Discovered My Wife's Secret We Tried To Make It Work But It Was Only The Beginning r/Relationships

[@thefallennero5265]

Story 2: BIL is lucky the only thing that happened to him was getting knocked to the ground for playing with and pointing a gun at his son. BF was showing a great amount a restraint

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

Story 2: Not just "point a gun at someone" but his own SON. Brother in law is absolutely crazy.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

Am I reading too much into it that he pointed the gun at his son?

[@juangarcia-df4rx]

You treat every gun as it's loaded even if you know it's unloaded

[@aNoisyPlatypus]

What gets me with the second one is that BIL didn’t just point that gun at anyone, which is bad enough in and of itself, but at HIS OWN SON. What the actual f? A man thinks it would be amusing to pretend to shoot his own child, yet the *bf* is the one who is deranged?? What sort of mental gymnastics do you have to do to come to that conclusion?

[@skylance21]

Story 2: Holy shit, not the asshole! BIL needs to thank his lucky stars the he didn't end up with broken or missing appendages after that stunt

[@SpookiCooki]

Or a dead son.

[@bhart3321]

A special kind of stupid to pick a fight with a leatherneck. Had friends & family in all branches of the service but lemme tell ya the only ones I've ever actually been terrified of are the marines. They don't pick fights but are absolutely happy to end them real quick & their marksmanship skills are second to none.

[@StephFish1004]

Story 2: Straight up if they go after your boyfriend again you need to hit them back with social services. The man pointed a deadly weapon point blank at his son. Doesn't matter if it wasn't loaded, doesn't matter if it wasn't his, doesn't matter that he wasn't being serious, HE AIMED A GUN AT HIS CHILD. And you know Mr. Stolen Valour will try to get his own some day, this needs to be on record so that doesn't happen

[@PaintSplashProductions]

Sadly CPS probably wouldn’t believe OP without evidence (like pictures or videos)

[@rumooooni]

Yeah I would had cameras for this reason too many crazy people think they can twist the story and make people who tried protecting other "crazy" sad really

[@chinxian]

Pointing gun, unloaded or not, at your kid is straight sociopath.

[@woodside4life]

100%

[@Poopiepies]

Even crazier when there’s only 4 universal gun rules and two are always check if a gun is loaded yourself and never sim at anything you aren’t willing to destroy. Anyone trained in any form for firearms would know these rules.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

The utter lack of remorse, she was just sorry she got caught. OP was lucky to think to go through the deleted texts.

[@Davtwan]

Her addiction for validation overrides her wanting to keep the family together (if she ever wanted that at all). What a sad shell of a woman.

[@bjtaylor-j9w]

@@Davtwan Maybe if HE had been a better husband, given her validation, respected her, treated her well, truly pulled his weight with housework and childcare, been loving, caring, and affectionate, when he was NOT horny, she would not have felt the need to look elsewhere. MEN need to make the effort in relationships, and stop expecting women to do all the hard work. You do not have the balls to reply respectfully, or even in a civil manner.

[@Siinwu]

@@bjtaylor-j9w ok cheater

[@ashaduplessis2772]

​@user-hk2fc4jv2g you should be able to validate yourself. If you give a man the power to feed you, you give him the power to starve you. This AP didn't validate her feelings or worth. He told her how he couldn't wait to screw her again.

[@chibijay78]

​@@bjtaylor-j9wAnd where in the post did it say that he doesn't? Maybe he doesn't help, maybe he does but it doesn't excuse cheating 🤨 or what? You know OP and the whole post is bull?

[@UzumakiDonnoHinata]

Everybody say it with me: IT'S BETTER TO BE *FROM* A BROKEN HOME THAN TO BE *IN* A BROKEN HOME!

[@truthseeker9249]

Or to be in a broken home rather than a loveless home filled with HATRED! That's what I always say.

[@ComaLies225]

My sibling is a registered gun owner. They showed a relative his handgun once and the relative “playfully” pointed the gun at them. Sibling slapped the gun off of their hands but they told me later how much they wanted to slap the relative in the face for their stupidity.

[@parkerabbott2189]

Story two is TERRIFYING. The fact that he did it and sees nothing wrong with it leaves me scared for this kid. Not everyone makes sure their gun is unloaded before storage. One misfire, even if it's just a malfunction, and you have a dead child. If BIL had any sense at all, he'd be begging for forgiveness and basically treating BF like the BF saved his son's life.

[@theloverlyladylo9158]

Story 2: that is terrifying. My family owns no guns, but my grandpa hunted, and my mom drilled into me and my sister 1) a gun is always loaded, ESPECIALLY if you think it isn’t, and 2) never point a gun at something you’re not willing to kill.

[@jennyanswer42]

Those are the first two cardinal rules of guns, if you don't know them you don't touch a gun. The third is: 3) know what is behind your target

[@SpiderRiderKya]

We don't even own guns and even I have had that drilled into me by my dad. 'Always treat a gun as if it's loaded' and 'don't point a gun at something you don't want to shoot'

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

And pointing it at his own kid! Even the wife should be pissed as hell at him.

[@CalemCooper7]

EXACTLY. I had years of gun safety drilled into me before I was allowed to have my own. I was seven when I got my first gun. If a seven year old can understand the basic rule of “don’t treat it like a toy” then an adult can too. If someone started waving a gun around like the BIL did then I’d do worse than what the bf did to him. Also, I know that it wouldn’t do anything but I would still want to report or keep on file that the BIL literally threatened his own son with a weapon. That poor kid.

[@eowyn8340]

Same. My dad’s a retired police officer and trained me on gun safety from a young age. People who treat guns like toys have no business touching them.

