I'm REFUSING To Forgive A Debt That Will Cost My Sister Her Home r/Relationships

[@DaniS398]

not just a fake proposal, but a fake public proposal. He wanted to publicly humiliate her.

[@simply..kyliee2423]

A fake proposal? Just shoot me now!!! So he thinks he’s a jokester!!! Girl. Take off your blinders…..5 years and a fake proposal. Need I say more!!!!

[@juliearmfield2634]

She would be a lost cause if you would have to say something else. What an ignorant asshole. But considering how his mommy came to his defense I'm surprised he got a girlfriend to start with let alone keep her for 5 years🙄

[@joaolima7131]

Yup, he isn't ready, and probably never will, I bet he is noncommittal

[@Davtwan]

He could have done anything else. Forgetting the ring and pulling it from behind her ear, putting the ring in a chain of boxes, having several different rings. Those would have shown his joking side just fine if he wanted to propose in a silly manner. Nope. He’s just a grade-A asshole.

[@MsTemptation]

No you need not say more. That’s why she slapped and dumped his arse because she has better things to do with her life than wasting more years on an ahole.

[@cathybaldry7822]

His abusive tantrum response says a lot. He is not a relationship material. He sounds immature, controlling and abusive. She dodged a major bullet

[@jackiecarter3268]

NTA, for wanting the money back...siblings are the AH's for not helping mom with the money to renovate the house and because they can't "put your money where your mouth is," by chipping in to pay OP.

[@immapotato1]

funny how they all shut up once she forwarded the share the debt idea from reddit

[@GiordanDiodato]

so make a disabled child homeless. gotcha

[@johnbradbury8610]

agreed, The fact that they call OP an AH for not forgiving the debt all together shows bad faith if OP were to write up a new loan.

[@TheKnightofAwesomeness]

​@@GiordanDiodatoThen find a way to either pay up or find a new place to stay then...

[@funnyfunnyvalentine7991]

The real asshole is the mom for the favoritism. At least she's not on Earth anymore though so karma got her ass one way or another

[@SirBitingBen]

Once again another case of: never loan money to a family member unless you're willing to accept ruining your relationship with them. Either refuse to loan, or do it as a gift, because I'm not sure I've ever heard a story where the family member actually pays it lmao

[@WhitneyDahlin]

Yeah the siblings are being so generous with money that isn't theirs. She won't be homeless. Mothers with children are given government housing. She will be fine.

[@hilaryc3203]

It does happen, but I agree it's rare as hens teeth. I was seriously injured in a car accident a few years ago and it took about three and a half years to be able to return to work. In the time I was off work (single, living on my own), my brother loaned me $50K. It was another year before I got the settlement from the insurance company and the first thing I did (before anything else) was repay the $50K, with 5% interest. Yes, I had the money to repay and he knew I would when he helped me, but the point I am making is that not everyone would shirk their responsibilities. My brother and I remain close to this day. :)

[@Kris-wo4pj]

in the states they are given government housing if its available which it isnt without long waits. that kid is going to be taken away and probably abused for a few months first.@@WhitneyDahlin

[@ps9501]

Always with these stories it is "oh we are family, of course i will pay it back" later on "we are family, money shouldn't come between us" as they make excuses not to pay it back

[@tovelokiwifeodindottir9936]

​@@WhitneyDahlinit's not that easy. I know plenty of moms with their children waiting YEARS to get government housing, living out of their cars. Shelters are on a Daily First Come first serve basis so if they leave for ANY reason, they give up their spot and then they need to be back by a certain time, not before, not after. I love how people assume there are ALL these resources when the resources are pitiful at worst and pathetic at best.

[@caseyjude5472]

She needs to get help from the child’s father no matter how upsetting it is to her. It’s the law, she’ll get free representation. OP & the siblings shouldn’t have to pay half for kids that aren’t theirs. Unless there’s some kind of violence, she needs to peruse back child support. Then she’ll be able to keep the house, otherwise she’ll never be able to keep the house anyways.

[@floraposteschild4184]

You can't get blood from a stone. It's possible the father drifts from menial job to menial job, making the legal costs of going after him more than it's worth. I'd definitely report him to the authorities, though. Some states have a system for going after delinquent parents for social welfare payments the other parent is getting.

[@void405]

​@@floraposteschild4184the court can garnish his wages, depending on the circumstances. So, if he is well off enough to make the payments and is refusing to do so, it is possible to get the money.

[@theunknownone5663]

Not if you hit him hard enough with that stone.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@floraposteschild4184 He either is in hiding or has nothing. If he did, the state would be all over him to pay child support because there is a disabled child involved and the state is giving the sister and the kid what they call, "Lifetime Benefits". This means unless the sister's financial situation changes drastically, (like getting tens of thousands of dollars from the sale of a home which the state will probably take anyway), the benefits will never be cut off. The OP is really effing over the sister here, horribly. She will lose social services help for an extended period of time and/or the state will take nearly all of the proceeds from the sale of the home. The only good thing is the OP will probably not see a cent of that money as the state is ALWAYS the top lien holder when owed money from the division of assets of the sale of a home. If the OP was really a good person, she would rewrite the loan to the sister using the home as collateral with a lien on it. It may take a while but she will get her money back in the end whether the sister pays the loan or eventually has to sell the home. But she won't even consider it. The only option she gave the sister was the one she KNEW the other siblings either wouldn't or can't cover.

[@kichikitsu]

OP was the one that made the choice to loan the money to their mother, knowing she was making preperations for after her death... Preperations necessary for her disabled grandson to live in the house. If OP couldn't afford to lose whatever money was left to be repaid after their mom's death, THEY SHOULD HAVE SAID NO. Sister has good intentions and if it weren't for the fact the system is broken, she would be able to repay that loan in a heartbeat -- OP confirms that much. Yet because they don't feel like spending a couple extra years to buy a house, they feel entitled to take their sister's home as repayment. Love wanting a house right now so badly you're willing to make your own sister homeless to do so! OP is disgusting. Stop defending them.

[@LS-bb9qh]

I dont think shes an AH. Sister going to loose the house anyway. Better set her up in a sustainable way.

[@kp2223]

Right! I feel like everyone is forgetting that the city can take the house when she doesn't pay the property tax. and then no one will get anything. And the city will have the house over some 5 to $10000 loss .

[@Iflie]

Yeah I think mom thought it wsa a great idea to leave her the house but without the money to keep it all she's getting is debt. In her situation having a house will cause huge issues getting any government help for her children, so it will have to be sold either way. With the adjustments for the disabled she may get more than it would otherwise be worth. She will have to end up renting a small place and make ends meet if she can't work because she has to take care of the child. She's licky to have siblings who can then jump in from time to time. Op deserves the money back to buy their own house.

[@kt3255]

Story 1: sister was already trying to get a loan using house as collateral when it has been established she can’t pay back loans anyway. If the bank had approved her, the house was already good as gone.

[@therealmaizing5328]

Right. I doubt the sister would even be able to pay the inheritance tax on the house.

[@TheKnightofAwesomeness]

​@@therealmaizing5328Never heard of an inheritance tax before

[@charleshuguley9323]

OP is not at fault. It is not her responsibility to be the only sibling to help your sister at such a loss.

