Fiancee Is Giving Me AN ULTIMATUM, Let Her Parents Move In Or Wedding Is Off r/Relationships

[@adamlasher]

They’re going to move into your house and cause your marriage to fall apart and they will try to seize ownership of your house in the divorce so just skip all that and find a better woman.

[@lynnw7155]

Everyone seems to forget that he wants HIS parents to move in with them also. Personally I don't think newlyweds should have ANYONE's parents living with them.

[@yamairad1]

​@@lynnw7155 Totally agree, but she really isn't in a situation to give demands. She should only say she doesn't want to live with anybody else. Imagine newlyweds living with 2 set of parents. That sounds like hell.

[@owl7072]

​@@lynnw7155honestly I agree, but at the same time, him wanting to move his parents in is more understandable than her wanting to move hers in when you consider the fact that his parents have been nothing but kind and welcoming since the beginning whereas hers actively tried to sabotage everything and told him to his face that they hate him 💀 if _anyone's_ parents are gonna be moving in for _whatever_ reason then the more logical (and safer) choice is Op's parents, not the ones who have disrespected and tried to chase him out at every given opportunity.

[@Davtwan]

OP has his guard up at least. His fiancé can’t claim he didn’t try if they relationship fizzles out.

[@GMAMEC]

Considering that they are having difficulties before the marriage, I am not sure if they are truly ready for a long term relationship.

[@justinchristoph3725]

Story 1: If you feel better when she's not with you... then under no circumstances should you marry her.

[@kemonono]

exactly my thoughts, bro needs to get out and find someone else

[@vlugovsky]

D@mn! That suggestion would also work with a dating partner!

[@chinaking918]

Ijs that’s the biggest flag of any color one can see that you’re not compatible. 😂

[@cathymurphy7922]

Absolutely!

[@JayeEllis]

@@vlugovsky My Mother always said, 'you should be better together than you are apart.' Never truer words. If you're happier away from your partner, what are you really building together?

[@Erebus04]

I think the biggest sign that the OP is in a bad relationship is the fact that he feels like talking to his dead grandfather is the better place and not his fiance speaks volumes

[@colleens1107]

I was originally gonna say OP should talk to his fiancé and agree to no parents move in. But then he got into what her parents did. I’m sorry but no woman is worth having people who actively try to sabotage your relationship in your life. You don’t just marry your SO, you marry the family. And if she’s not willing to stand up for you, your life will be miserable. Woman of your dreams? The woman of your dreams would tell her parents in no uncertain terms that this behavior will stop and set boundaries. She’s not. Find a woman who respects you and whose family respects you

[@nela3986]

Even if they weren't nasty sh*TS, he is providing the house and the money. He has no obligation to let other people mooch off him. If she wants to accommodate her parents, she should pay for it. To even think he should do it "bEcAuSe ThEy ArE fAmIlY" is rediculous.

[@pragatisingh8467]

@@nela3986 I agree with the comments on this story but you're clearly reaching. The guy works a fucking retail job and he didn't say gf wasn't a working woman. Welcome to the 21st century, just because he's a man doesn't mean he's bringing home all the money.

[@nela3986]

@@pragatisingh8467 did he read the same story? He quit his HIGHT PAYING JOB to take care of his loaded grandfather. You know, the same who left him a ton of money. So much he is taking classes to not be a stupid arse and waste it all away? And he said it more than once that it was HIM buying the house. He had already more money than her before this and after this certainly. I don't really care for your opinion on twisted arse feminism if it implies the guy has to put up with this crap just because he is the man. Sounds far more like last century attitude to me, with enough opportunism in the mix to make you a hypocrite.

[@samiulhuda4001]

@@pragatisingh8467 doesnt matter what he works. he left a high paying job to take care of his grandparent. and the house is his inheritance. and doesnt matter how he is providing point is he is

[@terriwetz6077]

@@pragatisingh8467 Did you miss the part where he inherited a huge house and a load of money?

[@carolsh1983]

Yeah, the tiara and the tule with the white is what puts the outfit over the top. It she had worn a regular white dress, I’d have given her the benefit of the doubt. But not in a princess gettup.

[@kentario1610]

I completely agree. If it'd been a white sundress that she finds more flattering for herself than whatever was chosen by everyone, it'd be merely insensitive, but white tulle and tiara? No.

[@KarmikCykle]

Story 2: NTA. NEVER wear white to someone else's wedding or wedding-adjacent celebrations unless you have explicit permission from whoever's actually getting married. Especially with a frigging tiara!

[@shebakoby]

OMG OP is squarely in "Sunk Cost Fallacy" Mode in the update. "After six years..." *facepalm* . Also I find it disturbing that the fiance can't see her way to at least recognizing that it's her PARENTS that need to make any overtures of peace, NOT OP. BUT I'm not surprised as fiance was raised by them and her definition of normal is surely broken as she was raised by narcissists. OP should impress upon fiance that it's up to her to deal with her parents, and that it's up to her parents, not OP, to "mend" the relationship. OP can't mend anything if the fiance's parents are not even on board.

