My Fiancee Is REFUSING To Allow My Daughter To Be Part Of Our Wedding r/Relationships

[@madambutterfly1997]

A holiday visit only dad? Is she for real? Cancel the Wedding NOW

[@ToxicSunrise132]

Well, now thanks to the ex OP can be the ultimate holiday dad. Hope P enjoys the Hawaii honeymoon trip 😂😂😂

[@marshawargo7238]

When the almost MIL said that he was making a mistake, OP should have asked her, "So, if you had been divorced, You would have married a man who wanted you to hand over custody of ex fiance to her dad & you'd only see her once in a while/sometime?" I think that ex fiance lied to her or twisted the truth OR mom raised her to be just like her. But mom wouldn't admit it. She'll tell ex fiance that she jumped too fast & Next Time she should Act nice until the honeymoon is Over...

[@hothotheat3000]

He cancelled it, by the sounds of things. Hope he and P had a blast in Hawaii

[@Gumbier_Than]

Right? She a damn fool if she thinks that was happening.

[@beverleywilliams9275]

OP retrieved his engagement ring from her finger and asked her to collect her things from his house.

[@wildwikedwanderer1208]

Story 1: MIL “your daughter doesn’t have to be part of the wedding”. B*TCH YOUR DAUGHTER DOESNT HAVE TO BE PART OF A WEDDING. Happy that this father has a spine and chooses their child Story 2: if I walk into a living room to find a daughter in law damn near naked passed out on the floor I’m checking for a pulse. After being sure they ain’t dead. I’m getting my kid up to help me bring their sleep deprived wife back into a bed.

[@xhagast]

Story 2: Their relationship is finished. It has nothing to do with wifey doing anything.

[@bbjjbb61]

​@@xhagast You mean the mom and the couple? Yeah, I agree.

[@tamitami9275]

Awesome answer. MIL needs someone to say that to her.

[@nicksuazo4377]

Your daughter doesn't need to be a part of a wedding when there is no wedding. Thw mental gymnastics of some people smh

[@jbgra2566]

Great answer! I love it!

[@shonagriffiths8907]

She hid her ill will towards his daughter for 5 years. That is psychopath level of duplicity. I get the feeling her mother was egging her on. I hope O.P. and his best girl had a great time in Hawaii.

[@sgm8265]

After five years she thought she could pull this off? She thought she had a better grip on OP's "life." Good riddance.

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

"She quietly said..." This line right here and the constant involvement of her mother in this matter. This is why I believe that S knew that her request for OP to essentially *abandon his daughter* for her was *very, very wrong.* And, yet, she still went for it and tried to take it back when OP dumped her. I've said it in other comments, and I say it again: she should've got with a single guy, instead of a single father. :/

[@pippo17173]

@user-fg4tn8ot6b if her mom is completely involved, all it tells you that she has mommy issues.

[@akoilngas1215]

@@pippo17173 She's a grown woman. Don't put this on the mom. The mom might or might not have been involved, but the horrendous character flaw was S's alone.

[@tallyp.7643]

My guess is she was counting on "sunk cost fallacy" to help prod him into marrying her and going along with what she wanted. After all, they were together 5 years and he wants to marry again, and he's only getting older. Guess she didn't realize she got a man who doesn't "babysit" his kids when it's his turn, but actually actively parents and wants her to be in his life. She should've gone for a "weekend/holiday" dad from the start; those are the ones more likely to ditch their kids for good if they got a new woman at their side. They give other dads a bad name.

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

I had to listen to the update a few times to make sure I heard it right. Wow. Just wow. OP didn't just dodge a bullet, he dodged a Trash Grenade. What an absolutely horrible woman. Well done to OP for being a good dad. I'm actually speechless. Wow. Such a good job that OP saw that womans true colours BEFORE the wedding.

[@ForsetisStenographer]

I had to pause, rewind and read the words myself because I was sure I was mishearing. I can't even. Like instead of being happy OP is a present dad, which bodes very well for future children they could have, she wanted him to become an absent father? What an awful, disgusting person. Bullet dodged fore sure.

[@Deedoof]

The fact that the ex had MIL waiting to gang up on OP was another red flag; bringing others into your personal business without talking to each other first.

[@carlrood4457]

@@ForsetisStenographer She's 39, so future children aren't a given. She might want to be child free.

[@linkinlady06]

Oh you're not the only one I had to rewind it back at least three or four times to really fully absorb and hear the audacity of what she wanted him to do. To ask any parent to give up custody of their child for them is the most disgusting thing ever to me. My son and I are a package deal and I let everyone know that from the get-go and if they don't like it we don't need them period!!!

[@ElleD308]

​@@carlrood4457 you would be surprised how many delusional women think they are the exception to having kids that late or that the "ticking clock" is just a lie the patriarchy says to marry young women and not old crazy ones.

[@yaqbulyakkerbat4190]

"I don't want her in the wedding cause I want you to effectively disown her after" OP was smart to run and not look back.

[@lynnw7155]

I hope OP and his daughter enjoy their trip to Hawaii.

[@bumbleBEE212.]

As a parent I am sooooo proud of OP in story one. The fact he took the ring off her finger was priceless! I can never understand pp dating parents. So he can be a weekend/hardly there dad to his child but she would want a full time one for theirs. Those kind of people is hilarious. Good for him!

[@Deedoof]

I married into a pre-made family and couldn't feel more blessed, I love my "chicklets"!

[@Swnsasy]

I am floored.. My mouth just dropped when the update came.. I cannot imagine the BALLS OF THAT BIOTCH!! For 5yrs though?! For 5yrs?? The audacity

[@heatherdickau5335]

His sliding the ring off her finger was priceless! Best move ever.

[@tegantalks9612]

Right?! Like my step mom and I don’t always get along, but she has always included me in everything. I was a flower girl at the wedding, I got to help out with my new siblings. Even now she’s more involved being a grandma to my kids than my own mom because her and my dad live around the corner from me.

[@Swnsasy]

@@heatherdickau5335 Oh heck yea!! That was some THUG LIFE there 😎

[@Dina-lc4bt]

I absolutely fell asleep on the floor next to the crib when my kiddo was a baby. The floor is not comfortable, but after feeding baby every 2-3 hours for every night for a year and caring for him during the day the floor was great.

[@trippinggauntlet4520]

I fell asleep stood up when I was pregnant, didn't wake up until I hit the floor. Luckily the extreme tiredness only lasted for a few weeks in the early stages, odd way to detect a pregnancy 😅

[@hothotheat3000]

You saved your daughter from the burden of carrying trauma from an awful stepmother. You are a hero, OP. Seriously.

[@GabrielBadwolf]

Some people on Reddit apparently never raised a baby… I’ve been sleep deprived raising a puppy yet alone a baby

[@rebel1612]

So often in the online world life should just be perfect and everyone should do everything perfectly

[@n3rdv10l3nc3]

I'm weaning off bottle babies rn and I was losing my mind with four kittens. I'd be utterly wrecked with an actual human baby.

[@nessarolla]

​@@n3rdv10l3nc3Ive been there. Waking up at all hours to feed kittens and make sure their mom was comfortable. I loved them to death but I do not miss the sleepless nights.

[@carterpitbull7366]

They’re mostly single guys who never even had a girlfriend before, I don’t doubt how stupid they are.

