I Overheard My Dad's New Girlfriend Is Plotting To Get Rid Of Me r/Relationships

[@Nonprofitgenie]

Story 1: Although I never plan on having kids, I could never do that to any child! Doesn't deserve to be called a dad. Can see him in 10 years writing a reddit post wondering why his child never talks to him

[@bryanklar427]

I was thinking about this when I was listening to the story and update

[@meiwa2020]

10 yrs later: "R/relationships My daughter has asked her grandfather to walk her down the aisle instead of me and I don't understand why" 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

[@flamelily2086]

I had a friend who loved a man who had a child with special needs. She told me she loved the father but she knew that she couldn't cope with the child so she broke up with her boyfriend. She said it was hard for her but she knew it was the right thing to do for the sake of the child.

[@katphish30]

I don't want kids, and that includes other people's kids. But I also value kids, and that definitely influenced my decision to not get involved with a parent. Children deserve to live with people who want to live with them.

[@tallyp.7643]

Bonus to the post will be that she drained the bank accounts and took off with a boy toy she'd been cheating with for several years.

[@joeschmo622]

"My mom died, and that couldn't be helped, but my 'dad' abandoned me soon after, so now *he's* dead to me, too." Spread it far'n'wide, let everyone who knows him know what kind of a 'father' he really is.

[@CrimsonAngelWinges]

I'm hoping that they like in a fairly small community and that the grandparents new hobby is destroying the dad and his girlfriend's lives.

[@flamiaminu5536]

@@CrimsonAngelWinges right? If I was the grandparents I wouldn't rest until those two assholes were known for the vile excuses of human beings they are and shunned by the community.

[@CrimsonAngelWinges]

@@flamiaminu5536 Here's hoping that there the dad's parents and they turn the inter family against him.

[@namelastname8393]

The father is a monster. I hope one day he realizes that, and I wish that the realization is painful.

[@JDKT002]

@@namelastname8393 he will. the day he feels he no longer has to prove his love to that woman by putting her first before everything. She'll leave him and he will realize he abandoned his own daugher. Hopefully that day she'll tell him to go to hell and refuse to ever talk with him again.

[@kermit2jo]

Story 1: have grandparents force him to pay child support. Make him remember that child every day for the next few years that he'd rather be getting laid than take care of his own flesh and blood

[@isthataspider7410]

EXACTLYYYYY. I am so angry with that "father"

[@senatorarmstrong4662]

Exactly I lost it how in the hell do you tell your child you need a break to evaluate your relationship with them this isn’t some high school fling this is your flesh and blood. I hope when he passes he sees his wife again and right as he tries to hug her she slaps him so hard he falls flat on his ass.

[@wierdgamer3067]

@@senatorarmstrong4662 nah, that mom will meet him at the pearly gates to personally slap him so far down, he breaks through the earth right into the bottom ring of hell. He deserves the ring of treachery, as he betrayed his own blood.

[@nataliereeves3594]

O so true

[@JK-sh8rc]

Story 1 just about broke my heart. OP's father throwing away his own daughter like she was a used kleenex is monstrous. Can't decide who is more vile, the father or the gf. Both are equally disgraceful in their treatment of a 15 year old motherless child.

[@wowplayer00]

there is a special place in hell for people like them.

[@PrincessAfrica3]

Indeed…I feel so sad for her😢

[@persephoneszeliga]

The father is far worse. He is thinking with his d$ck and being a selfish idiot. What a horrible person.

[@bryanstoudenmire]

Op should have recorded the girlfriend anyway

[@MissRayneNerdiiChicK]

The girlfriend is a trash human being, but the father is more vile because that is HIS child he's throwing away. Just like in cheating situations the spouse who is cheating is always worse that the affair partner, because they are the one in the relationship.

[@randomusername3873]

First story reminds me of the one when the OP was sent to live with his uncle in another state when he was 14, because the dad had a new child with his new wife. The dad never contacted OP again untill decades later, turned out that the wife only used him for his money, the child wasn't even his and they both disappeared after taking all of his money in the divorce. Op refused to forgive him and told him to screw off I honestly hope the same happens to this father

[@randomusername3873]

@@kapitanjelly3309 "aita for saying "no" to my father?"

[@melvinr2066]

Yea honestly was hoping for a good update, maybe later down the line

[@helixxia9320]

dad deserved that holy shit

[@nataliereeves3594]

I remember that story. He literally approached op at a funeral for crying out loud and was shocked no one took his side.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 1: I hope OP’s dad gets dumped by his girlfriend and OP refuses to have him in her life again. He gave up his daughter of 15 years for a woman he’s known less than 1 or 2 years.

[@rogerrabbit80]

My preference would be, GF takes him for everything he's got, then dumps him for some boy-toy. Dad, now homeless and alone, finds out OP and grandparents want nothing to do with him. Possibly with police called on trespassing dad.

[@clarehidalgo]

Op's grandparents need to go after him for Child support

[@steelheart538]

It's probably bc they are in that honeymoon phase where a relationship seems so good. Can't wait until it backfires in a break up or a divorce.

[@pippo17173]

@@rogerrabbit80 Garenteed this will happen because this women will suck dry out of everything.

[@carloscampos5860]

@@steelheart538 It will, a person that puts a father against her own daughter so easily will not have problem cheating on him or taking all his money 😈

[@hool839]

My dad shipped me halfway across the country for almost two years at the behest of his then girlfriend now 2x ex-wife so that he'd have more time and less guilt for her son. He admitted later it was an easy decision because then he had the son he always wanted. In the end, he learned every single crumb that she was about when she started trying to take my house after their first divorce, but it'd been way too late for our relationship by that point. Now he doesn't know where I live, and hasn't seen his grandkid in a long time

[@Movs.]

Sorry that happened to you, at least you're living a good life now

[@LinnBlack23]

Good! You have to protect yourself and your kid. I hope that you have a wonderful life with your wonderful family ❤❤❤

[@paden1865able]

I know what it's like to have a parent's girlfriend plot to get you out, it really sucks. She was going to convince him to ship me off to boarding school and was telling me how easy it would be. Well, she didn't hear him come into the room and he heard everything. That was the last time they were together.

[@Azulakayes]

I cried for OP. What a horrible sperm donor.

[@LikeWaterBaby]

I’m so glad that when your dad heard it he chose you. Some people are so terrible.

[@khaleesireyna731]

@@Azulakayes same here. Been in a similar situation. Only difference was that my sister and I were already adults and had already planned out our exits, so when we knew he'd choosen his new squeeze over us (we didn't even make it a choice, but he can't resist the chance to show how little we mean to him). I still see my being an adult in that situation as the only blessing in the whole thing. To imagine anyone under 18 dealing with that both saddens and infuriates me.

[@beegee1960]

She should have recorded her Stepmother. It is hard to ignore something someone says in their own voice.

[@mandalorianhunter1]

@@khaleesireyna731 do you still talk to that parent?

[@EmmileneRosalina]

I absolutely would have been a brat when shady gf promised to look after my dad if I were OP in story 1. "Haha yeah, it's not boarding school or the military but at least you got what you wanted!"

[@PrimateProductions]

How would that be being a brat? That wouldn't make her feel bad at all if you said that...she would just be even more happy!

[@ScarabD]

My immediately response to that (besides a very inelegant snort of disgust) was "uh... you know it wasn't ever her responsibility to "look after" her own DAD, right? You know he was the one who was meant to be looking after HER, right? You know that you're encouraging a guy to utterly fail at the thing that should be his priority FAR above you, right???"

[@CatacombD]

If I were the grandparents in that situation, I think I would've stepped in and told the Dad to take two-faced harpy and get the hell off my property, and to not bother ever trying to contact us again." I can't imagine how disgusted I would be to see someone treat their own daughter that way.

