did. even if she mistakenly thought a child would sway a child abuser to choose her, I doubt that was the main thing stopping her over her now 3 kids that needed more support than she could give them.

[@GrifoStelle]

​@@kichikitsuwith court ordered child support you have 1. Proof of paternity. 2. Access to state support for your kid's needs. 3. Survivor's benefits. Even when the dead beat doesn't pay, if/when the loser is dead the kid benefits, which is what the homewrecker wanted.

[@kichikitsu]

@@GrifoStelle ... you do realize she didn't murder him, right? there would be no reason for her to go after court ordered child support and risk getting less than what he was already giving her because "oh but I'll get continued support if he ever dies." no reasonable person would expect him to die as soon as he did unless he was already elderly. in hindsight, I'm sure she would've rather done so, but she's not a time traveler so it doesn't make sense to argue that she should've done so bc of shit that she wouldn't have reasonably expected back then. my point still stands and, again, yours still hinges on the idea that she'd have the resources to take him to court.

[@JSainte17]

She’s getting money for her kid even tho it’s not his while making sure his actual kid doesn’t get his money? What!?

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 1: the commenters attacking OP for not helping her late husband mistress is wild. She owes that women *NOTHING.*

[@kaykay8855]

Especially since she has no remorse, but then again affair partners rarely regret having an affair just that they got caught.

[@JoanieBean]

the mistress shot her self in the foot by how she approached the situation. she came in arrogantly and rudely - disregarding her son's half sister and her wrong doings. the mistress wanted an easy cheque and when she didnt get it she packed up and moved on. if the mistress was really sincere, she would apologise and work together with the mother to try to convince the daughter - maybe even have a relationship with her half brother. but nah she just threw insults and dipped.

[@colleens1107]

Seriously. I want to ask each one of those people if THEY would want to help their sos mistress to get money for the kid they had while married to THEM? Somehow I doubt they’d be willing to help

[@Swnsasy]

See, I think some people on Reddit just read and answer what they just think out of emotion of what is BEST instead of taking a moment to think through the circle of themselves in that situation.. That's how I answer. I take a moment to think if it was me and my husband, my mom, my whatever..

[@GalliaUchiha]

The AP has no remorse, couldn't be bothered to try to fake any, and doesn't have a right to OP's kids DNA or help. She doesn't deserve anything for fucking up her own life and being an affair partner and keeping the baby, seemingly under the impression that if she did then OP's ex would have left OP for her.

[@ladyv5655]

Sidepiece: " I don't care how my actions affected your daughter." OP: " And neither my daughter nor I care how our decision affects your son." Sidepiece:

[@akl2k7]

Then again, her response probably would be: "You should! I'm the main character here!"

[@bennyd.1862]

Your kids won't survive on your income alone so you quit your job? Genius.

[@juresichj]

Did her job pay enough to pay for the daycare?

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

​@@juresichjIf it didn't, she likely could've found other state funded ways to get help, depending on the state she's in. So she didn't even need to quit

[@ettinakitten5047]

@@lovelysakurapetalsytA lot of places don't have enough support for daycare, and it can be more economically viable for a single mom to go on welfare than to work.

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@ettinakitten5047 The daughter is a teenager

[@Ivy94F]

@@johnbradbury8610 I think they mean APs child, not OPs kid.

[@madambutterfly1997]

You can't say that you don't give a shit about the daughter but at the same time need the daughter's DNA test

[@AkiraAlexisSoyra]

Exactly, it's not the daughter's problem the mistress never got stuff sorted out before the ex's death, she's just a young girl and plus she has her own things to deal with in her own life... No one is allowed to bully her into doing things she doesn't wanna do, she should just be left alone and to live her life in peace...

[@lina9535]

Oh but she can, because her kid is the one suffering, not the daughter. This woman is a disgusting person. (First part was sarcasm)

[@jedimasters1462]

​@@AkiraAlexisSoyraA court actually can force a DNA test. Otherwise she could lose more than just half of the money.

[@MsMookalate]

@@jedimasters1462the court order can be done if there some kind of proof or evidence that he could be potentially the father. Most likely they would leave it in the family’s decision to agree or not to agree. The worst part (for the AP) is the AP is the one who would cover all the courts on her own since she participated in infidelity especially in some states that don’t take kindly to divorce and affairs.

[@nothereyetlost]

It’s just crazy. The woman is foolish is all things.

[@Empress58]

Story 1: Um…why is OP being accused of hating her husband. He’s trash. He should be hated. The AP has a lot of nerve to openly show no remorse for her actions but ask for help from the ppl affected by them.

[@audraverela3663]

The wife in the first story is wild. She doesn’t hate her ex for continually cheating on her? If my math is right she was 24 when she was married and he was 35. And it sounds like he treated his own kid like shit and that somehow wasn’t enough reason to leave him, but his cheating was? This is what I don’t get. I’m glad that poor girl is in therapy, she needs it. Also yeah, AP shoulda thought of how she couldn’t support 2 kids and decided a baby with a married man would be a good idea. Ppl are fucking nuts.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@audraverela3663 The AP was trying to baby trap him thinking that would make him leave his wife, the OP, for her. She didn't realize (which I find amazing being she had 2 kids already), that the dude didn't care about kids and her having his baby meant nothing to him LOL.

[@johnbradbury8610]

She is an idiot for not hating her husband and for staying with him as long as she did and allowing him to mistreat her daughter.

[@gaaraxnaru]

​​@@audraverela3663Based on that age gap, she probably was love bombed or something like it into that relationship, and her feelings are probably still over to place. It's hard to stop loving someone, even when they hurt you. Especially when they're clearly a manipulative piece of crap.

[@lindah3803]

Who cares if OP hates her ex. Who cares if she hates the ho. OP owes no one anything. Especially the ho. OP is responsible for her kid. No one else's. Redditors hollering about the ho's kid. Who cares. There's kids all over. A butt load have lousy home life's. Nothing special about that one. Got a problem with that kids living situation. Call CPS.

[@kieramaccourt8717]

Story 1: Why did the AP wait so long to prove paternity? Sounds to me like she's fallen on hard times again and wants to use her son to get out of them. Being angry that a teen doesn't want to be used for DNA isn't acceptable. The OP is right in letting her daughter choose--it's her body after all. People attacking OP for not helping pressure her daughter into helping is just wrong on so many levels. And the absolute lack of concern that the AP has for any one else but her and her kids just smacks of narcisism.