[@n3rdv10l3nc3]

@@nessarolla One of mine is resisting weening right now. 😒

[@BruinPhD2009]

I was listening in my car. When I heard the line "holiday only" I actually shouted out "What? This b----h must be effing crazy!" Good on OP for sending the ex and her mother packing.

[@Uneclipsed]

Story 2: the fact that MIL's first response was disgust and not terror at seeing a mostly naked, postpartum woman passed out on her floor is really telling. I can’t believe she didn’t check to see if she was okay.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

Seriously, I'm not even a mom and even I have empathy for a new mom! She was barely getting any sleep and passed out, probably on autopilot. Not her damn fault, my first instinct would be to check a pulse and for any knots/bumps in dangerous places before waking the person up after putting a blanket on them to cover them up

[@maximillian1109]

Also, seeing a person sleeping with their tits out is not that big of a deal, no matter what caused it to occur (unless it is something really creepy). It’s just breasts.

[@Luvias0415]

​@maximillian1109 Sadly sometimes people are just that prudish.

[@sharontalladira]

Op needs to call his mother out!! His wife is exhausted tell mom to chill out

[@JoJo-qw7ic]

​@@sharontalladiraHe did.

[@Vipre-]

"I kept my cool, calmly took her hand, and pulled my engagement ring off." Absolute BOSS. Not one ounce of sniveling just done and get out.

[@hothotheat3000]

Story 3: you have to let addicts hit rock bottom. Divorce him and take the children with you. Either you run like hell or you burn with him. IF YOU STAY, YOU ARE CO-SIGNED TO HIS BEHAVIOR.

[@Zurround]

The divorce lawyer will probably cost less than the money you will lose if you stay married to this gambling addict.

[@addicted2mako]

She basically was already planning to erase P out of her new family, and was seriously expecting OP to just roll with it? The only good thing this woman did was wave her stepmonster flag super early, and OP is a boss for not only standing up for his daughter but for taking the engagement ring right off that harpy's finger!

[@linkinlady06]

Right!? The sheer Audacity Of It All! If she wanted to be child-free why waste Op's time by dating him for five years and only pretending to love his daughter? And the asking him to become a "holiday only dad" truly disgusted me

[@lalithrockz]

Because she thinks he was a doormat. Unfortunately for her, be wasn't.

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

@@linkinlady06 She should've gone for a single guy, instead of a single father. 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@pippo17173]

These people scared me. It's like a predator who finds prey and sticks to them for years, ready to strike. These people are horrible.

[@diarradunlap9337]

​@user-fg4tn8ot6b Right! Single/Divorced parents really SHOULD stay single. Widowed parents, perhaps, but not necessarily.

[@helenlewis2510]

Last story him unplugging the security cameras makes me think he’s going to take this time op and the kids are away to have “company”.

[@EphemeraImaging]

He's a man child who haas decided that his wife is too controlling and taking away all his fun. Screw that, screw feeding the kids and keeping a roof over their heads, he wants to HAVE FUN! How dare she try and take that away from him! /s

[@gmun2248]

I love the visual of him just calmly removing the engagement ring from her finger. Quiet, MASSIVE "f*ck you, f*ck this, f*ck off" in a single, somehow gentle gesture.

[@delilahbelle2125]

When OP said he would take his daughter on the trip to Hawaii, I cheered for OP

[@UchuKejiMovan]

I'm hoping this isn't like the story where the OP's sister wanted to exclude her niece because of her race 🤦🏾‍♂️ So not race just pure selfishness and delusion. OP's a great father for kicking her to the streets!

[@kaykay8855]

At this point I’m like why marry a partner with a kid?

[@carlrood4457]

@@kaykay8855 Resources

[@JordanDragonAs]

​@@carlrood4457wrong thought

[@alicewilloughby4318]

@mauricenixon, I also remember one where the bride & groom claimed that the wedding would be child free, just to keep out a girl with burn scars. When her parents showed up and saw that everyone else had brought their kids, they turned around and left.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

There’s are a couple of stories that come to my mind…one where the bride didn’t want her fiancé’s daughter because she was either autistic or had Down’s syndrome and another bride was being pressured by her sister to only have her daughter as flower girl (luckily bride came to her senses when she realized she was hurting her fiancé’s feelings and was about to lose a good thing). Why do people only show their true self when wedding planning starts? Geez!🤦🏼‍♀️

[@lilbitof3kiddos507]

I was a step mom for many years. I drove 2 hours every other week to and from to get my step kids so my husband could see his kids. My youngest step son is now 37 years old and comes to spend a week with us to this day.... she is a horrible person.

[@audreym3908]

​@@LostSoulchild89I would've too, but it would have to depend on what my job was and if I was able to afford where they lived. Plus, 2 hrs isn't bad compared to some people who live in different cities/states that are hours apart.

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

You're a great stepmom! Im someone who wants a child-free wedding but if my SO had kids they would be a part of the wedding party and I would adjust my plans to make it more comfortable for the kids!

[@laurenevers8644]

I know these comments are 2 weeks old now but y'all just blinkered right over the fact that she said she'd pick up the step kids every "OTHER" week. Not every single week. But yeah, she's still an awesome step mom.

[@Ospyro3em]

It boils my blood whenever I hear stories about people who marry someone who had a previous marriage and are determined to wipe out all traces of that relationship, including the kids. When you marry someone who already has kids, you're committing to accept the kid in your life too. If you can't do that, leave them alone.

[@MarcelaElviraTimis]

I know right? I'd totally do my best to be the cool stepmom, lol.

[@trashotaku]

Exactly, if you aren’t prepared or willing to be a stepparent, DON’T MARRY SOMEONE WITH KIDS

[@cyberhard]

"Took her hand and calmly pulled the ring off." 😂 Smooth and the right move.

[@calebjenkins3086]

Imagine waking up in the morning to a mother asleep ON THE LIVING ROOM FLOOR and doing anything but getting her S.O. to make sure she's ok out of genuine concern. The absolute audacity! Its even more embarrassing that a literal child is more respectful and mature than the grown woman.

[@Draggonny]

Yeah. That's weird. I could understand it a bit better if a man or boy had walked in and found her almost naked but a grown-ass woman getting worked up over a sleeping, naked relative is just bizarre.

[@umbranassassin8372]

@@Draggonny Just playing devil's advocate here but I really don't consider it at all a matter of maturity but a matter of personal morals and ethics. The child's a child they see nothing wrong because they don't have that sense of right/wrong in the first place, kids not more mature for it just a combination of maybe more open minded and/or something they just found funny enough to keep to themselves. The child not acting the same as the mother doesn't really indicate it's less of a deal just that they don't care. I mean the child has zero agency in the situation and it's not their house either. The mother at her age would likely yell at her own son if he was walking around in nothing but his underwear as well. It's just that for some people regardless of the circumstance you don't just walk around their house as a guest with literally nothing but underwear on it's just seen as blantantly disrespectful especially with a more conservative mindset. Also as OP mentioned they already had a terrible relationship since the beginning and OP's wife isn't her daughter, without any type of decent relationship the mother probably doesn't even consider the wife part of her family yet. I do agree the mother may have been a bit over the top and the wife isn't an asshole per se but Mother does have a right to be at least annoyed/upset if someone she already dislikes is basically walking around nude in her home.