[@gunman462]

The dad is possessed by a succubus in story 1. He thought he found happiness and defended it aggressively against his own daughter. He isn't well and is being manipulated because he went through so many years of darkness that he would do anything to keep that new glimpse of a life.

[@ScarabD]

@@gunman462 How depressing, especially when you consider that his REAL source of potential light and hope was far from romantic, and also, was right in front of him the whole time.

[@AndyyWithAY]

What the dad did is not cool. He loves this woman, but she's a stranger to OP. Dad let's her hijack the holidays then she's just going to move in. The dad is putting way too much onus on OP. SHE has to welcome a grown ass woman?? Her a literal child. The dad is so out of pocket.

[@deborahyoung1873]

All the dad is thinking about is getting his pickle tickled.

[@matthewbrooks254]

@@deborahyoung1873 he's a whipped simp

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

@@deborahyoung1873 I was going to say the same thing. Too many times, Little Dickey, south of the border, takes over and they have only one thought left in their brain. LOL

[@clarehidalgo]

Someone needs to tell OP to have her Grandparents get child support from her Dad

[@pippo17173]

@@deborahyoung1873 That and *I don't want to be alone* because these kind of people are even more pathetic then cheaters sometime.

[@l.g.2888]

First off, he got rid of ALL pictures of his dead wife and all her belongings?! That's his child's MOTHER. That's all she had left of her. That was after barely taking care of her after her mom died. I don't care how depressed he got. OP's dad is a selfish monster who has never put his child first, so it's not surprising he would choose a girlfriend over his child. I just hope OP realizes this all reflects on him, not her. And I'm glad she's safe with family members who love her.

[@dawnwagoner8307]

This girlfriend is absolutely out to get you and is trying to get rid of you. Unfortunately your Dad won’t believe you. Go to your grandparents

[@sadtitties222]

Story 1: I guess I must be feeling extra mean today, but I hope to hell that OP's father's new lady friend winds up to be a cheater and is only with him out of pity. I hope he gets left high and dry and any time he tries to "salvage" his relationship with his daughter he gets shut down immediately. OP has a new family now and he's no longer a part of it.

[@GremlinTime]

And that she gets dumped by her affair partner as soon as he finds a better woman

[@noydb-1]

She's not with him out of pity, its strictly a financial transaction. Gold digger 101. In a year or two, when the bank accounts are drained, and the credit card debt payment is larger than his take home pay, she will run off with her real BF who is helping her run the scam. Then of course, he will come crawling back expecting help "because family".

[@13thMaiden]

Story 1) 10 yrs later: r/relationship post "My parents disowned me and gave all my inheritance to my daughter instead of me and my wife and the brat won't give me anything!!" OR! "My daughter refuses to allow me in her life or let me see my only grandkids 😢" Edit: "Take a break from each other" What in any universe does a parent "take a break" from their child? She's not a toxic gf, she's your literal CHILD!! What's funny is she's likely gonna be the Dad's only child cause the gf is in menopause age area and clearly doesn't like kids. So he's gonna be really screwed if he ever wanted to be a granddad. OP needs to stop calling him Dad, cause considering how much he hurt her, stabbing him in the side with just referring to him by his first name will be barely scratch the pain he caused you and shows him you have disassociated from him. I mean, he wanted to take a break from OP after all...

[@sunsignhealer]

Leave A woman and her "age" of menopause out of it, and you have everything right!

[@ronhall5395]

Right, in what world does a parent take a break from their own child. He must be so desperate for a woman in his life that he could abandon his own daughter. She is 15, not 3. His new GF can live with it or hit the road. Three years and th we daughter would be on her own. Grand parents are great , I bet they were his deceased wife's parents. I would think his mother would not allow that sort of bs.

[@somethingelse4204]

Story 1: There will come a day when OP's dad will want to get back in touch. I hope you don't fall for it. Remember how you felt here when he threw you away. If he were my father I'd let him know that I'm sure my mom was livid with him wherever she was and that as far as I was concerned, he was deader than dead to me.

[@rmhartman]

do not let "they won't like it" stop you from recording these interactions. you need to protect YOU.

[@Kerry-qe8ul]

Story one is old but I'd love an update a year later, the dad is spineless. I hope op goes on to have a wonderful life and finds people who love her regardless

[@clarehidalgo]

OP's Grandparents need to go after him for Child support

[@ronhall5395]

Child support is needed for sure. If for no other reason than ops dad will be reminded once a month of how big a jerk he is.

[@heatherv3417]

Story 3: honestly this is divorce territory. Because if I ever saw my spouse being this cold hearted toward a family member I would want nothing to do with them anymore. He should leave her asap.

[@superzooperhaze6597]

right? all the comments saying "well the kid ain't her nephew he's her HUSBAND'S nephew" uhhhh what do they think family is? just blood relatives? that must be a sad. small family then

[@GiordanDiodato]

sure. this way OP woon't have to put up with her husband

[@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118]

I agree this is reason enough to divorce. For her sake though, not his.

[@nohomo4774]

@@itsalwayshalloweenexceptwh5118 2 comments above me are genetoc dead ends

[@MONKEYDZETS]

She hates his family like Jesus

[@tracicolvis7382]

Story 1: As soon as the gf pops out a kid they'll want her to come "bond with the baby" and be their free babysitter.

[@Spamnatv]

“He wants to start over and I wasn’t part of that plan.” That absolutely broke my heart.

[@greendiamondglow]

Story 3: Asking for help picking up a kid from school is not asking OP to take on a parental role. It's actually asking her to take on a wife role. What if it had been some other last minute emergency? What if he got stuck at work and needed her to pick up a prescription for him before the pharmacy closed? I don't see this marriage lasting, tbh. She needs to find someone who is as committed to never ever being around children as she is. Or just be single. That is an absolutely valid choice.

[@tamsel814]

Or date someone without any living family members.

[@jaymel4691]

Yeah and she kept saying the kid was "his" nephew. Like lady, you married the guy. He's your nephew too. If you didn't want to deal with that then you should've stayed single. You married into that family, they come with the husband.

[@GiordanDiodato]

the husband said the kid would be HIS responsibility. not HERS. learn to read

[@tamsel814]

@@GiordanDiodato whether or not something is your responsibility or not does not equal being an ah or not. I have no obligation to help a coworker print out something, as it is not my responsibility to do their job, yet would be an AH if I did not at least attwmp to help out. Similarly with helping a quarantining neibghour with their trashcan.

[@BexsBoxofConfusion]

I agree. Like picking a kid up once doesn’t result in any responsibility. It’s just decency and being a supportive wife. Also, being kind to a child. I know I would struggle to forgive my spouse if they acted like that bc how can you trust them?

[@er5504]

Story 2. Sounds like Mark is right on that SIL realized her guests were probably uncomfortable with her wedding being so strict.

[@MythicalHex]

honestly I think she probably was showing op the dress because she wanted op to know, or at least think, she could upstage op.

[@ronhall5395]

SIL is trying to make OP very uncomfortable about her wedding choices. When OP said she liked the sexy dress is when SIL started to feel like the jerk. When OP said she was not worried about being upstaged by the sexy dress, SIL realized her plan was not working.

[@er5504]

Story 1. So disgusting a parent can do that to their child. Especially after what she's been through already. The repercussions of her parent betraying her will affect her for the rest of her life. It took a decade to be friends with my parent again after something similar at the same age. Mine eventually ended that relationship and apologized for everything. But the feeling that you're not enough never really goes away.

[@isthataspider7410]

Ikr. She lost her own MOM. So her dad decides to just discard her because he feels bad too? She's a human being, not a pet lizard. He only cares about himself and his prissy girlfriend.