[@robertx8020]

I'm afraid that as soon as OP is married, she will stab him in the back and force him to take her parents in

[@NoOne-fo1di]

Can you imagine how insufferable the parents would be once they actually moved in? They would treat him like shit and he wouldn't be able to even say a word because gf will always take their side.

[@gordybrown3667]

So she gave an ultimatum or she'd call off the wedding, then got upset when he called her bluff and called the wedding off himself 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@BW022]

No. He postponed it. He should have called it off entirely along with ending the relationship, asking for the ring back, and telling her that he'll be moving on and that there is no need to maintain any future contact. As clean a break with minimum drama. Instead, he postponed the wedding, is still in contact with her, subject to getting blamed, dealing with drama, things will only get worse, unable to move on, having to avoid his on fiancée, etc.

[@MrBeevee5]

Delayed the wedding.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

@@MrBeevee5 I know he phrased it nicely, but he's falling into the sunk cost fallacy. They're going to be ruling his life and draining him, all while making him miserable. He's still young. This is why you get into life goals earlier in the relationship to figure out ultimate compatibility. And it's not just what they say, but what they do that counts. She's trying to hitch you up to the Debt Donkey rig, don't fall for it.

[@TheHellsHobbit]

Story 1 Time to say bye bye, her parents will control the marriage. Dump the child and find an adult.

[@whitneybennett4857]

Just imagine how much s*** will hit the fan if and when they finally have an actual child. When (not IF) they got divorced, you better believe in no time flat, they'd be turning that kid against him.

[@paden1865able]

Not going to lie, when my mil and HER mother planned on living with us, I started to pack up to move back in with my dad. I loved his grandmother but no way was I having his mom under the same roof as me. He put his foot down and told her that it wasn't happening and he was choosing me and our unborn child always and forever.

[@kentario1610]

Now that's a supportive spouse enforcing a reasonable boundary!

[@karendaniel620]

Story 2: I have this meeting and will meet you there? Shows up like a bride. This was planned out.

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

They’ve been rude and disrespectful towards him since the beginning. Didn’t even give their blessing to their wedding. Whereas his parents were nice to her. Although he suggested his parents moving in and laughed when she suggested the same thing. It’s understandable since her parents suck. So him moving his parents in is far different to her moving her parents in. They don’t even need help. She just wants them to move in because she likes the idea.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

More of a “if you move your parents in, I am moving mine in too” scenario. She sucks if that’s the way she feels because she already knows how her parents treat him and wouldn’t think twice about putting him in the line of fire “every f*ing day”. She hasn’t been on the end of foul treatment, so she doesn’t sympathize. Maybe he should have his parents treat her like crap just for one day and see how she reacts. If she cries, then he can say now you know how I feel!

[@pragatisingh8467]

more like being spiteful and vengeful for no reason. "if you do it I would too'. There's literally no other logic. How childish.

[@ronhall5395]

Big house why not? Lol. If her parents move in I give the marriage six months tops. Her ultimatum seems out of character, but maybe he just never noticed how much she manipulates him. He has as good plan. I would recommend that none of the parents move in. It sucks having your In laws in the same house.. I liked mine, and they liked me but living with them almost destroyed our marriage.

[@michaelplunkett8059]

Tell her - In the words of your father, "Not in my lifetime".

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

@@ronhall5395 No house would be big enough for me to put myself in a situation to be ridiculed every day!

[@AndyyWithAY]

Most bachelorette's have a theme. So if she somehow missed all the messages about the theme, SHE SHOULD HAVE ASKED. I can only conclude it was intentional and OP showed her she had the wrong one. You love to see it

[@Its2l84Lalu]

This, for my Bach, we all went to the mall together and picked out our outfits for the evening. I told my bridesmaids to find something cute and green, and I found a nice white little dress. We all wore very different outfits and each bridesmaid got to express their personality in their fits, but you could tell I was the bride. Unfortunately I never got to share those photos due to some friendship-ending drama that happened immediately after the party, but they would have been great.

[@MrBeevee5]

If anyone other color, then I might agree that she failed to get the memo. This was deliberate.

[@lydianelson7737]

A tiara? Really? Does she really go around wearing tiaras to every event? 🤨

[@TriXJester]

Story 1: When presented with an ultimatum always go for the choice that's against the person providing it, because in the end if you go with the choice you know you hate, that plants the seeds of resentment, and once those are planted in your relationship they can only grow into bigger problems. No relationship, no matter how good it feels in the moment, is worth living in misery.

[@benny2125]

I'll never understand why people make their life hard. The parents hate his guts and he's going to regret it if they move in. 6 years vs a lifetime nightmare and he's thinking the latter...christ

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 John is the biggest AH here. Who TF asks for their GF not even the wife to be a bridesmaid. I just think asking to be in a wedding party is almost always AH behavior. Sarah is an AH too and she proved why OP didn't want her, but had John not done what he did she couldn't have done what she did.

[@darkmage9252]

I have been Jack Sparrow'ed

[@Lordofthelosers01]

I have this weird feeling that John will try to propose to his GF at OP's wedding.