[@laughableInflection]

Fr imagine shaming a sleep deprived new mom like that. She apologized, and its not like being topless on accident after essentially passing out is an unforgivable offense.

[@sammieg8641]

@@umbranassassin8372none of my grandparents would have freaked out if my mom was naked on the floor… they would be more concerned that something was wrong with her

[@MrJpaynebb]

Imagine waking up to a DIL or SIL on the living room floor nearly naked after you knew they went to sleep in the guest room the night before? It's jarring to say the least. Mom may have overreacted some but let's not act as if she or anyone else wouldn't be upset seeing that as soon as they walk into the living room of their house. Add on a fractured relationship with that same in-law and it's not hard to understand how things escalated quickly. ESH.

[@NovaGirl8]

Story 1 ex is almost the evil stepmother. Bullet dodged Story 2 the niece is nicer than the MIL and knew how to handle the situation of uncovered boobs. Story 3 OP needs to leave and protect her and her kids identity in case he takes out loans on them.

[@goawayleavemealone2880]

What is this assumption that everybody has to be comfortable with nudity?

[@DragonbornMike-ym2er]

Just to be a little fair about story two, kids are going to be more comfortable with different states of undress depending on their household. Dad walks around in boxers? Kid probably won't bat an eye when seeing grandpa do it. Dad is always fully clothed in the house? Kid might be less comfortable with grandpa doing it now. I just don't think it's the fairest of comparisons, since adults usually have their boundaries around that sort of thing set in much more firmly. Though OPs mom does sound like she didn't care for actually resolving the issue.

[@Kris-wo4pj]

​@@goawayleavemealone2880cuz its weird. That people are prudes about anyone being shirtless. Im more grossed out by shirtless men than women. Men half the time dont groom themselves properly. But im not screaming avout it when i see a dude who obviously hasnt washed in weeks shirtless on the streets i avoid them. People start screaming and acting like someone nursing a baby is someone equal to rape is so puzzling to me. Esp since its only the states with this issue 99% of the time even the most prudish countries that kill women who dont wear head covering dont seem to be this offended by nursing a baby or being so sick ya fall alseep naked in a safe space.

[@RuminatingRaptor]

@@goawayleavemealone2880 Grow up.

[@RuminatingRaptor]

@@Kris-wo4pj The US is the biggest bunch of prudes around, which is ironic, considering how much they sexualize breasts. Wait. That’s part of the problem right there. I know what you mean about shirtless men. They don’t care how gross or flabby they are, which is revolting.

[@Russman67]

Story 1: The fiance says the daughter doesn't fit the aesthetic? Wow. That alone is giving me some serious evil stepmom vibes. And MIL coming in as the flying monkey is just another red flag. Plan a vacation with that wedding money.

[@michaelwoods3651]

Story 1- it’s no surprise she’s never been married at 39. 🚩🚩🚩he dodged a bullet. Thankfully, she showed her true colors!

[@Azulakayes]

Foul creature.

[@brokenmask333]

No one wants to be legally tied to a person that awful

[@erenssister.5535]

I don't think age has anything to do with it. Some people have past abuse problems and hard time getting a partner they like. Some may have mental health problems. But I agree. She is an awful person. How can she expect a father to give up his daughter like that?

[@JordanDragonAs]

​@@erenssister.5535it wasn't about the age it was attitude and personality that was enough to tell

[@erenssister.5535]

@@JordanDragonAs Yes exactly. She would have still been a b#tch even if she married in the right time.

[@SICProwl]

The people on the mother story saying YTA are crazy. Apparently being half asleep means you can do everything sleep medications tell you not to do while taking them is ok

[@jakeand9020]

I agree to a point, the wife is definitely NTA. I just have to wonder why the baby isn't disturbing OP's sleep at all. I get she's breastfeeding, that's why pumps are a thing.

[@briannawilliams2867]

​@@jakeand9020I've heard some women say that it's uncomfortable for them. Also they say it's faster to just pop out a breast than prepare a bottle.

[@jakeand9020]

@@briannawilliams2867 If she's that sleep deprived, she needs to deal with that discomfort or just have OP use formula when it's his turn. Formula isn't ideal, but it's not harmful and is perfectly acceptable as a filler. Yes it's expensive, but not so much when used this way. Again, if she's that sleep deprived, something needs to change and a part of that change necessarily involves less sleep for OP. You cannot convince me that level of sleep depravity came out of nowhere with no warning. With the update OP seems perfectly content with his wife going through this, it's all good because she didn't get embarrassed?

[@SICProwl]

@@jakeand9020 She could be experiencing the start of depression. I get unreasonably sleepy when my mood spirals.

[@kellyalves756]

13:04 if I were in MIL’s position, I would have gently put a blanket over her and let her get some sleep.

[@FormerDreamer]

St 3: There’s no fixing that because hubby doesn’t want to get better. The way he treated her after he f-ed up is alone a huge issue then you add in that he is a risk to their ability to care for the kids. SMH

[@heatherdickau5335]

The mother falling asleep shirt story. The kind thing the mother in law could have done would have been to cover her with a blanket so she wouldn't get cold. ( not out of shame.) And then never said a word.

[@catpatrick3838]

What is another major red flag is that a 39 year old woman goes running to mommy to try to change his mind. First regarding canceling the wedding, again to not dump her. Is it any wonder she's 39 and this would have been her first wedding? 🤦🏼‍♀️ Her mommy would have been all up in their business had he married her. Crazy that she was able to hide her true feelings about his daughter for five freaking years. The ex is a total psycho if she could do that.

[@morphinpink]

You can call her out and criticise her without being ageist.

[@SuperSilver66]

@@morphinpinkpushing 40 running to mommy is crazy ngl

[@morphinpink]

@@SuperSilver66 It is, but that's not what I was referring to.

[@catharsismemory]

Her getting married for the first time at 39 might not have to do with this situation. Some people just end up getting married later on in life for various reasons. I didn't get married til 28 yrs old.

[@catpatrick3838]

@@morphinpinkThat did come across as agist and that was not my intent. Any woman above the age of 25/30 who runs to mommy to fix her problems has issues. That mommy felt she had the right to step in and berate her daughter's fiancé after her grown azz daughter came crying to her is very telling. I'm betting more than one man has run for the hills due to daughter crying to mommy and mommy meddling. Someone hasn't cut the umbilical chord in almost 40 years.

[@Only1199]

When you're marrying a parent, it's pretty much a given that their child WILL be part of the wedding unless the child explicitly says they, themselves don't want to for whatever reason.

[@PsySaucererOfnHen]

Story 1: OP must be Neo cause he dodged that bullet like he's in the Matrix. Good on OP for being a damn good dad!

[@averycheesypotato]

Last story: OP’s parent has a gambling addiction too, and went with the husband to the casino?! Betrayed on two fronts! The two are enabling each other & justifying their behaviour by painting OP as the one in the wrong

[@vandergrad]

Story 1 -- How in the living hell does someone put up a front for five years, see how involved OP is with his daughter during that time, and still think that as soon as she's married, she can completely change that dynamic and everything will be perfectly okay??? Just wow.

[@carpediem6431]

Agree. I also wonder why she put up with it for 5 years, then shows her real self…… before the wedding. These types usually wait until afterward.

[@MorningRose370]

My guess is that she thought she had him locked in once the ring was on her finger. There were probably also other red flags that OP just missed.