[@clarehidalgo]

Op's grandparents better go after him for Child support

[@juliejohnson8020]

I think she's going to have to accept the fact that her father isn't ever going to be in her life again

[@low-keydrama1260]

I think so too. I feel like she’s already at the beginning of accepting that

[@clarehidalgo]

Hope the grandarents go after him for child support

[@Movs.]

@@clarehidalgo Good call honestly

[@whitneybennett4857]

Oh, I think he will, eventually. After the gf has completely cleared out his bank account, baby trapped him, and started accusing him of domestic violence in order to get the upper hand in the future custody battle.

[@nikkiwhray1598]

The 1st story is so heart breaking. It makes me truly pray karma is a real thing.

[@carolroberts4614]

I cried!

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

Story 1: Why date someone if you can’t handle the fact that they have children? Edit: The dad is just as bad. Got rid of all her mother’s photos. Ended all of their traditions. Moved his new girlfriend in with barely any time for his daughter to get used to the change. And then doesn’t believe his own daughter. OP isn’t the one leaving, her father is the one who’s left. Story 3: I understand that the husband should have talked about it with his wife first. But you don’t need experience in childcare to take care of a 12 year old for a short period of time. And wouldn’t you want to help family when they haven’t wronged you, you’re capable of doing so, and they’re in need? OP sucks tbh. And that comment at 20:30 is just claiming the husband is sexist? Like shut it.

[@keplersdream901]

Because that's the way men are. Women mourn, men replace.

[@reptiles3244]

@@keplersdream901 false as hell

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

@@keplersdream901 There are plenty of stories of good dads. Stop preaching misinformation.

[@aspidistraeliator]

@@keplersdream901 stop, I know a couple of guys who have lost their wives, they NEVER behaved this way towards their children. This isn't a men are that way thing, this is a that's how selfish assholes behave. In case you don't know selfish assholes come in all flavors.

[@alistairrae9807]

That pathetic piece of crap human being father abandoned and neglected his own child he can die alone that’s all deserves

[@taylorslade961]

Last story: I've heard this story on another channel and I still want to know where the hell the kids mother is.

[@Grace_x68]

I also want to know more background. Feels as if there is a lot of feelings between OP and her husband's family

[@paulinadeboer3604]

That was my question from the beginning.

[@carlrood4457]

@@Grace_x68 Yes, the language pretty much conveys that she doesn't consider them her family

[@GiordanDiodato]

@@carlrood4457 or maybe you didn't read the part where the husband agreed that his nephew would be HIS responsibility.

[@Grace_x68]

@@GiordanDiodato I can actually understand that someone may in some situations not be able to look after kiddos. Maybe her husband refused to have kids and this is her revenge. It sounds terribly like revenge.

[@SheenaReine]

the first story is absolutely heartbreaking. i was a single mom, and when i met my husband i didn’t let them meet for 6m and then i said if my kid doesn’t like you, it’s over either you treat them like your own, or it’s not going to work out. kids need to always come first.

[@senatorarmstrong4662]

I remember when I was a kid my biological father wasn’t in my life much and my mom met my now stepdad who I consider my real dad. Any way she actually sat me and my sisters down and asked us what we thought of him and asked us if we where ok with her marrying him cause he asked her to marry him we all said of course we’re ok with it and they’ve been married sense. A few years later I asked what if we had said no and she told us she wouldn’t have married him and that genuinely shocked me she was more worried about us then her own happiness.

[@SheenaReine]

@@senatorarmstrong4662 if my kid had a similar no reaction to him, i would’ve broken it off too. similar situation to what you experienced and i refused to put my kid through any more trauma. i just can’t fathom being with someone who hated my kid and treated them badly.

[@KCohere33]

This man is going to regret this when the new girlfriend eventually leaves him. It sounds like he never dealt with his grief over losing his wife and is trying to ease the pain by erasing her. That includes her child. It’s sad and infuriating.

[@senatorarmstrong4662]

He will also regret it when his daughter gets married and has kids of her own and he doesn’t found out till several years later.

[@c2c255]

I am a recent window and while my kids are grown or mostly grown I could NEVER imagine doing this to a child. I have no desire to even date

[@ianesgrecia8568]

Neh. His only regret will be when grandparents leave everything to daughter and he wants the money for himself

[@snorlaxgender]

Story 1: I lived the same exact thing, give or take a couple details. OP, going to live with my grandparents when I was being mistreated at home was the best decision I ever made for myself. My mom snapped out of it very soon after I made that decision and left my abuser that year. He needs the shock, and you need a safe space.

[@Schwiegermutter]

Did you forgive your mom? I cant imagine ever coming back from that. My mommade a lot of big mistakes that i had to work on for years but i was able to forgive her, because she did the best she could and thought was the best for us...

[@snorlaxgender]

@@Schwiegermutter It's been over a decade since I left "home" to live elsewhere. I am bitter at my mom for a lot of things. He would threaten to kill me or make me kill myself. I know she was scared of him too, but I don't understand how she could have seen my pain and stayed. But I love my mom for a lot of things at the same time. She is genuinely a lovely and caring person that I have a good relationship with now. The thing that bothers me most, though, is that she's repressed all those memories and doesn't remember any of the things that I remember so vividly. So it's a grey area. I walked away with BPD so I'm very prone to black-and-white thinking, and it's difficult to feel both things at once. But I know that I love her despite everything. I dunno, it's not for everyone. Some people have the potential to grow and I like to give them room to do that. People are complicated and all shaped by entirely unique situations. If a person fucks up big time, it's okay to be bitter and sometimes distance is what you need. But if they acknowledge they fucked up and genuinely put effort into changing, I respect that enough for a second chance.

[@damien678]

@@snorlaxgender You sound like a really emotionally mature person, and I know how hard that can be to become when trauma is involved

[@AndyyWithAY]

😭😭😭I am gutted after story 1's update. I'm literally 2x OP's age and this would be devestating. At 15 this would have destroyed me. Poor OP.

[@nikkiwhray1598]

When someone else's basic personality makes you aware of your own flaws, you have a chance to self-reflect and grow as a person. The OP's sister-in-law decided to double down and throw a tantrum. Her behavior actually made the point she insisted OP was implying.

[@mandalorianhunter1]

Agreed and mom was just trying to defend her

[@ThatsViews]

SIL was aware her wedding rules were over the top. Now someone else has confirmed this. Oops!

[@bricksloth6920]

Title story: why do you care if your da thinks you're leaving him? He's being a total asshole and the girlfriend is welcome to him. They deserve each other.

[@PrimateProductions]

I was thinking same thing....I don't know after listening to the whole thing I believe this story is either completely made up or very much exaggerated for sympathy...

[@jadaalston3280]

@@PrimateProductions this is actually very common. A lot of parents condition you to accept certain things. You start to feel guilty even when they are the one wronging you.

[@kitarrah1422]

@@PrimateProductions Sadly, it happens more often than you think. The single parent prioritizes their new relationship over their kids with the previous partner all the time. There are plenty of people who have experienced this.

[@PrimateProductions]

@@jadaalston3280 oh I have no doubt about that at all it is just this story in particular that rings untrue!!!