[@saldiven2009]

It's always crazy to me that the spouse caught cheating will often try to suggest counseling to get past the cheating so the couple can stay together. Counseling is what you should get when you first feel tempted to have an affair. That's when you can try to fix whatever issues you have with your relationship and/or your personal mental/emotional situation that are leading to you considering an affair. If you've already had the affair, counseling is too late.

[@RobDaCajun]

Pretty standard operating procedure really. If he didn’t have any evidence. Then they gaslight you into believing your jealous, it didn’t happen or your delusional. Caught red handed and know there isn’t any viable excuses. Then let’s do counseling. Preferably with a feminine leaning therapist that will try to make it all the betrayed’s fault or accept some of the fault to keep the marriage together. That’s why gray rocking and speak through the attorneys are so effective. The narrative can’t be controlled.

[@yourmom2189]

I agree. I’m a person who once my trust has been broken, it can’t be fixed, no matter what they do or how much counseling we got. Sure, I could bite my tongue and pretend it’s going to be ok. But there would always be doubt. I would be paranoid all the time. And eventually probably drive myself nuts.

[@eleethtahgra7182]

Lol, yup. Marital issue is one thing, cheating means the marriage is broken already. Its quite funny that western law view cheating as marital issue and not the dissolve of the said marriage.

[@bjtaylor-j9w]

Funny how not ONE of you lot on here would ever condemn a MAN for cheating. You would applaud a man, and blame the woman. You don't have the balls to reply respectfully, or even in a civil manner. You will be so boring, and spew the usual drivel.

[@jackchop1576]

Because she's a queen who did nothing wrong and he's an insecure, unstable monster that needs psychiatric help for reacting like this.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

WTF! Story 2 infuriates me, and has brought tears to my eye due to a family tragedy! I am a gun owner, and, and I come from a family of gun owners, and one of the first things we are taught is that no one knows if a gun is truly unloaded unless it is taken apart Also, we are to never point a gun at someone outside of protecting our family or ourselvs. No matter how experienced anyone is, we are also human and are infallible A family member of mine went to a local shooting range with her family. When they were done, their 18-year-old son assumed the gun was empty because he took the empty clip out of the gun. Sadly he found out the hard way that there was still one bullet in the chamber, as the gun accidentally discharged and shot his dad in the head, killing him instantly. Of course, it was investigated to see if it was foul play, but the CCTV camera showed it truly was an accident. This poor kid has to live the rest of his life knowing his dad died because the kid didn't realize there was an unspent bullet in the chamber. I hope OP's brother inlaw never accidentally kills himself or worse someone else.

[@kateworkman921]

Omg . . . I am so sorry for that kid. Please tell me he's gotten counseling/therapy, or at the very least, hasn't gone down a dark path, blaming himself?

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

That’s awful! I watch a guy on KZbin and he does short videos on lots of things; politics, social stuff, etc. He’s done a few on guns (he was a gun owners for years) and he said: Q: What’s the most dangerous gun in the world? A: The one you’re pretty sure is unloaded.

[@paden1865able]

I grew up with guns and was taught gun safety from a young age. I understand and respect them. That being said, I won't have one in the house because no matter how well it would be hidden, our son would still have a chance to find it. With his Autism, he sees them as toys and harmless. We've tried teaching him better but that's one thing we can't get through to him. Better to keep them out of the hands of someone who could endanger himself or others than take that risk. My heart goes out to your family.

[@samisass6759]

He pointed a gun at his kid. The end. Shows how much of a poser he really is if he has that little concept of how dangerous it is

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

@@kateworkman921 Yes hebhas been in counseling since 2 weeks after the tragedy.

[@amyalpin6251]

Story one, sell the house and split any profit, sue her for full custody of the kids based on her dangerous habit of meeting strange men from the internet for sex. Story two - Every gun is a loaded gun. That's the first rule of gun safety. She's better off without a family that values the BILs pride over his son's safety.

[@KadeStringer2.0]

Suing her isn’t going to solve nothing

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

@@KadeStringer2.0No, but I’m a bit wary about the 50/50 custody. Considering her weasel ways, I would not be surprised if she tries to turn her kids against OP, saying mommy wants to be with daddy but daddy was the one who wanted to break up the family.

[@johnbradbury8610]

@@GrumpyOldFart2 That's why OP needs to tell the kids the truth, I understand he can't do it right away, but waiting until they're grown is a huge mistake. His 304 wife will lie to make OP look bad. He is still trying to be the nice guy.

[@akl2k7]

​@johnbradbury8610 Yeah, in a couple of years, he can simply say they divorced because mom had a boyfriend. Or boyfriends. It's pretty simple, and he doesn't even have to go into detail.

[@TheEDFLegacy]

I own airsoft guns instead of real guns, but I treat them the same way. The other day I had to ask for the police over to my place on a few separate occasions, and on each occasion they noted my storage method, and approved of it. Not once were they concerned about them being real or a concern. BF is totally right.

[@AlexRising_]

Story 2: I’m a Marine vet, and disrespecting weapons safety has gotten AD Marines and recruits straight up punched. I’ve seen a Cpl damn near slap an officer because he flagged me on the pistol range. I’ve hip checked and disarmed my nephew when he and a friend were playing with air soft guns and he pointed it at his friend instead of down range (he got the “you done did hecked up” Aunt Voice and was done playing for the day and the air soft guns secured until he’s older at my suggestion. His parents honored my suggestion _specifically because I am a Marine.)_ BIL is lucky that OP’s boyfriend used the least amount of force required.