[@teacheschem]

Agreed!

[@kristy1653]

I can’t believe she was voted the AH. She’s a widow herself and still doesn’t own a home of her own.

[@DemoMan465]

Yes, true, she doesn't have to. However, that doesn't not make her the asshole. In the families time of hardship after a loved one passed, what is her first thought? Not what her family needs, no its all about Me Me Me. Not her family. I still agree that no she doesn't have to take the lose If she doesn't want to, it is a lot of money. however, she freely admits it would not put her in a bad place. This is the only reason I say this. So what she did is fine if she also is fine with potentially losing the remainder of her family and is okay with them potentially never talking to her again.

[@goddessrick8734]

​@@kristy1653 Family is family bc when things get hard your supposed to be there for each other. She has the right to do this but she will lose her remaining family.

[@gannicusfinch7068]

Story 2: Never, EVER, marry the "it's just a prank, bro!" guy.

[@TheKnightofAwesomeness]

Wait a minute.. saying it's a prank doesn't forgive my stupidity? 😱

[@KatonNeko]

Agreed. It just shows they are immature they are.

[@ScooterBond1970]

"It's A Prank" Bro should quickly become "Don't Taze Me" Bro.

[@juliearmfield2634]

Story 1. Nta. I just love how generous all these Reddit, commenters are when it comes to other people's money.

[@kecward78]

Story 2: Put all of the exes family on blast for their reaction to the fake proposal. Prolly they'll realize the ex gave a fake story and now they're all being shamed. Or, if they think that a fake proposal is cool, then they'll really be shamed.

[@sleepyearth]

Or the ex and his family are the same breed, selfish and entitled brats.

[@tallyp.7643]

@@sleepyearth Either way, if it gets out on social media that they're cool with it, they'll look like scum to everyone else. May make them re-evaluate if they get flamed and shamed.

[@KateBrod]

I'd ask each of these family members chastising me "Okay then, since I have no sense of humor, can you care to explain what was supposed to be funny in the fake proposal he pulled on me?"

[@ElCid48]

@@KateBrodand I would tell them that I put the story out to the public with no names but read the comment from the truly sane people in this world and tell me how you feel now

[@stellamccoy5259]

$37,000 is a lot of money. How many of you can afford to lose that amount? Not me. It's easy to say to forgive the loan when you are not the one impacted. But I would try my hardest to ensure my sister does not end up homeless.

[@tully6648]

I don't even have $20k altogether. If I have a good month, scrimp, and there are no surprises (nothing that needs fixing or replacing), then me and my partner can save $1k in about 2-3 months. If my math is right, then it'd take us 6-9 years(-ish) to get $37k together? (I feel confident I mathed right, but I'm tired and won't double check myself.) And all of this is without considering who is going to help OP's sister going forward. Given that the siblings won't contribute anything toward the debt, it feels like they'll be expecting OP to foot those future bills as well. It's awful what OP's sister is going through, or will go through, but OP has their own life to live, too, and they don't deserve to have her debts hanging on his neck.

[@dionysus_adores]

Op is NTA in this one just from sheer amount. It sucks for the sister and op will never see the money

[@sfsin3380]

@@dionysus_adores OP is the AH for how they went about this they told sister she'd get nothing (which wasn't true) all because OP couldn't wait to talk to the lawyer. OP went "hi sis I'm stealing all your inheritance over a debt with much much less, you get nothing but what I'll a give you a faction of it trust me like I've made clear I don't trust you" impatience made OP and AH here not wanting they're money back.

[@Jrskeetpro]

@@sfsin3380none of that happened…

[@jenniferkay9789]

The problem is, the money would go to the first one to file a claim against the estate. If she waits, she won't be paid back. OP is not an ah, for wanting her money back. There are probably other creditors that Mom didn't tell about, or possibly even know about, depending on her state of mind, at the time of her death. Sister can't own property, with equity and receive benefits from the state. The state will take that property, to repay the benefits. She should have gone after the father of her son for child support. She still can, but apparently is refusing to do so. That's her right, but it also puts her squarely on the hook, for the debt. She didn't inherit the house; she inherited her mother's debts. The state is more than happy to take any inheritance they can get their hands on, if the deceased owed money, at the time of their demise. Nobody is at fault, except the mother. It was her decision to accept the money as a loan, and in doing so, she signed a legally binding contract, agreeing to pay the debt. Nobody is an AH. It's unfortunate, but that's pretty much what happens to most inheritance, anymore.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Prankster is like being "brutally honest". You're 15/10 the AH. After 5 years, he is not at all ready for marriage? That's a huge red flag to me. She did everything right. A slap and a break up. Update: he should absolutely not be cussing you. He's out of the pocket. And he got the family involved?? Gross 🤮

[@immapotato1]

listening to the mom we can tell what a gem of a family it is. she dodged a bullet.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

She needs to get restraining orders against her ex and his crazy family as soon as the house is sold. They're all unhinged and OP deserves better. Maybe the ex should just marry his mommy.

[@MrJpaynebb]

Just send the family members a link to this post if they contact her again. Thing is they would still be together if that idiot didn't shot himself in the foot with this terrible prank. That's really cruel to do a fake proposal especially as elaborate as he had planned.

[@JK-sh8rc]

I've often observed that people who pull these "harmless pranks" are actually mean spirited and cruel and use the prank thing to cover up that aspect of their personality. So glad OP broke up with that jack***.

[@ohnooffwego]

Slapping people is not acceptable. Break up with the guy. Ghost him. Don't be violent.

[@trinaschnell4422]

With that first story, it's obvious that the mom wanted to help the sister with a place to stay. But it's not really the best idea, when she doesn't have the resources to to take care of the upkeep, taxes and everything that comes with owning a house. It's not realistic, and just putting off the inevitable. So, in the long run, mom didn't do anyone any favors. Sell the house, give OP her money and put the rest in trust for the sister and her child, have someone manage the money for her.

[@samuelsparling878]

That entire story was a showcase of ignorance. Like stated in the update, they weren't understanding how the estate would be settled and insanely assumed that the house being liquidated would mean those funds get split between people that weren't supposed to inherit it in the first place...add onto that the shitshow w the sister, I highly doubt the government would even allow her to keep the house -- generally speaking, if you've got a severely disabled child you're either wealthy enough to manage it or the government will help but only after you're bankrupt and in abject poverty, and with the father being out of the picture they're probably chomping at the bit to collect anything they can. Estates are messy, often parents promise things they simply do not have to give, as we see here, setting up controversy when expectations do not meet reality.

[@mindyschocolate]

I agree. That’s the best plan. I feel like sister will lose the house and then everyone loses.

[@peterhobson3262]

Who was supposed to pay taxes, utilities, and the other expenses involved in owning a house? I suspect sister would have had to sell it sooner or later because she couldn't afford to live there.