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

You mean a woman who would use a child as leverage to try to trap a man would also use a child as a bargaining chip to line her own pockets? Say it ain't so!

[@OneInAMillion31]

Scratch the end of your comment ig she cared about her kids she wouldn't have 3 baby daddies and not only that she had plenty of time to get proof of paternity and she failed to do so

[@nyotauhura7412]

I assume the mistress was trying to scam the ex-wife.

[@ghastlyweather1750]

Do you type on google docs a lot?

[@llamabrat07]

If she had filed right away, she might have been able to have the ex tested before he was buried & there wouldn’t have been any need to have OP’s daughter tested now. She chose to wait 3 years before filing with no proof other than her word on who her son’s father was.

[@markbenand]

I love the sheer ego, selfishness and lack of self awareness the affair partner in the first story had. She literally told OP she didn't care about OP's daughter and then almost immediately gets mad when OP expresses the same for her kids. And the excuse, "we're struggling" is bullshit because lots of people are struggling. Life is suffering. The only reason to help someone with no practical reason for it is out of a personal connection and at best OP has the same level of personal connection to the AP as a homeless vagrant on the side of the road. Both are suffering and she has the same level of connection to both so what makes AP more worthy of consideration?

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

The AP has nothing BUT the audacity. It's just the Lion, the Witch, and the Audacity of this Bitch. But for real though, when the AP came back with "we're struggling", I would have had to snap back with "Funny that, we're struggling too. Except that YOU are an entire half of the reason why we're suffering". Never give that AP an inch because she's already looking for a mile, as well as additional ways to hurt you.

[@kaykay8855]

I mean she could have pretended to be remorseful because her lifeline is in op’s and op’s daughter’s hands.

[@ArcanineEspeon]

Less, because at least the homeless vagrant never did anything to hurt OP.

[@ginathecookie]

​@@kaykay8855the fact she didn't has me amused she didn't realise how much she shot herself in the foot there

[@kaykay8855]

@@ginathecookie I guess she thought that op would be that much of a sap to agree

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 1 NTA. She had plenty of time to sort out paternity while he was alive. This woman is evil. I feel bad for her children, but that's not OP's problem. Again this woman is completely evil and gross. The daughter nor OP are obligated to help

[@johnbradbury8610]

Why does OP keep saying "it's my daughter's decision" when she is the one on reddit trying to get everyone's approval. Make up your mind OP.

[@nataliereeves3594]

Call cps on her, these kids deserve better.

[@catandrobbyflores]

I hope op gets a restraining order on the side piece

[@Ivy94F]

@@johnbradbury8610 Because she was asking Reddit if she was the asshole for leaving it up to her daughter. Isn’t that what these stories are about? Someone does or says something and then they ask reddit after the fact, if they were right or wrong.

[@Russman67]

Story 1: It's not on OP to validate the mistress' child with her ex. She knew she was having trouble with her other two kids while she was pregnant. She should have established parentage then. Three years later and out of the blue? You are out of pocket with that request. OP has no reason to help underscore what a pile her ex was.

[@Swnsasy]

How on earth should she help the mistress?! This is the consequences of her actions! You mess, with a married man you take the consequences of those actions period. OP doesn't need to do a damn thing that SHE doesn't want to do and I'm glad that she told her daughter because this is also her life too!

[@kaylalaster1038]

S1- If cheaters/affair partners dont have NOTHING, they will have the absolute AUDACITY !

[@LadyPatricia362]

Story 1 AP didn't care about Op's family or marriage and didn't think enough of her son to fight it out with the husband to get him to sign the baby's birth certificate for year's before It's exposed died it is not the daughter's responsibility to be dragged into think mess until she decided she wants to

[@diamcole]

Sucks for the kid but one of those "eff around and find out" situations. Why you would expect someone to behavior "honorably" when you haven't is pretty ironic. Mistress knew what she signed up for in dealing with a married man and while she didn't make vows herself, she's a grown woman and actions have consequences. Consequences rarely just touch you but trickle over to those around you.

[@ineedhoez]

It doesn't matter. My character is my character. It is not dependent on others people's behavior. Also, the child is being penalized

[@aylanae4797]

​@@ineedhoezthe mama shoumd have thought of her kid being penalized while lregnat. Go preach to the choir..

[@diamcole]

@@ineedhoez The child is being penalized through no fault of OP’s. She can’t force her daughter. No, the child is dealing with the ramifications of the mother’s poor character and decisions - but it’s far easier to push blame outward than hold yourself accountable.

[@lusnoct4298]

@@ineedhoez The child should get used to being punished because of her mother's actions. With a mother like that, a lot of people are going to avoid having anything to do with her.

[@SaphireSalvatore940]

My nan lost her husband of 50+ years. The last thing they bought together was a little Solar bird bath with ducks. During the heatwave a rather large cat or a fox climbed up for a drink and knocked the bowl off breaking the umbrella bit where the water came out. The amount of times I tried to repair that thing was a nightmare but my nan wouldn't have a new one because it was the last thing they bought together, some things simply cannot be replaced and to press the issue only causes upset

[@thomasjoseph5876]

Well, a birdbath ISN'T an heirloom ring that was passed down. The birdbath was simply broken as a result of Mother Nature, no one's fault. The ring got lost by the fault of the wife (I question how "valuable" this ring really was to her that she lost it so quickly after receiving it). Did your nan get upset at you for trying to fix the broken birdbath??? I bet not. Perhaps you and Nan could have gone out and picked out a new one together that could sit near the old broken one. The thing is, the OP spent HIS TIME, EFFORT, AND $9K to try and help the love of his life become happy again. It's not like he was trying to deceive her for nefarious reasons. He did it out of LOVE for his wife. What does the wife do??? Lashes out at him for trying to do the right thing. That new ring should hold much more value than the old one and if the wife can't see that, perhaps the OP needs a new wife who probably could see that. I bet the wife's Gramma would agree.

[@jojoone1099]

​@@thomasjoseph5876 No. She would have made the replica herself, if that's what she wanted. He should have told her the truth. She's an adult, not a child.