[@hiro4344]

Saaaame. When she mentioned him wanting to propose soon and wanting the gf in the wedding party it sounded sus. And then the dress made it more sus. Something about it all *Shakes head.*

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

​@@hiro4344 Jup. And now the brother is mad at OP cuz she kicked her out of the wedding, making his plan fail.

[@shadowkissed2370]

He probably asked because gf demanded he asks and threw a tantrum that someone else would be walking with him if she wasn't a bridesmaid.

[@shebakoby]

THIS IS NOT THE WOMAN OF YOUR DREAMS, OP. (Story 1) SHE IS THE WOMAN OF YOUR NIGHTMARES. The mask will slip farther than it already has! For the love of all that is holy OP, DO NOT SELL YOUR SOUL TO THIS DEMON-IN-THE-SACK!

[@PrimateProductions]

And she damn sure isn't the effing second coming of Christ!!

[@kp2223]

To be fair nightmares are also technically dreams

[@jaymevosburgh3660]

​@@PrimateProductions Unless by saying "second coming ov christ" he means that she is false and a liar 😂😂😂 Then it fits pretty well. Manipulative people are some ov the worst. I know I would never imagine having my parents move in with me and my new bride. So weird, and it will only create an instant strain on their new relationship. And if my parents were saying/doing terrible things towards my partner I would never allow them to move in with us. That's just asking for heartbreak and doom.

[@PrimateProductions]

@@jaymevosburgh3660 yep you are absolutely right

[@shebakoby]

@@PrimateProductions Antichrist, maybe.

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 2: NTA Dressed in white, AND wearing a freaking tiara, then having a tantrum when called out? Why is your brother getting married to a 2-year-old?

[@madambutterfly1997]

The fact that your fiance would still maintain contact with a family that actively tries to destroy her relationship with an otherwise decent person she's a ship person for wanting to keep them in her life despite all the Terrible Things they've done to you

[@amberleeannalee1999]

Her parents said they hate him and lied about OP why would she want those evil people in her marriage. Don’t marry that woman she’s a nightmare

[@lostshadows768]

The last story:I would bet decent money she's at least tried to convince the brother to propose during OP's wedding.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

Brother is stupid to put up with so much whining. He's taking the less resistance route but she will be making everyone's life miserable until she ends up with an even bigger wedding. My disdain for the big wedding syndrome remains. If the person you're with isn't excited to be with you and get hitched with minimal fanfare, honestly they are not the right one for you.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Marriage doesn't solve any problems, it just makes preexisting problems worse, like you put a microscope on them. There's already enormous issues. They're just delaying the inevitable. But, I can understand why he doesn't want to just throw in the towel on such a long relationship. That peace when you're apart is classic confirmation that a relationship should end.

[@MrBuns-yi2hk]

If it were me in story 1, the wedding would definitely be off.

[@kronos0316]

People don't let anyone move in with you when you get married. That will bring problems to your marriage.

[@BW022]

That's a blanket statement and not always true. If you have a great relationship with your in-laws, it isn't necessarily a problem. 1. Young couples might stay with one set of parents to save up money. 2. In some cities/countries, living with in-laws might be financially beneficial -- say if they are going to give you their apartment. 3. If you have young children, it can be a blessing to have in-laws there to provide childcare, help with meals, etc. 4. If your parents are older and need care it can be a lot better having them stay with you. Maybe a granny suite? 5. They may need someone to look after a house while they travel or have a large house (now that the kids are out), etc. etc. It depends on your relationship with them. Unlike most Reddit stories, most in-laws are typically pretty good. Multi-generational house used to be (and still are in some countries/cities) common.

[@linshannon4480]

Story #1: I don't see a happy ending for this couple, and OP definitely could use some grief counselling.

[@happyzahn8031]

"A tiara...A TIARA!" 🤣HAHAHA - that's exactly what I was thinking. Way over the line!

[@brianbarber5401]

Story 1: she’s not the one for OP. The simple fact that she refers constantly to “him rebuilding the relationship with them”, putting the responsibility for its current state on OP, rather than on them being awful, is telling. They’ll never come around, and she’s expecting OP to change/act/pretend in some way to be acceptable to them.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you, take a deep breath let it out slowly, and lower your shoulders. Know that you are important to someone even if you feel like no one loves you, guess what I do. I'm so proud of you being here. Thank you. Now make sure you take care of yourself and drink some water, eat something and take a stretch break.💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@maggpiprime954]

Hi, Broken 💕 Your words are like a hug from a best friend 🤗

[@TheVeggiekat]

Thank you ❤❤❤

[@cassandrasky5618]

Thank you. I needed this more than you could ever know💕🥹

[@whims6278]

❤🧡💛💚💙💜🫂

[@Russman67]

As I see it, if my in-laws didn't like me before the wedding, and my fiance was using the marriage as leverage to move people who don't like me into my house, then that would be a complete no-go for me. Full stop. She's already manipulating OP. She's likely manipulated him slightly in the other six years, just this time she upped the level.

[@ineedhoez]

Hell yeah...I don't believe in ultimatums, but if I did, this would not be the hill I would choose to die on.