[@Kayenne54]

Similar situation happened after my mother's demise. Except my extreme hoarder brother had been living in that house for years and seriously devalued it. My mother had wanted him to have it, but A. he couldn't look after a dog, let alone a house B. local council was already getting antsy because of neighbours' complaints about piled up rubbish and garden going wild and C. brother would probably make up some insane paranoid excuse about not being part of the "system" therefore doesn't have to pay council rates (it's just his style). Legally, however, the house had to sell to give equal proceeds to all us kids. So it was sold, at a great loss, debts paid out first, and ever since then he's blamed me for "making him homeless" lol. Nothing to do with me, it was how inheritances are sorted here. I didn't get the house and kick him out, and spent a fruitless 12 months even before mother got ill, trying to get him into public (social) housing list and he would refuse every offer because it didn't meet his crazy, entitled standards. I've gone no contact. Best idea ever.

[@ShinePaw101]

So many of the other comments not getting this! I feel bad for the sister but there’s no way she would have been able to keep the house. I’d be much better for her to move into an apartment.

[@alexalexiou7410]

I love how he's trying to get back together with her and he sent his flying monkeys to harass her and cuss her out. That will definitely make her want to stay with him /s What a loser. Hope she gets out fast.

[@gossamergirl8891]

2nd story: his mom called her a slur so there is absolutely no way in going back cuz now she knows how they really think.

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

@gossamergirl8891 she called her a sl*t not a slur. He misread it but your point remains the same

[@totallyjaded1658]

The YTA judgment really pissed me off. She said do many times that sister cant afford to pay her back. Why should she lose it?

[@melodysmusicaladventures596]

Glad I’m not the only one who thought the redditers who voted YTA in the first story were full of it. OP has a right to get their money back, and not be set back financially because of someone else’s life.

[@juliearmfield2634]

I just love how her brother and sister was getting on her for being greedy and making Sarah homeless but they wouldn't reach in their pocket to help Sarah. They thought Op should take the $37,000 hit all on her own

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I can't help but wonder if the YTA comments even know what a financial agreement is. Not to be rude or anything, just puzzled.

[@juliearmfield2634]

@@melodysmusicaladventures596 oh you can bet they would be singing a different tune If someone ask them to take a loss of 37,000 dollars.

[@andrewalexander9492]

@@juliearmfield2634 Of course. They're already singing a completely different tune to each (including OP, but not Sara) taking a $9,250 loss. They don't want to lose a quarter that themselves, but they're fine with OP losing the whole $37,000.

[@lilfairykiki122]

Story 1: so sister never had any money and needed her family to give her money and then went on to have a child with a deadbeat? She’s the AH, don’t have kids if you can’t even afford to take care of yourself.

[@ShmuckLord385]

Right? Ops like, "guys, my sister isn't a bum, she's just never once ever made a good decision financial or otherwise in her entire life, couldn't hold a job, had a child with a deadbeat, refuses to seek child support, now can't work, and shoulders the whole family with her financial burdens by using herself and her kid as emotional and moral leverage, but she isn't a bum!"

[@Mia-dt3gl]

Sorry, but I couldn’t help but laugh when Sarah called OP a “greedy asshole” when SHE owes OP over $37,000.

[@juliearmfield2634]

She acts like its $370. It's $37,000 that is a alot of money.

[@MrJpaynebb]

Sarah doesn't owe $37,000. The estate does which is why it's such a mess. OP admits she would never loan Sarah this amount personally because she knows Sarah can not pay her back. Not because she doesn't want to but just due to her own financial situation she cannot. I understand Sarah is upset and why but even the reduced amount is still about $27k. For most of us out here we cannot afford to write off $27k. It's just too big of an ask.

[@sfsin3380]

Sarah doesn't owe OP the money. OP was telling Sarah that he was going to use a loophole steal her inheritance and leave her with nothing but then swearing that he'd give her her share anyway. This was both a lie because Op was too much of a self-absorbed AH to check if he was right before telling his sister that he was kicking her out with nothing. OP was being a greedy AH all he had to do was wait to talk to the lawyer to check if that's actually how it works, but no he felt the need to rub it in.

[@Cjaj2]

I think that comment comes from them being like, we'll see what our options are to pay you back and then discuss later and op responded with, I'm filing in a few days.

[@andrewalexander9492]

@@Cjaj2 Except that's not at all what's happening. This has been an ongoing issue for 2 months, the idea of each of the 4 siblings who aren';t destitute (Including OP) sharing the loss equally and everyone (except Sara) take a 9,250 loss so that Sara can get the house was brought up long ago. Her other 3 siblings have all said that the debt isn't their problem and they're not helping out. ther have been many discussions about this and there has been no progress to any kind of resolution. OP has to file the debt against the estate before probate closes or she misses her chance to recover any of the debt. the clock is ticking. When the siblings haven't budges for two months on arriving at a solution, there's no reason to believe that waiting a couple more months will change that.

[@debl3063]

Mom borrowed money from OP. Why did mom split the money between all of the kids when she still owed OP money? She should have willed the amount back to OP and then split what was left. Maybe I read that wrong?

[@GMAMEC]

Last Story- If my son did something this stupid, I would be livid. Furthermore, why is the family getting involved and calling her? OP dodged a bullet. That family is crazy.

[@madambutterfly1997]

She can’t afford to pay off that loan. So take any promise of her paying off that loan to be shallow and empty. Unless you get her saying this in writing.

[@cathybaldry7822]

Already has legal contract with the mother hense first dibs on anything in the will

[@gcarr1089]

Last story - OP should give the post details to all the ex's, family members to read and then block them again. Once they see the post and the opinions of the viewers, they will definitely try to apologise to OP, those who don't are just as big ah's, as OPs ex.

[@crossedwires2629]

proposal: REJOICE, blessed day, that this happened NOW and she KNOWS the truth of the character of her ex (and his family) SO clearly that it is EASY to walk away. What a painful way to find out, but ... rejoice.

[@SCP01986]

Bingo. BF and his entire family are all scum.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: This is not a prank. This is getting Punk'd. I remember proposing to my wife. You are holding her heart in your hands. Andrew punted that hear across the restaurant. You pull that, expect to be single quickly.

[@aawyfroggy723]

Story 2 update has made me regret quitting cigarettes. I feel like I need at least 10 cocktails to even broach how annoyed with the bf and his mum I am

[@Passions5555]

The second the boyfriend's mother called me a slur would be the moment I 'd be taken into custody for assault and battery.

[@LFROSTVEVO]

​@@Passions5555the mom called her a slut, not a slur.. so just a baby step up from the worst thing to call some one. an actual slur being the worst imo.

[@TheSiriusEnigma]

9:46 Point 5: YES, THEY ARE! The 37 000$ is owed by her mother. Not her sister. The dept is part of the estate and must be resolved by the inheritance. In fact, she could insist that this dept be paid BEFORE the estate (money) is split between siblings. She has to bring this up to the estate before the split the money. And the dept will be split between all inheritors, not just the sister.

[@void405]

That's the part that gets me. Their mother was the person that the debt belongs to so it's the estate's problem, as a whole, not her sister's.

[@MaddyBlackbart]

@@void405 result would still be the same. house would be sold to make up the debt so no house for sister.