[@SaphireSalvatore940]

@@thomasjoseph5876 a birdbath they bought together isn't a heirloom?! No way! 😱 You are missing the point intentionally. She wasn't mad he spent time and effort on a gift and infact accepted it once they cleared the air. The point was she voiced her opinion on it, he regardless continued on his idea because he felt he knew best and then PRETENDED ( ooo I can Caps Lock too! ) it was the original one. OP meant to cheer his wife up and make her happy 100% there was zero malice behind it, he was misguided and seems to have understood that in the end.

[@kichikitsu]

​@@thomasjoseph5876no, a more accurate comparison would be if she asked her grandma if she could just replace the birdbath, to which her grandma told her no without explicitly saying a "no." because grandma didn't say "no" clear and concise, she decides to replace the birdbath behind her back and trick her into believing it's the same old birdbath by faking a scene where she finally manages to fix it. OP did not attempt to do the right thing nor deceive her out of love. If he did anything out of love, it would have been to LISTEN TO HER when she told him no. But he's so self-absorbed that he literally went "well I'm not hearing a no soo ..." [when the reasons she gave were clearly a no] and wasted 9K on something she did not want... and then went as far as to trick her to get her to accept something HE KNEW SHE DIDN'T WANT. OP literally admits he lied in that single action; he cannot play the fool and pretend he "didn't understand she didn't want it bc she didn't say no," because he wouldn't have staged such a scene if he didn't know already. The only fix to this problem is finding the actual ring. Not anything else. OP's wife made that damn clear. OP decided to ignore her wishes and deceive her. She is allowed to be hurt and angry at the bullshit he pulled. It doesn't matter who's "at fault." In any way. Also, fuck outta here with that "uhm why didn't you just attach it to your skin if it mattered that much to you" nonsense.

[@lusnoct4298]

@@thomasjoseph5876 Oh, yeah. I'm always grateful when people disregard my own wants and needs because they think they know me better than I know myself! /s

[@nightstarstar1]

Story 2- where he went wrong was allowing her to believe it was the original ring. He should’ve presented it to her instead of tricking her. Trying to get her a replacement was very sweet but faking her out is really rude.

[@Splatoon_Kirby]

She even outright said to him that a replica would not be a replacement to grandma's ring. He was so focused on wanting to 'fix' the issue that he didn't stop to think that he had more solutions to explore or that she was telling him right THERE with that statement that making a replica ring wouldn't make her happy.

[@BNezzy]

men get blinded by just wanting to fix stuff for people they love. Contrary to what most people think, husbands and fathers usually only have good intentions from the heart in what they do. Its just that we lack the emotional/sentimental awareness with most things that trips us up. But yeah, this guy messed up by tryign to trick the wife into thinking it was the original ring.@@Splatoon_Kirby

[@mortimerbrewster3671]

That may be so but I don't think he was the AH. It came from a motivation of love and the wife should have been happy with that. She didn't need to tell the family that it was a replica so there would have been no "embarrassment" and, frankly, who would be embarrassed by that? He should have presented it to her but after that the wife is the AH. Unnecessarily overly-dramatic overreaction to a thoughtful gift presented stupidly.

[@nightstarstar1]

@@mortimerbrewster3671 lying to your spouse and trying to trick them is treating them like a child. It’s not acceptable and no one should put up with that. It’s not overly dramatic for that to piss you off.

[@mortimerbrewster3671]

@@nightstarstar1 I think motives are important to take into consideration when looking at peoples actions or words. If you consider love to be a motive to piss you off, go for it.

[@krystaldelmonico7294]

"Quite frankly didn't care about mine"......Well there is the answer. What goes around comes around.

[@kucsidavee]

Story 1: OMG the audacity. She had so much on her plate with her children, and "quite franky didn't care about mine"??? WTF And then she had the gall to say, that OP has to talk her daughter into the DNA test? I wuold have just said that "My plate is quite full with my kid and quite frankly, don't care about yours. Sound familiar?" What a total B. Edit: Ha! The first comment and I were on the same page lol :D

[@harleynovak3297]

😹 I was right there with both of you!

[@Ivy94F]

And I loved how the first response post was structured, too.

[@childfreechick2980]

Story 1: well if it isn’t the consequences of the APs actions. You can’t be a willing and unremorseful participant in destroying a family and think the person you hurt is supposed to show you kindness. Ppl need to stop using children to guilt ppl into ignoring their boundaries toward ppl who have harmed them.

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

"Ppl need to stop using children to guilt ppl into ignoring their boundaries toward ppl who have harmed them." The sad part is that they do it because it often works. Most people lose all sense of reason and rationality and become total doormats the moment children enter the picture.

[@user-blob]

How did she destroy that family? To my mind, she exposed a cheater. She’s obviously horrendous but side pieces are useful.

[@sgnibble1]

@@user-blobdid you listen to the story? She got involved with a married man and had issues raising her other 2 kids

[@akl2k7]

@@user-blob She didn't, but, like the person you're asking said, she was "a willing and unremorseful participant" in it. She helped destroy it by enabling the husband's cheating despite knowing he was married.

[@Ivy94F]

@@user-blob The post says a PARTICIPANT in destroying the family, which she was.

[@TheShadowSentinel]

Story 1: when AP said to OP that she "quite frankly didn't care about mine" she should've throw that phrase back at AP when she got angry for OP's refusal.

[@hilarymurray8741]

First story : Never believe what an AP says. They are highly manipulative and will say anything to make you believe them for their own purposes.

[@InuMokuba]

The AP has the gall to say she has so much on her plate and that "quite frankly didnt care about mine" Welp, "I quite frankly dont care about your kids" is the proper response.

[@holyek7892]

I hate cheaters. OP shouldn't have paid anything for the funeral. The AP needs to remember the actions that got her in trouble, are the new source of income.

[@Ivy94F]

She did it for her daughter, which is understandable. But if it wasn’t for that, I wouldn’t care either.

[@abelink9229]

Story 1: if you're already struggling with two kids, maybe don't spread your legs without double protection from conception! I'd say "don't mess with a married man", but that's apparently too difficult for those people!

[@kissedbypalefirex]

story1:op is NTA....the woman helped herself to a married man, its not op's business, this woman isn't op's friend, she owes the woman NOTHING. The mistress needs to go to court, get a lawyer.