[@calebhoffman6368]

Notice how the in-laws are only calling now that the meal ticket is walking away?? OP the fact of the matter is that your gf let her family treat you like garbage. They didn’t change their mind to try and contact you out of the goodness of their heart and cause they believe you are what’s right for there daughter. They want the steak meal.

[@BIGEAGLEDUDE]

With the first story the number one mistake you made was basically saying that you were considering moving your parents in knowing that your wife may want to do the same with her folks. In addition and let's be real here she's never going to let this go she literally wasn't thinking about it but the moment you came into that money she wanted to live a more comfortable lifestyle at your expense. She's not going to sign the prenup she's not going to do marriage counseling the way you wanted to be and she's not going to cut contact with her parents and if you go through with the wedding 6 months to a year down the road she will still have your children if you have children with her around those people because she's not going to cut them off completely. At this point she's basically giving him because she knows you're not going to budge but she's also the type of person that's like I want to be spoiled for once. At this point you just need to just throw in the towel because their relationship is not going to survive after this and no matter how much her parents don't like you she's going to take them over you because in my honest belief they will never see you as good enough for their daughter

[@BruinPhD2009]

Yeah, I feel sorry for OP, but he did open the door to this disaster.

[@webshiva]

OP’s idea of moving in his parents was an absurdly stupid idea. Of course, his fiancée would want her parents to be treated equally. Particularly since she most likely would end up being the primary caretaker for any children had plus his parents. His fiancée may like his parents on a social level but that doesn’t mean she wants to be wiping their butts as they age. It also sounds like OP’s fiancée supported him when he had nothing, but now that he has money he is demanding to make all the decisions for the two of them. While I understand he is overwhelmed by grief, if he tries to re-define his relationship on the basis of his wealth, he is going to end up alone. There is a good reason why people are advised to not make a major decision for a year (or two) after a loss - OP should ask his accountant to put the money in a secure spot for a couple years and go back to work in his career field.

[@BIGEAGLEDUDE]

@@webshiva that may be it he she picked up the slack financially and now she wants a break and now he's getting to dictate how the relationship is now that he's getting the money and more. This is not going to end well and I sure would like to know what she picking up the slack during the whole relationship or was she with him when he had nothing now he's got something she wants a change

[@nnicsu]

@@webshivaI’m a little confused why you’re assuming she would be taking care of his parents when he himself clearly took care of his own grandparents? Wouldn’t that suggest that he’s someone who would also care for his parents when the time comes? Potentially suggests he would be someone to care for the children too. You made a lot of assumptions that don’t really have any basis.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

I myself could never dream of having both sets of parents under one roof living as one big (happy?, I doubt it since her parents hate him) family! Sounds like a nightmare in the making. I listen to all of those text message stories on YT too and they are awful, with in laws moving in and making the young people miserable with their nasty behaviors. I would break up before I had to live with someone who despised me so much and never made a secret of it in front of others!!

[@mweathers79]

S1: I think moving either set of parents into your newlywed life and home is a ridiculous idea. You’re turning your parents into your kids. How would this work? Relationship is done for either way.

[@sardonically-inclined7645]

Story 1: Cave and the relationship would already be doomed. Even ignoring the precedent it sets, which no one should, they will doom it intentionally. Talk sense into her or let her go. There are no other paths where he will not lose more than he thought he would.

[@ilovesports5468]

Story 1: if he marries her he’d be A FOOL!

[@davenunyabusiness4893]

LOLOL...I would have been like "Really? Ok wedding is OFF!"

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Jeez all the parents moving in thatd be chaos

[@swisstroll3]

1st story: As mentioned in the update, I am most concerned about the drinking until 4 am at the grandfather’s grave. While this might be ok once or twice in the first week, it is not okay after that. I would wait at least 1 year after the death before getting married to make certain that the drinking is not going to be a problem.

[@holeymcsockpuppet]

The main theme of all these stories is "but I love her." The reason? We redefined Love as "not having boundaries." And if the ring is ANY concern of hers, end it.

[@marks.7593]

The bottom line is, she wants a more expensive ring to show off to her friends. It will also be something she can sell after the divorce.

[@maggpiprime954]

1st story: "Rebuild..?" What rebuild? There's nothing there, no foundation, not even sticks in the sand. You can't repair a relationship that never existed in the first place. Last story: A flipping _tiara._

[@joeschmo622]

_"You don't just marry your fiance/fiancee, you marry the whole family."_ Dewd ought to know that if he does tie the knot, one way or another, for good or ill, The Toxic Inlaws (sounds like a great name for a band) will *FOREVER* be in his life until he and/or they are in the ground.

[@TheHellsHobbit]

#2 So NTA, brother insisted she is included, she is the AH and attention seeking. Remove her from the wedding party.

[@vlugovsky]

S1: Always take threats seriously! Fiancee is not worth the trouble.

[@stevebanner5609]

Story 2: Tell your brother to RUNNN!!!!!!!! Sara will be the biggest bridezillas in the history of them!!!