[@Voodoomaria]

OP came up with a reasonable solution, as outlined by one of the people commenting - Divide the debt by having each of the other siblings repay her an equal portion of the debt, and having her forgive her share. That was a reasonable and equitable payment solution that was promptly denied by the siblings who want OP to be the ONLY one out of pocket. Rule #1: NEVER do business with family. Rule #2: IF you break this rule get everything IN WRITING and enforce it as you would ANY other business deal, and TOTALLY disregard any "But Family" argument. Keep business and family relationships as TOTALLY separate. OP has done this. She has a legal right as a creditor to file a claim against the estate, and the family has NO RIGHT to expect her to forgive the loan. It's hard, it's cold, but it's the ONLY way to proceed as the family has refused the ONLY fair solution to the debt. To put this into real world perspective, the family is asking OP to give up what would amount to 6+ months of pay for MANY of us. That is NOT small change to just throw away.

[@techterror1282]

The fact that she's seeking a lump sum after receiving payments for so long makes her the a******

[@tallyp.7643]

Hell, I've never made $37K a year in my life... that's why I'm scrambling to learn skills and interview for every job I can get ahold of to get in the green and stay there. Hell, $37K is barely a good sized "emergency fund" the way employment trends are going, and car prices, etc.

[@Voodoomaria]

@@tallyp.7643 I'm at the lower end of pay scales for my region, and make just over 30k a year (think relative values of Canadian and American dollars, and cost of living regionally). Anyone with professional credentials can pull well over double what I make. Point remains, 37K is ABSOLUTELY NOT sofa cushion change. That is significant coin at ANY pay scale.

[@cathybaldry7822]

The siblings do not have a say or a choice. The estate must pay debts before anyone gets access to anything

[@amethystanne4586]

Story 1…. OP should file a lien against the house. The house got the benefits of the loan (improvements with the plumbing, septic system, and handicap accessibility). It’s not like the sister got the 37K for a fancy party or designer clothing or handbags. When/if the sister decides to sell the house, money from the sale is paid to OP to satisfy the lien, then the sister gets the rest of it.

[@Flakey101]

How does she sign a lien against the house. If she does it before the will is propated it will still be classed as a debt to the estate and the house will be sold to cover it., If she waits until after she has no standing to make one because the sister does not owe OP the money.

[@wessexdruid7598]

So how does she put a deposit on her own home - with a lien?

[@techterror1282]

There are so many options, this is the evil banker move. You could have her sign a contract that she has to continue paying it for giving up your right to claim it on the will. A judge will enforce that contract if there's an issue. And the sister would not end up losing that house.

[@youtopea]

​@@techterror1282and if she ever chooses to go to court to enforce that contact it will be the same problem of "why are you doing this when you know I have children to take care of", why go through the process of drawing up a new contract that you know she wouldn't be able to make payments towards just to go through the same fight op is now?

[@techterror1282]

@@youtopea That's entirely not true cuz if this is down the line when this kid goes into a group home, the house doesn't matter anymore

[@dougmartin2007]

For the last story - I have come to distance pranksters from my life with prejudice. Not a single one has ever realized when they went too far and tried to respect a boundary. It is always a situation where they want to abuse people and say every one else needs to get over it because it was a prank. Talking with them is usually gaslighting bingo.

[@Bronte-on6tm]

All pranksters are merely cases of arrested development.

[@peterhobson3262]

@@Bronte-on6tm My experience is that all pranksters are bullies. The most common defense that bullies use is "it was just a joke, can't you take a joke." To which the response should be "if it's a joke then why am I not laughing?"

[@ar23431]

​@@peterhobson3262The best way to deal with a joker is to be like the joker 10 times worse Do not stop until they are crying on the ground sucking their thumb and asking for mercy, only after that and only then can you leave them behind

[@jake8748]

​@@Bronte-on6tmhey not everyone who does pranks is like that. Just this kind of of crap isn't a prank. A prank is serving someone fake meat or swapping their alcoholic drink with a non alcoholic one. Or moving everything around while someone goes to the store etc. Harmless things that just make the person confused or surprised for a second but no actual harm. My favourite rank was on my in laws for a few years. Every time we'd call to talk id put on a terribly bad asian/chinese accented broken English and pretend I was from a Chinese food store asking if they ordered something like sweet and sour pork. It was partly the result of an inside joke and history and nothing malicious about it. Sadly caller ID made it become a past thing. My brother regularly goes around at family gatherings and whispers to some people that my wife is pregnant, or gets his daughter to come up and say she'd like a cousin etc. We don't joke about serious things though and apologise if it does upset someone etc. Honestly it's just on how mature the people are. This guy clearly wasn't mature.

[@dougmartin2007]

@@jake8748 yeah, I'll skip sorting through the pranksters looking for a "few good apples", thanks anyway.

[@meiwa2020]

Honestly, if his whole family kept trying to contact me I'd send a big family email detailing it all and tell them if they didn't stop I would take it to social media

[@Nempo13]

Nah post it on social media then just send them the link. Pranksters only grow up when they become so completely humiliated the only way out is to own up and change.

[@Mirtis66]

Lol story 1 them thinking that if they sold the house it would turn into the other siblings inheritance and not Sara's. But i take it the other 2 siblings that didnt want to do any compromises will never talk to OP again since they end up with nothing.

[@cathybaldry7822]

If the house has to be sold, then what is left over will go straight to the sister. The other probably does not realise this reality. It is up to a judge. Probably, it is likely the cash assets will go straight to OP and whomever else is owed, and then as a last resort, will the house be sold or could have a lien put on it for what is left owing

[@SkyEcho751]

"Will you marry me" then "HAHA You thought I'd Marry You Now?" Ya no that crosses one of the Forbidden lines of Pranks. You don't prank people _about or involving_ Birth, Death, Proposals, or Weddings, among other forbidden topics. And he immediately switches to trying to guilt trip her about it, then sends flying monkeys at her as well. OP was lucky to escape now.

[@onurkneezb]

Story 1: Forgiving the debt legally (at least in the US) counts as income, and could also screw up the benefits as well.

[@jakeand9020]

It never ceases to amaze me how willing people are to spend other people's money, then turn around and claim the moral high ground while refusing to lose any of their own money.

[@MisterNightfish]

Never loan money to family. It never ends well. Especially do not lend money to family who haven't paid you back in the past. And why do people always call others "greedy" when they just want their money back? OP didn't even ask for any interest. And of course nobody else from the family wanted to contribute anything. How shocking.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Like her or not, there is something Judge Judy has said on her show that I firmly believe: “Never loan anyone more money than you can afford to simply give away. If not, when you want/need your money back, someone will always find a way to make you the bad guy.” I feel badly for OP’s sister, but it sounds like she’s been a financial dumpster fire for decades. No one in their right mind would trust her guarantees to pay back that much money. As to the Reddit comments? I’d love to see how many of those people would walk away from $37K with nary a backward glance. Hypocrites.

[@Chris_RLM]

So you help your mother out and she is paying you back, mom dies, and sister gets the house. So you sue to sell the house, making the sister homeless. Yeah that's pretty greedy. Anything I give my parent and ask to be paid back, would not fall on my sibling who got there house

[@ugan2]

​@@Chris_RLMOkay so ignore the fact it was a house the sister and her son were living in and part of the renovations op loaned out for was to help accommodate her son. So naturally sister benefited from it as much as the mom did so why not help pay back.

[@ps9501]

@@Chris_RLM So you just choose to ignore that sister was living in that house rent free, that OP funded the money so there would be no interests?