[@Tammohawk1]

2. The first thing you are taught when you learn how to shoot is to NEVER point a gun at anyone, ever. You are always to assume that the weapon is loaded too. So the fact that bil pointed that gun at his son is beyond negligent. The nutter in this isn't OP but bil. He could have killed his son!!

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 1 : *"I showed her the texts I saved at this point. Asked her how she was ending it while still sending nudes of herself. She said she was too weak to cut it off cold turkey but was planning on tapering off so that she could focus on rebuilding our marriage"* *"Raise eyberows"* is this woman serious?!

[@tully6648]

Right? And then being stubborn about leaving. Like... Why? It didn't sound like she'd be destitute on her own, and she clearly doesn't actually want to stay, so... Go on, then!

[@bhart3321]

​@@tully6648She can't cuz then she has to admit she's the one at fault. Women like this need to be the "good one" in the relationship so that they're insulated from self reflection & change. It's why they're attracted to ahole chads & losers.

[@ArcanineEspeon]

I don't think the quotation marks are adding what you are intending them to add. You might get what you're going for with asterisks * or underscores _ in place of quotation marks ", as well as changing "raise" to "raises" or "raised" and correcting spelling. Examples: *raises eyebrows* _raised eyebrows_ you might even prefer an emoticon/emoji: 👀, 👁️👄👁️, ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ ಠಿ⁠_⁠ಠ ಠ⁠︵⁠ಠ

[@Flakey101]

@@tully6648 That is more to do with divorce courts though, a person that voluntarily leaves the home, and the children, instantly gets a disadvantage in child custody hearings.

[@kristinecollier9155]

My dad served in the Marines. About 30 years later, our subdivision in the country was having a block party, and a girls ex boyfriend showed up and was attacking her. 3 men could not get him off her, but my dad did, and he held him in a submission position until the cops showed up. Plus he was a double black belt, but that does not mean he had PTSD and was a psychopath! He was a trained black belt and trained Marine!! He knew what he was doing! He saved that girls life! That guy was trying to kill her!

[@Norinia]

Story 1 update, never ever feel tempted by the offer ‘you can hit me if you want.’ It’s a trap, once you swing, they’d now have ‘evidence’ that you’re a raging abusive spouse, and they’ll take everything from you in court with that label.

[@babymac1379]

... why would you want to hit your partner in the first place? Whatever they say, if you're making the choice of physical violence against your partner, I see that as wrong.

[@Norinia]

@@babymac1379 🙄 You and 4 others read the comment section before watching the video, didn’t you? He was pissed, but never swung. *She* (OP’s Ex) was the one goading him by saying he could hit her. You might want to learn some reading comprehension and the importance of context, otherwise you’ll put your foot in your mouth at all times.

[@babymac1379]

​@@Norinia Literally no, and the choice the OP made has nothing to do with my response to your comment that "it's a trap" and talking about the repercussions of swinging. My question to your statement continues to be "why would you want to hit your partner in the first place?" You can roll your eyes if you wish, but in order to have a circumstance involving your own "once you swing" statement, you have to first make the choice to swing.

[@hiro4344]

God that gun one scares the hell out of me. I had a relative seemingly commit suicide by blowing his brains out but as people, in shock, were discussing it some who had once gone shooting with him remembered something going wrong with the gun like a bullet getting jammed in the chamber or something. At the time of the incident the relative had been arguing with his partner while cleaning his guns, and people have come to the conclusion that in annoyance he may have pointed the gun and pulled the trigger in response to the argument as just a moment of stupidity and frustration. We don't know but since it was so sudden and completely out there, it's likely. Always always always treat a gun like it's loaded and the safety's off.

[@Thermit]

“Flagging” people, a.k.a. Inadvertently pointing a firearm is justifiably a huuuuge no-no in the military or really on any range operated by sane people. I will always remember this part of a safety brief: “Never point the gun at anything you don't intend to destroy. If you point your gun at me or anyone else I will assume you want to be in a firefight and react accordingly.”

[@NerdilyDone]

Story 2: That is a 100% call CPS situation.

[@packergeek10]

Story 1: It's amazing how somebody can look somdy straight in the face and keep lying.

[@ivorynk752]

It's amazing that after being caught lying so many times the liar still expects people to believe them.

[@yourmom2189]

@@ivorynk752THIS!!!

[@dscheaffer]

They do it all the time. Cheaters have no morals or conscience, so it means nothing to them.

[@bjtaylor-j9w]

@@dscheaffer You do not think that about MEN cheating. Admit it.

[@dscheaffer]

@@bjtaylor-j9w WRONG, I intentionally did not include a gender, as both men and women cheat.

[@loganjoh1]

Story 2: gun safety 101 treat all weapons as they are loaded. The brother in law had it coming

[@AutumnFire1414]

The BIL needs a visit from CPS. These GravySeals never learn. It's all about their ego.

[@hdeodh]

S1: Always go the nuclear option and show no mercy. I would have told the wife that the only way I would even consider reconciliation is if we drove wont to the AP house and she told the wife and showed her the proof face to face. Either way, I would have divorced her but I am petty S2: So the dad pointed the gun at his son without checking if it was loaded, and the BF is the crazy one... I bet you can find news articles of the exact same situation except the child died because the dad did not realize the gun was loaded.

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

Story 2: the BF is 100% right and BIL is an absolute moron. Good Lord, that's exactly how people are killed with accidental discharges. Did BIL want to kill his son?

[@ScooterBond1970]

Oh no worries there, it would have been someone else's fault 🙄.

[@Ospyro3em]

Story 2- what the absolute hell is wrong with BIL?! What he did was extremely dangerous and immature.