[@jodieisnotokay]

I went through similar to op and it took years of therapy to not blame myself and to come to terms with the fact that my dad isn't in my life. I have also been diagnosed with separation anxiety due to it

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: NTA when people get offended at statements not directed at them it means they KNOW how bad they are/were. She knows she was over the top and felt insulted that OP isn't a Bridezilla like her. Now none of that to say people can't be making comments to shade you indirectly, but it's usually pretty obvious when they are doing so

[@micheledix2616]

Totally agree

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Poor OP........ Losing your mother and having your father abandon you for a nasty spiteful woman must have been so painful and heartbreaking. (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠) I can never imagine my daddy doing this to me and my siblings. I think she's better off going to her grandparents. Honestly, I hope OP does go to her grandparents, so her father will experience his new girlfriend's bad behavior for himself. After Updates: I'm so happy that OP went to her grandparents. They sound like really sweet and lovely grandparents. OP's father on the other hand, he and his girlfriend deserve each other. I hope he knows what he is giving up and what he's getting himself into.

[@MiraTheWarlock]

If I was OPs mother, I'd roll around in my grave feeling violated I ever spent time with someone as selfish as him If I have a kid and pass away, and my SO pulls crap like this, I'll haunt him for eternity

[@senatorarmstrong4662]

@@MiraTheWarlock OPs mom is probably praying the day the father kicks the bucket so she can punch him for eternity for what he did to her child and all for a thot.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

​@@MiraTheWarlock I would do the same thing. LoL 😂

[@marilynbartlett1850]

@@PrincessQ-fj9ly yeah the dad is thinking with the wrong part of his anatomy

[@tayganroberts5098]

OP shouldn’t have to give up time with HER family because her husband refuses to take care of his. “It was an emergency” bringing a child into your home without prior discussion isn’t an emergency unless the parents are dead. Incapacitated? That requires a conversation.

[@blacktigress15]

Some chemo cocktails can incapacitate you quite a bit.

[@kristinewatson3702]

Poor OP! She's been abandoned by her father and all he's thinking about is his own wants. She's concerned with HIS feelings but he cares nothing for hers. I hope she goes to stay with her grandparents. ETA: Dad is the WORST AH!

[@clarehidalgo]

OP's grandparents need to go after him for child support if she is staying with them long term

[@michaelwoods3651]

Story 1- that’s a weak man to push his child aside for a new girlfriend. She’s selfish?! If you’re a parent, your needs come last. Story 3- why get married if you can’t be a partner and help a family member?!

[@tamsel814]

Wife of story 3 should datd the dad of story 1. They sound like s great fit

[@GiordanDiodato]

because her husband said that his nephew would be HIS responsiblity?

[@Movs.]

She's already helping. She's putting up with living with, cooking, cleaning, shopping etc for a kid that isn't hers and that she got zero say in having in the house in the first place. You don't get to just make huge decisions like that for people, then on top of it break your promise and start swearing at/guilt tripping them over not taking care of your own responsibility that you said they didn't have to have a part in...and shouldn't be expected to have a part in because their consent was never taken into account to begin with. He literally thought he could pull the "don't ask for permission now ask for forgiveness later" card to his wife with something as huge as taking in someone's child. How hard is it to plan for transportation when you know you have a job that you sometimes take overtime shifts at? Oh right, not hard at all. It's literally a basic part of the responsibility HE signed up for. She didn't agree to any of this and didn't want to be involved, and he acted like he was fine with that at the time, obviously thinking when he moved the kid in he could eventually sucker her into caving more on doing his work for him. And if that wasn't obvious to you yet it was further solidified because next thing you know "yeah don't worry babe I'll completely take care of everything" turns into "Wtf, why won't you cancel your plans to take care of my responsibilities?! You're selfish and hate kids!" real quick. You don't see the manipulation going on here? It's so freaking obvious my guy. Now he gets to see how millions of mothers live, you don't get to make overtime wages, you have to forgo them and take care of your responsibilities.

[@lovebug2284]

Story 1: Daddy’s getting laid on the regular now so even if she could prove what GF said, he’d still find a way to blame her.

[@summer-fallwinter-spring8326]

So true. He is thinking with the wrong head.

[@lacewinglml]

you don't "take a break" from a child. From a girlfriend, yes. Child no.

[@Alberto-wu1mj]

I feel for OP. My mother suddenly died just before Christmas when I was a young adult. Six months later, he remarried and didn’t invite me. The new wife moved into my family home and took down all photos of my mother. The new wife was rude to me as well. I felt like I lost both parents. It took a lot of therapy to even tolerate my father and his wife at family events.

[@mandalorianhunter1]

Why tolerate? Why not just ignore them?

[@Alberto-wu1mj]

@@mandalorianhunter1 so I can see the family members I like at the family gatherings.

[@mandalorianhunter1]

@@Alberto-wu1mj why do they still like your dad?

[@Alberto-wu1mj]

@@mandalorianhunter1 I don’t. I like the relatives at family gatherings.

[@mandalorianhunter1]

@@Alberto-wu1mj no I meant to put the THEY, sorry the keyboard on phones don't want to work sometimes.

[@Ospyro3em]

Pretty sure you already covered the first story a year or so ago. Regardless, I get more and more angry each time I hear that story. I'm still praying for the next update when Dad goes back to OP with his tail between his legs because he realises what a piece of work his new woman is, and OP slamming the door in his face.

[@rogerrabbit80]

Or see dad's post, a few years down the line: "Dear Reddit, my daughter has gone no contact, and I can't understand why."

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who caught that it had been done before. It popped in on BORU, but didn't have any new updates.

[@clarehidalgo]

Hope OP's grandparents go after him for child support

[@senatorarmstrong4662]

@@rogerrabbit80 na it’ll probably be one of these 1. dear Reddit, found out through family that my daughter has been married for years and is having her third child and I don’t know why she hasn’t told me any of this. 2. Am I the idiot yelling at my daughter cause she refuses to let me or my wife meet our grandkids. 3. Grandparents took me outta their will and gave everything to my daughter.am I the idiot for yelling at her after she refused to share it with her step-sibling. 4. Found out my daughter told her father and mother in law that her dad died when her mother died and I don’t know why. 5. my daughters wedding is a week away and me and my now wife haven’t gotten our invitation yet. 4.

[@senatorarmstrong4662]

@@rogerrabbit80 but sadly I’m sure his post will be more like this. 1. My jealous daughter had turned family against me. 2. Am I the idiot for telling my daughter I need a few months away from her the evaluate our relationship UPDATE it’s been several years and she refuses to see me and when I reminded her that I’m still her father she told me her father died years ago. 3. My family members refuse to see me or my new wife cause of my selfish daughter am I the idiot?

[@platinum_noelle]

When the father said they should take a break from each other, I'd have said "you've been taking a break from being my father ever since mom died, I'm used to having no present parents by now."

[@amberluppens3292]

That first story really proves two things to me; 1. There are certain parents in this world who really absolutely should not have been allowed to have children And 2. The people who tell others to “grow up” are the most childish of all.

[@gcarr1089]

Last story- OP is an ah, husband had a last minute meeting he asked her for a help and she said no because his brother had the audacity to get seriously ill and ask his brother to help give him peace of mind by taking care of OPs and husband's nephew. Hope OP and husband don't have kids because if this is how she supports loved ones, I'd hate to see how her family do it. The apple rarely falls far from the tree.

[@superzooperhaze6597]

it's disgusting to see how little regard she has for her husband's family. she HAS to be an only child i can't see any other way someone could be this uncaring and unempathetic

[@Russman67]

Story 1: Losing mom was bad enough. Dad is lost because he's blinded by love or his little head, not sure which. Best for OP to move on with life without him for now. Maybe he'll remember he has a daughter some day. 🤦‍♂️

[@senatorarmstrong4662]

Sadly he’ll most likely only realize after he sees what kinda women the gf really is and by then it’ll be too late.