[@sfsin3380]

@@LostSoulchild89 OP was being greedy because they didn't understand how inheritance works Op believed that doing what OP was doing would mean Sarah would get nothing and the remainder of the money from the sale would be split between OP and the other siblings meaning getting far more more than the debt repaid. Even the claim that OP and brother would give Sarah their share of the remaining money had a caveat of she probably can't actually accept that money implying that OP was really planing to keep the money, This was wrong but that they believed it when they made the decision and therefore was being greedy.

[@PeacheIIe]

I NEED more updates for story 2. So glad she smacked him in his stupid face.

[@doodleder9651]

I can't imagine buying a house with someone who's not married to me. I know that's not for everybody, but if getting married is part of your plan it doesn't seem like a good idea to skip to buying a home together before doing that. Idk

[@void405]

My sister put her boyfriend of 4 years on the title of her house (an extended trailer). They were getting married in 2 months when my sister found her boyfriend cheating on her with a minor. My sister was bringing him a home cooked lunch to the skate park so he should eat and still hang out with "the boys." She pulled up and didn't see him. Life360 pointed to a random car on the side of the park where she found (and got a pic as proof) of him making out with the girl. Thankfully, he agreed to take his name off the house if my sister didn't show the pick to the cops. Otherwise, he could have scammed her, legally, out of about 8,000 dollars.

[@eeriecraft1797]

@@void405 I mean, I would've waited until he took his name off the title AND then showed the cops. Pedos deserve jail. Granted, I'm not so sure what a dude in jail could do with his name on the house.

[@Solarstormflare]

Story 2 i wouldnt be surprised if the family was told the whole truth he had to learn that behaviour from somewhere

[@ThatsViews]

Story 2: That was his AH way of breaking up with her.

[@bwtawny]

If other family is unwilling to forego any inheritance why do they expect you to? Answer: because they think you are good for it. Love it when others decide what to do with your money. Sister may not be able to get house in her name and keep venefits. It is an asset. Putting it or any cash she might get in a trust is probably her best option. In spite of what you hear people don't get benefits when they have assets, including property. Get your money. You see what your family thinks about you and your needs. This is the only chance you have of getting your money back. And never loan money to family. You did and even got a binding contract and it is still biting you in the butt.

[@annhans3535]

The way it's supposed to work is that any debt owed by the estate is paid first then, the estate pays the inheritors.

[@samuelsparling878]

Jokes on them, only OP, sister and lawyers are walking away w any $ when it settles.

[@therealmaizing5328]

People who are receiving benefits *are* allowed to own a home. The issue here, is that the house would be considered "income" at the time she inherits it. That "income" would affect her benefits for at least a month. Plus, the sister could *not* afford to pay the inheritance and property taxes.

[@annhans3535]

@@therealmaizing5328 exactly. Real estate taxes, water bill, etc. When you own a house they are always things breaking that you need to fix. If she has no income and just gets aid from the gov't where is she going to get money? Best case would be to put house up for sale, put proceeds in a trust and let it grow, in the meantime, get gov't sponsor or low income house for her and son. She also needs to look into putting him into a daycare program so she can work.

[@patheon9541]

story 2: my fuckin jaw droped as soon as i heard the words "it's just a prank" no that's not a prank dude you gone done fucked it up hard

[@tallyp.7643]

Whenever I hear about these "it's just a prank" situations that are just so off-the-wall painful, I desperately want to know what was going through the idiot's head when they decided to "pull the prank." I want to know what reaction they were expecting and WHY they would expect it, especially if they've known that person for many many years.

[@charleshuguley9323]

The house must be sold anyway; Sarah will not be able to afford the property taxes, utilities and maintenance. This is not OP's fault.

[@jennydrake491]

Story 1: The OP was NTA. She was beyond generous. Since none of the other family members want to help, the sister needs to recognize that with her mom gone, she needs to give up the house. That won't make her "homeless." She can rent. There are also so many housing programs she could qualify for: low-income, disabled, elderly, etc. Where I live, having the house money wouldn't hurt her chances of getting a low-income housing spot. My elderly mom, who has only a tiny pension and Social Security, was accepted even though she did have savings as well. She got accepted for a soon-to-be-vacant apartment a week after applying. OP is not her sister's only recourse.

[@comedyloverism]

The big problem with renting is that landlords can jack it up for any reason.

[@fluidwolf]

Especially considering that from the story it sounds like OP was all in on helping her out too, but she needed to collect on that debt first.

[@dawnstone4424]

I wonder why Marks channel is so underrated. He is amazing. Consistent, caring, amusing and seems to genuinely care for his subs. Just saying. He’s pretty damn awesome.

[@KonekoPurrrfection]

And his takes are weighed and balanced unlike most other reddit channels I listen to

[@recycledapathy7411]

That second story... I don't get what family members think they're going to achieve by calling/texting the person who just dumped your kid/brother/whatever with nasty messages. Like, are they gonna go, "Oh, well NOW you've given me incentive to want to stay with your wasted space of a relative! I was gonna dump him until you called me a stupid cow who should delete myself."

[@shells500tutubo]

Op ought to tell that mother, "well from one slut to another, much more experienced slut, your son is the biggest slut of all".

[@Maestrosendgame]

Before the update: there’s no point in the sister getting the house since she struggles with money management as is way before, plus she won’t have it for long anyways

[@ScreamingDucksShotMyMother]

That’s wild to say because when I got a house via inheritance, I was able to save a lot of money given I was no longer paying rent, and it ended up being exactly what I needed to stabilize myself.

[@GMAMEC]

Right, owning a home can be very expensive. The maintenance, repairs, utilities, and emergency expenses ( including insurance deductibles) add up quickly.

[@Maestrosendgame]

@@ScreamingDucksShotMyMother that might be true for you however if you have issues with money management and an outstanding debt to pay back then there’s no point in getting the house

[@dylanpalmer5151]

@@Maestrosendgame Don't forget, it was said that the sister was already living with the mother before/when the debt was taken out, so the argument that she could've afforded it based on the money saved from rent doesn't work, because she was ALREADY saving that money and nearly going underwater. Now, on top of that is the property taxes, the outstanding debt to OP, and no assistance with food, water, and other utilities expenses, which the mom was likely already paying. Overall, giving that house to OP's sister was the worst way to keep her head above water largely due to the further expenses she would have to deal with.

[@YankeeGirl226]

​@@ScreamingDucksShotMyMother Do you have a disabled child? Did the property have a lot of debt? Did you have bad money management skills? This has nothing to do with your situation. Everyone's is not going to be the same.

[@dune3001]

For the first story - why is no one talking about getting them an apartment with the money from the house sale?! They are much cheaper, the tax is a fraction of what it is on a house, and both her and her kid (kids?) would have a home.

[@Sunnyside55]

Last Story, that guy is lucky that's all she did was break up with him. He deserves way more along with his Mommy..

[@kcsimon7876]

Why did the mother not have a life insurance policy. It would have covered the debt and left enough money for Sarah and her son to habe money placed in a trust for them. While also leaving a bit of cash for the other siblings.

[@truthbringer-6748]

Wouldn't have mattered, it would still have to be split between 4 people. Not to mention that she's still bad with money and would eventually end up in the same predicament.

