After 10 Years My Wife Has Admitted That My Daughter Is Not Mine r/Relationships

[@davidsmnje]

Story 1: wife got what she wanted, a man who'd raise all her kids, no matter who fathered them! But if she's been updating the bio dad for years there's a Civil case there, she knowingly and willingly committed fraud!

[@philwill0123]

If guy doesn't want anything to do with her, why she updating them? Because either she still wants him, or he's dangling that to resume an affair. She couldn't even be bothered to be discreet. She basically forced people to keep her secret.

[@tallyp.7643]

@@philwill0123 My guess is he wanted the wife as his piece, but not the kid. Still doesn't make sense that he'd be getting updates on the kiddo. THAT is the strangest part of all of this, and just pushes the dagger even deeper into the relationship between OP and wife. She's a trash person all around playing a decade long manipulation game. Damn... I can't even imagine the day by day in the aftermath now. Or maybe I just don't want to.

[@davidsmnje]

@@tallyp.7643 actually the communication might help him! Paternity fraud is not a criminal offense BUT you can file civil action if you can prove the mother knew this wasn't his child and with her maintaining contact and updating bio-dad it might be easy! Her motives are irrelevant there's no answer that will satisfy him or anyone for that matter, this is just despicable!

[@loganblackwood2922]

It shouldn't be a civil case, it should be a criminal case. Paternity fraud is the only type of fraud that carries no legal repercussion. And in France, you're not even entitled to appeal for a paternity test. In the US, you can be held liable for a kid you neither consented to have, nor was informed wasn't yours. You can also get sent to prison for not paying for a child that isn't yours.

[@stellamccoy5259]

My husband didn't find out until he was 50 that his sister was his bio mom, and the woman he knew as mom was his bio grandmother. It really messed him up, especially because he found out after she passed.

[@XHobbiesPrime]

Sounds like that was on purpose. She never wanted him to know or if he did find out she wanted it after she was gone and he could not confront her.

[@paulastiles5507]

I only found out a couple of years ago that someone I thought was my great-aunt was a cousin who was the daughter of my great-aunt from when said great-aunt was a teenager, and that I had an older great-aunt I didn't even know existed. Yay for genealogy.

[@Objective-Observer]

My dad was in his 60's, when he began to suspect that his oldest sister was his mother. She was 16 years older than him. In hospice, he told her his suspscions and she neither denied it nor confirmed it. 'If you want to think that, I'm okay with it.' I got the confirmation after he passed through DNA; my dad was 1/4th Italian and he looked it. His grandfather was blue eyed, with blonde hair.

[@nilianstroy]

@@Objective-Observer how do italians look like? Terence Hill is Italian for the record.

[@cupcak3ninja209]

That weird, my parents told me when I was a teen .. why wouldn’t they tell him when he was older? Lol

[@shaetoons3602]

Story 1: I would've told the daughter first then went nuclear on the wife and friends if I was Op. The wife and friends lying for 10 years is disgusting.

[@RJLiams]

Don't forget the bio dad. Especially if he has a wife. Expose his cheating to his family and community.

[@shaetoons3602]

@Ricky Williams I agree, everyone involved deserved to be exposed.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

Same here. I would've ruined their lives.

[@kichikitsu]

Gross. Hope none of y'all ever come into contact with kids, yours or otherwise. Nuclear should never be an option here because the KIDS, as in plural, as in the kids OP's watched grow up for 15 years and not just the 10yr old, would inevitably get caught in the crossfire. Innocent people would get hurt and traumatized just bc y'all decided your anger is more important than them. Nuclear is an option when innocents *aren't* included in the situation. Not in this situation. OP is by far more mature, caring, and deserving of the title of partner than y'all. And his ex wife.

[@RJLiams]

@@kichikitsu the mom and friend group already hurt the kids by hiding this secret. You say to keep innocents from being hurt yet you seem quick to want to protect shitty people who already hurt these kids with their lies. Orbdo you believe having an affair, lying to the husband and kids for over a decade, and pretending nothing happened doesnt affect the children? Shitty people SHOULD NOT be allowed to hurt someone so deeply and just be allowed to act they did nothing wrong.

[@katalinapedroza3396]

Last OP has an update: In very very brief summary, OP confronted gf, who made it very obvious that she didn’t give a rat’s ass about him/his opinions/his feelings. She didn’t know about proposal, probably blubbered about it whenever she was begging for reconciliation, and OP showed his shiny spine when he broke things off. Cheers, OP!

[@bhart3321]

More examples of toxic women keeping each other single. Great hopefully more men will start being able to identify these pos leftovers & let them rot alone, angry, & bitter. So sick of seeing these types of women perpetuating toxic behavior, they're a big part of the reason why dating sucks so hard now.

[@awdrifter3394]

Story 2, the son is an adult. The initial agreement of "not to tell him when he's ready" made sense for a child. But if he's 20 then he's as ready as he'll ever be.

[@ettinakitten5047]

It really didn't make sense in the first place. He was more ready to hear that information at 2 than at 20. It's way better to tell them early and often than to keep it a big secret to be revealed eventually.

[@iamalbertwesker2]

They never intended to tell him, that's why they kept moving the goal post

[@demariusperry9233]

Story 1: That was never his family, she couldn't even use protection that's how much Disrespect she has for him.

[@nonyabiz2013]

Story 3 has a recent update as of an hour ago, he's moving out and he broke up with her. After reflecting on their relationship he realized he always comes second to her friends and frequently cancels plans with him to hang with them, so he's done.

[@theconfusedvampire]

Story 1: I know it may seem small to most people, but, the medical history thing always gets me with these things since my health has always been very poor. Lying about the dad means lying medical history and that can possibly f*** your kid's health over later.... It's not worth it.