[@j12300]

Lol moving your parents in is a fast track to divorce

[@DSWatsup]

1st story: RUN!!!! DON'T walk away from that woman. Her whole persona screams HUGE, GIANT RED FLAG!!!!!!!

[@Feralcottagecore]

Even if the dress was pink, it wouldn’t justify the tiara.

[@jerriewyatt905]

Story 1… That ultimatum would be a deal breaker.. after the way OP’s fiancée’s family treated him, no way in H would they be allowed to live with them… he should say no go right then..

[@hugoumero9723]

and with OP Fiance AITA post i think OP Will be very pissed off and broke the wedding

[@luvondarox]

S1 Lmao, the hypocrisy in story one is amazing

[@patty-pat-pat]

'I can move my parents in, but you cant'. Maybe her parents were right after all. He quits his job to make less to take care of someone else. While noble, will he do that once the kids are here? Just quit his high earning job to take care of the parent of his parent? That's his parents resposibilities. He spends his nights drinking at a graveyard and pops back in at 4 am? Will he be doing that whenever troubles arise in their marriage? Just leaves to go drink somewhere else? Then decides his parents can just retire and move in with them, but there's different rules for her (and her parents). Will he be doing this with all major decisions once married with kids? Big red flags, all caught from him telling this story from his own perspective. We will hear a different story from her ;)

[@hothotheat3000]

“Thanks for the heads up. I hope you and your parents find happiness in the lives you will live without me around. Best wishes.”

[@KarmikCykle]

Yeah, I'm smelling some noxious fumes from that relationship in story 1.

[@candaceowens455]

But no one says,,,, why does she have to have your parents to move in but it’s laughable for her to say the same

[@GMWILD87]

Added thought on story 1 The inlaws calling is either to berate OP or to try and butter him up but the mask would fall quick the moment he did something they disapproved of this is a doomed relationship no matter the outcome.

[@LoveableNiki]

Story 2: NTA. Brother's GF knew she was wrong. That's why she arrived at the restaurant last...so no one could stop her in the hotel lobby. Bride underreacted by not kicking her from the dinner. I would have taken her picture and posted on social media with the caption "when they try to steal the bride's shine but look crazy instead. Poor lil' Tink Tink."

[@TheJuaneato]

Story 1 ESH. Just because his in laws sucks why is he special that he can bring his family into his home. That's super unfair. She sucks for not sticking up for OP

[@S730SD]

Why is the most frequent reply to an ultimatum, "adios?" Sure fits in that case.

[@holyek7892]

Talk about cost sunk fallacy. He sure needs an accountant. He is a fool. She might as well tattoo the words narcissist, gold digger and disaster with that attitude. She is going to fold like a picnic chair.

[@britnicox3929]

1: I’m glad this happened now before the marriage and they put a hold to figure themselves out. I wish them both luck on it. 2: I hope we get an update saying he broke up with her bc she knows damn well that going to a bridal party - even without the pink dress code - makes it look like a wedding dress. She needs to go

[@McBruce999]

S1: First thing, nobody noticed that OP was the one to bring up the topic of his parents staying with them, which instead planted the seed in her thoughts. But after what OP has gone through with them, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what his fiancée should be doing in such a situation. Fiancée is an absolute piece of work, even though she knows what kind of people her parents are, she wants OP to just STFU and accept them for what they are. Finally, OP should be thinking in more realistic terms about this whole relationship overall.

[@justinecorrington4106]

Oh I saw he was the one to bring it up. But op was in denial and assumed his fiancee was going to go no contact once married; says their relationship wasn’t as smooth sailing as he claimed. If I had been fiancee it would have been both parents move in or neither. Not wedding is off. Then the demand for ring upgrade made uncomfortable. Yes it was a cheap ring but she’s eyeing inheritance as if he won the lottery or got promoted not in mourning

[@samiulhuda4001]

@@justinecorrington4106 she should understand she doesnt get to make demands when her parents are horrible. i am not going to make my parents suffer because yours are shit and move them in MY house. and if he marries her he absolutely should get a prenup. and any time a woman gives you an ultimatum like that dump her on the spot.

[@justinecorrington4106]

@@samiulhuda4001 the parents won’t suffer if they don’t move in. Honestly they probably wouldn’t want to live with their son as they are young still

[@samiulhuda4001]

@@justinecorrington4106 thats not what i meant. my point was his parents will be included in their life in a way hers wont because they are terrible people. she cannot complain your parents this so my parents that. like hey lets take my parents on a trip on their anniversary but you cannot pay me enough to go with your parents.

[@justinecorrington4106]

@@samiulhuda4001 i agree from what op said that her parents don’t like him and have tried to actively sabotage them. But that’s her parents, she loves them. She also planned on keeping both him and her parents and trying to force them to get along. Op needed to address his thoughts about going no contact before the wedding. If he had, they probably already be broken up as she saw it as op needs to try harder. Not my parents suck and trying to sabotage us. Op clearly knew his fiancee wasn’t there, as she keeps trying to make them all get along. Of course she’d want all the perks for her parents when he waxes about life is short, family is important, let them enjoy their lives with no stress or bills. She’s all for it. And probably been in denial about how the people she loves hate each other. That she didn’t go low contact when they kept lying about him, says where she is emotionally at. But she also is ignoring her parents hate op and didn’t give their blessings for the wedding. So… I feel communication between op and fiancée haven’t been clear. They just been making assumptions on what they want to happen and expected different contradicting things.