[@MrsWheezer]

It would have been wise for life insurance to have been set up to cover the mother’s outstanding debts. My husband and I have that all set for our kids’ benefit.

[@andrewalexander9492]

@@truthbringer-6748 No, that's not the way life insurance works. Life insurance is not part of the estate. Life insurance is insurance. It would have been 100% possible for the mother to have taken out a $55,000 (The original amount of the loan) life insurance policy and named OP as the beneficiary of the life insurance. When she died, OP would have received the $55,000, not the estate. (possible in theory anyway, depending on how old Mom was and what her health was like, she might have had difficulty getting life insurance.)

[@truthbringer-6748]

@@andrewalexander9492 got it thanks.

[@groofromtheup5719]

@@andrewalexander9492 i imagine life insurance could be paid to trust to ensure home debts and maintenance are paid out of it.

[@camillepepin8512]

OP made a plan with the intention of getting paid back. She trusted the person she planned the loan with. That person is now gone and someone else, OP doesn't trust to pay her back is now the debtor. OP has the choice to make a move to get their money back. The amount of money is non negligible. It's that simple. It's sad for the sister, it really is. None of this was planned wasn't her initially and she just landed in this situation. But it doesn't mean OP should juste forget about their money. I do feel like the arragement is very shitty and rigged agaisn't the sister though. The house is hers. All money made from selling the house (aside from the loan) should go back to her and her alone, not be split with all the siblings. One sibling keeping the funds and giving it to her slowly so it doesn't impact her financial help, is one thing. But splitting the house revenue between all siblings is just kicking a dead horse at this point

[@YellaBellaReno]

On the plus side, at least OP’s late mom had the good sense to get a legal contract for the loan. Perhaps she knew that a situation like this could arise if she moved on to the next life before she was able to pay OP back in full. I think OP should look into selling mom’s house, and buy a house with an apartment or secondary structure where the sister and her son can live. May not be possible budget wise, but it’s what I would be looking into if I were in OP’s shoes.

[@samuelsparling878]

The other siblings won't see a dime, probate courts are courts of equity and the sister will get the net from the house since it was supposed to go to her...let's say mom had 100k in debt total, 50k cash, and the house sells for 150k, so that's 200k minus 100k debts, that leaves a net of 100k to distribute, one could argue that the cash should go to debts first and leave sis w the full net, or one could argue that the house being 3/4 of the assets she should get 75k and split the 25k between the rest, and the judge can order whatever they feel like.

[@sfsin3380]

impatience made OP and AH here not wanting their money back. OP went "hi sis I'm stealing all your inheritance over a debt with much much less, you get nothing but what I'll a give you a faction of it trust me like I've made clear I don't trust you, OH and I've made sure 2 of our siblings don't give an F*** about you and will pocket the inheritance" all because OP couldn't wait to talk to the lawyer.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

There were several options the OP COULD HAVE taken to get her money back and some she didn't even mention but she didn't want to go that way. Instead, the option she took was not viable as the sister could not raise enough money to pay her 1/4 share. The OP is going to end up leaving the sister and her disabled kid (until CPS tracks them down and takes the kid probably from a call the OP will make), homeless and without social service benefits for an extended amount of time simply because the OP is an A-Hole and is probably upset the OP didn't get more money from the death of her mother as she did from the death of her husband. Oh, and the money the sister SHOULD get from the sale of the home, it probably won't happen as the state will take it for repayment of the social service benefits already granted. With any luck, the OP will lose her $37k when that happens because the state ALWAYS is in the #1 position to collect any money owned from the sale of a home.

[@fluidwolf]

@@thomasjoseph5876 As far as im aware the story has stated not even all the way through that OP plans to help their sister after everything is said and done. Where is this idea coming from that she just wants to abandon her sister, outside of someone wanting to moral grandstand in a goofy way that OP should just let a $37,000 debt go because.....reasons. Unless you are ultra rich, losing $37,000 is going to hurt.

[@Ospyro3em]

Final story- the fact that he hasn't even apologised or seen what he's done wrong says it all

[@faeriefire78]

I don't know why it surprises me when family or friends pile onto the wronged party to kick them when they're down. Like here, the boyfriend and his family start out pleading for her to reconsider, then devolve into anger and nasty insults. This happens all the time! I'll never understand it.

[@akl2k7]

Right? And of course, cussing someone out and insulting them is going to make them reconsider, right?/s

[@wayzarlord1663]

People seem to be forgetting the OP is a widow. That money came from life insurance from her dead husband. If the other siblings aren’t willing to contribute equally, including Sarah, she has no obligation to give up her future security over this. She has for years contributed to what can only be described as financially delinquent conduct by her sister. Let the brother contact an attorney but be sure to get that filed as an outstanding debt with the courts.

[@cheyenneburgos4337]

That’s what pissed me off the most honestly. Like the sister had multiple cars repossessed… how is she going to pay for a house if she can’t even afford a car, yet she’s thinking I can keep this house. Their mother didn’t think this plan through. The financially irresponsible child gets a free house?

[@akl2k7]

@@cheyenneburgos4337 Right. It's basically filling up a container with a hole in it at this point.

[@omegasobsessions]

Getting the house would also be a “large amount of money” by tax law.

[@mbyerly9680]

Maybe, OP could use the lose as a tax break, but even that is iffy.

[@TopazFire15]

I had a friend lose financial aid for college for a semester because his mother received a house in the will. An old ass house, too.

[@jasoncarter4343]

“With absolutely no help from her child’s father.” There you go. Choosing to sleep with men who are not marriage/father material. Now the burden of taking care of her and her child falls back on what’s left of her family.

[@catalinaplaza7909]

I cannot understand when family members come to defend awful behavior, in the end is just a sign that you should run!

[@maurer3d]

Story 2: NTA, there are some things you do not joke or do pranks about. And after 5 years together a proposal is one of those things, especially doing it in a huge public way like this. Story 2 (update 1): If his mom thinks this was a "simple joke", I can guarantee he lied to her about it, or she (and the rest of his family) is just as crazy as her son.

[@onmike7944]

$37K is not a small amount of money. NTA

[@zard5930]

Story 1: Gonna go with NTA. I agree with the commentator that she should wait for her brother to get things in order with a lawyer. To be fair, she reads a bit frustrated with her sister. It looks like money was a problem long before she had her disabled son. And she just got enabled by her family. That said, OP tried to come up with a compromise, she tried to get the other siblings on board to help. Why can't they help out, too? OP even forgave a fourth of the debt. In the end, it boils down to: Don't lend money to your family and expect it back if you want a good relationship with them. Sad for OP.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

A prank proposal is just so cruel and unnecessary. Imagine thinking that someone's feeling are a joke and to be played with.

[@snake5solid]

After the break up it seems the boyfriend showed his true colours with all that he's saying to OP. It's good he didn't proposed for real. OP dodged a massive bullet.

[@thyruos6499]

In the case of the house, if OP doesn't need the money as she stated, but just doesn't want to lose it, she can request to have her name put on the title of the house for 20% ownership (which works out to roughly 37k value if the house is worth 180k). That way sister can live in the house, and OP doesn't lose on the money as it's now tied to equity in the house which will also appreciate over time.