[@Russman67]

Story 3: The girlfriend knew this was a romantic anniversary trip and decided to stomp that boundary and bring her friends along over OP's objection. This doesn't sound like a solid place to add a marriage proposal. Time to rethink the relationship.

[@ynmonroe]

It really is time to rethink. I think buddy is doing that now. Not sure why he would want someone this selfish in the first place, but sometimes it's hard to see the full picture.

[@jerriewyatt905]

Proposal story.. OP should tell his GF he’d planned to propose and now he’s decided not to, because obviously her friends are more important to her..

[@zackschilling5154]

Went and read the post he just updated saying he ended their relationship. She didn’t know he was going to propose so that wasn’t the reason

[@bribri2925]

@Zack Schilling Can u paste his response exactly?🥺

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

@@zackschilling5154 I didn't see his update, but I figured it wasn't her trying to avoid the proposal. Based on his replies and how angry her and her friends were that he was leaving, I feel like the real reason she invited them was to have a free ride on his dollar. Like, they expected him to foot the bill for the meals and activities for her and her friends, and him leaving hinders that plan.

[@jackspring7709]

Story 1: She came with a pre-made family - and the only child that you thought was your's actually turned out not to be your's? What a classy, wonderful wife.

[@reggiebrown4911]

Another reason to avoid single mothers.

[@loganblackwood2922]

Modern women bro. Alpha bucks, beta bucks.

[@Number-vt1fl]

I'm surprised op didn't turn into a super villain after that level of betrayal.

[@ajzephyros7454]

give them time

[@BeardyBaldyBob]

Paternity fraud is one of the most evil things there is. And talking about forgiving her?! What?! She has lied to him every single day for a DECADE!! He has been made a complete fool of for years and years, and all her friends knew?! What an utterly disgusting group of people.

[@John-oo8dn]

Forgiving? She'd be lucky if I didn't kill her.

[@slick8086]

Story three.. "You ruined the trip by going home early!!!" "You ruined the relationship by inviting your friends to our anniversary vacation"

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 2 - All the adults made this mess to begin with by agreeing to keep this secret and especially keeping it so damn long. Kids are a lot more understanding than adults ever give them credit for, my parents had enough respect for me to make it clear that while I was adopted I was loved and they never treated me differently than my siblings. I hope this continues to die as time goes on and parents learn to be more open and honest with their child/children that came into the family via adoption, surrogacy, etc.

[@nightbest2308]

Story 2: While I agreed with you that the adults made a mess I think OP was wrong. After all the hard work was mostly done and OP swooped in to take up a fatherly roll and came off smelling like a saint. What about the Aunt that took on the responsibility of raising that kid? After she did all the motherly work like changing diapers, going through sleepless nights, and being there for her son OP trampled all over that because he wanted his father role back one he gave up fully and willingly.

[@bluelan9393]

@@nightbest2308 She should never have said she give birth to him. She is his mother no matter what, but the kid has the right to now his origin. At some point he will know, and it would be worse. They needed to be an united front and talk about it, but never to hide it from his life.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

@@nightbest2308 Unfortunately with adoption, it’s not a 100% guarantee how your child will react and that reaction can also change over time. In my teens I obsessed over my biological mother that I only knew the name of and had some resent towards my mom, now in my late 20’s I appreciate my mom so much more and still view her as my mother even if I still wish to someday meet or speak to my biological mom. Some adoptees never want anything to do with bio parents and some no longer want anything to do with the parents that raised them. it sucks for the sister, and if I were OP or his wife I’d still try to nurture that relationship, but ultimately they can’t force the son to do anything. I think OP should have at least let them know with a quick text or something as he was doing it, but I think that because of the horrible arrangement these three had it was likely not to go in the aunt’s favor when the truth came out anyways because it’s a special kind of bad choice to lie and say you gave birth to your adopted child when you didn’t. Being lied to your whole life can really impact people, and it’s best not to assume the outcomes will be in your favor.

[@SunBeeSmoked]

@Night Best no it was a shifty secret to keep for so long, the kid deserved to know and everyone else kept pushing it off.

[@SunBeeSmoked]

@Night Best also, the bio dad has been his fatherly figure since the 1st grade. He didn't just swoop in when he was grown and take up a fatherly role, that's BEEN his role that's WHY his son called him dad even before knowing the truth. Pay attention to the story and use some critical thinking.

[@lisakaz35]

OP in that first story needs a therapist and an attorney. Pronto.

[@tracicolvis7382]

Last story: I hadn't considered she may have been trying to prevent the proposal. To me she seems like the person who shows up to a 1st date with 2 friends expecting the guy to just pay for everyone.

[@suzanneholmes8612]

Sadly I wonder if she was trying to avoid the proposal.

[@MrJpaynebb]

Update on that post. She had no clue OP was going to propose on the trip. He let her know how hurt he was and tired of coming in 3rd to her friends all the time. He dumped her.

[@bhart3321]

@@MrJpaynebb Fantastic! Stupid selfish bish screwed herself out of proposal AND a relationship. Now she & her friends can hop back on the cc until they hit 40+ and wonder why they still aren't married & have no prospects.

[@tallyp.7643]

Until I started listening to these Reddit stories, I didn't think people that dense or selfish existed outside of crappy RomComs. Sheesh

[@mogulmade]

@@MrJpaynebb Yes! I'm so happy with how he handled it too. Bye Sarah 👋🏾

[@sylviacalderon2180]

Story 1: I personally think mandatory paternity test should be done for all pregnancies. If it is mandatory, no one can get their feelings hurt if they have it done. Now that I have teenage sons, these situations are becoming more and more disturbing.

