My Brother Is Marrying My Ex And Invited Me To The Wedding r/Relationships

[@Russman67]

Story 1: The brother and ex-girlfriend betrayed OP In the most heinous way. This seems like the brother trying to work his guilt out with the invitation to their wedding. Nope. Go somewhere fun on that day. No need to cast yourself back into their drama.

[@Sherwoody]

I had an acquaintance that made “The Switch”. Not only were they roommates, they were sisters. The marriage didn’t last.

[@Batman-lg2zj]

Not really heinous but it’s just an act of betrayal.

[@Russman67]

@@Batman-lg2zj When you add in the part where OP raised him, that cuts a lot deeper than any guy breaking Bro code.

[@recycledapathy7411]

I'm petty but I'd send them a wedding gift, all wrapped up in pretty paper and bows. Full of natural fertilizer, preferably from a hog farm.

[@VorenusXIII]

I disagree. OP should definitely go to the wedding. And when the priest tells the audience "speak now or forever hold your peace". That's when OP should stand up and shout, "I OBJECT! Those two are lying, cheating WHORES!" I don't know why more people don't object at the weddings of lying cheaters. That's what the tradition is for.

[@ArthropodJay]

the ex is bad for cheating, but the brother is even worse IMO because he was raised by OP, and to betray him like that and cause him that much distress is disgusting.

[@DiabolicGoth]

Just goes to show the brother didn't actually care.

[@eye-chan1711]

I don’t know if this is just me being aromatic or something, but I can never understand choosing a romantic relationship like this at the cost of other relationships(partner over child/siblings, etc)… I really hope EX cheats on brother tbh.

[@DiabolicGoth]

@@eye-chan1711 I secretly want this too 😶‍🌫️

[@marshawargo7238]

OP is way better than me! I'd have sent him a $100 gift card for a divorce lawyer, because "cheaters are cheaters & she'll find someone who effs better than you"😊 OP's response to not respond is best!

[@randomusername3873]

​@@eye-chan1711to be fair, someone saying that they'd rather have the relationship with the GF than with the brother would be more respectable than those people, that pretend they are sorry

[@randomusername3873]

Cheaters invite their victim at their wedding for two reasons 1) They want to throw their relationship in his face once again, because they enjoy seeing him suffer 2) They want the rest of the guests to see the victim is supportive and not look bad I'll never understand how people can even consider going (unless is to ruin the wedding)

[@CainEverest]

Or 3) (and this is being charitable) The two actually do feel awful and want to try to bridge the gap in a manner that they see as good but its really not. Either way, OP doesnt have to do shit for them

[@TriciaT2407]

FACTS!!!

[@AA-ed6ek]

@@CainEverest If they felt bad they wouldn't continue being with the person. Cut the crap.

[@ps9501]

OP's brother will do "anything" so that he forgives?.. except stop sleeping with OP's trash ex lmao. Genius plan and effort

[@thetruth1816]

"I will do anything not to hurt you except stop stabbing you " op brother...

[@AndyyWithAY]

The fact that the brother was going to marry Melissa shows he hasn't changed. He wouldn't be owed forgiveness either way, but that makes it obvious

[@pequenaesposa3286]

Yeah blame a teenager for being groomed ok💀

[@daphneebrisson7449]

​@pequenaesposa3286 What teenager? Even if we say OP met Melissa 12 years ago, the brother was 21. He's an adult at this point, and he should be held accountable.

[@AndyyWithAY]

@pequenaesposa3286 Melissa is literally 2 years older than the brother. OP dated her 10 years ago, so at the start the brother was 23 AKA a grown ass man. But please cry grooming

[@A_Borden_History]

@@pequenaesposa3286Stop crying “Omg he was groomed” he was in his fucking 20s, He knew what he did and so did she

[@samoanjoseph1457]

Honestly the marriage part doesn't bother me so much. If my brother threw our relationship away for a fling I'd be super pissed. But if he did it for someone he intends to marry, that's... a little better I guess. Even if it meant that person would become a fixture and harder to avoid. The idiot part is expecting OP to attend. You want to get married, leave me out of it.

[@somethingelse4204]

Story 1: Sex is something two people do together. That ninny woman saying OP was "bad at sex" was tattling on herself. If you do not communicate with your partner and give them a chance to learn with you to please you, you deserve whatever lukewarm nonsense you get. The only way that someone can be genuinely bad at sex is if they are selfish and uncaring and unwilling to listen.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

I think the sex with brother was only better because it was exciting for her to do behind OP's back and a beginning relationship vs. the relationship with OP which was already going for years.

[@eleethtahgra7182]

​@@Nathan_Bookwurmlol, yup. Its a cheating seks. Of course its exciting. Its as exciting as injecting krokodil.

[@eleethtahgra7182]

Of course hes bad. No one guy could compete with multiple D.

[@Kairos_Akuma]

@@Nathan_Bookwurm That or they just made Love differently... which again goes back to OPs "Talk to each other" Post.. If something doesnt please you, you work together to find a way to get the most out of it (within each others boundaries) or you leave proper if you think your THAT incompatible in your lovelife.

[@HaleyJo1992]

Indeed. She can't complain about sex she herself isn't working to improve. How the hell was OP supposed to know?

[@BacklitRabbit]

Story one: "The day I said he was dead to me, he had a panic attack." Good.

[@PinkMarshmallows]

Story 1: That poor OP. I'm VERY glad that Melissa got what she deserved, she needs to suffer, and she only came back because she needed a "daddy" for her child, and she though that OP or his brother would be a good daddy.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

And almost tricked the brother to marry her to ensure stability for her and her child.