[@MusicOTNight2096]

She seriously thought that he was going to choose 😺over his daughter. Methinks she was quite overconfident in her 'talents'.

[@Vipre-]

@@carpediem6431 Weddings have a habit of pushing issues to the forefront. They're like life bottlenecks. If there are serious control issues they tend to make them glaringly obvious.

[@Vallyrah]

Story 2: As a woman who is probably close the MIL age. . . I would have put a blanket over her. I might have offered her a pillow. If my son was awake I would have asked him to help her to bed. I would have done everything I could to make her comfortable. After all this woman (like her or not) would have been the mother of my infant grandchild. That deserves help when wanted, and respect even when I disagree.

[@elysabethwells9422]

You sound like a wonderful person ☺️

[@sadtitties222]

I said the same thing! I would have calmly woke her up and offered to put a blanket over her whether she was still half naked or not. It's really not a big deal the way some of these Redditors are making it out to be.

[@YellaBellaReno]

I’m narcoleptic, and hearing the way Reddit reacted to Story 2 is pretty disappointing. 😢

[@RuminatingRaptor]

Seriously! The lack of compassion and understanding was disgusting.

[@milescoburn1845]

If she's narcoleptic, a doctor's diagnosis should have cleared up what was going on. As the poster never said she had been checked out by a doctor, one can only guess something else is going on. Especially as she didn't seem to be having any issues prior to giving birth.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

​@@milescoburn1845She's a new mom, so she's sleep deprived definitely. And giving birth changes your body in so many ways that even sleep is affected, so getting a sleeping disorder after birth isn't even very rare

[@simonO712]

I know right?

[@RequiemPoete]

​@@milescoburn1845How about severe exhaustion? Yeesh.

[@carlrood4457]

The MIL is insane. How is breaking up for attempting to alienate his daughter "being unreasonable"?

[@meghanmckenzie5273]

1st story: Op just proved to his daughter that she would always come first. Good job, Op..you dodged a freaking tsunami.

[@anyan]

Story 2: people are surprised in the update that's she's still so exhausted? Have they forgotten the husband said she's autistic? I'm ND and there are lots of days, "normal" days by most people's standards, when I am just too exhausted to feed myself and prefer going to bed hungry if I'm home alone. Of course ND people are all different, but it seems the people in the comments of this story are being dense on purpose about this lady just being exhausted

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

Not to mention that she's still so close to postpartum! Giving birth also changes your body in so many ways we haven't discovered even to this day, like even some women get sleeping disorders after giving birth

[@simonO712]

Yeah, this. What she went through would be perfectly understandable for a neurotypical person, but adding the difficulties that autism can bring just makes those comments even worse. Like, on top of already being sleep deprived "just putting on a dress" really _is_ that hard when your executive functions are allredy out of wack.

[@ineedhoez]

That sounds like she shouldn't be breeding if she can't cope with life and raising a child.

[@83gemm]

How on gods green earth am I - a child free person who is honestly tired of a lot of parents’ excuses - feeling more empathy for the new mom than like half of Reddit? It’s so clear what happened. She fed the baby, put the baby down, waited for the baby to fall fully asleep, and then passed out herself. That by itself isn’t a big deal and is so very obvious, but let’s pretend for a moment that it WAS just awful of her. Let’s pretend. She clearly apologized and displayed embarrassment. What else does the MIL want, exactly? OP to divorce her on the spot or something?

[@ladymorrigan5950]

I don’t understand any of the negative responses. The niece was more empathetic etc than any of the adults. Wow.

[@kentario1610]

I'm in the same boat as you and similarly baffled. She didn't do it on purpose, she was ashamed and apologised. Time for the mother to move on.

[@kichikitsu]

​@@ladymorrigan5950fr. seriously, what the hell is up with that first commentor? the amount of hatred they have over two complete strangers is ridiculous.

[@katphish30]

Right? I'm never having kids, but I know it's exhausting and I understand sleep walking through night feedings. And they're just boobs, for crying out loud! Imagine getting that bent out of shape over accidentally seeing boobs.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

Yeah, I'm child free but honestly, I don't care if a mom passed out in my house without a shirt on. That shit is fucking exhausting

[@justinbullock6042]

People don't understand that being female and autistic often comes with insomnia problems on top of newborn or eight months old babies.

[@sfsin3380]

Plus some women just get extremely tired after breast feeding because their bodies release too much hormones during. We had to have an intervention for my cousin because she was insisting on breast feeding despite regularly passing out right after. She had twins so she was basically always either breast feeding or unconscious. Her husband asked us for our help convincing her that this wasn't healthy but she'd fallen in with that "breast is god everything else is poison" crowd and thought not breastfeeding would make her a terrible mother. After the intervention she switched to expressing and it thankfully fixed the issue.

[@justinbullock6042]

I mean to be honest, you're talking to someone who's breast fed no bottle for going on five years now, so personally I admire her efforts. The reason behind that is if the baby is getting sick the bacteria or virus alerts my breast milk to make antibodies. But I don't have anyone to watch my kids if I did I would totally express sometimes. I'm glad she found a good balance.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "The girls in the wedding are up to me" if one of them is Op's literal _daughter_ then they get a say in where she goes/what she does. Would be one thing if she was a niece or cousin or whatever (and even then, she's including a niece already), but that's their actual biological child that you're trying to exclude without letting them have any say in the matter. Edit: "You're being unreasonable!!!1!" She's literally so selfish that she couldn't fathom not being the only important woman in Op's life to a point she just expected them to _significantly_ reduce the amount of time spent with their daughter. Why do I get the feeling that if they had kids and one/most were girls, she'd keep any boys and give the girls the same treatment? Cause that's the vibes she's practically _radiating_ right now. Like, I can actually _see_ the aura of selfish entitlement from here.

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

Nah. I think she would've asked the same thing: *that OP abandons his children for her.* 😬

[@Gumbier_Than]

That was such a lame excuse. 🙄

[@joaolima7131]

That's such BS excuse even if it wasn't Op daughter, this wasn't only her wedding, the groom have as much saying as her

[@singer2be256]

I was a junior bride's maid at my mom and stepdad's wedding. We even had my stepdad make some sort of fatherly vow where I got a sort of wedding bracelet. Our relationship is complicated, but he tries. Posts like this make me realize how good I actually have it.

[@jablue4329]

You know, sometimes I read a title like this and try to imagine how tf the exclusion is ok. This time, it's just a step-mom to be showing she'd be a step-monster. Edit: holy moly. Bullet dodged

[@jameslyons6655]

Story two. Good for OP backing up his wife. New babies are a ton of work and especially demanding on breastfeeding moms. If she fell asleep like that it’s because she is absolutely exhausted. His mom bypassed a great opportunity to be kind, supportive and helpful and squandered it in a self indulgent fit that shows her to be petty and judgmental. They should go LC at the minimum.

[@clarehidalgo]

My biggest concern was why they had the newborn so far away from the guestroom they were staying in, like none of this would have happened if they'd kept the baby in the same room as them, that is not denying that OP's mom is a big AH though

[@mtimm9023]

Story three divorce. If your partner causes you harm bye

[@AndyyWithAY]

Niece: Tits, auntie? Here's your shirt. Good morning, what's for breakfast? 😂😂 Out of the mouths of babes. Niece is adorable and the MVP.