[@Amna613]

Story 1: OP is the safety net/back up plan if affairs dont work out. Story 2: Good for OP having a cordial relationship with his son/nephew over the years which must have softened the blow. Story 3: Yeah GF will keep OP on the back burner forever if he marries her.

[@jenniferhanses]

Story 3: NTA. Rethink that relationship, bud. 1) She knew this was an anniversary trip and invited her friends anyway. 2) She told you her friends were coming instead of asking 3) All of these people insisted to you that you were all having fun when you tried to leave. Basically invalidating your feelings/gaslighting you about what was going on. People who are leaving because they're unhappy are not having fun. This is generally obvious even to kindergarteners.

[@Princess_of_cute]

Story 3 Update: He broke up with her after realizing that she did that actually quite too often and that she will always put her friend over her. She didn't know that OP wanted to propose and later begged to not give up and that she would change, but she did that already several times.

[@DrawciaGleam02]

Part of me would be tempted to reveal the intended proposal to the friends! Tell them "You IDIOTS ruined the surprise marriage proposal!!! "" I know that's petty, but......

[@Princess_of_cute]

@@DrawciaGleam02 That sounds amazing, but I don't like to imagine what drama they'll begin after

[@indianspartan76]

Story 1: This is why after every story where a guy wants a paternity test, I say he wouldn't be put in that awkward position if paternity tests were made mandatory at birth. Imagine that, no man ever having to question that the kids are his, and also never having to question his wife/gf as it's done by the hospital for him

[@jazminehollister3967]

Until a lab fudges it up and says "you are/aren't the father" and it was the opposite result. Clerical errors happen even between siblings like twins being born to 2 different dads, names mixed up for babies born the same day or with similar names (i.e Johnson going to John's son but really Jameson is John's son) . Things happen and once doubt is raised it's hard to lower

[@nilianstroy]

@@jazminehollister3967 what have happened more time, paternity fraud or wrong dna results, also which one has longer time implications?

[@samiulhuda4001]

@@jazminehollister3967 no for things like thing you double triple check. and you are good

[@3adgamd3r]

They had to ban paternity tests in France because it was destroying family units across the country lmao, I’m pro test, but the scale of the problem is so big that France is afraid it’ll cause real damage to the economy if all the men in the country paternity tested their kids

[@laurenjohnson4566]

I agree. And if the results come back negative, the mom and or the couple should be able to get a second one to confirm. No serious suspicions until error is ruled out -hopefully at least

[@MrZuriax]

Knowingly committing paternity fraud should be a crime. Funny how the ex only spiraled after she went outside her horrid circle of friends and got a dose of reality online. I would have gone nuclear but prepped the kids beforehand. The ex, in time, can make OP out to be the bad guy so keeping her secrets will ultimately do more harm to the kids. Visiting the bio father over the years is some next level disrespect as well. She was a walking read flag from the start with so many kids from a prior relationship, but still it's really sad to see OP suffer life altering consequences for taking a chance and trusting a woman like that. Hope he can move on.

[@EluneAnzu]

For story 3: if the theory about her finding the ring and that was the reason she invited her friends he definitely needs to rethink the relationship, if one of the people in the relationship is THAT against possibly marrying someone and can't have a potentially awkward convo the relationship isn't going well. However the OP's response to the last comment makes it obvious where even if that was the case she's just selfish either way, not worth the effort. Sell the ring.

[@Schwiegermutter]

He need that in both cases

[@bhart3321]

Apparently he updated, He dumped her thankfully. Apparently she didn't know she & her friends are just entitled selfish bishes.

[@Schwiegermutter]

@@bhart3321 They will talk aboute her abusiv and controlling ex for ages.

[@beautybard]

S2: my mom lied about my dad being my bio dad for 26 years. I found out from my nana and aunt at 15 after he passed away that he wasn't. It took her over a decade to come clean, and even then, I had to pull it out of her cos I was done waiting for her to be honest. I had asked her BEFORE he passed away cos things weren't adding up, but she kept lying. It was incredibly hurtful. He will always be my dad as far as I care, I could have found out at 5 years old and still loved him just as much. It was just insulting after a certain time. Idgaf who my real dad is.. I just wish I could've told my dad that I knew and didn't care. He kept up the charade at my mom's request/intimidation. If you're a parent in a situation like this... Just tell them. No time is gonna feel like the "right" time... Sooner rather than later is best.

[@samiulhuda4001]

you dad sounds like he loved you and was good man. but he should have taken full custody and beaten the shit out of your mother.

[@keyshe491]

Story 3 has an update about what happened and op left her as she had no idea about the proposal that op was trying to do, so it's sad that she was give chance after chance to put op before her friends but didn't. I just hope op can get his things and not have to deal with anymore drama from her and her friends that wanted to be in his relationship as that's what his ex was trying to do was just make op the 3 wheel in it sadly. Op is staying with one of his friends as he works on getting things settled with the ex and his lease on the place he was staying in. Eta: Thank you all for the likes as I just was trying to help anyone that was reading well more like listening to Mark and his very nice voice. As the update for this came out after Mark posted his video.

[@KCCAT5]

Thank you I was hoping there was going to be an update to this story

[@samoanjoseph1457]

What worries me is she claimed the bio-dad has no interest in being involved with his daughter. So why, then, is she sending him pictures and taking the daughter to meet him? Unless she's lying about that, too. So for all we know he has always wanted to be involved, but she's been lying to him to keep him from doing anything more disruptive to the marriage, like trying to get custody. That's the problem with lying even once, everything you say after that is suspect.