[@Tammohawk1]

For a sibling to have an affair with your partner is one of the worst betrayals possible. And after that there is no coming back. For the brother to invite OP to his wedding is beyond repulsive to me. My sister had a boyfriend who would flirt with me outrageously. It disgusted me and I couldn't stand him for it. You can't spoil a baby by holding it "too much". Quite the opposite. You are giving them love and comfort.

[@joshJC99]

Story 1: I don’t know about anyone else but I am LOVING OP’s new wife. Everything she has told him regarding this situation was spot on. No romanticized notions of bringing a family back together etc etc

[@immapotato1]

the brother's email sounds like he's shifting the consequences of his shitty actions on to OP for leaving and trying to guilt trip him.

[@carlrood4457]

I write this every time there's a story about siblings/best friends cheating with spouse. The two people have shown themselves to be completely untrustworthy. If they can do that, then there's no one they wouldn't betray. It's literally the easiest boundary to not stomp on.

[@atty7697]

What are you talking about. That is the very description of betrayal. Two people you trust violate your trust.

[@belalugosisdead4444]

​@@atty7697 the og commenter never said that. You sound delusional

[@gostavoadolfos2023]

Like seriously! They are acting like if there is a shortage of dicks and pussyies in this world! The only explanation is that the sibling/BFF are trying to hurt the other side out of hatred.

[@ProfXraig]

Wow. Little brother really screwed over his adopted father. Yes, I know what I said, well, they may have started off as brothers, 0P basically had to become the adoptive parent. That betrayal stings farm more than I could ever imagine.

[@whitneybennett4857]

And it really pisses me off when a family member betrays you to this degree and then come back with that, "I never meant to hurt you," bs. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HURT THEM, HOW ABOUT YOU JUST KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF AROUND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHER!!!

[@MrH347]

Story 1: he made his bed now he can sleep in it. Brother lost everything and just wants it back. Same with that ex. A bunch of losers. Brother wants his security again along with validation. OP is doing well thays the only thing that matters.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: Will never understand people who sleep with their sibling's partner/partner's sibling and then _invite them to the wedding_ as if you didn't ruin their life to a point they almost k*lled themselves. How did you think that would go??? "It's justified because he's better in bed" then me punching you is also justified because you're better than a regular punching bag. If you're _so_ unhappy that you have a whole ass affair instead of _talking about it_ like an _adult_ then don't go crying to others when you face the inevitable consequences 💞🥰 like me breaking your nose 💞🥰 "I didn’t want to hurt you" then you should have kept it in your pants Edit: "I'll never forgive myself for doing wrong" And yet... you're _marrying her._

[@eye-chan1711]

Not just marring her… trying to turn their marriage into some reconciliation play. Really trying to twist the knife in.

[@randomusername3873]

I'm geniunely convinced that on some level they enjoy causing pain to the person they are cheating on It's either the wedding invite, or trying to get back together when the ex finds a partner, or stuff like that

[@TheIronwil]

Finally a boss-level response to betrayal. I’m so sick of stories where everyone wants the betrayed person to “be the bigger person”. That translates from BS into truth as “We want everything to go back to normal so we aren’t uncomfortable - so forgive and forget!” No way. Not for something of this magnitude.

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

OP... If you ever read this.. You worried you weren't good enough for your ex, but in reality, you were TOO good for her. 🖤

[@CatLoverX74]

Had the audacity to send him a wedding invite after he knew his brother almost committed suicide over his betrayal! Him whining that he’ll do whatever it takes for forgiveness is for HIMSELF! He wants to no longer carry the guilt around. But the second his brother would give it he’d be back with Melissa. She deserved getting cheated on. Getting a taste of her own medicine. What? He was justified in cheating on you the other girl was better in bed than you 😂 I’m glad OP found someone who loves him completely. I hope he has a wonderful life with her and his baby girl 😊 You could tell she already has him wrapped around her finger 😂 Have a beautiful life OP it’s the best revenge in the world 😉 Although karma and pettiness doesn’t hurt 😆

[@McAnik-uo1ol]

Brother admits that OP was always the capable one and he was jealous. Could it be that he needs his capable big brother back because he is a failure (like Melissa) without him?

[@malayshamorgan3918]

The brother clearly doesn’t know what he wants because he’s not even willing to go through with the wedding unless ops there. Which tells you that he and your ex aren’t doing this because they “love” eachother but that they don’t want to face the reality that the decision they’ve made meant absolutely nothing in the end

[@littleylvis]

Last story: I haven't experienced a situation like that but something else that was even worse for me at that time. My dad was in the ICU for covid and many of his "female friends" were contacting me about his condition. They chose the youngest of his children to ask her about her dying father while knowing these women had slept with him hundreds of times, especially when he was still married to my mother. This is sadly only the tip of the iceberg of the 💩storm that happened before and after his death so I was so angry I couldn't mourn him. Still to this day I can't really mourn his passing, only mourn that he chose women instead of a healthy relationship with his daughter.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Yikes! That's aweful! I'm so sorry your dad and these women did this to you. 😢 Some people are so selfish

[@littleylvis]

@@Nathan_Bookwurm Thanks, thankfully it's a closed chapter in my life. Now I can kind of laugh about all the "dating accounts" and other subscriptions he had that I had to cancel because it really was a f**ked up situation. As revenge I told my half siblings about all the gory details I found since they didn't wanna do my job. 😂

[@Azulakayes]

Gosh...every comment about the last story is gut-wrenching. My goodness, I am so sorry about all that heartbreak you are feeling/felt. You were allowed to be angry...be angry, cry, rant do all that. Just because he is dead doesn't mean everything gets washed away. One day you will be okay and you will realise that it is okay to feel how you feel and you will learn how to live with it. I am glad that you are doing well though and you are at peace.