[@jimmygarza8896]

Story 2, I would have sued for harassment and called CPS for potential child endangerment. If brother is willing to point a gun at his son, especially one he hasn't cleared, who knows what other dangers he's exposing his kid to.

[@JayeEllis]

Story 2: I am not a gun person. I have never even touched one, and have maybe seen one in person three or four times in my life. Even I know the three basic rules of gun safety: 1) Always assume the gun is loaded, especially if you haven't checked it yourself, 2) never point a gun at something you do not wish to destroy, and 3) Do not touch the trigger until you are ready to fire. Let's ask Alec Baldwin why these three rules are important.

[@heavenleigh2768]

My favorite thing to listen to while cleaning, it's like having a friend keep me company while doing chores ❤

[@devlyn873]

A friend with all the good dirt!

[@Bkgksan625]

I am listening to this while grading! 😂

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 this is like a few steps above stolen valor how BIL was acting. Him acting like he was the same as someone who actually served in the military OMFG what kind've idiot waves a real gun around, especially in the direction of a child. Wild they're talking about BF when BIL waved around a gun. He's the dangerous one

[@jake8748]

As someone who did 8 and half years, I hate when people either over idolise it or act like they are equal or they could have done it if they wanted etc. The worst is the ones who are good at FPS games (Call of duty for example) and then brag to you how good a soldier they'd be. Be understanding and empathetic. Be thankful for their service. Show support and care. Being too much is risking upsetting people.

[@lsmmoore1]

@@jake8748 I'm betting some of the Call of Duty people you're referencing are the same ones who get all bothered about disabled people asking for accessibility modes to PLAY said games when a) you could just not click the accessibility button if you don't need that mode, b) some accessibility modes, like color settings, only ever have an effect on that person's own screen, and c) even in MMOs, private instances and other things meant for one or only a few people exist, so accessibility mode in ways that would otherwise "ruin" the game for those who don't need it could be used in a more private part of an MMO so everyone else's game isn't "ruined". And the player who doesn't need accessibility mode could still just not click the accessibility button.

[@bhart3321]

​@@jake8748Yup nothing worse than a fudd larper/gravy seal. Most people I know that have actually seen combat & spent way too long inside are like OP bf & they'll happily tell anyone who wants to listen how much it sucks & try to talk them out of it. Yeah you might gain some legitimately very useful skills but it's not worth the hit to your mental health then be left to twist in the wind when you muster out. VA services are horrendously subpar & our military personnel deserve so so so much better.

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

​@@jake8748My nephew was practically a master at Call od Duty. So much so that he joined the marines. Well, while he does li e being a marine and has made it his career, he said he realized quickly that being a marine was not some fun video game.

[@michamocha]

Story 2: Op's family is either stupid, insane or a mixture of both and it's tragic that these people reproduced. Like, genuinely, how can they justify being so livid and demanding of Op to leave her boyfriend for disarming BIL rather than being livid at BIL for pointing a freaking gun at his son. If anything, I would've been considering divorce if my partner did something like that because it's like what everyone said. BIL had no idea if it was loaded or if the safety was on and off. Had boyfriend not been a responsible gun owner, this story could've became devastating.

[@ZombieSazza]

Well I guess being able to disarm someone who’s untrained and an idiot at 5’2, use a walking cane, and have PTSD, now makes me some insane psychopathic maniac, and that’s cool to learn? I’m glad OP and her partner are able to connect with his family and rebuild, I’m glad they have actual support and aren’t dealing with her toxic side any more.

[@BIGEAGLEDUDE]

With the second story even with the update, something tells me that the other sister may not know the full details of the entire situation. So just tell her what's up and what all went down. In addition, it seems to me like both the father and the son meaning your boyfriend and his father basically wait a strange way because your boyfriend didn't follow in his footsteps and did his own thing. And I think this moment caused your Boyfriend and his father to just talk some things out. It seems to me a new beginning for him and his father but for you and your family, a whole lot of different type of situation. is my advice. Tell your sister everything but also let her know that you are going. No contact with the rest of the family because of the other sister's husband's behavior. they hate the fact that somebody put a member of their own family in his place. And now they're mad at you because they know he's not taken BS from nobody, not even them.

[@joellendocherty9507]

The minute a partner sexts and sends Nudie pics to someone else your marriage is OVER!!! Pack her shit, move her out and start your new life with self-respect. Take solace that you didn’t keep believing her bullshit.

[@dieSterbendeGiraffe]

Wow, who'd point a gun at a child?! Just wow. I've never held a gun in my life and even I know.

[@claudialynn4272]

My cousin got shot as a teenager from an “unloaded” gun. ALWAYS clear the chamber and never point a gun at ANYTHING you don’t plan on shooting.

[@BIGEAGLEDUDE]