[@shawne7228]

First story she never cared about him he was only a meal ticket to babysit her children while she went off with Chad and Tyrone every time she could. She's a terrible person. She did him so dirty it's unbelievable. At least she didn't give him an STD.

[@RockinTheBassGuitar]

Oh man. Why even marry someone if you're going to sleep around like that. And then to pass off someone else's kid as the OP'S?! That is just evil.

[@wendylee9255]

Alpha seed, Beta need. One guy gives you good loving but can't financially support you nor your children so you find a sucker to. My cousin did this and because her husband unwittingly signed the birth certificate before he found out the kid wasn't his, he was screwed. According to the law he was the legal father.

[@ronniec427]

Story 2: If OP lives in the US, the kid is 20, it's been relatively common knowledge for that long that it should not be a secret that a child is adopted, the adults in this kid's life dropped the ball.

[@stephanien6237]

Yep. They sound cowardly and all of them continuously refused to tell him the truth until the OP suddenly made the decision.

[@nareegreel]

The daughter has an idea "dad" might not be her father, if the wife has been taking her to visit bio dad. Kids aren't stupid, they know more than we give them credit for.

[@wendylee9255]

Exactly. I bet Mommy told her to keep the secret too.

[@caelum8160]

Story 1: Whenever we get stories like this it makes me wonder how long do the cheating partner plan on keeping that secret, I couldn't imagine lying to someone for 10 years like especially about cheating. Daughter also deserves to know not just because she might want to reach out to Bio dad in the future (I'm not sure why she'd want to but that her choice to make) but also in case of any potential genetic disorder or illnesses. I remember there was a story where a kid was dealing with a rare disorder and he needed his Mom to find his bio Dad so they know how to get it treated and IIRC I think it saved his life. That being said I feel so bad for OP, he seems like a good person and he and his didn't deserve that. Also did anyone else notice a sudden increase in cheating stories what's up with that 😂? Story 2: He definitely should have discussed it before doing it but the son deserved to know, those are details about his life as well. Imagine how hurt he would have felt if he found out years from now, because if they weren't going tell him at 20 years old (OP said he's almost an adult but 20 is full grown lol) when would they have told him? That conversation should have been had way earlier imo.

[@nationalsocialism3504]

Forever! That's been female reproductive strategy for millions of years before we were even humans since by at least Homo Habilius if not before the distinction between Father or Dad took on different evolutionary pressures due to extended child rearing length. There's twice as many mothers as fathers in our genetic legacy... which means that literally half the dudes that have ever lived spent their lives raising other men's kids. OP is not worth reproducing with on a genetic level... but he is worth raising other men's kids & sucking up his resources.

[@Tavora_Tiefling]

@@nationalsocialism3504 That is NOT female strategy (unless you’re talking about horses, but a mare does that so stallions won’t kill the foal). Men will keep affair babies secret too. And seeing as they aren’t the ones birthing them, it’s easier for them to hide it. Which means the affair partner is carrying this secret, too. That is plain, old, run-of-the-mill shame and guilt. Op’s wife didn’t want to be the bad guy so she kept it hidden. Divorce is the best course of action here. Btw, what are your sources for this information? It doesn’t sound completely accurate, especially considering the centuries (but not last few decades) of religion and men enforcing the fear of punishment if infidelity occurs.

[@nationalsocialism3504]

@@Tavora_Tiefling twice as many mothers as fathers in our genetic genome proves that to be true... women's bodies evolved to get pregnant by someone "not their mate" & men's bodies have evolved biological as well as physiological reactions in attempts to counter that fact. Evolutionary pressure made it advantageous for women to be Amoral Savages... Men had to leave Darwinian Evolutionary modeling by creating Civilizational Morality as our Evolutionary modeling, the "Patriarchy" is male biological imperative. Every civilization is predicated upon Male Morality being imposed upon Female Amorality and oppressing female nature into the unnatural condition of females into monogamy.

[@Dreamdancer11]

When i hear stories like the first one...iam always suprised how those men manage to escape jail time......

[@samiulhuda4001]

@@Tavora_Tiefling that is the female reproductive strategy thats why virgin marriage was a thing and thats why men dont like s*uts

[@matthewuzulis5016]

S3 UPDATE: He broke up with her, had important stuff packed before she got back and spoke with her when she got back. She had no clue about the proposal and was in fact planning to propose to him on his birthday if he did not do so before hand. She comes across just incredibly oblivious and not intentionally callous by OP. EDA: update was posted about 1H before Mark's video dropped, no way to change it in time.

[@randomusername3873]

Saying that a victim of paternity fraud should stay for the children is like saying that a person should financially help someone stealing from him for years because "the thief used your money to provide for his children"

[@LayfonDragnia]

Relationships are strong when they are built with trust. The wife betrayed and sundered the foundation of the relationship. Edit: wow, she was still keeping the bio dad in the circle. Op is a better person then me.

[@OtakuWrath]

It's insulting to expect this man to end his entire life for children that aren't his. It's not really "being a good man" to take responsible for a bunch of kids that have no relation to you, He didn't adopt them, He was lied to and she knew who the father was before the baby was even born which does mean it was fraud. She knowingly lied to him about being the dad and under this lie he agreed to be the kids father. I doubt she'd be able to get child support from him because of the lie even if he did take responsibility for the baby it was all because of a lie she told him and he never actually agreed as he never knew the truth and her friends even knew the truth. He should dump the whole damn family in the trash and work to gain a family that actually loves him. This guy is throwing his life away and he doesn't even have a biological kid involved. I get that he doesn't want to hurt the innocent kids but he was lied to for way too long. The only reason he even has as much of a connection with the kids as he does is because of the lie. She should be left alone to pick up the pieces of her broken life. Any court that would force him to take responsibility for these kids when the relationship was based on a lie he was told is an awful court and I'd fight it in multiple courts if need be. It's not like adoption where he should love the kids regardless of his biological relation to them, he was lied to. If he stays, he WILL go through the teen years where the chance of these kids pulling out the "You're not my real dad!" when they're angry is high and he has no biological children in this family to be on his side or to fall back on mentally, It will hurt a lot to hear and he'll realize he's been raising a bunch of kids that likely won't ever respect him as dad.