[@andrewalexander9492]

She didn't say she didn't need it. She needs it for the down payment to buy a house.

[@jenniferkay9789]

Not to mention, if her name is on the house, she would then, not only be responsible for any other debts her mom incurred, but she also wouldn't get her money back. Sis was going to take out a loan, against the house, and if she would do that, for OPs repayment, she might do something equally as stupid, putting OP on the hook for it. Did isn't keeping that house, either way.

[@andrewalexander9492]

@@jenniferkay9789 Also, even *if* there were no more debts against the estate and the sister got the house without them selling it (and setting aside that now OP can't buy her own house because that money was going to be part of her down payment) ther's a pretty good chance that Sister, being the financial shit-show that she is could get the house foreclosed by not paying taxes. so OP is going to be responsible for 100% of the taxes for a 20% ownership share in a house she doesn't get to live in.

[@cathybaldry7822]

Great compromise if sister was a financially responsible human being.

[@noneedtoknow07]

Story 1: Sara says she want's to keep the house and then immediately puts it up for collateral for a loan. She does not seem very bright even after the all the growing up she did.

[@hlcooper]

wasn't she trying to get the loan to pay back OP though?

[@wildblue0]

Story 2: So NTA. He "proposed" in a public space, so you know people were watching. He not only played with her emotions, he publicly humiliated her. You don't buy a house with a bf if you aren't planning to make a life with him. He knew that. He's just evil.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: This is why you never loan money to/do business with family! That said, are you greedy? No. Greedy is wanting everything for yourself. You’re simply wanting to be paid back, you’re not asking for extra handouts. Does it suck? Yes, but that’s life sometimes. Your mom even insisted you have paperwork for the loan because she wanted to do right by you. Now you have a decision to make: filing the claim *will* hurt your relationship with your family, justified or not, and only you can decide if it’s worth it to you.

[@TheMrKristens]

S2: Yikes!! You literally wasted 5 years with an AH, but at least you two weren't married. I couldn't imagine him pranking you if you ever got pregnant that 'the kid isn't his and he's leaving you' etc... Or heck, what happened if he tells the hypothetical child they aren't his and takes them on a quest to find their real dad...etc. Holy Moly! You dodged a ball there OP! If he was willing to fake a proposal...he would be willing to prank a divorce, fake kids, prank real kids... etc. At some point that is just vial behavior. And I seriously doubt he told his family the truth about his actions that day. But on the rare occasion the apple didn't fall far from the tree, you also saved yourself so much heartache and your future children. That boy is a walking red flag.

[@akl2k7]

Unfortunately, it sounds like they got a house together, which is about as big of a commitment.

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Last story, you can sure see where the AH boyfriend got his so-called sense of humor. Parents, siblings, even his aunt, all blaming OP because idiot BF is so cruel and stupid? Any marriage with him would be a disaster. He's immature, selfish, and mean. Good riddance.

[@poohbear4515]

S2: Oh that is totally a ‘break up’ material right there. That guy is the biggest, insensitive asshole, pranking is barely funny nowadays and that was probably the worst, and most humiliating “joke” he ever did. That slap was definitely deserved, but he should’ve had more on him. And the fact that he had to bring not only his mommy in, but the rest of his family to back him up, and THEY all thought it was a simple joke? Yeah, OP doesn’t need an immature jackass that also sounds controlling, too.

[@joelheath2746]

fake proposal? RUN FOREST, RUN!!!

[@candypettynettie487]

S1- Sarah will lose the house within a year and expect the siblings to take over.

[@kathleenmcfarlane2555]

Story 1: OP can put a lien on the house so that if the house gets sold OP gets her money and Sarah doesn't have to move out of the house until she loses it. Then OP gets paid.

[@melissaisloud7404]

Story 1: NTA. You are owed the money. Your sister’s situation doesn’t negate the fact that they’re stealing from you. Story 2: screencap all messages and post online with the messages tagged. Let the world see the trash they are.

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

1st Story: OP is NTA. It appears the whole family has been enabling their little sister to be irresponsible and a leech on the rest. So what if she has a disabled child. Shouldn't that mean she'd have more reason to get motivated and lift herself up? She gets governmental assistance. So that means she has a paycheck, so where does it all go? It appears she refuses to take responsibility for her inability to finance correctly. IMO, OP should actually take her sister under her wing and go through ALL finances and force her sister to budget and make a plan to get out of government assistance OR sign up for government housing. Then once the sister has her housing situation fixed up, OP puts a lien on the mother's house and the property sells and SHE ALONE gets paid off, the rest of the money goes directly to the little sister because that is her home. The other siblings DO NOT get a cut of that house because they never put in anything or at the very least didn't make a documented loan to the mother or sister like OP did. The money from the house sale can go into a trust for the sister's son so that his medical needs and child care can be maintained. Then the sister will be freed from having to care for her child 24/7 and actually get a job. Government assistance will drop once she reaches a threshhold income but Jeremy's trust can be used to pay rent on new housing for the sister and her son. Someone needs to stay on top of her financial status and make sure she stops spending recklessly and is able to save.

[@ihartyoutubification]

Might be an unpopluar opinon but this is why you don't get into serious relationships with pranksters, they never know boundaries or when to stop, only how to top that last joke, and when they joke happens to be on you you're in the wrong to having a normal reaction. But since you let everything else slide and or even joined in on some of them they don't get it,

[@Whooachannel]

wow. imagine being considered an asshole because you arent willing to just give up nearly 40k of YOUR money. Money that was promised back to you, because it might negatively effect someone else. The people calling OP an asshole know damn good and well they wouldnt be willing to sacrifice that much for someone else, but they expect OP to, just because she wouldnt feel the negative effects of the missing money in that moment? Fuck. that. OP is NTA and the siblings can all go pound sand. They want OP to sacrifice her money and preach about it, but none of them are willing to do the same.

[@yvonnefobbs6232]

Story #1: Couldn't she sign up for Section 8 housing? If you're in the US, having a disabled child could put her in the top of the list. Your sister has to realize all that comes with a house. Taxes, unexpected repairs, natural disaster, insurance and a whole lot more. She also have to come to terms of what will happen to her son if anything happens to her. Sit down with her and talk.

[@Cjaj2]

My cousin has a severely disabled daughter and she was looking at months to years to get section 8, it's not as simple as it seems they'll try their hardest to deny you for any reason before finally approving you.

[@msinformation91]

I have three disabled kids. I've been on the wait list for section 8 for over a decade. It's not that easy.

[@benjiro8793]

Section 8 or Social housing or whatever the name is in a lot of countries is EXTREME hard to get. People think its easy. You sign up and bingo. But in reality, you can be stuck for years waiting for a home. Even worse is, that any change in your financies can lose you your spot. A problem we also see in social homes, is that people consider them their homes. So when somebody had a bad financial situation, lets say single mom with kids and they finally get a home. They get homey ... but the income can change over time. A new partner enters their lives with his own income, pushing a family into middle class and way outside of social homing range. But they do not inform the council about this change, or deliberately do not get married, or gain better income (or mix of the above). As a result, you get a lot of social homes that are locked away permanently for people that really are outside that range. When cases come out, its always tears on TV but they ignore the other people waiting for a home. People are selfish... Yes, i know of two real world examples of people like that, that milked their low income status when in reality they earned more with black work, stable partner (still with those same guys 20 years later) that push them even above my own families income. But they need a social home, its their house! *lol*. /shakes head And yea, that is why there is never the needed money to keep building more and more social homes, when there is a lot of misuse. And as a result, loooooooooong waiting lists.