With the first story even with the update. The ex-wife is so far in denial that she cannot admit to herself? Does she destroy her marriage because of her own insecurities and warning validation from other men to the point where she cheated on him with a co-worker. In addition, the original poster needs to tell his father. The real reason for the divorce and he needs to tell her family. So they can be prepared in case she tries to turn the story on to him with the evidence. Lastly, he needs to tell the co-worker's wife everything so she can be prepared for everything. Else about to come her way. this is a woman that knows all the math with her marriage is over, but she doesn't want to leave the house. She doesn't want to pay child support. She definitely doesn't want to see her kids 2 weekends a month. And for sure she doesn't want her image and her reputation to be ruined or worse. Her losing her job because she can involve with a coworker Especially if it was during business hours. The original poster needs to tell everybody in the family. Their friends and his family and the co-worker's wife was sure, and he needs to keep all the evidence in one place where the wife can't find it because she knows all the madway that if he tells the wife, so to be ex, wife is going to go off. And she will make his life a living hell. And what I mean by that is? She will ruin his life in the personal mental and physical sense. Lastly, I think this is a man who needs therapy and counseling, but the moment will come when his kids are 13 and 15 respectfully, where they're going to ask. Why aren't you and mom together? And he needs to have that proof ready just to show them the reasons and tell them why and then it will be all the Mother's responsibility to face the truth and the consequences of our actions. The sad thing about is I don't think the wife even cares about the severity of the situation. As long as her safety net is still in tank, she could care less about how this man feels in when she said you can hit me that almost is like she wants him to do something just so she can't say we're even. Make sure that she knows automatically that you have 2 options. You can either move out and you can still have 5050 of the kids. Or be prepared for me to go for full custody. And you see them every other weekend.

[@madarawijerathne276]

2nd story my heart dropped when dumb bil pointed gun at his son imagining it goes off, so glad it didn't

[@carlrood4457]

I swear the cheaters really need a new playbook. It's the same things every time. Denial, trickle truthing, tears, begging, anger, etc.

[@jacearmor5274]

S2: NTA. Funny how the alleged "psychopath" isn't the one who pointed a gun at a child.

[@maggpiprime954]

What the absolute _fuck??_ He grabbed a lethal weapon like a toy and pointed it at his _SON._ And the mother blamed the man who _disarmed_ that fool? Honestly, this is something I'd call CPS for.

[@oakenshadow6763]

Stiey 2: I'm impressed with the gun safety of the boyfreind. Guns and ammo seperate, always treat guns like they are loaded, and never aim it at something you don't want to kill. I wish the military treated him better. He's he is why I'm proud to be born on Veteran's Day. I look up those who serve, not the military itself.

[@Broeckchen]

As a child of divorce, I get so annoyed everytime someone goes "Oh no! Our kids are going to grow up in a broken home!" I was born right before the 90s and the only thing that was stressful about the divorce was my father being a butt about it to my Mom. I still had a perfectly normal time in Kindergarten and school, had a blast at sleepovers with my friends, celebrated beautiful holidays and birthdays. The pregnancy with me was discovered because the toxicity of the relationship drove my Mom to do something dangerous enough to land in the hospital, if you catch my drift. My childhood could have been me growing up watching my Mom being torn down by my Dad, meekly accepting the verbal abuse. It could have been a parade of misstresses potentially showing hatred for the child that still tied him to his wife. It could have been a father coming home late at night from his escapades and going drunk to my room to wake me up to see me at all before he went to sleep. Isn't THAT a broken home?! As a divorcee, my Dad mostly had me over the weekends. And he actually made time for me then. He treated me with love and care in part because he realized that he could lose his only daughter if he didn't. My childhoos memories are of two wonderful parents who loved me very much, even if they don't love each other. And when I grew up, while I did end up taken advantage of by some men, I always drew the line long before my mother originally had. Because the mother I grew up with didn't take shit. If you ever have kids and need to decide about a divorce, stop using shit like "broken home" as terminology. My home had two loving parents, a loving stepdad, and admittedly a few loving girlfriends of my Dads who briefly showed up and then disappeared lol. My home was different, but never broken. It was human, and it was flawed, but it was better and less broken than it could ever have been without the divorce.

[@SteveMichael]

Story 1. Reconciliation can work but it requires both people to work on it and be committed 100%. One somewhat easy way to test this is that when the person starts to promise everything under the sun, mandate a few things. Step one is to go over to the AP house and confess in person to the guys wife. If she is not willing to do that then it is over. If you hear anything about protecting the AP, then you also know where her true loyalties lie. Next up is for her to sign a post nup, saying that if she contacts any men in the future about anything sexual, and or communicates in any way with the AP, she will leave with just her cloths and give up everything. Next up is a lie detector scheduled for that day. You would obviously set that up in advance but tell her that day. Then there is getting off social media FOREVER and complete open tech policy. Key logger installed also. There are a bunch of times where a woman will promise everything under the sun, but then fold when asked to do these things. Oh and one last thing. She would contact everyone (family and friends) and confess and say that the husband did nothing wrong. This is 100% on her and her selfishness.

[@Knives7777]

Story 1: Stop forgiving cheaters. Its that simple they will never change.

[@Bleg94]

yep, it needs time and things need to happen before they even start thinking they need to change, one of the things that need to happen is them getting left by everyone they „care“ about

[@mattl6300]

The two most important rules with guns are "all guns are loaded" and "never point a gun at anything you don’t intend to shoot"

[@canadalovesanime3137]

story 1: People who "stay together for the kids", are doing the wrong thing. You may think you are doing what's best for the kids. Kids know that their parents aren't happy even if they aren't told. The kids won't be in a "broken home", they will be in a healthy home. The kids always know something is wrong even without knowing or understanding the situation. I hate how these cheaters always try the "fix" the relationship. If they aren't happy they should end it and find happiness elsewhere, not cheat. Why do they always try to hold on so badly if they are so miserable that they HAVE to cheat?

[@Oatmealism]

You always treat a firearm as if it is loaded, and you never point a firearm at anything that you don't intend to destroy. Loaded or not, does not matter.

[@madambutterfly1997]

What's the point of being married if you're hungry for the validation and gratification of other people? For me the constant validation and gratification it's like pouring a drink into a cup and that once you get married the cup always full. So when I hear that somebody cheats in my mind it's them trying to pour more into a full glass so it's like how dare you want more when you already have everything

[@asherikamichaela8425]

May be an addiction for her. You know, "never enough" and all that. It sounds like it, and it's probably been going on for years, maybe even well before she and OP got together in the first place. People like that don't change without significant therapy. They only get worse.