[@mogulmade]

Story 1: He and Melissa have had no peace since, and I LOVE IT 🙃 Single mom who keeps going back to the only fool who will have her. OP needs to be done with that dumpsterfire.

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 1: If you do not want to attend the wedding, then don't. I am glad that your new partner is helping you with this, and that she has your back. When the two of you get married, do not tell your brother, and do not send them an invite. Both of them are back-stabbers, and I have a gut feeling that there will be drama if either brother attends the other's wedding. Edit after update: Congratulations to you and your wife on bringing your female bundle of joy into the family.

[@iononcantomascrivo]

The last story: I have absolutely experienced someone turning the death of one of my loved ones into a story about themselves. For clarity, this is about a former friend of mine. Let's call her Kelly. Kelly was the most selfish, mean-spirited, insecure, stuck-up jealous, spiteful person I've ever met. Not counting my stepmom. The only quality Kelly and my stepmom don't have in common is that Kelly, tragically, is still alive. Kelly would turn everything that happened into a story about herself. She had a compulsive need to always be in the spotlight. I refer to her as an attention junkie. She even went as far as lying about being violated by one of her older brothers when she was a little girl and being beaten by her stepmom. She also claimed to have been a cancer survivor. I later talked to one of her sisters and she completely refuted all of these claims. Her sister said, and I quote: “Kelly has been a liar since she could talk.” Kelly also loved to play the victim. Quite honestly, she played the victim so well, I'm surprised she didn't carry around her own crime scene tape and body chalk. As Mark would say I'm going off on one here so here's the story. My father and I did not have a good relationship. It wasn't just the typical father-son angst. He just didn't like me. I'm the middle of three boys and I was the stereotypical unseen middle child. I was just a background player in the movie that was my family and my brothers were the stars. The only time I even popped up on his radar was after my older brother went to prison and my younger brother was discovered to have a horrible narcotics addiction. Shortly after the revelation of me coming out of the closet, my father learned he had stage-four lung cancer and didn't have much time to live. Sure, he ended up on chemo and radiation treatment but it didn't do much but prolong the inevitable. Kelly used to call around-the-clock claiming she wanted to see ’how I was doing.’ Initially it felt like she really cared, but all she ended up doing was slowly dominating every one of those conversations to talk about her favorite subject: herself. It was always about her unhappy marriage, her disrespectful children, her money problems and her overall dissatisfaction with the laughable existence she referred to as a life. When my father died, the first person I called was Kelly. I was hoping beyond hope that she wouldn't try to make my father's death into her moment. I paused after telling her he had died. She took advantage of the break in conversation just to start rattling about herself. I'd had it with her. I lost it. I yelled at her, asking: “What part of my father died today don't you understand? What is your malfunction?” Kelly was stunned into silence and completely aghast that anyone would dare put her in her place. She huffed then blurted out something I didn't think she had the nerve to say. Kelly: "Well, you two never got along anyway!” It was like a baseball bat hit me across my chest. That was low even for her. Just when I thought she couldn't sink any lower, she went and found a sub-basement. I cursed her out and I ended the call. She spam called me, texted, private messaged me and even tried a few emails. I did not respond. I did make a cryptic post detailing what had happened but not calling her out by name. The amount of people who showed their support and telling me that I would do well to cut that person off completely was staggering. Naturally, Kelly had to jump in and act like she wasn't the guilty party. I deleted each and every one of her comments plus the e-sympathy card she posted to my timeline. It didn't take much for our mutual friends to realize that she was the heartless person I had ranted about. It's worth pointing out, they already knew what she was like. I later heard she not only got shamed by her own then-teenaged daughter but by her husband as well for being so cruel. She wrote me this grammatically incorrect, typo-filled wall of text apology. I left her on read but didn't respond and I knew it would drive her nuts. Then I responded about a day and a half later telling her that I didn't care about any forced non-apology she had to say. I told her that until she realized that she wasn't the center of the universe, I didn't want to talk to her. She wasn't the sun and she wasn't that bright.

[@gmun2248]

That is a LOW comment, even from someone as horrible as that. What a shitty thing to have to try to even process while dealing with the loss of your father. I have an uncle I could tell dozens of stories about. I honestly don't even know which one I could pick & write ina YT comment. He is utterly obnoxious and manages to surpass everyone's expectations [tone: dripping with sarcasm] every time. He also believes he is the centre of the universe & even just by sobbing loudly through funerals, to reading poems he wrote as part of a service, he somehow always manages to get attention on him. He's an adult man, now in his 70s & has been the same my entire life (I'm 40). Just thinking about him is irritating... The more you hear about other people's families, the more 'normal' yours seems - so sharing the crazy stories makes us all feel better!

[@iononcantomascrivo]

@@gmun2248 I think your dad and Kelly might be related. It is indeed sobering to realize that this type of dynamic is quite common and, for lack of a better word, ’normal.’

[@Azulakayes]

Wow...am so sorry. Even if you had a hard relationship with your dad losing him means you lost a chance at him redeeming himself. I am absolutely gutted for you. I am so sorry and I am glad you have other supportive friends who held your hand as you went through all that. I am sorry.

[@bribri2925]

She sounds like a narcissist I am sorry for your loss, but not the ‘loss’ of the dead weight of that ‘friend’.