[@LayfonDragnia]

@@OtakuWrath I mean I agree only partially. I understand that he was lied to but whether he is related or not is not important to everyone. I have a decently sized biological family, yet a good chunk of them are horrible people to me. The people I consider true family are mostly not biologically related. He values the relationship he has with the children and the wife NEEDS to face repercussions. However, hurting the children who had no say is unjustly cruel.

[@LayfonDragnia]

@LlEUCU. BEAU× Where did I say that? The wife should face repercussions but if Op wants to not dump the family in the trash that is up to him and is strong person because of it. He should divorce but it doesn’t mean he should dump the children as well.

[@randomusername3873]

I won't call Op a better person, there's nothing good in letting yourself be treated like that. It's not actually healty or mature, those things shouldn't be celebrated

[@LayfonDragnia]

@@randomusername3873 I would like to clarify. When I say he is a better person, I am referring to him not going nuclear. Op deserves better for sure.

[@GLoLChibs]

Mandatory paternity testing at birth would save so many headaches and also alleviate a lot of the men that get the sudden "I need to be sure!" wild hair when baby is born. Society downplays the abrupt emotional and psychological change fathers go through as well and villainize them for having a response they really have no control over.

[@johnowen9349]

Story 1: Your relationship with your wife is done, the whole thing about love is that it's basically just an advanced version of trust and you know for a fact that you can't trust this person. She only picked you because the father wanted nothing to do with the kid. She told you, when you found out, her want of it not blowing up in her face is about the situation she has and not your place in it. "Don't destroy what we've built." When people tell you who they are, believe them. She just told you she's only interested in what she has and not your comfort in it.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

The AP can want nothing to do with the child, but child support is not to be excluded. Has any been paid on the side? The wife is a total AH.

[@Kris-wo4pj]

If he's on the birth certificate that's his daughter in the eyes of the law. The bio dad would have an up hill fight getting him off if he doesn't wanna be. So he could get full custody or at least 50/50

[@AndyyWithAY]

Sarah is the type of extrovert I despise. A romantic trip away sounds wonderful. And she invites additional people without even asking. Sarah is so rude and inconsiderate. If I were OP I'd break up. Edit: this was an ANNIVERSARY trip? This heifer will invite 5 friends to the honeymoon and act like OP is wrong to want alone time.

[@carolroberts4614]

Hope it doesn't get that far! But I think she guessed and didn't want him to propose, or she's just monumentally selfish, and just rides roughshod over op!

[@GLoLChibs]

Betting Sarah found out about the proposal and just wanted an audience.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@GLoLChibs Yeah. Sounds about right. Because people like Sarah just love the attention.

[@thatjeff7550]

@@GLoLChibs nope, according to others posting commentary, Sarah didn't know about the proposal and was most likely using OP as an ATM to pay for friends' vacay with her. And OP realized she'd done this plenty of times in the past (ignoring him while partying with friends) so he told her about the interrupted proposal and then broke up with her. Nice shade there.

[@BerryTrekkin]

Story 3: Just so you know Mark, OP has just posted an update a couple of hours ago. I won't put spoilers in case you plan to put it in a future video.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

please reply to my comment with spoilers, I'm not on Reddit

[@SalimDoodles]

can you put the link here? i'm interested

[@BerryTrekkin]

@@Aaron-kj8dv SPOILERS He’s broken up with her. She came back and they spoke about it. She didn’t think she did anything wrong and didn’t know he was planning to propose, she just thought her friends should come as they’d spoken about a similar vacation for a while and the friends had never been to CO. There’s apparently a history of her prioritising her friends over him and despite talking about it before and her promising to change, she never does. She’s been begging to fix it and promising to change but he’s done with her.

[@karend4160]

Story 3: As you were reading, my first thought was “She is doing it to avoid a proposal.” It really sounded like she wanted to avoid spending time alone with him, unfortunately.

[@JohnnyDominion]

Story 1: That is some evil stuff right there. Paternity fraud is one of the worst things that can happen to a man. You have been cucked, you have been humiliated, you have tricked into fatherhood, and your happiness is built on a lie. I would leave and see if I can sue my ex for it.

[@alg94]

im so glad that unless there's a switcheroo at the hospital I will never have to worry about if my kids are mine or not. and no surprise babies either. I feel for you men story 2: my cousin wanted to keep the adoption secret from her daughter. everyone told her that was a bad idea because she is whiter than mayonnaise and her daughter is 100% Chinese

[@magoichi75]

Nothing like hearing stories like story 1 to remind me that marriage is all but a scam, love is nothing more than a joke and frankly I'm better off as a hermit given the fact it's so easy for a man to get roped into caring for another man's child

[@mr_graves_]

I was fully on board with this until I met my person, but I'm still of the opinion that marriage is a scam. We stay together mainly because we enjoy each other's company, but still maintain different jobs, separate finances, and different friends. It works for us because we like the space and alone time, but also like to have each other to come home to at the end of the day. I suppose the point I'm trying to make here is that marriage legally binds you together, and divorce comes with so much chaos and stress that even chronically unhappy couples avoid it at all costs. But if you don't get married and keep finances separate, then the only thing binding you to each other is the enjoyment of each other's company. You KNOW that person wants to stay, because there's absolutely nothing stopping them from leaving. It brings my mind peace frankly, because even if per chance we squabble on occasion, if they're still here when I get home I can sleep easy knowing they must not be sick of my ugly mug just yet. Just something to consider... perhaps if the basic relationship dynamic isn't working for you, don't be afraid to find someone willing to change it up a bit. Not all relationships are structured the same, because different options work best for many, many different people.