[@madambutterfly1997]

​@asherikamichaela8425 well then at that point you're a black hole and there is no place in my life in my personal Circle for anyone who has the audacity to not be satisfied

[@madambutterfly1997]

​@@asherikamichaela8425people like that don't change at all regardless of the therapy

[@asherikamichaela8425]

@@madambutterfly1997 Well, they certainly won't without intervention. Addiction comes in many forms, including this. Don't get me wrong, she's absolutely, 100% at fault here, her and whoever else she's been with that knew she was in a relationship (married with kids, no less), but it is possible to walk back from colossal mistakes if you're willing to put in the effort toward that change. Things won't ever be the same, but they don't have to stay like that.

[@Bleg94]

1. Story: while I hope I am wrong, what makes OP think that those children are his and not the children of one of her many APs

[@chewbuggy528]

Story 2: It gets better. on a previous post she made about him, she talks about a conversation she had. They were watching movies and the character was defusing a bomb. OP's BF is bomb disposal guy with the marines. They both like to call out stupid things. She said, "Babe she's like 5, do you expect her to know how to diffuse a bomb?" and he replied, "Well when we have kids I'll make sure they can well before that age." She was too stunned to speak because that was the first time that kids have been brought up. She asks, "You want kids with me?" and he responds, "Yeah but like im going to marry you first. im going to be the only one allowed to call our kids bastards." When he realized what he said, he started stammering and apologizing and she kissed him. That guy is a keeper.

[@LetholdusKaspyr]

My mother refused to believe my dad had dementia until he was basically empty, but I recognized it years before, when he started forgetting basic gun safety. It's no joke. Handle a weapon properly, or don't.

[@adrianneisaacson8056]

Gorilla Luggage test refers to an old Seveties commercial where a Gorilla beats the crap out of Samsonite luggage and the luggage stays intact. That's so dated😊

[@AutumnFire1414]

I remember that commercial! Those gorillas beat the crap outta those things.

[@jennywhite2462]

I hate to hear people say they will never get over a cheater. You will it will be hard at first but months will go by then years. One day you look back 20 years later and realize that person was never the one. You will be happy again.

[@gngrblls2thwall]

S2: there's like thousands of CCT videos from shooting ranges of people getting immediately restrained and ejected because of things they thought it would be funny to point their guns at for a second. It's the standard gun-competent person's reaction.

[@lanecriddle1124]

There’s a saying that the most dangerous gun is the “unloaded” gun. The “tacti-cool” BIL is a negligent discharge waiting to happen

[@crem-crem4070]

Story. 2: BIL almost killed his son.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I was today years old when I realized I've never heard the word sext outloud. Had to see the text to understand what was being communicated. I've just heard sexting. Too weak to cut it off cold turkey?? WTF. Just get a divorce. You gave her so many chances to tell the truth and she couldn't even own her cheating

[@robbiprendergast7759]

The first rule of gun safety is never ever point your gun at anyone and always, always assume it is loaded.

[@aduckofsomesort]

A man killed his little daughter by pointing a gun at her and pulling the trigger that he thought was unloaded. And it was his own gun too.

[@gngrblls2thwall]

It is really hard for me to imagine any context where someone could say to me "they don't understand warriors like us" and I would be able to not crack up laughing. Like, even if the two of us are chatting while cleaning out our bullet wounds in the midst of our 20th Navy Seal mission. Who IRL talks like that?

[@SpookiCooki]

I've always been told to never point a gun at someone. Doesn't matter if it's empty, secured or whatever. You do not push that boundary! My dad got a shotgun when I was a child and I respected that thing so much I never even touched it. It is in a gun safe but my brother and I had a soft air gun there as well so we had to borrow the key to use it. And yes, we followed the same rules with that one. Even kept it pointing down at all times when we weren't shooting.

[@babymac1379]

Story 1: That one comment about telling the kids everything and showing the kids the messages and getting the kids so involved in their divorce was kind of icky to me. When the children are old enough, sure, they can learn what happened, but it's gross to tell someone to show their kids what happened as a way of "punishing" their parent. Story 2: What is FUNNY about "pretending" to shoot YOUR CHILD!?!? What in the actual f$*% is WRONG with that guy??

[@akl2k7]

And even then, all OP needs to tell them is that mom had a boyfriend so they couldn't stay married anymore. Simple without too much detail and they'll put two and two together when they're older

[@RoseKoneko]

My former roommates had a few guns between them and I couldn’t imagine just grabbing one without permission, let alone hold it in the direction of someone else, even when assured they weren’t loaded. Her boyfriend’s reaction was warranted.

[@tuckersontim]

That last story. You know if there ended up being an accident and the child was hurt they would be blaming op's boyfriend and not the father who wasn't listening and thought it was a good idea to SHOOT HIS OWN CHILD.

[@AlyssMadigan]

I'd have called CPS on the brother in law who pointed ANY GUN at his own child

[@Hope_this_is_just_a_dream1994]

Man. I live in the Southern US. I have been around guns and knives my entire life and the number one rule is to respect the weapon. And that means never pointing a gun at anyone, loaded or unloaded, if you have no intention of shooting. The BIL needs serious help if he thinks that it's appropriate to point any weapon at an 11 year old kid and think it's funny. BIL is a warrior? In what capacity, "The Dumbass Brigade?" Got various medals for various fuck-ups and dumbassery? Jeez, if you put the dude in actual combat, he would probably piss his drawers.