[@iononcantomascrivo]

@@bribri2925 Big time. It wasn't until I studied psychology, I was able to deduce that she's either a sadistic narcissist or, more likely, covert narcissist. Covert narcissists love to play the victim or play the charity case then act like they always need a helping hand but when someone refuses assisting them suddenly their bitch side comes out. That was Kelly. If you laid down boundaries with her, you were an enemy. You told her no, you were an enemy. You held her accountable to face repercussions and reprisals for her atrocious behavior, you were an enemy. I warned her years ago, long before I cut her off, that it was not wise to piss off the person who knew everything about her. I told her never to turn me into an enemy. She did. I never really had to take any strong action against her, but she was terrified that I would ruin her life. Not that she needed any help from me. For clarity, she was well into her fifties, had two grown kids and was a grandmother when I cut contact (nearly a decade ago) with her but had the emotional maturity of a five-year-old.

[@LunaP1]

I kept getting the feeling that OP's ex is playing both brothers against each other (dripping poison in his ear). She's a sociopath who isn't sorry that she tore apart a family and still kept them apart for her own selfish reasons. Hope brother gets his shit together and lets OP live his life.

[@mbyerly9680]

OP's betraying brother, "Why didn't you invite me to YOUR wedding." "I left the invitation at our parents' graves where I mentally buried you after you betrayed me."

[@McAnik-uo1ol]

Story 1: What a massive slap in the face to invite him to their wedding. The 2 people who plunged him into years of darkness. "Yeah. Sure. Nothing I'd like better than to share your joy on this happiest of days." Maybe the motivation is to try and atone, to reconcile, to heal and maybe it comes from the right place but how tone deaf. After a long struggle OP was already healing. This would have set him back on his recovery. Re-visiting their betrayal right when he should be focusing on his new love, his new child and the new happy chapter of his life. Yeah. Lets go back to his darkest time because it is what THEY need. OP. Your wife and child need you. They need you whole and happy. I am a husband and father myself and it is tough enough fulfilling that role without being broken in heart mind and spirit. Don't do anything to damage your spirit when it is not your guilty brother who will be there for the fallout. It will be your innocent child and your loyal wife. The saying goes: Don't set yourself on fire to keep somebody else warm. Rotten brother says he can't marry Melissa or anybody else without his brother's support. Simple Live the rest of your life alone, scumbag.

[@DrownedInExile]

S1: Ex-brother's got some nerve! I'm calling it: he wants money. Or he wants to vacuum his conscience at OP's expense. Nope! Glad he didn't bother to respond. He doesn't have a brother anymore. And LMAO at Melissa getting cheated on! Schadenfreude is a beautiful thing!

[@TheKnightofAwesomeness]

Karma is such a beautiful thing

[@AryonaSamoto]

Story 1: Glad OP is happy and far away from his toxic ex and awful bro. Story 2: Karma always comes, glad OP got to not only watch but play a hand in dishing it out. Story 3: Aunt sounds narcissistic. I wouldn't want anything to do with her either. I'm sorry that relative did that to you Mark. You were grieving and she made it about her problems. My mom is that way. At my aunts funeral all she tried to do was complain about my dads new GF and how she couldn't believe how disrespectful they were being flaunting their relationship when her and my dad weren't legally divorced yet. They had been separated almost 2 years at that point and she was the one halting the divorce procedures.

[@BIGEAGLEDUDE]

With the first story you did the right thing the moment if you forgive him is the moment he will go back to Melissa with a clear conscience and go through with it because he would think he did nothing wrong in his heart in mind and Spirit. The fact that Melissa got with the first guy after both you and him and got pregnant and she's a single mom tells me that her life has been nothing but a train wreck ever since everything went down. Your brother and my opinion when you said that he was dead to you with the moment he knew his life was going to be crumbling down because you were his stability for all these years. This is one of those situations where you may have to go no contact with him for at least a few decades before you finally say okay I'm ready to give you a second chance. He's not going to marry Melissa until you give him a sense of okay and assurance that you're cool with this when you know you're not. Meaning this is going to cost him so much mental distress that rightfully earned he needs to go through it. Maybe a few years of loneliness and self-discovery without having to use his brother's sloppy seconds as a security blanket what make him grow up a lot more. Not to mention having his parents forever guilt for him

[@DreamyDuskywing]

I struggle with reading due to brain fog with my chronic illnesses. I really appreciate your videos Mark! They also feel nostalgic because I'm originally from Oxford and your accent is comforting.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

💜💜🤗🤗

[@Davtwan]

“I didn’t mean to/it was not my intention” ≠ absolved-accountability pass. Period.

[@Heydodoakskdkdjf]

cheaters will literally nuke a whole relationship before having healthy conversations about their dissatisfaction

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

everybody brings up their panic attacks like that changes anything.

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 1- Hang on to that therapist as long as possible! That is such rare insight! I went through many therapists before I found my current one and she is like this. Also- I'm glad the wedding was canceled because if it was me that knew the time and place it would be a miracle if it went off without being swatted somehow. ♑ gang where u @?

[@ayylmao884]

Response to the last story. Once one of my relatives passed away and they weren't that close to us. My nan, who loves only herself and attention basically pushed her way to the cascet, slammed her body down on it, and started screaming how she'll miss him. He was her nephew, not his mum. She even cried over his wife and kids. Later at the wake she was laughing and cheering as though she was at the pub.