[@MsTemptation]

S1:ESH. Interesting how when op was in a struggle love situation whereby he and ex were basically on the same level monetary wise they could talk and get along without a problem. Then tragedy struck on his side with his grandfather and he came into money. Then he wanted to move his parents into their home after he and his fiancée marry. Of course his fiancée wanted the same for her ahole parents. But he said no, because thanks to the windfall from his deceased grandfather he knows his worth. Funny how she was goodness and light until she gave him that stupid ultimatum. Yet he kinda gave her the same by letting her know that he had plans to move them in yet he hadn’t even asked his parents if that was something they wanted him to do. I don’t care how people word their side of a story, he wasn’t asking he was informing his fiancée about his plans to move his parents into their home after their wedding. Neither of these people are ready to be married and both now see the true character of the other. The interesting thing about money is that it brings out the true nature of a person no matter the side.

[@KillerKatt66]

Once she made the ultimatum the relationship was over, dead right there in that moment

[@darkmask5933]

S1: You know fiancé is manipulating and is realizing she's losing her hold on OP. She didn't start as a gold digger, but money changes people. She made the ultimatum, and when OP called her out on it and postponed the wedding, she baulked and then caved because 'it was best for the relationship'. Know for certain, she is making baseless threats, she wants that wedding so she can get her hands on that money and give it to her parents. Also, I am glad OP did not pick up the phone when in-laws called him, but you have to wonder what they were going to say. You know they were probably going to curse him out for making their daughter cry. It doesn't matter if OP has money, parents are garbage and want him gone. This is a strange situation where GF's manipulation and in-laws manipulations are at odds with each other.

[@brokenmask333]

I wouldn’t put past the fiancé’s parents to try to take OP’s house if they move in. And then try to take op to the cleaners during the divorce

[@atathesteelcrownedqueen8070]

A tiara… A TIARA?! Wearing one of those in public, is weird, except for on a wedding day! For a bride! Nobody wears a tiara in a normal situation, certainly not to somebody else’s dinner party that isn’t a costume ball!

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: Well, you kind of asked for it, telling her you wanted to move your parents in (to a house you don’t even own? Sounds like you’re moving in with grandpa? Did I understand that correctly? That doesn’t sound like the smartest move; what happens when he passes and the will is read and the house goes to someone else? And if it’s his house, why on earth would HER parents move in? They’re not related to grandpa? ETA sounds like maybe you inherited the house and maybe money? My last still stands; it’s your family home so it makes sense to move your family into it but not hers. It stays in grandpa’s family, which is not your in-laws. However, don’t get married without a prenup, stat), but you should have had the “if it were up to me I’d never see your parents again” conversation long before now. Not that I blame you; some of the things you describe are characters assassination. I also dislike ultimatums in relationship as a general rule; one should never issue them unless they are prepared to lose everything. If it were me, I’d tell her “ok then, the wedding is off.” And that’s without all the added bullshit from her parents. Bottom line, I don’t think you guys are compatible. You want to be respected in your home and relationship. She wants to pacify her parents, even at the cost of subjecting you to their abuse and pressuring YOU to “extend olive branches and make amends.” Unless this is how you want to live the rest of your life, you either need to come to a compromise between yourself and gf about her parents that you both are happy with, or, you need to bounce now. ETA: “If you don’t move my parents in, the wedding is off.” Also fiancé: “how dare you postpone the wedding?!” Still a nope from me. If it walks like a gold digger and quacks like a gold digger… Also, this jumped out at me: “She thinks I’ll come around and build a relationship with her parents.” Translation: “she’s going to keep hounding, manipulating, and threatening me until she either wears me down or we break up over it.” I was in a similar position decades ago; let me give you a little crystal ball’s view of what your future looks like: You will constantly be harassed by your gf and will fight over it constantly. When she gets pregnant, she’ll tell you she’s going to take her baby where she wants. One of two things will happen from there: either her parents will poison your own child against you, or, they’ll resent that it’s your child and abuse the child the same way they do you. And your gf has made it clear she wont protect you from them; will she her own kids? Will you have to choose between your wife, and keeping your kids safe from an abuser (her parents) and an enabler (her)? Spoiler alert: My abusive mother hurt my kids, and I regret the day I ever let my family pressure me into letting her back into my life. Don’t be me, learn from my mistakes without repeating them. S2: Sarah knew what she was doing. I wonder if there actually was a “work emergency,” or if she just didn’t want to arrive with you so you couldn’t make her go back and change her outfit. You’re right, it’s common sense plus she made comments about the other girl’s outfit. She knew. If it were me, I’d kick her out of my bridal party. I couldn’t trust that she would attempt to steal the spotlight again at the wedding. Tell your brother you love him, but you’re looking forward to a drama free wedding and you’re unlikely to have that with Sarah in the wedding party. “My brother called me a bridezilla.” Response: “Did you see what she was wearing? SHE fucked up, and instead of her apologizing for ruining my bachelorette party (when I only invited her as a favor to YOU in the first place, you both are DARVOing (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) me and flipping the blame? She is no longer a part of my wedding party. Bridesmaid x can walk with two groomsmen, I don’t care. I can’t trust that she won’t pull some stupid stunt like this at my wedding and start more drama. As for you, I’m disappointed in you. I’m your sister, and you’re siding with the woman that purposely ruined my bachelorette party. I love you, but she is no longer welcome in my wedding party. I’m sorry if that puts you in between a rock and a hard place, but not sorry enough to risk her stomping all over my boundaries AGAIN, this time at my wedding.”