[@MartushkaMontanaXof-vd3ie]

Story 1. If OP is in the States, Social Security has some strange rules about survivors benefits. They allow a certain amount of $ for a child and the Mother. If another Mother and child show up & prove paternity, the amount of $ for the first child and Mother automatically decreases by 1/2 of the total benefits. Mom can collect until the kids are 18 years old or until they graduate High School. The kids can still get benefits as long as they go to College. So the Mother has no reason to help out someone who will cause her to loose benefits. With the new laws for Social Security this may have changed, but I had a friend that this happened to & she refused also. There are other reasons to decline, say that a life insurance policy shows up in 5 years. Daughter then can have help for College. If Brother is proven, she automatically loses 50% of it. Totally NOT worth it!!!

[@laurenevers8644]

"LOSE" benefits, not loose. But yes, exactly right, affair kids getting benefits from their greedy, home-wrecking mothers almost always negatively affects the cheated on wife's kids.

[@medusawitchful]

Glad in my country it didn’t work that way. If he didn’t sign, AP’s child will get nothing even if it was his child. 😂 only children who legitimate will get anything

[@shhd2105]

She doesn't owe that lady anything, especially after the fact she sat there in her face and told her she didn't care about OP daughter and what happens to her since she had to focus on her kids. Well guess what op has to focus on her own duaught and can't focus on your kids, thats so hypocritcal.

[@dianasmith8248]

Story one: NTA, people on Reddit were really nuts with their judgments on this one. Clearly, OP is not the asshole, it’s not her responsibility to help the former mistress, nor should her daughter have to be forced by anyone to do a DNA test. OP is being a great mom is by respecting her daughter’s autonomy by not forcing the issue. She’s asked her more than once, and her daughter said no and that’s that. OP did her job by giving the lady her late ex-husband’s brother’s name and now she can go do some research and try to find the man to see if he is still alive and if he is see if he will do a DNA test . But the mistress just further proves what a vile human being she is. She’ll already had two existing children that she could not take care of, so she further screwed them by having a third one that she could not take care of. Then she was irresponsible and voluntarily quit her job because it was too hard working with OP.

[@kiarar.1219]

Story 2: the issue is not that he replaced the ring. He could have told her “hey, I know you’re sad about the ring, I made you this as a replacement until we find the original”. But NO, he decided to MAKE HER BELIEVE it was her grandma’s ring. He played with her feelings. Of course he’s the AH! 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@carolroberts4614]

So many people are blinded by the fact that he spent $9000 dollars on it! That's not the issue.He tricked her into thinking she had her sentimental item back! That's it!

[@peachesnsht]

Tbh, I don't think Op is an AH, I mean, he's the AH in the story but not an AH himself. But he's very stupid and naive and that will be the end of his marriage as he's unable to understand how he f'd up.

[@damien678]

He either should've presented it to her upfront that it's a replica, or commit to the trick and never, ever have admitted what the ring was

[@sammielopez620]

Though I feel sorry for the kid caught in the crossfire, OP shouldn’t be forced to help. I hope there is a way to help the kid without helping the mistress.

[@jenniferwouters2496]

“OMG not more jewelry!” gave me the cackles.

[@Acatandanomad]

Cuddling with my cat and listening to Mark are my favorite parts of the day. Mel, my cat, loves listening with me. Thank you for posting, Mark!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Aww I send head pats to the kitty

[@Acatandanomad]

@@broken_queer_but_fighting8589 he loves head pats! He's currently napping on my shoulder, silly cat. He loves being in the waffle gang!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@Acatandanomad awww that's so cute 🥺

[@lina9535]

My guinea pig usually listens with me. I can't gauge how much he enjoys it just yet (there are some that he "chirps/purrs" for when he hears them), but he always looks relaxed so it's probably somewhere over the middle on the "enjoyment scale"

[@tazhienunurbusinezz1703]

The problem that I see with going to Reddit for advice is that anyone giving it has all the time in the world to come up with a perfect response (& they heavily judge you for not having done so immediately in the moment) & since they don't have to deal with any of the fallout, it's easy to advocate for always doing the "right" thing (according to what they want the story to have been) in a very black & white way. They don't have to deal with the rage of a teenager forced to do something she isn't ready to do. They don't have to suddenly find more money when the survivor's benefits are split to include the new kid. They don't have to deal with the teen's feelings about her being able to do less things & save less for college cuz this new brother she doesn't know & didn't ask for now gets a cut of the money that up until then was only hers. Yea, I totally buy that all those redditors who are giving OP flack for not forcing her daughter to do the test would all immediately do so if it were them in that situation (said with very heavy sarcasm).

[@madambutterfly1997]

Let's assume that exhuming the body for a DNA test is out of the question

[@theblackKatKuro]

They'd need the wife's permission for that too.

[@sherimarvin5938]

If I reading the dates right, she had 2 years or so to get a paternity test after the divorce and before he passed. Not ops problem

[@paden1865able]

I think they have to prove that the cause of death is shady/suspicious and the body has to be examined to find out.

[@tatkkyo9911]

​@paden1865able no but that is one way to pull the body if the family is against. There's a list of ways to get it done without family consent but it's a shit show of court that will take years.

[@BruinPhD2009]

@@tatkkyo9911 I don’t know if you remember this story, but a couple years ago they exhumed the body of Salvador Dali after YEARS of legal wrangling. A woman in Spain had been told all her life that he was her father and sued for the exhumation. Surprise Surprise! He was proven NOT to be the father. In my mind, unless there’s a suspicion of foul play, we should let sleeping dogs lie (pun intended). For sure and her daughter owe the affair partner nothing.

[@strawberrysangria1474]

Story 1: What goes around comes around. The sidechick gives no empathy and deserves none back.

[@elenagaroti]

She should have kept her legs closed

[@lynsthoughts3576]

You owe his MISTRESS nothing, not nothing !

[@artemishallihan8973]

Story 2 - well intended thoughts op but no one likes being tricked which is kind of what you were trying to do. Would have been better to give it straight and say " I know it's not a replacement but think of it as a memorial of the original"

[@Standinthegap4ever]

If you had given it to her instead of hiding it for her to find…. “Honey, I know it’s not the same… I know how much the ring meant to you & this will NEVER replace the original… yet wanted to give you something similar. To show that I care.”…. The outcome would be different.