[@carlrood4457]

I really don't get this. My younger brother found his future wife before I found mine. I'd known he was dating a while and to me, that put her into the "sister" category in my head before I ever met her. It's pretty much been the same with GFs of friends. I can acknowledge when they're objectively attractive, but emotionally, I put them in a "don't touch" box forever. It's not even that hard, pretty much automatic.

[@WickedRev]

Just stopping by to say that I hope Mark and all my fellow viewers had a great day today!

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

I hope you did too m8💜💜🤗🤗

[@PocketFullOfBacon]

Thx you as well

[@j.graham8068]

Unfortunately, I have experienced someone making the death of a loved one all about themselves. When my sister was in hospital dying of cancer, I would visit her every day after work. My mother would often come by as well, and as soon as she stepped in the room, all conversation turned to be about her. It was the thing that made me and my other siblings aware of how narcissistic our mother was. So my sister's illness was about mom, her death was about mom, her funeral was about mom, etc. Also everything else in the world was about mom. We are all kind of amazed that we never noticed it before. Suddenly so many things made sense. The three of us have since been working to recover from a childhood of emotional abuse and neglect. I only wish we'd known earlier so my sister could have benefited as well.

[@bartvansliedregt5482]

Much love to everyone who reads this ❤

[@Tomicrat]

Same back to ya ❤

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

You too m8🤗🤗💜💜

[@randomusername3873]

Except op's brother😂

[@nexutus8073]

Story 1: The brother has not changed a bit. He wanted OP to "bless" their wedding to relieve some of his guilt and to show their friends that they can support them now too. For OP's cheating ex: Karma has a nasty bite and she seems to caught some well deserved justice. Hope her little boy toy adventure is worth her life being a circus for the last years. She sure seems like the headclown right now.

[@tranquility1967]

My narcissistic brother would not answer the phone. When I called to tell him that dad was dying. 3 days later, when dad was dead, he sent me a text and asked what he got in the will! 😢

[@Swnsasy]

Man, look.. I'm in a specific field of psychology and I've seen A LOOOOT, but this is the only side of human behavior I just cannot get past.. I understand all the heinousness one human being can be to another but this... It still boggles my mind how a very close sibling can do this to another... It breaks my heart so very badly for those treated like less than an enemy....

[@MekareP]

My only guess is the death of the parents at such a young age fucked up development. He was only 10 at the time. It created a weird relationship for him and his brother too because the boundaries were now irrevocably different. Kids who lose one parent causes all sorts of developmental issues, but both? Nasty stuff. (Not an excuse, just a hypothesis of mine from far away)

[@srsh12345]

Story 1: Hello Brother. Stabbing you in the back has been the biggest regret in my life. Please accept my apology and come to my wedding to the woman that led you to an almost-suicide. Best of love and thanks for your understanding. Disgusting.

[@emmathereb]

That brother doesn’t give a shit about anything except his own conscience. His only action should’ve been to leave her on the spot and never contact her again. And give his brother the space he demanded. He can atone all by himself.

[@herewego8686]

"Forgiveness isnt forced" Thank you! So many people say forgive and forget or sometimes even i forgive you but ill never forget , which makes no sense at all. In my opi ion forgiveness means you are able to move past and treat them the same. Just saying the words and faking it doesnt do anything

[@tiawheeler1153]

"I can forgive you but never forget" actually does make sense. It is basically saying that while forgiveness was given, the event didn't go away and the trust needs to be earned again (if it ever comes back).

[@herewego8686]

@tiawheeler1153 and that's where we disagree. When I forgive someone that means it goes back to the way it was before. I trust them again fully, otherwise what does forgiveness actually mean other than words? Letting it go but not truly letting it go? "I forgive you for stealing my money..but....I dont trust you alone near my money," Oh so what's the difference? You are treating them the exact same as if you didn't forgive them. They are still not allowed neae

[@cpaul9269]

story 1- WTF was the brother thinking inviting OP to that wedding?! Man, I'd have a difficult time staying out of jail......wow.

[@FizzardFoofoo-jt5zu]

I will never understand how people can sleep with siblings. I have two younger brothers and a few of my brothers girlfriends would hit on me I would literally tell them that I’m flattered but there’s no way in hell I’m available to them, not now not ever. Just the idea that I would put Mr Willy in someone my brothers had made me physically Ill. There are billions of beautiful people out there that would love you why in gods green earth would you even take a chance on hurting someone who loves you.

[@Krisna_K]

Actions have consequences! I would never forgive my sister for doing such a thing!

[@ladyv5655]

1st story. Sounds like Melissa and the brother deserve each other. They also have a skewed sense of what it means to forgive. It doesn't mean that the offender is off the hook. For me, it means that I am letting go of all my anger and hurt towards that person. It doesn't mean voluntarily staying with/being around toxic people.

[@fcold9402]

2. "Big for your race"....How, how does that not get someone fired (or at least HR talking to them) immediately?

[@Streetwisefirst]

Story 1: petty me would have reached out and told him I could never to forgive him especially if he thinks I would show up to his wedding with my ex he cheated with. I would tell him I’m happy married and have kid, and he will not be apart of my life.