[@BlackironEzekiel]

Literally never touched a real life firearm in my entire life and even I know the three major rules of gun safety. -Check and Clear every weapon you touch -Treat every weapon as though it was loaded and safety is off -Do not point the weapon at anyone/anything you aren't willing to kill/destroy (Including what's behind it)

[@meezerluvr]

Universal rules of gun safety - quoted from multiple sources: 1. Treat all firearms as if they are always loaded. (That includes those you've just cleared) 2. Never point the firearm at anything you are not willing to destroy. 3. Always keep your finger off the trigger until your sights are on target and you've decided to shoot. 4. Know your target and what is beyond it. BIL violated all of the first three. I'm assuming #3 because the first thing people unfamiliar with firearms do is put their finger on the trigger. It's a natural reaction. You can tell if someone has had some experience if they cover the trigger instead.

[@ouji8478]

I’m not even a gun owner, I am painfully british, and even I know not to aim guns at CHILDREN.

[@BodyLanguageAnalysisInterrogat]

18:39 🙏 Agreed. Boyfriend seems level-headed and mature vs. emotional brother-in-law

[@anonymouslee2083]

As a gun owner, story two made my blood boil. It is absolutely drilled in my head that I don’t point a gun loaded or not at me or anybody else especially not one of unknown status, especially not with my finger on the trigger

[@Adri4a]

My father served over two decades as a marine. But that has little to do with basic gun safety. To take a strangers gun (after being told not to) pointing it at his son (even high schoolers understand not to do that) and getting butthurt from being disarmed, is just simply shameful and idiotic.

[@albertvalenzuela9700]

Wow I can't believe this What has this world turn to when you can't trust a lying partner

[@krisd1996]

To anyone considering getting back with their cheating ex, just remember that she went and got her back blown out, had him IN HER MOUTH, then came home and kissed you. Never get back with a cheater, period.

[@Nihlus16]

Story 2: I grew up in the Midwest with family in the military AND as avid hunters, one of the most IMPORTANT rules is you never, ever, EVER aim a gun at someone. That's how incidents happen. OP's family should worry about BIL to be honest, a grown a$$ adult who thought it was a fun idea to aim a REAL weapon at his own child. What the actual 🦆???? If it wasn't cleared or on safety then things could've gone south fast and OP's bf could've gotten in trouble for it because it was his guns and he was present when it went down.

[@SK98765]

Story 2: first thing everyone is told is to act like any gun is loaded, second rule is to not point it at something you're not intending to shoot. BIL broke them BOTH and sounded toxic besides. Your family is nuts. I'd rather someone proven responsible and capable in my family than that maniac. He could've killed his own son, and they would've blamed your bf.

[@chickensandwich8808]

"Tickle fish and paddle in kiddie pools?" - quintessential British sarcasm xD

[@katwitanruna]

Story two- my father kept his rifles in an upper closet (1968) and I knew at seven that you don’t play with them and you never ever ever point at anything you don’t intend to shoot.

[@1danysane]

Story 2: so brother-in-law claims to be a military fanatic yet the moment he's reprimanded for his terrible behavior, suddenly this military vet is a psychopath? Guy was never a good person. Just a selfish suckup.

[@annabellehe4307]

I dont understand why the cops or cps weren't immediately called after bill pointed a gun at his child

[@dmb25108]

Story 2: 1. Assume every Firearm is Loaded 2. Control the Muzzle direction at all times 3. Finger of the Trigger and out of the Trigger guard 4. P.R.O.V.E. it’s Safe Point fire in a safe direction Remove the ammunition Observe the Chamber Verify the feeding path Examine the bore And a final rule: NEVER POINT A GUN AT SOMETHING YOU DON’T WISH TO DESTROY. This is the A.C.T.S and P.R.O.V.E.s of firearm safety. BIL is a complete moron when it comes to firearms safety, and should NEVER handle a firearm again without a complete attitude adjustment and a firearm safety course. In this situation he violated every single rule of firearm safety.

[@novabrilliant4510]

The reference to the 1970's Samsonite luggage commercial was too much! Yeah, I'm that old.

[@carolroberts4614]

Good evening Mark and everyone!

[@clairebear-96]

“she said she was too weak to cut it off cold turkey, but was planning on tapering off so she could focus on rebuilding our marriage” LMAO yeah no that’s not how that works. i caught my boyfriend texting/sexting someone (never met in person, i know bc she lives 2000 miles away) and I told him “you have to cut her off immediately and never speak to her again or we’re done” and guess what, he did just that! We worked on rebuilding trust and over a year later, we’re still together. If he’d told me “I’m tapering off talking to her” I’d’ve been out the door immediately, imo OP should’ve left at that point too (if not before that) Edit oh good he is leaving her, thank god lol

[@squidward6187]

S2. As someone with PTSD, I find it enraging how people demonize us. It's a form of victim-blaming. "I gave you PTSD through extreme physical and mental abuse but YOU are the dangerous one." Ped0philia runs in my family (the cycle of abuse) and I straight up said to my brother, "don't f*ck your children, it's not good for them." The next day his wife calls our dad in hysterics (I was staying at their place) saying brother told her that I plan to blow up their children's daycare centre. She believes him because I have PTSD and this is apparently what people with PTSD do. Frankly, I never found her the smartest. This is something that Ped0s do: they marry someone really clueless that is easily brainwashed who will provide them with children or, if the ped0 is female, with stability and outward respectability. She turned to me one time before this happened when there was a lull in the conversation and said out of nowhere, "people who are paranoid of ped0philes are stupid," with the smarmiest smile. She wanted me to get angry but I was so impressed with her stupidity and lack of regard for her children, I just said, "of course it never happens." She was disappointed.