[@Taecoconut]

Story 1: OP owes that woman and ex husband nothing. Tbh, she should protect her daughter and make sure he daughter has nothing to do with the affair partner and her children. She obviously will use everything in her power to get her hands on the money.

[@littlegreycat]

That AP bit the hand that could have fed her before she ever got close to her goal. What a terrible selfish person.

[@theseawriter]

I’m on my way back home from meeting with my cousins. It was nice to see them, but my uncle is still being… difficult & refusing to admit wrong. Made half my family cry by not even showing up to say bye. But hey, we’re on our way home now, so we can cuddle with our cats. There’s (almost) one for each of us!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Aww I send the kitties head pats and I hope tomorrow is sweeter 🤗🤗💜💜

[@mcd08]

Sounds like you need another kitty! ❤

[@flavialm1]

Ring story, I inherited my grandmother's pearl earings, one of the pearls were damaged so I had it replaced, but I keep the damage one as it had sentimental value. I also had it replicate so I could were it whenever I wanted without the fear of losing it, and I only use the original one in special moments, I know is mental but the replica still reminds me of her without the weight of the fear of losing it.

[@jenniferrichards2122]

S1, I cannot muster a single ounce of sympathy for the AP. She had an affair with someone else’s husband? And thought another baby would be a good idea to add to her other two she cannot handle? Sounds like she tried to baby trap him and it backfired. I would never have agreed to meet her and OP’s friends are jerks.

[@CrystallynRose]

S1: So AP really needs OP's daughter's help and goes to OP begging to help her and she can't even pretend to give a shit about OP's daughter? That really would have clinched it for me. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. If you want something you approach the person you're asking nicely. That was a big mistake on AP's part. It just showed how self-absorbed she was and how she had zero regrets. Not even a teeny tiny bit of guilt. I would feel the same way as OP did. F that woman.

[@dindog22]

the affair partner in story 1 is getting her karma now

[@JMac7395]

STORY 1: OP & her daughter are not legally or morally obligated to help her husband's mistress. It's not the daughter or OP's responsibility to shoulder the mistress's burdens. Anyone trying to shame OP can kick rocks & check their conscience at the door. The mistress is selfish, devious & entitled. She got with OP's husband with a goal in mind, but failed to secure the bag. Now she's try to get her claws into OP by proxy the daughter

[@mikeremski2102]

S1: Plot twist, the daughter finally agrees and the mistress kid is not a match.

[@sarajoanna1618]

Hahahaha the audacity lmaoo what a sl*t

[@crem-crem4070]

Story 1: I don’t even understand people who are so remorseless about their morally reprehensible behaviour, at least have the decency to PRETEND to care. This lady’s apathy borders on the sociopathic

[@messinalyle4030]

2nd OP sounds like one of those men that think if they just throw enough money at another human being's problem, it will go away. Especially if he adds that all-important element of surprise and non-consent/not talking about it first.

[@mogulmade]

HE GODDAMN TRIED! WIFE was negligent enough to lose the heirloom. He is trying to fix her mistake. I would've sold the ring and forgotten about it. And I'm a woman

[@susankaempfer8427]

@@mogulmadehonestly, at this point it wouldn’t surprise me to find out he actually lost the ring but left that bit out of the story because it would make him look bad 😂

[@HarryVibes36]

@@susankaempfer8427your face says all I gotta know. Shut up lol

[@tammygrubbs3258]

Story 1: the woman that had the affair with a man knowing he was married then, had a child with him should have paternity established when her child was born. I feel sorry for the kids but not the woman that had the affair with a married man.

[@abubarrie88]

Clearly the affair partner is not struggling that hard. Cuz if she was she wouldn’t have quit the one job she did have even if it was part time. Now how is she gonna take care of three kids lol. She should have thought about that before having a kid with a married man who told her he wouldn’t leave his wife for her. Karma

[@ZombieSazza]

The blue John cavern story from Mark further proves that Mark is a proper sweetheart, that’s such a lovely thing to do for your relative! Not the same really but I’ve some stuffed toys from my grandma, she died when I was a kid and was one of the few people in my life who loved me unconditionally (child abuse survivor, mother/brother very toxic, she cut all contact with my dads side isolating me growing up). She died when I was 10 and I have so many fond memories of my grandma, so my stuffed toys remind me of every time she told me I was “ubhal mo shùil” (apple of her eyes), the stories and lore she’d tell me about the area we’re from (Gaelic Scottish Highlands), of the ghost stories she’d tell, and hanging out with her whilst feeding her hoard of cats (5 indoor, I think 8 outdoor feral, yes she lived way out in the country lmao) whilst eating soup she’d made for me. If I lost one of the few stuffed toys I got from Grandma I’d be devastated and I wouldn’t be able to accept a replacement, but if someone offered to repair one of my stuffed toys I’d feel overjoyed, a couple have small tears and I’m terrified to try and fix them myself in fear of messing that up. Point to my rambling is you gotta ask the person, you can’t just decide for them, if someone took my rabbit for example and just didn’t tell me I’d be heartbroken, my rabbit that I called Rosie she got when I was born so she’s 33, sits on my bedside cabinet, I’d be heartbroken.

[@devegas4910]

Story 1: even if op DID hate her ex husband to this day, she’d be within her right to considering how he treated her and cheated on her when she needed him the most. And op was right to allow her daughter to make the decision on doing the DNA test and respecting when she chose not to. Affair partner made it clear that she didn’t care about how it affected op and her daughter so this is her karma. She chose to sleep with a married man and keep the baby when he made it clear that he wasn’t leaving his wife. She chose to make her situation as a single mother worse.

[@vwgirl]

First story, the OP is definitely not the AH. Her dead husband's AP isn't her problem, nor is the kid. The AP says her job doesn't pay enough, and yet when she doesn't get her way, she quit. Her, her kid, and her finances isn't OPs problems. If her dead husband really wanted to care for them, it was his responsibility to make arrangements, but he didn't. SS survivor benefits are rightly and legally OPs and her daughter. AP can pound sand she had 3 years 3 YEARS to make sure her kid was financially cared for, but she didn't, and now she's seeing dollar signs and a way to get back at OP for him not leaving her for AP.