[@ladytrucker251]

Why is everyone over looking the bigger issue, it was him who wanted to move his parents in the house after they get married!!!!! Who does that after the honeymoon? NOBODY. I see this as him getting her comfortable with that living arrangement so when his parents become bad off she will be obligated to take care of all their needs from bathing to medical.

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

1st Story: ESH. OP's fiancee is TA due to her enabling her parents abuse of OP and insisting that they move in to OP's and fiancee's marital home. OP is TA for stating that he is moving in HIS parents into his and his fiancee's marital home. He is being a hypocrite. He gets to have his loved ones move in, but his fiancee can't. That right there shows OP feels that the balance of power in his soon to be marriage is in his direction. IMO, NO inlaws should move in, neither fiancee's nor OP's parents. However, I don't think OP is compatible with his fiancee in the first place. She allows her parents to be hateful to her fiance. She now wants him to support them. Not OK.

[@quartzskull8772]

He talked it over and she agreed and it's not that hypocritical since his parents aren't assholes who tried to break them up and spread rumors of her

[@pragatisingh8467]

suggesting your parents move in is not a sin. That's the way it works in many cultures. Whats important is to get everything cleared with your partner first, which he did. He isn't the asshole for simply suggesting it, considering his parents are great to her. the problem isn't even the argument about parents moving in, the real problem is the fact that she is a grown up child who has let her parents continually abuse her soon to be husband and has done nothing about it. She hasn't yet cut the cord and there's no place for him. Ask her to go no contact or leave this hellhole. In fact dont even ask her, those situation always turn out against the aggrieved partner in the future.

[@iononcantomascrivo]

Having a beer after work and listening to Mark's sweet, melodious, smooth, velvety voice. Life is good. 🙂

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Mine was a margarita! 😋

[@iononcantomascrivo]

@@stirrednotshaken4823 I was drinking Amber Bock.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

@@iononcantomascrivo Could never bring myself to acquire a taste for beer, so I will stick with hard liquor. Though I don’t have a high tolerance for that much, so one is usually it🤷🏼‍♀️🤣

[@My9thMyJoy]

If expensive rings are such an important symbol of love, I wonder how much she spent on his ring.

[@des1279]

Story 2; a lot of times bachelorette parties will have the bride in a white outfit (my friends had my friend in a white tank top that said “bride to be” with a white sash) and the other girls of the party will be in all the same color or something (all our t shirts were black and said something about getting drunk I forgot exactly lol) so yea it’s common (in the US anyway) for the bride to wear white during the bachelorette party too that’s why the waitress thought she was another bride lol

[@avalineriley6809]

To be honest, it would have been the end for me the second OP said he wanted to move his parents in. It's his property so i'd feel terrible saying I didn't want that but there is no way i'd want to spend my married life living with my in laws regardless of how nice they are.

[@helenlewis2510]

14:17 yeah op should’ve just broken up with her 🤦‍♀️

[@livewellwitheds6885]

story 2 simply being upset does not mean you have been wronged! the SIL crying does not make OP the "bad guy" in this situation

[@happyzahn8031]

1st: If his fiancee thinks that he will be the one to make-up with the almost-inlaws, she is in a fantasy world. Since they are the one's dissing him, they have to be the one's to make the peace. It also won't be easy as they will have to earn trust over time and reach out many times before the breach can be fixed up. It's a sad situation but the fiancee girl will have to grow up and deal with the reality. It doesn't seem a likely prospect though.

[@iteruc3071]

The OP talks about the fiance's "weird co dependency" on her parents but decided he will move his parents in and has a developing drinking problem out of familial grief... they both need counseling.

[@davidnash8208]

Read the updates about both of these issues.

[@shebakoby]

story 1: Tell me your fiance's parents are narcissistic possible clusters of Bees (the whole not-good-enough/never-good-enough line is classic red flag for Clusters of Bees), and fiance is co-dependent with them, without using any of those words.

[@maemae527]

Thanks for the video! I’m currently getting my apartment ready for my partner and my puppy (coming later this evening) 🎉🎉🎉

[@JayeEllis]

Story 1: I didn't always agree with my uncle, but when he said, "It doesn't matter if I like him or not - she does," I was with him on that one.

[@taylorslade961]

Story 1: Is the fiance Asian? The aversion to OP and the weird codependency and expectation to move in screams "strict Asian parents."