[@soralinklokidottirprincess10]

That kid is more mature then her uncle’s mother.

[@TigersandBearsOhMy]

That's a stupid thing to say. She's not mature, she just has zero concept of social norms or basic house guest etiquette. When my cousin was five, he whipped his pants down and peed on the side of the road in front of a dozen cars while we were waiting for a train to pass. Was he mature too? Or did he just not know any better? The wife is weirdly inappropriate and needs to learn how to properly behave in someone else's house. It's completely inexcusable behavior from a grown ass woman. MIL did not consent to being exposed to someone else's naked body, and should not have been made to feel uncomfortable in her own home because OP's wife couldn't be F'ed to put her shirt back on. And yeah, I've been an exhausted mother too. She made a choice.

[@itme154]

​@@TigersandBearsOhMy The entire point is how the kid handled it. She didn't care because it's not something to care about. The mother chose that as her hill to die on, it's as pathetic as you are. Even if the mother didn't condone her actions, like what how every single person, then she should still handle it with more grace. If I see my DIL passed out on the floor, I'm checking her pulse then grabbing a blanket. It's really funny how y'all have such a massive hard on when the DIL made an innocent mistake but when the MIL harassed her about it for hours then respect just isn't a concept in your tiny mind. Why is that? Why does it only go one way? Is it maybe because you know she's autistic and you're finding a way to hate her?

[@sagejungwirth4155]

Person with ASD here- i think i can give some perspective on the update to the story. ASD can be very finicky from person to person and ops wife sounds similar to me in the sense that when my usual sleep pattern is disrupted, i find it incredibly difficult to reset back to normal and stop feeling tired all day long. If only it were as simple as getting caught up on sleep, but often times its not. This may sound like an odd symptom for autism, but ASD is a disorder that effects the brain and that means many different senses can be affected (ex- the 5 sense but also things like your sense of balance, how hot or cold you feel, even senses like hunger or fullness or wether or not you can feel the urges that let you know you need to use the toilet) so its not really a strech that ops wifes circadian rhythm might be out of wack right now.

[@sammieh9695]

Story 1 makes me so proud! So many parents turn a blind eye when their partner mistreats their children. It starts out exactly like Ops ex did, they are kind and get along with the kids, at least in front of the parent. Op dodged the biggest bullet! I'm never going to marry her dad legally, but my stepdaughter is one of my kids, I would never ask him to reduce his time with her, I love that we get her every weekend. I love her just as much as my boys, she's the daughter I never had.

[@kelleygreengrass]

Man the redditor who says its not too exhausting to wake up in the middle of the night to get dressed after has obviously never had to do it. It's not a big deal at all and everyone freaking out is just a AH

[@DamienXXI]

Some people don't understand what it means to be truly exhausted: when you are so tired that you are on autopilot and just go through the motions without any conscious thought

[@owenfautley]

​@@DamienXXIThen why was the baby in the living room and not with the parents in the guest room at night then.

[@pragatisingh8467]

@@owenfautley i seriously dont understand this. How are you this level of exhausted but still making the effort to put the baby in a different room and go there to nurse every single time, even in a guest's house.

[@pandytrashpanda5685]

​@@owenfautleySome babies are incredibly light sleepers, and some people snore, get up to pee several times at night, toss and turn, etc.

[@simonO712]

I know right?

[@Raggmopp-xl7yf]

5 years. FIVE YEARS this woman pulled the wool over this man's eyes. Thank God she showed her true colors before the wedding. What a massive bullet dodged.

[@shylavender]

What an evil excuse for a woman. So glad OP got out of there! Poor P 😢 Also what the f*** is wrong with MIL!? What kind of mother would EVER think HE is “being unreasonable” in choosing his own child!? He’s a fantastic parent. I can see where ex-fiancée gets her nastiness from!

[@clarehidalgo]

Story 2: OP is the AH for dragging his wife into this situation. I understand wanting to reconcile but staying at his mom's house for 3-5 days with a 6 month old and a wife who isn't doing well due to sleep issues was an absolutely terrible idea. He should have postponed until wife was better. It is also concerning how he is acting like how often she seems to pass out is normal, he needs to take his wife to a doctor. OP's mom is also an AH for how she reacted but I blame OP the most

[@MarcelaElviraTimis]

Op's wife might have an autistic burnout... that's a thing.

[@toothless3835]

The wife wanted to reconcile. So he was doing as she asked. I don't think he's an ass.

[@D-M-K-1-2]

All I needed was to read the title to know that this is gonna be a doozy

[@AryonaSamoto]

Story 1: what a terrible woman, I'm so glad OP found out before marrying her. Keep being an awesome dad OP🙌 Story 2: OP's mom sounds exhausting. I hope OP and his wife keep putting distance between them because the mom doesn't sound like the type of person anyone wants around their children. Story 3: OP needs to run far and fast away from these people. Her parents sound abusive and toxic and because of her upbringing she ended up with a man who is exactly like them. She needs to put herself and her children first or her children will end up in a similar/worse situation in the future.

[@Swnsasy]

Guess what? It takes TWO PEOPLE to get married so you damn sure best believe BOTH have a say! There was absolutely NOTHING in our wedding that my husband and I didn't pick TOGETHER! This was OUR day and not once did I say, MY WEDDING... My son walked me down the aisle both of my daughters, his sister my bridesmaid... He asked about his sister and absolutely because he wanted her in OUR wedding... Nta... Time to have a talk! ETA Update: WTF?! WTF? WTF?! OMGOSH 5 YEARS SHE HID THAT!?! WTF

[@catherinetiernan5888]

There is Nothing more exhausting than looking after a new born. Just go home and bring up your child in the peace and quiet and comfort of your own home.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 I was wondering how it was kosher for the wife to be half naked in the public living room. But, she was breast feeding. It's such yikes for a fellow mother to behave this way. A lot of people sexualize breasts, but she was literally just using them for their biological purpose. She just sounds extremely exhausted. I'm not one for random nudity, but I wouldn't lose my 💩

[@ebbss4]

But in her underwear ? Cmon now, it wasn’t her house. Shouldn’t shouldn’t have been more decent than that

[@paden1865able]

Makes me think the husband was bottle fed. My mil was a total c u next Tuesday when I was breastfeeding our son when she'd visit us in our home, I literally had to lock my bedroom door and put a block under it to keep her out so she couldn't try to physically interfere. My husband came home unexpectedly the last time she was doing this and he actually grabbed her by her collar and threw her out, telling her not to come back until she grew up.

[@GiordanDiodato]

@@ebbss4 oh screw off, do you want the baby to starve?

[@owl7072]

​​​@@ebbss4yes in her underwear. I have two friends who have a two year old together, I've been friends with them since before the pregnancy even occurred. Shit's _stressful_ and you're tired a lot. Her being in a new place, and likely being sleep deprived to some degree, paired with what sounds like her being in auto pilot mode after hearing her _baby_ cry, she likely _genuinely_ wasn't fully aware of where she was. I would literally never react the way this woman did cause while I don't have any kids, I've _seen_ the toll it takes. I've also had multiple cases of sleep walking before where I went to sleep in my room and woke up in the living room, it happens.