[@Cazlouisa123]

Story 1 is just so sad. As a mum I'd be devastated if my 2 children were these 2 brothers. 😢 Also Mark yes my dad was like that. It was a standing joke in our family that you didn't say hi how are you.... We had to say something more direct about the weather or something lol. Otherwise you'd be an hour deep into all his ailments 😅 it was funny watching people meet him on the streets and they politely say how are you doing and he proceeded to tell them exactly how he was doing 😅😅

[@AndyyWithAY]

I was hoping they got together after OP and the ex broke up. I still don't approve of getting with your family member's ex's but at least that's honest. But they cheated!! Gross!! OP sacrificed everything for his brother and this is what he gets? The ex is complete and total garbage. OP met every single other one of her needs. The sex just was lacking. She didn't even talk to OP. You stupid girl! Sex like everything else takes work. A relationship can't last long term on just good sex. But OP is better off

[@sarahporter8436]

Just wanted to say I love your videos, all the way from Australia. You are my favourite presenter.

[@FlipTheBard]

"Forgiveness is a tool made by cowards who just wants to get away with their wrongdoings without facing any consequences" He summed up the main issue I have with the concept of "forgiveness" and when people tell others all the time to "forgive". They say "it isn't for them, it's for yourself, to set yourself free of the pain", but we all know deep down that forgivenes is basically just saying the one who wronged you "Ok, no problem". And that's it.They won't work hard to become better people, they won't work hard to show how remorseful they are or to "pay you" for the pain they caused. Forgiveness really is the tool of cowards, made to supress the victims into a false belief that forgiveness is necessary for them to be able to live their lives unburdened.

[@notajetplane]

His ex brother is not sorry for betraying him, just doesn't like the fallout. If he was sorry, he wouldn't be marrying that woman. There are medieval tortures that hurt less than what those two dogs did.

[@SkyEcho751]

Story 1: Forgiveness is just one half of the equation, the other half is called atonement. That is to take action to show one is not just sorry, but that they will change their behavior to fix the issue... The brother has yet to actually Atone for his despicable actions, seeing as he is STILL trying to get with Melissa, and even trying to guilt OP to come to a future wedding. Forgiving someone is about not letting the anger burn yourself up, so in a way OP has already forgiven the brother, it's the brother who hasn't even bothered to make it right, and even _then_ it will at best be amicable neutrality. Story 2: Be careful who you step on today, they might be able to stomp on you tomorrow. Aka, don't be mean unless you are willing to pay the due later. Story 3: Wow, what a witch.

[@demonqueen3886]

How he sorry for sleeping with his brother's girlfriend but invite him to the wedding how tf?! Glad OP didn't contact him and is living happy

[@recycledapathy7411]

Story 1: I bet that OP's brother is just trying to get his hands on that trust fund that no longer exists. Tough shit, either way. He traded his relationship with OP for one with a cheating cow. He can't trade back now, because the relationship he had with OP is deleted. It's like trading in a new BMW for an old beater, regretting it a year later, and wanting to trade back but the BMW has already been sold, totaled, and crushed into a cube at a scrapyard.

[@ayanaatthrivebewhole]

For the pro Revenge story, I'm really glad that they got Justice! It really sucks every time we hear stories about people not just not giving consequences sooner. It should have never gotten to that point! As a teacher, this makes me cringe. This could have been a massive class-action, and it also wasn't good for the company at all! Her entire team wasn't delivering on any thing that they were supposed to do! It doesn't make sense to me why people take the road that has less conflict all the time!

[@syrliawarrior]

Story 1 reminds me of when I was told we use forgive/forget wrong. It's not forgive and forget, it's forgive or forget. OP is on the right path to forgetting. He needs to walk away from the AH that is his ex-brother, no one needs that kind of toxicity in their lives.

[@Number-vt1fl]

Who needs enemies with family like that.

[@yozarahirvi4750]

Damn, the therapist is spot on when he said forgiveness should only be an option when someone show that they're sorry by their action and not by their words. yeah, you tell a great sob story where you broke up for a while with Melissa, yeah your friends think you're a despicable human being (they're right by the way) and won't show to your wedding and how you rekindled with Melissa after she was cheated on and understood a fraction of OP's pain (I assume she wasn't cheated on with her sister) you were more than a brother to OP you were also like a son. and now you tell this sob story in which you're so sorry, yet you're still marrying that girl you betrayed your brother with ...$do you realy think your brother will be happy seeing you two getting married ? do you think it will ease his pain ? no ! You're doing it only to try to force forgiveness on OP to alevieate your guilt, because the guilt is unbearable, but you'll have to live with this guilt for the rest of your life ! especially marrying the very cause of this guilt. And I hope Melissa will have this guilt for the rest of her life too I wish you spent a long and miserable life, burdened by the guilt of what you both did to OP ...

[@carlrood4457]

I've always loved this dialog about forgiveness from Stargate: SG1. To be fair, they are talking about things FAR WORSE than cheating, but I think it applies in the idea that forgiveness is about the needs of the forgiver, not the forgiven. Teal'c : Nothing I have done since turning against the goa'uld will make up for the atrocities I once committed in their name. Somewhere deep inside you you knew it was wrong, a voice you did not recognize screamed for you to stop. You saw no way out, it was the way things were, they could not be changed. You're trying to convince yourself the people you're hurting deserved it. You became numb to their pain and suffering, you learned to shut out the voice speaking against it. Tomin : There's always a choice. Teal'c : Indeed there is. Tomin : I chose to ignore it. Teal'c : Yet you sit here now. Tomin : I sit here, and I cannot imagine the day when I will forgive myself. Teal'c : Because it will never come. One day others may try to convince you they have forgiven you, that is more about them than you. For them, imparting forgiveness is a blessing. Tomin : How do you go on? Teal'c : It is simple. You will never forgive yourself. Accept it. You hurt others, many others, that cannot be undone. You will never find personal retribution, but your life does not have to end. That which is right, just and true can still prevail. If you do not fight for what you believe in all may be lost for everyone else. But do not fight for yourself, fight for others, others that may be saved through your effort. That is the least you can do.