[@yvonnefobbs6232]

@@msinformation91 I understand that! I have two friends with disabled children and they can't even qualify for food stamps. My friend has to stay with her daughter while her husband works. Her husband's hours were recently cut too and she asked for help. There aren't enough adult day cares and she asked for help with a nurse for her daughter so she can go to work. They told her that with even his hours cut from 12 to 8, she didn't qualify for even that! Her daughter has severe autism and has major health problems. The worse was that when she was going to specialist's, She couldn't qualify for even Medicaid because of her husband's health insurance. And guess what? His insurance wouldn't pay for the doctor she needed. The system SUCKS!!

[@yvonnefobbs6232]

@@Cjaj2 It sucks!!

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

Story 2- Getting your family and friends to harass someone who has just broken up with you is absolutely pathetic, and the people insulting OP are pathetic. No wonder her crappy ex is so immature, he isn't exactly surrounded by prime examples of maturity. Pranks and jokes are meant to be funny, not cruel. Deliberately causing someone pain for a "prank" is bullying. Jokes that cause pain = bullying. People hide behind the whole "jokes" thing because they're too cowardly to admit that there is malicious intention in there. Either grow a backbone and be upfront about who you are, or work on being a better person, but don't hide behind excuses for crappy behaviour.

[@savageinkstudios2969]

1. Why is it OPs responsibility to essentially donate a years salary of minimum wage to a sister who wont take care of herself?

[@susanwright1931]

😂😂😂 that’s about 2.5 years of minimum wage! Here anyway. That’s a lot of money to just “let go” of.

[@fhuber7507]

2... "Pranksters" are typically abusers... Prankster 100% committed a huge emotional abuse with that fake proposal.

[@telinhajp]

Good afternoon, Mark and Poppy! Wishing you both have a relaxing Sunday! ❤️🤗

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Have a lovely week m8💜💜🤗🤗

[@roserocks1979]

The sister can get a government apartment for the disabled for her and her son. She doesn't need a house, just a place to live. And she can't afford the house anyway. Why isn't she getting child support? If she can't afford to take care of her son, then she needs to place him in a home that can.

[@clairebear-96]

Story 2 - I don’t usually advocate for physical violence buttttt he deserved that slap lmfao

[@namedhuman5870]

Love the idea of prank erasing the entire relationship. Prank bro would be rolling all over the floor laughing, unless he is a hypocrite.

[@SCP01986]

Why isn't Sarah chasing up her deadbeat partner for cash? That moocher needs to get authorities involved instead of taking her sibling's money and government assistance for the disabled sprogs.

[@littlesongbird1]

Yeah as bad as I feel for her and her son she needs to get the father involved and for him to pay what he can, even if it is a small amount.

[@franciebelcher4594]

In both stories the OP is NTA. In both stories the OP is called names and treated badly. Neither OP needs any of those nasty ppl in their lives.

[@Solarstormflare]

Yay new video i wish op in first story would not sue them

[@danishaussie63]

S2: Fake proposals are NEVER a joke!!! A good thing he did it though so she could stop waisting her time with him AND she got to see the real side of him.... and wtf is with his family having a say in this, nothing to do with them!!!

[@rangeraero]

Story 2: Dude is lucky all she did was slap and dump him. I'm pretty sure she could have stabbed him to death with a fork at that point and not get convicted.

[@goawayleavemealone2880]

He sucks, but you're so out of touch with reality it's painful.

[@rangeraero]

@@goawayleavemealone2880 "out of touch with reality"? I get not liking my use of hyperbole, but that seems a little harsh.

[@goawayleavemealone2880]

@@rangeraero - Disagree.

[@rangeraero]

@@goawayleavemealone2880 Any particular reason?

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#2 - OP needs to make a blanket statement to issue to his entire family about exactly what DID happen, because if they think what he did was in any way okay, they are as sick as he is. OP is well rid of the entire lot of them. Let that circus go on the road without her. Hope her new apartment is wonderful and she takes time to heal. What a terrible mess to be in the middle of. I feel bad for OP.

[@SunnyBurnsAll]

I am curious about these abusive calls and texts that people send to a person to convince them . I mean why would that be persuasive to anyone with half a brain?

[@Qwerty95ish]

Story 2, holy hell who the fuck does a prank proposal.

[@jacearmor5274]

Story 1: NTA. Sara seems irresponsible with money. Gotta love everyone's selfless generosity with OP's money! If the siblings are so concerned, why don't they use their own money.😒

[@kee-ta3487]

Story 2, if you get your mom envoled to help win me back and she yells at me like that guess what I'm definitely never coming back! The whole family is trash!

[@X2XImTheNewCancerX2X]

I think what bugged me the most about the OP of the first story was that they were acting as if THEIR MOTHER'S debt was Sarah's fault. Like the whole 'it's not her fault she has a disabled child, but it's also not my fault, either' thing. The debt itself is also not her fault; it's not her debt.

[@tidycats151]

Story 1 So the estate owes 37k to OP. When house is sold OP gets 1/4 of sale plus 37K. The inheritance for Sarah will kick her off benefits until she gets below 5k in savings. Nothing anyone can do to change that. The house must be sold. OP needs to keep her inheritance and the pay back of the loan. Don't forgive any of the debt. It won't make any difference either way. Sarah will have to go to work. No loans will be granted with the title of the property in probate. It's unfortunate but you are the only one of siblings willing to give away inheritance. Keep it. You are not your sister's keeper. You can help her get an apartment and more government assistance. Once the estate is settled. NTA Re Jokster AH. Great update. Good you cut that AH out of your life. Sell the house and gtfo. He's not serious about the relationship and never will be. Tell flying monkies to F off and block them all. Move on. Block Ex. NTA

[@justinecorrington4106]

Story 1: these YTA would not forgive 40k or understand leins and contracts that can’t be paid is worthless Story 2 how he thought that was a prank

[@DerekScottBland]

The "top comment" loses all credibility when they give the lame excuse of "you can afford to lose the money." Nope, never a valid reason.

[@dotslam1449]

For story one the easiest option for op would have been to ask for equity in the home so she could use it as collateral for a down payment for her own house reducing the liquid cash she needs and that way she gets what she wants and her sister keeps the house (minus a corner of the land hahahaha) and the family can stop feeling like op if fing her sister over

[@Jrskeetpro]

Wtffffff. The lady is trying to steal 37k from op. How the fuck is she an AH?! She shouldn’t have to suffer because the other family members won’t help.

[@GaiaTheNatureWitch]

Story 1. Op isn't the ah but I hope he has friends because sounds like his siblings are gonna go no contact

[@kmechwarrior1684]

And that's a bad thing in this case?

[@nightengalenorth6881]

Fine. They can bankroll the broke sister.

[@delarosamoni]

Depending on where OP is located, if the $37K becomes a gift instead of a loan, OP could be on the hook for gift tax.