[@Nevertoleave]

@@ebbss4 it was the middle of the night. She probably heard the baby and while half asleep got up, fed him, put him down, and just went, I’ll just lay down for a minute while he’s settling down, and fell asleep with zero thought about how she was dressed. If she was more awake she likely would have been fully dressed. I almost always made it back to my bed but those late night feedings (like 3 am) were mostly just like stumbling around and waking up hours later not remembering even putting the baby safely back to bed and thinking you dropped them. Definitely woke up at least once in the nursing chair we kept in the nursery in a late night panic because I went, I’ll just rest for a moment after putting baby back to bed. I know a few times in those sleep deprived days not being able to remember if I brushed my hair, ate that day, or realizing my clothing was on backwards. Some days I’d almost answer the door half naked because those first few months are only getting to sleep for an hour or two at a time max

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 2: NTA Thank you so very much for defending your wife, and please, I think that it is time to go NC with your mother. It sounds to me that your mother will come up with the tiniest of excuses to berate and belittle your wife. Mom is probably jealous that she is no longer the center of your attention. Congratulations on your newest family addition. Edit: I have a huge smile on my face. Give your niece a big hug from me. The innocence of children vs the creepiness of adults: children win.

[@eldeano9964]

Story 1: A bridezilla and a JNMiL in one?. Double whammy. MiL expected op to give up his daughter for hers?, yet didn't see the irony or empathise.

[@umbrasunbro2142]

Story 3: I’m surprised no one said this (if they didn’t) but I think the real issue is having OP’s parents around her husband. He’s an addict and from what it sounds like he at least is trying to get better. The parents, however are not only addicts themselves but enablers, especially the one with the gambling addiction that’s going with the husband. Even without an addiction it’s hard to do what’s right when someone is encouraging you to do what you want in the moment instead. If OP works this out with her husband keeping him away from the parents and getting him professional help should be priority number one

[@thtlonelyguyify]

LOL the first story , I as a child free man would NEVER ask a potential partner to see their child less . As a partner to someone with a kid you ALWAYS come second. Even me someone in my 20’s knows that.

[@ComaLies225]

Story 2: I low key feel like the mom in this story just wanted a reason to complain. I mean sure, I get not a lot of people are comfortable seeing that which is understandable but OPs wife did apologize

[@rogerrabbit80]

OP and wife ought to tell MIL "Sorry, but since baby is breastfed and the sight of wife's boobs upsets you so much, it's best for your mental health that you don't see baby." See how she likes that!

[@sonialinsey8083]

There’s breastfeeding and then there’s this. You don’t need to remove your entire shirt to pop a boob out. I guess I’m just not cut out for Reddit because I would not appreciate finding a topless family member in my living room. Wear pajamas when you’re a guest, don’t travel until midnight feeding is no longer a thing. She did it AGAIN in front of a child…that’s just fucking weird, I hope they lock their doors at night or she’s gonna end up arrested. If you have autism that bad you shouldn’t be raising kids.

[@RJLiams]

@@rogerrabbit80 That would be actively twisting the situation. Was it the boobs or the woman in nothing but her underwear asleep in the MIL's house?

[@cl5470]

Mom wants to end the relationship but wants to be able to tell her ahole old lady friends that it wasn't her fault. She was probably the kind of mom who drank while pregnant and scoffed at carseats. You know, a moron.

[@tidycats151]

Maybe Mom was tired of hosting and the naked DIL was the last straw. No reason to be an ass about it. Could have just been honest and said "It's been great seeing you guys. You're heading back today, right? Lots to do and Ive hit my limits with naked DILs,& screaming babies you don't keep in your room for fast feeding." At 8 months that kid should be sleeping through the night. Don't understand why baby wasn't sleeping in their room. Sounds like MIL should have insisted they keep kiddo with them. Only parents get woken up & Mom can nurse in bed. No one but hubs has to lose sleep or see naked wife.

[@gH-bo9kd]

I told my husband i wont die out of spite till my kids are 18. I wont have another person over my children. Long con they wait till they think they got you locked in then bam true intentions.

[@falxblade1352]

That yta in story 2 was literally the dumbest comment i have ever have the displeasure of reading

[@quartzskull8772]

I mean at the end of the day she was technically nude in the mother's house, I'm not taking sides but it's not like the yta votes have no ground

[@GiordanDiodato]

not the dumbest to me, but agree it's certainly up there.

[@quartzskull8772]

@@GiordanDiodato yeah, sure she handled it badly but there's nothing wrong with not wanting nudity in your living room (not consisting of her feeding the baby)

[@4swordsluver]

She said it once there was absolutely no need to harp on it, especially considering the wife was already embarrassed about it. It clearly was an accident

[@clarehidalgo]

I think the whole crux of the issue is the baby should have been in the guestroom with OP and wife instead of in the communal place of the living room, that wasn't limiting risks of OP's mom being weird by doing that

[@ravenfox926]

S2: As a former nursing mom, I can concur that breast feeding a new baby is EXHAUSTING. I fell asleep in odd places (middle of the floor or with my feet on the couch, while the rest of me was passed out on the floor, baby on my chest, tits out) and no one cared. It's ONLY a big deal if you MAKE it a big deal.

[@tamitami9275]

Yep! Me too, and I shared a place with my husband and two male roommates, they would just cover me with a blanket, and be quiet to not wake me. LOL

[@tinapetrovicz9741]

OMG! I remember falling asleep in a living chair in the middle of the day with my daughter feeding. Woke up startled, but glad my baby didn't fall off my lap. New moms can totally be that exhausted.

[@milescoburn1845]

It wasn't a new baby. It had been six months since the birth. Plus, in the update, she did it AGAIN two months later. Mothers and babies usually fall into a rhythm of feedings by that time. Also, it sounds like the only household duties the mom has is caring for the baby. Something else is going on for her to be so exhausted.

[@ravenfox926]

@@milescoburn1845 Remember, she's on the spectrum and people on the spectrum don't have the same habits, reactions or responses as neurotypical people.

[@terramarini6880]

@@milescoburn1845 She may have been getting up to feed baby while still actually asleep but semi awake the entire time she has had the baby. She has a sleep disorder is my suspicion (hypnagogia). Not a big deal, but an alarm on the door might be in order in case she sleepwalks right out onto the lawn to lie down.

[@thefallennero5265]

Story 1: Holiday visit only dad? Now I'm curious how he managed to not see any red flags in the entirety 5 year of the relationship. Lol also nice move taking her hand and pulling off the engagement ring before telling her to be moved out by next week.

[@user-mAfuNqrSe020x]

Not surprising. Some people are truly masters of disguise. I have an ex like that. I only found out their true nature a day before the wedding.

[@Araraki-Itto1]

Story 1: Ahhhh, always refreshing to see a father with a shiny gold spine who sticks up for their kids against the vile tyranny of their wicked partners. Good on him and good on his daughter. She's got one Hell of a dad. 😁

[@GiordanDiodato]

nah, gold is too soft of a metal it's more like a titanium spine

[@Araraki-Itto1]

@@GiordanDiodato That works too. 🤣

[@carlrood4457]

Nah, just a normal one made of bone. We've become so used to crappy parents, that we cheer when one actually acts like a parent. To quote Chris Rock: "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO!!"

[@Araraki-Itto1]

@@carlrood4457 Good point.

[@RuminatingRaptor]

@@carlrood4457 Exactly. He’s doing what any parent should do. It’s gross that him being a good parent is something refreshing instead of the norm.