[@thatjeff7550]

I'm sorry to hear you feel that way. I don't know if it's the younger generation or what but my wife & I were happily married for 25 years and had two great daughters. It only ended when she died from breast cancer four years ago and I still miss her. Not everyone is as shallow as some of these stories.

[@Voodoomaria]

Story #3 When GF is due to arrive home, OP needs to sit in their living room, with the open jewel box and ring sitting on the coffee table in front of him. DO NOT SPEAK TO HER. Let her see the ring, and do the math. [Don't let her pick it up]. When he sees the little light go on over her head, CLOSE THE BOX, put it in his pocket, then walk out. Do not respond to ANY communications from her OR her friends that are not an abject and unqualified apology. Finally, KEEP marriage off the table until she proves to him that HE comes BEFORE her friend group, otherwise there can NEVER be a happy marriage.

[@kristinewatson3702]

Always, always ALWAYS tell your adopted child they are adopted from the get go. I was adopted and always knew. Mom talked about my adoption day like other moms tell stories of the birth. I have a picture of the moment they got me. Its a beautiful moment I cherish. I see my family as my real family. I know how wanted I was. Every adopted friend I know that found out as older kids or worse by accident have had major issues surrounding being adopted.

[@stephanien6237]

We celebrate my godson’s “gotcha day”! It’s awesome!

[@Hazey4420]

I listen everyday while making dinner. Mark saying CO is the Colorado? My 10 yr old from the table doing homework "yes Mark good job. He isn't even American mom." Thanks for the extra laughs today

[@fhuber7507]

2... The kid should have known sooner. It's that simple. The longer the lie is continued, the more damage when the truth is revealed.

[@JasperCatProductions]

So now you know not to get married to someone whose friends matter more then you. This is excellent, saved you a lifetime of second fiddle.

[@arsalanali2312]

This is why paternity dna test should be mandatory

[@Foxleaxer1981]

But it’s misogynistic if men ask for it.

[@vincentender1486]

Something built on a foundation of lies is bound to crumble one way or another.

[@sherrygibbs7547]

Possible scenarios: Option 1: She expected a proposal, and wanted her friends there, to witness/share in the experience? Not realizing she was taking the intimacy of the moment, away from OP. Option 2: She brought her friends in the hopes of shutting down any proposal? Option 3: She does not feel comfortable away from home alone with OP or she finds time alone with OP boring? An engagement may not be a good idea at this time. OP definitely has to have another discussion w/the SO. Hopefully OP may come back with an update.

[@sologrim3981]

It breaks my heart knowing people can be this cruel… good luck OP

[@Tammohawk1]

My younger son has a friend that he has known since kindergarten. When this friend started school, he had his moms last name. Then she married and was going by her married name. We also assumed he knew that his step father wasn't his bio dad. Well, one day when he was a teenager, he was at my house and I said something about it. Turned out he didn't know. I had worked with his grandmother also. No one had said anything to us about this. I felt horrible. Just awful. But how was I to know that he didn't know? His name changed when he was 7, one would think a kid might remember that.

[@gcarr1089]

Story 1 - the ex won't let OP anywhere near the kids after the divorce. OP needs to move on or try and get the courts to give him access.

[@greywolf1]

Story 2: Aunt Mommy? Uncle Daddy? Can I have an allowance?

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: "She wants me to move past her indiscretions and stay together, saying what we have built since is strong." Filed under: How nice for her. Also, what you have built since is NOT strong, because it was built on a foundation of lies. "Her father has/had no intention of being a part of her life." Translation: "I told my REAL boyfriend and he didn't want to step up, so I chose the stable option." S2: You all agreed to tell him "When he was old enough to understand." That came and went, and now you have lied to him his entire life. He IS an adult, and you just kept your word. The other two can be mad, but they're the ones that didn't keep to the agreement. That said, you should have discussed this before making an executive decision, and then, if they still dragged their feet, told him. I can understand them feeling you went behind their backs and blindsided them.

[@jusminejustice2794]

I feel bad for the kid too, She had been lied her whole life about who her father is.

[@benbraden9133]

Story 1: horrific circumstances, can’t hurt the person that did this to you without traumatising an innocent little girl. So in that sense the wife gets to get away with it for a few years until teenager/adult can be told. Needing in a sense to keep it bottled up and never having a right time to tell her and potentially having that relationship ruined when the truth comes out. I couldn’t imagine it all.

[@crazyminegamer2339]

Why do parents never start with honesty about a situation - especially in cases like the one in story 2? The kids won’t care if the situation isn’t treated weirdly.

[@hughg.rection1421]

It's stories like the first one that just destroys my faith in people as a whole and kills any interest in getting into a relationship. The emotional and financial risks just aren't worth it, man.

[@NotAFanOfHandles]

Story 2 - Always, always, _always_ tell the kids they're adopted _right from the start._ Frame it as "we loved you, wanted the best for you, but knew we couldn't give you the life you deserved so we turned to someone who could," and "we love you and chose you to be a part of our lives and you being a part of our family has made life so much richer and happier." Adoption advocacy groups have been telling families for decades now to be honest with the kids from the very beginning.