[@GluttonyXX]

Story 1: I don't understand why OP Was getting so attacked for not helping the mistress? The mistress chose to spread her legs and had unprotected sex with a married man and kept the baby when she was already struggling with 2 kids. She made her choice now she's going to have to live with it.

[@jleftwing9771]

Story 1: It's her choice. I refuse to pass any judgement. That's really the other women's fault.

[@trinitylane2202]

Story 1: I wonder if DNA proved the boy was OP's ex's child if the mother could then try and get a slice of his estate? It may not just be about getting survivor's benefits for her son.

[@nothereyetlost]

So she was already overwhelmed with two kids and thought swinging her cat all over town is the best fix?

[@jfmarley5286]

Story 2: if he had made it into a necklace (with the same sort of elements of the lost ring) in the first place... 😅 The husband would have shown he understood the ring is irreplacable, but also how he knows that reminding her of her memory of it still means a lot. It would be a great story for a new piece of jewelry! Plus it would have been amazing to match the ring if she somehow ever did find it again.

[@InevitableSecrets]

Story one: the daughter is 15 and her dad is dead and she potentially has a brother. She’s old enough to make her own decision about the blood test and OP is not the AH because she let her daughter have all the info and make her own decision.

[@twentyfiveyears5010]

Story 1: I wonder if AP could try to get a court to order a DNA test? It would be interesting to see how it would play out. I also wonder whether the AP child getting benefits would reduce the amount of benefits OP's daughter? Also consider that OP's child's benefits will likely end soon when she turns 18. Story 2: Perfect example of how men always want to FIX the problem, when in this case, there is no fix. The answer here is to let the wife process her sadness and loss. It's not about the ring, it's what the ring means and its history. Well illustrated by this bit of doggerel: "This is the knife my grandpa made. My dad replaced the handle, and I replaced the blade."

[@agentzapdos4960]

The solution is for all men to go away forever so that women don't have to manage them anymore.

[@samoanjoseph1457]

Story 1: The only survivor here is OP, she survived this whole mess and is the only one entitled to benefits, and she can pass them on to who she likes... and pretty sure she doesn't like the affair partner. The daughter asked for time and she deserved it. She's the one that would have to be tested, so if she doesn't want to, end of story. Also I don't really know how you're realistically supposed to approach the wife of someone you had an affair with, but I'm pretty sure if you want her to do something for your kid, you don't lead with "I don't care about your kid". Seems like it wouldn't go well... Also I would be trimming that address book because all those mutual acquaintances who encouraged the meetup? How many of them knew about the affair while it was ongoing? And even if they didn't, if they spent five minutes with this woman they should know she was trash.

[@charmingjinx9379]

Story 1: The wisest thing said in the entire story is this, "...we subconsciously think everything will work out for the best. It never goes that way, though, does it?" The woman making the claim for support for her child (and ANYONE, really) could have used that advice before she had an affair, when she couldn't even figure out how to use birth control properly, if at all. She already had multiple children for whom she was overwhelmed in caring for. As a mother, if you have children, or even one child, the very first thing you need to know is that YOU are responsible for them. YOU have control as to whether you get pregnant again or not. YOU have to find the resources to support your children. If you don't have that mindset before you get pregnant, even though of course we know a father is equally responsible, then you shouldn't be getting pregnant at all. The responsibility that others have is irrelevant to a child who is going without, and it should be irrelevant to a woman too, if she is an adult. Feeling that someone else will financially support you is immature and stupid. The woman who had the affair is an IDIOT. Don't get yourself into a situation like this. If you have a child already and are pressured in providing for it, make an appointment with your doctor today to get a tubal ligation, because it won't get better unless you grow up, take charge of your body and make life better for you and your child(ren). That's YOUR work, not someone else's.

[@joshguerrero8760]

1. If I was OP I would have told her since you don't care bout my kid why should I care about your kids.

[@heysowhatever]

why are the state or affair partner not trying find the guys brother for the dna test, instead of putting his wife and child through that

[@MsAnpassad]

And how would she know about him?

[@carolroberts4614]

Well she was with him long enough to have a child by him, but not long enough to know he had a brother!

[@unchained_wings]

Story 1: she may have been explaining because of DMs she was getting. A lot of people don't have the balls to post their opinion if it goes against the grain so they will get nasty af in private messages.

[@ZombieSazza]

God I HATE Reddit comments, this woman was cheated on and they’re harassing her for… not supporting the MISTRESS?! Bro, these idiots just don’t care about the heartbreak and betrayal she went through and instead piled on her, what the actual?!?

[@akl2k7]

Yeah, they're all "think of the child!" when, in fact, the mistress was the one who decided to get with a married man and get pregnant by him despite already having two kids and then only work part time. Then she even quit that job! Not to mention she had two years to establish paternity. The entire situation is all her fault (other than the smattering of fault OP's husband has for cheating).

[@UchuKejiMovan]

OP gets attacked because too many people think that because children are involved you must do right by that kid even if you don't want to or aren't obligated to do so. If the OP does hate her husband oh well she's within her right to hate him, if she doesn't care about the affair child she's within her right to not give a F U C K about that kid regardless of it's relation to her daughter. Miss Mistress doesn't deserve an amicable solution. She deserves the side chick special of trying to figure out how to raise her "bastard" with her other 2 🤷🏾‍♂️

[@savetheplanet2563]

Period

[@ericalamothe2958]

I hear the laugh from Nelson on the Simpsons regarding the AP on Story 1

[@michamocha]

S1: the woman said she could care less about Op and daughter but expects Op to care about her so I don't understand how the comments took 'you're taking your hatred for your husband out on the other woman and child!!!' from that. The daughter is 17. If she doesn't want to do it then that's her right. Plus, why should the daughter care when the AP doesn't give a dang about her?

[@colleens1107]

Story two: awww, I do love stories where someone does something stupid because they wanted to do something nice for their SO. His heart was in the right place and I’m glad they talked things out. Good communication once more for the win

[@johnbradbury8610]

If his heart was in the right place he would have told her the truth, instead his lie made things worse. It's not something to divorce over but OP is a fool to think everything is forgotten.