[@cathyevans2160]

Geez f'ing Louise! A "holiday" only dad! Good on you OP for getting rid of this horrible woman and her mother. Ex fiance learned real quick.

[@Aziara86]

I feel for the lady in story 2. I have sensory issues sometimes and when I was breastfeeding, sometimes shirts were just TOO MUCH. Not only did they get in the way for feeding baby, but sometimes the fabric rubs if nipples get sore from poor latching. It's just baby-feeders MIL, I mean, why is she so offended about seeing boobs? I'd have just thrown a blanket over her (mostly because it's probably cold on the floor) and never mentioned it.

[@lostshadows768]

First story: If the MiL does come back, OP should ask her if she would have gone through with a marriage to someone who expected her to abandon her children.

[@ScooterBond1970]

She'd probably just say "tHaT's dIfFeReNt" then act like that wins the argument.

[@henryzellman]

Story 1: I love it when selfish nasty people accidentally reveal their true nature BEFORE the wedding. It's like tripping at the finishing line. Unfortunately, too many women hide their true intentions until after the wedding, expecting the husband is now her property

[@dragonrider1549]

Story 2 - I honestly don’t understand why so many people are so offended by boobs. Aside from that, I’m actually pretty concerned that the OP’s mom didn’t even check to see if the wife was ok. That would literally be my first instinct after finding someone on the floor.

[@RJLiams]

Sure it was boobs and not the fact that she was wearing nothing but underwear in the middle of her floor?

[@chryssesandchaos]

True, however, what if the wife does the same thing wherever they visit, would the husband still be okay if let's say, the wife does the same thing if they were visiting a friends house and the friend is a guy? What kind of man or husband is okay for his wife's boobs to be out in the open for everyone to see? But well, to each his own.

[@dragonrider1549]

@@chryssesandchaos guys that aren’t crazy possessive? They’re boobs, not genitals. As long as it’s accidental, I couldn’t care less if someone saw my partners boobs. Besides, guys go topless all the time, and no one bats an eye. Also talking about what if’s in a situation like this is absolutely pointless.

[@tinapetrovicz9741]

I have seen most of my friends breastfeed their babies. My husband and other male friends were often present as well. Nobody got uptight, it is a baby getting fed. Funny story, my friend was feeding her youngest and the baby let go just as her milk let down. It squirted on a male friend who had just come in closer to say hi. We all laughed, as he said "I thought it only came out of one hole (like a bottle) that thing is like a sprinkler. "

[@chryssesandchaos]

@@dragonrider1549 Yeah, you're absolutely right. My bad. Coz all people should have the same opinion about boobs.

[@starbird3939]

Story 1 - NTA OP is a good dad for keeping his daughter in his life and loving her. S is waving red flags-excluding her future step daughter, taking full control of the wedding and claiming it is HER wedding, siccing her mom on OP. And yeah « doesn’t fit her aesthetic » sounds gross. This would be an instant break up.

[@AndyyWithAY]

So yesterday I went out to use my last birthday coupon . Food was great, had a lovely waiter. Then he brings out the free birthday cheesecake which I was NOT expecting. It had that top they put on it with the fire torch. I can't think of the name right now. Then suddenly heavy rain. Like a downpour. I'm like where did this rain random come from? Then I remember I'm inside. A leak has sprung right over my table. The waiter was so apologetic. He sent the manager over. He asked if there was anything they could do. I just said more cheesecake. So I got more free cheesecake. What a lovely time 👍🏾😌🎉💖

[@WhiteWolf-lm7gj]

Creme brulee?

[@MarkNarrations]

Keep the cheesecake coming!!! 😋

[@luciferandassociates9255]

Story 1: What of Loon of a woman! Nooooo What the hell. Throw her away! Story 2: I can see why OP doesn't have a relationship with his mother. She out here making mountains out of molehills.

[@becauselifts9913]

Story 1: Outstanding! Decisive and firm kick to the ass of that heartless fiancee.

[@kateemma22]

OP1 is dad goals. Yes king, defend the number 1 girl in your life.

[@teasil3701]

If they were to be married, the fiancee already sounds like toxic step-mom, not hiding the fact that she doesnt like the child.

[@linkinlady06]

Honestly what kind of effed-up human being comes out of their mouth and actually tells someone that you were hoping that they would become the "holiday only dad" and deliberately keep a father from seeing their child? She definitely pulled the wool over his eyes but at least it was perfect timing for her to show exactly who she was to OP. I'm a single mom of a three-year-old me and my son are a package deal and if anyone has a problem with that they don't deserve to be in our lives

[@InvasionAnimation]

What a pathetic man in the last story. He unplugged the cameras to cheat btw. I bet he was never gambling. He was funding his sugar baby. (I'm not familiar with the word for the long term street walker of a sugar daddy/mama.)

[@ceeshnia]

He probably did unplug them to cheat, and maybe even sell some stuff off. I don't doubt he was gambling, as he clearly has an addiction according to the story, and her father I think it was, who is also addicted to gambling, went with. She needs to leave this relationship and leave the area asap; these people are not good influences on the children.

[@InvasionAnimation]

@@ceeshnia ikr

[@LordSeal7]

He went into the casino tho

[@s.d.berard7518]

Coffee and waffles! Yummy! 💚😺 EDIT: That last story scared me! OP better get over there and grab all their stuff before it’s sold and gambled off!

[@MarkNarrations]

Enjoy 😀

[@Athlynne]

YAY first OP, you're a good dad and you dodged a MASSIVE bullet.

[@zerofate9669]

Story 1 Glad op left her for good. Story 2 Now Im a SAHM and I will tell you babies will drain you faster than bills to your house. I been sleep deprived many time with my 1st born daughter. I had PPD but didnt take pills as I was breast-feeding and worried about the pills affecting the milk. I tolerated and soon broke down in the middle of the night, told my husband to take her while I walked straight out the house at 3am with basic clothes and a winter jacket. I didnt come back til about 30mins sleeping OUTSIDE against a wooden fence for a golf course on the ground. I was tired, drained, exhausted, pissed off, had horrible thoughts about killing my own child I wanted from start to finish. Setting up 10 to 14 alarms for feedings, diaper change, household work, etc, any bloody soul would be worn out from all the exhaustion they have to do. I understand your wife 100% op. Your mother is the one with the problem. If she fails to understand that your wife is going in basic autopilot with sleep deprive, she doesnt even understand or has no understanding. 1st time mom/dad/parents always gonna struggle, make mistakes, or have problems, its natural and normal. After learning and having a well support system and family to help, it gets easier as time goes by. Right now Im at a point where I can now do everything I need to do and have more time than I thought. Parenthood isnt over for me, but its gonna get harder as the years go by, but this is what I signed up for and willing to stick to it for her.

[@kanelovec4315]

The mask that women had to put on to trick op and op's kid. She hated the kid for 5 years. I now question how far she would have gone to push something not in her image out her life. What if op has a hobby she doesn't like or part of the house she hates?

[@maeahem]

Story 1: I had a suspicion as to OP’s thankfully ex fiancée’s motives, when he mentioned there was nothing atypical about his child to not “fit” into the wedding; that the woman didn’t want her presence so people don’t associate her new husband with any past life before her. That she managed to hide her intentions for 6 years and play nice with the daughter while seething with resentment is something else. And of course there’s a nosy unreasonable MIL. He was a good judge of character once she showed herself and responded admirably and quickly.