[@artemishallihan8973]

This first story just boiled my blood.... it must be heartwrenching for this daughter who lost her mother at 10 and then abandoned by her dad. I curse the dad to always have red lights in traffic, and gf always loses her keys when she's in a hurry and that her headphones never fit in her ears she's constantly fall out. At least op found a home that wants her and loves heart rather than stomaching a broken

[@artemishallihan8973]

Other possible curses - may all their bacon burn. My the person who arrived after them be served first at a restaurant. May their coffee cream be spoiled half way through the carton

[@carolroberts4614]

There's an old Irish blessing that says ' as you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point upwards '! Well I hope op's father and stepmother have ALL the splinters point upwards!

[@carlrood4457]

What reasonable single parent says, "I'm dating someone. You'll meet her at Christmas and then she's moving in with us." He literally sprung it on her all at once, during one of the most stressful times of the year and completely changed their living arrangements before introducing them. He has every right to date. Even waiting to introduce them until he knows it's serious is fine. However, you don't have them move in without getting to know each other. He also doesn't seem to get that until she's 18, his happiness is secondary to hers

[@senatorarmstrong4662]

@@artemishallihan8973 don’t forget the good ol I hope your taco breaks the moment you lift it, I hope your pizza is only partially cut,

[@wierdgamer3067]

@@artemishallihan8973 may their pasta sauce never blend. May the pasta itself always stick to each other in a big amalgamate goop. May there always be an unfindable rock in their shoes, and a crease in their socks. May their smoke alarms always beep, despite fresh batteries. May the pH levels in their soil never balance. May every lightbulb they use have a hum, and blink ever so slightly despite how new they are.

[@brigidtheirish]

1: I was angry with her dad just from the first paragraph. He got rid of all pictures of OP's mom? He decided his new girlfriend would be moving in without even having her *meet* OP? I understand that grief can shut someone down *hard,* but *damn,* man, you have a *child.* Get your act together! The girlfriend is a *classic* evil stepmother and the dad is pathetic and *abusive.* I understand OP feeling responsible for her dad's feelings and not wanting to hurt him, but she *wouldn't* be leaving him if she went to stay with her grandparents because he already left *her.* Updates: Yep. The "dad" is just as bad if not *worse* than the girlfriend. 2: Oh, so MIL thinks OP's at fault for engaging in a conversation with *her friends* at *her party* regarding *her rules* for *her wedding.* I think I know where SIL gets it from. Seriously don't get the 'child-free wedding' thing, but I grew up in a family where weddings were *very much* family affairs. No kids? Why get married, then? 3: I've heard this story elsewhere and *still* think OP's an asshole. She told him to call another family member to pick him up. What the *hell* does she think he was doing by calling her? She said he should just leave early. Yeah. Sounds like a *great* way to jeopardize his employment. She's acting like being the kid's Uber *once* is such a *huge* imposition. It *certainly* isn't "playing mom." Sure, her husband should've consulted her, that makes him a bit of an asshole. OP is the *bigger* asshole for treating the kid like *crap.*

[@carlrood4457]

Think about what the dad did. "Hi, I'm seeing someone. You'll meet her at Christmas and then she'll be moving in." He gave her no time to get to know the GF at all. He introduced them at the most stressful time of year. He wasn't thinking about his daughter at all, even before the GF moved in.

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

Sorry, but OP made it perfectly clear, hubby would be the sole caretaker of his nephew. Personally, I would of picked the kid but I like kids. I would have made it clear to hubby, he better make arrangements to have someone from his side of the family to step-in and take care of the kid when he wasn't available. OP needs to decide what she will do if his brother dies and hubby wants to take the nephew in permanently. She needs to let hubby know, she will be seeking a divorce. Not everyone in this world wants kids, nor are they cut out to be a parent, and that is THEIR right. I loved my niece and nephew and spent some fun filled days with them, but no way in hell would I have taken them in for more than two or three days at a time.

[@vampire9545]

NTA in last story. He made a unilateral decision, and then tried to force op participate when she already said NO. What was he expecting? Did that suddenly she would not maintain her boundaries? He should of expected a no. Frankly op has justification to leave the relationship until kid moves out, or even divorce for the unilateral choice.

[@MikkosFree]

Agreed. They should divorce. No one deserves a partner without empathy.

[@Movs.]

@@MikkosFree When you've decided by yourself to take care of a child without even telling your partner that she's now going to be living with a kid... then you both agree she won't be participating AT ALL in being responsible for him on top of it, then you don't get to play the "you have no empathy for children card". The only card at play here is a man who told people he would do something to look like a hero and then decided the kid wasn't important enough to plan ahead for transportation if he wanted to do overtime at work. Staying at work to make extra money isn't an emergency. If he were in the hospital I have no doubt she'd pick the kid up, that's an emergency and not him neglecting his responsibilities. Him not planning and expecting other people to pick up the slack for him isn't anyone's fault but his own, and it's definitely not an emergency. Its plain as day obvious that this would have been the first of many favors he asked of her, made even more clear by his unhinged reaction towards her. Unfortunately that lack of basic planning inconvenienced him. Next time he should be more responsible, just as he promised his brother he would be instead of looking to find other people to blame for his own mistakes. His wife has literally done nothing wrong and quite frankly is doing him a favor by not putting up any issue over the kid now living there and having to clean and cook for him.

[@MikkosFree]

@@Movs. "It's plain as day..." That's an assumption, not fact. No evidence that this is a pattern of the husband exists in the post. If we were to run on assumptions, then I could also say that OP is just vindictive. When asked her reasoning, her number 1 reasoning was she was not consulted, and her ability to commit to care only number 2. And like I said earlier, she could have done this thing, to ensure the safety of the child, then give the husband hell for it. It still would be reasonable and not an AH move. Instead she chose to roll the dice. I'm gonna assume her thought process was "who cares what happens to the brat". He is "unhinged" for reacting negatively, to a one time request being ignored at the possible cost of a childs safety? And since there is no mention of work on her part, I am also going to assume she is a stay at wife, who was going on lunches with "her family" as she put it, while when asked this favor, to call "some family member", which clearly means she does not think of his family as her family. I don't even think she sees her husband as her family. "He tried to argue but I hung up" again shows she doesn't care, not even enough to complete a conversation, while she was lunching with mum, which took another 3 hours. Notice the insults being in quotations. Which means this isn't normal language by her husband. OR that she wants to paint him as abusive. I can only assume the worst. She mentions cooking/cleaning, and she frames it as "I still HAVE to cook and clean obviously", letting us know it's a burden.The husband would probably be better off getting a maid rather than a wife. All of this of course, are just assumption. Me trying to take what little there is in the story to spin a fantastic tale to justify why I think the OP is an AH. No different than the spin people have put into saying this "this would have been the first of many favors he asked of her".

[@Movs.]