[@raindropgaming2683]

​@johnbradbury8610 exactly, there's so many ways you could've gone about it but he lied and made her believe that it was THE sentimental ring. That's stupid, and very hurtful whether he meant it or not

[@mogulmade]

@@johnbradbury8610 She shouldn't have lost the ring

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

Well, it is now Christmas Eve! Merry Christmas to all. Mak7ng a tray of cookies for my neighbor and her family, I also send over a carrot cake and banana bread. For my youngest son and I, I am making my Kentucky Bourbon egg nog for tonight, so after work we can get a little tipsy, lol. I hope you all have a blessed Christmas. Lots of love ❤❤❤❤

[@bastbat]

That sounds like a feast and a good time! I hope you have a lovely Christmas !

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Have a lovely holiday tomorrow 💜💜🤗🤗

[@Eirilyn]

Story 1 op owes ap nothing. AP also does not sound like the kind of person to spend those benefits on the care of the child

[@Ohkay5613]

S1: Op owes nothing to the AP or the affair baby. Side chick knowingly signed up for struggle when she consented to being a mistress. AP played a stupid game...

[@Tammohawk1]

1. I don't feel bad for that woman. It's sad her kids might have to go without, but that's what you sign up for when you play the cheating game. There are no rewards. 2. Yeah, OP goofed up. Blue John is a gorgeous stone. I had to look it up.

[@MetamorphosisRox]

Story 1: interesting that nobody mentioned the string of bad decisions on the mistress’ part?Why is she only working part-time? Is one of the children unhealthy and she needs to stay home to care for him? Other than that, I don’t see any reason why she can’t work full time and take care of all her children. Maybe she should have thought about it all before getting pregnant three times. It is not their responsibility (mom or daughter), especially when the person responsible is not doing the responsible thing.

[@nightstarstar1]

Too bad for this AP. Probably shouldn’t sleep with married men and definitely shouldn’t have babies with married men. The wife and daughter owe his side chick nothing.

[@rebekah.2187]

There are days when I think people are being stupid on purpose. She's already struggling with the two kids she's got, but still fools around with someone else, and he's married. She should have given this kid up for adoption and that would have been the end of it right there. The child would have been placed in a loving home and she wouldn't have a third child to worry about.

[@datmanydocris]

Story 2: OP wouldn't have been an AH if he simply had the ring remade and was honest and gave it to his wife. However, that's not what he did. He hid it and made his wife think that it eas the original and that absolutely does make him the AH.

[@themurderbotfeed7688]

That last OP is emotionally stunted for sure, he is smart enough to know the wife wouldnt like it if he replicated the ring but does it anyway so she “can stop being sad” and then gets in trouble and buys a necklace so she “gets over it and doesnt get mad at him”. This man really thinks all he needs to do is keep buying jewelry to solve all his problems, instead of listening. I wonder if he realises he did all this for himself and not his wife, because he was bothered by her attitude not because he actually wanted to help. If he had he would have been more supportive of her grief rather than give her a shut up ring

[@SofieAndMe]

Story 2: dude might want to explore why he thinks he can purchase feelings at a jewelry store.

[@J-tron-ke2fn]

Well, he knows his wife better than you and m. Maybe she likes being appreciated by buying her gifts. Who knows.

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@J-tron-ke2fn Obviously she didn't. Try reading the post.

[@J-tron-ke2fn]

@@johnbradbury8610 Obviously you don't know it. Try reading the post where nothing was said about this. Just only about a especial ring.

[@LaviniaKing-hz9ue]

--- You play, you pay. If this woman needed money she should have asked to go full time, instead of quitting. She could have cleaned houses, do ironing or be a Wal-Mart greeter.

[@Himitssu]

Story 1 - Reddit is crazy, they are always talkintg about how people need to be responsible for their own choices, but are calling OP the AH for not wanting to help and not pressuring her daughter into helping.Cheating with a married man and having another kid when she was already struggling with 2 was the MISTRESS CHOICE, she doesn't get to recieve any help from the people SHE DECIDED to hurt just because of the kids SHE DECIDED TO HAVE.Yes, is sad for her kids, but the kids are suffering for their MOTHER'S CHOICE, is not OP or her daughter's responsability to help them.

[@longxiwind317]

SO WHAT if OP was trying to get back at her ex husband? Whatever problems the mistress is having now are LITERALLY of her own making. She claims she had a lot on her plate, yet had no problem taking on the stress of an affair and getting pregnant from said affair? Even if Op was being vindictive, she has no obligation to that child. Mistress had three years to take the necessary steps to ensure her child was acknowledged before the cheating ass died.

[@CreditR01]

1 - Um, why would anyone be in the corner of OP's trash husband and a woman who willingly and readily helped him cheat knowing he was already married? Screw the both of them and their affair brat. OP's husband was a leaky trash bag and so was AP. OP and her daughter should wash their hands of the whole mess. To hell with them.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

1. NTA. Wife(OP) is not responsible for mistress of her (ex)dead husband and their random child. Block and delete, ignore, I would do this.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

Plus they divorce before he die, so...everything Op an her daughter have is theirs and mistress and her child and any other ex lover of her ex husband has nothing to do with OP and her child. It is insulting that that woman even wanted to get in touch. That woman should have gotten that dna test when he was alive, not disturb his ex and his daughter.

[@ResfeberBear]

Story 1: ‘that she only works part time at her job and can’t survive on that wage alone’ oh why don’t you work full time then! Problem solved 😀

[@MsTemptation]

S1:NTA. Apparently op struck a nerve because the commentators were pissed off about her not helping her ex husband’s mistress. So a lot of side chicks were upset because they’re probably in the same predicament. Op you don’t have to explain yourself to the people who disagreed with how things were handled. Your daughter made a decision and you honoring her decision is what’s important. Her mental health matters more than the opinions of the side chicks who expected you to bully your child to help a woman who knew what she was doing and didn’t care who she hurt while trying to obtain a new dad for her kids by any means necessary. So the side chick and her supporters can go pound sand until it turns into glass.