[@sandeesandwich2180]

S1: The term "bullet dodged" was made for this story. Good on OP for having his priorities straight. S2: I agree OP's mom handled it badly, but I gotta say I don't understand why OP's wife has to completely take her shirt off to nurse. I mean that's the beauty of a tee shirt that you can just lift it up. I guess it has something to do with her neurodivergence and perhaps sensory issues. S3: If the shoe fits.....

[@Human-kb6xc]

Story 2: that's what I'm trying to figure out. I completely understand if the wife is exhausted. But the situation on her end seems a bit extreme. I personally wouldn't be too pleased if I woke up and a GUEST in my home was asleep in their underwear only on my living room floor. When you stay at someone else's home even your sleep clothes change. I'll sleep in my underwear at home but if I'm anywhere else, I take shorts or something. It's courtesy.

[@Kris-wo4pj]

​@@Human-kb6xci dont think ya guys know what slrep depervation is. I do i experienced it and dealt with someone experiencing it theres no logic like just lift the shirt to feed the kid. Its lift the shirt then take it off cuz 99.99% of the time when ya lift your shirt its to take it off. Youre running off basic instincts not logical reasoning or planning skills. Im surprised she was conherent enough to put the baby back into their cot. Also if your first move is to not check to make sure the half naked guest who is family by the way is okay and doesnt need medical treatment that says more about ya and i would suggest not to have guests over your place in the near future until ya can work out your issues. If i see ny half naked daughter in law passed out on the floor im going to freak out cuz i think she collasped and had a medical emergency not start screaming like the mil did.

[@RuminatingRaptor]

@@Kris-wo4pjAnd autistic people are more prone to having chronic sleep problems. You have a lot of sense and compassion.

[@RuminatingRaptor]

@@Human-kb6xc She’s an exhausted mother looking after a baby. Maybe try some understanding and compassion, instead of being so judgmental.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

​@@RuminatingRaptorThat is very true, people with any mental disorder, especially autism which also can have anxiety symptoms, makes sleeping very hard, and that coupled with a newborn? You're gonna go on autopilot and pass out somewhere

[@Azulakayes]

Story 2: I wonder where the YTA redditors are from and maybe if that's what makes them so prudish about breastfeeding. I am an African and in my homecountry women just pop boobs in babies' mouths anytime, in buses, at the market, on a queue. Even in church. If the baby is too small or the weather is bad and they are outside, thats when they cover up. Its hilarious how different cultures work. Because I am biased, I breastfed my 3 kids including a set of twins who made me feel like a zombie and my Asian FIL used to be super-embarrassed by it in the past, I cant judge this story fairly.

[@ceeshnia]

It used to be not such an issue in the United States, but then more mothers went to work and were using formula, and somewhere along the lines breasts were full on sexualized, instead of people remembering what their actual function is. Back when women were basically required to cover more of themselves here, was it less of an issue to breastfeed. The prudish behavior and control issues are ridiculous to say the least.

[@dandotvid]

The first comment gave a good reason though. They were guests in the house. The homeowner decides what is acceptable behavior in their home.

[@clarehidalgo]

I think ESH but that only slight AH towards the wife, AH towards OP and his mom and it has nothing to do with the breastfeeding. Why visit Op's mom to try and "reconcile" if his wife isn't feeling well? Why have the baby in a different room, if OP knows his mom is weird and doesn't trust her? Why try to excuse Wife's behavior with her disability, like it can be an explanation but should never be used as an excuse. I'm also autistic and sometimes clothes bother me but when I'm a guest at someone's house I try to be on my best behavior and be aware of any habits that will bother others. Why is OP not getting his wife help for the clear sleep disorder stuff she is experiencing? Why wasn't OP helping more with the baby if his wife was clearly struggling?

[@CanyonALynn]

Story 1: Listen, if you don't want to be a step parent or have anything to do with your SO's child(ren)... ...DON'T. GET. INVOLVED. WITH. SINGLE. PARENTS!! JFC. 😑

[@ForsetisStenographer]

THIS.

[@cycymaca]

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE EX-FIANCE IN THE BACK!!!

[@viktoriak4332]

Frankly I feel like EAH for op to come sleep deprived and impose onto into the mother's house and taking two rooms at that. Obiusly when having a child whos not even able to sleep through the whole night isnt the time to impose on others. And the mother for not having a shred of empathy for a person passed out and half naked laying on the ground. She could of bin hurt for God sakes.

[@horsemaddd]

Story 1. I fist-pumped when Dad took the ring off. What a guy. Total hero, well done that man.

[@jeanproctor3663]

Story 1 - Good on OP! I would have worried if he had thought otherwise. I'm glad he ditched the witch. Story 2 - Hard NTA, but OP's mother is! Story 3 - OP is definitely NTA. Her husband is a total dick and so are her parents. His behaviour is very disturbing.

[@bria-daniellewilliams6843]

I can only imagine The way that woman would have treated his daughter if they would’ve got married. Disgusting!

[@Nevertoleave]

Story 2. Nta. I’ve been that tired. I’ve gotten up, fed the baby, put her down in her crib, went back to bed only to wake up and freak out because couldn’t find the baby because I didn’t remember putting the baby in her crib. I’ve fallen asleep while pumping and woken up sitting up at the couch with my hand red from the angle of propping my head up.

[@Nevertoleave]

If she’s still tired after getting more help then she should see her doctor for some blood work. I was low on iron after my first and it made things a lot worse. Getting iron pills helped with day time fog. Night time was still the woken up from sleep, half awake state. But the day time got a lot better

[@Npyne]

1 minute into story 1 and I know for definite that OP is NTA. Kinda figured he would be from the title though. edit: what the fuck?! Who TF thinks "now we're going to get married,you can get rid of your kid"? OP dodged a bullet. What an ankle. Thank god she showed her true colours before the wedding.

[@MsTemptation]

S2:YTA. This wasn’t your house it was your mother’s house. Why didn’t you put the baby in the room with you instead of in the living room of your mom’s house. Autism doesn’t give your wife an excuse to do what she did. Plus comparing the actions of the niece who was in your home when this scenario repeated itself isn’t the same. It’s one thing to see your own family member naked but entirely different seeing the wife of your husband naked and passed out on the living room floor. It probably scared the shit out of your mom and not every one show’s weakness in the face of fear. Some get angry or annoyed.

[@mattpedia1933]

When i married my wife, my stepson was the ring bearer and stepdaughter was a flower girl. I cannot imagine excluding them from something like that. Even 3 years later they still talk about it like it was this really awesome party they got to be a part of. Some people are just insane

[@jakemarie828]

What does "she wouldn't fit the part" even mean? Is S judging P's appearance? Sounds like the line of an evil stepmother. Edit: yeah no this is not OP being hasty this is S pulling a shadow ultimatum "once you have me, you won't need her." Absoultely attrocious. People like S should not be around children.

[@DrKeroro]

The audacity! On the bright side, a father daughter trip to Hawaii will create lovely memories for OP and P.

[@catherinecox573]

OP is awesome and he dodged two bullets if you count the MIL lol

[@BritInvLvr]

The update in story one took me back! I could not even imagine being that heartless. When my husband moved in with me, I put up pictures of his kids straight away because I wanted him to know that not only was I welcoming him into my home but his children as well.