@@MikkosFree *No evidence that this is a pattern of the husband exists in the post* It literally does though. The second she didn't bow to his wishes he thinks that's grounds to verbally abuse her...over something she was never even given a choice on in the first place and was specifically told she would never have to worry about. Now he's swearing at her for not last minute breaking her plans with her mother. *Instead she chose to roll the dice. I'm gonna assume her thought process was "who cares what happens to the brat".* You say this right after claiming to care so much about people not making assumptions. Ok buddy. *which clearly means she does not think of his family as her family* Uh no, it means she's trying to detail a story for internet strangers and specifying that it's HIS nephew is important to the story. And his family is not her family, that's why you yourself just had to write "his family" to convey what you actually mean. When people get divorced they typically aren't still spending time with the ex's family, why? Because it isn't their family. Her MOM is her family without a doubt. So playing the family is important card is a little ridiculous when that's exactly what he was trying to stop her from doing, meeting up with her family to discuss family matters... He's the one who's not treating her like family, you don't make decisions like that without informing the person who also has to deal with it, you ignore this and just concentrate on her REACTION to her being treated unfairly and not like family at all. If his family thought of her as their family they would have consulted her as well. No one did though. Why not if she was truly family and should have part in this family decision? Oh right, because he decided that HIS family takes priority over the family he is starting with her. To the point that her opinion isn't even needed for him to ok sharing her living space with someone else. *She mentions cooking/cleaning, and she frames it as "I still HAVE to cook and clean obviously", letting us know it's a burden.The husband would probably be better off getting a maid rather than a wife.* Yes it is a burden, one she was never given proper warning for. She's also not writing that because of it being a burden (she doesn't seem that phased by it) she's bringing that up because she's pointing out that DESPITE her husband completely disregarding her opinion in the matter, she is ALREADY making sacrifices, and now he expects EVEN MORE sacrifices, specifically ones he straight up said previously would not arise. And yes I agree, selfish men who think their wives opinions are worthless should have just gotten a maid instead of wasting another human's romantic life for years. But they were too concerned about getting laid so instead of a maid they try to make their wives into one, then shame and swear at them if they don't comply. How healthy! *No different than the spin people have put into saying this "this would have been the first of many favors he asked of her".* It's not an unreasonable assumption in the least, it didn't take long after his promise to break it, so why you're so convinced he wouldn't again if she just easily caved is beyond me. You wrote a whole bizarre post assuming things about her past based on nothing, while we are making an assumption based on his literal behavior and applying it to the future, not assuming things about his past. Regardless it doesn't matter. That was just a side issue that he might do it again. The main point you're ignoring is that she has done nothing wrong, he went back on his promise, he made a huge decision without talking to her, and those are what's wrong here. The fact that it's pretty obvious to a lot of people that he'd do it again is besides the point my friend.

[@bessieburnet9816]

My god, it is not a crossing of boundaries. All he did was ask her to pick him up when his hands were tied from work. She was completely free. But she thinks her lunchtime is more sacred than the security of her nephew. God, she is awful to this kid.

[@RellaSemmone]

My heart is broken for that little kid.

[@MrNemitri]

I think story 3, everyone sucks here, husband for not consulting first, wife for not being a little understanding of the situation, also, does she work? I would understand added responsibilities on top of working, but sheesh, this is a major life event that needs to be conversed about!

[@thecoolgrandma7208]

Last story: NTA. Not clear in story but if OP was already at lunch with her Mother and they were having a serious discussion about family matters then 1) Might not be a good time to up and leave to go pick up nephew, 2) not a good conversation to have around a child, 3) inconvenience to Mother if they have to reschedule for privacy, 4) no guarantee he won't try to pull this again because OP gave in this time, and 5) he could call other family to pick up nephew like the grandparents or where is the Mother and her family?!

[@sassyloc]

Not the wife’s responsibility to take care of a child she was not even consulted about taking in…… where is the team effort????

[@hollowmstr]

Story 1: What happened to OP really makes me mad. I kind of went through the same thing when I was OP's age, both of my parents split up and were single for a long time, when my sister and I were pre-teens they found other people. both of my parents partially checked out their relationship with both of us. When OP's father got rid of all memories of her mother, that was a sign that he was ready to check out of the relationship with his daughter.

[@LilySaintSin]

The dad'll regret when that vile creature leaves him.

[@hollowmstr]

I agree the clear skies and calm seas of life will not last. Plus he will have to face his family and the mom's side of the family when Grandma and Grandpa start to tell everyone what happens.

[@senatorarmstrong4662]

@@hollowmstr most likely he’ll try to spin it to make it seems like his daughter just trying to make his new gf look bad and say she’s just being unreasonable but almost everyone will see through his bullshit and he’ll go full keemstar” WHY AM I STILL GETTING HATE?

[@Iflie]

I hope at one point that Op eviscerates her father for being led around by his hormones. At some point that affair fog sort of stuff should leave. The girlfriend probably told all kinds of lies to the dad but he was the one who believed them. He will not be walking her down the isle and he'll be alone at his old age

[@claudinecooper3398]

This first story breaks my heart. I’m a nurse and used to wonder why there were so many lonely old men in the Nursing Homes I worked in. This is why. Choosing women over their children. Very sad.

[@cookingkurry4384]

Story 3 I think OP is NTA. Simply because nothing was discussed, and would YOU like to be forced in to babysitting for an indefinite amount of time to a toddler? No? Thought so, cause this is not going to be the only time that this is going to happen (where the husband can't budget his own time ), it didn't take long for the husband to try and cross her boundaries that were set up, and to force her into a parental role which she didn't want to from the start. This is not what a wife is, this is what a guardian is which she did not agree too.

[@Movs.]

Funnier still is they did discuss it (after he sprung the commitment to her in the first place), and he agreed she wouldn't be responsible for picking him up ever. He straight up made a decision without her, and then lied to her. Yet people are calling her the AH. It's amazing to me.

[@truthseeker9249]

@@Movs. people are brainless. Don't take it personally. God knows I try not to.

[@mananexus]

I disagree it wouldn’t set her up to being anything to that child to pick him up once

[@cookingkurry4384]

@@mananexus Once is all it takes, to then hold that over her head. The excuses would now be, well you did it that one time, can you do it a again? That is how is starts.

[@Movs.]

@@mananexus Why do you assume that? He's already made it clear that refusing his wishes on this is going to equal guilt tripping and verbal insults/swearing. Meaning saying no to picking him up will ALWAYS be wrong, that's clearly what he's demonstrating here. Especially given this wasn't even remotely an emergency, the husband would have just rathered to not do it, makes it all the more obvious. Within almost no time at all he's already asking her to fill in more of his responsibilities, there's little reason to think it wouldn't happen again. In case you forgot, she's already been "set up" (to use your words) into a position of doing extra cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping because of this decision she was never given any part in making. He's already within a short amount of time got her set up as doing the majority of the actual work in taking care of this kid. Not sure how you don't see that.

[@shellchenonceau6987]

1st story: your dad already abandoned you in the most important manner . Best to go live with your grandparents.

[@clarehidalgo]

Op's Grandparents need to go after him for child support

[@_Morri_]

I really like your voice. It's warm and kind. Ofc I don't know you, but you seem a really nice and emphatic person.

[@paulinadeboer3604]

I agree.

[@heathermiller5765]

Oh he is, believe me 😊 Source: been subbed for a couple years now

[@ilovesports5468]

Story 3: NTA. If she would have gotten the child he would have kept pulling stunts and pawn the kid on her everyday

[@AlexiasShado]

I'm torn on that last one. It's clear she doesn't have a motherly bone in her body, nor an aunty bone. But you can't dump full-time child care responsibilities on anybody, especially that type of person, without asking! Cancer doesn't last a week, or even a few months. I've personally had a brain tumor discovered in 2007 that hasn't grown anymore since radiation. She would be primary caretaker of a child for at least half a year - and that asshole didn't even ASK?! WTF? This isn't a partnership. It's dysfunctional at its core and OP never once mentioned the child's reactions or feelings to all this chaos. He needs to go somewhere else.

[@tamsel814]

Op forgot to mention if there are any other family members. Rather convenient, but it makes me wonder if there is anywhere for the kid to go.

[@sunsignhealer]

The husband told OP he would be the primary care giver, he did not "dump" the kid on her! All he asked her to was help him, and if you're not willing help out your spouse you should not be married!!!

[@AlexiasShado]

@@sunsignhealer Chill the fuck out with your screaming. He never asked, he expected. Primary caregiver also means sole caregiver in this case, as in sole custody. The child was his pet project since he did not consult with his wife. If you didn't get the picture that neither party is emotionally mature enough to be married, then you're beyond help.