[@clover1593ify]

She's such a disgusting mistress. She is a bad mother and bad person. She didn't use protection? She wanted to force the husband to leave the wife but he wouldn't so she tried to baby trap him. Bs. He wouldn't leave his wife he didn't love the mistress

[@LunaMane]

Wait a minute, my head hurts and I just woke up. With the first story...people are mad at OP, not the CHEATING late ex-husband or his GODDAMN MISTRESS? Is that right? If so, wow. First and foremost OP doesn't owe that woman an extra hour from Daylight Savings Time. Secondly the mistress has shown herself to be an unscrupulous character with no sense of remorse or even dignity, for her to approach the EX-WIFE of the then MARRIED MAN she was a mistress to. People are basically saying OP should've helped her out "because sisterhood" and they were "both victims"? Well I'm sorry to say that's horse sh*t. There is no sense of kinship in any shape or form when you are one of the guilty parties in a wrong done onto someone. Just because you didn't have things go your way in the end doesn't make you "a victim", too. It also shows how utterly disingenuous the mistress is. If the ex-husband had married her or left her any money after he died she wouldn't have even bothered to approach OP. And if the roles were reversed we all know good and well that the mistress wouldn't help "because sisterhood". People can be really ignorant sometimes.

[@rebekah.2187]

Story 2: My wife lost something of great sentimental value given to her by her grandmother, who died last year. I said I could have it recreated for her, but she didn't seem interested in that idea. Technically, she didn't say "No" to the idea. So I went ahead and spent 9k to have it recreated. Then, because I didn't think she would be receptive to the recreated ring (Dude, that really should have been your first clue that you screwed up), I decided to hide it and let her think she found her grandmother's ring, which, of course, was a great big lie, and we all know that lying to people never ever backfires, right? So, imagine how shocked I was when she got mad at me when she noticed the ring was different and I was forced to confess I had lied to her. Really didn't see that one coming. I was too focused on "solving the problem" to pay attention, and listen to my wife when she said she wasn't interested in my offer to recreate the ring. 🤦‍♀️ The question is, after hearing she wasn't interested in the recreation, why did he do it anyway? Was it really for his wife, or was it for himself because he was tired of seeing her upset over losing the ring, and he just wanted his home life to be back to "normal?"

[@susankaempfer8427]

It was for him 100%.

[@cpaul9269]

S1 - Wow. What a horrible situation. The decision is the daughter's, and hers alone. OP is NTA. The innocent kid should not suffer, but you could say that about the 17yo daughter as well - should she suffer? Just putting this decision on her shoulders sucks. So, either way, one of these kids is going to suffer more as a result of the decision made. It sucks. I, also, would have met with AP, though - just to hear her out, and ONLY b/c of a child being involved. I would talk to my daughter and her therapist about the potential of regret/guilt later in life if she does not help the child, though. That is a half-sibling, and in spite of his mother raising him, he (or she) may, someday, want to pursue a relationship. Depending on what happens to this little boy, this decision could have a huge impact on that, which is something a 17yo may not have the life experience to recognize. I could not blame her either way, though, and CERTAINLY do not blame OP at all. SO many other options were, and remain available (see very end): Husband was an AH. He could have not cheated. He could have told his ex about the kid. He could have signed the birth certificate. He could have included the child in his will. He could have a refrained from taking unnecessary risks with his life (riding MCs) given his dependents. AP is a queen of the AHs. She has 3 kids, 3 different fathers (and, yeah - given her character, I'm judging. Sue me). Her attitude was disgusting. I'm assuming she could have terminated any/all of these pregnancies. She could have had the father include the child in his will. She could have reached out sooner. She could potentially work full time now the children are a bit older. She could manage her finances more responsibly, perhaps (only suggest this b/c of how long it took her to bring this up - she was obviously ok prior). She could get her other baby daddies to help her. She could get a court order to exhume the father's body for a DNA sample for testing.

[@nataliereeves3594]

Tell affair partner that she should find another marriage and family to ruin because that's all she's good at.

[@carolemoores2480]

The Blue John mine is amazing! The little village close by is lovely, lots of shops selling Blue John jewellery 😊

[@immapotato1]

Story 2: and this is why I hate romantic movies cause they make people genuinely believe just because it has "good intentions" their partner will love that they did the thing they told them not to do.

[@woodside4life]

Right?! He lied, plain and simple.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

NO, she NEVER told him NOT to do it. You are making an ASSumption based on the OP saying she wasn't excited about the idea. SHE NEVER TOLD HIM NOT TO DO IT. That ring should hold a significantly higher value to the wife as it shows her the love the OP has for her and wanting her to feel better FOR HER FAULT OF LOSING THE ORIGINAL RING. I question the value to her of that original ring seeing she took so little care of it that she lost it fairly recently after receiving it. The wife does NOT deserve the OP as her husband. It wasn't just "good intentions", it was all HIS time, effort, and HIS $9k that went into trying to make her feel better. Any woman who can't see this as a HUGE DEAL needs to remain single and live with dozens of cats because they SUCK as a spouse and a human being.

[@raindropgaming2683]

​@thomasjoseph5876 money never equals love and neither does effort. People lose important things you uppity snob 😂, and she showed clear dislike for the idea, the OP should have not done it without 100% asking

[@Ashbrash1998]

​@thomasjoseph5876 obviously she wasn't excited since her reaction to finding out. Let alone that it would have been a nice gesture if he hadn't GASLIT or LIED to his wife about something important and meaningful to her.

[@nilianstroy]

Story 1... anyone attacking op is definitely a cheater.

[@hiro4344]

Reminded me of years ago as kids my little sister had a scorpion beany baby that she loved. It got lost somewhere in the yard and we could not find it. I bought her a new one for Christmas and a few days or weeks until then I was walking around the snow covered yard and found it at the base of a bush. Now from here I can't recall if I brought it in to her or if I kept it hidden and wrapped it with the second one as an extra surprise. I think I did the former and then wished I did the latter lol but I showed her where I found it and there was much rejoicing.

[@sonicbird]

Story 1: should've told the affair partner to try scrubbing her tongue a little harder, maybe there's enough of the ex's dna left for her to test.

[@traetrae11]

Story 1: The AP should have considered all of the negative consequences before going after a married man. She’s truly reaping her rewards and I don’t feel sorry for her. It’s wild people are berating OP for literally doing nothing wrong. Maybe the lesson here is to respect other people’s marriage.

[@devchekhov7512]

Story 2: jewelry associated with your SO's fuckups is a bitter reminder of said fuckups. Why not a nice dinner? It softens the bitterness without leaving a tangible reminder.