[@browniewin4121]

1) OMG such evil betrayal. I feel so sad for OP and the heartbreak this has to cause him. The audacity to send a wedding invitation to OP. That is so crass, tasteless, and cruel to do, how in the world could the cheaters think OP would want to attend this or even know about it. Stay NC and don't even respond. After update: My congrats to OP and his wife on their baby and marriage. Some things can be forgiven, this does not seem like one of them as the brother is still an idiot and OP's is better off without him in his life. 2) Bad bosses are the worst, they can make life hell. It is delightful that OP got her new position and was now over her former tormentor, even better that that nasty piece of work go fired. 3) How awful that someone could be this heartless and entitled. No one should enable this awful woman and it's not surprising her family wants nothing to do with her. Mark, I think perhaps the news of her relative's death made human frailty and mortality feel very acute to her and all the more scared and anxious about her upcoming surgery and that was why she launched into that talk about it.

[@tinycrimester]

i don't understand people who say "i never meant to hurt you" when they get caught cheating. like ?????? so hurting people was just a nice little bonus?

[@marcsando]

Story #1: The cheating brother and ex are fa beyond dis-respectful and contemptuous; they are downright evil. What hatred on their part! Watch how they try to spin things to make themselves the victims.

[@jay_dave8722]

Icing on the cake by the friends of OP's brother. They all dropped the invitation for his wedding in support of OP! 👍

[@VidGirl88]

Story 1: classic forcing forgiveness to prove to everyone what they did is OK because look! OP came so that means it's all good! I'm totally not a a hole for cheating with his gf! 🤡

[@Marion-sb9gs]

My mother’s oldest sister just passed away, a kind lady loved by us all. We were all feeling very lost without her when another cousin turned up and her first words were about how she had successfully lost quite a lot of weight and was enjoying buying a new wardrobe, so I feel for OP in the last story.

[@connorvexonian3093]

Only recently just found your channel and ever since I've been hooked. I am very selective on who I listen to narrate Reddit stories and to be frank, I quite enjoy your narrations! Thank you for doing what you do!

[@Sacredwhimisipod]

Story 1: You owe hime nothing. He didn’t think of you when he decided to sleep with your then girlfriend and the only reason he wants you back is to admonish his guilt and show everyone that you two are on good terms. You’re not petty or cruel on the slightest for looking out for your family, the family that loves you. He stopped being your family the day he betrayed and lied to you. If you choose to forgive him, it’ll be on your terms not his. I’m very sorry this happened to you but all the same, I’m happy you are doing so much better now.

[@BW022]

Story 1: OP, you have a wife and new baby. Congrats. Besides yourself, why would you risk their happiness, well-being, emotional stability, etc. on someone who has shown they aren't aren't to be trusted. If it was just you, it would be your choice. But now, you have others to think about. Does your new mother wife need to deal with this, risk a potential blow up, you having to be an emotional support for your brother, etc.? Does you newborn need to deal with daddy in a bad mood because he's been talking with his brother? Sorry... let your brother go sort himself out. The fact he cheated with her on you, stayed with her even when found out, lost you because of her, she left him for someone else (likely cheating on him), he took her back while with someone else's kid, etc. shows he shouldn't be around you, your wife, or child. Let him go do a decade of therapy, deal with his own issues, and then maybe try some reconciliation when you, your new wife, and your daughter are stable. Newborn = lots of stress. Don't add anymore to it.

[@lisawhereisthecultjam]

I have moved past something like that. Best thing ever. Holding on to hatred doesn’t help you.

[@Shenn3165]

Forgetting your brother will be easier then forgiving him, and it sounds like brother doesn’t deserve any added effort.

[@eddavanleemputten9232]

Story 1: The majority of relationships that start in infidelity, end… in infidelity. Additionally, the OP needs to realise that if the intimacy isn’t all that great, at least 50% of the problem resides in the partner. NOT you. And in the type of relationship the OP was in, chances are big that it was way more than 50% of the problem that resided with the AH partner. I speak from experience. I used to think I was pretty bad at intimacy, barely ok at most. Turns out my partners were selfish. I had become very insecure over the years. Then I met my current partner. He’s a very generous, patient and kind man and he turned me into a … erm… tigress. Thanks to him I’ve said goodbye to my insecurities and feel confident in my sexuality and how to express it. This has translated to other aspects of my life. Intimacy is give-and-take. Intimacy is communication, kindness, patience, and understanding. Intimacy has room for laughter. From there on, it turns into joy.

[@cantduckinbelieveit7426]

The biggest part when it comes to forgiveness is it earned, however, the person who “earns” it cannot be seeking to earn it. They can’t be trying to get back in your good graces and trying to earn forgiveness. They have to atone for their sins or apologize for the wrong doings with the knowledge that forgiveness is not to goal. They are atoning because it is *the right thing to do*, not to earn something.

[@novakane701]

The last story sounds like my family. When my little brother died unexpectedly, he received a military salute by 21-gun salute. One of our uncles had the audacity to say that the guns going off will make people cry. My big brother told him this isn't a party, it's a funeral, most of us are already crying. 22:49

[@worldissuesmatter1643]

Story 1: do not go, do not send an RSVP. Pretend you know nothing about it.