[@myeternalteardrop]

I sincerely hope that things fall apart for dad and his GF. And when that happens and he thinks that he can just come to OP, hat in hand, and apologize and thinks that they can just start over, I hope that OP tells him to pound sand and reminds him that he already made his choice and now he has to live with it.

[@jeanjohnson8492]

Story 1: OP and/or her grandparents need to check to see if her father is receiving Social Security benefits for her from her deceased mother and have the SSA send the payments to the grandparents for her care.

[@clarehidalgo]

Also they should try to get child support out of him

[@summer-fallwinter-spring8326]

Father should also be sending child support payments. Wonder how girl friend will like that.

[@Phantombucketmouse]

Can't wait for the story 1 update in 10 years when the dad is dying alone bc new wifey took off with the obligatory new kid and his last penny and OP is happily engaged/educated/etc and no longer speaks to her sperm donor.

[@scrivenerdenograde7661]

Story 3: I'm hesitant to make a judgement because OP isn't explaining enough of the dynamic. 1) Does he do this often? Where he signs up for more than he can manage and forces OP to bail him out? If it's a pattern, her reluctance to humour it makes sense. 2) Was there another relative that could have taken the nephew in? If so, then he really should have talked to her first about it. She'd be validated for being upset because it was an unnecessary burden forced onto her without warning. 3) When did the meeting occur? Did it start just as he needed to pick the child up or did it start earlier? If he knew and had enough time to make alternative arrangements, he should have. Yes, they're in a relationship but she stated her boundary on this situation (a fair one because if he steamrolled her on this, he'd probably have steamrolled her if she got more involved with the nephew) and he knows that she'd be off the table for arrangements because "he had time to plan". If it was last minute and not enough time, then he could have asked her to arrange alternate for the nephew (again, he should know she wouldn't help and what if she was too far away to even make it in time?). Also, was the meeting mandatory? Could he have asked to reschedule because he has obligations? 4) Why did the husband agree so quickly to the "It's your responsibility not mine" deal? Is it because that's the most he'd get from her, or is it because he planned to ignore her rule regardless? If it's the former, then again, he'd have known better than to expect her to assist because it wouldn't be the first time she's drawn this line (it'd be an YTA leaning on ESH because he married her and knows how she is). If it's the latter, then she's on point with not humouring him. 5) Why did he get upset with her and try to guilt her? (It's not a "Oh she's being cruel to the child" thing, it's a "Why was this his response to the situation"). If it's because she left a kid alone at school instead of picking him up, then yes, very justified. If it's because she didn't drop her plans immediately because he snapped his fingers at her, then it's on him (context here is so important because it shows the difference between being genuinely caring and a power struggle of a relationship). All in all, not enough info to judge OP to either direction

[@copercurlz]

Story 1: It always breaks my heart to hear what OP had to go through. I hope they are doing much better after all of them. I can't imagine my mother dying and my father remarrying shortly after and not telling me. Much love to OP and their grandparents.

[@clarehidalgo]

Op's grandparents need to go after him for child support

[@senatorarmstrong4662]

@@clarehidalgo make his pockets hurt.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I'd like to ask everyone to send prayers/ good thoughts to my sister. After reaching out 2x in a month and not hearing back from her, I checked her socials and things don't seem to be going well.

[@carolroberts4614]

Sending good thoughts and prayers for your sister. I'm so sorry.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

🙏🙏

[@bunnyslippers191]

Vibes for your sister on the way!

[@lindah3803]

I hope life turns around for your sis. May your worries be eased. Breathe, the waffle gang is here for you.

[@nonyabiznez38]

Story 1 was heart breaking. I hope this girl gets the love and therapy she needs. I’ve been in her shoes, in a slightly different way but my dad chose his trailer trash wife over us. I hope she lives her best life and never so much as gives him a passing glance. Story 2: NTA it’s her fault she’s so sensitive Story 3: I hope she stays at her mothers house and I hope the husband has divorce papers waiting for her when she goes to pick up more stuff. Her mask fell off to show what a cruel vile vindictive woman she is that she couldn’t help with something so small because she wants to run her mouth. Imagine hating someone for the crime of being a kid with a sick parent and then victimizing yourself to strangers. Vile

[@keijogirl]

Story 3: ESH, I can also see this being a case of he got hung up at work once, and will this happen again? If she did pick him up. She didn’t agree to it, just came home to the decision having already been made. So, idk, I’m pretty sure she isn’t attached for some reason as she doesn’t think of the child as her nephew or that he is close like that. There’s more to it so while ESH, I also lean towards NTA for her and YTA for the husband

[@Callimo]

Story 1: L father. Dude really decided to push away his own child instead of getting grief therapy. I know OP wouldn't wish this, but I hope he gets everything that's coming to him.

[@karlab95]

That last story made me roll my eyes SO hard "Call some family members to pick him up" THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE'S DOING??? He's calling his spouse. Spouses ARE family. Jeez

[@pattsdannys6316]

I've heard this story before, and I was kinda hoping for an additional update where the gf of the dad gets caught cheating, or she completely cleans him out, or she just gets bored and leaves him for somebody else. Honestly though, I just hope that op is doing better.

[@Femmebutstillathem]

He is taking a break from his daughter? Sich disgusting behavior. He didn’t deserve his wife nor his lovely kid.

[@aurea.]

Story 1 broke my heart, that poor child.

[@icdogg2361]

The "chill wedding rules" : my wife and I were very chill. We didn't assign seats at all. It was "sit wherever you want". I think this mildly annoyed some people but, you know, ultimately we had no "head table" and we had great food, far better than most catering halls, but in buffet style. My wife and I didn't get to eat more than a quick nibble, we were going around from table to table greeting and socializing. We had had three upstagers - a woman who dressed in black but kind of like Elvira, mistress of the dark, my wife's sister who used the occasion to tell everyone about her engagement, and my first cousin and his wife brought their very cute baby along and that stole a lot of attention. Because it was a relatively informal celebration, none of these things bothered us much. We dispensed with speeches, announcements, first dances, cake feeding, etc. And just went around the room and made sure we spoke to everyone, which was about 150 people. We had a big wedding cake, which my mother made. My mother was an administrator in a vocational school and had access to giant baking ovens, large pans, and other commercial level baking equipment, and got help from the baking teachers. It was a chocolate chip cake, my grandmother's old recipe, with a poured chocolate icing. That was 32 years ago and we're still together. The only thing I would've changed would've been to make sure we saved a couple of portions of food for ourselves. We had a lot of good food left over, but some things were all gone before we got a chance to eat any.

[@icalotdonthide2646]

I wish nothing but joy and happiness for that girl in the first story. May her father live and see his regret while she flourishes and my she be strong enough to have nothing to do with him.

[@DevjKaiser]

Story 1: If I was the grandparents I would’ve disowned him right in front of his girlfriend and told him he wouldn’t inherit a damn thing. His daughter would inherit everything from me and that was that. Don’t call, don’t text, go for child support, she’s old enough to tell the courts she wants to be with her grandparents.

[@wishbone666]

Story 3: I'm on the opposite of most the the comments, I think she is NTA for the same reasons that were stated with those who said she is. Marriage suppose to be a team commitment, and when he made a decision without consulting her first, he had broken that communication part of a team already. I feel she deserves to express boundaries, and she already said she'd cook and clean for the nephew, as she does this already. By the way she writes, she seems more a factual and logical person rather than an emotional one, so theres that to also to think of. It is a tough situation to be in, but to put it into a bit of perspective, imagine having a kid appear in front of you and you're told to take care of them without warning, that is probably how OP feels. OP's husband has a right to be upset/angry, but he also needs to realize OP set boundaries from the start, and that she also has plans. Just because they don't revolve around a child or work doesn't mean they can be changed with ease.