[@ineedhoez]

Good point

[@MrBeevee5]

S1 - I can't imagine even letting in-laws stay with us as newly-weds even if I love them to pieces. I would want no restrictions on when or where we make love. haha. Maybe later (middle age) when that slows down.

[@hogonalog406]

Oh, I am so happy you posted! Now I have something to listen to while hanging up laundry.

[@fyoutube9410]

Time to uninvite, block Sarah and brother.

[@MrHorselover23]

Story 1. Her " my parents or no wedding " me " I'll miss you" !!!!!

[@hvymax]

Why would she want to live with his parents??? Both sets of parents or no parents.

[@pragatisingh8467]

if one set of parents is being nice while the other is being vile then this 'both set or none' doesn't really make sense. That's reaching too. Both of them should've cut contact with her parents way before it came to this. Can't believe people think its okay for parents to treat their child's SO like that, let alone expect the SO to treat them like his own family after it lmao.

[@jenfree2241]

We appreciate you too, Mark!

[@sarahthorpe5082]

A ring is a symbol of how much you love the other person?! SMH, my husband and I wear silicone bands, it doesn’t matter what’s on my finger, it’s who I am with!

[@Reaperofwind]

That’s what I call a empty threat.

[@WolfyFancyLads]

OP2 should've took a quick picture of the brother's girlfriend when she wasn't looking. Then if anyone pitched a fit, show them it and simply say "So everyone's in pink, but she's allowed to dress like Miss World and I can't complain? Nice to know who's side you're on." Also, all pink at hen dos is normal. White? Not a big deal, that would've been an AH thing if that was OP's complaint (as it could've genuinely been miscommunication). But a white dress, sequins, tiara? That's not just wanting to be centre of attention, that's wanting to be strung up on the ceiling and spun around to give lighting effect to a school prom. She's the logo for Strictly Come Dancing. She's the testicles of the mythical tree man from Mighty Boosh cos she wants people to look at her shinin'. Ratchet and Clank must've been nearby, because someone fired a Groovitron and she popped out. I can go on, but you get my point, she's way out of line.

[@crowdemon_archives]

The description of her being essentially a goddammed disco ball is kinda hilarious ngl Such a gaudy sight! It's like I vomited glitter all over my poor Warhammer model! 😅😅😅

[@tamarrartis2918]

Does anyone ever notice how high Reddit's run game is? Like: OP: My problem Reddit: RUN!!!!!!!!!!

[@sherylsnell-massie3801]

i feel like there is part of this story missing - where did the money come from - how much? why not the parents? Its like every other page is missing in a story

[@BonnieSetliff]

Divorce is never the way out, My wife and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser,i wasnt going to let my marriage of 18years crash.

[@DarylSimpson58]

amazing,i am kinda in a similar situation,how did you handle it?

[@BonnieSetliff]

@@DarylSimpson58 well not the orthodox way but i was referred by a friend to a spiritual adviser and healer

[@DarylSimpson58]

@@BonnieSetliff please how can i get in touch with the spiritual adviser?

[@BonnieSetliff]

@@DarylSimpson58 her name is *Victoria Lee Hess* ,and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as caster

[@BonnieSetliff]

you can look her name up online and you will find all you need.

[@CarinaCoffee]

Story 1 Update: I'm so confused, I think there's a part missing? OP said they quit their job and moved to a supermarket job to take care of their grandfather, but now the man is dead, ok. But I thought maybe one of the objections of the parents was his job. But suddenly he's loaded? Did he get a big inheritance?

[@louellacharlton4425]

Tyvm Mark

[@wmdkitty]

1: DTMFA. Call the whole thing off. It's not going to work with her parents in the house.

[@momo382844]

Starting off the marriage with threats? This does not bode well. OP run! Run for the hills! 🚨

[@shells500tutubo]

I have read the first story before, so I knew Op inherited money, but in THIS version it doesn't say anywhere that he has inherited money and property. Did I miss it somewhere?

[@ksbs2036]

How much did he inherit? Enough to not need to work? Thanks, the sudden wealth confused me

[@DragonicGamer32]

"She was upset I was postponing the wedding, but once she realized I wasn't going to fold she agreed under the notion that it was 'best for our relationship to work on this before marriage." This is honestly a little telling for me. She issued an Ultimatum for OP and it didn't work. She realized it didn't and now she's trying to find any way to crawl out of the mess she made by even starting the ultimatum. At least that's how it feels like. Her bluff was called even if OP doesn't think he did so, and now she's realizing she can't exactly make such ultimatums and expect OP to cave. it would mean healthy boundaries for sure in the future if it works out. But something tells me Fiancee didn't want that. She wanted to be right.

[@pelgervampireduck]

I wouldn't want a relationship with somebody that wants to live with their parents. That's a huge red flag and dealbreaker, and BOTH of them wanted to do it. A couple needs their own privacy and space, away from parents or family.

[@phatcavy98]

In story 1. I like to imagine that the fiancées parents calling him was becuase their daughter said "you caused this, you need to fix this" and now they are trying to undo years of damage they caused, but the truth is probably that they wanted to berate him for being everythong they kept saying.