[@mercedeseales]

Mark, this happened to me. My father passed away, and the same day, a few hours later, my friend phoned not to give me her condolences but to ask questions about her having problems getting pregnant. Mind you, this was her 5th child she was trying to conceive, not her 1st. I was so heartbroken because this was my friend of 20+ years. Some people really have no empathy or common sense 🙄

[@columkenn]

Story 1: It's OK to accept an apology and offer forgiveness without ever wanting to see or speak to that person again.

[@cahootsdrunkard]

yeah, he's so sorry that he was still gonna marry his brother ex! What a gent.

[@gigga143]

S1: don’t feel bad at all, your brother and your ex are both horrendous evil people. if your brother wanted to try and mend your relationship he would have dropped her. instead he sent you an invitation to their wedding, what a sick individual he is.

[@yaqbulyakkerbat4190]

Oh please, they aren't guilty. They're upset their actions had consequences. Keep them blocked, they aren't good people

[@neilfelsbourg170]

I love that line "you ruined the funeral for me."

[@maurer3d]

Story 1: NTA,"my so is bad in bed, so I cheat on him with his brother", who in the world comes up with that logic. If someone isn't doing it for you in bed you talk to them and tell them what you like, or break up with them (if you are lazy or don't love them).

[@jackspring7709]

This is the second story (that I can remember from this channel) of someone who had raised their own sibling under severe circumstances only to be betrayed by them in one of the worst ways a person could be betrayed. The OP in both these stories are saints and didn't deserve that.

[@moonlightauras1]

Story 1 is proof that karma is REAL. All OP had to do was get as far away from his brother and Melissa as humanly possible and both their lives fell apart. While it took OP time to get his life sorted out, he eventually got the happy ending he deserved, while Melissa reaped what she sewed and the brother will spend the rest of his life suffering with guilt, shame, regret and loneliness. Forgiveness isn't about absolving wrongdoers of guilt and responsibility, it's about accepting a situation as it is and taking steps to move on so that you can have a better life.

[@holeymcsockpuppet]

Story 1: I'd go and make a toast. Tell the story of raising him, his betrayal, and the likelyhood that one of them will cheat. Throw a drink in his brother's face, wish them luck, and walk away. [Edit: damn, lost chance. Oh well, let him remain d€ad to you.]

[@druid799]

Last story , similar situation my mum was rushed in to hospital and it wasn’t looking good sister rings me up to ask if she should go on her cruise or not the next day , I say “only you can decide that” she then comes back with “thing is I don’t know if I’ll get my money back if I cancel this late !” She decides to go , mum passed away 2days later and sister then proceeds to plaster all over Facebook how ‘devastated’ she is and making out she didn’t know mum had gone to hospital before she left for her cruise trying to drum up the sympathy for her self ! Haven’t spoken to her since mum died and that’ll be 4yrs end of this yr .

[@hilarymurray8741]

First story : OP, when a woman truly loves a man, she does not even 'rate his performance' when making love as he is the centre of her world and sharing that special, exclusive intimacy is the best thing ever to her. If your ex rated you, it means she did not love or respect you in the first place, so you are well off absolutely NC. Good luck.

[@renee0_0]

I'm saving that bit about forgiveness being a trap and it being a tool used by cowards. My family is trying to force me into forgiving my psychopathic sister, who with the help of my narcissistic mother tortured me and made me practically the family slave. They keep acting like I owe them even though no one admits what happened and no one ever apologized. Like they are better than me for some twisted reason. That comment gives me a way to put into words what I feel

[@platinum_noelle]

Considering the OP raised his brother, this is in the same vein as if someone's son or daughter cheated with their bf/gf, it's horrifying.

[@Mia-dt3gl]

He just wants the money OP had been setting up for him. That’s why he invited OP.

[@weirdbutloved]

I remember when my mom passed away. I had to fly off my ship (deployment), contact family, and start making arrangements. I had zero time to myself from the time i found out to when i got to my moms house. I found out on the 1st of April and didnt get back until the 3rd. I arrived at 2 am and was woken up at 6 by her boyfriend knocking on the door. He just barged in. He sat down, grabbed my moms purse/hospital bag and started going through it. He then asked me if he could have her hair brush. He tried to dominate the whole funeral. I still dispise him to this day. There's a lot that happened obviously but the last story reminded me of this.

[@RebaMedia]

Story 1: Kinda sounds like the brother wanted him at his wedding to have OP attending be symbolic that he approves of the relationship to anyone who sees him there or hears that he is going/went to it. OP's brother lost a LOT of friends and their respect for him who all refuse to go to his wedding. Oh but if OP went then surely all his friends would have to let it go and also go to the wedding, because OP is fine with it! "Look OP is coming and HE was the victim so you all should be over it too!" At least that's the vibe this all gives off. Lots of excuses and centering himself in that email rather than OP.

[@catharsismemory]

Wow that's the lowest thing a brother could do..just wow. The ex is definitely marrying the brother out of spite to get back at op. That's just messed up, I wouldn't go to this wedding myself as that is an extreme disrespectful, traitorous move.

[@secret3957]

When my dad was at death's door, I went to stay with my mum to say goodbye to my dad and help my mum with the funeral arrangements. In the evening my best friend rang me and asked me about my day. I kind of choked up and could not really answer and she then started to discuss her marriage problems with me for the next hour and a half. I was too polite to set my boundaries, but it broke my heart, as her dad had died a few years before and she should have known what it feels like to know your dad is dying. We expected him to die that night and I had told her as much.

[@HackiePuffs]

Dude the brothers got some nerve I’m actually impressed in a way 🤣

[@angeloliver7613]

Op CAN if he wants to, talk to his brother again, but in no way would I go to the wedding. Maybe a coffee. But only if OP wants.