[@zachf748]

Why worry about leaving and hurting the dad… he clearly doesn’t give a shit about his daughter any longer. His whole behavior about introducing them, and how he treats her is beyond despicable.

[@shebakoby]

Story 1: ugh, OP's dad stuck it in crazy and thus sold his soul to a "demon in the sack" because his priority is to not 'die alone'. He's willing to sacrifice his relationship with his CHILD to make that happen (either by wilful ignorant denial or whatever)! Man sounds like he thinks with the 'lower head'...

[@clarehidalgo]

Hope Op's grandparents go after him for Child support

[@shebakoby]

@@clarehidalgo absolutely.

[@cynicalrabbit915]

Last story) OP won't help ESH 1) OP's DH made a decision W/O consulting his wife knowing it may impact her day to day life. 2) OP isn't being supportive of her husband during an emotionally trying time, and rejecting a child by refusing to accept him as a child who needs all the emotional support he can get and more like a pet rock who someone sent to her husband to care for.

[@flamelily2086]

Story 1 OP should go to her grandparents and not worry about her father's feelings. Her dad doesn't care about her feelings, he is only interested in his gf. So OP shouldn't feel any guilt about going to live with her grandparents. The update shows how the gf has got her hooks into OP's dad, I can't wrap my head around how a parent can dump a child do easily. At least OP knows exactly where she stands with her father and can now move on with her life without hoping that she might reconcile with her dad.

[@lynsthoughts3576]

OP's dad really needs to read this post. HIS NEW KAREN will ruin his life and finances as karma for mistreating his child. I hope there is a KARMA UPDATE... like she robbed him blind and cheated on him

[@kateajurors8640]

Wow for story 3 it isn't their kid and husband sprung this on her and the decides work is more important than HIS brothers cancer or kids and that he can unload what HE volunteered for on his wife? What if he was single or she was just a girlfriend 🤔

[@emo7636]

This 'dad' in the 1st story really disgusts me. How disgusting.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

This is a perfect example of Bridezilla vs Bridechilla. NTA, and I love the shiny spines OP and her future husband have. SIL is probably just jealous that her wedding was in the past and OP had a far more realistic and relaxed attitude towards weddings and marriage.

[@heathermiller5765]

Bridechilla, that's a new one lol 😁

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@heathermiller5765 I actually learned that from Reddit. 😊

[@alymay6849]

I don't even think he didn't believe her, he just didn't want to aknowledge it

[@stay1080]

i haven't been feeling my best lately and your videos really help lift me up. Thank you Mark

[@mariajw4803]

Hope it will turn for the better for you soon ❤

[@stay1080]

aww thank you everyone!

[@Movs.]

Stories about daughters losing their fathers lifts you up? To each their own I guess.

[@low-keydrama1260]

Story 1: Dad technically died the instant the mom did, especially when he started being distant. Watch this relationship not workout and he ends up alone. The very thing he accused Op of wanting. Except, he did this to himself. It just boggles my mind when parents choose their partners over their own kids. I’m sorry but the instant you have a child, they come first. And it ends up with these parents wondering why their kids hate them and don’t want anything to do with them

[@wierdgamer3067]

"You want space? You don't want to talk, and you want to spend all this time with your little missy? Fine. Here you go. All the space I could give you. There's no take backs in this deal. Once you got it, you'll always have it. Have fun, 'dad'"

[@astronautviolet153]

Story : 1 Op live with her grandparents in a much healthier environment,. Dad sounds very selfish and loved blind to that woman guaranteed .If he marry her and have children, Op will be the scapegoat or the black sheep.

[@rilo7891]

S1: Dads brain broke after losing his wife, and it can't be put back together again. S3: OP is the AH obviously.

[@Starshelle]

I'm surprised there wasn't more of an ESH verdict for the third story. The husband definitely should have discussed it with his wife before agreeing to take in his nephew, but she was being exceedingly selfish and petty at the same time. It's a shame he didn't discuss it with her beforehand, as he he should have, and it's a shame she is not having more compassion.

[@angleofkaos9459]

I disagree I don't think she's selfish she said a boundary and she made it clear she didn't want to deal with the nephew. if she would have caved this once he would expect her to do it more often and she didn't sign up for it. personally I would have done it but I don't think she's wrong.

[@Movs.]

Uh they did discuss it. The problem was he lied to her and said he would take on the responsibility for his nephew, then went back on his word. Can you explain how she is selfish for not wanting to cancel on her mom at the last minute because her husband took on a responsibility and couldn't do something as basic as planning for a part time nanny to pick his nephew up, despite knowing very well his job has unpredictable hours and it was only a matter of time before this situation arose? The guy is being paid overtime hours which is why he "can't make it", yet doesn't think he should put any of the extra money he's making into taking care of the responsibility he solely decided to take on? No instead he feels entitled to his wife's time and gas money for free after he already agreed she wouldn't have to be doing that. So yeah, they not only talked about her not having to do this exact thing already, he on top of pulling this stunt also agreed to taking in the nephew without even consulting her at all to begin with. That's just plain nuts, who does that? The wife is already making a sacrifice by allowing the house she lives in to be out of nowhere occupied by another living being she has to clean up after, now he feels entitled to even more, even swearing at her just because she has plans with her mom already. He gets paid at least time and a half for overtime, and he didn't think to shell out $40 to one of his friends, family or a nanny to stop their day and go pick up the kid? Someone who works overtime at their job couldn't foresee this ever happening? Give me a break. There are 100 options out there that don't include yelling at the one person who already said they wanted no part of this.

[@bessieburnet9816]

The husband not discussing it is a minor thing. If she had a shred of empathy, she would have done a complete 180. I get it's hard when you don't have time to prepare, but it's even more hard when your parent is dying in front of you. If thatbwere my husband I would have called for the kid to get here ASAP. I marry into the family, I will treat them like family.

[@Drewski217]

Taking a break and reevaluating the relationship with your CHILD?! may he only get that very best of the very WORST there is

[@WiseWordsbyWiki]

Story 3: You know there was a story were the wife brought home her two nieces for a few hours due to a health emergency in her family and her husband lost it and refused to help her do anything with two freaked out girls. Reddit told op she was TA because she didn't consult her husband and asked him to help. Wonder what's so different here? Also, he really had no one else to call? Also as someone who can't stand kids, the child being 12 or it being a short time doesn't matter. I cannot stand kids and the noise they make(literally I'm autistic and children are the best way to cause a sensory overload), I avoid them for mine and their sake. Nothing good is going to come from our interactions

[@randomusername3873]

Right? The least he can do is to not inconvenience her further after the stunt he pulled

[@ellorasg4525]

After a few years dad from story 1 will make a post about how the gf dumped him and his daughter want nothing to do with him lol

[@britnicox3929]

1: If I was one of the grandparents in the first story the day I went and got my granddaughters things, it would be the day that I would tell him he is no longer welcome in my family and to lose my number. You don’t get to take a break from your kids and he will regret that. I also hope somebody tells him that his late wife would be disgusted by the way he’s treating her.

[@2LiterFoxBody]

That dad might be the most contemptible weakling I've ever heard of. Sorry OP, wherever you are.

[@Tijggie82]

Story 3: I'm one of the people who thinks it's important to help people when they struggle. So if this is just temporary then, yes, I think they are TA. However, this is not a simple situation. Cancer is not a simple decease that one simply cures from and move on. What happens when recovery doesn't go as fast as planned? Has there been an agreement on the timelimit for the child to stay? What happens if the brother dies? Is there a mother in the picture? I think this is what's really in the back of her mind. Feels like there's a humongous gap in communication between them. These are things that need to be discussed. Not sure if I see this relationship survive.