[@cdelapaz5]

Story 2; file an official police report. Both on what happened, and that they are incorrectly claiming that he is abusive. They can make your life miserable with fault accusations when they get the law involved.

[@lachlanp3365]

Story 2 they are surprised that the boyfriend who used to be in the military knocked down the moron who pointed a gun at his own kid. Pretty sure he would have been trained how to do this as would most other military/ law enforcement. I feel it makes little difference to why he did it. (Going through the motions or just wanting to deck him) if you point a gun at someone as a joke be Glad that someone didn't send to to hospital. It was OPs boyfriends gun not the BIL, never grab a gun without permission you don't know what condition it is in. It probably will not be loaded every gun safety program will tell you always treat a gun as if it's loaded.

[@VirginiaSunrise11]

Story 2: I audibly gasped 😱 when you said he pointed it at HIS CHILD! never point at something you have no intention of destroying. Even my 5 year old knows this weapons basic.

[@ChangedWinds]

Story 2: unsure why but there is a population of American men who're super obsessed with the military, but up gear and get into "training" via the local Vet trying to milk them (there is a story, cause #notallvets) or online. My ex-bf was big into it, despite the fact I serve. I listen to these stories cause it's helpful to connect. Yes, all these stories are commonly (not all) about the worst someone is surviving in their life, but it's a part of life. So stories like story 2 hurt. It's more common than people realize that the military civilian divide is large and each passing generation it gets larger. I feel for OP, the bf, I feel for them. They're not alone.

[@oompaloompa202]

He pointed the gun at his son.

[@Shangori]

I'd stay quiet for a while longer. Make sure everything can be cut as cleanly as possible. I wouldn't want to end up having to pay for a vile creature like that. Of course I'd expose their relationship to the workplace. Who knows how many more she's screwing around. How selfish can one be to not just backstab your spouse like that, but also leave two children with a broken home. Heck, are they even his kids?

[@bhart3321]

Exactly! There was one a few years back where his wife wasn't just banging her boss but the husband of another coworker/friend that was helping her cover up the affair with her boss as well as several other people.

[@gabinathan5499]

LAST STORY THE OP'S BROTHER-INLAW ISN'T JUST AN IDIOT POINTING THE GUN AT JACK HE IS ABSOLUTELY CRAZY + OUT OF HIS MIND .

[@mztweety1374]

Y'all ....never chase what you didn't want in the first damn place. If you cheat, own up to it. Be prepared to get caught and say okay I did it you can walk away if you want.

[@LadyBern]

Story 2 I'm just kinda amazed. BIL is a tactifool so you'd think he'd learn about firearms, hell after what happened with Alec Baldwin you'd think he'd know or at least have heard the basic gun safety rules. And the number 1 rule is to keep the muzzle pointed away from others in a safe direction, if you're aiming at something/one you should only when you have intentions to shoot. So many people don't own or even handle guns and they know better. I bet BIL has wandered into a gun store and was kicked out 5 minutes later.

[@benjiro8793]

Story 2: As a non-gun owner or user, even i know you NEVER point a gun at anybody (unless its in self defense, vs a attacker), and you assume any gun is loaded, even if you checked yourself! This type of callus action requires a CPS report at absolute minimum. FFS ... when hearing the story about him pointing the gun, i expected the next line to be "there was still a bullet in the chamber and he just killed his own kid". "Warrior", my ass ... Take his ass to some army vets, they will beat the stuffing right out of him, when they find out what he pulled. He got off cheap with a single hit. Its the typical story of "who got the story out first", where you see the lines draw based who was first with their story. And then most people do not change their minds because that is like admitting they are wrong, so they double down. "only a psychopathy person" will deck a man, for pointing a gun at a child? Let me guess, every family member only got the first part and never the second part (pointing a gun). And yes, OP BF was also slightly at fault. You never open up personal items, if you really do not trust that person. It can be guns, it can be your Pokémon collection, your priceless antiques etc. There are simply too many people in the world that do irrational actions out of jealousy, or other stupid emotions. And then downplay their own actions later when something goes wrong. I feel sorry for the kid, because clearly his parents are both toxic as hell.

[@colleens1107]

Dammit I really want to know why the sister in the last post was coming. Please show the update when it comes out, Mark! And as a child of a gun owner, I visibly winced reading BIL actions. My father was very very careful and adamant about teaching my brother and me gun safety. If that shotgun had been loaded and it gone off, BIL could have killed someone including his own goddamn child. Boo on the family for taking sides with the man who almost created a tragedy

[@natebernasconi]

Met up, she seemed supportive, but OC is maintaining LC with family

[@christinesinclair6938]

S1: Well, at least he knows he was naive at first. Some never come out of the fog. S2: FAFO and the BIL is a friggin moron and so are her sister and family. SMDH. NEVER HANDLE A GUN LIKE THAT!

[@blackbird4852]

Last story, wtf. Idiots like that who just assume are the reason you occasionally hear the sad stories of someone dying at a shooting competition because the judges checked the gun thinking it was clear without checking and there was a bullet left in the chamber. And how can you ever point a weapon at your child without being 1000% sure? Or you know, at all?

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#1 - It always amazes me how these people who cheat can lie so effortlessly and right to their SO's face. And have their mate completely fooled. Like in this case, it is someone they've been married to for years. Feel really bad for OP but hope he gets to stay in the house with the kids and dear old mom gets the crappy apartment - it is what she deserves.