[@roelthas]

No one with actual self-respect could stay with a cheater.

[@STB-jh7od]

He needs to inform wife's friends' BFs/husbands that they hid/enabled wife's affair. Story 2: kid should have been told he's adopted since he was pre-school. Told about parents not long after. I'm adopted and it was encouraged for adopted kids to know early on so we could just accept it. Story 3: Give ring back.

[@jessicamarsh9779]

10:41 Best idea EVER! My husbands step dad did this. They bought 2 cars that were the same (this was years ago). Each car had parts that worked & parts that didn’t. He told my husband “You want a car, here you go. You pick which one you want to drive, whichever reason, rather if it’s less of headache to fix or one is in better condition Idc, just pick one. Take the parts you need off the other & replace them on the one you want to drive. It’s all on you, I won’t even pick up a wrench but I’ll talk you through anything you need help with & tell you how to fix it, your doing 100% of the labor.” Every night they were out there working on it. My father in law didn’t touch one wrench but he did touch the pulley when my husband needed help pulling the motor out, he was 16. Im so thankful for that life lesson. My husband does 85% of our repairs, oil changes, breaks, rotate tires etc. he can swap out an alternator in less then 45 min 😂

[@AngharadMac]

Last story: she probably knew and wanted her friends there to "secretly" record the proposal. Maybe for posterity or social media kudos or to humiliate him with a refusal. But, for which ever reason, she brought her friends to interfere with the vacation/proposal

[@Khaisz.]

Last story: I think she found the ring and wanted her friends as witnesses, and that's why she constantly was close to them. This sadly backfired for her. Gonna look forward to OPs update he promised to post either today or tomorrow regardless of the outcome of his talk with GF.

[@rylashadow18]

S1) Let me first say I'm sorry you and the little one were put in this scenario. You're allowed to feel hurt, betrayed, to take time to plan on what you wanna do and if you want to stay involved. No one can tell you what to do and what you choose is entirely up to you. Don't hide this from her either cause the little one has every right to know the truth once they're old enough to understand. It honestly up to you OP. If you feel you can't take any of it that's perfectly fine no one could ever blame you. If being there for those kids as a responsible adult means more to you that perfectly fine no one can blame you. You get to choose your path forward and who you welcome to walk it with you. S2) He had a right to know. You all made a deal to tell him when he was old enough. 20 is plenty old enough. They're all upset that you told him the truth when all they wanted to do was sit on their hands on this. What would they of done if there was a medical emergency and neither of the parents who raised him was a match but you or wife were? S3) She disrespected the relationship. I'd seriously leave someone who'd do such a thing to me. She knew explicitively that this was a couples getaway and invited her friends. Now that she got caught in 4k for treating OP like a ATM I hope he sees her as the red flag monster she is and leave her to his past. When you do leave her tell her the potential of having a future together was made redundantly clear the moment she allowed her friends to disrespect your relationship. If she's allowing this disrespect with her friends what else is she doing that's also disrespectful to the relationship you no idea about? Like cheating for example.

[@nicknitro86]

If you can 'get past infidelity' and stayed married then you deserve to get cheated on.

[@ItsYaBoiV]

Story 1 Wife had no intention of confessing, either. If friend hadn't grown a conscience, OP may have never known!

[@sophdog2564]

I was so mad when that last one didn't have an update. Then I opened up Reddit and the first thing in my feed was the update. They broke up, she didn't know he was going to propose and begged him for another chance, but he still left.

[@justKorppi]

I was 19 when I found out I was adopted. They were NEVER planning on telling me. The only reason they did was mom went into a cancer scare doctor appointment and watched me rattle off *not* my familial medical history and she was feeling guilty. It really messed me up regarding trust and my family. I love them, but trust was ruined. More than 20 years later, I still have issues there

[@ElleD308]

20 years and you haven't told him?!!!! Wtf people 😨🤦🏻‍♀️ you tell them when they are kids, not when they have been living 20 freaking years of lies thinking it's all cool.

[@krystalfloods6197]

I’ll never understand why laws are the way they are. Any woman that lies about paternity should be charged and sent to prison. She should have to pay back all of that money, and the guy should never be forced to pay child support for kid that is not his.

[@susanlosey9511]

My cousin knew from the time she was an infant that she was adopted. That was her favorite bedtime story.

[@alexandermccalla5098]

“Op kindly updates their post and says…” advertisement plays: “nothing” Lol what timing

[@KarmikCykle]

Story 2: If they kept stalling until he was already 20 and were still stalling, then they were NEVER going to tell him. Also, I never got the "keep adoption a secret" thing, I've known I was adopted for as long as I can remember. I have friends who are adopted and friends who have adopted, and it's never been a secret, nor has knowing caused any problems.

[@LittleCatVoice]

on the last story: whether she found the ring or not, I do suspect that she knew the plan to propose and was either actively or subconsciously trying to prevent it. I hope that OP sees that their relationship is probably not going to go any further and breaks up with her.

[@hoper1294]

Mark! What are your thoughts on a second channel or even a day of the week dedicated to your own stories? Maybe you can call it Mark's Storytime or Mark Waffle Talk or something haha That "fake eye on the wedding xake" quip was evil to just not elaborate on lmao and since you're writing a list of your own stories, I think it could be cool. Maybe also use that to read fan stories from your sub reddit :)

[@sophdog2564]

I love it when he spins off into his own stories. It's awesome to hear and makes it worth listening to some of the stories I've already heard on other channels to hear his input

[@CouncilEstateRach]

​@@sophdog2564me 3

[@jeancarbonneau6966]

In my case, referencing to story 1, I have that same problem. A woman I was with told me I was a father to her son. She pushed this idea for the longest time. Nearly 18 years later, she told me that he wasn't my son. I no longer talk to her or deal with her. The boy will be 23 in June this year. I never raised him and was only part of his life for his first 2 years. He was put up for adoption back then because I had too many medical problems at the time to take care of him. His mother was unstable at the time.

[@fyoutube9410]

This is why you always require a paternity test, and you make that clear before any conception happens.

[@datmanydocris]

Story 2: It's unbelievable that OP thinks he was the one being selfish by telling his bio son that he was his dad. No, the selfish people are OP's wife and the sister. They were being selfish by refusing to tell a _20 year old man_ that he was adopted because they knew damn well it would make him angry at them for keeping that secret for so long.

[@chinangel]

Story 2: I am also adopted and was told by my adoptive sisters during a fight, needless to say that fucked me up.

[@stevekerrigan6546]

Story 3: apparently OPs GF didnt know anything about the proposal and invited her friends cause they havent been to where they were going lol either way if told its a romantic trip for 2 should of been obvious to oh i dunno NOT INVITE THAT FRIENDS since reading the update all i can say is good luck to OP 🙂

[@SpiderRiderKya]

Story 2: 'he's almost a grown adult' He's 20!! He IS an adult OP wtf??? He's not almost an adult he IS an adult. He's been an adult, legally, for several years!

[@queencars802]

I was thinking more of she found out about the proposal and wanted her friends there to witness it and celebrate but avoiding it is a good take. Very disrespectful of them all

[@builtontherockhomestead9390]

Last story: break up time. OP should just dump her and move on. When she cries, he should tell her "I was going to propose but you made it clear I mean nothing to you. Your friends come first so bye".

[@caroljo420]

Don't wait to tell him the truth. When I was pregnant out-of-wedlock, suggested that my brother and his wife adopt him. But my sister-in-law said I could NEVER tell him the truth. That was the deal breaker. I kept him and never once did I regret it! When he asked about his dad at age 9, I told him the truth; that his dad beat me up because I didn't want to get an abortion. Because of the fact that I never lied to him or withheld the truth, we are very close to this day! Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy!!!

[@shellchenonceau6987]

OMG: story 3...please dodge a big bullet by breaking up. You have only ever been the nice doormat she wipes her feet on.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Sarah finding the ring is an interesting theory. I won't hedge bets one way or another, I just hope this opened OP's eyes and he doesn't marry her. She's choosing her friends over him, that won't change with marriage

[@hollowkid97]

Mark has to give you a shout out or something. You're his number 1 fan by far

[@danielqueiroz4235]

There was an update, she said she didn't know about the proposal and OP dumped her

[@SecondAccountMP666]

story 2: there's an update from 15 hours ago: OP is leaving.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I thought the son was underage and I was going to say it was slightly AHish to not talk to his sister first. But if the son is 20, then that's fine.

[@cheekyftoro8962]

Have to disagree it is never the birth parents right to tell an adopted child they are adopted they give up any rights to that child when they abandon it. The mother messed up by not telling the son but its not ops right to tell him he is not the parent. As much as op is trying to claim it was for the son if you look close at the story you can tell it was all about him.

[@sherylsnell-massie3801]

I think a lot of people don't understand he would have ZERO rights to his step-children.....that adds a huge complication

[@sherylsnell-massie3801]

and he could lose all rights to the child he thought was his

[@evavocative6975]

Story One: "What we've built together is strong." No... what they've built together is based on HER lies.

[@anonymousinternetperson]

*sighs* You know what. I've heard so many different stories of people cheating and lying to their spouses and usually what comes to mind is WHY?!?!?! WHY DID YOU CHEAT!?!?!? But you know what I don't care anymore, I've lost so much faith in humanity over the years...I'm done!

[@Allmightyimortal]

Story 3 has an update. He broke things off with her. Also said the vacation got awkward between her and her two friends after he left.

[@maez4718]

Children need to know. An older cousin of mine found out through Ancestry DNA that the man who she thought was her father, wasn't. It was a grand, and very shocking, unveiling of a whole pack of relatives she didn't know existed, including half siblings. The truth was very sordid and disturbing and she also discovered that there were certain people in the community who had known all along. She felt like her identity was wiped out and the feelings of sadness and betrayal were significant. My aunt had died by this time, so she couldn't question her about it, but she has slowly bonded with her new half siblings. It was incredibly hard to learn the truth for her, she was 70 when it happene. As tough as that conversation would be, children need to know.

[@macylouwho1187]

This is the reason why paternity tests should be done at the hospital. Raising a baby that isn’t yours should be a choice, not forced.

[@jeancarbonneau6966]

In story 3, OP isn't the asshole here. I saw this story on Reddit Brew yesterday. There is an update to the story where OP dumps his girlfriend and tells her about his plan to propose to her. In the end, she didn't care about it.

[@natnuss98]

Two of my cousin's are adopted. They've know the age appropriate version of their adoptions ever since like 3 or 4 y.o. they have even meet their Bio mom's as far as I'm aware. To them they were just some women/aunties. The real parents were always there for them and they were honest and that's a big part of it.

[@91Romeo]

People always say it isn’t child’s fault. Well neither is the parent who got screwed over. Divorce and slowly break off contact with the child. Let her father get hit it up for child support.

[@wildwikedwanderer1208]

Story 1: ANOTHER PRIME EXAMPLE OF WHY PATERNITY TESTS SHOULD BE MANDATORY!!! Wish wife could be sent to jail but tricking a man isn’t illegal